Chapter Text
“I want to try drinking the swamp too.”
In another life, he would have said those words, and Cale would have stopped him- would have stopped all of this.
But this was not that life.
Instead, as the adults inspected the footprints around the swamp, Hong had run off, eating the little plants and shrubbery that grew beside the lake.
He chews on a blackened flower, letting the poison settle in his mouth before swallowing it.
'Oooh, that tastes tingly..'
Hong's tail flicks, wagging as a little discomfort bloomed in his stomach. The flavor turned sour alongside the initial bitter, and felt rubbery, sticky on his tongue, Hong had to stop himself from gagging it out.
'It feels bad, tastes really yuck, but this will make me stronger!'
With his resolve firm, Hong shakes his head. Ignoring the bad taste of the poisoned flower, he puts on his brave face and eyes the swamp water. Cautiously, his eyes flick over to the adults- still distracted, good.
He tentatively leans down to lick the black liquid, lapping it up and sipping some into his mouth a few times before the sting becomes too much for him to handle.
He gags.
Eugh.
The red kitten quickly trots over to another set of plants- not poisoned this time, to try and cover up the taste. He licks his snout and chin, and wipes it on the little leaves that he was eating. It wouldn't be good of someone accidentally got poisoned from Hong after all.
Hong's eyes begin to sparkle as he watches the leaves decay, smacking his lips at the horrid flavor still in his mouth- this was really strong poison! He smiles, tail wagging faster. He's going to be so strong, and when that happens, he'll be able to protect everyone better!
But before Hong could celebrate, their human speaks up.
"I’m sure you already have an idea, but there is a good chance that there is a dragon corpse inside the swamp"
Hong freezes on the spot.
Oh…
Suddenly, the knowledge that there where very little dragons left felt very, very important. Hong's gaze flickers to their youngest, watching for any sign of discomfort- but even as he catches none, his ears droop.
He'd just eaten something with the corpse of someone who could have been Raon's relative…
Hong feels the guilt well up in his chest, his initial celebration now ringing hollow. The joy he felt earlier morphing into shame. How could he feel so much happiness over something so disgusting?
He doesn't walk over to them, instead laying down under a tree shade to watch them talk from afar.
Meoww
Hong turns to his noona, her head tilted at him in question.
"Are you alright?" She says, kind. Too kind, too kind for someone would could have just-
Hong could tell her the truth, could confess that he'd just eaten something with the corpse of a dead dragon infecting it, the joy he felt at first, the promise of strength he'd ran towards instead of waiting for Cale to give the go signal, the fact that he had eaten the corpse of one of their youngest's kind-
But when he opens his mouth, Hong's voice gets caught in his throat. The confession clawing at the gates of his neck tight enough to hurt.
He sees Ohn, gentle and patient understanding- his noona, who would forgive him for doing stuff like that. Who would forgive him for anything, because Hong was her dongsaeng.
But then he looks at their youngest, looks at him smiling and beaming when talking to Cale, remembers their time together, giggling and playing around in Cale's bedroom- the unmistakable sparkle in his eyes, the life and energy and happiness he brought to everyone around, even if he was tortured by the bastards in those caves….
Does he deserve to be forgiven, for eating one of his kind? One who could have been part of Raon's family? Does he deserve to tell anyone? To admit to his youngest's face that Hong had eaten the great and mighty dragon race? Had cheered and swallowed the remnants of a dragon's corpse just moments ago? That had Cale not spoken up, Hong would have boasted about it- that even before their human had opened his mouth, Hong had already celebrated?
So instead, Hong huffs, "I wanted to eat the swamp water…"
Ohn's expression is fond, "It's okay," She says, "Ron-nim will have other poisons you can ask for."
And Hong smiles and nods, desperately hoping he'd kept yet another secret safe.
Hong wasn't a dumb kid, knew he could probably digest some it, but not all of it. And on the way back he hoped it was enough to cover the amount he'd made himself drink before the whole thing was exploded by their youngest's inventions. (It was really, really cool. Hong would have cheered if not for the ache in his gut.)
But when the fifth day after their trip came, and the pain in his gut had not subsided, Hong had known there was something wrong.
It numbed too much, cramped too little. Hong could still feel his tongue, he could still talk, still do everything normally enough, it didn't really hurt most of the time.
But sometimes the pain flares, and all of the sudden he can't do anything at all. Hong's body would freeze in place, making him sit there and silently cry as his limbs stiffened and his body wouldn't move no matter what happened-
Once, noona had found him curled up and thought he was asleep, she began grooming his fur, like she had always done in the previous years.
It felt like his fur was being torn apart from every lick. He hated it so much- it felt like his skin was being torn apart. The press of her fur against his, once comforting, now brought lighting up his limbs, her gentle licks, always so thorough to keep Hong clean- now felt like tar and sticky mud being slugged over his body.
It was drowning, suffocating. His skin throbbed beneath his fur and nothing he did seemed to help.
Hong hated it so much, but he couldn't do anything but curl into a ball and hope for the best. The pain came and went in waves- and if he just waited for a bit, it would be okay.
A pitiful whine wanted to dislodge itself out from his throat, but with him being locked in place, the muscles in his throat did not do anything, and so he stayed silent, breathing through it all.
And when he could finally move, He found that he couldn't tell his noona anything without admitting to the fact that he'd eaten dead dragon mana.
So he swallowed his pain, just as he always did, smiled and thanked her, nuzzled her neck while he ignored the screams of his muscles.
Because Hong wasn't a dumb child. He knew being in pain would make his noona worried sick- would make her try to sacrifice herself for a chance at him getting better. It was better for him to wait it out in secret, like he always did back in the tribe.
He didn't want his noona to suffer more than she already did because of him.
Hong was getting good at reading the ques for these episodes because of this- and he was proud of it. If Hong could just hide the symptoms and not bother Ohn or any of the other people around, she won't have to beg for him, and they wouldn't get thrown out into the streets again!
Hong smiles, it worked last time, why wouldn't it again?
So when his tongue loses taste and his throat begins to sore, he starts fidgeting. Oftentimes Cale would notice and ask Hong what's wrong- to which Hong says he needs to pee or wanted to explore.
And when the back of his throat begins to flare in pain, he's already laying down somewhere in his cat form- preparing to "sleep".
As long as he doesn't bother anyone, he and noona can stay in this cozy home, away from the streets, the mean men, the pungent alcohol, the beatings, the running and the pain of it all.
He lays down in front of a warm campfire, forcing his eyes shut before his body can lock in place.
He wants to stay here, wants to stay with Cale, with his care and concern and pets and warm bed and food and gentle, achingly gentle hands.
He can see noona wants the same as well.
So, Hong just has to keep it up.
Everything will be fine.