Archive of Our Own

The phone rings. She takes the call.

“Cleaners HQ front desk. Semiu speaking, how may we be of help to you?”

The voice on the other end sounds tense.

“I know this isn't really your jurisdiction, but I thought you'd like to be involved since… one of the bodies is wearing your uniform”

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Jabber bounced around supercharged with energy.

“What's wrong with him? I know he isn't exactly right in the head, but this is a lot even for him”

Bundus looked slightly bewildered as he watched Jabber dance around, cackling to himself, dreads spreading out around him like a carousel.

Momoa shrugged her shoulders.

“His boyfriend’s coming back today. They haven't seen each other in a month or something”

Boyfriend? That was a peculiar way to put it. Jabber didn't think Zanka was his boyfriend. No, no, the blue eyed cleaner was way more than that. Way more than any of them could ever know.

Jabber never would have imagined that they'd end up in whatever this was. In fact, if you had told him a few years ago that he'd not only be seeing a cleaner romantically, but that he’d also let said cleaner wear his precious rings and touch his hair, he'd probably maul you with Mankira’s blades.

At the beginning everything was simple: fight until one of them—usually the cleaner—was incapacitated, then schedule another dangerous playdate.

That's all it had been, fighting and getting what they wanted from each other, which for Jabber was a good fight and for Zanka, was growing stronger and unlocking more of his suppressed potential.

But as weeks turned to months and months to years, something shifted between them.

It started with meeting up without the intention of fighting , then helping each other take care of injuries sustained during their fights—something that unsettled Jabber at first.

All those subtle changes that they both pointedly ignored, until they shared a kiss one day, and the rest was history.

Jabber couldn't understand, much less put a name to, what he felt for Zanka. He wanted to hurt him, feel Mankira sink into his skin and inject him with her toxins. He wanted to see him reeling from the effects of the poisons fed into his system.

Jabber wanted Zanka to whack him and throw him around with that beautiful stick of his. He wanted Zanka to beat him up, pound his face with those pretty hands, break his bones, call him derogatory words.

But at the same time, Jabber wanted to hold Zanka close, bury his face in his neck and inhale that calming scent of incense that always clung to him. A sharp contrast to Jabber's own chemical stench.

Jabber wanted to treat Zanka right. Jabber wanted to make him smile and laugh, just as much as he wanted to make him cry. Maybe more than.

Jabber wanted to see Zanka's face take on that soft edge it always did when he was relaxed and comfortable. Jabber wanted Zanka to be happy.

Jabber wanted Zanka to hold him close, touch his face with tenderness, as he whispered soft words of affection into the raider's ear.

He wanted Zanka to look at him with that twinkle in his eyes, like Jabber was all that mattered to him. Jabber wanted to laugh with him, to be part of his life and all the ups and downs.

Despite knowing each other for five years, and being together for three, Jabber was still learning how to care for someone, how to accept affection and show his own.

He was doing his best, but he felt like it wasn't enough. He wanted Zanka to see just how much he cared about him. How much he cherished him.

He was going to propose… well, not actually propose, just give Zanka a sort of promise ring. The ring of choice being Mankira.

To Jabber, giving Zanka his most cherished object, a literal piece of his soul, said far more than words ever could.

Jabber was still dancing around when his choker chirped. He almost had a heart attack from the pure joy that coursed through his veins.

He answered the call immediately.

“Jab?”

Jabber could feel his heart melting.

Zanka had been away for almost two months because of some mission and they barely had any time to talk to each other during that period. So hearing his voice, knowing that he was finally back, made Jabber's dopamine shoot through the roof.

“Yo! My man, you back in town?”

Jabber heard the cleaner chuckle. He wasn't sure what was so funny, but it sounded like music to his ears.

“Yeah. Ya know where ta meet me. See ya there”

Of course he knew where to meet him. It was the only location that Jabber committed to memory despite his trouble with directions. He knew the way there and back by heart.

Before the call even ended, Jabber was already bolting out of the raiders’ den.

“Damn. It's good to be young”. Bundus chuckled and shook his head.

Momoa didn't say a word, she just went back to reading her book.

When Jabber got there, he hid behind a medium sized hill of trash and admired his ‘boyfriend’, as Momoa put it.

Jabber could never get tired of the cleaner's face. His features were sharp and cleancut, only ever softening when Zanka smiled, or when he looked at Jabber.

His blue tassle earrings always complimented his already ethereal look. His blonde and brown hair had gotten longer and looked like a wolf cut.

Jabber liked it.

The cleaner turned his back to Jabber, probably looking at something. Jabber took the opportunity to pounce on him.

“Zan-zan!”

Jabber dropped onto Zanka's shoulders like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Zanka yelped at the sudden weight on his back.

“Ya sick fuck! If I didn't know yer stupid chemical scent, I woulda whacked ya in the skull. Get off a’ me, yer heavy”

Jabber grinned from ear to ear and let out a soft cackle.

He buried his face in the crook of Zanka's neck. “I know ya missed me, Zannie. And I missed ya too”

Jabber felt the cleaner tense, then relax, letting out a sigh.

“It ain't easy ta go two months without seeing yer stupid face when I’m used ta seeing it almost all the time”

Jabber knew that was the closest Zanka'd come to saying ‘I missed you too’, but it was enough for him.

Jabber finally let go. Zanka turned around, and they both looked at each other for a moment, observing the changes that had occured over the time they'd spent apart.

