Chapter Text
SEPTEMBER 2003
Katie:
stop fucking sweating Kathryn, you'll be fine
I kept chanting like a mantra in my head as I entered the Tommen gates, if Aoife was here she probably wouldve strutted in like everyone here was blessed to see her, which they most totally were, and Casey would keep her head high on the hunt for her next conquest.
Well im not confident like Aoife and im not drop-dead gorgeous like Case.This morning as I tried to tame the ginger bush that is my curls, all that was racing through my head was what if they all hate me? What if it's exactly like the bloody nunnery that was my primary school? Where I was bleeding invisible, watching every girl get boyfriends, party,do normal teenage things.
Aoife promised that here it'll be different, a clean slate she said.Hey I could be as loud and bubbly as I wanted when I was around someone I trusted, not that there were many people I trusted in this world, but you get my point. All I have to do is show this prissy rugby prep school who Kathryn Wilmot could be.
I wipe my clammy hands on my navy skirt as I gain the confidence to enter the dauntingly massive building that was my new school, c'mon Katie I thought you belong here, you won that scholarship.
I push the wooden double doors, raising my chin up and walk straight into
a wall?
Patrick:
"what the fuck"
A tiny red head crashed into my chest, clattering to the floor like a baby deer.
"Bloody hell,i am so so so-"
I look down and saw a girl the spitting fucking image of Michelle Tratchenburg but ginger?
Jesus Mary Joseph and the donkey
"ah fuck pat" Hughie sighed from right next to me " knocking down girls on our first day, I know you're a quote un quote ladies man but you have to learn self preservation lad"
The girl stared up at me with watery eyes, lord this girl had eyes. Deep as the fucking ocean but the colour of the forest right after first light.who the fuck was this girl.
Before I could even collect my fucking thoughts, the girl cried out "why'd you fucking do that. that really hurt you eejit"
Her arms were flailing around as she spoke from her place on the floor, she looked completely utterly stupid.
My heart softened at the sight of the tiny red head infront of me,"shit I am so sorry, erm what's ur name" i said reaching out my had to try pull her up
Swatting my hand away she rose herself up onto her feet "Kathryn Katie ughhh", she groaned swaying on her feet as if she's just gotten off the worst roller coaster of her life.
"Well Kathryn Katie let me help, its only fair me being a chivalrous gentleman and all" I reached for her books, our hands meeting for the briefest second, to the outside world it might've seemed like nothing,however to me-the world around me melted down into mush and those forest green eyes were all I could see.
Her lips looked as if she just at she'd just eaten a whole bowl of summer cherries, plump as if they were swollen from her chewing on her bottom lip-which was slightly fuller than her top giving her a sort of adorable pouty look. If she wasn't bleeding frowning at me right now I'd say, in my humble opinion, she was the most beautiful person id ever seen in my life.
And her eyes, those fucking eyes, I felt as if id never recover. God what sort of sickness did this girl give me.
"Well if its worth anything,I'm Hugh Biggs and this fucker that just knocked u down id Patrick feely" Hughie said reminding me that Kathryn Katie and I most definitely weren't in a dream.
We were crouched in the middle of the bleeding hallway for Christs sake.
"Thanks Hugh but its not worth much thanks, id better be off I don't want to be late on my first day-thanks for knocking me down Patrick. erm I mean helping me up ugh yeah you know what I mean",she trailed off muttering as she sped down the hallway.
I wasn't sure what that was but something in my bones tell me that Kathryn Katie would be the new hot topic in my brain
Katie:
what the actual shite is wrong with me
"I just walked into that guy and I was so mean to him, I kid you not when he reached for my hand I swatted it away, like it was a fucking insect", I moaned over the phone as I recalled the days events to Aoife.
"It cantve been that bad Katie-i mean you had just been knocked over. Maybe when you were down there you brain got sloshed around I dunno" Aoifes response came muffled over the line
After my horrid encounter with those two boys, the rest of the day seemed to go by smoothly. I spoke to maybe 1 person, this amazing sunshiney girl called Claire, but other than that I was alone. Again.
I sat in the music room that Mr Twomey had shown me during my tour that morning after registration and played. That was the only constant in my life, music.
Tucking a stray curl behind my ear, revealing all my various piercings and gripped the neck of my guitar,relaxed my fingers on the chords. As, I started to play the starting notes of "Just like heaven" by the cure- I lost myself in the music.
The familiar notes rang out in my brain, my lips parted as I sang the lyrics. Suddenly, everything around me was gone, all that was left was my guitar, my voice and the song
spinning on that dizzy edge
kissed her face and kissed her head
Dreamed of all the different ways
I had to make her glow
"why are you so far away",she said
"why won't you ever know that im in love with you
that im in love with you"
The song ended and I was instantly transported back to reality, when I sing I feel..I don't know different somehow. Like I turn into my ride of an alter ego, like I transform completely.
The bell rang out completely ridding me of my post song bliss.
"Katie are you 100% sure that you don't want to come out with me and Case, c'mon private school girl don't forget your roots"Aoife said over the line snapping me out my thoughts.
"Um im not sure Aoif, I'll ask" don't fucking bother you know the answer . Tip-toeing down the stairs seeing my dad's girlfriend of the week passed out in a puddle of her own vomit, my father passed out on the couch. As silently as I could I reached for my father's pulse when I felt his heart beating at a steady rhythm I checked his girl. Her blonde hair was sticking to her forehead with her makeup of the day -well most likely night- smudged and half melted off. I couldn't help but hate them, mainly him.
WHY I wanted to scream WHY WONT YOU PUT THE FUCKING BOTTLE DOWN AND JUST LOOK AT ME? WHY WONT YOU JUST STAY SOBER AND STAY WITH ME?
why?
why?