Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

There are things in life that are simply true, those ideas that don't change over time, regardless of who you are or where you come from. Universal truths. Like how change is constant and very much inevitable, every action has a consequence, or the fact we're all gonna die one day. Natural laws, if you will; the kind of thing you can say out loud in a room full of people with the absolute certainty no one would ever try to refute it. Universal truths transcend even individual beliefs, but today Emma Swan would like to make an exception, an addition to the list:

Algebra absolutely sucks.

"Can we take a break?" she asks.

This must be only the third time she's ever dared to interrupt Regina as she explains something, because frankly she's not a child anymore and understands she needs the tutoring sessions more than Regina could ever need any amount of extra credit. But it's hard to keep her focus on something so incredibly boring, so she decides to stop trying and is faced with a visibly annoyed, clearly exasperated Regina, who -by the looks of it- has little to no patience for the particularly unproductive mood she's in today.

"No, we can't. You're already falling behind in class as it is" she points out "So do try to focus"

"I could say the same"

And sure, maybe that was a little bit snarky, and maybe she deserves the deathly look Regina sends her way.

"Wathever do you mean?"

"Well, you know" too late to back down "You've been over the same problem three times already, I think I know how to do polynomials by now"

Regina takes a long, deep breath.

"Anything else?" she asks. And Emma knows she's just being sarcastic, but-

"You're... Fidgety"

To her surprise, there's no book flying towards her head. Regina just looks at her impassively and mutters a 'solve the problems, Swan'. There's silence after that, the kind of heavy, suffocating silence that makes Emma want to squirm in her seat after a while. She figures, however, that Regina has already had enough of her for the day and there's no way to tell if a book will come flying at her head the next time she tries something. And she keeps that in mind as she does her best to concentrate, but it's still hard, specially because the comment about Regina being fidgety was entirely true, and this is so uncharacteristic for her as it is distracting for Emma, who is about to ask Regina if she's okay when the brunette beats her to it.

"Have you ever been on a date before?"

Emma tries her best to act like that wasn't the last thing she expected to hear from Regina, but her movements stilling as soon as the words are out in the open sort of give her away. To make matters worse, Regina's decidedly not looking at her as the question just sits there between them. And when no further context or clarification is given, she just decides to go with it.

"I... Yes?" she scratches the back of her neck "I mean, yes, obviously"

Regina just gives a tiny nod, eyes still focused on the textbook. Emma for her part, is trying to figure out how polynomials turned into this.

"I dated this guy for a while during sophomore year" she adds, nothing better to say coming to mind, at least for now.

"Oh, i know" is the response she receives, and "Everyone talked about it for a while"

"Right"

She'd love to be able to say she had no idea about that, but unfortunately for her, she absolutely did. It turns out dating a twenty year old at sixteen is bound to generate some kind of discussion once everyone finds out. But that's not important right now, not when another pause settles between them, like none of them really know how to continue from there. Not when Regina's fingers trace the edge of the page she's looking at with deliberate slowness before they still.

"Did you two ever kiss?"

Emma desperately wants to disappear into her chair.

"I'm sorry" a nervous laugh escapes her "Why are we talking about this?"

Regina exhales sharply "Forget it"

"I just want to understand where this came from" she hurriedly explains "We don't talk about these stuff"

It's true, they're not exactly the best of friends by any means. Sure, Regina has been tutoring Emma for a bit now and her grades have been slowly getting better, which is great. They see each other very often and spend more time together than they would ever do at school; and there's been some more small talk lately. But whenever they're together it's mostly just reading, studying... Emma getting easily distracted when a topic she deems boring enough comes into play. Her messing with Regina's nerves. That's their dynamic.
So Regina doesn't argue with that.

"There's this boy from my riding lessons. Robin" she finally says "He asked me out on a date"

"Oh" Emma straightens a little, then very awkwardly nudges Regina's side in what's meant to be a playful gesture "What's the problem then? Do you need help choosing an outfit? Some dating tips or-"

Regina visibly stifles a laugh.

"It's not that, Emma... I think" she makes a pause, as if trying to find the right words "He might just want to kiss me or something"

Emma can only blink in response, because this just keeps getting better somehow. 

"... Okay" she says after a second "What about it?"

She could swear Regina blushes "Nothing"

She decides to watch her then, to really pay attention and try to decipher what's wrong. There's an undeniable tension in her shoulders, and at the same time a restlessness about her, something uncertain and just a little too vulnerable in her expression. That's when it clicks.

Wait.

"Have you never kissed anyone?"

When Regina hesitates that's answer enough for her.

"Seriously? You've never...?"

"It's not exactly a requirement" Regina's jaw tightens and her blush deepens "I should go"

It takes a second for Emma to register what's happening, but when she does she's immediately out of her seat.

"Wait, don't do that" she wraps her fingers around Regina's wrist. It's barely an attempt to keep her from leaving, but Regina still looks at her fingers on her skin like they just offended her. So she raises her hands, palms out in mock surrender "I promise I'll keep my mouth shut"

"You're not very good at that" she looks at Emma, unconvinced "Besides, I could use some advice"

It sounds like asking for help genuinely pains her, which would be funny if she didn't need help with kissing specifically, and she didn't pretend for Emma to provide said help on top of that. But Emma guides her back to the table nonetheless, where they sit side by side once again, looking at each other until she musters the courage to speak. Nobody can blame her for needing a minute, she's supposed to be studying after all.

"I'm not sure what you want me to say, it's not a big deal" she huffs out a quiet laugh, trying to lighten the mood "Worst case scenario he's probably a terrible kisser anyway, most guys are kinda too desperate for it"

Regina laughs despite herself, then goes back to looking terrified as ever "That's not particularly helpful"

Emma doesn't really know where to start with this. Should she put on a movie where there's a kiss so she can watch? Should she try to explain the logistics of it? Should she give her some dumb demonstration like a thirteen year old at a sleepover? None of that sounds like a good idea. And yet. The idea is forming in her mind as she says it.

"I could help you practice if you want"

The laugh Regina lets out is the most sincere Emma's ever heard from her so far, and for a minute there the reaction kind of stings, because it can't possibly be that unthinkable. But since she doesn't start laughing as well, Regina stops all together to stare at her.

"You're serious"

"Yep" Emma shrugs, she might as well finish embarrassing herself.

Regina studies her, as if she's waiting for her to just say the whole thing is a joke. Not surprisingly, Emma does the opposite

"I know a thing or two about it and you clearly don't" she reasons "It doesn't have to mean anything, friends do it all the time"

Regina looks slightly scandalized by this "Do you?"

Emma suppresses the need to facepalm, after all, she just digged her own grave with that one. Funnily enough she doesn't go around kissing her friends, and she probably wouldn't make the same offer to them if they had a remotely similar problem. She guesses that's because she's known them for years so it would be weird, although maybe Ruby would be down for it if she asked, but it's not like she would... Anyway, this is different.

"Not really, but it's a thing" she shrugs.

"I suppose" Regina muses, then she seems to wonder aloud "Are we friends, though?" 

Out of all the questions she could come up with, that one gets a smile out of Emma.

"We could be if it won't damage your reputation"

She fully expects Regina to roll her eyes in response, maybe even laugh. What she doesn't expect is for her to mutter a soft I need a minute before leaving the room and locking herself in the bathroom down the hall, leaving Emma alone at the table thinking she messed things up majorly. So she's left there spiraling for a minute until she realizes any sensible person -any sensible person who wants to be friends with someone no less- would have checked in on Regina by now. Only then she allows her feet to take her to the bathroom door, where she reluctantly knocks against all instincts telling her to go back.

---

"You good in there?" Emma's words are muffled through the door "Look, I'm sorry, okay? We can go back to algebra, I'll listen"

Of course Emma would try to fix things as soon as possible, even when she did nothing wrong, not really. And of course she can't even grant Regina a few minutes to be alone with her thoughts. It's exasperating and so very Emma, to the point she can't even be mad about it. They might not be best friends exactly, but she's come to know the girl quite well and she's painfully predictable sometimes. She waits, until she decides that Emma's had enough to open the door. There's also the fact she would've had to hear her knocking and offering solutions nonstop if she stayed inside. In any case, she's in front of her now.

"I need you to promise me nobody will ever hear about this"

Emma's quick to reassure her "I would never do that, Regina. I promise, we can just-"

She figures the rambling will only make them waste time, so she cuts it off.

"You can teach me" she says "But this is purely... Educational"

Emma looks at her like she just spoke an entirely different language. Of course she understands the predicament, but that's besides the point.

"Are we really doing this?" Emma asks.

This is overly ridiculous "You suggested it!"

"And I obviously didn't think you'd say yes!"

Regina groans, now even more irritated than when Emma was refusing to pay attention to her a while ago. So she partially mirrors the blonde's previous actions, grabbing her by the hand to drag her towards the couch in the living room. Emma doesn't protest right away, but after Regina practically forces her onto the couch next to her she apparently just has to say something.

"You're really rude, you know that?"

Regina, to her credit, almost seems apologetic when she speaks "You were testing my patience"

She feels rather than sees Emma looking at her, and she thinks that perhaps she already regrets ever making the offer, because why would she actually want to go through with something like that in the first place? They barely know each other outside of tutoring, so it doesn't make any sense in the end. That's the thought that makes her start to second guess herself, which seemingly gives Emma time to gather some much needed courage, because the next thing she knows is they're now sitting closer together than before.

"First thing you need to know is he'll probably kiss you anyway, you'll just have to kiss him back" she starts and Regina just nods "You'll need to be able to hold eye contact for that though. Can you even try to look at me right now?"

She can't fully hide her surprise at the teasing tone, which Emma immediately senses and a quiet chuckle escapes her. She knows that she's messing with her, but still stupidly turns to glare in her direction in a clear lapse of judgement. They're so close now that she notices for the first time Emma has freckles, and she thinks maybe she should pay more attention if they're going to be friends. That's interrupted by the feeling of Emma's fingers cradling the nape of her neck, making her eyes shoot up to hers on their own accord.

"He might just give you a peck if he's shy" why is she having so much fun with this? "Like this"

Emma's lips are on hers before she knows it, and it feels... Nice? She guesses. But it doesn't last long enough for her to form an actual opinion on it, and she looks at Emma when it's over, mild disappointment etching her features.

"That's it?" she asks quietly.

"That's one way of doing it" she can feel when Emma pulls at her hair tie, letting her hair free and subtly running her fingers through it. That alone feels nicer than the kiss was "Try to relax and follow my lead, okay? It's just a kiss"

She nods, eyes on Emma's lips and Emma's eyes everywhere but on hers. For a moment it seems like she pauses, but she gets closer and all hesitation is gone as fast as it came. This time when Emma kisses her it's immediately different from before, she moves her lips over hers and gently tugs at her bottom lip so she does the same. She imitates what Emma's doing and the sensations this brings to her are so new she's not entirely sure if that's what she's supposed to feel. The only thing she knows is she wants more of it. When Emma's fingers travel down from her neck to her waist, her skin tingles where they touch, her own hand coming to rest on Emma's shoulder, mostly because she doesn't know what to do with her hands but at least that's something. Then Emma nips at her lip, a bit firmer this time, and the breathy sound that escapes her is not one she remembers ever making before. It's that sound that seems to make Emma pull away abruptly.

"Okay, uh, not bad" she smiles, looking pleasantly surprised.

Maybe it's the overachiever in Regina, but she feels great about it.

"It was nice, yes" she admits, lips still tingling from their kiss.

"That's- yeah, that's kind of the point, just" Emma leans in just slightly, and Regina almost wants her to kiss her again "... Don't get carried away on the first date"

She stands and Regina watches her go, back to the table, to the books and the unfinished worksheet that was long forgotten. And she thinks she's screwed, because if kissing Robin will feel half as good maybe she should worry about getting carried away.

Chapter Text

Some people truly have no sense of loyalty, or maybe that's an exaggeration, but it's how Emma feels now that her self-proclaimed best friend -who will fight Lily if she so much as insinuates she's closer to Emma- has abandoned her in English class to go hit on Belle across the room. Of course, she understands that Ruby's crush on Belle has been a thing since forever, and she's tried to get her attention before, even back when she was with that horrible boyfriend she kept breaking up with every two months. The difference now is that they broke up for good, and it's Ruby's chance to shoot her shot. Just maybe not by abandoning her friend.

Emma's about to send a very angry text to her traitor of a friend, when her plans are interrupted by someone taking the seat next to her. She turns to her left, only to see Regina there looking almost equally irritated.

"Ruby stole my partner" she says. No 'hi' no 'good morning, Emma' she goes straight to "Why?"

It takes longer than it should for Emma to understand she actually expects an answer to her question.

"She ditched me to go flirt with her, that's why"

Regina tilts her head to the side "She likes Belle?"

She nods. Regina looks like she's trying very hard to keep her face neutral, far more amused by this than Emma could've ever predicted.

"I don't think that will happen" she huffs out a laugh "Ruby's not her type"

Emma snorts "Did Belle tell you that?"

"No, Emma" she rolls her eyes "They're just very different from each other, how would that even work?"

"Opposites attract" she shrugs.

Regina pinches the bridge of her nose, the same way she does when Emma stops listening at the prospect of having to study for any of her classes.

"Think about it" she insists "That's like if you and I started dating"

While it is funny to think about being Regina's girlfriend -especially since she's pretty sure she's not the kind of person Regina would date anyway- it's the way she says this, as if the idea is completely absurd, that gives Emma pause. It's not like she ever entertained the possibility of being with her before, but that sounded awfully close to rejection. Logically speaking, it shouldn't bother her, but it does and she doesn't have the time now to stop and think about what that could mean.

"I don't like your tone" Emma practically glares "What's the issue if we did?"

"Why?" Regina shoots back without missing a beat "Are you planning to sweep me off my feet?"

"I totally could if I wanted to"

"Oh really?" Regina bites back a smirk "Should I ask Neal what I'm getting into?"

The glare intensifies. She doesn't appreciate the implication that she's somehow lying and this is the second time Regina brings up her ex, which is unnecessary. It only makes Emma wonder why she feels the need to mention him in the first place, let alone right now.

"What's your problem?" she mutters "You keep mentioning Neal"

Regina looks down at her desk "I... I simply don't like him"

"You don't even know him!"

"Well, I-"

"Swan, Mills" their teacher breaks their little bickering bubble by calling on them, in a way Emma's certain Regina's never been on the receiving end of "I hope you're discussing the book or you'll need to tell the class what has you both so entertained"

They hesitate for what seems like an eternity before Emma, sweet aggravating Emma, decides to speak.

"I was just telling Regina that Darcy is really rude to Elizabeth"

Regina scoffs "Maybe Elizabeth's too easy to rile up"

The response is so immediate Emma's momentarily caught off guard by it. When she forces herself to reply her words come out with an unmistakable childish quality to them.

"Maybe Darcy is just rude"

"You already said that" Regina points out.

Emma groans, turning her gaze back to her notebook, as if she was ever taking notes before this. Everyone's eyes are on them at this point, the display interesting enough to get the attention of the rest of the class. The teacher looks between them like she's not even sure if she wants to deal with whatever they got going on, but it seems like she makes a decision once she simply goes back to the lesson as if nothing happened.

Emma turns to Regina not long after, having enough common sense to keep her words a whisper.

"You're right, I wouldn't date you"

Regina doesn't bother to turn her head.

"Good" she busies herself writing something down "I didn't think you'd want to anyway"

---

When Regina started tutoring Emma it was all very cautious between them, they never spent time together before and were practically strangers, save for a couple classes they already shared. Regina has always been a disciplined student, to the point maintaining perfect grades seems effortless for her by now. Emma on the other hand, has always been focused on sports, an average student. They should've never interacted, but then Emma started falling behind in a few of her classes by the second half of junior year, and by the time she was about to become a senior her coach threatened to kick her out of the team. That's why -as far as Regina knows- her counselor suggested tutoring sessions to which she reluctantly agreed.

Little did she know they'd be walking home together quite often, or that they would come to a point in where she allows Emma to roam around her kitchen as she checks on the worksheet she just finished.

"Are you physically unable to stay put?" she sighs.

She's seen Emma take a peek at every corner of the kitchen at least twice and it's becoming increasingly distracting.

"Sorry" Emma visibly deflates, directing the most shameless puppy eyes straight at her "I'm just bored"

"You'll have plenty to do as soon as I finish this, there's still a Chemistry assignment you need to finish"

Emma says something under her breath Regina would much rather ignore and resumes her incessant pacing. Predictably enough, she gives up on trying to behave by the one minute mark.

"So how was your date?" she rests her elbows on the counter.

Regina barely acknowledges the question "Good, he's sweet"

"And?"

"As I said" she lifts her gaze "I don't think he wants anything serious"

"He definitely wants something if he-"

Something does fly her way this time, a pen that barely touches her but that won't keep her from narrowing her eyes at Regina.

"You know what? I take it back. You're too fucking rude"

"Is that your word of the day?" she asks dryly "But you might be right... I don't think we'll see each other again though, the kiss was less than ideal"

Emma perks up at the opportunity to keep the conversation going "You kissed?"

"More like he tried to shove his tongue inside my mouth"

They grimace in perfect sync. Regina because the memory is just not pleasant at all, and Emma because it sounds like a fairly disgusting experience.

"He didn't give you a warning?" Emma half-jokes "That's like rule number one of kissing"

Regina stifles a laugh "It wasn't just him though. I froze"

She fully expects Emma to laugh at this, but the laugh and mocking never comes.

"Yeah, I would expect that" Emma scrunches up her nose "You've never done that before and it's kinda gross like that"

Disgust is evident in Regina's face "I don't think I ever want to do that again"

"Oh, don't let this ruin it for you"

"I'm not" Regina says "I just don't think I'll like it anyway"

Now, one thing to know about Emma is that she has a lot of fun teasing Regina, and she has also come to know her well enough to be sure she doesn't really believe that.

"You don't even know how it's supposed to feel"

"I know enough" she swiftly returns to the papers scattered on the counter, looking for those Chemistry notes, Emma assumes. That won't happen if she can avoid it.

"You're just saying that because you hate not knowing how to do stuff perfectly on the first try"

Regina stills. Point for Emma.

"I could do that right now and I would not like it" Regina crosses her arms over her chest.

Emma's head tilts subtly "Is that a challenge?"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Swan"

That should be the end of it, but Emma's not one to back out from a challenge and Regina would kick her ass if she got closer without her wanting this, so the only thing she has to lose is her dignity in that case. She rounds the counter, intent on keeping her confidence intact this time. Last time they stepped into this particular territory she was nervous for a second there and that just won't do, something she keeps in mind when she carefully withdraws the notes from Regina's fingers, adjusting the bar stool she's sitting on so she's facing her completely.

"Do you actually want me to do this or was that all bluff?" she asks, and Regina's brows knit together momentarily lost "I need to make sure, if my tongue's gonna be in your mouth, you know?"

