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“She invited you over to her place for dinner?” George’s voice was far away. Tinkering with something no doubt, with greasy fingers that would leave smeared fingerprints all over the phone’s casing.
Bess held the phone between her shoulder and ear. She rifled through her wardrobe: candy pink and floral prints amongst the knee-length summer dresses that seemed to repeat themselves, copies of each other.
“Wow George. Don’t sound too surprised. Toni and I are friends you know.”
A clang of metal made Bess wince. She pulled out a blouse. Baby blue, sleeveless. She placed the hanger on her closet door.
“Besides, I already said yes.”
“When is it?” George asked.
“…Tonight.”
“Tonight?!”
“George, come on.” She pulled out two skirts, inspecting them with furrowed eyebrows. “Should I wear the white mid-rise skirt or the maxi periwinkle skirt?”
“Oh Bess. You know I’m not good with that stuff. The white skirt, I guess?”
“Got it. Periwinkle it is!”
George sighed loudly. “Look just… be careful, okay? I know she hasn’t given you any reason to not trust her, but—ow!” She sucked air through her teeth.
“I’ll be fine. I’ve been in worse situations.”
She could hear George sucking at what she assumed was the skin of her hand, her voice muffled, “That’s what I’m worried about.”
She checked in the mirror at least seven times. And then pulled out her phone before she got out of the car to check again. Then two more checks in the side mirror of her car before she walked up to the door.
The house wasn’t a mansion, but it was large Bess observed. Much larger than her house at least. She slung her purse over the shoulder and rang the doorbell.
Toni opened the door with a smile. “Hi Bess.”
“Hi!”
Toni stepped back to let her in. The house smelled fragrant with the scent of spices. Basil, parsley? The smell of caramelized onions and seafood and underneath, something lemony, clean. She looked around the foyer. Large muddied portraits of Victorian-era women lined the walls. She carried herself with a light step against the hardwood floor, too afraid to ruin it with her sandals.
Toni herself looked like elegance had chosen her: a tan ankle length skirt that glided against the floor with an effortless movement, enveloped in an asymmetrical knit cardigan, tied together by her belt cinched at her waist. The top simple and black.
“Wow Toni. You look great!”
She followed behind her into the dining room. Toni looked over her shoulder, “Different than when I’m behind the counter at an ice cream shop, huh?”
“Oh, I didn’t mean it that way.”
“I know, Bess.” She laughed. “You look great too. Please take a seat. Would you like something to drink?”
Bess hung her purse over the ear of the chair. “Um, any suggestions?”
“How about starting with some sparkling water?”
“That’s great. Yeah.” Bess looked about the room. “You live here all by yourself?”
Toni emerged from the kitchen and set the crystal glass down in front of Bess. “Mmhmm,” she said, taking a sip from her own. “The house used to belong to my parents. They passed it on to me.”
“Oh,” Bess muttered into her glass. She didn’t really like sparkling water. It tried too hard to be like soda, too metallic to taste like water. She drank it. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright.” Her voice was warm. “You don’t have to be nervous, Bess.”
“Huh? Oh, I guess I am. I’ve never been to the house of someone in government.”
“And owner of an ice cream shop.”
Bess chuckled, “Right. Yeah.”
Toni pulled her cardigan closer and sat down. “Anyway, this is one friend to another. No Councilwoman Scallari, alright?”
Bess nodded. “Sorry— oh shoot. I mean, what’s for dinner?”
“Seafood carbonara. Paired with a Pinot Grigio.”
“Sounds fancy.”
“I’m glad you think so,” she laughed, looking at her over the rim of her glass.
“Do you ever have like… big… political parties here?”
“Not really. Sometimes I’ll host Christmas for my sister and her family. Most of the soirées are in the big halls around town.”
“Huh.” She forced the water down and pressed her lips together.
A timer dinged from the kitchen, giving Bess a moment of relief.
Toni placed Bess’ plate down first. Bright peeled flesh of shrimp, curled on a bed of spaghetti blanketed by a shredding of fresh cheese she wouldn’t have dared try to pronounce. Toni uncorked the wine and filled her glass halfway. Bess reached for the stem.
“Here,” Toni said, pouring her own glass. “Let me show you how to do it.”
The flush of embarrassment rose on Bess’ cheeks. Toni seemingly didn’t notice, picking up her own glass with her thumb and pointed finger.
“Hold it up to the light.”
Bess did as she was told, admiring the crisp honeyed yellow wine through the curve of the glass.
“A lot of Pinot Grigio is watered down and clear. The honey color means it’s a higher quality.”
“Oh.” Bess nodded along.
Toni rotated her wrist, letting the wine coat the sides of the glass. “You’ll swirl it a bit. There you go! Now bring it to your nose. Short inhale. Do you smell anything?”
