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r/advice · Posted by u/sunflower-kissed 13 hours ago
I saw my aunt kissing a man who isn't her boyfriend at a family dinner. What do I do?
Relationships
Longtime Reddit lurker here, never expected to actually post tbh. But I’ve been sitting on this for the past day or so, and I’m just really really confused on what to do.
So, for some context, my family and I just moved back to the city I was born in. A lot of my family lives here, so we were all catching up over family dinners. For this dinner, we were at my aunt "Kate"'s house.
I had just finished dinner and I was going to wash my hands when I saw my aunt with her arms around another man (he was super tall and bulky) and they were kissing. It wasn’t even like a small peck or anything, but like proper kissing. The hallway was dark but I know what I saw. I just left as quick as I could and then went to the kitchen.
Now before anyone says “oh what if that was her boyfriend”, no. Period. I’ve known her boyfriend Anthony (obviously not his real name) for at least the past four years. My aunt and him have been dating for seven years. He attends all our family events, and everyone in my family loves him. My grandfather adores him. He was there for my twelfth birthday. Anthony’s super cool and amazing. He remembers these small details about you that you wouldn’t think anyone would, and he’s always so patient with everyone, especially me.
The man my aunt was kissing looked like one of those guys who live in the gym. Super tall, bulked up. He looks like he moves furniture for fun. I couldn’t tell much more than that.
But Anthony was in the next room, chatting and laughing with my cousins.
I didn’t say anything to anyone. I don’t know who to say what to. I can’t tell my parents because they adore my aunt (she’s the only girl out of all of my dad’s siblings), I can’t tell my aunt I saw her, and I obviously can’t tell Anthony.
My aunt’s an awesome person too, or I thought so, at least. We’ve been really close since I was a kid, and we kept in touch when I moved away with my parents.
What do I do?
Edit: For some more explanation, my dad is the eldest of four siblings. He has two brothers and one sister, my aunt. She’s the youngest.
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u/yellowroses· 5 hours ago
Looking at your edit, I feel like this explains family dynamics a bit more. Kate appears to be the pampered one out of your aunts and uncles. Typical. The golden child always gets away with more than they think they can. She needs to be brought down a peg.
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u/sunflower-kissed · OP· 7 hours ago
Bro??? Nothing I said even implied that my aunt’s the pampered one or the golden child. Typical Redditors assuming things without knowing anything.
15 points Reply Share Report Save
u/PM_ME_YOUR_OSSIFIED_BONES· 3 hours ago
“he looks like he moves furniture for fun” LMAO
also the Bridgerton reference is sending me ahahaha
21 points Reply Share Report Save
u/sunflower-kissed · OP· 7 hours ago
Lol I was kinda hoping someone would notice. And I’m not kidding the guy did really look like that
15 points Reply Share Report Save
u/steadynow· 5 hours ago
OP, I think you should talk to your aunt.
34 points Reply Share Report Save
u/digitalpatriotism· 20 min ago
OP update us please!
RemindMe! 3 days
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u/RemindMeBot· 20 min ago
I will be messaging you in 3 days on 2026-06-06 13:05:38 UTC to remind you of this link.
CLICK THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.
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Saanvi rolled over in her bed, turning her phone off with a huff. Seeking advice from Reddit had turned out to be just as unfruitful as she was expecting.
Her gaze swept the half-decorated room; she had yet to fully decorate her childhood bedroom despite moving back two months ago. Some posters lined the wall above her bed—her favorites only: Taylor Swift, Lana Del Ray, Avatar, and a few others, but they were haphazard; you could see the half-outline of a shape she’d intended to make with her posters, but it was, as of yet, still incomplete. Her mom was quite irritated by that. Some of the shelves on the walls had books. The rest were still in boxes, either underneath her bed or somewhere in the garage. Her iPod lay on the side of her messy desk, and right next to the wardrobe were her fairy lights, all bundled up together.
Saanvi blew air out of her mouth, frustrated. She’d meant to put that up three days ago but had forgotten.
Her mind failed to get distracted, and immediately the image that had been haunting her for two days popped up again.
The dim strip light illuminating the hallway. Her aunt, standing on her tip-toes with her arms round a man she didn’t recognize. He looked tawny-golden under the warm yellow light. Them kissing.
Saanvi shut her eyes in irritation.
Opened her phone again, and swiped through her open apps to look for a diversion.
She saw her texts with her aunt were still open.
Saanvi swiped out of the chat, a wave of tangled emotions rushing over her.
How could she do it? she wondered, not for the first time. With Arjuna fufa in the next room too? I thought they loved each other.
Pursing her lips, she tapped on the Instagram icon with a little too much force.