Regina huffs out a quiet laugh "No, Emma. I'm not bluffing"

"Cool" she grins, hands tentatively coming up to rest on Regina's shoulders "Now, allow me to prove you wrong"

A brief silence settles as Emma's fingers -just like the last time- hold the base of Regina's neck to keep her in place. Only now a quiet understanding passes between them, like the implications of what they were doing didn't register the first time, but they definitely do now. Maybe that's why Emma halts a hairsbreadth away from Regina's lips, as if giving her the chance to back out of it. She tells herself she does it for Regina, to make sure she's comfortable, and while that's completely true she knows deep down it's also because she suddenly forgot how to do this. So when Regina's the one to ultimately close the distance it takes her by surprise, and for a terrifying second her brain and her body stop communicating with each other.

The shock doesn't last too long, thankfully. Her lips start following her pace and she gets closer to Regina by the second, not thinking anything of it when she ends up standing in the space between her legs. Then, remembering why they're doing this, she runs her tongue over Regina's lip. She doesn't immediately pull away like Emma expects her to do, wrapping her arms around her neck for leverage, and when Emma tries that again her lips part slightly, allowing her tongue to slip inside just barely. She indulges in the feeling of kissing Regina for a moment too long, then pulls away, their lips barely touching as they breathe each other's air. 

"Did you feel what I did?" she asks. Regina answers with an absent-minded nod, like she's dizzy from that kiss alone.

Emma's touch settles at her waist, thumbs moving in a slow, steady rhythm.

"Try to do the same" she says.

When she finds Regina's lips again it doesn't take long for her to feel her tongue faintly nudging her own, and the brunette pulling her even closer to her body, so close she can feel the rise and fall of her chest with every breath. She makes no move to stop her, keeping a firm grip on Regina's waist as they kiss more deeply. She hadn't noticed it the first time -too focused on not letting herself forget it was merely to help her out- but Regina kisses just like she does most things: with a fierce determination she can't entirely keep under wraps. When Emma really thinks about it, it's almost infuriating that she likes this way more than she originally expected, and if the way Regina's breath hitches when her fingers ghost over the skin of her lower back is anything to go by, she figures she likes it too.

The fleeting thought of wanting to do this more often crosses her mind, a fleeting thought indeed, because the front door opening makes them spring apart completely. She stand there, frozen, and Regina has to basically manhandle her into a seat next to her. Luckily for them, the Mills mansion is huge and the kitchen is nowhere near the entrance, so they do have a few moments to try to look normal by the time Cora Mills gets to them.

"Emma, dear, it's good to see you" she says, already moving past her to greet Regina with a kiss on her cheek "Will your friend stay for dinner, darling?"

"No, mother, I'll take her home when we're done"

Cora's face doesn't really give anything away before she turns to leave.

"I desperately need a hot bath, I'll be upstairs" she informs them as she disappears down the hall "Call Elena if you need anything"

When her steps are no longer in earshot and they're certain they're alone again, neither of them can quite look at the other. Tension still lingering in the space between them, and the shared feeling of breaking an unspoken rule that was always there in the back of their minds.

"So" Regina takes the safe route, going back to their books "Chemistry next"

 Emma somehow feels emboldened enough to argue "Not until you say it"

"Say what?"

"That you were wrong" she smirks.

Regina sighs, closing her eyes in what she assumes is an attempt to keep herself from killing her.

"I..." she drawls "Will do no such thing"

Emma's not even surprised. Annoyed? sure, but she expected that kind of response from her.

"Whatever, it was worth a try" she mutters. Her gaze keeps flicking back to Regina though "But you liked it, right?"

Regina stares, unimpressed "What do you think, Emma?"

Okay, fair. Stupid question.

The reply is enough for her anyway, and tension eases out of her shoulder bit by bit. Then, because the bold streak isn't over:

"We could do it again sometime" she clears her throat, getting the words out before she can overthink it "For research purposes, obviously"

"Obviously" 

Regina's lips twitch. She looks up, eyes raking over Emma and landing briefly on her lips. It's barely anything, but Emma definitely saw it.

"We'll see about that" Regina holds her gaze for a beat longer than necessary, before quickly turning back to what they should be doing "Now, Chemistry"

It's said like a decision rather than a suggestion, like everything, from the kiss to the question didn't happen and they can just go back to a stupid assignment Emma couldn't care less about. But it did happen, Emma's still half-caught in all of it even now. So she has to to force herself to let it go if she wants to survive the rest of the afternoon.

Chemistry. She should know about that.

Chapter Text

There's a clear difference between someone checking out of a conversation halfway through, and someone never even being a part of the conversation in the first place, ignoring what's going on around them for being glued to their phone. Right now Emma's the second kind of person, which would be okay if it weren't so evident.

Emma zones out sometimes, like everyone. When she's tired, in a bad mood, maybe there's a lot going on in her head, or when she's brooding about things she won't even tell her closest friends no matter how much they insist she can talk to them. But this isn't that, and Lily doesn't like the idea of competing with a phone for Emma's attention, so she's starting to take this personally now that lunch is practically over and it still feels like Emma's in a separate dimension from her and Ruby.

She remembers how last time she saw Emma this invested on texting, she was starting to date Neal, which is a whole other topic in itself she'd much rather not think about. That guy was successfully left in the past a long time ago, but there's no denying that Emma's behavior being so reminiscent of her sixteen year old self raises more than a few questions.

"Wanna tell us who that is or should we start guessing?"

No response.

"Swan!"

Lily tries to snatch the phone out of Emma's hands, but Emma's reflexes are way faster than her. She knew she wouldn't succeed with that, but at least she got Emma's attention.

"What the hell got into you?!" she snaps, locking her phone and placing it face down on the table.

"You keep ignoring us every time you get a text, so, who is it?"

"No one" she runs her fingers through her hair "I'm listening"

Lily leans back on her seat "What are we talking about?"

Emma opens her mouth then immediately closes it "Okay, maybe I-"

"She's probably texting her girlfriend" Ruby cuts in.

Emma very much pales at that, but recovers impressively fast, turning to Ruby with the most irritated look on her face.

"I told you Regina's not my girlfriend"

"Not yet, but you like her" Ruby shrugs "And you two have been weird lately, don't think I forgot about that incident in class"

Lily feels like she's missing several important pieces of information, but that's bound to happen when they're separated during classes. That's the only reason she'd like to be there all the time, because sometimes Emma keeps things to herself that Ruby forgets to tell her about. She will ask about it later, there are just other stuff to put her focus on right now.

"Wait" there's the hint of a laugh in her tone "This is about Regina Mills?"

Emma's first reaction is to firmly deny it, but it doesn't matter how hard she tries, just by the way she's acting Lily can tell she's lying.

"Why don't you go talk to her in person? She's right there" she points at the table where Regina's sitting with her friends, not far away from their own.

"It's not like that" she insists "We're talking about school stuff"

"Yeah, right" Ruby lets out a short, humorless snort.

 "Since when do you care so much about school?"

Emma's about to reply when her phone notifies her of a couple more messages, right on cue. Lily sees her reach for it immediately, but as soon as Emma notices eyes observing her every move she leaves it on the table, fully sulking in her seat. When Ruby fails to hide her laugh at the interaction Emma throws a massive glare her way.

"She's not my girlfriend" she repeats through gritted teeth.

"You keep saying that, but never once said you don't like her"

Lily takes a bite of her food and waits, but the response from Emma never comes. She can't force her to admit she likes her tutor and knows close to nothing about what's going on between them anyway. But she knows Emma, and if she really likes Regina she'll have to reach that conclusion herself or trying to knock some sense into her will just make things harder. This is how it's always been, but something tells her it's really just a matter of time for them.

---

Kathryn remembers the first time Regina had a crush, it was a girl in the debate team in freshman year, Allison. Regina always said she couldn't stand her and at first that's what it looked like, some kind of academic rivalry. But she kept talking about her non-stop as time passed, finding ways to go on about how horrible she was and how much she disliked her, all the while not being able to act remotely normal in her vicinity. So at some point Kathryn and Mal just agreed that she actually liked her, she just refused to admit it, even to this day.

Either way, that was pretty much just subtext compared to this thing with Emma Swan. She's not even sure if it's a passing crush or maybe Regina actually likes her, the only thing she knows is that she's been subjected to spending less time with her friend almost since the minute she started tutoring Emma. More often than not, if she asks Regina to hang out she already has plans with her, and she can't say anything because tutoring is a very solid excuse, although it loses power when it happens more than twice a week. 

She's beneath being jealous in a situation like this, it's something she's discussed with Mal whenever she tries to tease her for it, but she's still not particularly happy about having to share her best friend with anyone. So she finally forced herself to use the best friend card today, to guilt trip Regina into spending the afternoon together. And she has the whole thing planned, yet is still being dragged to the running track before leaving.

"Why are we here again?" she asks Regina as they walk past the bleachers.

"I left my notebook at Emma's" 

"So you have to show up to track practice?"

Regina halts her steps, for a second there Kathryn believes she realized how ludicrous this is, but she couldn't be more wrong.

"It has my notes" is all she says, like that's reason enough.

Kathryn has two options: she could try to get her friend to understand the reasoning behind this is simply ridiculous, she has a tutoring session with Emma the next day after all, so the notebook is an excuse -a poor one at that- to see each other. Or she could keep her company and observe everything unfold in front of her eyes while these two massive idiots continue to ignore what anyone with eyes can easily notice... She decides on the second option, at least that way she'll be entertained.

The team's still training when they arrive, but Emma's nowhere near them. It only takes one second for Regina to spot her and once she does her expression changes in the blink of an eye, not dramatically -she rarely ever does dramatic reactions- but there's this immediate tension in her shoulders as she imperceptibly picks up her pace. That's when Kathryn follows her gaze and finds Emma, sitting alone with a piece of gauze pressed to her knee, leg stretched awkwardly in front of her with a nasty scrape running down the side of her shin.

She winces before she can stop herself, masking her expression when Emma notices them as they're halfway up the bleachers. Her face lights up when she sees Regina, despite the fact she's clearly in pain.

"Hey" she says.

Regina barely acknowledges the greeting, stepping closer with her attention focused on Emma's leg.

"What happened?" she asks, taking a seat next to her.

Em a shrugs one shoulder "I fell"

"I can see that"

Kathryn seats nearby and decides to pull her phone out, to pretend she's not just observing them and listening to everything they say. She sees how Regina doesn't hesitate when she reaches for the hand holding the gauze, fingers briefly brushing Emma's wrist before pulling it away just enough to inspect the damage. It's an awfully casual gesture, and at the same time something Regina wouldn't do if they weren't close somehow. Kathryn realizes then, that whatever she thought she knew about this is not even the half of it.

"That looks terrible, Emma" she breathes, brows pulling together.

"It's just some road rash, it's not that bad" Emma argues, gaze fixed entirely on her now.

"Not that bad?" she echoes, her expression sharpening instantly "You should go see the nurse"

Kathryn finds herself unavoidably staring now. The whole exchange is infuriatingly intimate, like they don't pay any mind to how close they are and how this might look from the outside. Something soft flickers briefly in Emma's expression before she covers it up with another lopsided grin, tipping her head closer to Regina.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you're worried" her voice drops into something quieter.

"I am" the admission is automatic, but she seems to realize what she said and tries to backtrack "You'll use this as an excuse to give me an even harder time when I try to make you study"

"I don't need an excuse for that, Miss Mills"

"Hm"

The sound is unimpressed, but Regina stays far too close to Emma for it to land properly. Her hands hover over the scrapes like she can't help checking on them with concern still written all over her face. Emma practically glows under the attention, and Kathryn can't help but wonder if her friend is actually aware this girl has a thing for her but she just turns a blind eye to it for some reason. It's painfully obvious, at least for her.

Then Emma seems to remember something right when Regina's on her third question, and she reaches over for her backpack.

"I didn't forget to bring your notebook" she rummages through her stuff.

"Oh, it's fine" Regina reassures "It's really not that important"

Kathryn couldn't agree more, the notebook can't be more important than any of this. Still, she watches the awkward exchange as Regina finally retrieves the notebook, her excuse for staying effectively vanishing. This is her chance to leave, so she clears her throat to remind them of her presence.

"We should go" she slips her phone into her back pocket.

Regina looks like she forgot they were leaving entirely "Yeah, you're right"

Emma's face does something interesting, the previous brightness from seeing Regina dimming slightly in response.

"You can go" she puts on a purposefully reassuring smile "I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself"

Regina rolls her eyes, but Kathryn catches the fondness in the gesture. It's the same kind of half-hearted eye roll she reserves for her close friends and her sister. It's new to see her using it with someone else.

"Somehow I doubt that" she says under her breath.

Kathryn has to physically stop herself from making a face, because honestly, she should be subjected to this nonsense. When Emma seems ridiculously pleased with herself after a comment anyone else would take as an insult, she can only hope she never reaches the same levels of obliviousness. 

"You fuss a lot, you know that?" Emma states.

Regina stands before she can get too smug about it, and Emma only smiles up at her from her seat. Kathryn stands as well, suppressing a laugh at the way Regina clutches her notebook to her chest, in that defensive way she does when she's been caught off guard.

"Don't make me regret talking to you"

The smile on Emma's face only grows more nauseating.

"Wouldn't dream of it"

She catches Regina hesitating before finally turning away to leave, and she's so happy about it she even tells Emma to get better soon on their way out, which is probably her first ever interaction with the girl. She doesn't comment on what she saw -and heard- not even on the ride home or the rest of the day while she's with Regina. But she'll keep it stored somewhere in her mind, to use it when having to see them becomes too unbearable for her not to intervene.

Maybe she won't even have to do that. Regina's already done for from what she could see.

Chapter Text

Emma isn't one for big plans, not usually. But there's a difference between spending a quiet Friday afternoon home, watching some garbage tv show and eating junk food while her parents are at work. And spending the night of her eighteenth birthday watching the same garbage tv show, while her dad's at work and her mom's looming around the living room like she has no idea what to do to make it better.

It sounds worse than it actually is. Her parents did celebrate her birthday with her, she woke up to a nice breakfast and a couple presents -a red leather jacket and some money she can add to her savings for a car- which was a nice way to start the day, not counting the fact that they let her skip school entirely.

It was right before dinner that things went a little south.

She knew from previous days that her dad had the night shift at the station, so that wasn't a big deal since they planned the whole day around that. The thing was that he was called in earlier for some kind of big fire, and Emma, who already has a hard time on her birthday as it is, was kind of teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown by the time he hurriedly left.

She knows it sounds, maybe, a little bit ungrateful to be so upset about her dad leaving a couple hours earlier, when he already spent most of the day with her. But Emma has a hard time dealing with the very specific set of emotions that feeling abandoned brings up for her. Which might or might not have something to do with the first nine years she spent in the foster system, before Mary Margaret and David found her and decided, pretty much immediately, that she had to come home with them.

Even all these years later, Emma feels all kinds of things on her birthday and not all of them are positive. So she'd much rather be left alone now that she's settled into that particular headspace. That makes the knocking at her door at 8pm feel like absolute torture.

She thinks, for a second, that it might be her friends at the door, which she doesn't know how to feel about at the moment. Only then she remembers, Ruby is visiting her grandma for the weekend and Lily is majorly grounded. So her mom has to go get the door when Emma pointedly ignores it, until she hears voices getting closer, her mom's and one voice in particular that makes her get the strong urge to run upstairs to her room and change into something that's not and old t-shirt and some sweatpants.

She's hurriedly fixing the mess that is her hair when she's faced with the sight of Regina trailing behind her mom with a box in her hands.

"Regina, what-" her voice comes out a little too high pitched, so she clears her throat before asking "What are you doing here?"

She almost wants to facepalm when Regina looks at her like that's the last thing she expected to hear, and her expression goes from quiet excitement to uncertainty in the span of three seconds. There's also the fact her mom is watching her with the most confused face, because nothing she did since Emma's dad left worked to get her out of that couch, and now that Regina's here she's acting completely different.

"It's your birthday so I wanted to..." she looks around, anywhere but at Emma "Should I leave?"

"No!" She takes half a step towards the brunette "Of course not. Regina, I'm sorry, I-"

She looks at her mom, because she can't, in her right mind, do this in front of her. And luckily, she gets the hint pretty quickly to excuse herself to the kitchen. Emma approaches Regina as soon as they're alone, set on pretending the last minute didn't happen.

"Hi" she manages, hands hovering awkwardly at her sides before she shoves them inside her pockets.

"Hi" Regina echoes, much quieter.

Emma's eyes drop to the box, and maybe she's a little too grateful she has that for a change of subject "What's that?"

Regina follows her gaze, adjusting her grip on it "I made you something"

She gives the box to Emma immediately after, like she can't wait for her to open it, but also has a certain hesitance about the whole thing she would never admit out loud. Emma on the other hand, wastes no time opening the box and her face pretty much lights up at what's inside.

"You baked me cookies?" She asks, she had no idea Regina could cook, much less bake.

"I didn't know what you'd like to buy you a gift so I thought this was a pretty safe option"

"You didn't have to get me anything" Emma blurts, immediately wincing like she just put her foot in her mouth again "Not that I don't like it, I just know you're always pretty busy" 

Regina tilts her head, the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips "It's okay, Emma. I wanted to"

Something softens in Emma at that, because this is the first time someone bakes anything for her -other than her mom- and it's also the first time Regina comes see her without the excuse of tutoring. After feeling abandoned for no logical reason at all tonight, and feeling unwanted for an important portion of her life so far, someone wanting to do something for her hits a little too hard, especially on a day like her birthday.

Regina, however, must interpret the silence and glassy eyes as something negative, because her next words are.

"I'm sorry if I overstepped, I drove here so I can-"

"Regina, I'm not asking you to leave" Emma reassures her "Please stay?" 

The quiet warmth that lingers in her voice gives Regina pause. Emma can practically hear the gears in her brain working overtime to come up with something, some kind of reason to distance herself from the moment so as not to make it too important, because that's not what they do. They don't give each other thoughtful gifts and appear at each other's houses unannounced. Not until now.

And somehow it feels like they just crossed a line they didn't even realize was drawn.

"You could stay the night" Emma suggests on a whim "If you don't want to drive back home late, you can stay the night. We can have a sleepover"

She studies Emma for a moment, expression caught between exasperation and something warmer.

"I didn't bring anything with me, how is that gonna work?"

"I'll give you some pyjamas" Emma shrugs, stepping into her space as she speaks "It's my birthday, you can't say no"

And for Regina, it turns out that's true. So one moment she's texting her mom to let her know of the very spontaneous change of plans, while Emma informs her mom at the kitchen. And the next she's being dragged upstairs. 

When she comes out of Emma's bathroom, wearing an oversized t-shirt and shorts, the momentary look Emma gives her before she schools her features makes her painfully aware of the fact they'll be sharing a bed tonight. There's a rush of embarrassing, mortifying thoughts she hopes the blonde can't read on her face.

Those thoughts are still there when she approaches the bed as Emma asks if they should watch a movie on her laptop. They're still there when she sits next to her. When Emma's searching for a movie or something to watch and finds nothing. They're still there when she closes the laptop and they sit against the headboard, Emma's head resting on Regina's shoulder, having no clue what to do next.

"Do you like your birthday?" She asks, desperate to break the silence. Regina just goes with it.

"It's fine, I guess" she says "My mother usually just gets me whatever I want"

"Oh yeah, she got you the car this year, right?"