Jabber noticed a small nick on the cleaner's ear and a few light scratches on his cheeks, that thankfully didn't look like they'd scar. Even though he'd still look beautiful no matter what happened to his face.

Jabber was sure Zanka had noticed that his locs were in need of a retwist—which the raider could have done himself, but he’d grown to love the way Zanka handled his hair so tenderly.

Jabber wasn't sure which one of them moved first, but they met in the middle in a teeth clattering kiss.

It started out a mess of tongue and teeth, but eventually transitioned to something more tender, full of unspoken words and burning desire.

Jabber moved his hands to Zanka's hips, and attempted to press their bodies against each other, but the cleaner shoved him away and broke the kiss.

Jabber pouted in dissatisfaction, then raised his brows in surprise and amusement as he watched Zanka's eyes glow an alluring blue.

“Don't get me wrong, I missed the feel of yer body on mine, but I missed ‘Kira just as much”

Jabber felt something bubble inside him faintly. Is this what jealousy felt like? He was jealous of his own rings?! He let out a dark chuckle, his fingers consumed by pink flames.

“You're so mean, babe. Thought ya missed me, but all this time, you were just usin' me ta get ta 'Kira. That's cold, even for you”

Jabber lunged forward, Mankira in her larger form.

“Sorry. Guess I got favorites”

The screech of metal against metal rang throughout the area.

Jabber was trying to stab Zanka, fill him with neurotoxins and make the cleaner beg for his forgiveness. How dare he make Jabber jealous?! And of his precious Mankira no less! Zanka could be so cruel sometimes.

One of Mankira's blades was about to sink into the cleaner's skin, and she would have succeeded, if Jabber hadn't stepped and slipped on a piece of plastic.

The raider fell onto his back and was immediately pinned down.

He glared up at Zanka when the cleaner started laughing.

Jabber felt offended. “Shut up”

The laughing increased. Jabber pouted, not amused in the slightest.

Why was Zanka such a jerkish asshole sometimes?

Zanka released Jabber and stepped back. Big mistake.

Jabber pounced on him and they both fell to the ground. The raider put a hand behind the cleaner’s head, to protect it as they fell.

The cleaner landed flat on his back and Jabber immediately straddled him. He glared at his boyfriend pinned down by his hips, still laughing at him.

Zanka finally stopped, looking at Jabber with tear filled eyes.

“I'm sorry. Ya just look like a puppy when yer pouting. I couldn't help it”

Jabber frowned. Seeking vengeance, he unzipped the cleaner's uniform just enough to expose his neck and chest. Locking unto a target, the raider dove in.

Pinning Zanka's hands down, Jabber lowered his head and let his teeth sink into the cleaner's neck.

A low groan escaped Zanka's lips, as his hips twitched under Jabber.

The raider didn't let go until the coppery taste of blood filled his mouth.

He leaned back and ran his tongue across his bloodstained lips as he admired his work. Beautiful, just like the rest of him.

Zanka's eyes were soft, filled with something close to love, but not quite. It was too raw, too tainted, too passionate to be love. Yet, it was soft enough to be compared to it.

Magenta eyes beheld blue ones as they both took a moment to engrave each other's features into their minds once more.

Jabber unpinned Zanka's hands and brought one of them close to him, planting soft kisses on it from the wrist to the ring finger.

“Jabber”

Jabber felt his heart flutter and swell at the same time. He hadn't heard his name get called with such softness in two months.

If he were to die right now he'd have no regrets besides leaving his cleaner all alone. But Jabber was sure that Zanka'd probably follow him in death. That'd be so romantic.

Jabber kissed Zanka's palm and nuzzled his cheek in it.

“I wanted to see ya so bad, I thought I was gonna die. But instead all ya want from me is ‘Kira”

The last part carried an emotion that was foreign to Jabber. It was something between anger and sadness? He didn't know.

Jabber watched something in Zanka's expression shift, softening even more. The cleaner brushed his thumb over Jabber's cheek and the raider leaned into the touch, narrowing his eyes in satisfaction.

“Didn't mean ta be an asshole, just wanted ta joke around a little. I wanted ta see ya too. Missed yer stupid face so much it almost hurt”

Jabber felt his heart squeeze.

“You're gonna give me a heart attack”

“How?”

Jabber turned his face away in a futile attempt to hide his darkening cheeks.

A hand grabbed his jaw and turned his head back to its previous position.

Jabber hesitantly met the breathtaking blue eyes that looked at him like he was the most precious thing in the world.

“Stop looking at me like that”

“Like what?”

Like I'm what you cherish most in this world.

Jabber didn't say a word. He finally remembered what he planned to do. Was now a good time? Who cares! He never planned things well anyway.

He unceremoniously slid one of Mankira's rings off his finger and took Zanka's hand in his.

Zanka gawked at him in disbelief.

“Jabber, what're you–”

Before the rest of the cleaner's sentence could make its way to his tongue, the ring was already on his finger, his ring finger.

“I know you'll keep her safe and take care a’ her, just like you take care a’ me”

“Jab…. I….”

“You said that ya can't return gifts. She's a gift from me ta you”. A piece of my soul that I'm willing to give you.

Before Jabber could process what was going on, his lips were captured in a tender kiss that spoke in volumes what words could never convey.

He melted into it, surrendering completely. He could live with this. The warmth in his heart threatened to melt the rest of his insides into sappy, sticky goo.

When he was finally released from the kiss that could only be described as heavenly, he once again took a moment to admire the man beneath him. His man. His and his alone.

