Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

In was midnight when Zuko woke up gasping for air. It was no longer cold enough to warrant a coat this far into the Earth Kingdom, but chills still raised along his skin, waves of cold washing through him as Zuko fought to try and correct his breathing.

He knew it was a nightmare even without being able to remember any of the details.

It had been a long time since he'd had any sort of new nightmares. Zuko would still get them periodically about the Agni Kai with his father, but that felt like an old wound, like pressing on a bruise as it was healing. This was the wounds on his back slowly healing and leaving thick, golden lines for scars in their wake.

Uncle had wondered if they were healing in such a way because of the blessing, if his body was working double to make the wounds close and traces of the spiritual energy working to do so were being left as proof.

Zuko didn't want proof. He wanted the wounds gone and he wanted to never look at them again.

He wasn't scared. It was what he'd told himself every time he woke up since the attack on Agna Qel'a. Zuko wasn't scared. Zhao was dead, and Zuko would've never gone back to his ship even if he wasn't. So he had nothing to be scared of. His friends were still here, and he was beside them, and everything was fine.

Every time he woke up from a nightmare, though, Zuko could feel fear thrumming relentlessly beneath his skin.

He couldn't stop it, no matter how much he tried breathing and meditating or pushing himself with physical training until he thought his body might break again.

A part of himself would've been happy to break. Being broken felt far more familiar than the security that came from days spent on a boat getting as much sleep as he could, or playing Pai Sho with Uncle, drinking tea with him before bed. Exercising in the morning with Sokka and doing waterbending forms to stretch out his sore muscles with Katara.

Even flying for most of the day on Appa had felt too comfortable.

Comfort was a dream Zuko had most nights before he woke up and remembered why it wasn't something he could have. He moved too much for comfort, would always be two steps in the other direction.

That was why Zuko forced himself to stay still. Running was easy. Regardless of how much he would miss it if he did, running was the easy option, the cowardly option. It was becoming increasingly clear that if Zuko wanted something, he'd have to fight to keep it. He could do that, for his friends. It would be nice to finally have something to fight for, besides himself.

Zuko stood up and walked towards the river they'd stopped beside. It was a familiar river, sitting between Senlin village and the pier he'd first encountered the strange team of kids that had been working towards taking down the Fire Lord.

He sat down on the sand, still damp where the waves at washed over it, and stared down into the water's surface. From here, he couldn't quite see his reflection—only the top of his head as the slight ripples warped it—and Zuko tried not to feel grateful for that fact. Sooner or later, he'd have to get over the fear he had over his own reflection.

Slowly, Zuko leaned closer until he could see the rest of his face. It was a rainbow of colors, yellow and green of nearly healed bruises mixing with the black and blue colors of ones still healing. The gold and red of his spirit markings and warrior tattoos stood out against them, the sun pattern on his face gleaming slightly—a duller version of his eye.

His pupil had been swallowed in the golden blaze that was his left eye. Only a slight pinprick of it remained, swirling and changing shapes as the color shifted to different shades of gold. His right eye seemed dull in comparison, barely visible in the darkness of the night, the standard golden brown of the Fire Nation.

Zuko leaned back and stared up at the sky. The moon was only a sliver in the sky, shining down on the water faintly.

Katara had told him what happened to Yue one night on the boat, when it had been just the two of them and they couldn't sleep.

"Zhao killed the Moon Spirit," She'd said, looking up at the dark sky above the boat. Her face was impassive, her eyes tired as she spoke. "Yue said she the Moon Spirit had given her life, and that it was time she gave it back."

"She was sick when she was young. Her parents prayed to Tui and La in the Spirit Oasis for her to live, and Tui blessed her."

Katara nodded slowly and wiped at the tears that had fallen from her eyes. Zuko stayed silent.

"I wish it could've been different," She said finally and stood up, heading below the deck.

Zuko wished it would've been different as well.

Could he have done something, had he not been there? Could he have given up his own blessing in exchange for Yue? Would he have?

Zuko felt like something inside of him would never be stable again, not after the days spent on Zhao's ship or the night spent wrestling with the blessing that sang through his veins. All he could hear was promises of violence. Zuko didn't want to be violent. He'd never been the kind of cruel his father wanted, but maybe his appearance wasn't the only thing he'd inherited from the man.

Something bumped his shoulder and landed softly in the sand on his right. Zuko looked over and saw Sokka smiling at him.

"Did I wake you?" Zuko asked and turned back to the river. Looking at the boy was difficult, after the burns he'd given Sokka along his arms where he'd held him down. Both he and Katara said they were minimal and barely hurt even before she'd healed him, but it didn't make Zuko feel much better.

"No- Well, sort of, but it's not a big deal, I was already kind of awake anyway. I just noticed you were gone and thought maybe you could use some company," Sokka said, leaning back on the sand. After a moment, Zuko laid down as well.

"That'd be nice," He said after a moment.

For a long moment, they were both silent. Sokka's presence felt grounding in a way little else did, like he'd wrapped his arms around Zuko and never quite let go. He wanted to hate the way it slowed his thoughts to something manageable, made him feel light in ways Zuko hadn't felt since he'd been young.

"What're you thinking about?" Sokka asked after a moment, his voice soft, almost drowned out by the sounds of the forest around them.

"Nothing," Zuko hummed.

Sokka scoffed. "Zuko, your thinking face is about as subtle as a hungry otter penguin. I know you're thinking about something."

Zuko rolled his eyes. "Are you paying extra attention to my face or something?"

A laugh barked out of Sokka, cut-off nearly as soon as it left his mouth. "Hah. Funny, Zuko. Stop changing the subject."

"It's nothing, really. Just a bad dream," Zuko said, frowning as he looked up at the sky. Past the trees, he could just make out the colors shifting with the arrival of dawn.

He looked at Sokka. "You should probably try and get a bit more sleep. We're supposed to move at dawn."

Sokka shrugged. "It's fine. You wanna' talk about the dream?"

"I don't remember it."

Sokka nodded slowly. "I dreamed that we were riding Momo instead of Appa, and Druk was sitting on your head like that hat you had, when we first met you. We were flying towards Ba Sing Se so Katara could take the Earth King's place."

Zuko couldn't help but smile at the absurdity of the dream. "That's insane. Did you really dream all of that?"

Sokka nodded, smiling himself. "Yeah. I get weird dreams like that, like, all the time. One time-"

Zuko cut him off before he could begin rambling. "Why'd you wake up?"

"What?" Sokka looked at him.

Zuko turned back to looking at the sky. "You said you were already awake. Did something wake you?"

"Bad dream?" Sokka tried, then sighed at the unimpressed look on Zuko's face.

For a long moment, Sokka was quiet. Finally, he spoke. "I feel like if I'd done something differently, things would've turned out better in Agna Qel'a."

Zuko frowned slightly. "It's not all your fault, Sokka. You did what you could, and that's enough. There's no changing what happened now."

Sokka looked at him from the corner of his eye. "You're blaming yourself, though. Aren't you?"

"It's different. If I hadn't fallen for the letter, maybe I could've done something against Zhao."

"You can't change what happened," Sokka parroted after a moment. "You did enough just by getting back, Zuko. They were torturing you."

"It wasn't that bad," Zuko mumbled.

Sokka grabbed his hand, leaning into Zuko's shoulder with his own. "You haven't told us a lot, Zuko—hardly anything, actually—and it's okay, really. But don't say it wasn't that bad when we were the ones who had to put you back together when we found you."

"You can't blame yourself for what happened, either, Sokka," He said after a moment.

Sokka looked away. "It was my job to protect Yue. My one job. And I couldn't protect anyone. Not her, not Katara or Aang, not—"

He stopped, his eyes turning distant. His grip on Zuko's hand went a little tighter, barely noticeable except for the way Zuko was acutely aware of every point of contact between them. "I thought that letter was suspicious. No signature or anything. It didn't sound like Iroh. He wouldn't have asked you to risk yourself to help him. But I didn't want to say anything in case it made you act impulsively."

"Which I did," Zuko hummed.

"Which you did," Sokka huffed out a small laugh.

Zuko frowned. "I should've listened to all of you. Would've saved everyone a bit of pain."