"Among other things" she confirms, then, in a quieter voice "She had a conference in Chicago she forgot to reschedule, so Elena took me shopping and the car was there when we got back"

She doesn't want to talk about it any further, Emma can tell by the way her voice trails off as if she didn't initially mean to say that, so she follows with the first thing that comes to mind.

"I had a foster home forget my birthday once" 

When Regina doesn't immediately drop one of the ten versions she's heard of 'Are you adopted?' she feels obligated to continue on her own.

"I was turning seven" she adds, fingers fidgeting with the edge of the blanket "They weren't one of the bad homes, the other kids were fine too... But I could tell they didn't really want me there from the beginning"

Regina's hand shifts closer, fingers brushing lightly against Emma's, the accidental touch stilling the movement there "If that's not bad, how were the bad ones?"

It's simple curiosity, Emma knows that.

"I wasn't in most of them long enough to celebrate my birthday with them" she shrugs "Most of them- they weren't exactly nice"

Regina can feel the shift in Emma's mood, and is hit by the strong urge to make it better.

"But you have your parents now, right?"

"Yeah" the blonde agrees, too fast. Then "Except my dad couldn't even stay, and my mom still walks on eggshells around me every time I can't handle how I feel. So that's sweet"

Nothing could've prepared Regina for that, so she takes longer than she'd like to process the confession, and by the time she has something to say, all she can hear is Emma sniffling and somehow that's worse than anything so far.

Talking is what brought them here, so maybe they should take a pause from it and she can find some way to help. But how? They're not exactly affectionate. She also has a feeling pointing out the crying would only make things worse. And that might be why she settles on finally threading her fingers through Emma's and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. 

It's safe but comforting enough in her head. 

When the sniffling eventually stops, she's feeling pretty great about the fact she apparently made a good call there. Now Emma isn't crying anymore and perhaps they can look for a movie again, find something distracting enough that the revelations they both made will be promptly left behind.

Turns out she's wrong. Because Emma still feels too restless under her own skin, so she reaches for Regina's comfort in the only way she knows how, pressing a barely-there kiss where her shoulder meets her neck.

Regina stills.

Emma takes the opportunity to trail higher, this time allowing her lips to find Regina's pulse.

Regina forces herself to pull back, immediately missing the warmth of those lips on her skin. She comes face to face with an Emma whose eyes still have tears threatening to spill, and who stubbornly tries to catch her lips but ends up planting a kiss on her cheek instead when she does her best to avoid it.

"Hey" she cradles the blonde's face with her hand, both in reassurance and to keep her distance to the best of her ability "What are you doing?"

"Hopefully kissing you, if you stop moving"

"Emma-"

"Regina, please?" Emma cuts in, a breathless quality to her voice that wasn't there before. It makes Regina's mind go back to those mortifying thoughts from earlier "It's my birthday and I feel like crap"

"That's exactly my point" she says "You've been in a mood since before I got here, don't you think ignoring your feelings longer will make it worse?"

Emma's eyes linger on her lips for a moment too long.

"What I think..." she gets closer, thumb coming up to trace Regina's bottom lip. Still, she doesn't close the distance "Is that my birthday will be a lot better if you let me kiss you"

Regina's not strong enough for this. Not at all.

"I won't ask you to do anything crazy" Emma almost clarifies "I would never, I just want-"

Then she closes the distance. But it's barely a kiss, by all means, she just touched her lips to Regina's briefly.

"Please?" she asks again.

Now, Regina should say no. She knows she should say no. But Emma's fingers drag softly at the nape of her neck, slipping through her hair. And she's looking at her in a way she can't ignore, something there she doesn't dare to name.

It's so overwhelming she just gives in and kisses her.

When their lips meet, it's tentative in a way it's never been before. She kisses Emma slow and careful, almost as if she's delving in the feeling for the first time again. With a tenderness Emma doesn't match when she leans in harder, chasing the kiss like she's trying to lose herself in it. 

Regina doesn't pull back. If she can make things easier for Emma -even just like this- she'll allow it. Still, her hand does come to rest on Emma's cheek in what she hopes is a grounding touch, slowing the kiss down to keep it from turning into something else entirely.

Somewhere between one kiss and the next, she can feel Emma melt into her. She loses track of things entirely from there, barely registering when her head hits the pillows and Emma ends up half-sprawled on top of her, deepening the kiss further in a way Regina doesn't quite manage -or wants- to stop. 

But it doesn't seem to be enough for Emma.

"I want-" she cuts herself, breathless. Eyes searching for something Regina can't identify.

Regina does her best not to sound affected when she asks "What is it?" 

She can see the blonde battling her thoughts and reaches for her, tentatively. Emma forgoes replying entirely when Regina's fingers brush away some hair that's sticking to her forehead, the touch too distracting for her to form a proper thought. Instead, she buries her face into Regina's neck, fingers clutching at the fabric of her shirt before she fails to stifle a yawn.

"I don't know" she murmurs, then: "You smell like cinnamon"

Regina pointedly ignores the way her body reacts to those lips lightly grazing the skin at the base of her neck. And if her voice is a little bit breathless when she speaks that's not really her fault but Emma's.

"That's because I was baking" 

"I guessed that" Emma sighs "I like it"

She would tell Emma to move, but she finds she rather likes the way her body molds to hers like this. 

The thought gives her pause.

But Emma does become too heavy soon enough, and after some poor attempt at bickering as per usual, she settles down next to Regina, still close enough for her warmth to reach her on the bed.

They don't talk about the conversation they had. About the tears, the kissing, the lingering touches or the position they ended up in. But the sheer urgency in Emma's voice and the thoughts she didn't dare to voice still hover in the space between them. Just as Regina's gift that's sitting somewhere on Emma's desk, and the way she crumbled faster than she'll ever like to admit. It's a silent agreement they seem to make as they get under the covers. 

An hour later Regina's already fast asleep while Emma still stares at the ceiling, her mind going a thousand miles a minute. She wonders if Regina could tell that she wanted... More, of everything. And that it sort of terrified her, because she shouldn't, not with her.

Her breath stutters when her thoughts go there, and suddenly the room feels too warm, the bed feels too small, her clothes too tight uncomfortably scratching at her skin. She shifts under the covers, and Regina's there right in front of her, peacefully asleep having no clue of Emma's predicament whatsoever.

She's the only one still awake, left alone with her own traitorous thoughts, staring at Regina in the darkness of the room. It's really not intentional when her fingers hover, tracing the line of Regina's jaw like she's not entirely sure she's allowed to touch her like this.

You don't think about me like that...

Her thumb drifts to the corner of Regina's lips without permission.

Right?

Regina stirs, and she retreats her fingers hoping she doesn't wake up to the image of Emma staring at her with no reasonable excuse. She doesn't, so Emma closes her eyes, willing her mind to quiet. 

It doesn't take too long for her to fall asleep after that.

Chapter Text

When Miss. Fisher asked Regina if she'd be willing to tutor Emma Swan, she didn't know a thing about the girl except for the fact she was into sports, so she assumed she was going to be a bit of a headache. She never expected to get along with her, and certainly never entertained the possibility of being friends. She only had a very easy plan to follow: stop Emma from failing her classes, boost her college applications and swiftly move on with their lives.

Easy.

Except somewhere along the way their late afternoons together turned into something that was never part of the original plan. And their relationship became something else entirely. Something complicated enough that now that Emma has been consistently improving, Regina finds herself staring at her last grade with something she can't fully identify curling in her stomach.

"You got an A" she says eventually, placing the report back on the coffee table in front of them "I'm starting to think you don't need me anymore"

Emma, sprawled carelessly across the couch, stills almost imperceptibly. It's something Regina wouldn't have noticed before, but she does now, because she's learned to notice everything about Emma with time. The way she shuts down when something genuinely bothers her, or the way she hides most normal human emotions behind a joke before anyone can look too closely.

"So this is it?" Emma says after a beat "You finally dumping me now that I got my shit together?"

Regina rolls her eyes, despite that feeling she won't name still going stronger than ever.

"You say that like tutoring you hasn't been a constant test of my patience"

Emma snorts softly, there's a laugh there that doesn't fully reach her eyes, something about her expression that looks off for half a second before her usual teasing grin settles back into place.

"Well" she says "Good thing you still need tutoring from me then"

Oh, absolutely not.

"Are you saying I'm a bad kisser?" Regina tries her best not to look offended, but by the look on Emma's face she assumes she's failing miserably.

"Not at all" Emma admits "I just told you, I still have a lot to teach you"

Regina gives her a flat look "What else could you possibly teach me?"

It doesn't look like Emma thought this through, which gives Regina the opportunity to turn this against her.

"I think you only want an excuse to kiss me" she says, looking entirely too pleased with herself.

She expects Emma to stammer her way out of a weak joke, get flustered or even laugh at the comment in an attempt at deflecting. But she doesn't take the bait, she simply turns to her and looks her up and down before speaking.

"Okay" she shrugs "You caught me"

Regina's smug expression disappears almost as fast as it came.

"You can't just say that" she blurts out before she can stop herself.

Emma frowns slightly "Why not?" she asks "It's true"

In retrospect, Regina should've stayed quiet. Maybe she could've ignored the comment or given a dismissive reply, turn the conversation back to school, studying and tests. Because she knows the only person able to do this to her is Emma, she should've known better.

Those words are repeating on her mind as she scrambles to regain control of this. Because that's not the point. The point is that they're usually better at dancing around things than... Whatever is happening now.

Emma shifts closer, gaze fixed entirely on her now in a way that makes Regina feel suddenly, ridiculously warm.

"Don't you want to?" she asks quietly.

Regina hates how quickly her answer comes.

"Yes, but-"

"Then why not?"

She doesn't have a reply for that. Or maybe she does, but she ignores it in favor of attempting not to react when Emma shifts even closer until she can feel the warmth of her leg pressed against hers.

This is not something to lose her cool over. It's just their thing now. Their little game of push and pull that goes on forever, until one of them gives in first. She doesn't think too hard about the way her breath stutters every time Emma looks at her like this, a little too intense to be unintentional, like she already knows Regina's going to cave.

And she will. Of course she will.

This game, it does something to her now more than before, because after the sleepover her head has been a mess of thoughts and feelings she'd rather ignore, thoughts and feelings that keep piling up and making her dizzy. That Emma won't give her the appropriate time to process before she's pulling her close again.

She thinks that, perhaps, they did cross a line that night. But they're friends, and she knows that for Emma this is not more than fun.

Still, fun is better than nothing.

"Speechless, smarty pants?" Emma teases, the corner of her mouth curling up slightly as she leans in "Because I-"

Regina kisses her before she can finish.

It's not careful this time. Not tentative in the slightest. One second Emma's smirking, that infuriating smirk she has when she thinks she has the upper hand, and the next Regina's grabbing the front of her shirt and pulling her forward hard enough that Emma makes a startled noise against her lips.

The kiss apparently leaves her completely blank for a second, that's about how long it takes for her to respond to it with equal strength. Until Regina finally pulls back, cheeks flushed in a way she'd absolutely deny even under torture.

"Don't ever call me that again" she mutters.

Emma blinks at her once, visibly dazed.

"Sure" she breathes against her lips before kissing her again.

And somehow that turns into Emma tugging Regina onto her lap, her legs settling on either side of her hips as if it is the most natural thing.

Regina barely has time to register the shift before Emma's sinking further into the couch cushions, pulling her with her, one hand gripping her waist and the other sliding into her hair. The couch swallowing them whole as the kisses get slower, messier; as this stops being about Regina proving a point and becomes about the both of them just struggling to stay as close to each other as possible.

Emma kisses like she's trying to win something at first, but somewhere along the way all that smugness and fierce determination softens into something else. Her fingers interlacing with Regina's where they clutch at her clothes. Emma resting her forehead against Regina's when they eventually part for air, instead of going back to kissing her right away.

Regina's stomach does something funny at that, which makes no logical sense. It's not the first time they kiss, so why does it feel so different?

Emma seems to notice that too, the imperceptible change neither of them wants to mention in fear of making it a thing. She puts a pause on everything just to look at her, really look at her, like she got too distracted midway through kissing to notice. But the expression lasts barely a moment before Regina grabs the collar of her shirt and pulls her back in.

It all changes after that. 

Turning persistent in a way that feels utterly more dangerous, with Emma's hands that stop wandering aimlessly and begin lingering everywhere they land instead, fingertips tracing absent-minded patterns on Regina's skin wherever it's uncovered. When Regina only seems to lose her composure bit by bit as Emma grows gentler, lips parting against Emma's with little shaky exhales she'd probably die of embarrassment over if she cared enough to notice them.

Emma does, and she thinks she might actually be doomed. 

Because Regina's sitting on her lap kissing her like that, all flushed cheeks and soft sighs, and suddenly the air feels much too heavy and charged with things she wouldn't dare to name. She pulls away to press her lips to the corner of Regina's mouth, then the spot just beneath her ear that makes her inhale sharply without meaning to. It makes Emma grin against her skin, and that grin only widens when Regina retaliates by tugging lightly at her hair.

"I think" Emma murmurs between kisses, a slightly breathless quality to her voice "I taught you pretty well"

Regina makes an unimpressed sound, but there isn't any real bite to it.

"Idiot"

The exchange lasts about five seconds before Emma kisses her again.

That's probably the problem, that she can't really stop herself from diving in over and over. And after that it gets progressively harder to think properly. Until Emma pulls Regina flush against her, fingers slipping beneath her sweater and brushing warm skin at her waist, just enough to cause her to gasp against her mouth.

Maybe that's why she decides they need a break to ask the first thing that comes to her mind.

"What are you doing this Saturday?"

The startled look on Regina's face makes her want to regret it almost immediately. And given the context and the position they're in, she should've started with something else.

"There's this party after my race this weekend" She shrugs one shoulder "You should come"

She hesitates just enough for Emma to take note of it.

"Oh, I don't usually go to parties" she says, then seemingly feels bad about rejecting the invitation "I mean- I probably have to ask my mom first"

Emma laughs at that. Not a giggle, not a subtle chuckle, a full on laugh.

"Regina" she breathes, thumb drawing idle circles on Regina's thigh where she's straddling her "I'm pretty sure your mom barely notices where you are half the time"

The shift is so abrupt when Regina stills on top of her, Emma doesn't fully register it at first.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she questions.

Still on top of Emma, still flushed from kissing, still impossibly close. But the warmth that was there a second ago transforms into something colder.

"Nothing" Emma replies quickly "I just meant-"

Regina pulls away before her mind and her body can get on the same page to stop her, sliding off her lap and standing up so suddenly the loss of her closeness feels jarring, wrong. She runs a hand through her hair, visibly trying to collect herself before turning back around.

"My mother cares about me, Emma"

She sits up straighter under her gaze.

"I didn't say she-"

"Yes, you did"

The words come out faster now, a defensive edge to them that pushes Emma to realize a second too late she definitely hit a nerve.

"I know she's not exactly" Regina gestures vaguely, frustration slipping through "a regular mom, but she loves me"

The all consuming wish to dissapear from the room washes over Emma. Because she didn't mean it like that... Yeah, maybe part of her has thought about it, after all the little things Regina's said about her mom forgetting birthdays or disappearing for work half the time, never being home because of some important event she can't miss, never really spending time with her daughter to know anything about her. But hearing Regina jump so quickly to defend her makes Emma feel strangely intrusive, like she just stepped into something she doesn't understand at all.

The other is, that she's never seen Regina this upset over anything, and being the one to cause it doesn't feel great.

"You're right" she says softly, standing up as well. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that"

Regina nods stiffly, quick to turn away entirely before going back to the couch like nothing happened, the only giveaway of her state being how she's decidedly not looking at Emma.

"Anyway" her voice is overly neutral when she speaks "I think we got too distracted there"

Emma just stares before following after her, noting how she subtly moves away to make the space between them bigger than before.

The rest of the study session something feels off. And the problem is, Regina's not being awful to her. She doesn't tell her to leave or stop talking, she isn't rude to her by any means. She's just off, and there's a distance between them that wasn't a thing even at the very beginning.

It's something Emma notices, when every comment she makes gets no more than a distracted hum instead of a proper response. She would even take an insult, but Regina's way too focused on highlighting something in her notes to give her that. So after nearly ten painful minutes, Emma finally decides she can't let this get to her head and just try to fix it.

"Hey"

Regina doesn't budge.

"I'm sorry" she repeats lamely "You can call me an asshole if you want"

"It's fine"

"It's clearly not"

"I said its fine" it comes out more forcefully than Regina probably meant it. Still, Emma bristles at it.

That finally gets Regina to glance in her direction, expression more tired than angry if anything.

"Sorry" she exhales softly, looking back down at the papers before adding in a quieter voice "It's a sensitive topic, Emma. Would you please leave it alone?"

Everything in Emma tells her to insist, but she's sure she'll only make it worse and decides it's better to be safe.

"What were you saying about that report?" she asks.

---

Dinner at home is quiet. Not in a particularly bad way, just the kind of quiet that comes naturally at the end of a heavy day. Her dad's recounting some story from a house fire between bites of food while her mom listens and she pretends to do the same. But she keeps pushing pasta around her plate, which is -unbeknownst to her- suspicious enough to get her parents' attention.

"You okay, kid?" her dad asks eventually, pulling her out of her thoughts.

She looks up way too fast "Yep. Why?"

Her parents share a look over the table. She narrows her eyes as an automatic response.

"Don't do that"

"Do what?" her mom asks, feigning innocence.

"That look" she explains "I don't like it"

Her dad points his fork at her before her mom can respond to that.

"This is exactly what I mean. You're weirdly defensive tonight"

Emma groans, dropping back against her chair and considering if she really wants to do this right now. Although now that her parents started, they won't leave this alone.

"I'm literally just eating dinner"

Her mom hums softly, unconvinced “You usually come home from tutoring in a very good mood"

She says in such a casual tone -too casual- that Emma nearly chokes on her drink, looking at her in mild horror.

"I'm not sure what you mean, mom"

"Emma" she says gently "Did something happen with Regina?"

That does it.

She immediately looks down at her plate as her entire face heats up, because she forgot how to act like a normal person when she hears that name a long time ago.

"No" the answer comes too fast.

Her dad, who knows only the basics about Regina looks up now, clearly intrigued by this.

"Did I miss something?" he asks to no one specifically.

"No, you didn't" she drags a hand down her face with a heavy exhale "There's nothing happening"

"I'm just asking"

He looks to his wife for guidance, because honestly he has no idea what's going on. The man has seen Regina maybe once or twice, he wouldn't know. But Mary Margaret only watches Emma carefully for another second before softening.

"You don't have to tell us anything" she says, then comes the usual "I just hate seeing you upset"

It makes Emma feel guilty in the way a five year old would feel guilty for anything, it's honestly ridiculous but always works on her. She does debate lying about it but it doesn't last, so she sighs, shoulders slumping imperceptibly.

"I said something about Regina's mom" she admits "And it came out wrong"

Her mom looks at her in that way that says 'I don't judge' when she's most definitely judging.

"I apologized but she got so upset she was barely talking to me"

Her dad has forgotten about his food by now "Well… people get protective over family all the time"

She lets out a humorless laugh "Yeah, I got that"

There's a pause, but she knows this isn't exactly over.

