Chapter Text
Three months later, Peter had gotten used to the fact that knowing someone and being known by them were apparently two completely different things.
Ned knew him now.
Sort of.
Enough to text him sometimes. Enough to invite him places and then act like the invitation hadn’t mattered. Enough to remember things in flashes that neither of them knew what to do with.
MJ was more complicated.
She knew the facts.
She knew Peter Parker had once been her boyfriend. She knew she’d loved him. She knew he’d walked into Peter Pan Donut & Pastry Shop years ago with a letter in his pocket and every intention of telling her the truth, then looked at her behind that counter and decided she was safer without him.
But knowing wasn’t remembering.
Peter had finally stopped trying to force those two things together.
Which was probably why seeing her sitting by the window of a completely different little donut shop in Brooklyn didn’t hurt quite as much as it would’ve a few months ago.
It still made him stop walking.
MJ was sitting alone at a small table with her laptop open, a paper cup beside it and the remains of a donut on a napkin.
She looked up, saw him and then paused.
“Hey.”
Peter smiled. “Hey.”
MJ closed her laptop halfway.
Neither of them moved for a second.
Peter glanced around the shop. Glass cases full of donuts. Counter stools. Coffee machine hissing somewhere behind him.
MJ caught him looking. “What?”
“Nothing.”
His eyes moved toward the pastry case again.
MJ followed them, then she got it. “Oh.”
Peter pointed at her. “Yeah…”
“Donut shop.”
“Different donut shop.”
“I noticed.”
“You don’t work here.”
“I also noticed.”
“And I don’t have a letter.”
MJ’s mouth twitched. “Already going better than last time.”
Peter groaned. “You’re never letting that go, are you?”
“You walked into my job carrying a handwritten emotional manifesto and then didn’t give it to me.”
“I was seventeen.”
“You were dramatic.”
Peter smiled despite himself.
MJ nodded toward the counter. “You getting something?”
“Yeah.”
Peter headed over before she could ask anything else.
MJ picked up her cup again and went back to her laptop.
At the counter, Peter glanced at the menu. “Can I get two coffees?”
MJ looked up.
Peter didn’t notice.
“Both iced,” he added.
From behind him:
“Two?”
Peter turned. MJ was looking at him over the top of her laptop. “Yeah.”
“Did you make a friend?”
Peter stared at her. “I have friends.”
“Okay.”
“You said that like I don’t.”
“I asked if you made a friend.”
“Which implies I didn’t have one before.”
MJ took a sip of her coffee. “That sounds like your interpretation.”
Peter narrowed his eyes. “Ned’s my friend.”
“I know.”
“And Frank.”
That got a tiny pause.
“Sure.”
“He is.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
Peter turned back toward the counter. The employee had just started on the second coffee when the door opened behind him.
“I changed my mind.”
Peter knew the voice immediately.
He closed his eyes.
Not now.
Jean had stepped inside, already looking past him toward the display case. “I don’t want coffee anymore.” Jean pointed toward the glass case. “I want that.”
Peter followed her finger. For half a second, he didn’t answer, because over Jean’s shoulder, he could see MJ looking up from her laptop watching them. He felt his stomach tighten. This was exactly the kind of thing he would’ve preferred to explain before MJ had to see it for herself.
If he’d ever actually planned on explaining it.
Which, apparently, he hadn’t.
“Peter?”
Jean frowned at him.
He realized he’d been staring and hadn’t reacted to a single thing she just said.
“What?”
“The donut.”
“Right.” He looked back at the display case. “Which one?”
“The mint chocolate one.”
“You came all the way inside because you changed your mind about a donut?”
“I was already outside.”
“That is not the point.”
Jean gave him a look.
Peter lowered his voice. “You could’ve texted me.”
Jean frowned. “By the time you saw it, I’d already be in here.”
Peter glanced past her again.
Jean caught it. “Why are you being weird?”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“I’m really not.”
Jean stared at him.