“Yer so beautiful, Jab”. Zanka ran a hand through Jabber's locs, fingers teasing the sensitive scalp beneath it.

Jabber twitched, a shiver running down his spine. He was suddenly aware of the heat beginning to pool in his gut.

He rocked his hips once, slowly. The blue eyed man beneath him twitched, a soft sigh escaping his lips. Jabber did it again, a little harder this time. A low groan was his reward.

Slowly Jabber picked up the pace, grinding himself against the man beneath him, soft groans leaving both of them.

“Jabber”. Zanka looked up at him and gently caressed Mankira's rings.

Jabber let out a slightly annoyed sigh. Slightly, because he loved the pleading expression on the cleaner's face.

Pink anima enveloped a single finger. “Fine, since ya want it so bad”

He was about to give his man exactly what he wanted, when everything suddenly froze.

The last thing he saw, the last thing that engraved itself in his mind, was the absolutely horrified expression on Zanka's face…. Was it horrified or devastated? Maybe it was both.

No, don't look at me like that. I want to see you smile. Please.

The darkness swallowed him whole.

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“Do I really have to go, Semiu ? Y'know what today is”

Riyo frowned as she looked at the bespectacled receptionist.

Semiu looked almost apologetic, almost.

“I'm fully aware of what day it is, and I'm also aware that we have a job to do as cleaners. I'm sure you're aware of this also, Riyo”

Her voice took on a softer tone.

“I know you want to be the first person to welcome Zanka when he gets back with the others, but the safety of citizens and your job as a cleaner come first”

Semiu was right. Riyo sighed and gave in.

“Fine. I'll just have to be quick”

Riyo left HQ with two other givers and a few supporters. The mission was a simple one that involved wiping out some medium sized trashbeasts that had wondered too close to a town.

Had it been any other time, Riyo wouldn't have put up such resistance. Why she was very against going on a mission on this particular day was because Zanka was finally returning to HQ with Enjin and the others after two months of being on a mission.

Of course their return was an event that called for some celebration, but what really made her reluctant to be out when they returned, was the information she wanted to get out of him before he retreated to the safety of his room or wherever it was that he'd been running off to for the past few years.

The information she wanted had something to do with the fact that she and Gris had encouraged Follo to confess to Zanka.

Riyo was sure that he wasn't into women, sometimes she wasn't sure if he was into anyone. But she'd been noticing little changes in his behavior.

Sometimes Zanka's face softened into what almost seemed like fondness, other times his face held small, almost unnoticeable smiles. All of which occured whenever Follo was nearby.

At first she couldn't believe it, but after observing him for almost a year, she was certain of it. Zanka had feelings for Follo.

Led on by the assumption that Zanka was acting that way because of his feelings, she egged Follo on with Gris’ support.

And so, Follo—if things went down like they were supposed to—was going to confess on the last day of the mission, which happened to be yesterday.

Riyo needed all the details. She needed to know everything that went down and if Follo’s confession was accepted or not. And if not, then why.

She knew that Zanka'd probably try to hide from her, which was why she wanted to be there immediately their party returned. To bad her plans were changed.

Luckily for Riyo, the trashbeasts were easier to deal with than she thought, and fueled by the determination to get back to HQ early, she made quick work of the them.

When all the beasts were taken care of she told the rest of her party that she was going to scout the area to see if there were any escapees. A job worth doing is worth doing well.

The area around the town was pretty unfamiliar. She hadn't been to this part of the Ground before.

She'd wandered a little too far, unable to see her party anymore, and decided to go back, when she caught something from the corner of her eye.

About fifty meters away were two figures. From what she could make out, one was straddling the other.

Wait a minute! She recognized that stick! Was that Zanka?! And that psychopathic masochist?!

Riyo felt her body twitch, a frown gracing her face immediately.

Zanka can take care of himself, she told herself He'd grown stronger over the years. She knew this, yet she couldn't stop the pure rage that flowed through her veins as she recalled all the times that he had come back bloodied and bruised with neurotoxins in his system.

Riyo told herself that she'd just observe. She wouldn't interfere, just watch. She could do that. She believed in Zanka's abilities, he could get himself out of this situation.

But the moment she saw a flash of pink and a claw reaching for Zanka's chest, everything she'd said to herself flew out the window. Her next actions were based on pure instinct.

She retrieved her Beretta from where she always stashed it in her jacket and aimed. She pulled the trigger.

Riyo Reaper never misses her shot.

She sprinted over to Zanka almost immediately.

“Zan! Are you okay? I–”

The sight that greeted her made her freeze.

Zanka sat on the floor, cradling the now dead raider in his arms, a storm of emotions clouding his features.

“Zanka?”

Riyo was confused. What the hell was going on here?

Zanka seemed to finally register her presence and looked up at her, but his gaze hardened the moment his eyes landed on the gun in her hand.

“You…. You did this?”

Riyo had never heard such devastation or confusion in his voice.

“Zanka, you're probably pumped full of neurotoxins right now. Let's get back to–”

“Shut up”

“What?”

“Shut. Up. I need ta think”

Riyo's mind was working over time trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

Why the hell was Zanka acting like this over the raider's death?

She tried to speak again.

“Z–”

Zanka raised his vital instrument to her neck, its inverted spikes just a few centimeters shy of breaking skin.

Her breath hitched and her eyes widened in utter disbelief. He was actually threatening her?! What the fuck was going on?!

“I said SHUT. UP! I need ta THINK!”