"Do you want my opinion?" her mom asks. And honestly, it took her long enough.

She immediately points her fork at her.

"That always ends badly for me"

Her mom decides to ignore that.

"I think maybe this upset you so much because you care about Regina" she says simply.

"Of course I do, she's my friend" it's automatic, no second thoughts about it.

But her mom hits her with: "You know what I mean, honey" 

Emma nearly combusts on the spot. And her dad, completely unhelpful just stares at her with the expression of someone who just found out very key information.

Emma looks between them like they've both completely lost their minds.

"Oh my God, please stop"

Her mom just smiles into her drink. Emma groans loudly under her gaze, but still catches how her dad laughs outright this time. 

There's some more bickering for a while untill Emma can't take it anymore and decides to go to her room to avoid any further mortification. The problem is that once she's alone there, the embarrassment fades fast enough to leave space for, well, everything else. Which is as helpful as her parents were downstairs.

Images come and go in her mind, none of them staying too long to make space for the next. Regina on her lap, clutching onto her like she wanted her close just as badly. Regina kissing her back with an intensity that made Emma feel lightheaded. Regina melting into her touch like second nature. How it all felt almost right before everything shifted.

Emma groans into her pillow, she can't help it.

Because her brain keeps circling back to the way Regina practically froze on top of her, the image of her pulling away and the very jarring sensation of loss that washed over her, after she realized what her stupid comment had caused. Not the kissing, not the fact Regina looked unfairly pretty from her spot beneath her. Not even the distinct realization that Emma keeps trying not to look at too closely.

It's the look on Regina's face.

Hurt.

Defensive and distant in a way Emma's never seen before, not directed at her.

And maybe that's the image that unsettles her enough to finally understand. Because her being the reason Regina had that look on her face becoming the most upsetting part of it all makes something finally click. So she stares at the ceiling for a long moment, because her mom was right. 

She cares about Regina, maybe a little too much.

Chapter Text

Regina spends the entire ride to the party reminding herself she technically didn't come because of Emma. That would imply a couple things she refuses to acknowledge. No, she came here exclusively because Mal wouldn't stop pestering her about it the entire week, and because Kathryn promised she'd be there too, although they know she'll immediately ditch them for Fred the second they get there.

Absolutely none of this has anything to do with the fact Emma kept sulking on her seat during their English class yesterday, after Regina ignored many different attempts at conversation.

Deep down, she knows she's been acting childish. That's the only explanation for the small wave of satisfaction that has gone through her every time Emma's looked vaguely miserable these past few days. She's not that evil though -she wouldn't enjoy seeing Emma completely in distress- but Regina does have fun as the girl keeps trying to force things back to normal while she pretends she doesn't exist.

This alone has proven to be harder than expected.

You see, Regina has developed a very inconvenient habit of noticing Emma's presence. Across a classroom, in crowded hallways, at a table during lunch with her friends. When she looks at Regina for a moment too long whenever she thinks she's distracted. It's truly insufferable. Even worse because Regina has to suppress the strong urge to look back.

So maybe coming to the party is a terrible idea from the start. Not only considering all that, but parties are not her usual environment. Mal, meanwhile, looks entirely at home.

"You promised to stay with me" Regina reminds her when she says she'll go get their drinks.

Mal waves that off entirely "You say that like you haven't been looking for Emma since we crossed that door"

She doesn't have a retort for that. With Mal, she knows better.

So she's left alone in the corner of a packed living room, waiting for her friend to come back. By the three minute mark she's starting to wonder what's taking Mal so long, the house is big but not gigantic and it's not like she went to mix cocktails. She's about to go look for her when she sees Emma approach her. It is much too late to turn the other way when she sees her.

"Regina" there's a grin making its way through her lips at the sight of her "You came"

"Mal forced me to come"

She knows there's no real need to say that, she's just being petty, and the way Emma's smile falters almost makes her feel bad but she's not quite done terrorizing her for having no filter whatsoever.

"Cool" she says "Can we-"

"Emma!"

Someone's coming their way in a hurry. A girl with icy blonde hair Regina would find pretty if she wasn't smiling so much at Emma. Or if she wasn't leaning onto her right after saying hi to Regina out of pure obligation, holding onto Emma's arm and getting closer -way too close- to say something in her ear.

"I have to go" Emma smiles apologetically, then shoots those hopeful eyes at her "See you later?"

Regina doesn't have enough time to reply to that when that girl is already dragging Emma away excitedly. 

Yeah, she doesn't like her. 

"Who pissed you off while I was gone?" Mal's voice comes from her side. She does a terrible job at hiding how the sudden question made her jump out of her skin.

"No one" she takes the drink she's offered, it looks radioactive "Let's go find Kath"

---

As it turns out, the party is not that bad after a while. They did find Kathryn with a group of people from their class, and had a pretty good time for a while until her boyfriend decided to take her away. Regina even had more than one drink, and is now feeling pleasantly heavy. The only problem so far has been someone stealing Emma from her, and the fact she can't find her friends at all now. 

It's ridiculous, really, that she can lose both her friends after making a quick trip to the bathroom. So she ends up going outside through the sliding door at the back of the house in the search for them. Yet, she doesn't pay much attention to what's around her once she spots a certain blonde. Her blonde -not the annoying one- who by the looks of it is finishing a phone call right that second.

Regina sees the exact moment her presence is noticed, though she doesn't pause too long on that, determined on getting to the pool that for some reason nobody's making use of. She takes her shoes off, seating on the edge to dip her toes in the cool water. The feeling is so nice she closes her eyes to feel the night air hit her face.

That's exactly when Emma decides it's a good moment to interrupt her peace.

"Hey" she says quietly, taking a seat beside her. 

The only response she gets is a non-committal hum, and she turns to Regina then, unable to keep herself from staring as her eyes go directly to the faint blush on her cheeks and the deeply relaxed expression on her face. She doesn't think she's ever seen her like this, eyes closed with a barely there light illuminating her face in the dark, hair down in messy waves that perfectly frame her face, with her makeup intact despite how warm it is inside.

She looks calm and -most importantly to Emma's absolute torture- undeniably pretty. Maybe even prettier than she looked the last time they kissed. Or maybe this is an entirely different kind of pretty.

"You already drunk?" she asks, still shamelessly staring.

Regina does use her words this time "Why? Are you calling my mom to come pick me up?"

It's the tone that stings, especially because Emma knows there's many layers of bitterness under the sarcasm.

She could leave, go back to the party where her friends are waiting for her with a new drink in hand. She could go back to the loud music that won't let her think and the warmth she left behind when she decided to take her mom's call outside. She could do all those things and also leave Regina alone. But no matter how much the brunette ignores her, it only seems to make her want to try harder to get her attention back.

So maybe her next move is a little embarrassing.

"Do I need to apologize again?" she asks "Just tell me what you want and I'll do anything"

To her surprise, Regina actually looks at her. She's not deliberately ignoring her -or trying to- for the first time in days, and the look on her face as her eyes drag over Emma makes the night air feel impossibly warmer.

"Anything?" she echoes slowly.

Emma opens her mouth but the words die on her throat. Regina's eyes linger long enough for her to become painfully aware of every inch of space between them, making her regret her offer almost immediately. Because when Emma truly stops to look it's clear to her that Regina knows exactly what she's doing.

She just nods in the end. And she has to attribute this sudden change to the alcohol rushing through Regina's system if she wants any chance at surviving this.

"It's okay, Emma" Regina breaks the silence, eyes on the water again "You were right anyway"

"Regina-"

"You were" she repeats, in a tone that leaves no room for argument "My mother doesn't care about anyone but herself, that's just a fact"

Emma's not sure what to say to that. Admittedly, the last time she made a comment on that specific topic had consequences for her, consequences that brought them here. So she decides to keep her mouth shut, tentatively reaching for Regina's hand instead, lacing their fingers together when she meets no resistance.

After that it's like the last few days of slow, painful torture finally vanish and she can breathe again. In fact, she doesn't realize she's leaning into Regina until her head settles on her shoulder like it belongs there.

Regina stills beside her for a beat.

But then her free hand comes up in a way that feels almost cautious, cradling the side of Emma's head to keep her there. The touch is a surprise considering Emma has been under the impression Regina wants nothing to do with her the entire week. And it's brief, fingers dragging through her hair before sliding slowly down the curve of her neck and shoulder.

Emma feels the touch everywhere, and she melts a little into it before she can stop herself.

They stay like that for a while, silent except for the music coming from inside the house and the faint sound of water moving beneath them. The position soon becomes uncomfortable though, forcing Regina to shift beside her.

"Your head's too heavy" she mutters, but there's no real annoyance behind it.

Emma sits up immediately "Sorry"

"Stop apologizing"

Regina's already moving before she can register the change, tugging gently at Emma's arm, a movement that she follows automatically. One second she's about to apologize again and the next she's carefully stretched across the concrete edge, head resting comfortably on Regina's lap instead. 

They both go quiet after that. Only after a while she feels Regina's fingers absentmindedly combing through her hair.

She decides to let her hand dip into the water, drawing random shapes with her fingers and following the movement there. Tries to focus on anything that's not Regina's fingertips brushing back and forth at the side of her neck, leaving goosebumps on their wake and making Emma's breath stutter just slightly. Her eyes, however, fall shut on their own accord by the time the touch moves down to trace circles at her waist.

The entire thing feels dangerous. Not in the same way kissing Regina feels, not on the same way letting those same kisses start to take a different path feels. It's not heated, or reckless, or something that they could regret when the next day comes. It's tender, soft enough to make Emma want things she shouldn't, as per usual. And maybe it's the alcohol that's making everything all the more intense, but she thinks she could let Regina do this forever.

Her thoughts drift, going back to every casual touch, every time they've been close just like this. And she realizes that, somewhere along the way Regina's touch became something she waits for, something she could say she even craves. Because right here, with Regina's fingers going back to stroke her hair again, is when she finally comes to terms with the fact she wants many different things but only one at the same time.

She wants more of her, and for some reason that feels like wanting way too much. Like she's not allowed to want more gentle touches, more warmth or more of whatever Regina is willing to give her. This makes her breath come more uneven than Regina's touch settling in any part of her exposed skin. 

Maybe it's the alcohol rushing too fast through her veins that makes her turn her head further into Regina's lap, her body too conflicted between wanting to bury herself into her and trying to pull away from this in any way she can, that she realizes a second too late that the movement brushed her lips against bare skin.

Emma bolts upright when it registers, not daring to look in Regina's direction as she fixes her hair into place. A soft, almost defeated laugh isn't what she expects to hear right after.

"You keep doing that" she sighs.

Emma finally looks at her "Doing what?" 

Regina's eyes are fixed somewhere past the pool when she speaks "Pulling away when things get too..." she pauses briefly, looking for the right word "Intense"

She doesn't say anything to that, because it's true.

"You keep coming back though" Regina points out softly "I don't understand why"

She swallows hard "I'm sorry, Regina"

The response comes just as exasperated as she expected it "I told you to stop apologizing" 

Emma feels, once again, that she messed up. And although this time she has an idea why, her mind is too clouded to deal with it. So she doesn't. She continues to stare at Regina and hesitates before reaching up, fingers brushing delicately at her temple before tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. 

Regina doesn't move, so Emma's touch lingers there, and she doesn't realize she's leaning closer in until Regina's words put a stop to it.

"What do you want from me, Emma?" she asks, eyes dropping briefly to her mouth.

For one unfairly long moment Regina thinks Emma might answer, but the back door slides open behind them and they spring apart. That girl, the blonde she decided she doesn't like when she was still sober, pauses halfway outside, eyes jumping between them with poorly concealed disappointment.

"Am I interrupting something?" she wonders aloud.

"No" Regina beats Emma to it. Emma looks at her, confused.

The girl has definitely decided to ignore what she just saw completely.

"The team's looking for you" she turns to Emma, like Regina isn't there "We're taking pictures before everyone starts disappearing. We sort of need you there"

Emma groans "Seriously?"

Regina goes back to looking anywhere but at Emma, folding her arms around herself now that she feels the cold night air more than before.

"You should go" is all she says to her.

They watch the girl throw them a last suspicious look before she goes back inside. Emma studies Regina closely once she's gone, tilting her head slightly to the side as she does.

"You don't like Elsa"

Regina scoffs "I don't even know her"

"You were practically glaring at her" Emma does her best not to laugh.

Regina rolls her eyes, but the flush creeping up her neck betrays her attempt at deflecting.

"Elsa's waiting for you" she mutters "Don't let me stop you"

She makes a point to avoid Emma's gaze again. And when she doesn't move to leave right away it starts getting harder to keep the facade.

"I wish I could read your mind sometimes" Emma says when she finally stands from her spot "Things would be a lot easier if I could"

And Regina's stomach twists at her words. Because if Emma could read her mind she would finish pulling away entirely. Or at least that's what she thinks would happen, after Emma gives her one last lingering look before disappearing inside.

---

Emma finds Regina again almost two hours later in one of the half bathrooms downstairs and she looks... Rough, if the way she's leaning against the sink, water running after she most definitely threw up in the toilet is anything to go by.

Emma stops on her tracks at the sight, and Regina looks up the second she hears her walk in.

"There you are" she says, words slurred together and breathless "I missed you"

Emma's brows shoot up to her hairline and she immediately narrows her eyes while she locks the door.

"How much did you drink?"

Regina gasps, appalled "I'm not drunk"

"Yeah, right" Emma says dryly "Where are your friends?"

Regina lets out something like a laugh as she gets closer, hands gripping Emma's shoulders as she bites her lip and shrugs one shoulder.

Emma feels like she spawned in another dimension and no one told her.

"I don't know" Regina says, then not helpfully at all she comments "I think Kathryn's having sex with Fred somewhere upstairs. And Mal" 

She frows in concentration. Emma would find it cute if she wasn't standing so close.

"I think I lost her"

If Regina doesn't hate her in the morning, she will never let her hear the end of this. 

Of course she's also drunk, but she knows where her friends are and she's still pretty much herself. Most importantly, she's not throwing up in a random bathroom with her mascara completely smudged, or slurring her words like she's one second away from falling asleep on the floor.

Right as she holds that thought Regina suddenly goes pale, and Emma has barely enough time to step forward before she practically drops herself on the toilet.

"Shit- okay, okay"

She crouches beside Regina, pulling her hair back and reluctantly rubbing a hand on her back in an attempt at comfort while she groans miserably.

"What the hell did you have?" she questions, worry evident in her tone. And Regina only mumbles something mostly incoherent against her forearm "Right. Sure"

By the time Regina's done, she looks absolutely horrified with herself. Mortified, even.

"I'm never drinking again" she blurts weakly.

"I've heard that one before"

Emma helps her up after that, guiding her carefully towards the sink where Regina leans heavily against the counter. She wets a hand towel and starts wiping Regina's smudged makeup with surprising gentleness under Regina's silent gaze, giving her time to recover from emptying her stomach for the second time. Emma's movements become slower as she's observed. She's more intentional, not faltering a single time as she focuses on her task.

They can still hear the music and voices coming from outside when Regina decides to run her mouth completely. That's probably why it doesn't click at first.

"Maybe we could go upstairs too" she says "It would be fun"

Emma freezes mid-motion and Regina laughs weakly at her expression, the sound too hollow to be sincere.

"Isn't that what you want from me?" she insists "Fun?"

If the implication wasn't clear before, it is now. And Emma's stomach twists painfully when it lands. Suddenly the bathroom feels quite claustrophobic, especially with Regina gripping her hips to pull her closer.

"Stop that" Emma warns, completely thrown by the display "What are you on?"

Regina smiles at her, it's the kind of bittersweet smile that doesn't reach her eyes, with a tired edge to it that makes something twist in Emma's chest. She's not sure what to say anymore, so she just watches as Regina turns away, rinses her mouth with cold water and reaches for the extra towel by the sink.

"I feel better now, you can leave" she says, still with her back to Emma.

"No, I don't want-"

"I don't care about what you want" she locks eyes with Emma through the mirror "Leave"

Emma forces herself to take a deep breath, reminding herself this is most likely just the alcohol talking.

"No" she repeats firmer this time, stepping closer despite the clear warning in Regina's eyes "You can barely stand, I'm not leaving you"

Regina groans, visibly at her wits end and turns back around "Why do you even care?"

"Because I-" Emma cuts herself off, not even sure how that sentence was going to end "Because we're friends"

Regina scoffs "We're not friends"

Emma's expression hardens instantly, but before she can try to respond to that, Regina's already stepping closer. So much so that Emma's back crashes with the wall before she can do anything about it. She looks at Regina and her eyes decide to betray her by landing on her lips. Regina smiles bitterly then, gesturing vaguely between them.

"You don't look at your friends like that" she says, voice cracking slightly at the end "Do you?"

She doesn't have an answer for that. Or actually, she does, and the answer is a resolute no. She doesn't look at anyone like this, doesn't feel like this with anyone else. It's just her, it's just Regina. But she can't fully bring herself to say that yet.

When her hand comes up to hover at Regina's cheek she catches herself just in time to retreat before she does anything that could make this even worse.

"What do you need?" Emma asks, frustration unavoidably bleeding into her voice despite how hard she tries to keep it at bay "I've spent the entire night looking for you, trying to spend time with you, to make sure you're okay"

"I would be better if you left me alone"

Emma runs a hand through her hair hard enough to tug at the roots.

"You're not being fair" her voice is barely a whisper.

"You really don't get it, do you?" Regina asks, trying to step back, away from her.

But she steps forward instinctively and Regina reacts just as quickly, grabbing fistfuls of her shirt before Emma can fully close the distance. It's not violent, she's not shoving her against the wall and screaming in her face, but the movement still makes them stumble, pushing Emma against the bathroom door.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Regina presses, eyes glassy and furious all at once.

She can't really move. Not because she's being kept in place, no, Regina's barely using any strength besides her fingers that still clutch at Emma's clothes. It's the question that keeps her there, and when she finds it in her to reply her voice is painfully soft.

"I don't know..." she says "I'm sorry"

That only seems to make Regina angrier.

"I don't want your apologies, I just want-" she clenches her jaw before she can finish, then sighs "I want to leave"

For a second the only sound in the room is both of them breathing too hard. Then Emma asks quietly:

"Do I call your mom?"

Regina looks down at where her knuckles have gone white, then drops her head onto Emma's shoulder, seemingly exhausted from the night. Emma feels the tears on her skin before she hears her sniffle.

"I don't want my mother" 

"Then stay with me" it's automatic, not a thought behind it like most things that leave her mouth these days "I can sleep on the couch or... I just want to know you're okay"

Her hand falls awkwardly on Regina's back to hold her there, and she feels better about it when she doesn't immediately flinch or tries to get away from the touch. Regina melts into her and she finds this is easier than whatever happened before, because she's not the best with words, but this she can do. Eventually, when her neck gets tired of the position, Regina's head comes up from her shoulder and it's way too easy to cradle her cheek now, thumb catching a stray tear from her skin.

"Please don't cry" Emma practically begs.