Peter’s eyes flicked toward MJ again before he could stop himself.
Jean followed his gaze, then she understood.
“Oh.”
Peter exhaled through his nose. “Yeah.”
“You didn’t tell me she was here.”
“I didn’t know she was here.”
Jean looked over again.
Peter immediately muttered, “Could you not?”
Her head snapped back toward him. “Could I not what?”
“Keep looking.”
“You keep looking.”
“I know, and now she’s wondering why we keep looking at her.”
Jean frowned. “That sounds like your fault.”
Peter gave her an incredulous look. “How is that my fault?”
“You started acting weird the second I walked in.”
“Because this is weird.”
Jean’s expression changed. “Me being here is weird.”
“That’s not what I-” Peter stopped. He saw MJ closing her laptop from across the shop, it made his stomach drop.
Jean followed his eyes, she saw that MJ was already standing. “You made it weird,” She said quietly.
Peter looked at her. “I made it weird?”
“You kept looking at her.”
“Because you walked in.”
Jean’s expression changed.
Peter heard the sentence after it was already out. “That came out wrong.”
“Did it?”
“Yes.”
MJ was coming toward them.
Peter lowered his voice. “Can we not do this right now?”
Jean gave him a hard look. “You’re the one doing it.”
“I know.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I know.”
“Then why are you acting like-“
“Hi.”
Both of them turned. MJ had stopped several feet away. Peter noticed that immediately.
Her eyes moved from Peter to Jean. Then back to Peter. “Why have you guys looked at me like eight times?”
Peter tried to sound normal. “We haven’t.”
MJ stared at him.
Peter lasted maybe a second. “Okay. We have.”
“Yeah.”
Jean shifted beside him.
MJ’s attention moved to her again. At first there was still something almost amused in her expression. The leftover joke about Peter apparently having made a new friend.
Then she actually looked at Jean.
Red hair.
The face.
Something changed.
Peter watched the recognition arrive slowly.
MJ stopped moving entirely.
Peter’s heart sank. “MJ.”
Her eyes shot to him.
Then back to Jean.
“No.”
Jean’s shoulders tightened.
MJ stared at her.
Peter could almost see her putting the image from Frank’s computer beside the girl standing in front of her.
“That’s…”
She stopped.
MJ looked at Peter. “That’s Jean Grey.”
It wasn’t a question.
Peter swallowed. “Yeah.”
For a few seconds, nobody said anything.
MJ’s eyes stayed fixed on Jean. Jean looked uncomfortable under the attention, but she didn’t look away.
MJ’s voice came out quieter. “You’re Jean.”
“Yes.”
That was all Jean said. Something about the simplicity of it bothered MJ more than she wanted it to.
Peter noticed the change in her expression. “MJ.”
She ignored him. Instead her eyes moved over Jean’s face again. She took one small step backward.
Peter’s chest tightened.
Jean noticed that as well. “I’m not going to do anything.”
MJ looked at her sharply.
Jean immediately seemed to regret speaking.
MJ’s voice was flat. “I didn’t ask.”
“I know.”
“Then don’t.”
Jean’s jaw tightened.
Peter stepped slightly forward. “MJ, she’s not-“
MJ’s head snapped toward him. “Don’t.”
Peter stopped.
“Don’t tell me what she’s not going to do.”
“I wasn’t trying to-“
“You don’t know.”
Jean looked at Peter.
Then MJ.
MJ caught the glance. Her breathing had changed now. Peter knew she was scared, and judging by the way Jean’s expression shifted, Jean knew it too.
MJ’s eyes stayed on Jean. “Are you in my head right now?”
Jean went still. “No.”
MJ didn’t look convinced.
Peter stepped in quietly. “She’s not.”
MJ’s eyes flicked toward him. “You can tell?”
“Yeah.”
Peter glanced at Jean, then back at MJ. “I can feel it when she’s in someone. She’s not doing anything.”
