Chapter Text
The first thing we see is Chef walking down a prison aisle, following a security guard while holding an orange folder, past numerous other prisoners who try to interact with him.
“I’M INNOCENT I TELL YA! INNOCENT!!!”
Another prisoner makes a bunch of kissy-faces at Chef, who visibly looks uncomfortable until he hears a familiar voice.
“And the Crusty Cockroaches have a big lead over the Soiled Stinkbugs!”
“Cram it, McLean!”
“Zoey slips past our daredevil Jo, and the heat is on! Yeah, look at that! That's what I'm talking about!”
Chris, wearing an orange jumpsuit and locked in a very highly-secured cell, with both a glass door and a set of bars. He was overlooking two bugs who were staring at each other. He looks up to see Chef standing at his cell, his face falling into an annoyed glare.
“Well, well, well, look who finally came to visit me after a whole year.” He scolded Chef.
Chef just sighed. “C'mon. You've finished your sentence for dumping toxic waste.”
Chris just pouted, “Whatever, think I'll stay right here; got everything I need. Including-” He pulled out a small brown nut similarly shaped like Chef’s head. “-Chef 2.0! I made him from a cashew.”
Chef didn’t respond, instead he slipped the manila folder through the slot into Chris’ cell, and Chris grabbed it with a suspicious look. “What's this?”
“Yo contract. The Producers green lit another season with the second cast. They’ve all agreed to do another round. So you in?”
A large, slightly maniac smile grew on Chris’ face in an instant.
“Oh, it is on!”
</>
[The four usual spotlights pop out; one with a bunch of spiderwebs in the skull’s face, one covered in water from a large lake, one coming from a pit of quicksand and the fourth one out a the tree hollow with a squirrel on top of it. The director claps the clapperboard.]
[We zoom past two large treehouses, then along the ground with noticeable dangerous plants before shooting up the skull mountain of Boney Island and into the beach water.]
Dear mum and dad, I’m doing fine.
You guys are on my mind.
[Sam is riding Dakotazoid on her back on the water, playing some form of shooter game. Fang sneaks up behind them and the two scream and Dakotazoid swims away.]
You asked me what I wanted to be, and now I think the answer is plain to see.
[At the shore, Dawn is chatting to a dolphin that swam up to meet her before a rock is thrown at it, causing it to retreat into the ocean. We see Scott hiding in the tree line, laughing until Fang appears behind him and he gulps.]
I wanna be famous.
[Mike and Zoey are chatting in a canoe that’s floating in a river down the island, but then Mike looks away and “accidentally” breaks the oar. Zoey doesn’t notice until the two start over rapids. Zoey screams while Mike gasps and looks down at the oar, confused.]
I wanna live close to the sun, go pack your bags, cause I’ve already won!
[Lightning, surprisingly, is hanging out with Cameron in a grassy field. He’s doing push-ups while Cam sits on his back and reads a book, but then Cameron looks to see Zoey and Mike speed past. He runs to help them, to which Lighting just rolls his eyes and continues to do push-ups.]
Everything to prove, nothing in my way.
[Staci is following after B, continuing to ramble about random facts, most likely about her family. B spins around and hands her a device before pulling out headphones and walking off. Staci looks down, confused until it beeps and an explosion is shown, sending Staci flying into the sky.
I’ll get there one day.
[Anne Maria is shown posing with a mirror, styling her hair before Staci flies from the forest and lands on her head. Anne shoves her off and chases her down with her hairspray.]
I wanna be famous.
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!
[Chris and Chef are shown to be watching everything go down on a helicopter using binoculars, both laughing at everything going down. We then see smoke come from the engine, and they both jump out the plane with Chef using Chris’ jet pack while carrying his host partner.]
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!
[The helicopter crashes into the skull. Two beavers approach it, and the one on the right taps the helicopter, before it explodes and fire covers the screen.]
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous.
[This time, at the campfire it’s Jo and Brick. Unlike all the other couples, however, they’re shooting each other glares while seated on wooden stools. Chris pops up and casually push their wooden stools closer to each other, making both blush in embarrassment. The camera zooms out to see the two teams sitting on different stands as they all whistle.]
[End of theme song. This is the theme song for the rest of the season.]
</>
”Attention, campers!”
The episode starts with a large airplane flying towards presumably Camp Wawanakwa. Inside, Chris is shown driving the plane in the conductors cabin, Chef standing behind him. “We are approaching our destination! It should be another few minutes, so feel free to mingle for a bit longer.”
Chris switched off the communicator and faced the camera. “Guess who’s back! After my involuntary year-long *vacation-*,” he put his hands into quotation marks. “-I really need to be in a familiar environment surrounded by the people I love. To hurt. It's a condition of my parole. Except for the hurt part. Eh? That's all McLean.”
He smirked to himself. “So, now that I’m out of jail, I thought why not gather back my favourite thirteen contestants back onto the show! Except, since the main island’s still under cleansing from all the toxic waste…”
The camera cut to the inside of the plane. Everyone from Total Drama: Revenge of the Island minus Dakota is seated on the plane. On the left is all the males, on the right is all the females plus Mike, who is seated next to Zoey.
“Attention, campers!” Everyone looked up at the speaker in the room. “Since our previous campsite is still under cleansing, it’s time for a change in scenery! We’re going to the second-best place we can!”
“Excuse me?” Jo spoke up. “Where the hell are we going?”
