Chapter Text
Scat Stats @MLHscatcompilation
Starting a new account for hockey! Here’s a compilation of every time a mic picked up on a gassy player 😉 💩 [link to video]
> Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozy81
replying to @MLHscatcompilation
Display name is very misleading. How am I supposed to brag about accomplishment to my husband without stat reporting?
>> my beloved cenWHORES @lesbians4rozy
replying to @ilyarozy81
Ain’t no way this is the new competition for Hollanov💀
>> Rose Landry’s gay boyfriend @hollandryshipper14
replying to @ilyarozy81
Talking like you already know you’re number one in the league for this shit (no pun intended)
>>> Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozy81
replying to @hollandryshipper14
And I want people to know that
>> Cliff Marleau ✅ @cmarlyhockey
replying to @ilyarozy81
Only you would find a scat fetish account and beg for stats to brag about
>>> Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozy81
replying to @cmarlyhockey
Well the account is Scat Stats, no? So it should have stats
>>>> Ottawa Centaurs ✅ @OTTcensOfficial
replying to @ilyarozy81
Every day you manage to be a PR nightmare in a new way. The first tweet was already bad enough. Please stop replying.
>> Shane Hollander ✅ @SHollander24
replying to @ilyarozy81
This is the consolation prize you want for not being rookie of the year?
>> Troy Barrett ✅ @tbarrettMLH
replying to @ilyarozy81
I think number one goes to my former teammate who cannot be named who shit himself on ice once
>>> Ottawa Centaurs ✅ @OTTcensOfficial
replying to @tbarrettMLH
Why are you making your husband’s job harder?
>>> Wyatt Hayes ✅ @hazygoalie
replying to @tbarrettMLH
Most satisfying practice to be at 🥊 💩
>>> Luca Haas ✅ @11ucahaas
replying to @tbarrettMLH
If you’re talking about who I think you’re talking about…could you do it again in a game?
>>>> Troy Barrett ✅ @tbarrettMLH
replying to @11ucahaas
FREAK! If you want to see it so bad just draw fanart, I already know you did NSFW Hollanov commissions when you were fifteen
>>>>> my beloved cenWHORES @lesbians4rozy
replying to @tbarrettMLH
LUCA DID WHAT 😱
>>>>> Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozy81
replying to @tbarrettMLH
I didn’t like his fanart. He made my dick too small 😔
>>>>>> Luca Haas ✅ @11ucahaas
replying to @ilyarozy81
Forgive me for thinking that nine inches was an exaggeration 🙄
>>>> Ottawa Centaurs ✅ @OTTcensOfficial
replying to @hazygoalie
What was said to Ilya also applies to you PLEASE STOP. You too @11ucahaas.
>>>>> Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozy81
replying to @OTTcensOfficial
Stop silencing queer voices.
>>>>> Wyatt Hayes ✅ @hazygoalie
replying to @OTTcensOfficial
Stop silencing queer voices.
>>>>> Luca Haas ✅ @11ucahaas
replying to @OTTcensOfficial
Stop silencing queer voices.
>>>>> Troy Barrett ✅ @tbarrettMLH
replying to @OTTcensOfficial
Stop silencing queer voices.
>>>>>> Ottawa Centaurs ✅ @OTTcensOfficial
replying to @tbarrettMLH
@11ucahaas @ilyarozy81 you know that’s not why I’m silencing you. @hazygoalie you’re not even queer.
>>>>>>> Wyatt Hayes ✅ @hazygoalie
replying to @OTTcensOfficial
Are you assuming my gender and sexuality?
> 59 Supremacy @shaydenismytruth
Ilya’s response to the scat stats account is another reason why we need to #freeshane 😔
>> 24+35 @OTPshayden59
replying to @shaydenismytruth
Ilya’s response to the WHAT?
>> 140 truther @hollapikanov
replying to @shaydenismytruth
Wait what did he say? I think Ilya blocked me, I see everyone’s but not his
>>> 59 Supremacy @shaydenismytruth
replying to @hollapikanov
I wonder why…
>> your honor they’re kinky @freak4freakhollanov
replying to @shaydenismytruth
Adults are allowed to have fetishes #dontfreeshane
>>> 59 Supremacy @shaydenismytruth
replying to @freak4freakhollanov
Blocked.
> Scat Stats @MLHscatcompilation
What did I just cause 😃
>> Scat Stats @MLHscatcompilation
replying to @MLHscatcompilation
Uhhh…@ilyarozy81 noticed me and actually requested stats. This list was hard to make because sometimes I couldn’t tell if it was the mic’s person or someone near them. Starting with non-goalies because the goalies are a whole other level.