It might be the alcohol in her own system that pushes her to get even closer, brushing her lips to Regina's cheek before pulling away to look at her. And for a brief moment she thinks about kissing her again, maybe pulling her hand up to press a kiss there.

Instead she insists on her offer.

"Will you come with me?" 

And Regina looks away, seemingly considering it before she barely nods in agreement. It's a faint thing, but it's enough for Emma.

"I'll call my dad to pick us up"

Chapter Text

For the first few moments after waking up Emma keeps her eyes closed. She barely puts her attention on the morning light that finally became too bright, or the dog that's barking next door. Her sleepy brain would much rather focus on the warmth pressed against nearly every inch of her body, and the slow steady rhythm of someone breathing against her collarbone. The feeling is so right but so foreign, for one disorienting beat she's sure she's still dreaming, until Regina -who's practically sprawled on top of her- buries herself closer against her, arm draped over Emma's stomach beneath the blankets.

By the time she blinks awake for sure, she knows she should probably do something about their position now that she's aware of it. Because after their exchange in the bathroom the previous night, she's not sure if Regina would appreciate the closeness, even if unintentional. But something keeps her still, staring at the ceiling as a very different kind of warmth settles in her chest, and her fingers trace a path up and down Regina's arm before she can think better of it.

Her movements pause suddenly when Regina stirs and after a few silent moments she hears her make a quiet sound of protest into her chest.

"Why did you stop?" comes the sleepy mumble she can barely make up.

Emma's not sure she heard that right "You're awake?"

"Mhm" Regina barely hums in response "Keep doing that"

It's safe to say this is the last thing Emma expected to hear, so she waits for her to change her mind at first. When that doesn't come, she simply does as asked and her fingertips go back to Regina's skin, only slower this time. They move up to the slope of her shoulder in due time, and she feels rather than sees Regina melt under her touch. So much so that she becomes heavier on top of Emma after a few strokes. 

It's... Incredibly easy, and that's a problem.

Because Emma has shared a bed with other people before. Ruby and Lily during sleepovers, whenever they needed to squeeze into one bed at the end of the night. Or team members during trips and her parents years ago when they used to go camping. But none of those instances ever felt like this. Like she could keep doing this the entire day if it meant she could stay in this moment a little longer.

So she allows herself to soak in it for a while, eventually losing track of time, until Regina decides to actually wake up and a groan escapes her before she even finishes opening her eyes.

"God, my head hurts"

Emma stops her ministrations to stifle a laugh.

"Yeah, that usually happens when you're hungover" she murmurs.

And Regina groans louder now, dragging her hand up Emma's stomach, unintentionally lifting her pajama top just so, before her hand lands over her own face to cover the stubborn sun light.

"I think I'll die" she mumbles miserably.

"No, you won't" Emma snorts "I'll go get you an aspirin"

The moment she tries to untangle herself from Regina to go look in the medicine cabinet, Regina's arms tighten around her middle with what Emma thinks is the last bit of strength she has in her body.

"Don't you dare leave me" she mutters.

Emma freezes, mostly because she has no other option since Regina's still keeping her in place.

"You're warm" she offers weakly, voice muffled against Emma's chest.

Her eyes go back to the ceiling as she considers her next move. But when Regina settles more comfortably against her the choice is pretty clear. So against every logical thought in her brain she allows herself to sink further into the bed and sighs softly.

"Five more minutes"

She hears Regina let out a pleased hum as she busies her fingers combing them through her hair, and she allows her thoughts to wander for a bit, focused on nothing in particular. Then, after what she's sure are not at all just five minutes, Regina is the one to abandon their embrace to look down at her with the best attempt at a glare she can muster.

"This is your fault" she states.

Emma can only blink up at her "What?"

Regina narrows her eyes, clearly not on the same uncharacteristically affectionate mood from just moments ago. Emma assumes she's trying to look deadly serious, but her messy hair and sleepy eyes don't totally sell it.

"I went to that party because you invited me" she reminds her, as if she's convinced Emma's just being slow. 

Emma's lips twitch, not only at the comment itself -which is a confirmation of what she thought anyway- but at their current situation. Because one second Regina was barely giving her space to breathe and now she's looking at her like she personally forced her to down twenty shots of vodka at the party.

"Oh?" she prompts innocently "I thought Mal forced you to go?" 

Regina stills entirely too fast. Then it seems like she might say something but the words die in her tongue and she frowns even harder. Emma's smile grows with every second of Regina's silence, so she decides to tease further.

"You really went because of me?" she asks, knowing she has the most infuriatingly smug look on her face "I didn't know you like me so much"

The look Regina throws her way would be scary under any other circumstances, but right now Emma finds it unfairly cute. And yes, she's enjoying this a little too much, because she woke up expecting a bigger fight to break, she expected Regina to want nothing to do with her. So maybe she's pushing her luck, but she'll happily take the risk.

"I liked you better ten minutes ago" is what Regina finally says.

But the words lose all their impact when she attempts to get up properly, and that goes espectacularly wrong when she gets up too fast, her legs giving way before she can even fully stand upright, collapsing right back into the bed.

Emma's smile promptly dissapears.

"Woah-"

She's beside her in no time, wrapping one arm around her middle while the other lands on her arm.

"Easy, princess" she says "Is this really your first hangover?"

Regina squeezes her eyes shut for a while and leans into her without a word. Emma can feel her stomach rise and fall with every deep breath she takes as the dizziness subsides, although neither of them acknowledges Emma's hold on her waist. Then, after a minute Regina finally comes back to herself.

"Emma?"

"I'm here"

Regina exhales another deep breath before turning her head just slightly to her.

"If you call me that again" she mutters, voice rough from sleep "I will throw up on your bed and never let you kiss me again. Are we clear?"

Emma swallows hard. First of all, she didn't think the nickname would warrant an actual threat, but she should've known Regina of all people wouldn't like it. And second, her mind catches on the specific part of the threat where kisses were mentioned, because she already had assumed that wouldn't happen again, not after she made Regina cry. Not after being so stupid.

But Regina's blissfully unaware of what's going on in her head. She just falls deeper into Emma with another pained sound, and for the first time, Emma thinks she might actually be a complete asshole.

Because Regina's still trying to bury herself under her skin, and everything around them feels softer bathed in the sunlight coming from outside. Because even with a nasty hangover, after their failed attempts at talking, after crying and saying everything she said in that cramped bathroom, Regina still ended up here. With her.

"So" Emma clears her throat faintly, like that will get rid of her thoughts "Will you let me go get you some water?"

Regina's expression changes into mild annoyance before untangling herself from Emma's hold, unceremoniously dropping onto the pillow before going back beneath the blankets.

Emma leaves the room after that, making her way downstairs to the kitchen. She finds a sticky note on the fridge from her mom, the one she usually leaves before she goes to work. The same note that started a bit of an argument, when Emma was in a mood one day and told her she could just text her, which caused her mother to almost cry and Emma to vow to never mention that again for the sake of her own peace.

She goes back upstairs only to find Regina sitting up against the headboard now, phone held loosely in her hand as she stares silently at the screen. Emma's presence goes unnoticed at first.

"I didn't take too long, did I?" she says, slowly making her way past the doorway.

Regina's eyes lift to her very much immediately at the sound of her voice, but she doesn't say anything and just shakes her head with a reluctant smile as Emma approaches the bed. The question was barely something to fill the silence, because Emma knows she took approximately three minutes down stairs. That's exactly why finding Regina so quiet, such a clear contrast in practically no time, makes her almost scared to ask.

"You okay?" 

Regina puts the glass down after taking no more than a sip. Emma can practically see the gears in her brain working overtime, probably considering if she should avoid the question all together or just lie.

In the end, she replies with her own question.

"Do you really think my mother doesn't care about me?"

It catches Emma so off guard, she just sits there trying to figure out if this is going to open the door for another argument like the last one.

"Look, I-"

"No" Regina shakes her head once again "I want the truth"

She wants to refuse, to deflect and talk about anything but Cora Mills. But Regina has such a dejected look in her eyes she can't find it in herself to say no to her. That's what ultimately leads her to give her what she asked for.

"I don't know your mom that well" she starts carefully "But I know you, and you're very easy to care for, so... I don't think she cares enough"

Regina drops her eyes back down to her phone. The look isn't gone and Emma fears she said the wrong thing again.

"Where did this come from?" she asks, and Regina replies with a hollow laugh.

"I was checking on my phone after you left" she confesses quietly, almost like she's embarrassed by it "I thought maybe she would've called, or texted asking where I was"

Emma reaches for her hand, because words are simply not coming. It's like she forgot how to form a sentence, so she settles on squeezing Regina's hand in support. Regina looks up at that, eyes narrowing just slightly.

"Don't look at me like that" she orders.

"Like what?"

"Like a wounded animal" she breathes, then pretends her eyes aren't glassy and puts on her best no nonsense voice "I'm fine"

This, Emma doesn't believe for a second, but there isn't really much room to argue. She's also starting to feel hungry, and she's sure there's a spare toothbrush somewhere in her bathroom.

"I think we should shower before eating" she scrunches up her nose in mock disgust "You can go first"

Regina doesn't even dignify that with a direct response. Still, Emma's happy that the teasing doesn't seem to bother her.

"What are you making for us?" she shoots back "Cereal?"

"Pancakes" Emma corrects, deeply offended.

When Regina just laughs at the comment, a real laugh albeit soft, she counts that as a win. A much bigger win, she thinks, is that she can stand up without almost fainting before making her way to the bathroom.

---

When Emma's turn comes, Regina's left alone with her thoughts long enough to spiral. Now, she definitely feels like a person again and the headache is not as horrible as it was when she first woke up. But her mind keeps throwing bits and pieces of the previous night her way, and even though she was capable of ignoring them in the shower, she has no such luck now that she's alone in bed with nothing to do but think. And once she allows her mind to torture her with the first flash of the party, it becomes determined to give her everything back.

Emma laying on her lap at the edge of the pool, leaving before she could give her a reply to her question, and finding her in the bathroom a couple hours later. Emma looking at her like she lost her mind when she mentioned sex, refusing to leave after she asked her to. Her crying on Emma's shoulder before Emma kissed her so gently and asked her to come with her. Emma apologizing a thousand times throughout the night, even after she told her not to.

Every memory comes to her, and they all go back to Emma.

Regina vows right that minute to never drink again, because she refuses to humiliate herself like that once more. She came to terms with the fact this thing between them doesn't mean anything, and she was doing a great job at burying any confusing feelings Emma may have brought up, until the first drop of alcohol entered her system and she completely forgot she had dignity.

So she's never drinking again if this will be the aftermath. Because not only does she still have a pounding headache, but she threw up twice in front of someone and is also plagued by questions, and feelings she promised herself to never entertain. She didn't care about what Emma wanted from her before, because she had a pretty good idea what that was from the start. It didn't cross her mind to feel used, because Emma can't use her in the traditional sense of the word if she's allowing it. Emma Swan doesn't have any kind of power over her when she can put a stop to this anytime if she wishes. She simply does not.

This doesn't go further than her being completely intoxicated... Or at least that's what she tells herself when the bathroom door opens.

"Hey, I know I offered pancakes, but I can also make waffles if you want"

Regina doesn't give her a response, she's still too caught up on berating herself and trying to make sense of why on earth would her drunk self accept to stay the night with Emma, if she was so upset because of her.

Of course, Emma luckily still can't read her mind. She just sees her frowning.

"You're upset"

Once again, Regina doesn't respond. But this time the thing keeping her quiet is the image in front of her, when her eyes land on Emma. Emma wearing nothing but a sports bra and sweatpants. So she stares, pretty intensely at that. And Emma flushes after noticing, making a beeline for her closet.

"I forgot my shirt" she offers, rummaging through her clothes "If this is about last night, can we talk after breakfast?"

This is the moment Regina decides to lie through her teeth, at least try to keep some of her dignity.

"What about last night?" 

She can tell, almost immediately, that Emma knows she's lying. Not only that, but Emma knows Regina knows she knows she's lying. Still, she will go through with this. Even if Emma's looking at her like a lie detector just went off in her head when she takes a seat at the edge of the bed.

"You don't remember anything?" Emma asks.

"I remember some" she lies "I must've been very drunk"

She shrugs it off, like that's a good enough excuse -which sounded more convincing in her mind- and Emma's visibly holding back a smile when her fingers come up to play with the ends of her hair.

Regina wonders suddenly where this apparent need Emma has to touch her all the time came from. It's not like this will get rid of her hangover, all it does is keep her painfully aware of just how close she is to a still very shirtless Emma, who keeps holding her shirt instead of putting it on like a normal person would've done by now.

Her mind goes back to the party, when Emma's lips brushed against the skin of her thigh on accident. It goes back to the last time they kissed, to every touch that was too soft, too tender, and stole the air from her lungs. And when Emma's fingers brush the skin at the base of her neck, Regina's eyes fall back on her torso for a terrifying second, before she blushes a deep shade of red.

"What are you thinking about?" Emma prompts coyly.

She blinks "Nothing" 

"It's definitely something" Emma continues, twirling Regina's hair on her finger "You get this look"

She grabs a hold of Emma's wrist before her touch can move any higher, successfully aggravated.

"I do not"

Emma just smiles, clearly having way too much fun bothering her. And she moves to put her shirt on -finally- as her phone vibrates on the bed. She seems to think about something for merely a beat before she looks back up at Regina.

"How do you feel about going to the lake?" she asks.

Regina doesn't answer immediately. Mainly because the change in topic is very abrupt and, in all honesty, she didn't think they would be going out today. Emma takes that as her cue to explain.

"My friends are spending the day there and I was thinking you could come with me" she says, but it sounds more like a question.

"You want me to go with you?" 

Emma shrugs a little awkwardly "Or we could stay here if you want" 

"Stay here and do what?" 

The question comes out before she can put a stop to it. Emma shrugs, yet again. But then her eyes linger on Regina a little too long, the air becoming more than a little too charged for her liking. And Regina feels her lean in imperceptibly, voice lower when she speaks.

"I'm sure we can find something to do"

Regina doesn't know if the fact Emma's expression is serious rather than her usual teasing smirk is better or worse for her. All she knows is the words push her to take a shaky breath she hopes goes unnoticed. Something tells her this is not just their regular banter, and they're dancing around the edge of something entirely different here. 

When that started happening, she has no clue. And when it started having this effect on her is an even bigger question.

"I'll go with you" she rushes out eventually.

Emma, now out of her trance, completely lights up.

"It'll be fun" she grins, already standing up to make her way towards the door "I'll go make breakfast, we'll look through my bathing suits after"

And that's Regina's second sign that this will definitely be a long day. The first sign being the warmth that has been stubbornly spreading all over her skin since the moment Emma got out of that bathroom.

Chapter Text

Regina has spent the better part of the afternoon looking for an excuse to go home. Unfortunately, she's found none.

The headache that was making her miserable when she woke up is mostly gone now, reduced to a faint pressure behind her eyes she can ignore. The weather is quite nice, the house they're spending time at is actually beautiful, and despite what she initially expected, Emma's friends seem to like her and they've been surprisingly nice to her.

Well, most of them.

Ruby almost made her want to turn back around, when she spotted the grin spreading across her face the moment she opened the door for them.

"Emma's here!" she had announced "And she brought her girlfriend!"

She still can't decide which part was worse: Ruby yelling that loud enough for everyone to hear, or the fact neither of them managed a response in time. Emma went bright red and almost tripped over her own feet, and Regina simply observed the taller brunette walk away as they trailed behind her. But still, if that's the worst thing she's had to deal with since they got here, Regina supposes she can't complain.

She's finishing her drink -nothing with alcohol, thank you very much- when someone pops up beside her to prove that theory wrong.

"Those clothes look familiar" Elsa comments from her left.

She looks down at herself before replying "They're Emma's"

"Oh right" something flickers in the girl's expression before smoothing out "I remember I saw you leaving together last night"

Everything in her wants to ask why she's speaking to her, of all people. They're not friends, Regina's not on the team, in fact, she didn't know Elsa existed until twelve hours ago. But she can't possibly be so rude to the poor girl, she hasn't said anything stupid, yet.

"I wasn't feeling great"

Regina decides to leave it at that, she doesn't need to know the details. An uncomfortable silence settles, and she hopes Elsa will leave her alone but shes a curious girl apparently.

"Are you really dating Emma?" she asks.

This would be a perfect moment for the floor to open and swallow Regina. It would be way better than whatever is going on now.

"We're not dating, we're... Friends" for some reason it doesn't sound convincing to her, but it seems to be enough for Elsa.

"Great, that's great" she exhales a nervous laugh and looks back at her "I kinda like her"

Regina's fingers tighten imperceptibly around the cup holding her drink.

"Oh"

"I was trying to talk to her last night, but she kept disappearing on me" Elsa chuckles lightly. 

"I'm sorry, I don't see why I should know this" she forces a small, polite smile.

"Well, you two seem close, so I didn't want to-"

"I'm not her girlfriend"

She winces internally at how defensive that comes out, and the girl visibly bristles at the tone. But, to be fair, Regina didn't ask to hear any of that.

"Right" Elsa smiles apologetically "I should go get more ice"

When she finally leaves, Regina goes back to her drink, trying her best not to look irritated whenever the words I like her repeat in her head. She also thinks it's funny Elsa said Emma kept disappearing all night, when she was the one taking Emma way from her at the worse possible moments. 

"I get the feeling you don't like Elsa"

Why does this keep happening?

"It's fine to be jealous"

"I'm not jealous!"

Ruby puts her hands up in front of her in mock surrender, but Regina knows the outburst doesn't help her case. Even so, Ruby's eyes seem to scan the place for someone and eventually land on no other than Belle.

This is her chance to change the topic.

"How's that going?" she asks.

Ruby's attention goes back to her "We're getting there" she shrugs "I know you think it won't work"

"God, Emma told you that?" Ruby nods and she feels all kinds of mortified "It was stupid, I just..."

"You were projecting?"

She goes quiet, feeling oddly exposed and like trying to justify herself is probably pointless, Ruby doesn't seem mad about it in the first place. She still feels a little bad about the comment -or more exactly, about the fact Ruby heard it from Emma- but that's what she believed at the time. 

Maybe she was wrong.

"Oh" Ruby interrupts her thoughts.

When Regina turns to her, she can't help but follow her gaze, and when it lands on Elsa standing right next to Emma as she speaks she has to do her best not to spontaneously combust. Her attempts fail though, Elsa's standing way too close.

 "Where's the bathroom again?" she asks Ruby. But she barely listens to the full set of instructions when she's already moving.

Needless to say, once shes inside she doesn't remember where the bathroom is at all, but she successfully gets to the kitchen, grateful there's no one inside the house. Of course, she's once again reminded she isn't allowed to have a single moment of peace when Emma enters the room.

"Hey, I saw you run inside" she explains "Everything okay?"

"Yes, perfect"

Emma's eyebrows knit together at her tone, and she rounds the kitchen counter to get closer to her. She tilts her head to the side once she's in her space, studying her like she's waiting for her to break and admit to a crime. But if there's something Regina is to her core is relentlessly stubborn.

"It's nothing, Emma" she rubs at her temple "My head still hurts"

Emma gets even closer "Do you want to leave? I'll tell them you're feeling sick and we can go"

"You'd come with me?"

