Work Text:
hū ka pele: to overflow, bubble over, roar; an exclamation used to announce active volcanic eruptions. roughly translates to "lava pours forth" or "the volcano erupts."
❀❀❀❀❀
"I've always wanted to go sky diving."
It's an hour past midnight on the first day of the new year when Euijoo makes the admission. Sky diving is something he's mentioned in passing before, but always as a hypothetical bucket list sort of thing. A faraway wish, a pipe dream. But when he says it this time, there's more intention behind it.
Euijoo's decided to try that out this year: intention.
"I really want to go sky diving," he repeats, nodding up at the ceiling with conviction. He's lying on the carpeted floor of their Tokyo dorm, pleasantly tipsy on whatever cheap champagne Nicholas had brought home earlier.
It isn't anything special, but it's enough to soften the jagged edges of Euijoo's too-busy brain. He had needed that tonight, for sure. It's the official start of their company mandated break and yet for whatever reason, he can't seem to relax. Nicholas had picked up on this immediately, and promptly dragged Euijoo to the living room for drinks.
"To celebrate another year together," he said.
Somehow, Nicholas always seems to know what Euijoo needs.
Speaking of Nicholas—he's sprawled out a few feet away from Euijoo. The other members are all either out of town visiting family, or they've gone to sleep already. Euijoo would probably be asleep himself if it weren't for Nicholas. (He'd probably be a lot of things if it weren't for Nicholas: more lonely; less brave; maybe dating that nice trainee girl who had a crush on him a few years back. Or maybe he wouldn't be an idol at all. Who knows.)
"We should go!" Nicholas exclaims. "This year I wanna try a bunch of new things. Challenge myself, or whatever. Where do you even go sky diving, anyway? Hold up, I'm gonna ask Siri."
Nicholas always talks so fast. Before Euijoo can even respond, Nico is flinging his arms out to feel around for his phone, accidentally smacking Euijoo in the face in the process.
"Ow! Watch it."
"Sorry!" Nicholas laughs a little, but he reaches out to casually smooth over the red skin with his thumb, anyway.
While Nico fires rapid English into his phone, Euijoo thinks about intention again. Or maybe a better word for it would be resolve? Euijoo doesn't really ascribe to the tradition of New Year's Resolutions—they never seem to last more than a few weeks, in his experience. But maybe he's been thinking about it all wrong. Maybe he just hasn't had the right resolutions.
Nicholas says he wants to challenge himself to new experiences. What does Euijoo want to do?
"I think I wanna live the next year with no regrets," Euijoo says to the ceiling. "Be more…free. I dunno."
The idea of reaching for freedom sounds better to him than "work out twice a week" or any of the other arbitrary goals he's had in the past. Euijoo figures that if he gives himself a philosophy to follow rather than a set list of tasks, maybe he'll actually stick with it. It sounds good in theory, anyway.
In his periphery, he sees Nicholas grin.
"Yeah?" he chuckles. "I like that. You could definitely stand to loosen up a bit. Looks like we can go skydiving in plenty of places, by the way, but check this out! There's a flight to Hawaii that leaves tomorrow that still has seats left."
Nicholas is shoving his phone in Euijoo's face faster than he can even process the words.
"What?"
"Hawaii! Let's go!"
Euijoo takes Nico's phone in his hand and sits up to look at it properly. Sure enough, there on the screen are details for a flight from Tokyo to Honolulu that departs the next morning. Nicholas has already put two tickets in his cart.
"You're crazy," Euijoo laughs in disbelief. "We can't just go to Hawaii."
"Sure we can!" Nicholas takes his phone back before Euijoo can see the price of the tickets, but he's sure they're not cheap. "We're on break. You're not doing anything; I'm not doing anything. You just said you want to live more freely, right? What's more free than a vacation to Hawaii?"
Euijoo did indeed say that, but he wasn't expecting to get started on it so soon. He's not ready! He's not mentally prepared!
