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fuck me with a Pringles can I guess

Summary:

Dazai has been genuinely pissing chuuya off for a while, chuuya decides to vent his anger through questionable things

Notes:

I wrote this during class don’t expect this to be amazing <3

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Cylinder

Chapter Text

Blood dripped down the slick of dazai’s skin as he folds over, onto his knees after chuuya delivered a hell of a punch to his stomach with a side of a split lip. Dazai may have been slightly too bitchy for Chuuya’s taste over the past few days, and he may have mentioned Chuuya’s dead friends in their little quarrel. Despite Dazai’s constant spouting of ‘hatrack’ and ‘leprechaun’ is getting repetitive, but Chuuya put up with it for at least a week, which might have pushed it over the edge.

 

“Nggnn.. chibis being aggressive..” Dazai is really pulling at the strings.

 

Dazai felt the weight of Chuuya’s leather encased foot press against his groin, Chuuya stepping harder with every passing moment, occasionally grinding his foot against Dazai’s hardening shaft.

 

“Tch, shitty masochist.”

 

The words Chuuya spat out ignited a flame in Dazai’s gut, drawing out a barely audible whine.

 

The pressure on his groin was released when Chuuya gave Dazai a kick on his side before nudging him, pushing his torso to the marble ground of Chuuya's apartment, causing Dazai to lay flat on his back.

Chuuya sat himself on the edge of the plush bed, near where Dazai was laying down, patting his lap, signaling Dazai to come over.
When Dazai is still, bathing in the aftershock of the beating, Chuuya picks him up and throws him onto the plush mattress, Dazai landing spread on his stomach.

“Do I really have to do everything?”

 

“I didn’t consent to chibi manhandling me!!”

 

“you didn’t?”

 

“…”

 

“I did”

 

Chuuya takes that as his green light to continue, already scrambling for Dazai’s zipper. Now that Chuuya is undressing Dazai, (furiously ripping off his attire) Dazai’s skin is littered with bruises and small wounds, most caused by the beating earlier, apart from the ones Dazai inflicted on himself and presumably more that are covered by bandages.

As Chuuya reaches for Dazai’s bandages, he pauses and glances at Dazai, looking for a twinge of unease in his expression, Dazai gives the slightest nod. Approved, Chuuya begins to unravel the loosely wrapped gauze.
Chuuya doesn’t take his eyes off of Dazai’s face, attentive to any distress he might cause, given that Dazai is like tissue paper, torn apart by the slightest of mishandling. Maybe toilet paper because he’s stinky as fuck.

Chuuya is being overly considerate, although he can’t help it. Which doesn’t change a thing, he’s still fueled by hate for this mackerel.

Dazai is completely bare by now, still laying on his stomach with his limbs spread like a buffet, his pink rim looking especially appetising.
The view is explicit and inviting, especially to Chuuya because of the bruises across Dazai’s body.

Chuuya runs a finger down Dazai’s crack, brushing over his rim and sliding down onto his cock. dazai gasps at the contact, trying to shut his legs around Chuuya's arm.

 

“Behave.”

 

Chuuya smacks Dazai across his inner thigh as a warning, earning a light whimper.

 

“But you’re the doggg!!” Dazai whined

 

Chuuya's anger is at its boiling point, he wants to pan grill this mackerel right there and then, but then again, he has other ways to punish that stupid idiot that Chuuya thinks Dazai would enjoy more.

He spots a full sized empty Pringles can sitting at the edge of his bedside table, truly, Dazai is such a mess sometimes. He doesn’t have any toys on hand so maybe it could substitute. It may not be the most normal thing to do, but who the fuck cares about normalcy?

Chuuya reaches over to grasp the Pringles can, and he presses it against Dazai’s rim. Dazai is enveloped by the sensation of a dull object pressing against his entrance, which he knew immediately wasn’t Chuuya’s cock. It was much thicker in width and less warm.

 

“Chuu.. what is that?”

 

“Chu-“

 

 

Dazai was cut off by the agonizing ring of his own scream. The cylinder was being shoved into him, and he swore he could feel it splitting him apart from the inside. The stretch didn’t end as Chuuya continued pushing the can.

Tears welled at the corners of Dazai’s eyes and streamed down droplet by droplet, wetting the mattress at the same time as his pre did beneath him.

And of course, Chuuya notices.

 

“Hurts?”

 

“Mmn!.. hurts.. fuck..”

 

“Good.”

 

Despite saying that, Chuuyas’ invasive thrusts slow down, oscillating at a much tender rhythm.