Everyone heard Chris’ laughter over the intercom, before he suddenly stood at the doorway of the room, everyone’s eyes darting towards him. “It’ll be a surprise! Now, everyone, get ready!”
”For what?” Cameron asked.
Chris pulled out a button on a remote and pressed it, his usual smirk appearing on his face. “This!”
The airplane’s door is revealed to have a bomb strapped to it, which suddenly exploded. Everyone starts to scream, minus Brick and Sam. Sam’s too busy playing some form of video game, while Brick just stares in fear.
”Alright! Everyone out!” Chris ordered. “Grab a parachute and jump for it! I’ll meet you all at the bottom. Everyone has to swim their way to the beach, and if you’re not there, you’ll be punished!”
He walks back into the control room calmly, and we can hear the screams of the contestants (still minus Sam and Brick) while Chris turns to face the camera once more.
”A brand new season, and one planned to be deadlier than before! So, welcome everyone; to Total Drama: Revenge of Boney Island!”
We see everyone fall out of the plane, all quickly grabbing their parachutes.
Cameron was still slinging the parachute around his shoulders, but he managed to successfully activate it after muttering something to himself. “Why did I come back here…”
Dawn is squealing as she falls, but then a small bird flutters up to her and all her fear vanishes. “Oh, hello! Do you know where we are falling to?”
Unlike everyone else, she doesn’t bother to pull her parachute, simply holding her hand out and letting the bird rest on her palm. The bird tweets a couple of times, and Dawn frowns. “Really? We’re going there?”
The bird nods and Dawn squints her eyes. “Oh my…”
“Hey!” Scott was falling next to her, his voice startling the bird away which made Dawn shoot a rare glare. Scott was having trouble with his pull string.“If you ain’t using your parachute, toss it over! Mine’s a dud.”
Dawn just looked at him, still annoyed. Scott just grabbed her shoulder and yanked it off, shoving Dawn to the side and throwing his own parachute off and Dawn’s was slung over his shoulders. Scott snickered to himself as he pulled the string and the parachute flung open. Dawn just sighed.
“Oi!” Jo, Lightning and Brick are all falling together. Jo and Lightning appear to be bickering. Lightning’s hair is still white from “Make way for Lightning! I’m ’bout to win this series for the second time!”
“Cram it, Jockstrap! You already lost last time.” Jo retaliated. “I’ll make sure to have you eliminated first.”
“Sha-please! Lightning made it to the top last time, and I’ll do it again!”
Brick floated closer to them. “Hey, both of you aren’t going to make it far if you two keep on bullying everyone.”
“SILENCE, MAGGOT!”
“YES, MA’AM!” Brick saluted, before visibly growing embarrassed at Jo’s calling. All he got in return was both Lightning and Jo laughing him.
Sam was locked in on his game, and B seemed to notice this. He grabbed Sam by his collar as he pulled his own parachute, while also seeing Staci struggling with hers and reaching out to save her as well.
“Oh!” Sam chuckled awkwardly. “Thanks B!”
“Ya!” Staci smiled, flashing him a thumbs up. “Did you guys know that my second great-great godfather made parachutes?”
Sam and B shared a pissed-off look as Staci started to ramble.
Mike easily pulled his cord, his parachute flying up. Zoey fell past him, but Mike quickly reached out and grabbed her with his arms. “Hey, I got you.”
Zoey laughed. “Aw, thanks Mike!” Mike smiled back at her, lifting her up and showing her how to pull the cord. Zoey flew into the air next to him, but both of their smiles fell when they saw Anne Maria falling next to them, where similar to Scott her parachute wasn’t working.
“Urgh!” She exclaimed. Zoey and Mike looked at each other, both silently agreeing on something. Zoey grabbed her own parachute strings to glide over and help Anne while Mike silently flew away from her, whistling to himself inconspicuously.
Slowly, everyone fell into the water with different yells and complains. Chris was standing at the shore, laughing at everyone. “Man, it is so good to be back!”
</>
Everyone had managed to swim their way to the shore. They were all very wet, squeezing the water out of their clothes. Well… everyone except Dawn, who watched everyone dry themselves as a snake slithered from the coastline, holding what was presumably Scott’s parachute, holding it out to which Dawn happily took it.
“HOW the hell do you keep on doing that?!” Scott called out to her.
“My shortcuts are quite easy to take.” She smiled. “Almost as easy as it was for you to eliminate me.”
Scott just rolled his eyes and continued to dry his hair off.
CONFESSIONAL: Dawn
“Such a beautiful place to tell secrets…” Dawn was sitting crossed-legged in a hollowed-out tree stump, with a filtered window that had an enclosed candle sitting on the ledge. “Now, I am not one who gets angry quickly, but Scott’s tormented soul needs to be taken care off! Though…” She suddenly looks worried. “I will admit that he’s not the biggest threat currently. I do hope that it is taken care of soon.”
End of Confessionals.
Chris walked up to the twelve contestants. “Greetings, my dearest contestants! After a whole year, we reunite once more.”
Everyone just sighed, clearly annoying Chris. “Hey! Unlike last time, I’m now legally required to take care of you all.” He folded his arms.
“Wonderful, that means ya can do my cleansing of my clothes!” Anne Maria told him. “And ya better hurry up with it, I need to look fresh as hell for a certain someone!”
Mike quietly backed up from Anne Maria as Chris sighed. “Woah, hold your horses! It’s your personal health, not your appearance! Deal with it yourself.”
