Work Text:
“Nooo! Where has my Menchiii gone?!”
Violently cried Excel. Her tears flooded her apartment and washed out her recently caged alligators, a near-by homeless man, and Kōshi Rikudō.
Oh, hey OG author.
Hyatt puts her sweet tea down, “How unfortunate, our emergency food is gone. Do you remember where you last put her?”
Excel raised her head. She crossed her arms and the gears in her brain started rolling. She flash backed to the last time she was with Menchi. She remembered noticing Menchi looking so bored which prompted her to take her to the park for some fresh air.
“Maybe that’s where she is,” Hyatt commented.
“Oh I hope so! Im worried that she might be kidnapped!”
“We can go try to look for her. I’m sure she isn’t far away.”
“You’re right Hyatt! Let’s go forth and search to find our Menchi!” Excel stood up and pointed at the door with force and determination.
Hyatt and Excel made it to the park and started looking around, Excel was about to give up and cry when Hyatt bought her attention.
“Senior Excel, look at that,” she pointed towards something.
Excel turned and gasped, in the direction of where Hyatt pointed was a bunch of dogs covered in scars who were in the middle of training. Among them was Menchi in some sort of mascot costume. She was holding up signs with encouragement as she cries silently. Poor dog, never gets a break.
“I think it’s a a military dog fitness bootcamp, just look up at the banners,”
Excel looked up and saw banners tied up to trees, and written on it was the writing, Project Paws for Peace Through Pawerlifting.
“No wayy!! My poor Menchi’s got forcibly recruited in the army!”
Excel drags Hyatt to a near by store. Hyatt head felt dizzy just with all the walking.
“Okay Hyatt, we gotta save Menchi. I got an idea! I’ll dress up like a dog and distract them while you get Menchi out of there. And when she’s safe, I’ll run away from them!” Excel said with confidence.
“Yes, yes!! That’s a good idea. What do you think Hyatt?”
Hyatt wobbles but nods in agreement.
Excel gets dressed in a golden retriever dog suit and goes near the training dogs. She woofs and gets the attention of the shirtless German Shepherd in aviators. His enormous size and aura appears him to be the leader of the bootcamp.
Excel shivers in nervousness but she tries to hold her posture and barks. Her barks caught the German Shepherd and he barks back. He goes behind Excel and nuzzled his nose into Excels butt which makes her yelp.
“Damn mutt! I just want my Menchi back, not get my butt snuffed out!! I’ll destroy you when this is over!!! Agghh” she thinks internally.
The German Shepherd who introduces himself as Instructor Mutton says,
“You must’ve come here for the training camp! Let’s go, we just did our warm ups, we’re about to do yoga, so you’re not too late!”
Mutton drags Excel and forces her to do yoga with the other dogs. She sees Menchi quietly cheering on the training dogs.
“It’s okay Menchi, we will get you out of this boot camp!”
Hyatt comes out of a bush behind the training dogs and talks small steps towards Menchi. Excel notices and a waterfall of tears poured from her eyes. Excel, with happiness radiating from her eyes, does her squats faster and faster until her knees pop. She falls onto the ground and starts cursing which catches Mutton’s attention.
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah, Excel pooed her knees”
Excel watch’s in pain as Hyatt coughs and faints after few steps. She fell into the Downward Corpse Pose, this prompts other dogs around her to do the same.
“Nooo…Hyatt you were supposed to save Menchiii…”
“Hey, you! Stop that! I’m the instructor here, they do workouts I say!”
Yelled Instructor Mutton. He quickly ran to her and barked profusely, but in vain when he realized the woman didn’t move. With her new found opportunity, Excel slowly moved behind instructor Mutton and grabbed onto Menchi. Menchi was startled at first, but when she saw who it was her eyes went white.
“Eeghhh ghhht agghh” Menchi whimpered as she tried to escape Excel’s grips.
“Oh it’s okay Menchi, it’s me Excel, you’re safe now, we can go home!!”
Excel takes off her doggy hood to show it was her to Menchi. This only prompted Menchi to cry more. The struggles from Menchi caught the attention of Instructor Mutton, his eyes turned crimson and blew up in flames.
“First you try to teach my students now you try to take my mascot?! I will pawll your ribs out!”
Excel threw Menchi into her hoodie and runs towards Instructor Mutton in full speed. In turn, he roared and zoomed towards Excel. His eyes turned into blades as saliva dripped past his cheeks, everything in his peripheral vision faded into a blur. He ran closer and closer and closer and closer….
He bared his blunt like claws, ready to swing, when out of nowhere he felt pressure of someone’s foot on his head. His head smashed into the ground and his body scraped across it. Excel fell on her feet and turned.
“Stupid dog! You can never take my Menchi away!”
She spat. She quickly swung Hyatt over her shoulder and ran the hell out of there. Later that day Hyatt, Excel, and Menchi eat some dog treats which they were able to for $6 USD, thankfully it was edible to humans as well.
“Gosh Hyatt, these dog treats are surprisingly good. Who knew these would be a good broke people food.”
“No wonder dogs love these, it’s made to be good for humans. We can keep buying these when we get financially tight. And when we can’t even afford that….” she smiled slightly and turned to Menchi.
Menchi shivered knowing Hyatt was looking at her but kept her head down in her food bowl.
“That German Shepard was so weak! He trained so much and even had scars but still lost to one hit.”