His voice reduced to something softer.

“Just let me think”

Riyo kept her mouth shut.

After a few minutes, Zanka moved Assistaff away from her neck and deactivated her, seathing her on his back.

With a gentleness she'd never seen before him use before, Zanka carried the deceased raider in his arms, holding the body close.

Zanka began to walk away. She took a step forward, attempting to follow him, but he paused and looked over his shoulder. The emptiness in his eyes made her freeze in place.

“Don't follow me. I can't promise that more blood won't be shed if ya do”

With that he walked away with the corpse cradled carefully in his arms.

Riyo's choker chirped.

When she got back to HQ, Riyo was completely out of it. She ignored Semiu and Gris, who were having a conversation at the front desk when she arrived.

“Riyo? You good?”

Semiu looked at her, clearly concerned. Gris wore the same worried expression on his face.

“Yeah”, came her faint answer.

They obviously weren't convinced, but they didn't push.

“Zanka isn't here. He went out a while ago to see someone. Said he might be gone till tomorrow”

Riyo nodded vaguely, barely registering what she said.

She didn't even go see Enjin. She just made a beeline to her room.

She lay on her back and stared at the ceiling. Her mind still refused to process what she'd seen and heard.

Zanka had held the raider's corpse like it was his most prized possession.

He'd threatened to kill her. He'd walked off to God-knows-where with the corpse.

Riyo's head ached. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep. All she saw was the expression Zanka made as he held the body in his arms.

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“I'm sorry, Follo. I'm actually seein’ someone”

Zanka inwardly winced as he watched the dark haired man's expression fall, though it looked like he tried to hide it.

“Oh. I didn't know. Sorry for bothering you. I'll leave now. Have a nice night”

Zanka cringed as he watched Follo hurry out of his room and dropped his head into his hands.

“Ugh!”

If he was still second-guessing telling everyone before, he was very sure of his decision now.

For three years, three years, he'd been involved romantically and intimately with a raider. Not just any raider, the same raider that had, at some point years ago, almost killed Gris and tried to kidnap Rudo. The same raider who had tried to kill him twice and numerous times since then. The same raider that had even the Hellguard cautious. That was the raider that Zanka, for the love of all things on the Ground, decided he wanted to have, though it was more of the other way around.

Their relationship wasn't this way at first. Not at all. In fact, the entire foundation of their relationship had been the burning desire to have each other dead, but somewhere along the line… somewhere amidst all the bloodlust and hatred… something else began to bloom.

At first, Zanka ignored the little shifts and changes in the raider's attitude, as well as his own.

He ignored the fact that Jabber started staying with him longer after their fights, babbling about heaven knows what until Zanka's body began to recover from the toxins.

He ignored the fact that Jabber started letting Zanka patch him up after their fights, despite the raider's obvious aversion to it.

Jabber always twitched under his hands, his body tensing and relaxing sporadically. It always awakened a darkness in Zanka that the cleaner did his best to deny and bury deep within himself.

He ignored how those moments always made him want to see Jabber squirm even more.

He ignored the look he saw in Jabber's eyes sometimes as the raider peered down at his toxin paralyzed body.

Zanka ignored the nights he laid awake in his bed, peering up at the ceiling as a certain magenta eyed man filled his mind.

He gaslighted himself, constantly repeating to himself that he only thought about the unfairly attractive raider because he'd been seeing him way too often.

He proved himself wrong when he decided to put some distance between himself and the raider.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, which was exactly what happened.

Zanka had lied to Jabber, telling the raider that he'd be busy for a month, just to assure himself that he was indeed thinking of the raider too much because he'd been seeing him too often.

Zanka had also done his best to ignore the emotion that quickly fleeted across the raider's eyes, when he informed Jabber that they wouldn't be able to meet for four good weeks.

Zanka's nights for that entire month were restless. His dreams were more thoroughly plagued by the handsome raider he was trying his best not to think about.

For the entire month, Zanka had kept seeing Jabber's full locs through the corner of his eye, hearing his–supposed to be annoying–giggles every now and then.

He had felt like he was going insane.

Eventually, he'd given in and called the raider before the month ended to schedule another meetup.

Needless to say, they had both been able to tell that the other's absence was felt in each of their lives.

After that, Zanka had stopped trying to deny his growing emotions, but he did his best to repress them.

Knowing Jabber, he'd probably end whatever they had going on if he ever felt like Zanka's feelings were getting far too complicated.

Which was why Zanka had been absolutely mortified when Jabber had initiated their first kiss.

It'd been one of the meetups where they didn't fight each other to the brink of exhaustion.

The raider had suggested they meet in Canvas. Zanka had agreed almost immediately, to his own embarrassment.

That day had been a pretty eye opening experience for the cleaner. Zanka, for the first time, really put his mind to the fact that, behind all his psychotic and masochist layers, Jabber was actually a pretty chill, pretty talented guy.

That day, the raider had dragged Zanka through Canvas town with enthusiasm akeen to that of a toddler as he showed the cleaner some of his favourite spots and a few of his old artwork.

Zanka had been pretty impressed, but also a tad bit jealous that the already ridiculously talented raider excelled in areas outside of fighting.

They'd stayed out until it was dark to watch Remlin’s fireworks. And that's when it had happened.

Zanka had been too captivated by the beauty of the fireworks to realize that Jabber had been captivated by his beauty.

He’d had no idea that the raider's sole focus was on him, until he turned his head and their eyes locked unto each other.