Sokka laid back against the sand, staring up at the stars doting the sky. After a moment, Zuko joined him. It was steadily getting lighter, dawn getting closer the longer they laid here. "We had a lot of fun while you were gone. Katara totally almost beat Master Pakku in a fight."

Zuko hummed and glanced towards where their hands were still tangled together before looking away. "I wondered how that happened."

"Yeah. I trained with the warriors. That was fun, except for Hahn, he was a total jerk, didn't deserve Yue at all." Sokka was quiet, seeming to contemplate something, then speaking again. "You probably would've wiped the floor with all of them."

Zuko laughed, his head feeling light. "You think too highly of my skills."

Sokka scoffed. "Please, they were a bunch of stuck up jerks, the Blue Spirit could've taken any of them easy."

"Spirits, enough about the Blue Spirit," Zuko huffed, rolling his eyes.

Sokka sat up suddenly, releasing Zuko's hand to cross his arms. "Excuse me. The Blue Spirit is a legend where I come from."

Zuko rolled his eyes again. "You probably didn't even hear about the Blue Spirit until you got to the Earth Kingdom."

Sokka laid back down. "You're right. Some of the Kyoshi Warriors were big fans after he visited the island once, though. Told us all about it when we got there."

"Great," Zuko sighed. Sokka laughed.

The river was quiet, for the most part. The sounds of the night slowly faded to birdsong as the sun finally crested over the trees, streaking the sky in pale yellow and pink, pushing the blue of the night away. The stars winked out slowly, and with them, the moon slipped past the horizon.

"It's not your fault. What happened with Yue. She knew what she was doing, probably better than any of us," Zuko said softly. Sokka's face was tipped towards the sun as it rose, the rays of it making him appear almost ethereal.

He hummed and slowly opened his eyes, looking at Zuko.

"You think it's some sort of spirit bullshit? That it was her destiny, or something?" Maybe the words had supposed to have been delivered with more anger, but they only sounded weary and exhausted. Like Sokka was afraid of the answer.

Zuko watched the river as it slowly began reflecting the sun. "I think, in some ways, those who are blessed by a spirit won't ever find peace the same way anyone else will. We're too human to be a spirit, and too spirit-like to be accepted by the masses. My uncle believed it was a part of my destiny to have been blessed by Agni, and from what I understand, the most common way to receive a blessing is in an hour of need.

"So, maybe it wasn't Yue destiny to sacrifice her life for the Moon Spirit, but to return to it whenever her life had come to an end. I could be wrong, though. First time being spirit-touched and all, y'know? Maybe it doesn't mean anything at all. It would make sense for us to have to sacrifice something to make up for what the spirits gave us, I guess."

Sokka put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't turn into the sun on us, buddy. I mean it. I'm not even going to be upset, just super mad if that happens."

Zuko couldn't help but laugh.

Uncle had stayed on Master Pakku's ship even after they'd left. He'd said that their paths would cross again before their journey was over, but he was needed elsewhere to do his part for the war.

"Don't worry, Prince Zuko. I will see you soon, that I can promise," He'd said before they'd gotten on Appa and flown towards General Fong's fortress.

Zuko had been okay with that, after he'd gotten over the overwhelming anxiety of being away from his uncle again. The man was right, there was probably much more that he could do to help them in the war. And they would be seeing each other when it was over; wherever they were, Zuko would see Uncle again.

Now though, standing before General Fong and his garrison of men, Zuko thought it would be best if Uncle came with them everywhere from now until they had to face the Fire Lord.

"Avatar Aang! What a pleasure it is to host all of you in my fortress. Brave Sokka. Mighty Katara. Strong Zuko. And of course, Appa, Momo, and Druk. Welcome all of you!"

Aang smiled at the general as fireworks went off from somewhere behind them.

Katara hummed. "'Mighty Katara.' It's got a good ring to it."

Sokka bumped Zuko with his elbow. "Mighty is like brave and strong combined."

"It's because I'm better than the both of you," She said, a mocking smile growing on her face.

Sokka gaped at her, following her closely as they moved further into the fortress. "I helped invent a war balloon! Zuko has a dragon!"

"Oh wow, a dragon," Zuko said dryly. Druk bumped him hard in the leg and huffed out a ring a smoke. Zuko sighed. "Sorry, Druk."

Katara smiled at Sokka. "We can talk when you've fought Fire Nation soldiers, okay?"

"I have!" Sokka said loudly as Katara walked away.

Zuko put a hand on his shoulder and tried offering the boy a sympathetic look when he looked at Zuko. "I think she's teasing you. If that helps."

Sokka sighed loudly and fell dramatically against Zuko's shoulder. "I'll never recover. You've got to restore my honor, Zuko."

"No, thank you. I think you'll survive," Zuko said, trying to push the boy off.

Sokka stood up and huffed. "You never go along with a joke."

"You'll have to forgive me," Zuko sighed.

"Fine, fine. All is forgiven. Let's go." Sokka grabbed Zuko's wrist and pulled him down the hall to catch up with Katara and Aang. They slipped in through the door they'd just gone through just in time.

General Fong seemed to have prepared for their arrival, cushions set around a table that had been set with tea. A few soldiers stood posted around the columns in the room, watching impassively as Fong went past the table to sit behind a stone desk.

"Please, sit," The general said, gesturing them towards the table.

He spoke again when they'd sat down and stroked his beard thoughtfully.

"The tales of your heroism in Agna Qel'a have reached us here in the Earth Kingdom. I'm sure it's reached much further as well. All the stories are quite impressive. Especially the one where you took out an entire fleet of Fire Nation ships. To wield such devastating power; I simply can't imagine it. It's an awesome responsibility."

Fong was quiet for a moment, his face contemplative. Eventually, he spoke again.

"I believe, with the power you wield, you could face the Fire Lord now."

"He can't," Katara said instantly. "He hasn't mastered all four elements yet. He still needs an earthbending teacher."

Aang nodded. "Katara's right. The only reason I was able to do any of that in Agna Qel'a was because of the Avatar State, and I don't know how to use that at will."

Fong nodded slowly as he spoke, then stood up. "Very well, it's decided. I'll help you harness the Avatar State, as you call it, and then you will fulfill your destiny."

"No," Zuko said at the same time as Katara said, "Nothing is decided. We already have a plan, for Aang to master all four elements and pursue his destiny his own way."

Fong regarded them carefully and turned to look out a window. "While you take your time mastering all four of your elements, the war continues. The Fire Nation marches closer every day, takes lives from families. May I show you something?" He gestured Aang towards him.

Slowly, Aang went over to the man and stood at his side as Fong gestured out the window, speaking just low enough they couldn't hear.

Beside Zuko, Druk hissed, shifting nervously and growling when the soldiers moved too much.

After a moment, Aang came back to them. Fong gestured to a soldier. "Would you show them to their room?"

Zuko watched the man as they stood up, hesitating for just a moment before following Aang out of the room.

Everything he'd said sounded like complete nonsense, and the feeling clearly resonated with Sokka and Katara; Katara had her arms crossed angrily across her chest, and Sokka's hands fidgeted with a loose thread on his shirt.

But Zuko could see the contemplative look on Aang's face. Of course, whatever Fong had said about the people dying in the war had affected the boy.

"Aang," Zuko said carefully when they were safely in their room.

Aang hesitated before turning to look at Zuko. "He's right. People are still dying while we waste time trying to master all the elements."

"You're not wasting time, Aang," Katara said, her voice stern. "You're doing what Roku told you to do, and doing what you think is best."

"People have been fighting and dying in this war for one hundred years. That's not going to stop just because you're trying to rush through it," Zuko said.

"Maybe it's worth a try. It was pretty impressive, taking out Zhao's whole fleet," Sokka said after a moment.

Zuko glared at him. "But it's not enough to face the Fire Lord if he can't even control it."

Sokka's eyes widened for a moment and he put his hands up in a placating gesture. "I'm not saying we do it, obviously. Maybe it's a good idea to try, though?"

"Not like this, though," Katara argued. "We had a plan, we have a plan. We shouldn't let General Fong get in the way of that just because he thinks he knows more than us."