MJ stared at him for a second. Some of the tension left her face, but she still kept her distance from Jean. “So if she tried…”
“I’d know.”
Jean’s jaw tightened at the way they were talking about her, but she didn’t interrupt.
MJ looked back at her. “And you’re not going to.”
Jean held her gaze. “No.”
A beat.
“I’m not touching your mind.”
MJ gave a short laugh.
Jean’s jaw clenched. “I’m telling you the truth.”
Jean had taken her body.
Jean had kissed him with it.
Jean had thrown her body off a building.
And now, for the first time, the person who had done those things was standing three feet away.
“You were inside my body.”
Jean stopped.
MJ’s expression faltered for a second before she forced it back under control. She continued before either of them could speak. “I don’t remember it.”
Jean’s voice was quieter. “I know.”
“I don’t remember you getting into my head.”
“I know.”
“I don’t remember walking around.”
Jean looked down. “I know.”
“I don’t remember kissing him.”
Peter’s eyes dropped to the floor.
Jean didn’t move.
MJ’s voice caught for half a second. “I don’t remember walking off the roof.”
Jean finally looked back at her. MJ’s eyes were wet now, she was not crying, but close enough that it made Peter feel worse.
“And you do.”
Jean swallowed. “Yes.”
MJ stared at her.
Jean’s voice was barely above the noise of the shop. “I’m sorry.”
MJ laughed once. “Okay.”
Jean’s eyebrows pulled together.
Peter knew that look.
Defensive instinct.
“What do you want me to say?”
MJ just stared at her.
Peter felt his stomach drop.
“Jean…”
“What?” Jean snapped, turning on Peter. “She wants me to say something. I’m asking what.”
MJ’s voice cut in, sharp. “You walked my body off a fucking building.”
Jean’s head snapped back toward her. For a second, she had nothing. Her jaw tightened. “I know.”
MJ stared at her.
Jean looked away almost immediately. “I know what I did.”
Peter instinctively moved toward her. “MJ…”
MJ spun back. “Don’t touch me.”
Peter froze.The words hit him so hard his hand stopped halfway between them. He slowly lowered his hand. “Okay.” His voice was tiny. “I won’t.”
Then, Jean spoke again. “I’m not going to do anything to you.”
MJ let out a shaky laugh. “Do you hear how fucking terrifying that sentence is coming from you?”
Jean’s face tightened. “I’m trying to tell you you’re safe.”
“I don’t feel safe.”
That silenced her.
Peter shut his eyes.
Jean looked like MJ had struck her.
MJ’s voice dropped. “I’m standing three feet away from someone who can make my body stop belonging to me.”
Peter looked as if the floor had vanished underneath him.
Jean’s head turned toward him too.
MJ looked between them.
The ease between them.
It all suddenly looked wrong.
“You’re here with her.”
Peter swallowed. “MJ…”
“You came here together.”
“Yes.”
She stared at him. “You still see her.”
Peter hesitated.
MJ’s expression hardened. “Peter.”
“She saved my life.”
Jean looked at him.
MJ went still.
Peter rushed on, because now that he’d started, he couldn’t seem to stop. “When Frank shot me, she kept me alive. If she hadn’t-”
“I know.”
MJ’s voice cut straight through him.
Peter stopped.
MJ stared at him. “You told me.”
“I know, but-”
“I know she kept you alive. I know you probably would’ve died without her.”
Jean looked down.
MJ’s eyes stayed on Peter. “And you got shot because you jumped in front of a bullet for her.”
Peter’s jaw tightened. “That was my choice.”
“I know that too.”
“Then-”
“What?”
MJ’s voice rose. “What exactly am I supposed to do with that?”
Peter looked at her. “I’m not saying it makes what she did okay.”
“It really sounds like you are.”
“I’m saying she’s not just what she did to you.”
The second the words left his mouth, Peter knew.
MJ stared at him. For a moment, she looked genuinely hurt. Then her face hardened. “What she did to me.”