Zanka would never forget the storm of emotions that threatened to burst out of his chest as he stared into devastatingly gorgeous magenta eyes that always threatened to drown him in their depths.

Jabber's hand had shot out suddenly to grab his face and pull him into a kiss that had, by no means, been gentle.

A part of Zanka's brain had told his body to move away, push Jabber off him. But a louder, more greedy, darker part of him made him stay put, reciprocating the raider's kiss.

The rest, as they say, was history.

Zanka made sure that none of the cleaners knew he was seeing someone, especially Enjin, Rudo and Riyo, because he knew they wouldn't rest until they found out exactly who it was.

He was sure Semiu knew he was seeing someone, though she probably didn't know who it was. He wouldn't put it past her though. She always had a way to find out what people were hiding. The telltale signs that Jabber left on his neck—though he always did his best to cover them up—didn’t help either.

Zanka was still thinking about how he'd break the news to everyone, when he heard a knock on his door.

The door opened slightly and Gris' head poked into the room, an awkward smile on his face.

“Hey Zanka. Can I come in?”

Zanka merely nodded and scootched a bit on the edge of the bed.

Gris came in and took a seat beside him. The older cleaner clasped and unclasped his hands.

He cleared his throat. “So, um…. Follo told me you're… um… seeing someone”

Zanka ran his hands down his face.

Gris cleared his throat awkwardly again.

“It's actually my fault that he… yeah. I had no idea that you were already in a relationship, and Riyo also assured me that you had also taken a fancy to Follo. It was wrong of me to put you both in such an awkward position”

Zanka felt a blood vessel about to burst. Of course Riyo had a hand behind this. He was going to hang her by her hair, then himself. How the hell had she even come to that conclusion?

Now Zanka felt even worse. He couldn't bear the guilt in Gris' voice.

He let out a tired sigh. “It's not yer fault, Gris. I shoulda told ya ‘bout it. Shouldn't ‘a kept it ta myself”

Gris gave him a fond smile and ruffled his hair.

“It's alright, kid. You're old enough to make your own choices, and I'm sure you had your own reasons for keeping it a secret till now”

Zanka felt his heart flutter. It was pathetic. No matter how old he grew, he still found himself feeling like a little kid whenever Gris or Enjin ruffled his hair.

“ I have just one question though”

Zanka looked up at Gris who now wore a serious expression on his face.

“Are you happy, Zanka?”

Zanka was startled at first, but then a soft smile found its way to his lips, soothing his sharp features into something more gentle.

“Yeah. I am”

Gris smiled again.

“Good”. He got up to leave.

He was already at the door, when he turned his head to look at Zanka.

“And don't worry about Enjin finding out about it. I know you'll tell him when you're ready”

And he was gone, closing the door softly behind him.

Zanka collapsed unto his bed, letting sleep pull him under and give him some respite from his warring thoughts.

The next morning was nothing short of awkward, with Follo avoiding him like the plague and opting to switch cars with another supporter.

“Damn, Zanka. What'd you do to Follo?”

Enjin dropped unto his shoulder and snickered as he watched Follo scamper off to another car.

Zanka just groaned in exasperation.

The drive back to HQ was smooth enough, with everyone in the car falling asleep since Gris was on the wheel.

It was sometime around mid-afternoon when they finally returned. Zanka didn't think he'd ever been happier to see the Cleaners’ building.

His first mission was to find Riyo and skin her alive.

Semiu stood at the front door to welcome their party.

“Good to see all of you back in one piece”

“Yeah. We missed you too, Semiu”, Enjin huffed sarcastically.

Semiu rolled her eyes and looked at Zanka.

“Riyo isn't here. She went on a mission and won't be back for a while”

Zanka frowned instantly. Just his luck.

Zanka plopped down on his bed with joy. Oh how he'd missed the calming scent of his incense.

He stared up at the ceiling. Riyo wasn't around so he couldn't end her, and Rudo was off on some mission too.

He brought his choker bearing hand to his face. His heart racing even before he makes the call.

There's silence for a less than a minute before the call is received.

“Jab?”

“Yo! My man, you back in town?”

Zanka could practically hear the grin in the velvety voice that greeted his ears. He couldn't stop the smile that threatened to split his face in two. He didn't think he could wait much longer.

“Yeah. Ya know where ta meet me. See ya there”

Zanka ended the call. He sprang up from his bed.

He walked into his bathroom and looked in the mirror. His hair had grown out, looking more like a wolf cut now.

He looked presentable enough.

He vaguely told Semiu that he was off to see someone and there was a possibility he'd be back the following day.

As he walked to their designated meetup location, he thought about what he'd say to Jabber. He was sure the raider would be elated to see him, and would make it known.

Unlike Zanka, Jabber was more open and honest about his affection.

Should he just give in and let the raider know he missed him, or should he rile the raider up? Jabber always did it to him. Getting him angry and using said anger to fulfill his masochistic fantasies. Zanka felt like being a little mean.

Zanka got there earlier than he expected and there was no sign of Jabber.

He stood there, scanning the surroundings for the raider. His well sculpted face was hard to miss.

The telltale shiver that ran down his spine and the strong chemical stench that filled his nostrils were the only warnings that Zanka got.

“Zan-zan!”

The aggravatingly smooth voice filled his ears as he felt weight fall unto his shoulders.

He let out a small yelp.

“Ya sick fuck! If I didn't know yer stupid chemical scent, I woulda whacked ya in the skull. Get off a’ me, yer heavy”

Zanka could almost hear a grin in the soft cackle that left the raider, before he nuzzled his face into Zanka's neck.

