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When Janosh saw a knife pressing into Adder's stomach, Brabant could have pressed that knife into Janosh's heart. He almost rushed to kill Brabant at that moment, but Henry kept him so he wouldn't be shot by archers. Was it a good thing? Janosh didn't know.
Now he had bleeding Adder, dying Adder, in front of him. He said don't haul the corpse. But Janosh didn't listen. Janosh hauled him to the carriage, and Katherine, oh, saintly Katherine, started immediately to do her best.
"You will be okay", Janosh said to Adder. Adder has no other choice. Because otherwise Janosh wouldn't be okay.
But when Adder's eyes closed, and he didn't react to anything, Janosh feared the worst.
***
Adder was with Janosh, like always. They were fighting, side to side. How wonderful they were together, Adder slashing through flesh with his sabre, Janosh first blocking a hit with a shield and then smashing an axe to the enemy's skull. They worked in perfect sync, helping each other out when needed, focused and deadly. Years of fighting together had made them almost read each other's thoughts on a battlefield, so well they knew each other that they almost breathed at the same moment.
Next, celebration. Adder, among all his comrades, Loudyil, Slavek, and Ranyek included, even though Adder was not sure why he paid special attention to them. He took a long sip of beer in front of him, eyes closed. When he opened them, those three were nowhere to be seen. Instead of them, the table had a lot of new faces. Three youngsters, Henry, Hans, and Sam. Adder smiled at Henry, who had saved his life. Then there was an old man. Priest, Godwin, and healer, Musa. He was a foreigner like Adder, but from much further away than him.
They drank and sang and told stories. It was wonderful. And when the night progressed, the only ones still up were Janosh and him. Others had headed to bed or passed out. In light of the fireplace, Janosh's face was golden, and his eyes glimmered like the surface of a lush pond on a sunny day. Janosh smiled, and Adder smiled back. Janosh was a true friend, his best friend, his… everything.
Then Janosh touched his hand, and Adder looked at him. Janosh raised up and kissed his forehead.
"You will be okay", Janosh said in his language, beautiful Polish, in a soft tone that made it sound like a poem. Not that Adder really did know anything about poems, as he was an illiterate mercenary, but it was his favorite poem nonetheless. Janosh didn't usually speak to him in Polish unless it was meant only for his ears or it was unusually important.
"You will be okay… promise that. I can't…" Janosh stopped speaking.
"I will be", Adder answered, not sure why Janosh was so unsure of it.
"We will grow old together. So old you have a hard time getting your cock up", Janosh said. "I will cook for you every day, and you will tell your stupid stories about wenches you have lain with. And I will…" Janosh stopped speaking again.
"And you will what?" Adder asked.
"I will love you every day, till it's the right time to part. And it's not yet."
"It's not", Adder agreed. "That's a good future."
***
"Only time will tell, but it's not looking good", Katherine had said when she left the room after hugging Janosh. She knew what it felt like to lose someone, so a hug had meant a lot to Janosh, who was feeling everything and nothing at the same time.
"Thank you. Get sleep. I will look after him", Janosh answered.
"Wake me up if something happens."
Janosh nodded.
Then he waited. And waited.
Days passed without any clear progression in Adder's condition. He had a fever, which made both Katherine and Janosh worried that it would be the end, but Zizka said he had seen men burn sickness in their wounds away with fever, so it might not be a mark of death.
So he waited more. And more.
It was hopeless.
"You can't die, hey?" Janosh said when the week had passed, and Adder was still unconscious. Every day was more and more hopeless. "Who would Janosh fight with if you were not here? No one else will do. It's you and me. Together. So don't you go where Loudyil, Slavek, and Ranyek are. I not sure if smell carries into heaven or hell, but if it do, Ranyek would smell so bad. You don't want to go there. Stay here. Everyone is waiting for you to wake up and celebrate with them. So much beer to be drunk! I will even buy you a drink even if you owe me money, if you just wake up."
But Adder didn't wake up.
Janosh touched his hand. It was warm, but would it stay warm or… no. He didn't want to think otherwise.
God, he loved this man, but he had not said it. He had been a coward. It would have probably gone terribly, unless he had managed to say it vaguely enough to leave room to mean both platonic and romantic love. But now, the knowledge that he had not said it at all felt horrible.
Now he couldn't say it. But maybe he could at least say it with touch. Janosh leaned towards Adder and pressed a kiss on his forehead.
"You will be okay… promise that. I can't…", Janosh said in Polish. He paused before continuing: "We will grow old together. So old you have a hard time getting your cock up. I will cook for you every day, and you will tell your stupid stories about wenches you have lain with. And I will…"
It was so hard to say, even now that Adder was not conscious.
"I will love you every day, till it's the right time to part. And it's not yet."
"Good future", Adder mumbled.
Janosh backed away from Adder, his heart racing. Had Adder really spoken, or was he going mad? But then he saw how Adder's opened.
"Thank fucking God!" Janosh said loudly.
"I would rather fuck a wench", Adder said, his voice coarse and weak. Janosh rushed to give him water.
"I was starting to be sure you were done for", Janosh said when Adder had managed to sip some water.
"I thought the same… You should have left me, you had more important things than hauling my arse to... wherever we are."
"You think Janosh would have left you to rot? No. What would I do without you, hey?"
There was something strange in Adder's expression. Was it pain? No.
"Was it all a dream?" Adder asked.
"What dream?"
"You talked about growing old together… cooking food for me… things like that… "
Oh fuck, he heard it. Janosh needed to deny it. But then he remembered how he had regretted not telling Adder how much he meant to him.
"Maybe… maybe not", Janosh answered after a short pause.
Adder reached out, and his hand touched Janosh's own. He smiled.
Maybe it meant… No. Yes?
"It's a good future", Adder said. "What you told me about."
Then he intertwined his fingers with Janosh's, who decided that when Adder was healthy again, and they had to get out of this tricky situation in Suchdol, he would tell it aloud.
They would have a good future.