Zuko looked at Aang. The boys focus was on the floor, his eyes flicked back and forth like the answer would come to him if he looked hard enough.

"What do you think, Aang?"

For just a moment, the boy was silent. When he spoke, Aang's voice was soft, barely a whisper.

"I don't want anyone else to get hurt because of me."

"You can't fight a war overnight. And you can't ask people to wait for you. Everything takes time." Zuko put a hand on Aang's shoulder.

Aang frowned. "We don't have the kind of time we need to master all four elements."

"Then it's important we don't let the time go to waste."

When Aang still seemed unsure, Zuko squeezed his shoulder once and let go.

"Sleep on it. We've still got some time here."

After a moment, Aang nodded and walked away. Katara followed him and sat beside him; Zuko could see her saying something but didn't stay long enough to try and find out.

"Where are you going?" Sokka asked as Zuko turned to the door.

"I'm gonna' look around the place a little."

Sokka stood up. "I'll come with you."

Zuko thought about arguing, but Sokka was already standing up. Maybe with a bit of space, Aang wouldn't rush to make a decision.

So he didn't say anything as they walked out into the halls. The fortress was big, sprawling outwards with large training areas Zuko glimpsed through the windows. He could make out the vague shape of soldiers walking around in the courtyard, some of them passing on ostrich horses with spears.

"Do you think Aang could fight the Fire Lord in the Avatar State?" Sokka asked as they walked.

"I've never seen him in the Avatar State. I can't say for sure, but I know that how he is now, without the Avatar State, he doesn't stand a chance." Zuko lead them back towards the room Fong had led them to when they first arrived, taking note of all the doors as they got close. "I don't think it's smart to rely on such a volatile force for something so fragile."

Sokka hummed and stopped them for a moment, peaking into a half-open door. Zuko caught a glimpse of bookshelves and a window towards the back, midday sun filtering through the panes weakly.

"But maybe it would be a good idea to see if it can be triggered, especially in a place like this, where it can be handled better," Sokka mumbled, his attention hesitating over the books for a moment before he turned away. Zuko lead them further down the hall.

Zuko stopped outside an unassuming door, compared to the regal-looking one Fong was likely still behind.

Slowly, he opened the door and saw the room behind it thankfully empty. Zuko pulled Sokka in and closed the door. It was small, compared to some of the other rooms they'd seen in the fortress. A few pieces of furniture were tucked inside, stacked precariously to make enough room in the room.

"I don't trust him, though. The way he talks about the Avatar State, like it's not a part of Aang. It's weird," Zuko mumbled as he pushed further into the room, swiping dust off of wood pieces.

Zuko wasn't letting himself think about what his words sounded like. His thoughts on General Fong were completely rational and not at all an interpretation of his own anxiety.

Sokka was quiet for a moment, staring up at him as the boy cautiously moved through the room himself, looking over everything in the room.

"Nothing's going to go so wrong that something happens to Aang," He said after a moment, his words quiet, like the dust was muffling the sound of his voice.

Zuko's hands stilled. "I know," He snapped and sat heavily on a table that had been leaned against the wall near the ceiling.

"Okay," Sokka said simply. "What're we looking for, anyway?"

Zuko looked around. "I was trying to figure out if this guy was hiding something. Something we needed to know about before it was too late."

Sokka leaned against the table Zuko was sitting on, his expression thoughtful.

"Well," He said after a moment. "You've probably got more experience snooping than I do, but my best guess is, if he wasn't hiding anything, it shouldn't be a big deal we're looking around."

That made sense. Zuko certainly hadn't thought about going about it so obviously, but it was certainly one way to figure it out.

"Okay," Zuko said, drawing out the 'y'. "Any idea where to start?"

Sokka snorted. "Zuko, this is your mission, not mine."

Zuko huffed, kicking his feet slightly before slowly making his way back to the door. "Let's keep going on this floor, then."

Sokka followed him out, hesitating for much less time outside the library before they kept moving.

It took less time then Zuko thought it would to return to the parts of the fortress more traveled. Soldiers stopped being a rare sight, and slowly they both relaxed as they rummaged through the place. No one stopped them as they walked past, dipping their heads in acknowledgement and nothing else.

They slipped out into the training yards and found them empty, the sun beating down and warming the sand as they walked across.

Zuko sat with a sigh and tipped his head back, enjoying, for the moment, the heat as it came down and seemed to sink into his bones.

The north had been fun, ignoring all the not-fun bits. Zuko hadn't even minded the cold that much, once he got a coat. But he'd missed this kind of warmth, where the sun beat down and sank into everything it touched. It was different, still, from the Fire Nation, but it was nice. He'd grown used to it in his year of traveling the Earth Kingdom.

His chest ached at the familiar feeling. The sunlight had felt like a dangerous, unfamiliar thing ever since he'd lost control of the blessing. It was beginning to feel normal again, though. Not like the hands that had stained his skin with bruises as a child.

Zuko looked over at Sokka. He'd sat out of the sun, in the shade the walls around the fortress cast. The boy was already looking at him, and spoke when he realized Zuko's attention was on him.

"Did you ever think about what it would've been like if you weren't born in the Fire Nation? Or had gone somewhere else besides the Sun Warriors?" Sokka asked, his hand braced on his knees as he held his head, squinting slightly as he looked at Zuko.

Zuko hummed and crawled over to sit beside the boy. "I guess not. Azula joked once that maybe I could run away and an Earth Kingdom family would adopt me. Or one of the Water Tribes. That was after she overheard our grandfather order my death. Why?"

Sokka was quiet for a moment as he looked out over the training yards. Finally, he spoke. "You think things would've been different if you had?"

"Definitely," Zuko said. "How do you think things would've been different?"

Sokka's expression shifted as he thought about it. "I don't know. What were you like as a kid?"

Zuko laughed and then sighed as he thought about it. "I'm the wrong person to ask about this," He finally said.

Sokka sputtered. "I'm asking about you!" He said loudly.

"Exactly! How am I supposed to know what I was like as a child?"

An elbow jammed into his side. "Try, would you?" Sokka huffed, leaning back and watching Zuko as he tried again.

"I don't know," Zuko sighed. "We had a turtleduck pond at the palace that I went with my mother to a lot. We fed them bread and stuff. Azula and I used to play a lot, and Mai and Ty Lee were there a lot. When Lu Ten was there, I used to train with him a lot. He liked to use swords sometimes, I guess that's where I found a love for them."

Sokka leaned back on his hand and watched Zuko. "What sort of games did you play?"

"Anything, if we were bored enough. Azula liked tag because she got to practice firebending, and Mai liked it too, she'd get sticks and stuff and she had really good aim, so Azula let her do it. Ty Lee was pretty good at tag, but me and her liked hiding best 'cause I knew all the best spots and she knew how to reach them without getting us both hurt.

"Father didn't like a lot of playing unless we were getting something out of it. So while we were young, we played tag a lot. At some point, it moved to seeing how far Azula could shoot fire at you without burning you. I'd started learning to fight with the broadswords at that point, and Mai had picked up a few throwing knives, so sometimes she would throw them at me and I'd have to deflect them."

"Me and Katara used to go out and feed otter penguins. During spring, they come a lot closer, and there's always so many of them. One time, Katara actually got one to follow us back, Gran Gran was so mad. We had to do double chores for, like, a month." Sokka smiled as he talked, his eyes faraway, like he was still in the memory he was recounting.

Zuko had begun to understand the difference between how he'd been raised compared to Sokka and Katara, or even Aang. They were much more carefree, even with the stress of traveling with or as the Avatar and facing a strange amount of trouble on the daily. It was something Zuko could only wish to have, though he'd never say it out loud; he'd long ago acknowledged that he'd a strange case of too-aware and completely oblivious to most things for the rest of his life. It made surviving alone—excusing the dragon—easier, though it would never be without it's struggles, and consistent interaction with anything that wasn't Druk difficult.

Some part of him, no matter how much he told himself it was fine, that Sokka and Katara could've gotten into serious trouble.

If Zuko had brought any sort of wild animal—especially the kind that he was beginning to understand otter penguins were—back to the palace, he would've been sent out right along with it.