Peter closed his eyes. “MJ, that came out wrong.”
“No, I heard you.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
She gave a short, breathless laugh. “Right.”
“Please.”
MJ looked past him at Jean.
Then back.
“So she saves your life once and suddenly what? You guys are friends?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Apparently.”
Peter rubbed the back of his neck.
MJ watched him.
“How often?”
“What?”
“How often do you see her?”
Peter hesitated again.
MJ’s eyes narrowed. “Peter.”
“A few times a week.”
MJ just stared.
Jean looked at Peter.
Peter wished she wouldn’t.
MJ saw it. “A few times a week?”
“Sometimes.”
“What the fuck does ‘sometimes’ mean? You just said a few times a week.”
“I know.”
“So this isn’t you checking in on someone who saved your life.”
Peter said nothing.
MJ gave a tiny nod. “Okay.”
“MJ-”
“No, I’m trying to understand what you’re telling me.” Her voice was getting louder now. “You’ve been seeing her multiple times a week?”
Peter looked physically sick. “Yeah.”
“For how long?”
He didn’t answer quickly enough, but Jean did: “About two months.”
Peter’s head snapped toward her.
MJ’s did too.
Jean frowned at both of them. “What?”
MJ slowly turned back to Peter. “Two months.”
Peter swallowed. “Yeah.”
Her laugh was almost a gasp. “Wow.”
“MJ…”
“Two months?”
“I should’ve told you.”
“No shit.”
“I mean you know what happened.”
“Because you told me.”
“Yes.”
“Exactly.”
MJ stepped closer to him. “You told me my own fucking memories.”
Peter’s face crumpled.
MJ’s anger faltered.
But she was too far into it now. “You sat there and told me who I used to be to you.”
Peter looked down.
“You told me what she did while she was me.”
Jean closed her eyes.
“And then, somewhere along the way, you started seeing her several times a week and never thought to mention it?”
“I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“You could’ve started by telling me.”
Peter couldn’t answer. MJ stared at him. “You were scared I’d react exactly like this.”
Peter’s silence answered.
MJ nodded slowly. “Wow.”
“I didn’t want to lose this.” The words came out before Peter could stop them. Peter’s voice got rough. “You and Ned.” He swallowed. “We were finally…”
He couldn’t finish.
MJ’s anger shifted.
Peter looked at her, terrified now. “I was finally talking to you again.”
MJ’s lips parted.
“And Ned texts me now. He remembers stupid things sometimes. And you…” Peter’s voice broke. “You stopped looking at me like I was insane every time I knew something about you.”
“Peter.”
“I knew if I told you about Jean you’d…”
“What?”
He looked at her. “Do this.”
The second he said it, he wished he hadn’t.
MJ recoiled.
Jean looked at him sharply.
MJ’s face hardened. “So this is my fault.”
“No.”
“That’s what you just said.”
“No, no, that’s not what I meant.”
Peter stepped toward her.
MJ backed away.
Peter stopped immediately. “I’m so scared of losing you again.”
Jean’s face changed.
Peter didn’t see it.
But MJ did.
Something ugly flashed across Jean’s expression and disappeared almost immediately.
MJ looked at Jean.
Then at Peter.
And suddenly another piece of the picture seemed to click into place.
“Oh my God.”
“It’s not…”
He panicked. “It’s not serious.”
Silence.
Peter knew instantly he’d fucked up.
Jean looked at him.
The fear on her face disappeared behind something blank.
MJ saw it.
Peter didn’t.
“Not serious,” MJ repeated.
“That came out wrong.”
Jean looked away.
MJ stared between them.
“You’re sleeping with her.”
Peter shut his eyes.
MJ let out one sharp, broken laugh. “Of course.”
“MJ-“
“She used my body to kiss you.”
Jean’s face tightened.
“And now you sleep with her.”
“It is not because of what happened with you,” Peter said quickly.
“That doesn’t make this less fucked up.”
Peter went silent.
