Chapter Text
Lottie Matthews has never been popular.
At least that’s what she told herself, with the bluntest stereotype of someone popular in her mind.
The type of person who gets praised for simply existing. Yeah, that was not Lottie for most of her life.
She didn’t want to be like that.
It’s not like she has ever been a wallflower either.
She has always been somewhere in between. Someone you know the name of, but don’t care about enough for her to be the main subject at a sleepover.
Most people knew she existed, either by seeing her at a pep rally of some sorts, or maybe a game of hers, but something kept her from being truly known in school.
Could be her lack of filter, hence the sarcastic personality.
Could be absolutely anything, the high school social hierarchy is too complicated to comprehend.
Teenage girls never needed a reason for not giving a fuck about someone, they’ll walk past you and never think of it again
They need a reason to care, a reason worthy enough of getting a rumour or two.
And that reason came to her when she least expected it.
It came with her very first boyfriend.
They weren’t dating for long, not even a year. But it wasn’t just some ordinary guy. It was the boy’s football team quarterback, Mike Raymonds.
And if you’ve ever watched a movie or show portraying an American high school, you’ll know how much of a big deal dating the quarterback is.
The funny thing is, Lottie didn’t care that he played football. God, she didn’t even like him that much. He was an asshole, basically every guy in school was.
He seemed nice. At first, of course. They didn’t have any cute love story, Mike kissed Lottie during an end of school year bonfire when they were sophomores.
Lottie fucking hated how that kiss felt.
But then he called her, insisting that he needed her and has been in love with her since freshman year. Deep down, Lottie knew it was bullshit. That he just wanted a hot girlfriend.
But maybe for a little while she believed he actually was telling the truth. She didn’t even think of considering if she had any feelings for him, not even once. She barely acknowledged him before that, they weren’t friends.
Maybe she just wanted to be loved.
Lottie didn’t agree at first. Over time he became all sweet and desperate. Lottie had enough and gave him what he wanted.
And Jesus Christ she became a literal phenomenon basically overnight.
She had enough of it on the first day.
When you think about it, to some students they could’ve been some sort of a power couple.
Girls soccer team member, dating a quarterback.
Seems perfect, doesn’t it?
So that is how the once unnoticeable Lottie Matthews became one of the coolest girls in the entire school’s history.
Girls that used to brush right past her a week before, now insisted on her sitting with them at the lunch table.
She was forced to hang out with her boyfriend’s horny friends
Shortened version, she despised being popular.
Thankfully, it wasn’t a forever thing.
Just like every other rumour, or every other dating announcement, the students calmed down after a while.
But she was noticed way more. It was gonna stay with her until graduation.
It was like a band-aid you can never rip off.
If it isn’t being known as the quarterback’s girlfriend, it’s being the quarterback’s ex.
And, well, it took some getting used to. But at least she got invited to more parties. And she could do anything and get away with it
She climbed her way all the way to the top of the social ladder with basically no effort.
On the complete opposite side of that ladder, stood Natalie Scatorccio.
Lottie’s teammate, friend, whatever she was.
If Lottie and Natalie weren’t on the same soccer team, God knows if they’d ever even interact.
For the majority of their time on the team they barely interacted.
They were basically polar opposites if you think about it.
Lottie was rich, popular, and respected.
Natalie was none of those things.
Sure, she knew how to deal with bullying and slut-shaming but only because it happened on a daily basis.
And to be fair, her way of dealing with her problems was highly damaging.
But who can blame her. She had a mountain of issues, she had to resort to something.
When Lottie had her big shift in the way she was treated, Natalie wished that could also happen to her
But her reputation was far too damaged at that point.
No coming back.
Maybe if she randomly got rich, won the lottery or something
Or if her mother started caring for her
Or even if she stopped using drugs
But who knows if any of those things would change anything.
She was stuck.
Natalie and Lottie crossed paths for the first time at soccer practice.
Nat joined the team before Lottie did.
Their first meeting left Natalie impressed by the brunette, mostly because of how she always knew what to say.
Nat resorted to either insults or violence when someone crossed too big of a line, but Lottie dealt with her anger by sarcastically or slightly rudely wording her sentences.
Nat thought it was badass.
Overall, Natalie didn’t have anything bad to say about Lottie. Back then she didn’t.
They never really got the chance to get too close, even if they shared a locker room three times a week.
Truth is, Nat was an outsider. Even on the team, even in her own house.
