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It was another sunny day at the Vintage Salvage Depot for the Discriminating Nostalgist, as Denny Clay loved to call the scrapyard (and was quick to remind people the full name), and Sideswipe was bored out of his processor. He had nothing to do, except the chores Bee had assigned him, and he was most certainly not doing them.
As a matter of fact, the red sports car was busy hiding behind a stack of towers watching some human videos… mostly of large birds chasing human young- uh, kids- around their ‘backyards’. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight of the humans running from the birds who couldn’t even fly and seemed fat and harmless with all their feathers.
Watching them, Sideswipe got a delightfully wicked idea. It had been awhile since he’d pranked fixit, the small orange mini-con that did research at base, and it seemed fixit had had little time to study many earth creatures… especially ones he hadn’t come into contact with. It would be the perfect way to scare the little mini-con a bit, as a prank. No way a real rooster would ever come to the scrapyard anyway, right?
“Yo, Fixit,’ he called, grinning as he went to find the caretaker minicon. ‘I wanna show you something!” “Yes widestripe- mindwipe- Sideswipe?” Fixit asked, curious as to what exactly his friend and teammate had to show him.
Sideswipe’s grin only widened as he shoved the datapad under Fixit’s optics. “Check this out! Some human caught his big, mean rooster on camera going full psycho. Big solid white bird, charging the guy like a feathered tank! Roosters are apparently demons with feathers, bro. You ever see one of those running around out here?”
Fixit’s optics flickered wildly as the video played, a huge white rooster flapping and lunging at a screaming human. “That’s a White Plymouth Rock! Also known as Gallus gallus domesticus! And this is documented aggressive behavior in an avian? Oh dear… This is not ideal!”
Sideswipe just laughed and said. “You’ll be fine. Probably.” Before walking off to continue his day long plan of slacking. Not like any harm could be done from this prank!
Meanwhile, fixit was getting paranoid. He knew the Clays didn’t have any chickens, certainly not any roosters, so logically he should be safe, but he suddenly didn’t like being alone. As he rolled around the junkyard he heard something that made his plating crawl. ‘Buck. Buck-buck. Bwak.’
Fixit turned to look behind him, only to see… the enormous silhouette of a huge rooster! And the sound he heard next could only be described as a squeaky toy being strangled to death as the creature gave out a terrifying crow! “AHHHHHHHHH!” Fixit screamed as he wheeled away as swiftly as he could. But the noise followed, more excited this time, ‘Buck-buck-buck-buck-buck- bugawk!!’ The creature said as it followed after him.
“G-get away from me! Shoo!” Fixit cried at the shadow as he attempted his escape, but the huge avian shadow just got closer. ‘Bawkbawkbuckbugawk!’ It exclaimed even louder.
Fixit was too scared to do anything but wheel away and watch the monster of a rooster’s shadow chase him, as he turned a corner, SLAM! He bumped right into Bumblebee.
“Lieutenant Bumblebee!” The poor orange mini-con exclaimed in relief. “Thank goodness! There’s been an intruder in the scrapyard!”
Bumblebee looked surprised. “Intruder?” He questioned, “like a decepticon?” “N-no sir!” Fixit exclaimed, “a huge, aggressive Gallus gallus domesticus! It’s been chasing me though the scrapyard!”
Bee looked intently at the terrorized orange mini-con. “Don’t worry fixit,” he said calmly. “I’ll take care of it.” Just then, from behind a pile of scrap came the crow again. That crow that sounded like a rubber chicken was being mauled by a swarm of scraplets, ‘ah-AH-ahAHHHHHHHH!’ The rooster cried. Fixit ducked behind bumblebee. Bumblebee tensed up, ready to confront this aggressive rooster.
Then, Fixit watched, first in horror, then confusion, as what came from behind the scrap pile was… a living cotton ball of a rooster. It was small, no larger than a soccer ball, perhaps even smaller. The white fluff on its head seemed to cover its eyes, making it hard for the creature to see. It strutted forward, tilted its head, flapped its wings and- ‘ah-AH-ahAHHHHHHHH!’
Bee looked perplexed at first, then broke into a laugh “fixit, buddy,” he gasped through his chuckles and the bird approached. “That’s your savage rooster?”
“He was racing-basing-chasing! Me all day lieutenant!” Fixit exclaimed as the white puff ball strutted over to him, flapped his wings…. And proceeded to perch on one of fixit’s wheels to preen itself, making content hurgles all the while.
Fixit finally worked up the nerve to pick it up, it was soft as a cloud and- well- just as harmless. “Let’s take it to Denny and Russel” bee said. “Maybe they know how this little guy got here.”
Denny and Russel had been working on repairing one of Denny’s ‘collectibles’ that either Grimlock knocked over or a ‘con got a hold of. Both humans looked surprised at the small rooster in Fixit’s servos.
“Well what’s this little fella doing here?” Denny exclaimed in surprise. “We were hoping you could tell us,” bee chuckled. “Little guy has apparently been terrorizing fixit by following him around all day. Do you know who could have lost him?”
Russel looked upset as he stroked the happy little rooster’s head. “Probably nobody. Little guy looks dirty, someone probably ditched him. Roosters don’t lay eggs and are noisy so people often dump them.”
“B-but,” fixit stammered. “He’s gentle! And he’s not so bad for a rooster. Why would anyone want to abandon him aren’t there statuaries-sanitaries-sanctuaries!” “Yeah,” Russel said, but some people don’t care. If it doesn’t give them something of value, it’s no good.”
“Cheer up Russel,” Denny said as he ruffled his son’s hair. “We’ll get Kevin here comfortable and start looking for a good forever home for him.” “Kevin?” Bee asked in confusion.
“Yeah,” Denny beamed. “The little guy is just screaming the name Kevin.” Fixit looked at the little feather duster of a rooster, sure enough, it did look like its designation could be ‘Kevin’ as well as anything else.
“Very well,” fixit agreed cautiously. “And in the meantime, I will study Kevin and see how he differs from… others of his species.” “That’s the spirit!” Denny crowed as fixit gave in and petted the fluffy rooster himself. “Just wait and see, you’ll be sorry when he leaves.” Fixit smiled, perhaps Denny was right.