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Thoughts: Satanic Stories From The Streets

Summary:

Papa goes Hollywood!...Some with more success than others. 🫤

Notes:

A tumblr ask from Ghestie lucifixion-pose for my thoughts on all the Papas guest starring on Law & Order

Work Text:

Nihil would be useless because as soon as they say 'cut', his ass is passed out.

Primo would never agree to such a thing, but in the unlikely event that he gets bullied or guilted into it, it would be short-lived because he would just be looming in the shadows and glaring at everyone. They'll find him so unnerving once he starts muttering something about them 'paying for this with their immortal souls' that they'll eventually give up and send him on his way.

Secondo would be great for exactly one day, in fact everyone would agree that he's a natural. But after partying a little too hard in an effort to get 'the full Hollywood experience' on the first night, he's too hung over to function the next day and they decide to cut his role short and go in a different direction. He never does find out what his original storyline was supposed to be because he also never bothered to read the script.

Terzo would be similarly adept as a guest star, though very distractable by every attractive gopher, grip, and assistant he encounters. He also reeks havoc with the filming schedule because he can't stop tripping on the electrical cords offscreen. Plot wise he's so darn charming that there's no way he could be the killer, right? But yes, he absolutely did it and he'd do it again. All in all, he's on his best behavior, at least by his standards, mostly because he's looking forward to turning the wrap party into a full-on orgy that will go down in television history.

Copia is over the moon when he's asked to test his acting chops. And he tries soooo hard, reading and re-reading his lines, even filming himself so he can make everyone at the Ministry watch his scenes and give him notes. (It should come as no surprise that he does not take even the most well-meaning criticisms well) Unfortunately, when the time comes...it does not go well. He's sweating profusely, tripping over all his words. Ultimately it takes twice as long and costs twice as much than it should have, and we'll never know whether he even the suspect or not because the episode is never aired. What a fiasco!

Much to his twin's chagrin, the entire cast and crew agrees that Perpetua is one of the best guest stars they've ever had, even if he does tend to say nothing when the cameras are off and just stand around like this: 👀. The plot line is exactly what you'd expect. He's a little Satanic vampire weirdo, so naturally he has to be the killer. But, plot twist, he's not. He's just a weird little guy. The episode is critically acclaimed but becomes infamous after several people involved in the production disappear under mysterious circumstances and their bodies are never found.

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