Chapter Text
02:00
[LafaYEET added TurtleFuck, FuckTurtle, HercuLEAVES, I'mNotFuckingCold, G-peg, Lizard, Angle, Original G™, 1812, Jessica, East Side Maria's.]
LafaYEET: we are here to discuss alexander hoemilton's, how you say, 'relation' with the fuckturtle.
G-peg: what the hecky
Lizard: alexander hoemilton im wheezinf
TurtleFuck: Not this again
Jessica: Well I mean if you want we can talk about-
TurtleFuck: CONTINUE PLEASE
ImNotFuckingCold: It's like 3 in the morning guys
LafaYEET: And?
G-peg: PEGGY
Angle: What's with all the noise?
TurtleFuck: Morning Angelica
Angle: Alexander are you gay yet?
TurtleFuck: Imean
LafaYEET: LET MOI, LAFAYETTE, EXPLAIN
1812: Oh this is gonna be good
TurtleFuck: MADISON GTFO
LafaYEET: ANYWAYS
ImNotFuckingCold changed their name to GOODNIGHT
LafaYEET: While I was putting away my carriages filled with baguettes and french fries I walked in front of Laurens' bedroom and I might've
TurtleFuck: HWJWBSBSGGS
TurtleFuck: HEHSBSYHAIOO))PWPLSDN
TurtleFuck: TTWHSBSHA
G-peg: wht
Angle: Alexander what the fuck
LafaYEET: Alexander you burnt French toast morceau de merde
1812: It was getting interesting
TurtleFuck: Great story Lafaguette why don't we all go to sleep and forget this ever happened
Angle: I say we continue the story
G-peg: CONT InUE TJE FaNFI C
HercuLEAVES: what the hell is this?
LafaYEET: I'm telling a story, mon trésor
HercuLEAVES: okay I'm ready hit me
TurtleFuck: OH GOd
LafaYEET: BACK TO THE STORY
LafaYEET: Curious me decided to take a peek inside le trou only to see that Alexander and Laurens wrapped together under the sheets as straight as a croissant
HercuLEAVES: christ almighty
G-Peg: kinky
Angle: I KNEW IT
1812: Going in the papers for sure 12/10 would fap again
Jessica: Kinda figured you weren't straight after you laid eyes on me
TurtleFuck: Did the shoe I kicked up your ass when I roasted you like a chicken go to your head
TurtleFuck: No one could ever find you attractive
1812: I beg to differ
Jessica: Says the one who paid to keep seeing a whore
EastSideMaria's: I'm here you know
Jessica: OFUCC
Jessica: But it's true tho
EastSideMaria's: Well how could anyone say no to this?
Angle: Easily, bitch
G-peg: damn calm down maria is pretty
EastSideMaria's: Well Alexander didn't say no
Angle: because he was a stupid smol angsty teen back then leave the boy be
TurtleFuck: Can we not talk about the past
EastSideMaria's: You're right I should get going
EastSideMaria's: Call me if you need some passtime Alexander
G-peg: maria no
EastSideMaria's: Maria yes
Angle: You better run bitch
Angle: She probably went to go attract more rich men on her bucket list
Original G: That story was gayer than my rainbow tainted voice
TurtleFuck: HOLYFUCK
Original G: I bet you my head that Laurens of yours is in your bed rn
FuckTurtle: sure am
Turtlefuck: LAURENS NO
FuckTurtle: laurens yes
EastSideMaria's: Thats my line you hoe
FuckTurtle: roll back the attitude, bitch
G-peg: mar & john pls break it up its too late to fight
TurtleFuck: It's never too late to fight
TurtleFuck: also laf is being too quiet where he go what he do
HercuLEAVES: he do me
G-peg: im too innocent for this gotta blast
TurtleFuck: I AGREE WITH BURR AFTER ALL GOODNIGHT
Lizard: mmmmm you touch my bag-baguette
Angle: right, thats it, liza, im taking away the vodka for tonight
GOODNIGHT: i hate you all.