CONFESSIONAL: ANNE MARIA
Anne is sitting with folded legs and arms. “Ugh! Why the hell’d I come back here?” Then, she smiled. “Ah, I know damn well why~” Her face flushed, clearly thinking of Vito.
CONFESSIONAL: MIKE
Mike looks around the tree hollow. “Note to self; take off my shirt as little as possible until Anne Maria is eliminated.”
End of Confessionals.
“Anywhose!” He shoved Anne Maria out of the way. “It’s time to focus on more important things. Such as where we are! If you were to take a look behind you, you may figure out where this season is taking place!”
Everyone turned their heads as the camera showed the main skull face on the cliff of Boney Island, all of them gasping upon recognising it. Except for Dawn, the bird she talked to presumably having already told her.
“I thought you said this place was being turned into your private resort!” Brick objected.
“All will be explained, Brick. All will be explained.” Chris shushed him. “Now, onto more important things!”
“Like the money?” Jo asked, holding out her hand. “Finally, you’re just going to give it to me.”
An awkward silence filled the air. Jo sighed and looked to the ground. “Worth a shot.”
Chris ignored it, before clapping his hands in excitement. “Nope! It’s something a bit better. This time, we were given an extra episode in our runtime, so I decided to help prove how good of a host I am by giving you all a once-in-a-lifetime treat. No one is going home tonight!”
Everyone immediately looked happy, cheering in celebration. Chris smiled. “That’s right! Instead, today’s challenge is going to help everyone get used to Boney Island, and to decide the teams!
Chris pulled out a remote and pressed a button, turning on the screen behind him. Static covered the TV as he continued to talk. “As you know from the previous season, Boney Island was supposed to become my personal resort, but that was cancelled after my involuntary trip to prison.” He rolled his eyes. “And since the main island is still being scrubbed down, I thought… why not send my favourite campers to my second-favourite hellscape!”
“Aw man! No toxic waste?” Sam groaned. Staci and B, who were standing closest to him, turned to look at him. “What? I only came back so I could indulge in some toxic waste and become a mutant-” He pulled out a photo of him and Dakota showing it to everyone. “-like my girlfriend, Dakota!”
“Hey, where is Dakota?” Cameron looked around. “If we all came back, why isn’t she here?”
“Two things. First, Sam, while there may be no toxic waste on the island anymore… well, let’s just say we had to move the mutants somewhere. Including our shark friend, Fang!” Scott’s face paled so fast that even Jo looked concerned. “And second, Cameron is right. Dakota isn’t here, per se, rather, she is apart of today’s challenge! But more on that later.”
The screen’s static buzzed to show two large trees. “Now, since you guys actually are legally required for somewhere to stay, and since if I take one step back on Wawanakwa I’ll get sued, we’ve built treehouses for you guys to stay in! And don’t worry, they’re 75% safe.”
CONFESSIONALS: Jo
Jo’s sitting casually in the tree. “Is this really where we have to do confessionals this time? Eh, whatever. And of course we aren’t back at the camp because our Stubble-Sadistic host only cares about money!” Jo scoffed at this. “Doesn’t matter. I’m here to win! I don’t care what challenge Chris throws at me, that million dollars will be mine!” She slammed her fist into her palm while smirking at the camera.
End of Confessionals.
“So! The first challenge.” Chris clapped his hands. “Head to the treehouses and we will discuss it there!” Suddenly, smoke filled the air as Chris revealed he was wearing a jet pack. All the campers covered their mouths and started to cough.
“W-wait!” Mike was somehow able to speak over the smoke, though he was still coughing. “Wh-Where-ergh-are the t-treehouses?”
“In the island’s centre, hurry up!” Chris told him, flying away from the twelve campers. “The challenge will start there. NOW, MOVE IT!”
</>
Soon, the twelve campers were walking through the woods, all looking around in slight fear at the spooky-looking forest.
Sam is trailing behind the group, looking slightly dejected. B is the first to notice, falling back to walk beside him. He tapped Sam on the shoulder, giving him a shrug and pointing at the empty space.
“Oh, Dakota.” B nodded. “Well, she was selected for this season! We both got the notice, but we were told that Dakota wouldn’t fit into the airplane. But he never mentioned anything about her being in the challenge.”
B frowned, resting a hand on Sam’s shoulder and giving him what appeared to be a supportive thumbs up. Sam laughed. “Thanks man. Just hope she’s fine.”
Mike, Zoey and Cameron are already together, walking at the front of the group. Anne Maria is trailing after them, and Mike looks visibly annoyed.
Zoey turned to face Cameron. “Hey, Cam! Can I ask why you’re back? You did win the million last time.”
“Well, I suppose I wanted to share it with everyone again.” Cameron shrugged. “Plus, you and Mike live so far away from me, and my mum’s still scared to let me out the house, so I wanted to see you two again!”
Both Mike and Zoey smile at this. “Missed ya too, buddy.” Mike smiled, before looking to the ground. “Just one more year before you’re allowed out the house…”
Cameron laughed to himself. “Haha…sorry…”
Anne Maria, clearly noticing the fact that Mike wasn’t paying her any attention, fell backwards in the groups line and ended up next to Staci. She looked surprised to see the other contestant. “Hey, girl, why’d you come back?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Staci asked.
“You came last during our last run!” Anne pointed out, poking Staci in her chest. Staci did look a bit disappointed, but she pushed her smile up.