 

Dazai could feel the liquid trickle down his thigh as it lubricated the object, making it no less painful, but pleasure began to spark in his gut as the object began to hit a spot buried inside of Dazai’s flesh, honestly, anything that reaches deep enough inside of him feels like heaven, but that sensitive spot right there is pure ecstasy.

 

It’s even worse now that Chuuya is sloppily biting Dazai’s inner thigh all while thrusting the cylinder in and out of Dazai, still with a bit of difficulty since the can is massive after all. Chuuya’s mouth wanders to Dazai’s half hard shaft and nibbles at the tip, occasionally biting down, causing Dazai to jolt in pleasure-infused pain.

Dazai didn’t quite realize he was shamelessly whimpering until the embarrassment had set in, and his ears turned pink.

 

 

There is a time where multitasking is a skill that can be put to great use as Chuuya is tempted to stroke his own growing erection, but he decides to not give in to temptation. Dazai’s whimpers are growing more erratic, as his entrance clenches tighter.

 

“Ch-chuu- I’m gonna..”

 

Chuuya abruptly drags the Pringles can out of Dazai’s anus, Dazai groans at the loss of contact.

 

“F-Fuck! Fuck you..”

 

“On the floor”

 

“Hmnn..”

 

“Now. Shitty Dazai.”

Dazai plops onto the cold marble floor, on his knees.
Chuuya is finally able to free his own erection, his cock springing out the second he takes his boxers down.

Dazai is almost stunned frozen as the shaft is hovering above him, Chuuya occasionally tapping dazai’s lip with his tip. Dazai has seen Chuuya’s cock countless times. Since they were 18, they’ve been fucking every chance they get, despite the familiar cock Dazai is being tasked upon pleasing, he is always stunned by the sheer size, complimented by the veins running down the shaft. Chuuya’s height might be short, but those inches went somewhere else.

Chuuya has no patience to take it slow, among all the virtues, patience is the particular one he lacks. He nudges dazai’s lip with his tip.

 

“Open.”

 

Dazai parts his mouth, allowing Chuuya to fully hollow out inside Dazai’s throat in one thrust. Chuuya knows it’s too much for him to handle in one thrust, but that’s the point of a punishment.

Dazai immediately gags, a revolting gag that sent shivers across his nerves, tear streaks that were once dry now wet again.
The back of dazai’s throat is warm and wet, hugging chuuya’s cock snuggly, which distracts from the desperate taps on the side of his hip coming from dazai.

The arousal pooling in Chuuya's gut overpowers the need to consider Dazai’s throat. Dazai repeatedly gags because of Chuuya’s tip hitting the back of his throat before he can even finish gagging.

At times like this, Chuuya likes to simply bury his cock in Dazai’s throat to appreciate the warm sensation of his mouth.

Chuuya pulls out to give dazai a breather, tapping the precome-slicked, damp shaft against his cheek.

He shoves it back in, plummeting into dazai’s face.

 

 

The corner of Dazai’s lips are beginning to hurt as he attempts to widen his mouth to accommodate Chuuya's thickness. His jaw is sore, now becoming numb, he is reminded of his fucked up ass when his entrance pressed against his foot, the aching is becoming more unbearable with time and it does not make it any better that Chuuya is currently shoving into his other end.

Chuuya’s fingers are intertwined with the brunette's hair, using his strength to hold his head in place, Dazai’s once dry and voluminous hair has become slick with sweat, sticking to his forehand and parts of his face.

Dazai’s hands find their way around Chuuya’s hips, reeling him closer while submissively taking the face-fuck.

The brunettes' tears are unintentionally lubricating the friction between Chuuya’s cock and Dazai’s split lip, mixing with the precome foaming between every thrust.

 

 

Dazai is gagging less now, which makes it a lot easier for them both, Chuuyas’ thrusts become more irregular as he nears his climax, his thrusts growing unpredictable, before he starts speeding up, pounding into dazai’s face like an animal.

Chuuya spills into dazai’s mouth, semen spilling out the sides. Chuuya pulls out with ease, enjoying the pop noise it makes before Dazai eagerly licks it up with his tongue.

 

“Blehh..”
Dazai sticks out his semen-covered tongue for emphasis

 

“Shut the fuck up.”

 

“I didn’t even get to cum!!”

 

Dazai’s jaw and ass were a little overworked today.

 

—————————————

 

Notes from beta reader:
I hope you know, a large size pringles can (which is what Chuuya is using on Dazai) is about 10 inches (25.4 cm) long. And a human anus can take up to 3 to 4 inches safely, 7 inches maximum before tearing, any more than that is beyond prolapse (← don’t search this up) that is death. Yeah Dazai is DEAD dead atp so uhhh yay? I hope i didn’t ruin your ao3 immersion.