MJ stared at him. “You are the person asking me to trust you when you say she isn’t inside my head right now.”
“I would never lie to you about that.”
“You already hid this.”
“That’s different.”
“Is it?”
Peter had no answer.
MJ continued “So you decided what I was allowed to know.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
MJ nodded toward Jean. “You didn’t choose her over me, Peter. You chose for me.”
Peter froze.
“That’s the part you keep doing.”
The words landed harder than anything else she had said.
His face crumpled.
MJ turned to Jean. “You don’t go into my head.”
“I won’t.”
“You don’t touch my body.”
“I won’t.”
“You don’t borrow me.”
Jean flinched at the word.
“And you don’t decide you need something from Peter and use me to get it.”
Jean held her gaze. “I will never enter your mind or your body again.”
MJ stared at her for several seconds, then she looked at Peter. “I really wish I hadn’t walked over here.”
“MJ…”
“Don’t follow me.”
Peter stopped.
MJ picked up her bag and headed for the door.
Her hand closed around the handle.
Then she looked back once. “I need to decide whether I can trust you when telling me the truth might cost you something.”
The bell above the door rang.
Peter and Jean made it half a block before Peter stopped walking.
Jean continued for two steps before turning. Peter stood in the middle of the sidewalk, coffee hanging loosely from one hand.
“She was right.”
Jean’s expression tightened. “About what?”
“I did it again.”
“You didn’t erase her memories.”
“No.”
Peter rubbed a hand over his face. “I just decided which part of the truth she could handle because I was scared of what she’d do with it.”
“That isn’t the same.”
“It came from the same place.”
Jean looked away. “She’ll calm down.”
“You don’t know that.” Peter looked back toward the donut shop. “She trusted me.”
“She still does.”
“You heard her.”
“Yes.”
“She was trying.”
“I heard that too.”
“And I made her feel stupid for trying.” He paused. “We were finally…”
He stopped.
Jean waited.
Peter rubbed a hand over his face. “We were finally getting somewhere.”
“You already said that.”
Peter looked away. “With both of them.”
Jean watched him for a second. “You keep saying both of them, but you haven’t looked this miserable when Ned gets pissed at you.”
Peter looked at her. “That’s not fair.”
Jean’s jaw tightened.
Peter started walking again. “We were finally getting to this place where she didn’t look at me like I was some stranger who knew everything about her.”
Jean said nothing.
Peter’s words started coming faster now. “She texts me sometimes. She tells me things. Last week she sent me a picture of some stupid sign because she knew I’d think it was funny.”
Jean glanced at him.
Peter stared straight ahead. “She didn’t used to do that.”
“You mean before she forgot you?”
“No. I mean since.”
That shut Jean up.
Peter swallowed. “I spent years wanting one chance to fix it. Then I got one, sort of, and I’ve been trying really hard not to turn it into me forcing her to become somebody she doesn’t remember being.”
Jean’s voice was quieter. “And now you think you ruined it.”
“I lied to her.”
“You didn’t lie.”
“I hid something because I knew she’d hate it.”
Jean looked at him.
Peter laughed bitterly. “That’s lying with extra steps.”
“She’ll get over it.”
“You literally don’t know that.” Peter stopped again. “I promised myself I wasn’t going to do that again.”
“Do what?”
“Decide what she gets to know because I’m scared of what she’ll do with the truth.”
Jean stared at him, something ugly shifted behind her expression. “So you want her back.”
Peter blinked. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“Jean.”
“You want MJ back.”
“That isn’t what I said.”
“You’ve spent the last 5 minutes talking about her like somebody died.”
Peter stared at her. “That’s not fair.”
Jean laughed without humor. “You know what isn’t fair? Standing here listening to you explain how devastating it is that the girl you used to love might not trust you anymore while I’m apparently…”
She stopped.
Peter frowned. “While you’re what?”
Jean looked away. “Nothing.”
“No. Say it.”
“I said nothing.”