"Did you name it?" He asked instead of voicing any of his thoughts. Zuko didn't want to linger on anything that had happened before now. The sun was warm, and Sokka smiled just as brightly, and he was tired of worrying.

"Katara wanted to name it Rako, but I convinced her to let us call it Fuzzy, the Cuttle perch Captain because that was all she'd eat. That was also how Gran Gran found us."

Zuko smiled despite himself. "How old were you? Young?"

Sokka waved him off. "That was a couple months before we left with Aang." His expression turned thoughtful. "Maybe that's why Gran Gran let us leave."

"So you're just bad with names?" Zuko asked.

Sokka crossed his arms. "Fuzzy, the Cuttle perch Captain is a great name, thank you. I'm telling her what you said when we get back to the tribe."

Zuko laughed. He felt almost giddy with it, lighter than he'd felt in years. It was nice, talking about nothing with somehow. Zuko had almost forgotten that feeling.

"What are you two doing?"

Zuko looked up and saw Katara coming towards them, Druk trailing at her side, his bright red scales gleaming in the sun. He rubbed against Zuko's side and yawned, leaning against him heavily as he slid to the ground, his tail shifting in the dirt.

"Do you remember Fuzzy?" Sokka asked, moving over slightly to give Katara room as she sat.

Katara gave him a blank look. "The Cuttle perch Captain?" She sighed.

Sokka smiled. "The very same!"

"Obviously I remember Rako. Why?"

"I was telling Zuko that story, about how mad Gran Gran was when she found her trying to steal all the fish."

Katara leaned around Sokka and raised an eyebrow at Zuko. "That's what you were laughing at? Zuko, you don't have to pretend he's funny, he won't stay mad for long."

Sokka gaped at Katara.

"Where's Aang?" Zuko asked before they could say anything else. Druk bumped his hand with his nose until Zuko relented and scratched the dragon's head. He felt sun-warmed beneath Zuko's hands, pleasant, he was sure, for the both of them.

Katara sighed. "He stayed in the room. Said he wanted a little time to think about what General Fong."

"Do you think he'll agree to what Fong said?" Zuko asked after a moment.

"I'm not sure," She said slowly, her eyes downcast. "I think what Fong said is really getting to him."

Sokka spoke when they were both silent. "He's kind of right, though, isn't he. People are getting hurt every day fighting the Fire Nation. Maybe he could do something by finding out how to control the Avatar State."

"Sokka," Katara scolded softly.

"The Avatar State is insane. He used the Ocean Spirit and brought down the whole fleet of ships Zhao brought to the north. He nearly took out half of the Southern Air Temple with it after we first started traveling with him. It's powerful, so maybe, even if he can't fight the Fire Lord with it, he can do something about the rest of his army," He continued, sitting up slightly.

"Avatar Roku told us what he had to do, and it wasn't rushing to fight in the Avatar State. We still have a plan, and we can't let Fong change that just because he thinks he knows better," Katara said, her hands clenched in her lap.

"He kinda' does know better," Sokka said carefully, and then stopped Katara when she opened her mouth to argue. "I'm not saying that he's right! But he's a general. If anyone knows what they're doing, it's gotta' be him."

"Allowing that much power into the hands of an impatient man is a one-way road to disaster. Aang doesn't know how to control the Avatar State, he said that himself. If you were to begin trying to work with the Avatar State, it shouldn't be with Fong," Zuko said, his hand going still on Druk. The dragon didn't seem to notice, had fallen asleep with his head resting on Zuko's leg almost as soon as he'd laid down.

For a moment, they were all quiet. Then, Sokka spoke. "How do you control your blessing?"

"For the most part, breathing." Zuko narrowed his eyes, suspicious. "Why?"

"It seems like the Avatar State and- What do we call that?"

"Call what?" Zuko asked.

Katara sat up straight, an excited look on her face. "Spirit State! 'Cause it's a spirit blessing-"

"-And he's the Blue Spirit!" Sokka finished. They both smiled and looked at Zuko.

"Okay, so your Spirit State and Aang's Avatar State—" Sokka started talking again.

"We're not calling it the Spirit State!" Zuko said. Sokka ignored him.

"—Seem to work the same way, you think? They're both caused by strong bursts of emotions and you go into an almost lucid state while in them, right?" Sokka looked to him for confirmation.

"It's- A little different. But the same in theory," Zuko sighed.

Sokka nodded slowly. "What if you worked with him on the Avatar State while also teaching him firebending?"

"No," Zuko said instantly.

Katara frowned. "Why not?"

"I don't know a thing about the Avatar State, and apparently Aang doesn't know all that much either. I can barely control the blessing without having to worry about someone else's, and regardless of how they're alike, they're still completely different things."

"But Aang needs to learn how to use the Avatar State even if he doesn't use it right now," Katara said. After a moment, she frowned. "It's terrible to see him so upset like that. If he can figure out how to control it, it'd be better for him."

Zuko frowned and stared down at his hands. He didn't know near enough to consider trying to teach Aang how to control the Avatar State. He could barely manage his own, clearly.

"The blessing and the Avatar State aren't alike, even if they can be funneled using the same methods," Zuko said after a moment.

Sokka leaned forward. "Will you tell us what it is, then?"

Zuko exhaled heavily. "I don't know what it is. I don't know what I'm doing, I just know what works. I nearly died three separate times when I first started trying to channel it with the Sun Warriors."

"That reminds me. I should look at your back," Katara said, already standing up.

Zuko pulled his shirt over his head with a sigh, biting back a wince when she pulled the bandages away from the wounds. The blessing was making quick work of trying to heal them, but there had been enough lashes that his entire back was still sore, the skin sensitive.

He stared down at the red material in his hand instead of focusing on the feeling of Katara's water-covered hands stung his skin. It was the same shirt Uncle had given him on Zhao's ship. Once it had been washed, it was practically good as new. Zuko hadn't been able to reason doing anything else with it, even after he'd been offered some other clothes in Water Tribe colors; it was nice, expensive materials that Zuko, once his mind had cleared a little, had been surprised to know where on a ship to begin with. It was light, too, which would be nice when the Earth Kingdom started to warm with spring.

A small voice in the back of his mind that sounded a little like Azula—a voice he had been trying to ignore—said the real reason he hadn't thrown it out was because that would mean he was scared of a piece of fabric. It would only show how weak he really was.

Zuko didn't realize he'd gotten lost in thought until Katara's voice was pulling him out.

"Sokka had a crush on you when we first got to the Earth Kingdom. Or, well, on the Blue Spirit."

"Katara!" Sokka shouted, waking Druk. The dragon shifted and rolled over, huffing at the boy before falling back asleep.

"Did you?" Zuko asked, looking at Sokka.

The boy's eyes were wide, his face flushed slightly. "No, I didn't! Why would you say that?" He looked up at Katara.

Katara's hands stopped moving on his back. "Yes, you did! You grabbed one of the wanted posters we passed after Kyoshi Island when you thought we weren't looking and asked about him at every town we stopped in!"

"I did that so I could make sure we didn't accidentally run into him! We didn't know what kind of person was behind the mask! No offense, Zuko." Sokka spoke quickly, his hands making sharp gestures through the air like it would emphasize his words.

"It's fine."

"You were obsessed." The smile on Katara's face was obvious in her voice. Slowly, her hands kept moving across his back, a slight sting against his skin until it felt numb.

"No, I wasn't. Would you stop." It didn't quite sound like a question. Zuko looked back up at Sokka and saw his hands clenched into tight fists in his lap.

Zuko tried to think of something to say and found his mouth strangely dry. His could hear his heartbeat and felt his ears flush with warmth. It was strange, and unfamiliar.

He tried not to dwell on it, or the furious pounding of his heart against his ribcage. He was fine. Why was this happening? Was something going on with Katara's healing? Zuko straightened as soon as her hands moved away.

"Are you done?" He asked, already standing.

Katara was frowning when he turned to look at her. "Yeah, but- It didn't really do anything. I still can't heal them."

She hadn't been able to, since the blessing had begun mending them back together.

"It doesn't matter. It helps with the pain, anyway," He lied and walked away, trying to swallow his disappointment.

