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'How'd we get here' Was currently the question on everyone's mind as they sat in the hospital waiting room; waiting on the new that their friend Maya Matlin was going to be okay. Who was currently laying in a hospital getting her stomach pumped after attempting to take her life. This wasn't their Maya; Maya Matlin the sweet beautiful aspiring artist, she was happy, wasn't she? Sure she had anxiety attacks and for some reason was always worried and trying to save everyone. Everyone but herself apparently.
"We should've saw this coming" Grace said sniffling, holding Zoe's hands for comfort but all Grace wanted was her blonde best friend. "She deleted all her social media. She made that song. Not to mention the death photos"
"I told her to leave me alone today." Zig said not believing that once again his words to somebody else lead him back to this moment, only this time he said it to the single most important person in the world to him. He let Maya down again for the millionth time.
"I mean I knew she was sad but I didn't know she was capable of this" Grace spoke thinking of not just the last few months but everything that has happened over the course of their friendship. "But I just thought..Everyone gets sad sometimes', right?"
"I said that too but I know better than that." Zig said thinking of Freshmen year, Maya's first boyfriend and his rival; Campbell Saunders. "There's a lot of things Maya doesn't talk about. Things that neither us talk about really. She'll probably kill me for telling you guys but maybe by telling you about our Freshmen year might help the rest of you know why Maya is the way that she is. It all started with Campbell Saunders"
"Who?" Miles spoke for the first time. Like most people in the room Miles knew there was always something Maya had been holding back, something that would cause her to make vague comments when they were dating like when she told him that she 'Couldn't be with someone who scared her, not again' it never made sense but he never asked her about it.
"Maya's first boyfriend. He was on the hockey team with Dallas. I thought I hated him. I thought he had it all. Popularity, he had a bright future ahead of him but it was more that he had the most beautiful and coolest girl in all of Degrassi. At the time I didn't think he deserved her or even knew how lucky he was that she chose him." Zig scoffed realizing how wrong he was.
"Cam was living with a billet family to attend Degrassi, he was a long ways from home which made him home sick, With the Ice Hounds pressuring him, It made him hate Hockey. Maya tried to break him out of his shell, get him to have a life outside of hockey, but he kept holding back so at one point she broke up with him. It only lasted a day but within that day her and I kissed. she got back together with him. It all came to a boiling point after spring break, He and I got into it or rather he saw us talking and snapped. I thought for sure Maya wouldn't stay with someone that could snap like that. "
"But she did?" Tiny spoke. He felt a little out of place being here. He and Maya hadn't really talked since she broke up with Zig, he thought he was doing the right thing standing by his boy but still he should've tried to maintain a friendship with the blonde or even just checked in especially when Grace expressed concern but hadn't Blondie always been a tad dramatic?
"Yeah. I'm not sure on all the details though, Katie might. Anyway the next day I saw him waiting on the front steps at school and he made a dig at me and in retaliation said that if he cared about Maya at all that he would get out of her life forever" Zig's voice breaking knowing what was coming next. "He uh broke up with her by text before taking his life in the Green House."
No one really knew what to say to this, what could they say? Tiny placed a hand on Zig's shoulder.
"M..Maya she didn't take it well she was angry at him but also put on this act like she didn't care. That his death didn't affect her for a while it seemed like she was okay but eventually she started to crack. She got wasted at a party and made out with some creep. We got into screaming match, which ended with her throwing her cello in the dumpster and me getting it out knowing she'd regret it."
"So when Maya told me she couldn't be with someone that scared her again'. She was talking about him? And why she went a little crazy when we returned from Spring Break Sophomore year? It was the anniversary of his death. She feared I was going to do the same thing he did?." Miles asked, if he was being honest if things had gone a little differently last year it could've been him in that hospital bed.
"Yeah. She was projecting Cam onto you. I knew what it was really about and I shouldn't have let it get that far but I was afraid if I brought him up, it she'd break even further. She was never really the same after Cam" Zig should've saw that Maya's behavior all these years was linked to Cam. " I think she's always blamed herself for not being able to save him."
"Which makes her want to save all of us. So she doesn't lose anyone else." Grace says softly her voice was rough from crying.
"Exactly, She has it in her head that its her job to save the people she cares about. Losing anyone else would destroy her."
"That kind of pressure would make anyone break eventually." Jonah says. While he had been upset with his band mate for ditching them and hurting Grace, he knew it wasn't intentional.
"It's not even just Cam. Mental health issues run in the Matlin family. Katie had her own set of issues that Maya saw it all." Tristan finally spoke up. Like everyone else he felt like he failed her. He wasted so much time being mad at her for trying to protect him. He needed Maya to live, he had to make things right. Apologize for not being there in Sophomore year when she clearly wasn't okay. Tristan was upset with himself that he had been so wrapped up in the resentment he had for her and his relationship with Miles that he forgot about the anniversary of Campbell's death.
"If we had known all this earlier we really could've seen this coming. You guys should've told the rest of us about her past. Maybe we wouldn't be sitting here." Grace angrily glared at Zig and Tristan.
"We can't play the blame game here. We know now and that's what matters. It's our turn to be there for her. Okay? We'll make a schedule just like she did for me."Zoe said, trying to keep the peace because if she didn't already regret how she's treated Maya since they first met she certainly does now.
From the outside Maya seemed to have it all; An amazing mom, an adoring older sister, musically talented, She's beautiful without even trying and everyone seemed to love her.
Before anyone else could say anything the older Matlin sister walked into the waiting room, her eyes rimmed red and puffy just like the rest of them, rubbing her hands together.
Grace, Zoe and Zig stood up from the seats, the rest stayed where they were.
"She's going to make it." Katie said her voice shaky.
Grace who was not big on hugs threw her arms around her best friends older sister, as did Zoe. Everyone feeling that relief that their friend was going to be okay. "I mean she's been through some stuff and it'll take time but she'll get there. I hope you all will be there to see things through with her"
"We will." Grace said pulling away as she pulled Maya's guitar ring out of her pocket. "Tell Maya I said thanks but she'll still be needing that."
Katie nodded taking the ring and clenching it to her chest. They had a long road ahead of them and it won't be easy but Maya had a support system and friends that cared so much for her that made Katie believe for the first time since she returned home that her little sister would be okay. She had to be.