“Ya, ya!” Staci held her hands up. “But I got an actually plan this season! I’m using my family’s influence to help me!”
CONFESSIONAL: Staci
“And I mean it!” Staci is sitting in the confessional as she pulls out a long list that appears to be her entire family tree. “After my elimination I knew I needed a new plan, so I looked into my history and how they learnt their abilities! Like how my great godfather four times removed invested 55% of chess strategies-” The confessional pauses with text at the bottom saying: “Due to viewer retention we have decided to cut Staci’s fourty-five minute long talk about her whole family bloodline.”
End of Confessionals.
“Yuh!” Staci gave two thumbs up. Anne Maria gives her a look, but shrugs and continues to walk along with her and talk to each other off-screen.
Brick, Lighting and Jo are still together, now with Scott walking at the back of them. Scott and Brick are glancing around the forest, which is filled of large spiky trees that seem to change shape.
“Don’t tell me Sir Wets-A-Lot is scared of a forest.” Jo laughed, causing Brick to look slightly embarrassed. “It’s just a forest. Nothing special.”
“Didn’t Chris say he moved the mutants somewhere?” Scott butted in.
Dawn, who’d been walking by herself, walked up to the four. “He did not lie. I can feel them somewhere… but they feel as if they are being restrained, except for one.”
Jo raised an eyebrow. “So, Buttface has them locked up somewhere?” She folded her arms up. “Probably for a challenge, then.”
“But isn’t the island cursed as well?” Lightning stated. “Not that Lightning is scared! Lightning never feels fear! Much like how Lightning never loses!”
“Says the man who came in second place, Whitening!” Jo laughed. “Ooh, that’s one I’m using again.”
“The island’s curse only works if you take something from it.” Dawn explained. “Other than that, the island holds no real otherworldly curses.”
“H-hey, did you say that there was one mutant still roaming the island?” Scott asked Dawn.
“Indeed. I do not know if it is Fang or not.” Dawn told him.
Scott shot her a look. “That’s-I NEVER SAID IT WAS FANG!”
“But your aura! It shows how ever since the last season, your fear of sharks persists you even when you sleep-” Dawn was cut off by Scott shoving her into the bushes. He snickered and walked off as Dawn pushed herself up, sighing before walking to the end of the group next to B and Sam.
It didn’t take long after that for everyone to arrive in a clearing. The same trees from the image before were now in front of them; two large redwood trees with the cabins from last season being built-into the trees, with circular stairs wrapping around the trunks. Off to the left was a third treehouse that resembled a bathhouse.
“ALRIGHT!” Chris was standing in the middle of the two trees with the same TV screen that was on the beach, his jet pack and helmet still over his clothes. “It’s time for your first challenge of this season!”
“For today’s challenge: it’s a climbing race!” Chris explained. “On Boney Island, we have the infamous mountain known as Ribcage Peak.” The camera shows a large mountain that is vaguely shaped like a human’s ribcage, with the tip shaped like a decapitated neck. Similar to the treehouses, a path wrapped around the side.
“All you have to do is make it to the top, grab the flags and head back down. The first two people to do so get to select who goes into whose team. Now there are two ways to climb the mountain. The first is to go the long way around, up the cliff and the steep slope. The second option is to go through the much shorter tunnel up the mountain, but instead of just getting to the top, you’ll have to do a lap around the mountain’s edge before you can grab the flags. Don’t worry, however. You’ll be wearing helmets!”
“Then, everyone has to go down the same path down the middle. Once you make it down, run back to the treehouse and hand your flags to our special guest and like mentioned before, the first two people decide who goes on which team. Any questions?”
“That’s it?” Lightning asks. “Sha-please, that’s barely a challenge!”
“Worry not, my dear Lightning!” Chris laughed. “There will be some extra surprises along the way… but that’s for me to know and for you to find out, preferably in a painfully way!” He laughed. “Now! Let’s start, on three… two… ONE!”
Chris pulled out an air horn and blasted it. “GO!”
Everyone quickly took off.
</>
“Alright, little man, you’re helping me!”
“W-wait, what?” Cameron wasn’t given any choice before Lightning picked him up. He ignored both Mike and Zoey’s objections before he dumped Cameron onto his shoulders and sped off, running past Jo who was at the front of the line. “Hey! I never agreed to this!”
“Doesn’t matter! You’re sticking with me!” Lightning laughed as he ran off.
Jo scoffed and pushed forward. “You ain’t getting away that easy!” The two of them, plus Cameron who’s been thrown over Lightning’s shoulders, head in front of the whole group.
B skids to a stop, while grabbing Dawn by her shoulder. Dawn looked confused but she quickly stopped and seemed to pick up on whatever B was doing without him needing to explain anything. Scott, being Scott, stopped in his tracks and ducked behind a tree to see what he could do to seemingly mess with the plan.
We cut to see that Brick is the first to reach Ribcage Peak. He glanced up at the mountain, firstly at the cave and shuddering at the obvious darkness coming from the cave. However, for a change, Brick straightens up and runs into the cave.
CONFESSIONALS: Brick
Brick is sitting in the tree confessional. “This season, I am not going to let my fears concern me! And if that means that I have to travel through a long… dark cave, then so be it!”
End of Confessionals.
As Brick runs into the cave, we see a shadow fall over him just as he runs into the cave. It’s revealed to be whatever contraption B and Dawn made was a fake jet pack… somehow made of sticks. The two land on the outside path, with B tossing the jet pack off. The two start up the hill together.