"Well, yeah, but–"
"Come on, Juju. It'll be fun! I can picture it already: just you, me, and a bunch of palm trees," Nico pleads. "We can even go sky diving! I'll book it right now; swear."
Euijoo wants to say no. He wants to remind Nicholas that they only have a few days; that plane tickets to Hawaii are absurdly expensive and that they aren't prepared for a spontaneous trip at all.
But he's looking at him with the most hopeful glimmer in his eye, and Euijoo is weak. Nico's so excited by the prospect of going on a vacation together, and the earnestness with which he pleads makes Euijoo's heart clench in his chest. He gets the feeling that he'll regret it for the rest of his life if he disappoints Nicholas now. And he does want to live the new year with no regrets. He said so not even five minutes ago.
Euijoo hates the idea of going against his resolution only five minutes after setting it.
He inhales sharply.
"Yeah, okay."
❀❀❀❀❀
Nicholas is terrible at packing, and Euijoo has to enlist Fuma to help keep him on track before he pulls all of his hair out in frustration, but they manage to make it to their flight on time. Euijoo is a ball of nervous energy the whole way there. He tries to read a book on the plane, but his mind doesn't seem to want to focus. Even the in-flight movies aren't enough to distract him from the misplaced anxiety sweeping over him.
(He really doesn't know what that's about. They fly all the time; he has no reason to be nervous. But his heart rate has been unusually high since this morning. Perhaps it's the coffee he chugged on the way to the airport?)
In the seat beside him, Nicholas is fast asleep, because of course he is. He looks kind of stupid with his mouth wide open and head hanging forward at a near 90 degree angle. Euijoo rolls his eyes. That's going to hurt tomorrow. He sighs and gently tilts Nicholas's chin up so that he can place a pillow around his neck. There, much better.
Nicholas shifts a little in his sleep, but he doesn't wake up. Euijoo does his best to get some rest as well, but he only manages to doze in and out. When he next checks on Nicholas, Euijoo is both horrified and endeared to find that he has effectively drooled all over his favorite neck pillow.
Euijoo huffs out a quiet laugh. Without thinking, he reaches up to wipe at the corner of Nicholas's mouth with the back of his hand. His skin comes away slick and shiny with drool.
"Gross," Euijoo whispers, wiping the spit onto his pants, though there's an undeniably fond smile on his face as he does so. Next time he'll have to pack them some sleeping tape or something. He doesn't want Nicholas's throat to get too dry—it'll make singing much more difficult when they get back to work.
Nicholas finally rouses awake as they land, completely oblivious to the passage of time. Euijoo wishes he could say the same for himself. It was a long flight.
By the time they're in a car to their hotel, Nicholas has fully flipped from grumpy-toddler-at-nap-time to gleeful-toddler-with-their-favorite-toy.
"Juju, look!" He swats at Euijoo's arm and points out the window. "It's a volcano!"
Euijoo follows Nicholas's gaze and sees an imposing mountain looming in the distance. Their driver happens to speak Japanese, and tells them that it's the famous Diamond Head Crater. Or Lē'ahi, as the natives call it. Euijoo thinks he's seen it on postcards before.
"A crater of the Ko'olau volcano," the driver explains. "It was once a spiritual site of worship for our people before the U.S. government turned it into a military base."
"Wow…"
Nicholas presses his nose to the window like a little kid on his first field trip. He asks the driver countless questions about the crater's history, and gets an enthusiastic response to each one. Euijoo regards both Nicholas's excitement and the miraculous feat of nature before them with quiet reverence. It really is incredible.
They aren't nearly close enough to see if there's any real volcanic activity, but Euijoo thinks he can feel the burn of lava all the same. Underneath his skin, something restless and warm is bubbling to the surface.
❀❀❀❀❀
The resort that they're staying at is beautiful. Euijoo's never seen anything quite like it before, and he can't help but ooh and ahh at each new room fixture they discover. Nicholas makes fun of him for getting excited about the heated tile floors in the bathroom, but Euijoo doesn't care. He can tell he thinks it's cute, anyway.