“I know ya missed me, Zannie. And I missed ya too”

Zanka tensed, then slowly relaxed.

If Jabber had a problem with accepting affection, Zanka had a problem with admitting it verbally.

He let out a sigh.

“It ain't easy ta go two months without seeing yer stupid face when I’m used ta seeing it almost all the time”

That was the closest he could come to telling the raider he missed him too, but he knew that Jabber was satisfied with his answer.

Jabber finally let go of him and he turned around so he could finally look at the raider.

Zanka didn't really know how much he missed the handsome face in front of him until he was staring at it.

Jabber still looked the same. He didn't have any new bruises or cuts on his face, and Zanka could just be delusional, but he looked even more handsome than the last time they'd met.

The only noticeable thing about the raider, besides his obvious attractiveness, was the fact that his locs were in need of a retwist.

Jabber could do it on his own, Zanka knew this, but the cleaner also knew that his constant affection had spoiled the raider rotten and the latter was probably waiting for Zanka to do it for him. Cute.

Somewhere in the middle of their admiring, they had both gravitated towards each other until they met in the middle in a teeth clattering kiss.

At first it was just like their usual kisses, all teeth and tongue, but slowly transitioned into something more tender, something that spoke volumes about how much they both missed each other.

Zanka could feel himself floating as the kiss went on, then he felt Jabber's hand grip his waist and attempt to press their hips together.

Zanka pushed Jabber away and almost felt sorry when he saw the raider pout, but he couldn't forget his plan.

Zanka watched Jabber's pout morph into an amused expression as he he unsheathed Lovely Assistaff and activated her.

“Don't get me wrong, I missed the feel of yer body on mine, but I missed ‘Kira just as much”

Zanka watched something closely resembling jealousy flash across Jabber's face, before the raider activated his own vital instrument, pink anima engulfing his dexterous fingers.

“You're so mean, babe. Thought ya missed me, but all this time, you were just usin' me ta get ta 'Kira. That's cold, even for you”

Zanka felt a shiver flow through him at the edge in Jabber's voice.

“Sorry. Guess I got favorites”

Their fight lasted a while. Zanka could tell that Jabber was trying to scratch him, fill him with neurotoxins.

A dark taste that Zanka had developed after years of fighting Jabber was the pleasure he felt from being injected with Mankira's toxins.

When he'd first realized it, Zanka spiralled completely, fearing that he'd become a masochist just like Jabber. But when getting hit by Jabber, in the next fight they had after he came to that realization, didn't feel good, he slowly accepted that, though he was becoming even more of a freak than he already was, he wasn't as far gone as Jabber was.

So Zanka was kind of eager to get scratched, but he still wanted to fight, so he effectively defended himself against those lethal blades.

Jabber was finally about to get him, one of Mankira's claws mere inches from sinking into his arm. But the raider stepped on something and slipped, falling backwards.

Zanka wasted no time pinning him down. Jabber always looked so pretty pinned under him.

Zanka couldn’t suppress the laughter that bubbled out of his throat as he looked at Jabber's pout.

The raider had a habit of pouting whenever his stupid grin wasn't on his face. It was like his default expression sometimes, and Zanka found it extremely adorable. But right now, it was just funny.

Jabber glared up at him.

“Shut up”

Zanka could hear the faint embarrassment in the raider's voice. His laughter increased.

Jabber's pout deepened.

Zanka finally released him, prepared for what was to come.

Jabber pounced on him as soon as he was released, sending them both to the ground.

Zanka felt the raider's hand protectively cradle the back of his head as they fell. He was such a softie sometimes.

Zanka landed on his back with Jabber straddling him. The cleaner was still laughing even as the raider glared down at him.

Zanka finally pulled himself together and looked at Jabber, his eyes filled with tears of laughter.

“I'm sorry. Ya just look like a puppy when yer pouting. I couldn't help it”

Jabber was clearly upset and decided to make his displeasure known. He unzipped Zanka's uniform enough to expose his neck and chest.

Zanka could feel his heart thumping against his ribs in anticipation, as Jabber pinned the cleaner's hands down and lowered his head.

Zanka felt sharp teeth sink into his skin and a low groan escaped his lips, his hips twitching under Jabber.

He felt the teeth break skin and that was when the raider finally let go and raised his head.

He watched Jabber seemingly admire his work as the raider ran his tongue across his bloodstained lips.

Zanka wanted to claim him right then and there.

Their eyes locked unto each other for what seemed like the hundredth time since they met. But of course it wasn't enough.

Zanka admired the brown skinned man on top of him once more. How has he managed to go two months without seeing this ethereal face.

He took his time looking at every single one of Jabber's features. The sharpness of his eyebrows had softened and so had his eyes.

Instead of their usual mania, the beautiful magenta eyes were filled with something that could have been called love if it weren't so tainted by such dark desires and the underlying desire to see Zanka die by his hands.

Zanka felt the same way.

Jabber unpinned his hands and brought one of them to his face, planting soft kisses on it from the wrist all the way to the ring finger.

“Jabber”

Zanka couldn't help the softness of his tone. Jabber's affectionate action had stolen his breath.

He watched as Jabber's expression softened even more when he heard his name. The raider kissed Zanka's palm and nuzzled his cheek in it.

Zanka felt like he could ascend just from the sight of it.

Jabber could be so soft sometimes, and whenever he was, Zanka's heart felt so full he thought that it'd burst.