Once they run off-screen, we hear Scott groan as he shoves the jet pack off him, revealing that he had hitchhiked along with the other two. “Ow.” Then he smirked. “Now, for the easier path.”
It looks like Scott is about to go back down the path to the cave when Chris flies past. “Hey, dirt boy! No changing paths once you’ve stepped foot on one. Start climbing!”
“What?” Chris just flew off as Scott yelled at him. “Ugh, whatever! I’ll climb this damn mountain…” Scott started up the hill, but got shoved out the way by Jo, who’d managed to catch up.
Lightning and Cameron make it to the mountain next, though it’s very clear Cameron didn’t want to be there as he’s trying to escape his position stuck on Lightning’s shoulder. Lightning skids to a stop and tossed Cameron onto the floor.
“Alright, skinny boy, tell me what way sha-Lightning needs to go!” Lightning turned to face him.
“Finally, I’m free… hold on, you’re asking me?!” Cameron asked, pointing at Lightning and then himself.
“Hey, I want to win this seasons!” Lightning told him. “And you beat me! So, the second best person is going to helping the sha-‘mazing number ONE Lightning getting to the top!”
Cameron sighed. “So, you want me to help you? That’ll take a lot of convincing and trust building, Lightning.”
“Yeah, yeah! I sha-got it! So, Cam shows Lightning which path to go down!” Lightning gestured to the mountain.
Cameron gave him a look, but sighed. “The inside would be easier if it’s just a ring around the top after the inside climb.” He explained. “A shorter walk before a walk around the peak-”
“SHA-YEAH! LET’S MOVE IT!” Lightning sped off. Cameron was picked up again with a cry of “wait, I can still run y’know!” as he was carried into the cave by the other man. Zoey and Mike see this and both follow them into the cave.
CONFESSIONALS: Lightning
“But don’t think that twerp’s getting away with what he did to Lightning last season!” Lightning insisted. “Lightning got humiliated badly and now he needs someone to make sure he stays in the game! And Cam better help me, less he receives the special sha-smash!” Lightning slams his fist into the wall before hollering as the wood gives him a bunch of splinters.
CONFESSIONALS: Cameron
“It’s not that I don’t trust Lightning…” Cameron stared before backtracking. There’ a noticeable bump in the wall from where Lightning punched it previously. “Okay, I don’t trust Lightning. If he’s going to stick around me, I’m going to have to keep my guard up less he beats me up for winning last season.” He shivers slightly. “Even though I offered him some money and he refused.”
End of Confessionals.
The last people to arrive are Sam, Anne Maria and Staci. Staci is actually trying to motivate the other two, but was clearly clearly failing at it.
“Ya, c’mon!” Staci told them. “What path are we going to do?”
“Eh…” Anne Maria shrugged. “Don’t know. And don’t really care.” She pulled out a tin of hairspray from her hair and began to spray, making Sam and Staci cough.
“W-Well, let’s just go through the outside!” Sam suggested. Staci shrugged and followed him, Anne Maria standing there for a second before noticing that the others had ran off. She hurriedly shoved her hairspray back in her hair and chased after them.
They started up the mountain, but Sam quickly stood on a pressure plate in the first few seconds. A hole opened up in the ground and Sam tried to stop in his tracks but he fell into the pit.
“Ah, a classic pit trap!” Staci recounted as Anne Maria caught up. “My second great-great-great godmother made these! Anything down there, Sam?”
“Uh, no!” He called out. “I think it’s a normal pit.”
Staci fell to her knees and a reached out her hand, and thankfully Sam could reach it. But Staci was clearly struggling to pull him out of the hole.
“Urgh…” She panted. Anne Maria sat down next to her, not offering any help and restarting her hair spraying. Chris is shown to be watching these three on a TV screen, as he started to narrate.
“It’s a close race around Ribcage Peak… unless your name is Staci, Sam or Anne Maria.” He recounted. “Let’s see who wins after this commercial break on Total! Drama! Revenge of Boney Island!”
</>
“We’re back! AND JO IS IN THE LEAD!” Chris called through his megaphone. He’s sitting in a couch on the top of the mountain, with the two flags jutting out of some rocks that lie below him. One has a red cockroach on it, the other a green stink bing. “But B and Dawn aren’t that far behind!”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever!” Jo retailed, running up the mountain, yet suddenly she tripped and let out a groan. It’s shown that Jo fell over a tripwire, and then the ground shook as Jo looked up to see a large bolder rolling down the path to her.
“Oh, hell no McLean!” Jo groaned, looking around and spotting a crevice in the mountain, pushing herself up and running into it. “Ain’t getting me that easy!”
Jo managed to squeeze into the crack in time as the bolder rolled past. Off-screen, we hear Dawn let out a squeal, making Jo laugh. She ran ahead again, but immediately tripped over a second tripwire. Chris, who’s watching this on a monitor, breaks into laughter.
“Never mind, I won’t tempt fate anymore! OH HELL NO!” A cannon poked out of the mountain and shot a ball of orange substance onto Jo, who recoiled. “Really? Grease?”
“Well, with no toxic waste, I had to find something else!” Chris mocked her with his speaker. “Now, hurry up! JO’S LOST FIRST PLACE AROUND THE MOUNTAIN!”
“WHAT!?” Just then, Dawn ran past her, followed by B. They both seemed to have dodged the bolder. She snarled and chased after the others.