That's what the feeling had been. Disappointment. His wounds hurt, not matter how much he didn't want to admit it, and he'd been hoping that Katara trying to heal them would help, but it wasn't. If anything, it just made them hurt more, every injured part of his back aching as it stopped stinging.

Nevermind that the feeling had come before she'd finished healing. Zuko didn't want to think about what that meant.

Aang was the last one to return to their shared room that night, his face drawn in thought as he came in.

He sat on his bed and looked up at Katara.

"I told Fong I'd help him," He said, voice quiet despite how every sound seemed to echo off the stone walls around them.

Katara's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Did you really?" She asked, and frowned when Aang was silent. "Aang, you can't! There's a right way to do this, and it's not like that!"

Sokka sat up from where he'd been laying down, pulling Momo down into his lap. "Maybe the general is seeing something we aren't. Maybe he can take on the Fire Lord now."

"No." Zuko rolled over from where he'd been laying in his bed and glared at them both, his chest cramped for just a moment. "Whatever you think you're learning with Fong, you can't face the Fire Lord."

Aang looked at him, silent for a long moment. Finally, he spoke. "You don't think I can do it?" His voice was small.

Zuko's first instinct was to snap. Aang was making the wrong decision, but Zuko didn't want to be angry with him.

"You can't face the Fire Lord. Not yet. Especially not if you're relying on the Avatar State to do it for you."

Aang's hands clenched into fists. His breathing came a little ragged.

Katara put a careful hand on his shoulder. "The Avatar State isn't something to just play with. We should figure out another way."

"I took out that entire fleet of ships! I killed all those people! Fire Nation soldiers! Why can't I do this?" Aang shouted suddenly. His voice carried around the room, leaving them in tense silence when it was done.

"If you tried to fight the Fire Lord, he'd kill you. Or torture you, or whatever else he wants you for. You're the Avatar. The one thing standing between him and his war. You go to him now, acting like you can fight him, and he probably won't even bother fighting you himself," Zuko finally snapped. He clenched his hands into the blanket beneath him and forced himself to breathe slower.

"But if he's glowing it up on him, then-" Sokka started, but Aang interrupted.

"Why aren't I ready? I'm tired of waiting and letting people down! How do you know I can't fight him?" Aang shouted, his voice hoarse with emotion. His eyes were teary, his lip trembling slightly as he spoke.

Zuko stood up and forced himself to stay still. He wouldn't run. "How do I know? Probably the last person stupid enough to face the Fire Lord in a fight was me. You can't win. He won't go easy on you just 'cause you're a kid. He doesn't care. You're the last thing in his way of ruling over the entire world. He might not take you seriously, but he won't take any chances."

Aang was silent for a moment. He sniffled, and wiped at his eyes. "I'm sorry," He said, quiet enough that Zuko could barely hear him. For all that he'd tried to control his temper, the strain it took to hear the boy only seemed to make him angrier. "I didn't think about it like that."

Zuko sat down and clenched his jaw shut. He wasn't going to run out again. He'd make things sure things went right. He wouldn't run.

"It doesn't matter. If you think this is best, you should do it." Arguing would only make things worse. They'd argued like this before, and Zuko wasn't eager to replicate the moment. He'd almost left then, and now he wanted nothing more than to stay. So he wouldn't argue.

Zuko turned over in his bed and faced the wall, ignoring the rest of the conversation. He wasn't involved. He'd already made his point, aggressively so, and now he didn't want to think about it anymore.

Uncle had always made a point to let them come to their own decisions for as long as Zuko could remember. The details were hazy—a night spent outside too long, going just slightly too far into the water on Ember Island, too much dessert after dinner—but Zuko knew that Uncle had always wanted them to make the decisions they wanted to and then been there to help them after. It had been apart of his "learn from your mistakes" mentality.

Zuko could understand it, too, which was perhaps the worst part; he could understand that if you'd never learn for yourself if all you ever did was listen. It made sense.

But Zuko couldn't understand how Uncle had managed to do it for so many years. Zuko was trying it now and thought he might go crazy after just one argument.

It seemed like no matter how many reasons he gave not to, how much he tried to emphasize the idea was one he thought should be considered with more care, there wasn't a point in arguing; no one would listen anyway. Zuko thought maybe he'd been arguing the same way his entire life. He was so tired of arguing, or running, or worrying and looking over his shoulder. He'd grown exhausted on Zhao's ship, but Zuko thought maybe he'd been tired for much longer.

Rest of any sort evaded him, though, even after Katara slipped back into the room some time later and everyone settled into their beds, trying to sleep.

The night stretched impossibly long it seemed, the walls stifling and the sounds of breaths slowly collecting around the walls until eventually Zuko stood up and walked out, going as quietly as he could.

Zuko wasn't brave. Not in the ways that mattered. He could fight as many people as necessary to get what he wanted, a selfish drive sometimes the only thing that had kept him moving. But when it had come to fighting his father because a general had been wrong, unjustified, Zuko had been too cowardly to stand and face him.

Maybe it was the cowardly thing to do, to slip out of the mess he'd created and try and hide from it all.

He saw the moon in flashes as he passed windows and thought maybe it was trying to convey judgment. He stopped in front of one window and glared out at the moon.

"I don't want to hear it right now," Zuko whispered furiously. "You're the moon now. You probably never even had to deal with something like this to begin with."

Was he imagining the way it looked a little dimmer now?

"Hate to break it to you, buddy, but you're not the only one having a tough time right now."

Zuko turned and glared at Sokka. "I know that! I didn't even say anything like that!" He snapped and turned, continuing down the hall.

"Okay, just making sure," Sokka said when he caught up to Zuko.

Zuko glanced at him from the corner of his eye. The boy hadn't bothered putting his hair up when he'd left bed to pursue Zuko; it framed his face oddly, though Zuko thought that was mostly due to the fact that he was more used to seeing him with his hair up than not. It made his features a little softer, made him look a little older.

His lungs fluttered uncomfortably in his chest and Zuko glared at Sokka again before ducking into the first room they passed that wasn't locked. It was a closet with barely enough room to fit the different weapon chests and armory that were stuffed inside, let alone the two boys. Zuko pushed himself between a chest and wardrobe and tucked his head behind his arms, hoping Sokka hadn't seen him slip away, or wouldn't notice him in here.

"Your hair glows a little when you're upset, too."

"Go away!"

Zuko could hear Sokka pushing his way towards Zuko and sitting with a sigh.

"I'm gonna' be honest, I didn't expect to have to have to treat you the same way I do Katara when she's feeling emotional," He said after a moment.

"Don't bother, then. Go away and neither of us have to deal with it," Zuko scowled, closing his eyes.

Sokka sighed. "Katara always told me to go away, too, when we'd fight. A couple times I did, and we'd give each other the silent treatment for days. Eventually Gran Gran would make us talk and we'd start yelling again and then we'd actually talk. Most of the time, both of us were just too angry at the time to get what the other was trying to say. Sometimes Katara would get mad at me for something I said, and I'd apologize."

"I'm not fighting with anyone. You followed me."

"Funny, the last couple of times I followed you out after everyone else was asleep, you were always upset, and sometimes trying to leave."

Zuko huffed and pulled his knees closer to his chest. "I don't want to leave," He mumbled.

"Come again?"

He pulled his head up and glared at Sokka. "I don't want to leave," He said, louder than necessary.

Sokka gave him a flat look. Zuko huffed and turned away.

"I'm not going anywhere. You can go now."

"I could stay here with you, though."

"Why? Didn't you just say you didn't want to deal with this?" Zuko snapped, turning to look at Sokka again. He was sitting in a patch of weak moonlight coming through the window, his arms propped up on his knees and dangling towards Zuko; he had the strange and sudden urge to reach out and grab Sokka's hand. To hold it the same way he had the morning before.

Zuko looked away, heat blooming beneath his skin.

When he spoke, Sokka's voice was quiet. "Zuko, you might be a difficult person to get along with, but we like you anyway. We're not always going to agree on everything, and we might fight sometimes, but we'll always have each other, no matter what."

"You don't have to have me. I'm fine alone. I can handle it."