“I wanted to see ya so bad, I thought I was gonna die. But instead all ya want from me is ‘Kira”

Zanka's heart tightened at the faint sadness?... anger?... in Jabber's voice.

He stroked Jabber's cheek with his thumb and felt his heart flutter as he watched the raider lean into the touch and narrow his eyes in satisfaction, just like a cat.

Zanka's expression softened even more. His face would probably fall off if his expression softened any further.

“Didn't mean ta be an asshole, just wanted ta joke around a little. I wanted ta see ya too. Missed yer stupid face so much it almost hurt”

Zanka watched as Jabber's expression looked almost… flustered?

“You're gonna give me a heart attack”

“How?”

Zanka genuinely wanted to know, but instead, Jabber turned his face away, a pitiful attempt to hide his dusky cheeks.

Zanka was over the moon.

He reached out to grab Jabber's face and make the raider look at him again.

Jabber's eyes pulled him in.

“Stop looking at me like that”

“Like what?”

Zanka was once again curious, by what Jabber meant, but his curiosity turned into disbelief as he watched the raider slide one of his precious rings off his finger.

“Jabber, what're you–”

Zanka was frozen in place as Jabber slid the ring he'd taken off unto his own finger, his ring finger.

Zanka's brain was beginning to short circuit. What the hell?! What the hell?! What the hell?!

“I know you'll keep her safe and take care a’ her, just like you take care a’ me”

Zanka was still in shock. Jabber was giving him one of Mankira's rings. Mankira's rings! A literal piece of his soul.

Zanka didn't know how to react. This …. This ….

“Jab…. I….”

“You said that ya can't return gifts. She's a gift from me ta you”

Zanka had no words. Of course he didn't. No words could describe how he felt or what he wanted to say.

So he did something close to expressing how he really felt.

He pulled the raider down and kissed him. He did his best to put everything he couldn't say, everything that words couldn't describe into the kiss.

It was, I love you. It was, I hate you. It was, I need you. It was, I want you dead. It was, be mine forever. It was, let's die together. And everything in between.

Zanka felt Jabber melting into the kiss, the rich tenderness of it conveying everything they wanted to say to each other and yet not enough.

He finally parted their kiss, just so he could look at Jabber's face

“Yer so beautiful, Jab”

He ran a hand through Jabber's soft locs, purposely teasing the sensitive scalp underneath.

He felt Jabber twitch on top of him and was made aware of the fact that he was very much being straddled.

Jabber seemed to come to this realization too, as the raider rocked his hips once, slowly, the action drawing a soft sigh from Zanka.

This seemed to encourage Jabber as he rocked his hips again, harder this time, pulling a low groan from Zanka.

Jabber set a steady pace, soft groans and sighs leaving both of them as the raider grinded against Zanka.

Zanka needed to feel Mankira prick his skin, he needed to feel her toxins flow through his veins. He didn't care if Jabber began to use it against him later.

“Jabber”. His voice came out almost pathetic, as he caressed the rings on Jabber's fingers.

The raider looked slightly annoyed, but obliged him.

“Fine, since ya want it so bad”

Zanka's excitement spiked as he watched anima engulf Jabber's index finger, Mankira's beautiful claw extending from the ring.

Jabber moved his finger to Zanka's exposed chest and the cleaner could hear his heart thumping in his ear, until the unmistakable sound of a gunshot pierced through his haze of pleasure and excitement.

Zanka's expression morphed into one of pure horror as he watched Mankira's blade retreat.

He caught Jabber in his arms just as he began to fall.

He cradled him in his hands, his mind blacking out as he watched life leave the raider's eyes.

He's still warm. He's still warm. He's still here. He's not gone. He's not gone. He's just resting, closing his eyes. He does that a lot.

Zanka's mind refused to process what was going on, his heart refused to believe it. It was too sudden. There was barely any time apart.

One minute he was looking at him with so much emotion in those breathtaking magenta eyes, and now they were staring up at him with the lifeless blankness that could only come from death.

No. He isn't dead. If Zanka says he isn't, then he isn't. Isn't that how death worked? Right? Maybe Zanka was mixing things up. He wasn't sure.

“Z?”

Zanka's mind was brought back. Was that Riyo? What was she doing here?

He looked up at her, but then his sight locked unto the gun in her hand.

Wait a minute!

“You…. You did this?”

No. She couldn't have. She wouldn't have. Riyo loved him, there was no way she'd do this to him. Never. She'd never.

“Z, you're probably pumped full of neurotoxins right now. Let's get back to–”

“Shut up”

“What?”

“Shut. Up. I need ta think”

He looked at Jabber, still warm in his hands, but rapidly cooling, his eyes still blank and lifeless.

Riyo had done this. Riyo had shot Jabber. Riyo had killed him. She'd killed both of them.

What was Zanka going to do now? He thought Riyo loved him, so why? Why? why? why? why? why?

“Z–”

Zanka lost his patience. He activated Lovely Assistaff and raised her to Riyo's neck without a moment's hesitation, her spikes just a few centimeters shy of breaking skin.

“I said SHUT. UP! I need ta THINK!”

He tried to calm himself down. He was being too loud, he didn't want to disturb Jabber's sleep. His voice became softer.

“Just let me think”

A few minutes passed as Zanka contemplated his next course of action. He reached a decision.

He pulled Assistaff back, deactivating her and seathing her on his back.