In the cave, Lightning and Cameron (the latter still stuck being carried by the former) are catching up to Brick, though to be fair, Brick is running a bit slower due to how dark the tunnel appears to be before the three manage to arrive at a large column with a door on the front.
“Huh? Why is there an elevator in the middle of the mountain?” Cameron asked. “Actually, I’m not gonna question that…”
Lightning ran fast, overtaking Brick. “Sha yeah! How does this work?”
Cameron face-palmed. “Just press the button.”
“EASY!” Lightning skidded to a stop and pressed a button on a control panel. As he did, Brick, Mike and Zoey all arrived at the elevator as well.
“Hey!” Zoey told him. “Why’d you steal Cameron from us earlier?”
“He’s Lightning team partner this time around!” Lightning insisted. Cameron made an X with his arms behind Lightning’s back, which Mike and Zoey did notice and gave two thumbs up with some look of confusion. Brick just tilted his head but didn’t object either.
The elevator dinged and all five contestants entered. The next shot has all of them run out of a door in the mountain that was disguised as part of the terrain. Chris looked up from his magazine book at the five of them and tossed it to the side.
“Well, congratulations! You five are the first up here, but as stated, you’ve got to walk around the peak!” Chris gestured to a row of helmets that lay next to a path. “Put these on and march!”
Brick saluted and ran forwards, being the first to put a helmet on. B and Dawn seemed to have kept their lead over Jo as they run up the mountain, which Chris noticed.
“B AND DAWN ARE ARRIVING NEAR THE TOP! But Jo isn’t that far behind!” Jo is revealed to still be covered in grease but that didn’t seem to be slowing her down. As they ran, B fell over to another tripwire and another canon poked out, shooting a bunch of squirrels at him that latched onto his clothing. Jo managed to push past the other two as Dawn stopped to take off the squirrels, who at first were trying to eat B’s clothing but Dawn managed to easily soothe them.
“Oh, Chris’s corruption still falls to animals!” Dawn plucked one of the squirrels and scooped it into her hands. “Do not worry, little one, I shall take you back into nature where you belong!”
The first to reach the outside of the mountain was Brick, who’d tied his helmet on. There was a safety rail that had been installed around a ledge wrapped around the base of the mountain that looked like a decapitated neck.
“Okay, Brick!” He told himself as he slowly climbed down the steps to the railway. “Don’t let the fear of heights consume you! This is for the challenge! Ignore the fact that if you fall, you’ll probably break every single bone in your body…”
Brick continued to talk to himself as the other four people who took the elevator also put their helmets.
Scott was about halfway up the mountain, breathing heavily, when he stepped on a pressure plate that blended into the ground. He stood still and covered his eyes with a squeal.
But nothing happened. Scot slowly pulled his hands away from his face and planted his hands on his hips. “HA! Looks like your traps failed, Chris… hey, where did the sun go?”
A large, shark-shaped silhouette towered behind Scott, who turned around and screamed, running to the right… and straight off the mountain cliff. Chris was watching this go down on a screen, and smirked when Scott fell down the cliff.
“Sure about that, Scott?” Chris laughed. It’s revealed that the shark was just a cut-out of Fang. Chef, who was now sitting next to him on the couch, nudged Chris, who sighed. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll send the medical squad after him, I know.” He pulled out a phone from his pocked and dialled a number.
“…and your pet kitten Fluffball probably can’t do anything with all your fashion-related items you bought after Revenge of the Island-oh, I’m done!” Brick opened his eyes to see that he’d managed to make it around the whole railing. “Oh, yes!”
He ran forward and scooped up the first flag, the one coloured green.
“And Brick is the first to take a flag!” Chris called out, handing his phone to Chef. “Now, all he has to do is make it down the slope and he gets a reward over the second person with the flag!”
“Hey, this is your show, you deal with the kids.” Chef shoved the phone back in Chris’ face. He groaned and took it.
“Yup. Scott’s somewhere in the bushes of the mountain… not sure where. Try and look for him best you can. Okay, bye!” He hung up and Chef rolled his eyes.
Brick ran over to the slope and glanced down. The slope was an almost completely smooth drop that would most likely kill someone if they were to simply slide down it. There were a few rocks that jutted out, meaning if you slid from rock to rock, you could make it down and cross the finish line with your flag.
“Okay!” Brick sat at the edge and slid down to the first rock. “If I can scale around a mountain, I can slide down a slope to the bottom!” He landed on the first rock with a thud, took a second, and pushed himself off to the next one.
At the top, Jo managed to skid to a stop, panting slightly. She spotted the red flag and quickly pulled it from the rocks, running to the slope and sliding down.
“JO TAKES THE SECOND FLAG AND IS NOW AFTER BRICK!” Jo looked up when hearing Chris voice.
“Huh?” She looked down when she landed on a rock to see that Brick was on the third rock out of the seven that were on slope. “Oh, no, you don’t!”
Jo quickly sled down three rocks past Brick, landing onto the fourth one and laughing before she let out a yell. Brick winced as we heard a crack off-screen. He quickly slid down the other two rocks and landed next to Jo, who was lying against the slope and clutching her ankle.
Lightning and Mike were the next to arrive, but noticed that the fact that both flags were gone. Chris lifted his megaphone. “Sorry, but you guys are too late! Our best athletes already scored the winning prize.”
“Sha-please! Lightning’s right here!” Lighting put his hands on his hips as Mike facepalmed.
