Chapter Text
Chapter One : Naruto Uzumaki
Naruto's POV:
I'm sitting on top of my dad's stone head like I used to as a kid, as I gaze up at the glittering night sky a pair of obsidian eyes and raven colored hair flashes through my head. 'Why can't I stop thinking about Sasuke? The way he looked at me after we fought after the war as we laid on the ground in The Valley of the End... I can't get it out of my head... What did that look in his eyes mean?...Why did he leave me again...after everything?' I groaned and shook my head. I had enough things to worry about, I was studying to climb up the Shinobi ranks, that is what I need to focus on. But my mind always goes back to him...How he left on his own again...after how hard I tried to bring him back and show him, he is still Sasuke Uchiha of the Village Hidden in the Leaves.
Tears came up in my eyes and, I wiped them away quickly...Why have I been getting so emotional thinking about Sasuke? What does Sasuke really mean to me? Why do I feel this way? I asked myself as I stared up into the endless midnight sky. Those beautiful velvety black eyes and pitch black hair, his slender yet muscular body and his beautiful face... his skin so pale yet beautiful under the setting sun and his lips so perfectly pink and beautiful. Wait a minute... Why am I thinking about Sasuke like this? I laid down with a thud and look at my bandaged arm and I wonder... Sasuke is he truly okay with one arm?
Oh who I am kidding my rival is far stronger than that. I haven't been sleeping well or at all really, I've only gone to study with Iruka-Sensei and then I go home where I barely sleep or eat most nights. Kakashi-Sensei took me off missions for now too "Focus on school" Yea right he wants to say something but doesn't they don't know what happens in the empty apartment...the loneliness eats me alive among other things. The only comfort I have relies on my kunai, the one that came at me so many times by the boy I yearned for. I sighed as I laid down on my dad's head, letting the tears fall down my face and before I knew it I fell asleep. Praying that I get to see a certain face again.
The sleep didn't last long, I kept waking up to the images of thousands of dead Shinobi; The Allied Forces flashes through my head... The guilt comes back, if I were stronger, if I had stopped Obito when he came to me instead of being depressed...Maybe things would've been different, not as many would've died. For the last two years I've been haunted with dreams of the dead...people who died fighting to protect me. I think of all the Shinobi that died for peace...I'm a Hero everywhere in all 5 great nations and some small ones are still allies mostly because the threat of the Otsutsuki is still too great of a fear. Sasuke is out looking for them on his path to redemption, so much for 'My only friend' who leaves their only friend again after being away for so long?
I woke up in the middle of the night still on top of the Fourth Hokage's head. I looked at the stars and cried thinking of my master and what he wanted for this world...who I'm supposed to be? My master is dead thousands of Shinobi are dead and I still remain unharmed but then why do I feel this way? I shake my head and jump down and walk back to my apartment, despite being the village hero every night I'm all alone. It confirms to me that I've failed to build anything solid..I have failed to build anything truly meaningful. Is this the fate of the Uzumaki to be uncounciously shunned as Jinchuriki? I don't know anymore; the only thing I know is I need to stop the pain somehow; the only time it stops is when the kunai hits my arm; the only consistent thing I have I in my life is my self harming. The only comfort.
In my house is a picture of my Master and the more time passes on the more depressed I get, why did they have to send him to fight an Akatsuki member? Yes he was a legendary sage one of the legendary three but he was still my grandfather... Ero-Sennin why did you have to leave me all alone? I cry out falling to the floor grabbing my head, I keep seeing everyone who died in my head. Ero-Sennin please tell me what to do, I asked but no reply came. I eventually fell asleep on my floor from crying or dehydration I didn't know which. My place is a mess and I need to leave I need to leave the village, the memories of my master and the memories of war behind. The memories of Sasuke... the tightness in my chest when I think of how much I want him to come back. I need to get away from everything, before the grief of everything eats me alive and leaves nothing left.
"Naruto...you need to eat what you see in your dreams isn't true, because of you Naruto there is peace in the Shinobi world...yes people died but Naruto you did everything you could. The enemies you fought against and were victorious against were very formidable, you did great considering the circumstances." Kurama said to me and for some reason not even Kurama could make me feel better anymore. "Naruto if this is about Sasuke..." Kurama said "Its not just about Sasuke and you know it...Kurama you know I haven't been able to sleep because of the nightmares...alls I see are the dead shinobi." I said to Kurama my voice breaking I couldn't stand who I've become weak and pitiful.