For a long moment, Sokka was quiet. The room was silent, only the sound of their breathing stirring the air around them. The quiet made Zuko tense. His mind zeroed in on the distance between him and Sokka, suddenly hyper-aware of the boy across from him.

Finally, he spoke. "Aang's always had a rough time trying to figure out how to be the Avatar. When we first met him, we didn't even know he was the Avatar 'cause he didn't want to be. That's why he didn't die with the rest of the airbenders. They started treating him differently since he was the Avatar, and he ran away the night Sozin attacked.

"He's still just a kid, at the end of the day. He's got too many emotions and he doesn't really know what he's feeling half the time. He doesn't want more people to get hurt because he wasn't there in time. I think maybe he's trying to make up for lost time."

"Uncle always thought we should make our own decisions so we could learn from our mistakes. But I don't know how he did it. How he let us do things knowing it was a bad idea."

"Well," Sokka hummed thoughtfully. "You're uncle's older than you, for one. He's had a lot more time to try and deal with kids before. He had his own, didn't he? A son?"

"Yes. Lu Ten, my cousin," Zuko mumbled.

"Right, well, Iroh had a lot of time to figure out what worked best, probably. You were in a palace, though. Not out trying to save the world with a twelve year old Avatar. And, you don't have to feel responsible for Aang. Just because they aren't very good doesn't mean he can't make his own decision."

Zuko pulled his knees closer to his chest, focusing on Sokka's hands instead of having to look the boy in the eyes.

"If he tried to fight my father," He whispered. "He wouldn't stand a chance. Being killed would be a mercy."

Sokka leaned forward slightly, putting a hand on his shoulder for a second. "We're not trying to fight the Fire Lord yet."

"Fong wants him to."

"We'll leave before Fong can get that far. We aren't going to fight your dad, we'll be okay," Sokka said, his voice soft.

Zuko shrugged him off and pushed himself further into the wall. "You don't get it," He breathed out around the slight pinch in his chest.

"Explain it to me. I'm pretty smart, y'know." Sokka smiled, sitting back slightly. He leaned heavily on a chest beside him, watching Zuko with wide eyes despite the lack of sleep either of them were getting.

Zuko didn't get it either, though. His thoughts were wild and unforgiving. He was tired just from trying to sort them out already. His chest ached like a fire had started between his ribs.

"We have to fight him at some point," He wheezed. Zuko's bones screamed with the agony of holding on to the blessing. It had all been different, since the night the Moon Spirit had been killed. He wasn't sure how to control it anymore, when it became too difficult to breathe.

"We have to fight him," Zuko said. "We don't have a lot of time. Just until the summer. What if we can't beat him?"

He looked up at Sokka. "I don't know if I can face him again without one of us dying this time."

The truth flowed from his lips freely, in the air before Zuko could overthink the honesty; he'd wanted to be honest, but this was almost too much. Zuko had gotten too familiar with companionship.

And then, traitorously, Zuko felt a tear slide down his face.

Sokka stared at him for a moment, like he was in a trance, before slowly leaning forward and swiping his thumb across Zuko's face. It came back gleaming a faint gold, before seeping into his clothes like water when he wiped it on his pants leg.

He looked back at Zuko, still just as close. "You won't be alone this time. I promise."

The pain in Zuko's chest released slowly. His thoughts turned sluggish, exhaustion pulling at his bones. Zuko didn't want to leave though, didn't want to break the fragile bubble that had settled over them. Would it always be safe like this? When had "Sokka" and "safe" begun to mean the same things? Zuko wasn't sure if it was a good thing.

Relying on people was dangerous. Trusting them enough to get this close was even worse. Yet somehow, they both sat here, cramped into a small space with barely any space between them, and Zuko found he didn't mind that much.

(Zuko didn't mind at all. He was quickly realizing he enjoyed this feeling, being close and warmed by something that wasn't firebending. He didn't want it to stop.)

He stood up and pulled Sokka up with him. "We should try and sleep. I need to talk to Aang in the morning."

"Are you going to try and convince him not to do it?" Sokka asked as they walked.

Zuko frowned. "I'm not sure. You think he should try?"

Sokka raised his hands in surrender. "Both of you are better at spirit stuff than me. But maybe it'd be good for Aang to be able to practice with this part of himself. It's there, whether anyone wants to acknowledge it or not."

"Katara doesn't think he should. Why don't you agree?"

Sokka's eyebrows furrowed, his fingers going to his chin as he thought.

"The Fire Nation killed my mom when we were young. My dad left a couple years later to go fight them. Our family's never really been the same, once they raided the tribe. Katara and Dad shut down, so I tried to take over whatever work I could to help. And then he left, and I really had to take over. We both hated the Fire Nation. Sometimes I still do. I don't know the whole reason Katara doesn't want Aang to do it, but I know that's why I want him to do it. I don't want them to hurt anyone else."

"That makes sense," Zuko mumbled, mostly to himself, before looking up at Sokka. "I'm sorry about what happened to your mother. Katara mentioned it to me, back at the Northern Air Temple, but I'm still sorry."

Sokka shrugged, for once not pretending like something wasn't affecting him. "It's not your fault. And you had it pretty rough, too."

"That doesn't make it any easier, though. If you ever wanted to talk, I'll be here to listen."

After a moment, Sokka smiled. "Thanks, buddy. It goes both ways, too; whatever you want to talk about, I'll be here."

Heat bloomed in Zuko's chest, vicious and swift as it spread through his limbs, making him feel a light-headed. It was different from the blessing, or even his Inner Flame.

Sokka bumped him in the shoulder with his own before pulling back slightly. He laughed loudly as they walked.

"Hush, Sokka!" Zuko huffed, covering his mouth with a hand and pulling them to a stop until the boy seemed to recover.

"Spirits, Zuko!" He wheezed, nearly double-over with laughter. "We could cook an egg over your head!"

Zuko shoved him away with a huff. "Shut up!"

Sokka put an arm around his shoulder, pulling him close. "You're gonna' figure this whole friend thing out, don't worry," He hummed, a smile still obvious in his tone.

Zuko scowled but said nothing.

Zuko didn't speak with Aang the next morning about Fong, despite the looks Sokka kept giving him. Once more, he found he didn't know what to say to the boy. He didn't want to argue again, but Zuko still thought working with Fong on something so volatile was a bad idea. So he stayed quiet as they accompanied Aang to all the different training and rituals Fong had set in place to try and trigger the state.

They tried for several days with no results, except for getting covered in mud at one point and watching Aang glide around on his air scooter babbling about, "Is it working? I don't feel a thing!"

Zuko reached over and grabbed the cup of tea Aang had been given, sniffing at the dregs. It was strong smelling, and unfamiliar. Spiced, if Zuko had to guess, with ginger and some sort of mint standing out the most.

"Smells like something Uncle would like," He mumbled, putting it back on the table.

Katara frowned slightly. "Is that a good thing?" She asked slowly.

The smell of the tea hit him a second time like a punch. Zuko pushed the cup a little further away. "He shouldn't have drank that whole thing."

As the week came to an end, Fong seemed to be running out of ideas.

"We'll take a break for the rest of the day, how 'bout?" Katara said when Fong was quiet.

"We'll come back tomorrow when you can come up with something else," Zuko said, watching Fong for just a moment before turning away and following them out of the room.

"Do you want to do something while we've got free time, Aang?" Sokka asked as they walked back to their room.

Despite the lack of progress with the Avatar State, Aang was smiling as they walked. He was quiet for most of the walk back to their room, his face drawn in thought. Finally, as they pushed through the door, he answered.

"Maybe we could just hang out tonight. It's been a while since we did that all together."

Zuko sat on his bed. "Have we ever done that?"

"Of course we did!" Aang said as he sat on the floor, scratching Momo between his ears. "We hung out in Makapu a lot. And we hang out when we make camp. This time though, we've got time to spare."

"Right. How could I forget," Zuko sighed. Druk stretched out on the bed beside him, taking up the majority of the room as he drifted to sleep.

Katara sat beside Aang and smiled. "I think it's a good idea, Aang. We haven't had much down time recently."