"Well, yeah" she says, like it's obvious "We came here together and we leave together"

She's the one to stop and observe Emma now, because she can't comprehend where this is coming from. Emma has done nothing but care for her since the night before, even though Regina never asked her to and she can handle herself quite well. Yet, Emma held her hair as she emptied her stomach, she stayed with her ever since and has been doing the same since they woke up. Even here, with all her friends around, she has made sure to check on Regina at the first sign of discomfort.

The realization fills her with a strange mix of remorse and fondness she finds vaguely ridiculous. And she kind of hates how much she's become accustomed to Emma fussing over her in such an incredibly short time.

"You don't have to do that" she assures her "I just need a minute"

Emma sighs in response "Wait here"

Regina sees her walk away, followed by the sound of her footsteps disappearing down the hallway and then coming back not even three minutes later. Once she's in the kitchen again, she approaches the refrigerator and then stops in front of her with a glass full of water she gives her to hold, and a pill in her hand.

"You never really took anything for that headache"

"Emma-"

"Don't make me force it in your mouth, I'm stronger than you" she threatens as sternly as she possibly can "Open"

Regina rolls her eyes at her because, what else can she do anyway? And she opens her mouth for Emma to give her the pill that she passes right away with the water. Emma's gaze doesn't leave her as she empties the glass, and when she puts it down and leans back against the counter Emma does the same, nudging her shoulder lightly into hers.

"I don't think the headache is the only thing bothering you" her arms are crossed in front of her chest but her voice stays gentle "But I'm not gonna interrogate you"

Regina holds back a smile, then practically whispers a "Thanks" 

Emma only hums in response, before her eyes travel down Regina's features, settling on her neck where something seems to catch her eye.

"You wore the black one?" 

It takes her a second to understand what Emma's talking about, but when Emma's fingers come up to trace the strap of her borrowed bikini she catches on it pretty quickly and nods.

"It'll look good on you"

The flush that spreads up her neck is completely uncalled for, and she does a terrible job at hiding it, judging by Emma's expression as she observes her. Luckily for her, Lily comes looking for them before that can go any further. Although, unfortunately for everyone involved they're standing way too close and Emma's fingers are still playing with her clothes. Which makes her come to a stop at the threshold and clear her throat not so subtly.

She looks between them once, twice. Pinching the bridge of her nose as she dares to speak.

"You know what? I don't want to know" she's already turning away to leave "Get your asses outside, we're playing volleyball"

When she continues walking Emma gives Regina an apologetic look and immediately follows. She decides to stay inside for a little while though, because if she has to deal with Ruby's comments, Elsa's whatever that was earlier, or Lily's knowing looks right now her headache will only get worse.

---

By the time Regina's done talking to her sister in the living room it's still only 4pm. They were in the middle of a very animated discussion about a fight that happened at school on Wednesday, when Zelena's name popped up on her screen, so Regina went inside to take the call and it lasted longer than expected. Now that she's back outside, she goes to drop back on her seat and notices that Emma isn't anywhere to be seen. So Ruby makes a quick sign towards the lake and Regina decides to make her way there as chatter continues behind her.

The lake isn't far away, in fact, it's practically at the house's backyard, but Regina still has to go down a flight of stairs and walk for a bit to reach the dock. Once she does, she spots a pile of clothes almost at the very edge, before she sees a blonde head of hair come up to the surface.

Emma immediately sees her when she looks up, slightly covering her eyes with her palm from the sun.

"Were you looking for me?" she asks, giving Regina a crooked smile. She doesn't look surprised, it's almost like she expected this.

"Actually, I was" Regina admits simply "What are you doing out here?"

"I sneaked out to take a swim"

That's not exactly what the question was about, Regina can perfectly see that, it was more her asking why Emma is out here alone. She could rephrase it, surely, but Emma keeps looking up at her with pink cheeks and warm eyes that look even brighter bathed in the sunlight, and she finds herself too distracted by this to ask again.

"Why don't you swim with me?" Emma offers, completely unaware of her straying thoughts.

"I don't think-"

"Swim with me" she repeats "Please?"

And at this point Regina's convinced Emma must know what that very specific look she gets when she wants something does to her. She's sure no matter what Emma asks of her, when she hits her with that look Regina will say yes.

So she rolls her eyes and grumbles something under her breath as she reaches for the hem of her top to pull it off her head. It isn't until she locks eyes with Emma as she reveals the very simple black bikini she borrowed from her, that she feels the slightest bit self conscious. Because Emma -very predictably- has the smile of someone who just got what they wanted, but there's something else underneath as her eyes fixate on Regina unabashedly.

She decides to pay no mind to it as she unbuttons her shorts -Emma's shorts, to be more precise- even if she can still feel green eyes on her as she lets them fall at her feet. Emma's eyes on her are the least of her worries when she finally takes in just how big the lake is, which is why she takes a seat at the dock instead of jumping headfirst in the water. Carefully dipping her feet into it.

"How deep is it?" she asks wearily from her spot.

Emma chuckles at that "What? Can't swim?"

Regina fixes her with a stare "I can swim, Emma. I just don't like deep water"

No further explanation is given, and she observes as Emma moves closer toward her, reaching for Regina's fingers that are curled around the edge of the wooden structure. That pretty blush is still there when she looks at her reassuringly while she pulls playfully at her arm.

It doesn't take much more than that for Emma to convince her, and she's sinking into the water before she knows it, holding onto her loosely enough to pretend she's completely unaffected.

"See? Not so bad" Emma says.

It truly isn't. The water feels good and if she ignores the vast expanse of the lake the view is quite beautiful. There's also the fact Emma's keeping her close with an arm wrapped around her waist, and the touch alone is distracting enough to keep her at ease. Said touch, and said closeness, is what she focuses on while Emma pulls her deeper into the water, further away from the shore.

She's beginning to enjoy it when Emma decides it's a good idea to make a joke about protecting her from sea creatures living at the bottom of the lake. Regina regrets following Emma at the image that puts in her head, and her hold on her only grows tighter.

"Don't say that" she presses her eyes closed, willing the image to fade.

"Fuck, sorry" she mutters into Regina's temple "We can go back inside if you want" 

"No, it's fine" 

Still, she feels Emma moving them back closer to the dock. Their feet can touch the bottom again, and her head might as well be buried in the girls neck by this point. Silence doesn't stretch for long though, Emma promptly breaks it.

"Was Elsa bothering you?" she asks. Regina assumes is an attempt at keeping her distracted, but her body goes rigid anyway.

"You saw us talking?" 

"No" Emma drawls "But I have my sources"

Ruby Lucas. That girl is unbelievable.

"She wasn't bothering me" Regina decides to keep the peace.

It must not sound convincing, because Emma coaxes her into looking at her before speaking.

"Are you sure?" Emma insists, and she nods automatically.

"She just wanted to know if I'm really your girlfriend" she adds, watching the blush on Emma's cheeks deepen "She likes you"

"What makes you think that?"

"She told me"

Everything goes quiet for a second as the blonde seemingly processes the information. She doesn't look shocked, but her expression is fairly unreadable so it tells her nothing. Regina's still waiting for her to say something when Emma decides to place her hand at the back of her neck, the arm around her waist pulling her even closer unconsciously.

"I mean, Elsa's pretty. But I don't like her"

Pretty. 

Of course she thinks Elsa's pretty.

"It's okay, you don't need to-"

"God, Regina" she practically giggles at her growing frown "She's not my type"

Regina tilts her head to the side, more curious about the statement than she probably should be "Then who's your type?"

Green eyes lock with hers once again, only this time Emma's gaze wanders slowly across her features, utterly unwilling to look away. The pad of her thumb traces the contour of Regina's jawline as she leans closer, and Regina does nothing to stop her from meeting her lips.

The kiss is firm but unhurried, as if Emma believes she has all the time in the world.

"Do you really want to know?" she murmurs against her lips when they part for air.

Regina can't blame anything but her own impulses for the way she surges forward to capture Emma's lips again. This time there's a certain urgency to it that she usually keeps buried underneath the guise of control, because after the night they had and the morning that followed, things can't be any other way. Specially after Regina has been trying to keep her thoughts at bay for hours, to no avail, and there's only so much build up tension she can take.

That's made evident by the way her breathing grows more shallow as the kiss naturally deepens.

She half expects Emma to put a stop to what they're doing at that, and instead feels the hand at her waist travel downwards under the water, landing on her lower back to keep her close. When Emma does eventually break the kiss, it's only to drop her forehead on her shoulder, breathing in deeply as Regina wills herself to calm her rapid pulse. 

She's only halfway there when Emma places an open mouthed kiss where her head was previously resting, one hand remaining on her lower back all throughout as the other leaves its place at her neck to disappear under the water. Regina pays no mind to it at first, too distracted by the trail of kisses being placed along her neck. 

It's only when she hears her name murmured against her skin that she becomes aware of just how firmly she's being held, and how the pad of Emma's thumb is going back and forth near the underside of her breast.

"You've been thinking about this" Emma points out now close to her ear "Haven't you?"

"Don't flatter yourself Em-"

Her words are swiftly interrupted when Emma sucks on her pulse point, hard enough to make her actually worry she'll leave a mark. There's a you were saying? that barely reaches her ears, because the next thing she feels is Emma stroking her nipple over the fabric of her bikini top. She unwillingly gasps at the touch, the sensation making her lose the ability to come up with a reply. And would think it to be accidental if it wasnt for the feel of Emma's growing smirk against her skin.

It might be the mix of overwhelming sensations consuming her that cloud her mind enough for her to want her to do that again, but Emma's too preoccupied with brushing a kiss by the corner of her lips.

"Does that answer your question?" Emma asks, giving her one last lingering kiss before swimming deeper in and diving under the surface.

She gets even further away and when she comes up for air the way Regina calls her name is nothing short of panicked, which reminds Emma she's supposed to stay with her in case the Loch Ness Monster appears in front of her. It makes her feel a little mean, and guilty, so she swims back towards her in no time.

"Let's go back to the house" she says, getting once again in front of her to distract her from their surroundings "I'm done terrorizing you"

---

Emma knows her shirt is ruined before she even reaches the bathroom, the stain spreading across the front of it is proof enough, and it isn't getting any smaller no matter how many times she scrubs at it with a damp towel and water. At this point she's mostly just making things worse, helping the stain grow over the white fabric.

It probably shouldn't bother her this much, it's just a shirt. But it's also a shirt she happens to really like, that's now permanently decorated with whatever Merida had been drinking. So now she's annoyed, for a legitimate reason that has nothing to do with the fact she's spent the last two hours trying very hard not to replay what happened at the lake in her mind, every time Regina purposefully finds something to do far away from her.

She eventually gives up on the stain and heads upstairs, fully prepared to raid Lily's closet for something to wear. The plan is simple: go in, find a shirt or maybe even a hoodie, and go back out to pretend she's not majorly irritated.

It falls apart as soon as she opens the door and Regina looks up from where she's plugging her phone to stare at her ruined shirt.

"What happened to you?" she asks, it turns out she can talk to Emma as opposed to the last however many minutes she's been pretending not to.

Emma sighs, the kind of sigh reserved for personal tragedies.

"Merida spilled her drink on me" she gestures vaguely at her shirt, making no pause as she moves to the closet "What are you doing here?"

Regina stares at her for a beat too long before replying, and if that has anything to do with Emma pulling her shirt off over her head right that second, she chooses to ignore it and continue opening random drawers.

"Lily told me I could use her charger for my phone" she finally explains.

She goes back to her phone right away, apparently texting someone, but Emma can feel her eyes on her every few seconds as she rummages through the clothes. They both stay quiet, which makes Emma all the more irritated because it only reminds her of two things: the lake and how Regina is obviously avoiding her. In fact, she wonders how long it will take her to leave the room now that she's in it.

She quickly gets an answer to that, since as soon as she puts the new shirt on Regina's making her way towards the door.

"Did I do something?" 

She hears Regina's hand drop from the handle, followed by a deep sigh that should be the first sign of where this conversation is going.

"Why do you ask?" 

"You haven't talked to me since..." she vaguely gestures between them "You know"

"I'm talking to you now, am I not?"

Usually, Emma would find this attitude funny, cute, maybe even hot under the right circumstances. But now, considering other aggravating factors for her mood, it only makes her want to pull her hair out of her head strand by strand. It must show in her demeanor as she approaches Regina, she's sure of it.

"There's something you're not telling me" she tries again "It was the same when we were in the kitchen, you're hiding something"

Regina gives her an unimpressed look "No, you just have a very active imagination" 

And well, Emma's not exactly the most mature person in the group, she's not even the most mature person in the room, but she thinks she's fairly okay. However, if Regina's going to try and gaslight her she'd rather end the conversation.

"You know what? Fine" she throws her hands up "I don't know why I asked"

Regina shakes her head, staring at her in disbelief.

"Are you seriously mad at me now?" 

"No" Emma shrugs, and because she's feeling particularly petty "You just have a very active imagination"

This is where she thinks it will end, maybe Regina will make another sarcastic remark in response, maybe they'll have a bit of a staring contest before she leaves completely aggravated and they proceed to actually avoid each other the rest of the night. Only none of that happens. Regina groans, like the thread where her patience was hanging from finally snapped in half.

And before Emma can even try to continue messing with her, she grabs the front of her shirt and pulls her down for a kiss. A quick, kind of aggressive kiss, filled with frustration that's entirely meant to shut her up.

"I'm avoiding you because I liked it" Regina admits, still not letting go of her entirely "And I keep thinking about it every time you look at me"

Emma blinks at her, dazed, the words knocking every coherent thought out of her head, if there were any. Regina leans even closer, then immediately retreats like she's forcing herself to stay away and failing.

"Is that good enough for you?" 

While her brain catches up to the fact Regina's trying to leave once again, her body has finally reached its limit for the day. So if anyone dares to ask, that's why she catches her wrist before she can take another step, closing the distance between them in one swift impulsive motion. And when Regina ends up backed against the wall, neither of them seems particularly concerned about it.

She kisses her hard, with an intensity that can only come from tons of accumulated tension and excess energy that's had nowhere to go for a while. It's overwhelming and messy, steals the air from her lungs as she drowns in it.

She shares a look with Regina when they eventually part for air. Asking for permission, for what? She's not entirely sure. But Regina only nods in response before whatever space that had opened between them disappears just as quickly as Emma nuzzles into the side of her neck.

"I should get on your nerves more often" she murmurs softly.

"Don't push it" Regina all but breathes.

But Emma ignores the comment completely, in favor of sneaking her hand under her top. She feels a wave of satisfaction rushing through her veins, the moment she hears Regina take a shaky breath when she repeats what she did at the lake, only firmer this time. And everything becomes so fuzzy around the edges, she barely registers her thigh is nestled in between Regina's legs, not until she feels her move against it like she doesn't even notice what she's doing. 

Emma's pretty sure the sound Regina makes alone is enough to make her spontaneously combust. At least that's what she's thinking as she tugs Regina's top upward, just enough to reveal the black bikini she was wearing when they kissed in the water a couple hours before. She tentatively brushes her lips against the exposed skin near her breast, reveling on the way Regina's hand rests at the back of her head.

"Can I leave a mark?" she comes up to ask.

"Emma-" 

"It's not like anybody's gonna see it there" she reasons, voice almost equally as breathy as Regina's "Just you"

Regina looks into her eyes then, pupils blown so wide her irises might as well disappear, and she nods once before capturing her lips on a slow, grounding kiss.

It might be a bit unfair for Emma to push her thigh against her then, putting a bit more pressure in the movement than strictly necessary to be able to call it unintentional. But it's just to help Regina keep her mind off the fact she just agreed to Emma's request. She sinks into the kiss a bit more, smiling at the little sound of protest Regina makes when she pulls away.

This does look good on her. She thinks as her fingers pull at the fabric just slightly to make sure the mark is hidden. She allows her mouth to ghost over Regina's chest before drawing the skin there between her lips. The reaction is nothing short of immediate, when Regina's fingertips dig into her scalp accompanied by another roll of her hips against her thigh.

Her hands are travelling to Regina's hips while she peppers kisses up her chest when she hears her phone ring with an incoming call. And the look Regina throws her way when she picks up and puts the call on speaker is nothing short of murderous.

"Hello?" she says, too breathless even for her own ears.

"Do I even want to know what you're doing in my room?" is what Lily mutters from the other side of the line "Ruby saw you go upstairs and you've been in there for ages"

"Lily, I-"

"Save it, I know you're with Regina just-" she huffs out a breath, Emma can almost see her pinch the bridge of her nose "Don't you know that having sex in other people's rooms is rude or something?" 

There's a pause, because quite frankly she doesn't know what to say to that. And Regina's still looking at her like she might kill her, for a different reason now.

"Get down here or I swear to God"

The line goes silent after that. Emma stares at the phone like it just offended her for a second and then turns to Regina before the absurdity of the situation hits her, and she laughs against Regina's collarbones. The murderous look is still there when she helps her put her top back in place and she feels bold enough to kiss the scowl between her eyebrows.

"Do we play rock, paper, scissors to see who goes out there first or- Ow!"

Regina hits her on the arm with more force than she thought she had in her.

"I can say it's all my fault if it makes you feel better" she offers, putting her hand in her back pockets.

She's regarded with the sort of unimpressed stare that tells her Regina's reconsidering all her life choices because of her. Then she sees her turn away to open the door.

"It does"

Chapter Text

Study hall this year has been Emma's favorite, mostly because the teacher who supervises them could not care less. She usually spends all her time talking to Ruby or playing a game on her phone, it's basically a free period. Or at least it was, until she started sitting with Regina fairly recently.

You see, she isn't entirely sure when everything changed so much, but at some point after the lake house, Regina became a very important part of her routine. Even more so than before, because they stopped having the excuse of tutoring and started spending the majority of their time together just because they could.

It was pretty much as simple as it sounds. There had been no conversation, no awkward discussion about what they were doing or what it meant for the both of them. They just decided to accept the fact they would keep gravitating towards each other, which only got more evident when Emma started texting Regina at the end of the school day to ask about her plans for later. Or when she'd see Regina wandering into the field after her practice to say hi.

Neither of them questioned it, in fact, they didn't stop to think about anything other than how close to impossible it would be to put a stop to it by the time they noticed the pattern. And all this is just to explain how Emma now finds herself bored to pieces during what used to be her fun class, because she'd rather be forced to actually study by Regina, than sit at the other side of the room to stare at her anyway, for some reason.

Only today she's still staring at her, and stopped pretending to study a long time ago.

"Do I have something on my face?" Regina questions, still with her eyes on her book.

Emma startles a bit, way too lost on commiting her side profile to memory. Although she recovers impressively fast and decides to have fun with this as much as she can now that she's been given the opportunity.

"No, I'm just looking at you"

Regina does turn to her then "Why?"

Emma shrugs "You're kinda hot when you're all focused"

She should've expected that to be immediately followed by Regina swatting her arm. So she does her best not to give an audible reaction to that, and focuses on enjoying the blush she just caused to color the brunette's cheeks.

"What's wrong with you?!" Regina hisses, looking around as if everyone just heard that.