“He means Brick and Jo.” The other man told him.
“WHAT!?” Lightning gaped, causing a burst of laughter from Chris. Mike sighed.
“So, what are we meant to do?” He asked.
Chris shrugged, trying to muffle his laughter. “E-Either chase Brick and Jo to try and steal the flags, or just sit here and wait for everyone to arrive so you can take the elevator down.”
Mike shrugged and threw off his helmet, going to stand by the elevator. Meanwhile, Lightning took one look down the slope and ran to it.
Meanwhile, Staci, Anne Maria and Sam were still stuck at the pit. Staci huffed, leaning on the edge of the pit.
“Alright! Again. One… two… three!”
Once again, Staci tried to pull Sam out the hole. Once again, they failed.
While we don’t see Sam in the hole, we hear him sigh. “Man, I miss Dakota. She’d lift me outta here in no time, hah! Oh, no offence, Staci…”
“None taken.” Staci looked exhausted, sitting crossed legged and turning to Anne Maria. “Think you can help?”
“Psh, and risk breaking a nail saving Fatso? Nah, I’m alright.” She continued to spray her hair. Staci sighed, but then she seemed to think of something.
“Ya know, one of my relatives who’s alive is a descendant of my great-times-twenty-four who got married to the creator of skin tans?” Staci mentioned. Anne Maria’s neck snapped towards her. “If ya help me free Sam, I’ll get you in contact with them-”
“DEAL!!!” Anne Maria reached her hand into the hole. “Grab on, baby. Annie wants that spray tan secrets!”
“Oh! Uhm, okay?”
She grabbed Sam’s hand and with one pull, managed to take Sam out of the hole. However, the second Sam was out, the two fell backwards and fell onto another pressure plate, that Sam managed to miss last time. A cannon poked out of the mountain that shot a miniature cannonball at Sam, nailing him directly in the head, making Staci and Anne Maria flinched as he hollered in pain and fell backwards, now hanging off the side of the mountain.
“Geez…” Staci hummed.
“So, when can I get that talk?” Anne Maria asked, not worried about Sam.
“Uhm…after the show! Let’s just help Sam for now.” She pushed herself up and ran off screen to help Sam. Anne Maria raised an eyebrow questioningly.
Brick quickly scooped up Jo, lifting her arm onto the shoulder and letting her lean against him to heavy confusion. “What?!”
“No soldier left behind, Jo!” Brick told her. “And that includes you.”
Jo looked… mildly shocked. Brick didn’t dwell on it, taking both of them sliding down the rocks down the last two rocks until they reached the ground, Brick carrying Jo to the finish line. They both clutched their individual flags as they walked past the flag.
“AND JO AND BRICK TAKE THE FLAGS PAST THE VICTORY LINE!” Chris flew over the solider and athlete with his jet pack, who were both on the ground and covered in dirt, Jo with more due to the grease that stuck to her. “That means they’re going to be their team leaders and they get to pick their teams for this season!”
“Wooh!” Jo pushed Brick to the side in celebration, but quickly fell over due to her ankle being twisted at a weird angle. Brick pushed himself up and was going to walk forward, but he stopped and went back to Jo, holding out a hand.
“Here.” Jo raised an eyebrow and scoffed as Brick spoke. “I can carry you to the infirmary if you require it-”
“I’m fine, Brick! Geez…” Jo told him off. Brick just saluted and backed off without a word, handing his flag to Chris.
CONFESSIONAL: Jo
“What was he thinking!?” Jo asked. Her ankle is now patched up with a light cast. “I was fine. A twisted ankle is nothing! I’ve broken an arm and a neck, and I still won that school competition! I don’t need his help.”
CONFESSIONAL: Brick
“Did Jo just call me by my actual name?” Brick blinked.
End of Confessionals.
Chris landed on the ground next to them and took Brick’s flag, but then Lightning suddenly skidded across the ground towards them and rolled past the finished line, his body slightly bruised.
“Lightning?” Brick asked. “You alright?”
“SHA-YEAH!” Despite his injuries, Lightning sat up. “So! Did I win the challenge?”
“Of course not, Whitening!” Jo scoffed, sitting up and waving her flag around in the air. “We’re the winners, not you.”
Lightning groaned. Chris just walked past him and snatched the flag from Jo. “I’ll be taking that! Now, just for tonight, everyone is going to stay in a gendered cabin. Boys on the right, girls on the left. Your stuff is already sorted. But, you three gotta wait for everyone to come down the elevator in the mountain, so! See you there.”
Chris flew away, leaving Jo and Lightning sitting there while Brick stood.
“Wait, the inside of the mountain had an ELEVATOR?” Jo turned to look at Brick and Lightning, who shared a look of pure smugness.
</>
Everyone was sitting at a bunch of stands that were underneath the treehouses. Jo, Lightning, and Scott had all been patched up from their previous injuries. In front of the stands was a large box that was pure black with a golden question mark on it. Chef was standing at the box, holding a key.
Chris walked up to the twelve contestants. “Welcome back, everyone! Hope you enjoyed the challenge today?” No one responded. “Come on, that was much nicer than last season! Have at least some compassion towards me, otherwise I’m getting fired and the feds will send me back to the slammer!”
CONFESSIONAL: Scott
“So that’s why he’s acting sucky-uppy this season!” Scott insulted in the booth, still with his injures. “Honestly, though? Fair. Prison sounds rough. Thanks again for bailing me out of juvie that one time, Pappy.” He winked at the camera.