Lottie found popular girl friends early into junior year, while also being on good terms with the rest of the team, including Natalie.
Nat stayed behind. Left her admiration for Lottie Matthews in the back of her head, watered it down with alcohol, drugs, and sex.
And she could live with it.
Perhaps if she got close with Lottie before her huge shift, it would hurt more
But Natalie had so much hurt inside her heart, it barely moved her.
She didn’t think much about Lottie up until another bonfire party, in mid April of junior year.
The place was filled to the brink with teenagers.
Half of them were drunk, or stoned.
Nat was both.
She spent half of the evening smoking with Kevyn. He was probably her best friend, tho it was painfully obvious that he was head over heels in love with her
To simply put it, she was not.
But she didn’t mind. As long as he didn’t try anything, she could live with it
And he was honestly a blast of a person to be around
Nat couldn’t have fun at a party without being slut shamed, of course, but the joint she smoked before made her laugh about it
Overall, she had a pretty good time.
Meanwhile, Lottie was looking around the place, a few minutes after her arrival holding a red cup filled with something that was probably punch in both her hands, taking slow sips from it.
She was trying to spot Van with her eyes, who she was probably the closest with in the team at that time, but she was nowhere to be seen.
She knew all the yellowjackets were at that party, somewhere.
The crowded space was enough to give her a headache, and it wasn’t helping that suddenly there was a bunch of her “friends” circling her, laughing about something. Lottie didn’t even have to blink to realise they were all drunk.
“Hey, Lottie. You came!”
“Yeah. Hi.”
“Maisie here had a question for you”
“Shut up! Okay, Lottie. If you and Mike are broken up, can I like, have him?” She snorted out, and then laughed loud enough for other people around them to stare
"Okay, you’re wasted. All of you are.”
“I only had… Like, five. Caaaalm down”
Lottie was not down to continue that conversation. The girls barely even noticed that Lottie walked away from them, and now she was sitting on a wood branch further into the woods.
She thought she had a moment to breathe, think and be by herself, but she noticed someone next to her right after she found the place.
“You okay Lottie? You look… Weird.” Said Natalie, clearly under the influence of some kind of drug.
“Jesus Christ, do you usually sneak up on people like that?” Lottie asked, startled by the blonde
“I’ve been around here for the past 30 minutes.”
“I’ve had a long day, Nat”
“You sound like my mom”
“What’d you take?”
“Nothing much. You still didn’t answer my question. Are you okay?”
“Fuck off, I’m fine. You certainly don’t look fine, though” She noted, looking over at Nat, who looked like there were no thoughts in her head, like she didn’t even know she was there.
Nat shrugged in response, staring deeply into Lottie.
They sat there on that uncomfortable branch, not talking for a while.
Lottie preferred that peace and quiet over anything at that moment.
It didn’t last long, but it was nice
Natalie broke the silence in a really awkward way
“Fuck, i think im gonna throw up” Natalie admitted loudly, quickly standing up from the piece of wood
“What the fuck, Nat, you said you didn’t take much!”
“I didn’t!” Nat shouted before retching as quietly as she possibly could “Sorry! It’s just beer and weed, i swear” she added after wiping her mouth, playfully putting her hands up in the air
“Suuure.” Lottie responded sarcastically. She believed Nat. It just felt very on brand for her to say that.
“Why aren’t you with your friends, Matthews?”
“They were more wasted than you”
“You should go back. To your friends, I mean. I’m sure you wouldn’t want them to see you talking to a burn-out like me” Nat said, calmness filling her voice. It was probably the weed, she couldn’t puke it out of her system.
“I don’t actually like them, you know. I’d much rather talk with you. Don’t know why I didn’t do that before”
Natalie wondered about how to respond to that for a little while. She knew she wanted to be friends with Lottie ever since she joined the team. She knew she was too much of an awkward coward to succeed.
And now Lottie herself was admitting she doesn’t give a fuck about the same friends that stopped Natalie from getting closer to Lottie before
She wasn’t mad at Lottie. Why would she be?
She was mad at herself.
“Isn’t it kinda crazy we’ve been in the same team since sophomore year and this is the first time we’re having an actual conversation”
“Yeah. It is.”
“Didn’t think a perfect, pretty rich girl like you would want to talk to someone like me” Nat muttered softly, like she didn’t mean for Lottie to hear it.
Lottie definitely did hear it. She wanted to say something, but something, or rather someone, stopped her.