“You clearly didn’t mean nothing.”
Jean’s eyes flashed. “Fine.” She stepped closer. “You sleep with me. You come find me when you can’t sleep. You tell me things you don’t tell anyone else.”
Peter’s expression changed.
“And then MJ looks at you like she’s disappointed and suddenly it’s like none of that exists.”
“I never said that.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Jean.”
“So just say it.”
“Say what?”
“That you’d rather have her.”
Peter stared at her.
Jean laughed again, sharper this time. “You know what? Fine.”
“Jean.”
“If you want her back that badly, I can fix it.”
Peter’s expression went blank. “What?”
Jean held his gaze. There was anger in her face now, but hurt too, and just enough cruelty for Peter to realize she was trying to hurt him back.
“I can go into her.”
Peter went completely still.
Jean continued before he could interrupt. “I know how she moves. I know how she talks.”
“Stop.”
“I could make her remember whatever you want her to remember.”
“Jean.”
“Or forget that she’s angry at you.”
“Stop.”
“And if what you actually miss is sleeping with her, I could give you that too.”
Peter’s face changed.
Jean saw it, but she kept going anyway. “Would that make you happy?”
“Don’t.”
“I could give you the best sex of your life wearing her body. Is that what you want?”
Peter stared at her.
For one second, Jean looked almost triumphant.
Then she saw his face properly.
The triumph vanished.
Peter’s voice was very quiet. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Jean flinched. “Peter…”
“No.”
He stepped away from her. “You don’t ever say that to me.”
“I wasn’t actually going to…”
“I don’t care.”
“I was angry.”
“I don’t care.”
Jean’s jaw clenched.
Peter shook his head. “You know what you did to her.”
“Yes.”
“And you just stood there ten minutes ago and told her you understood why she doesn’t want you anywhere near her.”
“I do.”
“Then why would you even joke about doing it again?”
“It wasn’t a joke.”
Peter stared.
Jean immediately realized that had made it worse. “I mean…”
“Jesus Christ.”
“I was trying to…”
“To what?”
Jean didn’t answer.
“To hurt me?”
Her silence answered for her.
Peter laughed once, but there was nothing amused in it.
“Great.”
Jean looked down.
Peter’s eyes were wet now, mostly from anger. “You know why that kiss fucked me up?”
Jean said nothing.
“Because I thought it was her.”
“I know.”
“No, apparently you don’t.”
Peter stepped closer again, voice still low. “I thought for maybe five seconds that MJ remembered me.”
Jean’s face had gone pale.
“I thought she chose me again.” Peter swallowed. “And then I found out she’d never been there at all.”
Jean looked away.
“So don’t ever use that against me again.”
“I know.”
“And don’t ever talk about her body like it’s something you can lend me.”
Jean’s eyes came back to his.
Peter continued. “It’s hers.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
Jean flinched again. “Yes.”
Peter shook his head. “I don’t know if you do.”
That one landed.
Jean’s face closed immediately. “Fine.”
She turned.
Peter frowned. “Where are you going?”
“Away from you.”
“Jean.”
“You’re pissed at me.”
“Yes.”
“So I’m leaving.”
Peter stared at her. “That is not how this works.”
Jean turned back. “What do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“Exactly.”
“No, I don’t know what I want you to do because I can’t believe you just said that.”
Jean looked furious now too, but mostly at herself. “So what? You want me to stand here until you decide I’m disgusting?”
“I don’t think you’re disgusting.”
“You looked at me like I was.”
“I looked at you like you said something disgusting.”
Jean went silent.
Peter exhaled hard.
Jean finally said:
“You do want her back.”
Peter closed his eyes. “Jesus.”
“Just answer me.”
He opened his eyes.
Jean looked terrified underneath the anger now. Peter saw it, but that didn’t make him less angry. “I don’t know.”
Jean’s face fell.
Peter continued immediately. “I don’t.”
“That means yes.”
“No, it means I don’t know.”