End of Confessionals.
“ANYWHOSE!” Chris told everyone. “Welcome to the stands! This is where we’ll meet up for challenges most of the time, and for where you might not receive a marshmallow and get voted off the island using this season’s method… but that’ll be a secret for now!”
“It better not be another canon!” Scott called out.
“Fear not, Scott, no canons. That’s now against my contract to send you all flying to your potential deaths.” Chris gave a thumbs up. “Now! After slowing down the footage, we’ve figured out who managed to beat each other over the finish line, and it was… Brick!” Brick pumped his fist in the air. “Meaning he gets a slight advantage over Jo when picking the teams.”
“No fair!” Jo called out. “I was injured!”
“Doesn’t matter, Brick crossed first, he wins.” Chris shrugged before walking off-screen to the box. Jo shot a glare at Brick who looked to the ground in fear. “So, as for your reward Brick! Now, it does come with some slight downsides, being you get six teammates.”
“But there’s only twelve of us.” Anne Maria pointed out.
“Not exactly.” Chris knocked on the box. “Sam, remember how we took Dakota for a lil’ trip when you got picked up?” Sam nodded, putting his game boy away and locking in on whatever Chris was saying. “Well, since Dakota is still registered as a human in…law and stuff, having her in her old form would lead to lawsuits, trials, jail, blah blah blah, all that unimportant crap.” Chris explained. “So I had to do something to help her out.”
“Old form…?” Sam trailed off.
“So! Dakota! We had to de-mutanize her.”
“That’s just… scientifically impossible.” Cameron said. He was sitting next to Lightning, but he was leaning slightly away from him. “Once DNA is completely scrambled by radiation, there’s no way to reverse it without Dakota dying in the process-”
“-but, this show is popular, meaning money.” Chris retaliated. “Meaning we can do… this!”
He nodded to Chef, who unlocked the box. A bunch of smoke poured out from the box that made everyone cough again.
“Granted, you are right Cameron.” Chris told him. “The scientists said they couldn’t fully fix Dakota. But apparently this is the best they could do.”
The smoke cleared to show that Dakota was sitting on a chair, her legs crossed. Her appearance had changed tremendously: she was much shorter than before, but still around seven feet tall. Her skin colour had returned to normal, but with her spikes jutting from her elbows and shoulders and spiky green hair in the shape of her old hairstyle. She still was wearing the outfit she was last seen in during Revenge of the Island.
“Your reward…is Dakota!” Chris laughed. “Brick gets a half-mutated powerhouse on his team, but in exchange, his team will only get six players.”
“I’ll take it!” Brick saluted. “Welcome to the team, solider!”
“Okay!” Dakota saluted. “Ooph, my head hurts… I think I was unconscious for ages.”
Cameron’s jaw was slack open. “That-huh-what. What the actual friggn heck am I seeing?”
“Money can do anything, my dear Cameron.” Chris smiled. Dakota slowly stood up, albeit a bit dizzy. She looked up to see Sam sitting up straight with a dopey smile. Dakota squealed and ran over to him, jumping over the bench stand into the first row with ease and kissing him passionately.
“It’s been ten seconds…” Staci leaned away.
“Their souls have been searching for each other since their separation!” Dawn giggled. “How romantic!”
“Sam!” Dakota grinned, pulling her face away to talk briefly. “Oh, I missed you so much…”
“Hey, girl of my dreams.” He smirked. “Looking as radiant as always.”
“Dakota!” Zoey, who was sitting on the stand above Sam, leaned down. “Are you feeling alright? Chris said you went under surgery.”
“Please, nothing can stop her.” Jo pointed out.”
Dakota smiled awkwardly. “Ah, I don’t remember anything, but I feel better! I can talk normally again, and thank the Lord for that!”
“Yes, yes, how touching.” Chris clearly didn’t care about the reunion. He clapped his hands and got everyone’s attention back on him. “Love is amazing, you all adore each other. Save it for the show’s break. Now, you’re all free to retire back to your treehouses tonight! So sleep well for tomorrow’s challenge, everyone!”
Everyone slowly stood up and moved to leave. Lightning simply stood up and walked off without any help, Cameron sneaking away from him. Scott tried to stand up and immediately fell over from his leg in a cast.
Brick pushed himself up and jumped off the stand from the second row, but stopped and turned his head to see Jo glaring daggers into the back of his head. “Can I help you?”
“What were you doing earlier?” Jo asked, steeping down from the front row of her stand.
Brick shrugged. “Helping you. Like I said, no soldier left behind, Jo. That’s an order!”
“And, G.I. Faker isn’t worried that’ll bite him in the ass like last season?” Jo asked. Brick just shrugged.
“I made my choice. And might I remind you that it was you who eliminated me last season, not because of the fact I saved multiple peoples lives?”
Jo shrugged. “Just saying. Now that we’re on opposite teams, I can’t wait to make sure you lose soon as possible.”
“Oh, really?!”
The two continued to bicker as the camera cut to Chef and Chris, who were standing at the now open box.
“Ooh, tension already! I love it!” Chris laughed. “How long will it take before Jo and Brick duke it out? My money’s on episode three.” He looked over at Chef, who shrugged.
“Episode six. Wager twenty bucks?”
“Deal! Let’s see who ends up winning this bet… find out more next episode on Total! Drama! Revenge of Boney Island!”