Work Text:
Agent Smith calls Neo up at an ungodly hour (booty call).
“Mr. Anderson, why are you dreaming about me taking your shirt off? Is this what you humans call slash?”
Neo hesitates on the other side of the line.
“H-how do you know that?”
“I see everything, Mr. Anderson.”
Neo doesn’t know what to make of that. A lot of inexplicable things have been occurring lately. Strange calls from odd men, dreaming about three men in business suits taking his shirt off & inserting foreign objects into his body. He can’t identify how he feels. Confused? Scared? Even aroused?
“Mr. Anderson… look outside.”
Neo sprints to the window and is greeted by Agent Smith’s beautiful, bulbous forehead. His glasses are off, his blue orbs glimmer in the moonlight, and Neo is astonished. Smith looks absolutely ravishing. Agent Smith uses his status as a computer program and the power of his Huge Fucking Forehead (HFF) to noclip through the wall.
Neo is so fucking confused. He hasn’t had the opportunity to process any of this. A man who he barely knows calls him up, makes vague sexual advances, and noclips through his wall. Is this heading where he thinks it’s heading?
“Mr Anderson…” He walks up and caresses Neo’s cheek. “Sugoi.” Neo says with such emotion it almost brings Smith to his knees. Neo can’t deny that he’s been enthralled by Smith’s forehead from the very moment he laid eyes on him.
He looks up at Smith, anticipating some lip on lip action, but Agent Smith pulls away. Neo hangs his head in devastation.
“Mr Anderson…” Smith starts, looking around Neo’s room, “...This is pathetic.”
Neo cranes his neck in confusion. “What?” He asks. He sounds a lot like Keanu Reeves.
“This is pathetic. You… humans are repulsive.”
Neo’s becoming impatient now. He huffs in annoyance. “Are we gonna fuck or what? Like– why are you here? Seriously, dude? I don’t have all day. It’s like.. fucking 3 in the morning, man. I have work tomorrow. I mean, I don’t like my job, but–” Agent Smith seizes him and throws him onto the bed.
TO BE CONTINUED