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“So.. Who the hell is he?” Rose asked as he decided to confront the situation head-on, taking notice of how bothered her father already looked over her interrogation. “I feel like we have the right to know after we caught you two in bed together.”
“We were sleeping.” Slade sighed as he forced himself to entertain the conversation, not missing how Zsasz sat there next to him with a knife in hand, looking more than a little irritated that their normal domestic morning was suddenly being hijacked by a bunch of kids he had never met before. “Zsasz is a … He's a friend.”
“You have friends?” Joseph signed as he decided to take his own shot at his father, taking notice of how Slade's eye twitched as he forced himself to remain quiet. “Is there a reason the two of you were in bed together when you have a perfectly good couch out here? I feel like there's something you're not telling us.”
“The two of us came in late, and it was convenient, and maybe not sleeping alone for once is something I find comforting.” Slade responded with more force and emotion behind his words than he really intended there to be, taking a breath as he pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to calm himself before he spoke again. “When did my dating life become open for interrogation?”
“So you admit that you two are dating?” Rose mused as she took this little detail out of context, not allowing Slade the chance to explain himself. “Don't try and deny it now.”
“Is this normal?” Victor questioned as he continued to twirl the knife in his hand, shaking his head when he took notice of the irritated look on Slade’s face, which prompted him to stand up to try. “I should leave.”
“Sit down.” Rose and Joseph demanded at the same time before Rose took over the conversation, eying Zsasz up and down as he slowly sat back down. “I'll get to you in a minute.”
Even as complicated as Slade’s relationship with his kids was when it came to the potential for a step-parent who could serve to be better than the original, his kids' reactions were always the same. Slade had shared a working relationship with Zsasz within Arkham for a while. Zsasz was a nice person to talk to. He was a smart man who had a lot of insight on Gotham elites, as he had once been one himself, and he didn't care about much outside his mission. There was also the fact that he was a decent fuck, but his kids didn't need to know about that. The two of them had genuinely been asleep when Rose dropped in, and of course, when Rose saw Zsasz, she had to involve Joseph, and Joseph called Respawn, and now Slade had everyone short of his ex-wife on his ass about his potential dating life with Zsasz.
“Is he going to be our new dad?" Respawn questioned with an overall sense of hope in his voice, only seeming to get more excited the longer he stared at Zsasz, which seemed to make the older man a little uncomfortable. “Are you two getting married?”
“No.” Slade and Victor responded at the exact same time before Slade took over the conversation, letting out a tired sigh as he tried to get his kids to back off. “We are just friends.”
“Friends.. And what about the used condoms in the trash?” Joseph signed as he examined the numerous rubbers in the nearby trash can, not daring to touch them as he tried to count the number of them that had been run through. “Looks like you two ran through the whole pack. Is that just something friends do with each other? Because if so, I need to reevaluate a few friendships of my own.”
“I don't need to explain myself.” Slade responded with his voice, staring slightly, his attention snapping to his daughter, who had taken to staring at Zsasz a bit too much for comfort. “Stop staring.”
“You're having sex with a man who is covered in scars to mark the number of people he's killed.” Rose acknowledged in a matter-of-fact sort of manner, not bothering to hide her disdain for the situation. “I think you need to reevaluate your life choices.”
“Get out.” Slade demanded as he stood up from the couch, looking at all of his children as he spoke. “All three of you.”
“Don't get all upset because we found out about your little fuck buddy.” Joseph signed as he put the trash can back where he found it, turning his attention to Rose, who looked to be having a standoff with their father. “At least he's being safe.”
“Safe.” Rose repeated with a scoff as if that was the stupidest thing she had ever heard, shaking her head at her brother as she laid out the situation for what it was. “You call sleeping with a psychopath safe?”
“You know what I mean.” Joseph signed with a bit of attitude, pausing for a moment when he saw their father pick up one of his swords. “Slade—”
“Get. Out.” Slade demanded as he pointed them towards the door, his gaze falling on Respawn, who looked like he was debating whether or not to hug Victor. “Take your brother with you.”
“What's a fuck buddy?” Respawn asked as his siblings directed him to the door, smiling at Slade and Victor as he was pulled out of the house. "Bye, Dad! Bye Mr. Zsasz!”
“You want to explain what that was about?” Victor asked after the door slammed shut, watching as Slade buried his face in his hands, which prompted him to take that as enough of an answer. “I'll take that as a no then.”
“Ignore them.” Slade instructed as he reflected on the mess his kids had just made, taking one of Victor's cigarettes out of the pack to help relieve some of that stress. “Do you want some breakfast?”
“That sounds fine to me.” Victor responded with a half-hearted shrug, lighting a cigarette of his own as he stood up from the couch. “I'll make some coffee.”
This was not how Slade wanted to start his morning, but with the fucked-up family he had, he wasn't sure what he really expected. Zsasz seemed to handle the situation well enough, or at least that's what Slade assumed at first. It wasn't until breakfast was almost over that he started to realize there was now an issue between them. Unlike him, Zsasz was in Arkham for a reason. He was unstable, and this shit was horrible for his mental health. He was horrible for his mental health.
“So.. Just friends?” Victor asked after a few seconds, taking the silence he received in return from Slade as an answer within itself. “Glad to know where I stand with you.”
“Don't start.” Slade warned with a tired sigh, taking notice of how bothered Victor seemed with this whole situation, which led to him to attempt to explain himself a little. “I don't need the kids involved.”
“Glad to know where we stand.” Victor repeated with more force this time, grabbing one of his knives, which he promptly tucked into his pocket before he headed for the door. “I have business to take care of.”
“Victor.” Slade called out as Victor started to storm off towards the door, already knowing that he had fucked up big time this time. “Zsasz.”
“I'll call.” Victor cut in before Slade had a chance to approach him, looking the other man up and down before he spoke again. “Maybe.”
Maybe. Slade had never hated his life as much as he did at that moment. He couldn't even keep a relationship with a man who lived solely to end the lives of those around him. How pathetic was that?