Gently, so as to not disrupt his slumber, Zanka lifted Jabber in his arms, cradling him close. He'd take him home and they'd both sleep together.

He began to walk away and heard Riyo begin to follow. He looked over his shoulder and stared at her from the corner of his eye.

“Don't follow me. I can't promise that more blood won't be shed if ya do”

He walked away, his destination and goal set.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

“What?!”

“You heard me. Someone found two bodies in an apartment in Hole town, and apparently one of them was a cleaner”

Semiu watches as Enjin and Gris' expressions show deep concern.

They haven't seen Zanka in days and he hasn't contacted anyone.

“Let's not think of the worst”

Gris says in an attempt to discourage the conclusion that weighs down on their minds.

“So who's going to check it out?”

Enjin asks, still on edge.

“I was thinking about sending just you two and maybe Tomme. I don't think Riyo's really in any state to deal with this kind of thing”

Ah, that's right. Riyo's been acting strange ever since she came back from a mission a few days ago. She rarely talks to anyone anymore and hasn't even asked about Zanka.

Enjin and Semiu tried to talk to her, but she unconvincingly told them that she just wasn't feeling well.

Gris speaks.“I assume we're leaving soon?”

“Yeah. The sooner we retrieve the bodies, the better”

“I'll go tell Tomme”

As soon as Gris leaves, Enjin looks at Semiu. She shakes her head.

“It could be him. It's a possibility. A very high one”

Enjin's grip on Umbreaker tightens.

The drive there is silent. Gris is driving because in his current state, Enjin would probably kill all three of them.

When they get there, they're greeted by a forty-somethingish man with a sour look on his face.

“It's quite an unfortunate scene. Gotta warn y'all ‘bout the smell though. They've been in there a while”

They put on their masks as the man leads them to the apartment. He stops a few feet from the door, leaving the three of them to go the rest of the way.

Gris goes in first. He prays and prays and prays that it isn't who he thinks it is, for Enjin's sake at least.

His prayers aren't answered. Gris’ hands tremble as he looks at the familiar head of blonde and brown hair.

Zanka

And the person beside him…. Gris moves closer to get a better look.

Jabber?!

He absolutely doesn't want Enjin in here, but it's too late for that. The six foot three blonde is already inside before Gris can make any attempt to stop him.

“Oh my God”

Tomme was right behind Enjin, placing her hands over her mask as she took in the scene.

Gris watches with a heavy heart as Enjin's expression contorts. It's a mixture of emotions that are trying to restrain themselves from showing.

Enjin's eyes harden the moment he sights the raider beside Zanka. He's about to lose it when Tomme calls both his and Gris' attention to a letter she's holding.

“It's from Zanka”

Enjin snatches it from her hand. He unfolds it and reads it, his eyes running over all the lines. His expression growing more and more unreadable.

When he's done he flings the letter away and storms out.

Tomme and Gris look at each other.

After properly packaging both bodies and putting them in the car, Gris goes off to find Enjin.

It's not a hard task, Enjin's not exactly an easy person to miss.

He finds the golden blonde somewhere nearby, leaning on a wall and smoking—from the nubs Gris counts on the floor—what seems to be his sixth cigarette.

Gris doesn't say anything as he leans against the wall, staying close to Enjin.

Not a word is said between them.

The drive back to HQ is even more depressing than it was before. Maybe it’s the bodies in the trunk, or Enjin's slightly red rimmed eyes. Who knows.

Immediately they get back, Enjin disappears once more.

Semiu comes out to meet them. None of them have to say anything for her to know who they found.

“How was Enjin?”

“Not good. And…. Jabber was there too”

Semiu raises an eyebrow.

“Was he…?

“No. Here”. Gris hands her the letter.

Understanding settles on her features as she reads it.

Later that day, Zanka's death is announced.

The circumstances surrounding it aren't mentioned and this leaves many people curious.

Rudo is devastated, surprised by the tears sliding down his face.

“Zanka can't really be dead. He can't right?”

He looks at Gris who just shakes his head sadly.

Riyo looks like she's going to be sick and excuses herself immediately.

No one's seen Enjin since they got back.

HQ has been…strange.

Outside of missions, Enjin's rarely ever seen, and when he is, he reeks of cigarettes.

Rudo's been more withdrawn lately, barely ever wrestling Dear for sweets anymore. The poor kid misses the old Rudo.

As for Riyo, she's always cooped up in her room, only stepping out to eat. She looks like a ghost of who she once was.

It was her fault. Why did she shoot the raider anyway? Why didn't she just get rid of the stupid gun?

She can't sleep anymore, all she sees whenever she closes her eyes is his devastated expression. She can still hear the pain in his voice.

One morning, she wakes up and sees Zanka at her doorway looking at her with a smile on his face.

It's too good to be true she thinks, and she's right. Her sleep deprived mind is just playing tricks on her. There's no one there.

Riyo feels the tears flow down her the tears roll down her face before the heart wrenching sob escapes her throat.

It doesn't sound like it came from her. It sounds so far away.

This is the first time she's crying since she heard about Zanka's death.

It's all her fault. All her fault. If she hadn't shot the raider, he'd still be alive, he'd still be with her, with them.

She pulls her Beretta out of the drawer she had stuffed it since that day.

She goes into the bathroom and stares at her reflection.

Her long red hair frames her face, contrasting sharply with her pale skin. Her large green eyes are red rimmed and tired.

She stares at herself for a long time before raising the gun and pressing its barrel against the side of her head.

She placed her finger on the trigger and….

BANG!