🥇Gilbert Comeau (MTL) - 10
🥈 Ilya Rozanov (OTT) - 7
🥉Corkum (MIN) - 5
Honorary mention: unmentionable teammate (TOR) - shit himself after getting beat up at practice for being a r*pist. Thank you @hazygoalie and @tbarrettMLH for your contribution.
>>> Rose Landry’s gay boyfriend @hollandryshipper14
replying to @MLHscatcompilation
@ilyarozy81 remember when you claimed to be #1 in the league for this?
>>>> Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozy81
replying to @hollandryshipper14
2nd is better actually, I have realized I do not want to be known as gassiest MLH player. Am glad that I now have new chirping material for @comeaug 😊
>>>>> Gilbert Comeau ✅ @comeaug
replying to @ilyarozy81
At least I’m not a fucking fairy who has to have games thrown for him
>>>>>> Scat Stats @MLHscatcompilation
replying to @comeaug
The fucking fairy can and has beaten your ass. Unless you were throwing all your fights against Rozanov 🤔
[link to video]
>>>>>>> Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozy81
replying to @MLHscatcompilation
I would tell you to suck my dick @comeaug but only my husband can do that
>>> Troy Barrett ✅ @tbarrettMLH
replying to @MLHscatcompilation
Getting traded to Ottawa was worth it.
>>> Wyatt Hayes ✅ @hazygoalie
replying to @MLHscatcompilation
I can give you the footage
>>>> Ottawa Centaurs ✅ @OTTcensOfficial
replying to @hazygoalie
DO NOT.
>>>> Toronto Guardians ✅ @TORmlh
replying to @hazygoalie
We do not condone unauthorized sharing of media depicting current or former team members as in accordance with the MLH code of conduct
>>>>> Ilya Rozanov (🥈) ✅ @ilyarozy81
replying to @TORmlh
But you condone rape
>>>>>> Ottawa Centaurs ✅ @OTTcensOfficial
replying to @ilyarozy81
Change your display name
>>>>>>> Ilya Rozanov (🥈) ✅ @ilyarozy81
replying to @OTTcensOfficial
Why?
>>>>>> Ottawa Centaurs ✅ @OTTcensOfficial
replying to @ilyarozy81
Because management needs you guys to stop interacting with the scat account and we all know what that medal represents. Don’t play dumb.
>>>>> Wyatt Hayes ✅ @hazygoalie
replying to @TORmlh
But you condone homophobia
>>>>> Luca Haas ✅ @11ucahaas
replying to @TORmlh
But you condone racism
>>>>> Troy Barrett ✅ @tbarrettMLH
replying to @TORmlh
But you condone hazing
>>>>> Cliff Marleau ✅ @cmarleyhockey
replying to @TORmlh
🍅 🍅 🍅
>>>>> Shane Hollander ✅ @shollander24
replying to @TORmlh
🍅 🍅 🍅
>>>>> Zane Boodram ✅ @zboodcens
replying to @TORmlh
🍅 🍅 🍅
>>>>> OG LaHaas shipper ✅ @lapointemlh
replying to @TORmlh
🍅 🍅 🍅
>>>>>> Ottawa Centaurs ✅ @OTTcensOfficial
replying to @lapointemlh
Change your display name
>>>>>>> OG LaHaas shipper ✅ @lapointemlh
replying to @OTTcensOfficial
But I’m actually doing the right thing and not interacting with the scat account
>>>>>>>> Ottawa Centaurs ✅ @OTTcensOfficial
replying to @lapointemlh
I can only deal with one scandal at a time
>>>>>>>> Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozy81
replying to @OTTcensOfficial
Stop silencing queer voices.
>>>>>>>>> Wyatt Hayes ✅ @hazygoalie
replying to @OTTcensOfficial
Stop silencing queer voices.
>>>>>>>> Luca Haas ✅ @11ucahaas
replying to @OTTcensOfficial
Stop silencing queer voices.
>>>>>>>>> Troy Barrett ✅ @tbarrettMLH
replying to @OTTcensOfficial
Stop silencing queer voices.
>>>>> Jamie Young ✅ @hockeyyoung
replying to @TORmlh
💩 💩 💩 feels more appropriate
>>>>>> Ottawa Centaurs ✅ @OTTcensOfficial
replying to @hockeyyoung
I’m so tired of policing this