“You love her.”
Peter looked away. “I loved her.”
Jean didn’t miss the tense. “Loved.”
Peter’s jaw clenched. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to call it anymore.”
Jean stared at him.
Peter’s voice softened despite himself. “She was my whole life.”
Jean looked down.
“And then one day I was nothing to her.”
Jean said nothing.
“I don’t want to force that back.” Peter swallowed. “But yeah, sometimes I want her to look at me and remember.”
Jean’s eyes lifted.
“Sometimes I want Ned to remember too.”
“That isn’t the same.”
“No.” Peter sighed. “It isn’t.”
Jean looked away again.
Peter watched her for a few seconds.
Then:
“But wanting that doesn’t mean I want you to become her.”
Jean’s face tightened. “I know.”
“No. Listen to me.” She looked at him. “I don’t sleep with you because you’re the closest thing I can get to MJ.”
Jean’s expression flickered.
Peter continued. “If that’s what you think this is, then maybe we shouldn’t be doing it.”
Jean went very still.
Peter immediately hated saying it.
But he didn’t take it back.
Jean stared at him for a long time.
Then:
“Do you want to stop?”
Peter didn’t answer immediately.
Jean’s jaw tightened. “Peter.”
“No.”
Something in her shoulders loosened.
“But I don’t want this either.”
“What?”
“You trying to hurt me every time you’re scared I might care about somebody else.”
Jean looked down. “I wasn’t scared.”
Peter stared at her.
Jean lasted approximately three seconds.
Then:
“Fine.”
Peter waited.
She hated him waiting.
“I was.”
Peter’s anger softened by a fraction.
Jean rubbed her thumb against the edge of her sleeve. “I don’t understand what I’m supposed to be to you.”
Peter frowned. “You don’t have to be anything.”
“That is such bullshit.”
“Jean.”
“You say it’s not serious.”
Peter went quiet.
Jean laughed bitterly. “You told MJ it’s not serious before she even asks.”
“I panicked.”
“You said it.”
“I know.”
“And then you spend half an hour looking like you’re going to throw up because she might not want you around anymore.”
Peter looked down.
Jean’s voice cracked just slightly. “So yeah. I wondered.”
Peter looked at her again. “Wondered what?”
“If I’m just what you do because you can’t have her.”
Peter’s face changed completely. “Jean.”
She looked away.
Peter stepped closer, but he didn’t touch her. “You’re not.”
Jean swallowed. “You don’t know what you want.”
“Maybe not.”
“That isn’t reassuring.”
“I know.”
Peter looked back toward the direction MJ had gone, then back at Jean. “But I know I don’t want her body with you inside it.”
Jean winced.
Peter continued, gentler now. “I want you to be you.”
Jean stared at him.
Peter’s mouth twisted slightly. “Even when you say completely fucked up things, apparently.”
Jean looked down. “I’m sorry.”
Peter was silent.
Jean forced herself to continue. “For saying it.” A beat. “And for doing it to her before.”
Peter watched her.
Jean’s voice was low. “I know saying sorry doesn’t fix it.”
“No.”
“I know.”
Peter nodded.
For a moment, neither of them spoke.
Then Jean looked at his coffee. “You haven’t taken a sip.”
Peter glanced down at it. “Kind of lost the mood.”
Jean nodded. “Right.”
They stood there awkwardly.
Jean looked like she wanted to leave again.
Peter knew if he let her, she probably wouldn’t answer his texts for three days, or maybe even longer. So he reached out and caught the sleeve of her jacket.
Jean looked down at his hand.
Then at him.
“I’m still mad.”
“I know.”
“Like, really mad.”
“I know.”
“Don’t do that again.”
“I won’t.”
Peter studied her.
Jean met his eyes. “I won’t.”
He let go of her sleeve.
Jean didn’t leave.
After a moment, Peter started walking.
She followed.
Not touching.
Not talking.
Just beside him.
For now, that was enough.