They don't have any concrete plans for their first night, since they figured they'd be tired and jet-lagged from traveling. And they are—they spend most of the evening lounging around in their shared hotel room, flipping through the free TV channels and scrolling on their phones.
Of course, Nicholas gets bored anyway.
"Jujuuuuuu," he whines. He's rolling around on the king sized bed they'll be sharing, where Euijoo is trying to take a nap—but Nico doesn't seem to care. "Come on, let's do something! We're in Hawaii!"
Euijoo pulls a pillow over his head with a groan. Nicholas rolls right into his side, and Euijoo pushes him back with a petulant jab of his elbow. He squeaks in protest, but he doesn't stop wriggling around like a worm.
"Nicholas, I'm literally going to kill you. Go do something by yourself if you're that bored."
"Murder is still illegal in Hawaii, Juju," Nicholas says. Euijoo wants to strangle him. "I don't want to do something by myself! I came here with you, so I want to do things with you."
Euijoo tries to ignore the way this makes his gut flutter with butterflies. He's not very successful.
"We will do things together. Tomorrow," he tries again.
Nicholas lets out the world's most dramatic sigh. "We've already got a full roster of activities tomorrow! I mean I want to spend some chill time with you," he whines. "Catch up. Play a game or something, I don't know. It's been a while since we just sort of…hung out."
Euijoo hesitates. It's true—besides the hour of drinking that led to this trip in the first place, they haven't really had any one-on-one time lately. Not that their time with the other members is any less valuable; it's just different. Nicholas is Euijoo's best friend. He's one of the only people in the world he can fully relax around, one of the only people who doesn't make him feel pressured (whether directly or indirectly) to act or speak or look a certain way. Nicholas's company is a safe space in which Euijoo feels like he can be his real self. Not &TEAM's leader EJ; not his parents' son, Byun Euijoo—just Euijoo. Euijoo and Yixiang. Juju and Nico. Yin and yang.
They've got the next three days ahead of them, but most of it will be spent in public. Euijoo doesn't know how much time he'll actually have to just…be with Nicholas.
"If you go to sleep now, you're going to be jet-lagged the entire trip," Nicholas points out, smug.
Euijoo sighs.
"...fine," he grumbles, dragging himself back into a sitting position. "But I don't want to go anywhere. We can hang out here."
Nicholas lets out a triumphant whoop. He rolls into Euijoo's side again, this time pressing his face against his torso and wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug.
"Let's order room service!" he cheers into the fabric of Euijoo's shirt. "You need to eat something. You haven't eaten since the in-flight meal almost six hours ago."
Euijoo checks the time on his phone and realizes that Nicholas is right. It's only the early afternoon in Tokyo right now, but it's around dinner time in Honolulu—and unlike Nicholas, Euijoo didn't really sleep on the plane. Crossing the international date line has messed with his body's perception of time. He didn't have a proper lunch. He'd sort of forgotten about dinner, too, to be honest.
As if to mock him, Euijoo's stomach growls. Nicholas laughs and pokes him in the side before extricating himself to grab the room service menu.
"Oh hell yes, they have fried chicken!"
"We're in Hawaii and you want to have fried chicken?" Euijoo scoffs. "You eat that every day!"
They bicker for a while about what to eat. In the end, they order a little bit of everything that the hotel has to offer. The food comes quickly, and Euijoo carefully lays it all out before them on the bed while Nicholas searches for something fun for them to watch.
Nicholas always talks during movies. Even if he's seen it before, he can never seem to keep his mouth shut for more than a few minutes. This is notoriously annoying to the other members, but Euijoo doesn't mind. He likes listening to Nicholas's thoughts and theories. He's only right about half the time, but it's entertaining nonetheless.
