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Madara was too tired to deal with this bullshit. Frankly, he was regretting ever accepting taking responsibility for overseeing ANBU ever since Hashirama came up to him as told him there was too much on his plate and that, since they had a dual leadership, he thought Madara could deal with the dirty part of their shinobi work better than himself.
Indeed, he had no qualms about sending shinobi to die and had done it too many times since becoming clan head after his father. But nothing would ever prepare him for dealing with this.
Oh, he could deal with a lot. Telling the horrible news to the family, looking straight into another’s eyes and telling them he was sending them to die, accepting morally questionable missions…the list went on and on.
He learned over time to never lose sleep about it. To not let it bother him.
Now, dealing with Izuna and Tobirama…
That wasn’t something he had subscribed for. Ever.
Those two had always been at each other’s throats since infancy because of the war between their clans. They had peace now, true, but it didn’t change the fact that this animosity had nowhere violent to go and, with their positions as captains of their own squads, it ended up turning into a strange rivalry over the months.
A rivalry that consumed Madara - without him ever having anything to do with it in the first place!!
He couldn’t stand them anymore. Yes, yes, Izuna was his precious otouto but Madara had enough of him whining for better missions, complaining his ears off because something the Senju had done, Tobirama this and Tobirama that, and why couldn’t Madara just handle the most difficult missions to his team? It’s not like the Senju has what’s required to do them and-
So he’s had enough and if he doesn’t do something about it, he knows he’s going to just-
He doesn’t know what he is capable of with those two nagging his patience.
After some hours of delicate thinking over his situation, Madara decided to come up with a plan. A simple one. Perhaps, the simple things in life could help solve this and relieve him of this nightmare that is this rivalry.
-.-
“Only me?” Tobirama asked - or rather, Cat asked.
“Yes. Discretion is the rule here. We can’t have them connect this assassination with us in any way.”
“Alright.”
“Since the target is just one person, although very well guarded, I thought about sending only you to do it,” Madara explained, “your team could use a respite and I was thinking about sending them on a regular mission while you’re away.”
Cat just nodded again.
“You’re expected to leave tomorrow at first light. Take however long you need. As I’m sure you noticed, it’s a difficult mission and we don’t want any mistakes.”
He feels how insulted Tobirama is at the idea of a simple assassination being more than he could handle but luckily, the Senju didn’t complain out loud.
“Should I make it seem like an accident or blame someone else for it?”
“Make it seem like an accident.”
“Consider it done.” Cat says, bowing and disappearing in a flash.
Well, now to his other trouble. Madara can only hope that Crow will accept the mission too.
-.-
Tobirama stared at the innkeeper in disbelief when she told them there was only one room left to rent for a couple of days.
It shouldn’t be a problem if Izuna wasn’t there and worse, insisting that this mission - his mission, it had been assigned only to him, he’s sure of that - was also his. He doesn’t believe him, not even for a second, since Madara wasn’t the type of a man to be careless with how he distributed the ANBU assignments.
But here they are and there’s nothing else to be done about it until they return to Konoha and demand an explanation. Unfortunately, that leaves them both with an assassination to orchestrate and execute.
The problem is they can’t stand each other. Never have and never will.
On top of that, as they enter the only room left to spend the night, there’s only one bed.
It’s a large bed, enough for a couple to lay down comfortably - but that’s the problem. They’re not a couple.
How is Tobirama going to survive if he can’t sleep during his mission? How can he sleep if Izuna is there, laying close enough for him to feel his breath? Tobirama hates him. He bets that the Uchiha has no concept of personal space, that he’s messy and to make matters worse, he’s extremely annoying and manages to get on his nerves without even trying.
How are they supposed to complete the mission without ending up killing each other instead?
-.-
“Could you stop?” Tobirama asks, irritated.
“Stop what?” Is asked in return, but he knows Izuna is smirking even as he pretends to not know what Tobirama is talking about.
“Making that noise,” he says. “Some of us are trying to write a report.”
“Sure.”
He doesn’t stop.
Of course he doesn’t. Why would Tobirama ever think he would be a good roommate? Oh, that’s right, he didn’t. He knew, from the beginning, that insisting on completing this mission alongside Izuna meant trouble for him.
Tobirama ignores him. Izuna keeps making noise for the rest of the night.
-.-
“I say we should kill him during the festival,” Izuna argues back, “no one will blame anything else but the alcohol if lord Takeshi makes a drunk mistake and falls the stairs on his home.”
“It’s too soon,” he insists.
“We’ve been here for three days already.”
“We need more time. Caution is-”
“Is advised and we can’t make any more mistakes, bla bla bla-”
“Are you actually a child? This is serious, Izuna! One mistake and they can accuse Konoha of treason-”
“We’re not being sloppy. Well, I am not, you, on the other hand-”
“Are you insinuating something, Uchiha?”
“Why, my dear Senju, I’m just saying that an Uchiha like me would never do anything so childish as commit a mistake during an assassination.”
Tobirama has to take a moment to breathe. Izuna has a way to unbalance him that leaves him mad.
-.-
“You almost screwed everything! That’s why I told you we needed more time!”
“It wouldn’t have happened if you had just let me-”
“Let you do what, Izuna? Kill him with witnesses? You’re lucky I was there to pretend to be with you or else-”
“Or else what?”
“Konoha would be paying for it.” Tobirama says, darkly, his anger off the charts. “You’re careless and sloppy. You almost-”
He stops, forcing himself to breathe before he snaps and jumps on Izuna and ends up doing something that will earn him exile. Like killing him.
It doesn’t work, Izuna’s eyes bleed red and suddenly on edge, Tobirama braces himself for a fight only for-
Lips crashing on his own.
Tobirama barely has time to process that before his body has decided to move on its own accord, kissing Izuna back with just as much hate and frustration. It’s bruising and demanding and they’re rolling to the bed to assert dominance…
-.-
“I think I wouldn’t mind a repeat of that,” Izuna says, breathless.
He’s covered in hickies and flushed. Before, Tobirama would never dare to admit he’s handsome but now…well, it’s difficult to not think him beautiful, especially when he is like this because of him.
“That depends,” Tobirama tells him, out of breath too, “if you’re going to stop being annoying on missions.”
“And lose all this fire?” Izuna challenges. “As if. Who knew you had all this fire in you, Senju.”
Tobirama rolls his eyes.
It seems that Izuna won’t ever not be annoying but at least, if it ends like this for them, then he could get used to it.
-.-
The end.