The scent of alcohol hit her first, sharp. Bitter. It reminded her of the perfume from her Nana’s medicine cabinet, a thick spice that burned her nostrils whenever it lingered too long in the air. She took another sniff. Envisioned the fruits; something that tasted of summer lingered in the back of her throat.
“I… think I smell pear?”
Toni closed her eyes, drawing in her own assessment. Her lips curled into a smile. “Yes! Pear is one of them. Anything else?”
“It smells kinda like…” Another short inhale. “What are those white and yellow flowers? George and I used to eat them when we were kids. Not the flowers. Whatever was in them.”
“Honeysuckle.” Toni nodded. “You might be a wine connoisseur and not even know it, Bess. Now, take a small sip and let it coat your entire mouth.”
Bess watched her. It was the kind of movement that came with years of practice, an understanding of the DNA that came with rubbing elbows of those in higher places. Bess took a sip, rolling it around with her tongue, coating her cheeks, pressing the wine into her back molars.
“Just let it sit there. Think about how it tastes.”
The back of her throat buzzed. She tasted alcohol over everything else. She swallowed again, letting the saliva drown it down.
“It tastes uh…” Bess pondered for a moment. “Like alcohol? Isn’t that what it’s supposed to taste like? I don’t know if I get wine.”
“Mm.” Toni took another sip before she placed her glass down. “The alcohol content is pretty high.”
“Are you trying to get me drunk then?” Bess teased. She washed the taste down with the sparkling water.
“Bess,” she said, beginning to twirl her pasta with her fork. “You know me better than that.”
Between the shrimp and the pasta, Bess surmised the wine wasn’t too bad. The dish eventually washed away the taste of alcohol, maneuvering into something light. It was pleasing to her—What do they call it? She thought. Right!—palate.
She accepted when Toni poured her a second glass, presence lighter than when she arrived. Toni began clearing the table off, refusing Bess’ offer to help clean the dishes.
“It’s alright, Bess. Just sit here and enjoy yourself.”
Bess followed each sip after Toni, who’s composure remained unchanged, laughing whenever Bess giggled at her own jokes.
The discussion moved to her den. In the corner, the wide glass eyes of dolls watched them from a curio case, frills and flowers adorned on their still bodies. The couch matched the same color scheme as the paintings, deep reds and greens, overshadowed by brown florals. A black bust of a man on a shelf and glass, everywhere: glass table with a silver chrome trim, large windows that peered out into a formless backyard. The blinking fireflies in the distance the only signs of life. Bess tucked her feet under her, resting her hand on Toni’s forearm.
“It was soooo embarrassing to watch Deirdre try to be all over Ned. Even her friends Whatshername and Whosherface were cringing.”
“Oh, that is embarrassing. But I think Deirdre likes that kind of drama though.”
“Yeah,” Bess scoffed. “Because she has nothing else going on in her life. She’s been that way since kindergarten.”
“Some people never change,” Toni shrugged. “She’s bored. Her life isn’t as glamorous as you and your friends lives are.”
“Glamorous?” Bess snorted. “I mean, I guess it can be sometimes.”
“You don’t have to play it down,” Toni laughed, swirling her wine around. “Not many people your age get to travel like that.”
“Have you ever done that?”
“Me? Not really. I went straight to college and focused on that. I opened Scoop and I never really got the chance since I started working on the council. Oh, I’ve been out of state of course. Ozark’s, New England. School trips abroad, but that’s it really. My place is in River Heights.”
“Well, I’m glad. That you stayed here.”
Bess shifted her gaze to the table. The blurred faces of the dolls' empty eyes reflected back at her. She felt Toni’s hand on top of hers, snapping her attention back to her understanding smile.
“I’m glad too.”
Bess noticed the shape of her lips, the mauve of her lipstick untouched by any wine glass, a rim with no mark. The space between them was still. She leaned forward.
“Bess—“
Toni’s hand rested on her shoulder.
“I’m flattered, really, but—“
Bess leaned back against the arm of the couch. “It’s because of my age, isn’t it? I know I’m 18, but I’m still an adult!”
“Bess, woah. Slow down.” Toni squeezed her shoulder. “I know you’re an adult, but you’ve also been drinking.”
“Oh. Oh no,” Bess groaned into her hands.
Toni’s thumb rubbed at her shoulder. “It’s okay, really,” she chuckled.
“I’m so embarrassed! I thought…”
Toni watched her with a look of sympathy. The unbearable heat of her own cheeks burned under Bess’ palms.
“Bess, please. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It just doesn’t feel right if you’re drinking.”
“You mean…” Bess peered out from her fingers. “You would have let it happen if I wasn’t drunk?”
“Who’s to say? I’m not afraid of a little romance between friends,” Toni said, grinning.
“Uh— Ohmigosh. Okay.” Bess’ hands fell to her lap. “I mean. I… appreciate that. Ugh. I think I need to go home.”
“That’s probably not the best idea. It might be better to spend the night here.”