The app opened, filling her screen with a blur of colors. She scrolled for a bit through ads and her friend's posts, and then frowned when her uncle’s handle popped up on her screen. She scrolled a little more to see a picture.
that_fire_guy
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that_fire_guy Healthy guy friendships mean you can hold hands with your best friend and not be embarrassed. Love you bro
@bhimalakhani21
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May 28, 2026
There was nothing to the picture, but something itched at Saanvi’s memory.
She zoomed in, but true to Instagram fashion, the image pixelated uselessly. It was…
The watch.
She hadn't seen his face. She'd barely seen anything at all, just the dark hallway and the silhouettes of the two people. It was nothing, she tried to tell herself. Lots of people had watches. Lots of people had bulky hands.
She put her phone face down on the bed and rolled over to stare at the ceiling, dragging her hands over her eyes.
I wish I hadn’t seen anything.
Well, at least she had Friday to look forward to with her aunt.
u/cosmic-rabble286 · 12 hours ago
You're stuck between a rock and a hard place, kid.
You have two options: tell someone about it, or don’t. If you choose not to, chances are Anthony’s going to find out eventually, but there won’t be any blame on you. The way you’ve described your family, it seems like your parents are fairly close to your aunt, so there’s going to be some fallout for certain. But it will weigh on you if you don’t.
If you do tell someone, you have to be careful about it. If you tell Anthony and he doesn’t believe you, you’ll be the scapegoat. If you drop it on your parents, chances are things will blow up quickly. If you tell your aunt, she might hide her cheating even more.
Personally, I’d want to know regardless. You and Anthony seem to have a cordial relationship, at least. Maybe you could try approaching him anonymously.
u/sunflower-kissed · OP · 10 hours ago
Yeah, I feel like I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.
What would I even say to him if I DMed him anonymously? “Hey, I was totally at your family dinner, and I saw your girlfriend cheating on you”?
u/follow_your_heat · 9 hours ago
it does make it significantly harder that they were seen at a family dinner and not outside. OP, any chance you have any other proof?
u/hummingrecreation318 · 6 hours ago
Jumping on the top comment to give you a short story of my own, OP.
I was also the kid in the situation. Except it was my dad cheating on my mum. I saw it, couldn’t get it out of my mind. I eventually told my mum, but she didn’t take it well at all.
I was screamed at, practically disowned, and made the family scapegoat on both sides. I moved out at 18 and went no-contact with most of my immediate family. But my mum was a bit of a nutter, and I don’t expect that your aunt might react the same. You’re also a few degrees removed from the situation.
I don’t have any advice that’ll kiss it all better, but just to give you a heads up on how nasty adults can get.
u/sunflower-kissed · OP· 6 hours ago
Jeez, I’m sorry about that, dude. Sounds like both your parents were POSes. I very much hope this doesn’t happen, my dad’s super close to his siblings and I don’t want to be the cause of my family falling apart.
Also, what’s with everyone assuming I’m a kid, bruh? Yes, I’m young, but it’s embarrassing.
u/jubilantcomer619· 2 hours ago
How old are you?
u/sunflower-kissed · OP· 35 min ago
Dude, I’m not doxxing myself. There’s a reason I posted here instead of r/relationships or something.
u/capsule_of_ears· 9 hours ago
Genuinely, this isn’t your problem. You’ve just moved back, you don’t know your aunt and her relationship very well. Don’t get involved in something that could implode her life, and yours by extension. It sucks, yes, but people make messes that you’re not obliged to involve yourself in. Let it go, and leave it to her to clean up the mess she’s in.
u/WhoppingInvasion· 8 hours ago
What mess is the aunt even in? From the way OP framed it, no one saw her except one person.
Also, cheaters are fucking assholes and their partners absolutely need to know. There’s no reason for the aunt to get away with what she’s doing.
u/sunflower-kissed · OP· 7 hours ago
But I can’t unsee what I saw, can I? I wish I could.
Anthony’s such a nice person. How am I supposed to interact with him knowing what I know and not telling him?
u/FatherlyTavern· 12 hours ago
Don’t say anything. It may just be possible that they’re in an open relationship, and that Anthony knows. Relationships are complicated and a lot of stuff are hidden from the outer world. You risk embarrassing yourself if you do tell on Kate and her boyfriend already knows.
u/Clue-Smith-018· 12 hours ago
Oh, great. Here come the Reddit comments suggesting that every cheater’s in an open relationship.
u/sunflower-kissed · OP· 8 hours ago
No offense but I highly doubt that. Anthony’s practically a part of our family now. They’re not exactly hiding anything about their relationship. Also my aunt lives like 15 minutes away from my grandparents. There’s no way she can be in such an relationship without them knowing lmao.
u/FatherlyTavern· 7 hours ago
Not to be blunt, but there are multiple reasons why your aunt could be hiding such a relationship. Your grandparents may not be comfortable with something like this.
u/sunflower-kissed · OP· 7 hours ago
Dude, my dad’s trans. I’d say my grandparents are very open-minded.