Emma's very close to dissolving into laughter.

"A lot, do you want a list?" she challenges.

Regina has to fight a smile despite herself, but to Emma's disappoinment she goes back to her work right after. Most realistically she tries to, because Emma decides to move her chair closer and continue her incessant staring.

Around them nobody seems particularly interested in doing anything productive, aside from a couple people who are actually studying as well. Most of their classmates are on their phones, and someone's even sleeping in the back. Maybe that's why Emma feels particularly bold now.

"Do you think" she begins thoughtfully "That anyone would mind if I kiss you for a bit?"

Regina nearly drops her pen, and her voice sounds genuinely exasperated when she speaks.

"Is this some sort of punishment for making you study?"

Emma rests her chin on her hand, eyes still on her. She knows by now Regina's successfully aggravated, but there's 15 minutes left of this class. So she will follow through with the joke, not because she's actually trying to make out with Regina in the middle of class -which, sure, she'd love to kiss her. But you know, time and place- but because she finds the way Regina reacts to her slightly entertaining.

"That wasn't a no"

"That was absolutely a no!" Regina hisses again, this time through gritted teeth.

"Okay then" she sighs dramatically and slumps back into her chair "I didn't say it had to be on the lips though"

That finally earns her a laugh, a small one but a laugh nonetheless. And Regina finally puts her book down, which is great.

"Why didn't you start with that?" Regina gives her a tiny, humorless smile "Don't let me stop you"

The sarcasm in her voice is not lost on Emma, but she'll take what she can get. That's why she allows a whole five seconds to go by, giving Regina some time to think she's leaving her alone before she leans in, stamping a kiss on her cheek. It's barely anything and Regina still freezes in response, like she didn't really expect Emma to do it. 

Just before she can continue bothering her, the study hall teacher says something for the first time in who knows how long.

"I saw that, Swan" which how? he hasn't even looked up from whatever he's grading, but that's not all "No kissing in my class"

Great.

The room falls silent, then in what for her feels like slow motion, everyone turns in their direction as Regina closes her eyes and presumably counts to ten. It's pure luck that nobody says anything, at least not loud enough for them to hear. But after they go back to their stuff Emma gives up the teasing, a little too late, because Regina doesn't talk to her again for the rest of the period. Even if there's the tiniest hint of a smirk tugging at her lips every time Emma attempts to get her attention.

---

Regina is mad about the study hall incident for all but five minutes and the rest of the time she's just letting Emma think she wants to kill her. Soon they have to go to different classes, and by the time they're allowed to go home Emma comes with her anyway, because that was their plan all along, and Emma being extra annoying for reasons she can't piece together is not a bad enough offense to change that.

So she's decided to leave it in the past as she lies on her bed while Emma flips through the pages of a photo album she found.

"Oh my God" she stifles a laugh from her side as her fingers trace the edges of an old photograph.

Regina turns onto her side next to her, propping herself up onto the pillows to get a better look at what caught Emma's attention. She thinks she must be around three years old on the picture, and it is fairly adorable, but also deeply embarrassing for some reason.

"The dress is cute" Emma adds.

She hums in approval "I might actually still have it"

"Really?"

"I think" she shrugs "My mom got rid of most of the old stuff after my father died though"

"Oh" Emma's smile falters a little and it makes Regina feel oddly exposed.

"It's okay, he was the sentimental one" she reasons "My mother is very different"

That she is, different. She likes to keep trophies, medals or, when she was little -if she got lucky- her mom would keep handmade gifts or drawings to show her friends as a cute little thing, if they were good enough. She's not the kind of person who keeps silly pictures, birthday cards or memories from the past she deems insignificant. 

The one who used to do that sort of thing, as she said, was her father.

"I don't think I have anything from when I was that little" is what Emma says, eyes still fixed on the picture "Unless my baby blanket counts"

Regina's not entirely sure why the conversation went down that path so suddenly on both ends. But Emma's demeanor has entirely changed in the span of five seconds, so she grabs the photo album from her hands and closes it, leaving it somewhere out of view before she turns back to her.

"Of course it counts" she affirms softly.

Emma lets out a shaky exhale and gives her a reluctant smile. Still, Regina can tell her mind is being loud, so she reaches for Emma's hand and threads her fingers through hers. Keeping hold of her hand, she leans back into the pillows, quietly pulling Emma in until she settles against her front, melting into her while Regina remains reclined against the headboard.

"I don't know why I got weird" Emma admits quietly, voice muffled into her chest "I usually don't care about that stuff"

She runs her knuckles across Emma's back as she speaks "I don't mind"

Emma buries herself deeper into her chest, but she doesn't say anything in response to that, not really. And it's not like Regina needs her to say something, she just allows the closeness to soften everything around the edges as the silence stretches.

"Ruby asked Belle out on a date today" Emma comments after a while, amusement evident in her tone "She said yes"

"Really?" 

She knows all about it already, because Kathryn shares a couple classes with Belle and she was sitting with her when Ruby approached her to very casually drop the question. She's positive the class wasn't even over when Kathryn was already telling her about it. But Emma doesn't need to know that, Regina will let her talk about whatever she wants to if it helps.

It's just unfortunate that she chooses to talk about dating of all things, because Regina's not sure why talking about this particular topic with Emma makes her exceptionally fidgety, specially since they haven't talked about their thing, and haven't put a name to it, even if all their friends ignore what they have to say and insist on saying they are, indeed, girlfriends. 

That's another thing she didn't think about until now, their friend groups started to merge out of nowhere. She's not complaining though, their friends do -surprisingly- get along perfectly well. It just goes to show how so many things have changed in the span of a few months.

"Yep, do you know what this means?" 

Regina has truly no idea where this is going, and Emma has this look on her face that tells her whatever she'll say next is not something she can predict. 

"You were wrong" she finally states.

Lost. Regina's very lost "I'm not sure I follow"

Emma lifts her head and inches higher, propping herself up enough to look at her, still practically draped over her side.

"You said they were never gonna work and they clearly like each other"

Oh right. That.

The memory of that conversation comes to her clear as day now. With Emma consuming most of her time outside of studying and extracurriculars it's not like she's been keeping tabs on Ruby and Belle. She'll admit she's interested in how things go with them since Ruby very subtly called her out on the exact comment Emma's holding over her head now, but it's not something she regularly thinks about.

Emma, on the other hand, has been apparently keeping record, so Regina's pretty sure about what she wants from her right now.

That doesn't mean she'll surrender so easily.

"I remember that... What about it?"

"You know what" Emma huffs a disbelieving laugh, then narrows her eyes "At least say I was right"

She gives Emma the most condescending look she can muster "No"

It's very much in that moment that she realizes she forgot to consider a key detail when she decided to thoroughly antagonize Emma five seconds ago: Emma has been nothing but unpredictable today. So she doesn't see it coming when she climbs fully over her, her legs bracketing her hips and effectively trapping her in place. She makes an indignant sound as the girl stubbornly settles more comfortably on top of her.

"I'm not moving until you say it" 

Regina scoffs "What are you? Thirteen?"

Emma's already present scowl deepens "Clock's ticking"

"I'm not going to-"

"Fine"

Emma wraps her arms around her and buries her head on her shoulder, as if she's pretending to stay in place indefinitely.

She categorically refuses to give her any sort of reaction. This -however childish and ridiculous- tactic she's using is simply all bluff. She will get bored or get tired of it, eventually. Except it doesn't happen. Emma's impressively stubborn today and won't budge, which Regina realizes soon enough, and she comes up to the conclusion that if Emma's strategy is to exhaust her then so be it.

She sighs, a deep exaggerated sigh "I guess we'll stay here all day then"

That's apparently all it takes for Emma to push herself upright again, face just a few inches away from her own but it doesn't seem to bother her. She's looking at her like she's searching for signs of a joke in her words before the scowl comes back into place.

"There's no way you're really this stubborn"

The corner of Regina's mouth twitches slightly. She settles on watching Emma closely, then reaches up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, her touch lingering by her neck for a bit longer than necessary. She rather likes the way Emma reacts to this, it makes her almost forget she's just supposed to use it against her.

"Don't underestimate me, Emma" she warns, although her voice is impossibly soft "You have no idea what I'm capable of"

The moment Emma's brain short circuits is clear as day. She blinks, and stares, and the faint blush that was coloring her cheeks when Regina dared to touch her is now a deeper shade of red. Emma exhales a shaky breath, her eyes traitorously falling on Regina's lips for the shortest beat before she shakes her head as if getting out of a trance.

"That's cheating" she admonishes "You're just trying to distract me"

Regina's faint smirk only grows "Is it working?"

Her fingertips at the back of Emma's neck scratch the skin there softly before pulling her the slightest bit closer. That's what does it. Emma stares at her for a long moment, then leans down to close the gap between their lips. It's entirely impulsive, all frustration, and impatience. But Regina still kisses her back on pure instinct.

Emma kisses her like she wants to steal the air from her lungs. Like Regina pretending she doesn't know what she's doing is only the perfect excuse to allow her to do exactly this. It's clumsy in places, determined and filled with reckless affection that lingers every time their lips move against each other. Regina can feel the mattress shift beneath her as Emma adjusts instinctively closer, and she slides her hand into blonde hair.

When they finally break apart she can feel Emma smiling faintly against her lips before she kisses her again, but it's over barely two seconds after and Regina can't hide her disappoinment as well as she wishes she could.

"You can pretend you have the upper hand all you want" Emma murmurs "We both know that's not true"

Regina's eyes flutter shut briefly as Emma's fingers skim over the exposed skin right over her hip bone. They've been practically unable to stay away from each other since the lake, but nothing remotely similar has happened since then, apart from the usual kissing. Regina suddenly wonders if having Emma's lips elsewhere would feel equally as overwhelming today, even though she wouldn't try to bring it up. She does, however, try to resume their kiss and gets nowhere since Emma pulls away too quickly.

"Uh uh, I need to hear it first" she says, looking down at her smug as ever.

She still has it in her to roll her eyes, but that's the moment Emma decides to start playing with the hem of her top, pushing it up as she slides down her torso. Regina doesn't dare ask what she's doing, but she gets a pretty gpod idea once Emma's lips make contact with the skin by her waistline.

"Emma"

"What?" she looks up at her, all feign innocence and rosy cheeks "I'm just making time while you give up"

Another open mouthed kiss is dropped just right above her navel, and she has to suppress the shiver that goes down her spine at the feeling. Emma clearly notices, and her expression turns unbearably smug as she presses one more lingering kiss against her skin, this time dangerously low, fingers still gripping along her waist.

She closes her eyes briefly. It's humiliating that this is what will make her resolve crumble. Emma's not even doing anything and her skin's already burning, covered by goosebumps. The worst part is that she doesn't even know if she wants her to continue what she's doing or stop so she can kiss her and they can go back to safer territory.

She decides on the latter.

"Okay" she mutters at last.

Emma stills her movements and she opens her eyes just to find her already looking up at her triumphantly. It's infuriating, and cute, as annoying as that is. 

"You were right" she says, it's surprisingly easier than she expected. Maybe because it's Emma.

Emma who's currently beaming as she comes back up and stops torturing her at last. There's not a trace of surprise in her expression, like she knew she would get the words out of her one way or the other.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" 

She opens her mouth to argue, but Emma kisses her before she can say a single word. Slower this time, softer. When they pull apart Emma still looks far too pleased with herself, but somehow she doesn't mind it as much as before.

---

The car ride home is particularly quiet. Emma's not bothering Regina nearly as much as she usually does when she drives, and instead spends the whole time taunting herself because she can't find it in her to act normal. She did a good job for a while there, until her time to leave kept getting closer, and the discussion about childhood memories came back to the forefront of her mind, only for guilt to become the main emotion tied to it.

This is what usually happens, when she has moments like the one with the photo album, she tells herself she shouldn't feel like that anymore. Like an orphan. Because she has parents, has had them for a while, and she's not entirely sure how they would feel if they knew she still thinks about everything that came before them. That sometimes, even though she's about to graduate, she still feels like the little girl who kept being passed from one foster home to another, wondering if she would ever find someone who cared enough.

So yes, there's a lot of water under that particular bridge and that's why her head is all over the place. 

The fact Regina has been nothing but understanding only makes the guilt a hundred times worse, so by the time they pull up to her house, Emma really just wants to get through dinner with her mom, then go to sleep and forget all about pictures, dresses and baby blankets.

Unfortunately for her, her mom is clearly in the mood for company, and the moment she sees Regina she invites her in for dinner. Of course, Regina being her well-mannered self accepts the offer like saying no it's not even an option. She does look to Emma for approval first, but Emma would be an asshole if she made her decline.

So she stays for dinner and here they are, sitting side by side on the table, Emma's mom across from them as she makes conversation with Regina all throughout. Because Regina's the perfect guest, which Emma's grateful for since she's not in a talkative mood. She's barely even paying attention to their conversation until her mom decides to turn it into an interrogatory.

"Are you sure your mother doesn't mind that you're here?"

This might be the first time Emma looks up from whatever's left of her food to listen to what's happening around her, because the moment she turns left she can see Regina tense beside her and knows that the answer to that question isn't something she wants to dive into. 

Regina's great at hiding her feelings, for someone who doesn't know her. But Emma would like to think she isn't just anyone.

"She's at a conference in New York actually" comes the well rehearsed response "She'll probably be back next week" 

"Next week?" Emma can practically hear the array of concerned questions her mom will surely ask, but she starts with "Will you be home alone till then?"

Emma's plate is long forgotten.

Ever since the door opened for Regina to think about her relationship with her mother -all thanks to her- she's seen her question things that were usually an afterthought. Things that previously didn't bother her are now what she struggles with the most. So she can definitely tell when Regina doesn't want to talk about her mother, and right now she clearly doesn't. Her smile is still in place but it's painfully polite, and the pause she makes after hearing the question is too long for Emma's liking.

"She's very busy lately" is the only thing she says to that.

And before her mom can make another question, Emma reaches for Regina's knee under the table and gives it a gentle squeeze.

"Hey, mom, didn't you say something about dessert before?" she reminds her.

Her mom looks like she already had a couple questions ready to shoot at the tip of her tongue, but she excuses herself to go to the kitchen anyway.

When she disappears Regina finally relaxes fully under Emma's touch, reaching for the hand on her knee to interlace their fingers together. She doesn't let go of Emma, not even when her mom comes back to the table. And Emma makes sure to veer the conversation away from Regina for the rest of their time there.

Another half hour passes by, and she finds that after picking everything up, she doesn't want Regina to leave anymore. This is something she's sure her mother notices to some capacity, when she insists on Emma walking Regina to her car as she finishes up with the dishes. Which Emma does, and she's ready to tell Regina to drive safely when she turns towards her instead of opening the door to the driver's seat.

"Are you feeling any better?" she asks, pulling Emma closer to her by the hand.

"I should be the one asking you that" Emma frowns.

"I'm perfectly fine, thanks" she points her finger accusingly to Emma's chest "You were very quiet earlier"

Emma thinks that over for a second. She is feeling better, she was just so focused on getting Regina through dinner with her mom she kind of forgot about what had her so quiet in the first place. 

"I'm perfectly fine, thanks" she leans into her, imitating Regina's tone with a playful grin.

Regina looks at her skeptically before giving a short nod and a hum in response.

"I should go then" she says, then softer "See you at school?"

Emma nods, still holding her hand and takes a step closer before she can overthink it, brushing a kiss to Regina's cheek that lingers more than it probably should, yet not long enough for what any of them truly wants.

"See you at school"

The way Regina eyes her lips doesn't go unnoticed for her, and she thinks about it even as she's back inside. 

Later, when she's comfortably in bed and as she's drifting off, it occurs to her that the day was specially draining, which is such a wild thought to have since they really didn't have a busy day at all, besides the impromptu dinner together. But, as it turns out, sometimes small things can be quite a lot to handle.

Chapter Text

December comes faster than any of them can anticipate. Regina's still just excited to be able to leave school and come back until January, to travel to London and stay with her sister, maybe even see what's so good about it for Zelena to visit only once a year at best. Beyond the trip itself, she's been trying really hard not to think about what she'll do in the foreseeable future.

It's only been four months of school but somehow for her it feels like she's lived many different lives, or at the very least she knows there's two. Because now there's life before Emma and there's life after. She wonders how her school year would have gone if she had never had to put up with tutoring and spending time with Emma. She knows without a doubt that if Mrs. Fisher had never suggested the arrangement, Emma and her would graduate without ever doing more than crossing paths down the hallway.

She's not entirely sure what could have been. Maybe, they would have interacted at some point during English class because Ruby would have still pursued Belle and maybe that could have pushed them closer. But, that doesn't really matter, all that matters now is that she's finishing up her makeup as Emma continues to watch her instead of getting ready herself, and that's getting on her nerves.

"Are you going to stare at me all afternoon or will you get ready before we have to leave?" She asks, now turning to where she's sitting on her bed. 

"I'm not staring" Emma shoots back, but Regina arches her brow at her and she crumbles pretty fast under pressure "Okay maybe I am, but it's not my fault you look so" Regina looks at her expectantly and there's a faint blush making its way up her cheeks "Nice"

Regina suppresses the stupid smile that wants to escape, she needs to focus. But this has been happening lately, Emma has become increasingly more open about her thoughts. It happens at school when she can feel Emma's eyes on her as they're doing their work. It happens when she's driving her home and Emma can't stop staring, so Regina asks what she's looking at and at first Emma says nothing. But it mostly happens when they're together like this, the blonde will simply disconnect mid conversation to stare at Regina before saying some kind of variation of what she just said. 

Regina usually falls for it, but her mind is on the gala today, and the fact she asked Emma to come with her and didn't think of the possibility she would be no help at all. So she stands up from her place and looks over at Emma before speaking. 

"Come here" Emma doesn't need to be told twice, but she looks a bit disappointed when Regina just tells her to sit on the chair.

"Are you doing my makeup?" Emma asks looking up at her.

"Yes" she says simply "That way you can stare at me but still be ready on time"

Emma grabs her hand to pull her closer, then pats her lap in a silent invitation that Regina decides to take. If there's something she's learned lately, is that Emma has no concept of personal space, and the fact she enjoys the closeness as well is not something she needs to admit out loud. 

She ends up sitting sideways on Emma's lap and starts going through with her task, focused on getting this over with before they're actually late for the event. Things do go smoothly for a while, and Emma does sit obediently listening to every direction she gives, but every good thing has an end.

"What are you gonna wear?" Emma asks, it's probably the third time she's interrupted her to ask a question.

"You'll see later"

Emma hums in quiet disappoinment at the answer, though Regina can tell she's not actually upset. She has been asking the same question since Regina sent pictures of her options a couple days ago, and at this point must know she'll have to wait to see it. So she's mainly just talking to fill in the silence, and keep her attention of course. Which is more or less pointless, since Regina's rapidly losing the ability to focus anyway.

Emma's hand that had settled on her knee earlier, keeps drifting higher every few minutes. Regina doubts she's even aware of it, it doesn't feel purposeful enough to assume that. But she still feels every absent-minded touch.

"Do you still want me to wear the red dress?" Emma asks.