I am Naruto Uzumaki dattebayo! But even I couldn't believe it when I looked at myself. "Naruto you have to move on and stop needlessly blaming yourself. Doing that won't help you or the dead. They will not come back no matter how much you try to blame yourself. And Naruto you are not to blame; they don't call you the hero of the Shinobi world for no reason " Kurama said "That's why I need to leave the village just for a little I need to be alone somewhere that's not my depressing apartment. Somewhere far away from my memories of that Baka Sasuke." I said before ignoring him and laying down watching the night sky drift to dawn before falling asleep again.
Kakashi POV:
"Ne, Shikamaru I'm really worried about Naruto it's been 2 years since the end of the war yet it seems like something is bothering him about it." I said while I look at Shikamaru who has his head down before looking at me and I can see the sadness in his eyes behind his aloof expression. "What a drag this guy Naruto is...I found him the other day in his apartment...he hadn't slept properly in days...Lord 6th I think this war is having lasting affects and the death of Jiraiya-Sama he never fully got to grieve his master and he told me so many people died in the war because of him..." Shikamaru said, worry evident in his tone, it was unlike Shikamaru to reveal so much to Kakashi and equally unlike him to speak this much in such a worried way. "Have you seen him today?" I asked him, Shikamaru shook his head no. "I'll go check on him" I said and got up to go visit my precious student. I look down into my desk drawer before leaving of this photo I took secretly of Naruto and Sasuke which seems like ages ago now...
I look down into my desk drawer before leaving of this photo I took secretly of Naruto and Sasuke which seems like ages ago now
I feel sometimes as though I have failed my Sensei; the mission he gave me to protect Kushina and Naruto. The unspoken promise between us for me to protect his son no matter what. Lord 4th I will do right by Naruto; I thought and went to go buy some groceries for Naruto.
After buying the groceries as I walked towards Naruto's apartment Sakura stopped me. "Lord 6th I'me very worried about Naruto, he hasn't been himself, barely talking barely eating something is wrong...He won't talk to me he just looks at me and tells me he wants to be alone." Sakura told me tears coming to her eyes; I knew how close Naruto and Sakura were, especially after everything that had happened. So if Naruto was pushing away even Sakura something had to be bothering him. I told Sakura my plan and continued towards Naruto's apartment.
After the couple minute walk, I get there and I knock...No response, I knock again harder... nothing. "Naruto I'm coming in!!!!" I yell and force the door open. What I saw was something I had never seen before how did it get this bad? I asked myself...Naruto was skinny... His face gaunt and pale with deep bags and his bright blue eyes looked dull and grey as if someone took the light out of him. He sat on the floor looking at me tear stains across his face looking how he did years ago...But now he was sadder and I had completely ignored him again...
"Naruto what's wrong?" I asked him bending down and helping him up... Naruto what happened to you? I think to myself. "Kakashi Sensei..." Naruto says his voice hoarse and cracking like he hasn't drank water in days. "I can't sleep Kakashi Sensei, I see everyone in my head my master, my mother and father, Nagato, Itachi the Allied Shinbo forces all the Jinchuriki who died horrible gruesome deaths because of what was inside them. And Kakashi Sensei I failed to save Sasuke I failed to bring him back and show him he was still Sasuke Uchiha of the Hidden Leaf just as Itachi remained Itachi Uchiha of the Hidden Leaf until the end.