"Couldn't this whole training thing with the general be considered down time?" Sokka sighed, laying on his bed. He pulled his boomerang out and ran a finger along the edge, a contemplative expression crossing his face.

Aang crossed his arms. "No, it's training."

"Seems like nonsense," Zuko huffed.

"Just 'cause there aren't results doesn't mean it isn't working. Maybe it just needs a little more time," Aang said, frowning slightly.

"Maybe Fong doesn't really know what he's talking about," Sokka offered, sitting up and putting his boomerang away.

"I thought," Katara cut in before anyone could say anything else, her arms crossed. "That we were supposed to be having fun. This doesn't sound like fun to me."

Sokka sighed and joined the two on the floor. "Once, I got a fishhook stuck in my shirt while I was fishing and tripped into the water and nearly drowned."

"That wasn't funny," Katara said instantly. "It was scary."

"One time I was sneaking a toy Azula had hidden in her room and fell down a set of stairs. Got a pretty bad concussion, the healers said I was lucky I didn't break anything," Zuko said without looking up from Druk.

"None of that is funny, you both could've been seriously hurt," Katara huffed.

"It was a little funny," Zuko said at the same time Sokka said, "I laughed when it was over."

"Dad was livid, though," Sokka added, smiling. "He'd already told me not to go fishing by myself since I wasn't very good at telling where the ice would be weak at, but I snuck out anyway because he was helping Gran Gran and Katara with something and I didn't want to wait any longer than I already had."

"Azula was so mad when she found out I'd taken the toy, she snuck into my room for a month and kept setting my blankets on fire. That wasn't very funny, but I kinda' deserved it."

Katara scowled. "Are all Fire Nation kids jerks, or was it just you and your sister?" She asked. Zuko could see her trying to fight a smile.

"I don't know. It was probably everybody. Miserable place sometimes," Zuko said with a shrug.

"Great," Sokka said dryly. "Just a bunch of little jerkbenders running around and some of them have fire."

Zuko looked over at the boy. "Jerkbenders?"

"One time me and Appa crashed into a three full of pollen and flew over the airball court and messed up the game," Aang said, smiling slightly.

"Aang, that's awful," Katara said, fully smiling by now. "How did you even fly straight? Surely you and Appa were being affected by it."

Aang spoke over Sokka's loud laughter. "It was Appa, mostly. I was sneezing too much to be able to do much, and the pollen doesn't affect sky bison the same way it does us. Every time he'd sneeze, though, some more would fall off of him."

"What's airball?" Zuko asked.

"It's an airbender game! You stand up on these tall platforms and try and get a ball in the goal! It's really fun," Aang said, scaring Momo as he moved his arms around excitedly.

Zuko hummed. "Sounds fun."

"It is! Maybe we can play it one day."

"Do they have any games like that in the Fire Nation?" Katara asked, leaning around Aang to look at Zuko.

He shrugged. "None that I know of. Maybe there's some outside of the capital city, but I never played any. I think mostly, the Fire Nation enjoys theater."

"Really?"

"Yeah. My mother really liked theater. She had a bunch of masks of a bunch of different plays that she'd let me and Azula play with sometimes. She'd read to me at night, would always do voices to go along with the characters."

Katara nodded slowly, her face thoughtful. "I think you've mentioned that before."

"Did you have a favorite play your mother read?" Aang asked.

"Love Amongst the Dragons. It's where the Blue Spirit mask comes from, but it's called the Dark Water Spirit in the play." Zuko sat up, moving Druk's head out of his lap and onto the bed, though the dragon didn't seem to notice.

"Why are you called the Blue Spirit, then?" Sokka asked.

"I don't know. Do you think I just went around telling people that some weirdo was going around and that we should call him the Blue Spirit? I didn't even know who it was when I first heard about it!" Zuko scoffed and crossed his arms.

Aang smiled at him. "You're not a weirdo, Zuko."

"Thanks, Aang," Zuko sighed.

They went well into the evening like that, talking back and forth about anything at all. Close to midnight, the conversation had slowed down.

Katara looked up at Aang. "Do you remember when we were in the Southern Air Temple and you found Monk Gyatso's skeleton?" She asked quietly.

Aang looked down at Momo; the lemur had fallen asleep long ago curled in the boys lap. After a moment, Aang nodded.

"Seeing that must've been so terrible. We watched you get so upset that you weren't you anymore." Katara looked down at her hands. "I know the Avatar State is a part of who you are. But seeing you like that is really scary for the people that love you. Maybe it's better used to help people instead of hurting them."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Katara," Aang mumbled. "But this is something I have to do. I'm one hundred years late already. The Fire Lord has to be stopped. This is the beginning of that."

Katara's face went blank. "I can't watch you do this. I'm not going with you tomorrow."

She stood up and went to her bed, turning towards the wall and staying completely silent as the rest of them slowly stood and got ready for bed.

Zuko woke well before dawn. Really, he hadn't slept that much to begin with.

His nightmares had become more flashes of warped reality or terrible scenarios he'd created himself than anything real. In the dreams he could remember, he would see Azula in front of their father, younger than she'd been the last time he'd seen her, begging for his mercy. Or sometimes, she'd fight him. Every time, he watched, cuffed still to his chair beneath Zhao's ship, watching and unable to move, unable to try and make them stop. The muzzle was fixed around his face, his entire body ached with every injury he'd taken, and his lungs screamed for air, his nose and mouth full of his own blood.

Sometimes he'd see one of his friends beneath Zhao's ship. Their blood stained the metal beneath them, the wood of the chair soaked through with a terrible mix of water and blood and sick. They'd stare back at him and Zuko would be unable to move.

Most of the time they were begging him. "Please," They'd say. "Please, Zuko, make it stop. Get me out of here. I don't belong here." Zuko wouldn't be able to reach out and help no matter how much he tried. He'd watch over and over as they were taken to the brink of death and then forced to live through it.

Zuko didn't often remember his dreams, but these he did. These, he couldn't make leave his head no matter how much he tried.

They lingered the same way Shu's words did, like the physical wounds still healing on his skin.

He woke up every morning with his mind slipping by him and he had no way to stop it.

I'm not real. Prince Zuko doesn't exist. I'm a weapon.

I serve Admiral Zhao. I'm his weapon.

I don't exist. I'm not real.

They clung to him until he dug his nails into his skin and pulled himself forcefully back to himself.

His mother had told him to never forget who he was. Zuko hoped, desperately, that he wouldn't.

It wasn't long until dawn. Then he'd go with Aang to see whatever the general had planned next. He'd crawled back to Agna Qel'a in worse conditions. Sleep had been the least of his worries for several years now.

Druk shifted on the bed beside him, yawning as he sat up and looked at Zuko, whining.

"It's okay, Druk. We're okay," Zuko murmured, scratching the dragons chin before lowering himself back onto the bed. There was no chance of sleeping again, but he could enjoy the comfort of this before they got up to start their day again.

Druk huffed slightly and pressed his face against Zuko's, his nose lingering near Zuko's scar before he settled with his head on his shoulder.

The dragon was nearly big enough to take up the whole bed for himself, big enough he curled his tail around himself when he slept instead of stretching out like Zuko knew he preferred. Yet, he still insisted on sleeping next to Zuko like he'd always done. It was better than the dragon still attempting to ride on his shoulders, though, so Zuko would accept the lack of room while he slept.

(He missed when the dragon was small enough to sit comfortably on his shoulders more than he thought he would. Zuko thought maybe Druk did too, if the mood the dragon had been in ever since was anything to go by.)

Just before dawn, Zuko heard Aang shifting in his bed before sitting up. He looked around the room for a moment before turning to Sokka.

"Sokka. Sokka, wake up," He whispered, though it did little of its intended purpose. Druk shifted and hissed lightly, turning over to look at the boy.

Sokka shifted to, turning over to look at Aang and yawning. "Is something-" He yawned again, "-wrong?"

Aang frowned. "I don't think we should keep trying to access the Avatar State," He confessed, quieter than before.

Sokka hummed and then turned again until he was laying on his back. "Okay," He said, his voice slurred with sleep. "If that's what you think."

For a moment, they were quiet. Then, Aang spoke again. "Do you think anyone will be mad?"