“Right,” she laughed, nervous, “Don’t want a member of city council to report me for a DUI. So, I’ll take the couch then?”
“I invited you, you can take the bed.”
“I don’t want to put you out or anything. Really, I don’t mind the couch.”
“You won’t be putting me out. The guest bedrooms haven’t been touched since Christmas though. My bed is fine. It’s big enough for the both of us.”
“Oh.” Bess exhaled. “I… don’t have any PJs.”
Toni slipped away, finishing the last of her drink, to stand above Bess.
“We can find something.”
The sheets were cool against her skin. She listened to the sound of running water in the bathroom and followed the pattern of the wallpaper before her. The sheets smelled like her: fresh, powdery, sweet like the ice cream shop.
The oversized Wildwood t-shirt, she said, had been her sister’s, a memory she was always meaning to get rid of, but never had the time to. The linen pajama pants felt… expensive, was the only word she could think of, but that could have also been the brand she saw when she flipped open the waistband. Someone else’s skin.
The bathroom door opened and she felt Toni slide into bed. Bess tried to keep her breath steady.
“Everything okay?” Her voice was soft.
“Huh?” Bess looked over her shoulder. “Oh yeah. I’m just. Relaxing.”
“Hmm,” Toni hummed. She sat with her back to the headboard. Bess turned to face her, cheek pressed into the pillow.
“It’s kinda nice, you know. Having an older woman attracted to me.” She paused. Her thumbnail played at the corner of the pillow. “I mean, I guess I just never thought of the possibility before.”
“Of?”
“Having feelings for someone like you. Older. Aren’t there other people out there you would rather be with?”
“I’ve been with other people.” Toni stroked her knuckle against the curve of her cheek. “I appreciate you being earnest.”
“Is that what it is?”
Toni laughed low. “That’s what I would call it.”
Bess reached out into the space between them. Her palm laid flat on the sheet.
“I consider you a good friend, Bess, but you have to understand. I have a public image to uphold for the community. I’m supposed to be a leader. Everything I do is scrutinized. I can’t just go out there dating someone 30 years my junior and expect everyone to be okay with it.”
“Oh,” Bess muttered.
“But that doesn’t mean I don’t like you. You’re my best customer after all.”
“Pffttt. Right. Best customer. Not girlfriend. Or partner. Or… lover.”
“Oh, how clandestine!”
“So then what? We just… keep being friends? Shop owner and customer? Gossip forum?”
“We can talk about that tomorrow, Bess,” she said. “Now’s not the time.”
“Because I’m drunk?”
“Yes actually.”
“You’re the one who got me drunk. Underage drunk, by the way,” Bess quipped.
“I know the kinds of parties you go to, Bess.”
Bess lifted her head up. “What? How do you… what kind of access to the town do you even have?”
“That’s the glamorous part of my job.”
Bess conceded and laid her head back down, fluttering her eyes shut. She rested there in between the daze of sleep and the thin line of reality. The bedside lamp clicked off and Toni’s voice clear through the dream whispered her goodnight.
Bess peeled her tongue off of the roof of her mouth with a quiet ‘ugh’ and stretched her leg out, feeling a tinge of pain in her hip. Dawn peered through the windows, the sky a dusty shade of lilac. The air was on, making the white curtains billow.
Her spine curved against Toni’s back, unbothered by her gentle shifting. Bess held her breath, feeling Toni’s body draw against her in long exhales. Even. Controlled.
She laid there listening to the call of morning larks and drifted back into sleep.
The morning sun blared near-white through the windows. She turned to the empty space next to her. The clock on the bedside read 9 in the morning. The soft click of the bedroom door cut her attention away from the well of disappointment rising up in her chest.
“Oh, you’re awake! I was going to wake you up myself if you didn’t wake up first.”
“Oh, thanks.” Bess stretched her whole body then pushed herself into a sitting position.
Toni sat beside her at the edge of the bed. “How do you feel?” she asked.
“Not hungover,” Bess laughed.
“I’m glad to hear it. I’ve got to head to the shop around noon.” She looked at her watch. “Are you feeling breakfast?”
“Yeah, that’d be nice. Maybe before that we can… talk about what we were talking about last night?”
They let the question linger. Toni reached her hand out, just missing the shape of her leg as Bess shifted. She planted herself on her hands and knees, facing her.
Toni’s gaze followed past the collar of her shirt. The slope of her breast visible in the morning light, tanned skin a willing temptation.
The driveway was empty. Her dad had already finished his lunch break a little while ago. She stepped into the empty house, letting the front door click softly behind her. Bess made her way up the stairs, stripping herself of her clothes and crawling onto her bed, lying on her stomach.
She shuddered, tucking her arm underneath her torso and drew her finger in a circle, sharply inhaling at the sting of her overworked clit. She shut her eyes, imagining her there in the room. Behind her.
Toni didn’t seem to mind watching.