Absolutely "If that's the one you want"

She's still a little sad Emma didn't let her buy her a dress, she'll wear one of hers instead because -in her own words- she won't use a dress like the ones they'll wear tonight, probably ever again. She's hopeful Emma will choose the wine red dress she tried on earlier in the day. The mental image doesn't help her mind quiet down, on the contrary. And she tries very hard to ignore the way Emma's thumb slowly traces back and forth against the outside of her thigh.

It turns out this is the absolute worst day to be wearing a skirt.

"Regina"

She blinks "Hm?" 

Emma laughs softly, and it seems to her like that wasn't the first time she called her name at all.

"You weren't listening to me, were you?"

She's about to lie through her teeth when Emma's other hand leaves its place at her waist to brush her thumb down her jawline. It's a casual touch, the kind of touch Emma's far too comfortable with by now, the kind Regina's fairly used to as well. Only that, added to the still very persistent touch on her thigh and the way Emma's looking at her, it effectively silences her.

"What's got you so distracted?" Emma asks, eyes glued on her.

"You" 

The admission is out of her mouth before she can do anything about it, her voice low and breathy, and way too affected for her liking. Emma seems caught off guard by the sincerity underneath it all, at least for a second before a delighted smile makes its way along her lips. Regina begrudgingly lowers Emma's hand back to where it came from and -deciding to ignore whatever just happened- steadies her chin with two fingers, to keep her still as she attempts to finish filling in her eyebrows.

This lasts all of two seconds before Emma shifts again, this time ghosting the tips of her fingers against the inside of her thigh and she has to close her eyes briefly in response.

"Stop that" she orders, but it doesn't sound so convincing.

Emma furrows her brows "What?"

The worst part is that Regina genuinely believes she has no clue what she's doing to her this time. She's not even sure why she's reacting like this herself. She has to wrap her fingers around Emma's wrist for her to notice, eyes widening when her brain registers the implication before retrieving her hand in a rush.

"Sorry, I didn't-"

"It's fine" Regina dismisses the apology completely, finding the way Emma avoids her eyes almost comical "Just stay still"

She does, and everything's mostly hectic after that. Regina finishes her makeup in record time, she does her hair on her own and is -surprisingly- ready way before the brunette. To the point she's left sitting at the edge of the bed for at least ten minutes after Regina disappears into her walk-in closet. She's not fully sure why she's taking so long in there, she was the one who wanted to leave early in the first place. 

Also Emma's pretty hungry.

She would tell Regina to hurry, but she's still recovering from the way she looked at her when she saw her in the dress she chose, the brief flicker of surprise -and something else entirely- she failed to hide before smoothing her expression into something neutral. It was the same distinctive look Regina has been giving her more frequently the past few weeks, the one she saw directed at her for the first time when she stupidly forgot to put a shirt on the morning after the party. It makes Emma feel a jolt of something she refuses to name, at least for now.

That doesn't help her at all when Regina finally comes out. 

"Can you help me with the zipper?"

The moment Emma looks up enough to take her in, she knows she's done for. For a second there's not even half a coherent thought in her brain. Just Regina. And once that's over, she's certain there's no way she will survive this night while her mind is on her. She knows the whole gala will be a special kind of torture if she has to be near her without being able to do anything about the sudden urge she has to kiss her senseless. And they haven't even left yet.

"Sure" 

She regrets agreeing to help so fast, but walks up to her nonetheless. All she can think of now, is the fact doing this for Regina means standing way too close to her, feeling the warmth of her skin and smelling her perfume before she's mentally prepared for it. So she forces her mind to focus on the most irrelevant details, as some sort of coping mechanism.

The way the fabric hugs Regina tighter as the zipper goes up, how her hair bounces back into place once it's done. They're all things she puts her focus on, and they do nothing to put her mind at ease. Instead, she becomes painfully aware of her own heartbeat, wondring if Regina can hear it as well, but she doesn't get an answer to that and it doesn't really matter once Regina turns back around.

She's known Regina's pretty from the beginning. Attractive, beautiful; objectively speaking. Yet somehow this feels different. Maybe it's because she's never seen her like this. Maybe it's the color of the dress, a dark blue she never considered could look this good on her before. Or maybe it's the fact Emma has spent the past four months making the mistake of falling for her.

This is definitely not the moment for that.

"Oh my God" Regina groans "Why didn't you tell me I was taking so long?!"

"I didn't-"

But Regina's already dragging her by the hand and out of the room. Emma hopes she can survive the evening, if Regina doesn't kill her for being late somehow.

---

They finally manage to escape after what feels like an eternity. Regina's not entirely sure who the man was, one of her mother's friends for sure. One of those people she only sees at her mother's events, who makes sure to tell her about how they know her since she was a baby, and that Regina has only a vague memory of.

It happens every year, at least a couple people approach her to ask questions about her life out of politeness, because she's the hostess' daughter so it's basically her gala as well. It always starts with school, and since Zelena left for college maybe questions about her, or about horse riding if she's lucky enough. Either way, the questions are never ending.

So she can't blame Emma for being visibly bored by the time they get away. She did last maybe fifteen minutes actively listening -or pretending to- before Regina could practically see her mind drifting away from the conversation. Luckily for both of them, they're already making their way to their table, arms linked together as they walk.

"Do all rich men like the sound of their own voices so much?"

Regina stifles a laugh at Emma's question "Usually, yes"

They pass a couple people who say hi to Regina, none of them interested enough to engage in conversation.

"We should go back to your place" Emma suggests.

Regina's eyes are still straight ahead, but there's a smile underneath her tone "You want to leave and have a sleepover?"

"Why not?" Emma shrugs, the lower she says "You can keep the dress on though, I like it"

She turns to Emma then, hiding her blush as best as she can "If you want me to sleep wearing this dress then you'll do the same"

She allows her eyes to wander around after that, feeling Emma lean the slightest bit closer into her before she speaks.

"I'll do whatever you want if you keep the dress"

Regina hates the fact she actually considers it. Only for a second, but that second is long enough to imagine Emma stealing her away from the gala, long enough to imagine leaving, to forget that they are still surrounded by at least a hundred people and not alone in her room back home.

Then she hears it.

"Darling, there you are" her mother's voice reaches her ears, effectively taking her out of the fantasy, and before she can reply she's already grabbing her by the hand "There's someone I want you to meet"

She shares a look with Emma, an apology and a silent agreement to find each other in a while. Apparently her mother is very excited about this -which should be the first warning sign for her- and the excuse of saying hi to Emma is useless since they went straight to her mother when they arrived at the gala. Pleasantries have long taken place.

"Who is it?" Regina asks, curious "One of your friends?"

"Do you have to be so impatient, dear? It's unbecoming"

Regina straightens imperceptibly, it's an automatic response at this point.

"If you must know" her mother starts "He's the son of our newest investor"

She laughs at first, but it's gone as fast as it came when she realizes this is very much serious. Her mom has tried to do this a couple times at events before, not only at this particular gala, but at fundraisings, corporate events she's forced to go to, birthday parties and so on. It's not new, but what makes it weird is that Regina thought she was safe from it this year.

It turns out she was wrong.

"I don't think that's a good idea"

She can practically hear her mom's disapproving look "Regina, dear, this is not the moment for you to be difficult" 

"Difficult?" she practically hisses "I don't need you to find me a boyfriend, mother"

Regina stops, long enough for a couple people to turn and look at them. She knows it gets on her mother's nerves, which is exactly what she wants since she's apparently set on making her night ten times worse. When her mother turns toward her with a loving smile on her face, Regina knows she's been successful.

"Why?" the question is almost gentle "Because you have Emma Swan?" 

She goes still. Of all the things her mother could say, that was not even on the list of possibilities, so the reaction is not her best moment.

"Mother, I-"

"Oh, Regina" she cuts her off, reaching up to cup her face softly "I truly hoped you'd have better judgement than this"

Her mind is suddenly blank, before a merciless rush of question invades her. She's reminded of every study session, every time she stayed over with Emma, every time they'd been together in front of her mother. Not many, but enough for her to notice something.

And just how much has her mother seen?

"If a girl is what you want we can discuss that later. I've heard Malin likes girls as well" 

"Mal?" Regina questions alarmed "She's my best friend, mother"

"Then we can find another girl" her mother argues "Now follow me"

For a moment Regina can't do anything but stare at her before doing as asked. Because then she understands that her mother's problem isn't that she likes girls, the problem is the girl she likes. And that she thinks she can find her a replacement, as if Emma was a hobby Regina picked up that her mother doesn't deem appropriate. It's something she was naive enough to never even consider. And perhaps she would rather have her mother calling her a freak than this. 

She doesn't want another girl, and somehow she's certain her mother knows that.

---

At this point into the night Emma doubts she's blending in with the crowd anymore. The part of her brain that cared about that is currently busy with trying not to stare at Regina -and the guy she's talking to- like a creep. Whatever conversation Cora wanted Regina to have with this guy clearly wasn't a short one, in fact, it's long enough for Emma to start considering just walking over there and leaving with Regina like she suggested earlier... She's never considered herself to be the jealous type. Even back when she was with her first boyfriend, jealousy wasn't a thing for her. But this is different. 

For some reason, the fact it was Regina's own mother who wanted them to meet makes an uneasy feeling settle in her chest. Emma's not stupid, she knows that Cora might never be home, might not care for calling Regina ten times during the day to check in on her. And she might have been nothing but welcoming towards Emma the few times they've seen each other. But Emma knows she doesn't belong here, will never belong in the eyes of someone like her.

"She used to be way better at pretending to enjoy herself before"

Emma tears her eyes away from Regina long enough to find Mal taking the seat beside her on the table, and judging by the subtle smirk on her face she's been there at least long enough to notice exactly where her attention was directed at.

"She looks fine to me" she says.

Mal follows her gaze again, towards Regina and the guy "Trust me. She isn't happy"

Emma squints "How do you know that?"

Mal laughs, a short laugh but a sincere one at that. It doesn't sound like she's making fun of her, just slightly amused by the question.

"No offense, Emma. But you've been her girlfriend for what? A couple months?" 

"I'm not her girlfriend" she automatically corrects her. It only makes Mal's smugness amplify tenfold.

"If that's what you want to believe" Mal sighs "Either way, I have years of practice on you"

Her eyes find Regina very shortly before turning back to Mal. 

"And what's your verdict?"

"She doesn't want to be over there" she states "Besides, she doesn't really care about these events anyway"

"Then why does she come?" Emma asks.

"Cora" 

Emma hums. Maybe Mal is right, she doesn't know the half of it.

"At least she won't have to come once she leaves for college"

Emma practically snorts "You think her mom won't force her to come from Harvard or whichever fancy school she's going to?"

"Oxford" Mal corrects her simply "And she won't, Zelena isn't here, is she?"

The comment about Regina's sister is true. All she knows about her is she left to go to Cambridge and never looked back. It makes sense with a mother like theirs, she doubts Cora would go through the trouble of flying to another continent for this.

Then Emma's brain goes back to the critical piece of information Mal just dropped on her, and everything else becomes unimportant.

"Oxford?" she repeats.

Mal frowns, visibly confused. Like she was supposed to know, like it's not news at all.

"It's been her dream since forever" she adds "She didn't tell you?"

No, she didn't.

The words don't leave her mouth, but she's pretty sure her face gives Mal enough of an answer to the question, mostly because her expression shifts into something awfully similar to sympathy, and Emma hates it. She stands so abruptly the chair scrapes against the floor, and then everything around turns into a blur. The gala, the music, the bunch of people she doesn't know and the few she already forgot the names for. She needs a minute, maybe two, away from it.

So of course she walks directly into Regina.

"Hey" 

The apparent relief to see Emma promptly vanishes from her face once she fully takes in her state.

"What's wrong?" 

All that leaves Emma's mouth is "You're leaving?"

Regina freezes for a beat, she obviously expected to hear anything but that, and somehow seems to know exactly what Emma's talking about, which would be a comforting thought in any other situation. She takes a short look around, too many people in earshot or so Emma assumes, because she says nothing apart from come with me before interlacing her fingers with hers and dragging her away from the main ballroom.

This is infinitely worse for Emma, although she doesn't know if an immediate yes or no would've helped her case. She allows Regina to lead the way regardless, until they reach the base of the grand staircase -the kind she's only ever seen in museums- and go up step by step. 

She's not truly paying attention to where they're going once they reach the top of the stairs, but she does notice how the noise from the party starts falling behind, how there's less people around with every step they take. There's a hallway where they pass a couple doors, and Regina slows her pace until they reach the one she opens, pulling Emma in without a second thought.

She barely allows herself to take the room in before Regina closes the door behind them. It's way smaller, a sitting room away from the crowd where everything outside is muffled by the door and it's just the two of them.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asks.

It's the first time she properly looks up at Regina, there's not exactly anger in her voice but rather just confusion, maybe? So the question still stands, but maybe for Regina it sounds like anger, at least judging by the way she almost winces in response before moving away from the door and closer to her.

"I was planning to, but-"

"But?" it comes out softer, weaker than she intends "Were you just going to leave without telling me?"

"God, Emma, no"

Regina's expression softens then, which doesn't help, it doesn't help at all. Because all Emma sees is pity, it's the same expression Mal had after realizing she told her something she shouldn't have. The same expression she saw aimed at her at least a thousand times before she was even old enough to make sense of it.

So she retreats the moment Regina tries to approach her.

"No, you were not going to tell me" Emma mutters, the looks up at her with what she's sure are visibly teary eyes, but that's the least of her problems now "I had to hear it from Mal"

"That's not-" Regina stops herself, shaking her head before continuing in a calmer tone "Please just listen to me"

There's barely even a beat before Emma makes her choice.

"No" 

"Emma" Regina breathes.

"I'm not stupid, Regina" Emma lets out a broken laugh "Or maybe I am, because why would you even care enough to tell me?"

She sees the way Regina's breath catches, like she's been holding it in the entire time and just now remembered she needs to breathe.

"Please stop" she says.

Her voice cracks before the tears come, and a moment she's trying to reason with her and the next she's crying, which happens so fast Emma can barely make sense of it fast enough to say anything. She watches Regina close her eyes briefly, as if that will stop the tears, or maybe she's just trying to stay collected enough to speak.

"I don't even know if I'm leaving, because of you!" she says brokenly, then "Every time I think about it, it turns into this choice that I-"

Regina stops herself, swallowing hard, but she already said it and it lands so heavily that Emma falters because of it.

"You don't get to decide how much I care about you" 

"That wasn't-"

"Yes, it was!" Regina cuts her off more sharply now "Respectfully, Emma... You don't know anything about my feelings for you"

Tears fall more freely now, and she can see Regina's chest rising too fast.

"My mother's been making choices for me my whole life, even now she wants-" she lets out a sharp, broken breath that turns into a sob "I can't do this"

When her tears turn into panic more than anger, and her breathing comes too fast to be mistaken for anything else than being completely overwhelmed, Emma moves. Her own anger, the fear, the slight tinge of jealousy. All of it finally drops.

Shit.

She steps forward "Hey, look at me"

Regina's still crying, in fact, she's never seen her quite like this. So she knows she fucked up majorly.

"I'm sorry" Emma says quickly, voice just a bit too urgent "I was an asshole and I know this is not my choice to make I just- got scared" 

She rushes through her words, now tentatively bringing her hand up to catch a stray tear from Regina's cheek with the pad of her thumb, like she's not sure if she's allowed to touch her but she doesn't really know what to do otherwise.

"Please try to breathe" she says softer.

Regina does, barely, but she does. And Emma shifts closer when she sees it's not making it worse but helping instead. She hesitates for maybe half a second before offering.

"Can I..." She starts, although she doesn't need to finish the sentence, Regina doesn't wait for the rest of it. She just moves.

It's not like she's dramatically dropping to the floor and Emma holds her up, more like she falls into Emma's arms, wrapping her own around her neck and holding onto her, and Emma willingly catches her.

"Okay" Emma almost whispers as she adjusts her grip "I've got you"

Her arms tighten carefully around her and Regina's face presses into her shoulder. She can feel her tears on her skin but doesn't truly mind. It's not until she hears Regina take another very uneven breath that she remembers what she should be doing.

"Can you try to breathe for me now?" She murmurs, one hand coming up to the back of her head "Just try, no pressure"

Which there is, quite honestly. If this gets worse Emma might actually start to panic too, cause she's usually on the other side of this, not the calming grounding presence. And that would be less than ideal, so she needs to focus on helping Regina rather than the worst possible case scenario.

She does the only thing she can think of and starts breathing deliberately, hoping that Regina will somehow imitate what she's doing. She does the whole in and out thing she's heard her mom do plenty of times, and keeps a steady hold on her.

She isn't sure if it's working for a while, not sure it will work at all. But then Regina tries again and it comes out steadier than before. Her breathing starts to even out slowly after that, after what feels like hours but was really just maybe a couple minutes. She also stops crying eventually, and moves slightly, settling more comfortably into her as she sniffles softly.

"I'm really, really sorry" she repeats then, almost to herself "I never meant to hurt you. I'm an idiot"

That earns her a very short-lived tired laugh.

"You are" Regina agrees, voice rough from the whole ordeal, quieter than she probably means it to be "Now shush, my head hurts"

Emma immediately jumps "Do you want me to get you something?"

"No" Regina mumbles into her collarbones "I'm not letting you leave"

"But-"

"And we're talking about this later, you really were an asshole" she cuts her off, then adds "I didn't like it"

Emma laughs.

"Yeah, me neither"

Staying like that in the middle of the room isn't so comfortable though, so she slowly guides them towards the nearest seat, a small velvet loveseat where she drops and allows Regina to simply stay in her arms. They stay like that for a while, and eventually Regina's hand finds hers.

"I would never leave without telling you" she reassures her.

"You don't have to-"

"No, let me speak" she basically orders, very gently but still "I would never do that, and I need you to trust me"

Emma inhales shakily, tightening her grip on Regina's hand this time.

"I do" she says.

Regina comes up to look at her for the first time in a while. She decides to ignore her red, still teary brown eyes because she knows Regina wouldn't appreciate a comment on her current state.

"Do you?" she questions softly, tilting her head to the side, and Emma reaches for her again, feeling a sudden rush of relief when Regina leans into her touch.

"Yes" she nods almost frantically "I'm sorry I made you think otherwise. I swear I do"

She observes her for a beat, skeptical as ever, which Emma can't blame her for. She gave her quite a hard time for a while there after all. Then she drops her head into Emma's shoulder once again.

"Good" she whispers.

Not much happens after that. Regina just drops further into Emma like she can't fully let go yet. And Emma doesn't rush her, because this is not where she thought the night would go at all. When they started getting ready together, after putting on their dresses and leaving the safety of Regina's room. She never expected a fight to blow up at any point during the night, why would she? And she knows they'll talk about it again, just not tonight.

By the time everything fully quiets down she follows Regina outside, the same car that brought them to the gala waiting to take them away from it, as far as physically possible she hopes. And when Regina drops her off at her place she doesn't comment on it, space sounds kinda good.

She needs all the space she can get anyway, because she's sure now that she's falling for Regina. And she knows what she needs to do now that she has the most important bits and pieces of the puzzle.