“Lottie! Come the fuck here we’re playing truth or dare” One of her friends yelled from the distance. She was probably trying to look for her, and she was now close enough for Lottie to hear.
Lottie hesitated. She looked over at Nat, pity present on her face.
“Go on. Have fun.”
Lottie nodded and awkwardly walked away.
She felt guilty, she didn’t even want to play that stupid game and she didn’t want to be around her stupid friends.
Nat stayed on that branch, watched Lottie walk away
She left the party an hour later. She looked for Kevyn, maybe he would make her stick around longer, but he was nowhere to be seen.
She watched the truth or dare game around the fire for a few minutes
It was far enough for her not to recite what they were saying, but it was also entertaining enough to calm the negative thoughts in her head.
Meanwhile, to Lottie, it was not entertaining at all.
She was grateful her bitchy friends weren’t the only ones playing.
Four girls from the team were also there. Tai, Van, Shauna and Jackie.
She took a seat next to two of her teammates, Taissa and Van.
She was friends with Van
Tai too, kind of.
Sometimes she thought Tai hated her guts and was nice to her only because Van ordered her to.
“Okay, okay. Lottie. Truth or dare” A blonde girl asked excitingly
“Truth.” Lottie replied calmly, even though she feared what they were gonna ask her
“Why did you break up with Mike?” She asked, gaining a loud reaction from some of the girls in the circle
“The fuck, Julia, that’s persona!l” Van shouted almost immediately, and Lottie elbowed her in response
“He tried to get in my pants and I didn’t fucking want that” She explained briefly, thinking they would leave her alone after that. She was naïve to think that.
“Well that’s a shit reason to end an eight month long relationship, Lottie” A black haired girl who Lottie didn’t recognize called from the other side of the circle
“Don’t do that.” Tai snapped at her
“Oh, fuck off, Taissa” She snapped back
“Leave her the fuck alone, Jesus Christ” Jackie shouted, though it didn’t really change anything.
“You guys should be grateful. At least you can have him now. Mike Raymonds is a fucking asshole and you all are blinded by his looks. And he isn’t even that hot!” Lottie shouted, put up her middle fingers in the air and walked away from the fire.
Fuck them all Lottie thought, raged at the question and raged that she still was associated with Mike
Lottie went back to the branch she and Nat sat on, but Nat wasn’t there anymore.
She figured she left, which she absolutely did not blame her for. The party was shit.
She sat there, her thoughts louder than any banter coming from the distance.
The girls continued with the game for a while after that.
Lottie wanted to be left alone. She didn’t want comfort, she wanted to be by herself.
But she just could never have that, could she?
After sitting on that crusty piece of wood for God knows how long, she saw a silhouette walking towards her.
She couldn’t tell who it was before she has sat down next to her
“I’m sorry. They’re assholes” Said Shauna, with a concerned look on her face “Are you okay?”
“As okay as i can be” Lottie admitted “Why the fuck do they care so much, half of them already have boyfriends anyway”
“I don’t know. Do you wanna go home?”
“Yeah, but I’ve had a beer, I can’t really drive”
“I can drive you. I’m sober”
Lottie didn’t know why Shauna was so nice to her.
They barely talked outside of practice.
“Are you sure? I don’t wanna be a burden”
“Come on. I need to drive Jackie anyways.”
“Doesn’t Jeff always take Jackie home?”
“They broke up again”
“Oh. Okay, sure. Thanks”
***
Lottie expected the drive to feel awkward, uncomfortable.
But it wasn’t.
Jackie was in the front seat next to Shauna, which Lottie was not surprised about, they were always next to each other
Lottie took a seat in the left backseat, listened to Shauna and Jackie’s conversations, sometimes sprawled in a word or two
She was happy she could have people around that weren’t absolute assholes
She didn’t know where she’d be if she didn’t join the team.
Lottie never thought she would turn out being treated like the queen of the school
And it was hard to deal with sometimes
And honestly she didn’t have anything good out of it
She was basically counting down the days until graduation
She knew she was privileged, knew that she should be grateful she wasn’t being bullied
But God, it was so tiring.
She let herself breathe in the air after she walked out of Shauna’s car before she walked inside.
The familiar feeling of the warm, April night lingering in the air made Lottie happy for a split second
She wished she could’ve stayed in that peaceful moment forever, after spending one of the most unpeaceful days in her life