I want to return his faith in the village and me...It's all too much I can't breathe here." Naruto cried out to me. I hugged my student not knowing what else I could offer. "Do you wish to leave the Hidden leaf?" I asked him, "I want to go out and get fresh air travel around like Ero Sennin did. I want to remember who Naruto Uzumaki is and I want to remember who I wanted to be... I want to discover more about my master and then I want to travel to the Hidden Eddy Village I must try to uncover my Uzumaki heritage and unlock the chains that can defeat the Otsutsuki. " He told me, hearing my student say this broke my heart but also he had a good point and maybe he would benefit from some freedom. So as any good Sensei would, I granted his wish on a few conditions. "Naruto... I Will allow you to leave the village under a few conditions..." I said and he looked at me with hopeful eyes. "First you must go to Mt. Myoboku, Master Jiraiya told me that if you were ever struggling to send you there and they would take care of you. And after I'm sure you are ready to resume missions you will be allowed to travel to the Land of Whirlpools with the assistance of Shikamaru, Sai and Sakura is that understood?" I said to him
"What will I do there?" He asked me sitting on the floor he seemed so small so unlike the Naruto I knew. "Jiraiya-sama wished for you to return to Lord Fukasaku and Lady Shima and train to the highest level. Build your routine back up enjoy the peaceful land of the toads connect with the place that only you and your master share... and I am sure you will remember who Naruto Uzumaki is. Not just as the Child of Prophecy but who really Naruto Uzumaki is." I said to my student. "Okay Kakashi-sensei I'll make sure I'm ready to leave." He said and smiled at me but I still was worried; his smile didn't reach his eyes and he didn't laugh or talk how he did not even once. "I'll walk you home" I said following him out the door; he just nodded and began walking.
Naruto POV:
"Naurto go get ready I will inform Mt. Myoboku that you will be arriving tomorrow to resume your training in order to combat the unforeseen risks the Otsutsuki Clan poses. So get ready get packed and please try to sleep tonight and eat something please." Kakashi-sensei said to me as he closed my door. I ate a small snack some onigiris' Sakura gave me earlier. I then went to shower standing in the hot water forever thinking about one thing... Those ebony eyes and his face...did our friendship and everything over these past years mean nothing to him? I shook my head, snap out of it Naruto you must train the dream of peace Jiraiya-sama passed down to me is still not fully secure, I must be ready for when the Otsutsuki Clan shows themselves again. If anyone can find them its Sasuke...And when he does I will be ready we will be their targets. And I will be ready to protect the people I love and the village I call home. Hopefully I can get strong enough to protect our planet from the unknown.
I got out of the shower my thoughts still plague by a certain black haired man. I packed my bag and went out to buy some snacks. "Naruto...?" A voice whispered and Iruka Sensei appeared before me "Hey Iruka sensei how are you?" I said not quite recognizing my own voice. "I'm good how about we go get some Ichiraku ramen my treat you can get whatever you want!" He said and grabbing my wrist hopefully he doesn't notice the faint lines going up and down both wrists. I sigh as he quickly leading me to my favorite ramen. I didn't feel like eating...but it would worry Iruka-sensei too much and it would confirm the worried glances he was already giving me. I must look terrible
After how fast Kakashi-sensei agreed maybe he's given up on me? I quickly pushed my thoughts away when they drifted it was always negative. "Hey Pops just give me a regular miso ramen with pork slices and Naruto fishcake." I said trying to smile at Pops and Ayame, "You got it coming right up!" He smiled. "Thanks Iruka-senei since I'll be leaving to complete my training at Mt. Myoboku so it was nice to see you before I left." I said unable to meet Iruka-senseis eyes; that were growing more worried by the minute. "Naruto you know I love you right...whenever your struggling its okay to come to me your like my son Naruto don't be afraid." Iruka-Sensei said; I kept my head down only nodding the tears threatening to spill out. He laid his hand on my back telling me he understood. "Don't worry Naruto you will return to the village once again even stronger and more determined then before I have no doubt! Because that's who Naruto Uzumaki is!" He said Just as Pops put our bowls down and for the first time in a while I felt myself smile..."Ne, thank you Iruka-Sensei."
His eyes crinkled shut and he smiled brightly "Naruto you are the one who opened my heart back up to the world because I saw myself in you and I wanted to be there for you and protect you." He said before we began to eat and I actually eat a full meal for the first time in a while. Maybe this is exactly what I needed...
"Thank you Iruka-sensei!" I said as he dropped me off at my apartment. Iruka smiled at me and said, "Anytime you know you're like my child and I love you, and please be safe on your training and please come back home when you're done." Iruka said with tears in his eyes. I smiled sadly, Iruka-sensei if it wasn't for you I thought, my life would be completely different. Who knows where I would be without him. "I will not fail to come back to the leaf stronger than ever before Iruka-sensei, I am Naruto Uzumaki after all dattebayo!!" I said making sure he wouldn't worry too much about how much I've changed. He smiled and closed my door bidding me a goodnight. After that I laid in bed finally dreaming a happy dream... One where my wish came true and I slept peacefully away from the nightmares in the strong arms of a certain someone.