"Maybe. Who cares? You're the Avatar. What's he gonna' do?" Sokka yawned and his eyes slipped closed. Aang watched him for a moment before returning to his bed and curling up beneath his blanket.

Zuko watched them for a moment before turning over.

As it turns out, Fong cared a lot, and was willing to attack Aang to prove his point.

Zuko struggled in the hold of the soldiers as Fong marched passed to the hole he'd created in the wall of the fortress.

"Men!" He shouted, his voice carrying over the courtyard below. "Attack the Avatar!"

Zuko snapped his head back and caught the solider in the nose, ripping his arms free while they were shocked. He drew his swords and swiped at one of the soldiers holding Sokka. They pulled away just in time to avoid being cut, and Sokka wrenched himself free from the other, kicking him in the knee.

Sokka grabbed Zuko's arm and pulled him away. "We need to hurry!"

When they reached the courtyard of the fortress, Fong and his soldiers were tearing of large chunks of earth at a time, throwing them at Aang as the boy dived out of the way of the attacks.

A large burst of fire came down over the courtyard a moment later, driving the earthbenders away from Aang for a moment. Druk circled overhead, stirring the dust on the ground as he started to land.

"Druk!" Zuko called the dragon over before he could land. "Get close to Aang!"

The dragon landed beside the boy with a screeching roar, his pale underbelly glowing from the fire. Zuko took only a moment to acknowledge that Druk was finally finding his voice before he forced himself to move.

He held his swords a little tighter in his hands before running towards where he saw Fong standing across the courtyard. Zuko slid under a chunk of rock coming his way and swung at a bigger piece with his swords, breaking it into smaller pieces. He ducked before a spear could catch his chest and turned, cutting through the wood with one sword and cutting the soldiers leg with the other.

The ground rippled beneath him and Zuko jumped back in time to avoid being thrown backwards, blocking an attack and dodging to the side in time to cut a long line into the soldiers side. He managed to avoid the next several attacks, including one from Druk that barreled past him fast enough to whisk his breath away, and was close enough to see the man's attention go to him for a moment before going past him. Zuko didn't turn around to see what Fong saw, pushing through the rest of the soldiers until he was on the man.

Fong shifted into an earthbending stance, and Zuko dodged to the side as a large chunk of stone flew past his head before coming up behind the man, kicking the back of his legs and holding his swords to Fong's neck.

"Call off your men," He demanded, breathing heavily.

"You might have been able to avoid me, but they couldn't," The general said, panting slightly as he spoke.

Zuko looked up. The fighting had halted, leaving Katara in the middle of the courtyard, buried in the ground up to her knees. Beside her, Sokka was sinking into the ground as well. Neither Aang nor Druk were anywhere to be seen.

"Let them go!" Zuko snapped, pressing the swords a little closer to his throat.

"You won't kill me," Fong taunted.

Zuko looked up and saw Druk fly over the crowd, holding Aang in his hands. The boy dropped to the ground between Fong and the two siblings. After a moment, he walked towards the two, only to be stopped by a wall of earth to come up between them.

Aang looked at Fong. "Let them go, please," He begged.

Fong shifted slightly. Zuko pressed the very edge of the blade against his neck. The general spoke loudly despite the swords. "If you were in the Avatar State, you could save them."

"I can't, please." Aang said, moving carefully towards the general.

"I don't see any glowing," He growled.

Druk landed on the ground and breathed fire into the crowd, pushing them back several steps and causing the earth to fall back into place. Now Sokka and Katara were buried up to their necks.

"Let them go, or he'll kill your men," Zuko threatened, hearing Druk roar as he lifted into the air again, flying towards Aang. The ground behind Katara and Sokka was scorched, the black ground stark against the stone of the fortress. Smoke drifted through the air, swirling and mixing with the disturbed dust.

Aang stopped not far from the man. "You don't have to do this," He said, panting.

"It seems I do."

The ground shifted around the two siblings. "Aang!" Katara called just before her head slipped beneath the surface.

Aang watched the ground they'd disappeared into for a moment, breathing heavily. After a moment, he turned to look at Fong, his eyes and tattoos glowing a blinding light.

Wind swirled around him, carrying dust and debris into the air as Aang rose along with it.

Zuko withdrew his swords and turned away from Fong, looking at the soldiers watching Aang, then at Aang himself. He was unrecognizable from here, his face contorted in fury, leaving him looking older. Zuko glared at the general and pointed a sword at him.

"Get them back, now!" He snapped.

Fong stood up and cupped his hands around his mouth. "Avatar Aang! Your friends are safe! My hypothesis was correct!" He shouted, his voice carrying around the courtyard before it was swept away in the current of air whipping wildly around Aang.

The ground opened up beside Fong and spit Sokka and Katara out. Zuko pushed Fong away, a much easier task given how distracted he was over Aang, and crouched beside the two.

They were both breathing heavily, their complexion pale as their eyes focused first on the ground and then on Zuko.

"Zuko," Sokka breathed, his voice weak as he rose shakily to his feet, bracing himself on Zuko's shoulder.

Zuko offered Katara a hand and she took it for a moment, her eyes already searching over his shoulder. "Where's Aang?" She asked slowly.

The ground rippled beneath them in waves, and Zuko looked up in time to see Fong fly past them. Katara was already moving towards the center of the courtyard, moving quickly despite having just been spit out of the earth.

Zuko turned towards Fong and drew his swords. Sokka caught his shoulder before he could leave.

"Don't, Zuko."

Zuko pulled his shoulder out of Sokka's grip and stalked towards the man. He'd hit a wall and was recovering slowly, though he was grinning like a madman. Zuko put his sword against the man's neck before he could stand fully, his head tilted back to avoid the blade.

"Release me," The general demanded, a scowl replacing his smile for a moment.

"I should kill you now," Zuko snarled, leaning into the blade slightly. Fong winced slightly.

There was a hand on his shoulder. "Zuko, don't kill him." It was Sokka, his voice quieter than it had been a moment ago. He sounded hoarse, his voice straining as he spoke.

"Why?" Zuko snapped, glaring at the boy from the corner of his eye. Sokka stared steadily back at him.

"It won't make you feel any better. Not now. Not like this."

Zuko glared down at the general for a moment longer before pulling his sword back, sheathing it quick enough that he was lucky he hadn't cut himself.

Slowly, Fong stood and walked past him, keeping a careful eye on him until they had their backs to each other.

Zuko turned to Sokka and tried to glare but could tell from the boy's face that the expression fell flat and settled for a huff that spit out sparks. Sokka watched them, only mildly interested and very unimpressed.

Sokka looked back up at him. "Your scary firebender tactics don't work when I'm the only one you actually talk to."

Zuko frowned. "I talk to Aang and Katara," He huffed and then scowled at Sokka. "Don't act like you know me!" He snapped, crossing his arms.

"Buddy, I do know you. Whether you like it or not," Sokka sighed, putting a hand on Zuko's shoulder.

Zuko scowled. Before he could think better of it, he pulled the other boy into a hug.

It was different from the hug they'd shared in Agna Qel'a. Zuko wasn't going anywhere this time, there was no threat of distance between them now. But Zuko couldn't bring himself to care now. His skin burned with electricity where he touched Sokka, the sound of his heartbeat loud in his ears.

Heat swirled in his chest. Zuko back just as quickly, ignoring the too-blank look on Sokka's face. "Are you okay?" He asked, searching the boy's face for any other sign of injury.

(The strange feeling from the night before was back, and with it, the strangest impulse to not let go of Sokka. Zuko was beginning to hate how he couldn't figure out what this was.)

Sokka smiled. "I'm fine, buddy. Really. Was barely down there."

Zuko nodded slowly. "We should go check on Aang," He mumbled.

A moment later, and Sokka had knocked out Fong with the flat end of us club. He looked at the soldiers as Zuko drew his swords once more. "No problems, right?" He asked, earning several shaking heads.

One stepped forward, bowing slightly in front of Aang and Katara. "Do you still want an escort to Omashu?" He asked.

"I think we're okay," Katara said dryly while Zuko said, "No."

Soon, they were on Appa and flying south.