Euijoo is so used to it that sometimes, when he's watching something alone or with someone else, he'll find himself wondering what Nicholas might think. Would he be frustrated with this character, or that character? Would he have some elaborate conspiracy theory about the side plot? What kinds of questions would he ask about the protagonist's motivations? Euijoo never really realized there were so many different ways to engage with media until he started consuming it with Nicholas. He's found that he actually enjoys watching things more, now.
Nicholas always talks during movies, so it is glaringly obvious when he falls asleep halfway through their second romcom. Euijoo knows he should be angry, especially since Nicholas literally disrupted his nap for this—but he's not. He's mildly annoyed for all of two seconds before an all-too-familiar fondness begins to settle, warm and heavy in his chest.
Euijoo rolls his eyes and shuts the television off. He puts their leftover food away as quietly as possible, then begins his usual nighttime routine of brushing his teeth and washing his face.
When he's finally ready to climb back into bed, he finds Nicholas already all tucked in. He must have woken to Euijoo's rustling and adjusted before falling back asleep, because his clothes have been thrown haphazardly on the floor and he's now snug underneath the covers. Euijoo sighs. He'll yell at him for not brushing his teeth tomorrow.
It's a relatively normal hour to end the day by the time Euijoo falls asleep. When he wakes in the morning, any and all traces of jet-lag have gone.
❀❀❀❀❀
Despite getting an ample amount of sleep the day before, Nicholas has to be dragged out of bed the next morning.
"Come on, Nichol. Get up. What happened to wanting to do things together?"
Luckily, Nicholas only has to be reminded of their plans for the day once in order to get his second wind. He's clearly still sleepy as he robotically goes through his morning routine, but he's awake. Euijoo knows he'll perk up soon. He always does.
Sure enough, a few hours later and he's back to his usual (annoying, charming) self.
"You kicked me, like, six times last night," Nicholas complains as they walk through the aquarium. They'd tried snorkeling that morning, and they're booked for a short guided hike after lunch. Euijoo is already tired, but the adrenaline and excitement of their first full day has kept him going. That, and Nicholas's smile. Not that he'd admit that out loud.
"Well, you hogged all the blankets," Euijoo retaliates with a scoff.
Nicholas gasps. He stops to stare at a particularly luminescent jellyfish with a contemplative frown on his face.
"It's not my fault I run cold at night! Do you want me to freeze, Juju?" he accuses. "It's not like you need blankets, anyway. You're always burning up like a furnace."
This is true, but Euijoo doesn't care. It's about the principle.
"You're so dramatic," he sighs. "You won't freeze; we're in the tropics. Put some pajamas on if you're really that cold."
Nicholas has always slept in his underwear. Euijoo knows this, and he doesn't care. He doesn't. He's seen Nicholas in various states of undress over their five years of friendship, even naked. It's fine. He's used to averting his eyes and pretending he doesn't feel anything. He's practically an expert at it by now.
But Euijoo hadn't thought about what it would mean to share a bed with him—just the two of them, alone. They've done it before, of course, but that was always for work. Even if it's fundamentally the same thing, this feels different somehow.
More charged. More intimate.
Maybe it's just Euijoo making a big deal out of nothing. Nicholas was the one to book the room, and Euijoo didn't think anything of it at the time.
"It's cheaper," Nicholas had explained. "A king bed is plenty big enough for both of us." It made perfect sense to Euijoo, so he didn't protest.
Now, he sort of wishes he had.
"Whatever. You suck at staying on your side of the bed," Nicholas gripes some more, seemingly oblivious to Euijoo's internal struggle. He snorts out a laugh. "You know, if you want to cuddle with me that badly, all you have to do is ask."
He's trying to piss him off on purpose. Euijoo knows he is, but he can't help but rise to the bait, anyway.
"Why would I want to cuddle someone who didn't brush his teeth after dinner? Your morning breath probably stinks," he snaps back.
"Last night was an outlier," Nicholas shrugs. "Besides, it's cuddling, not kissing." He raises a brow, then wiggles it suggestively. "Unless…?"
Euijoo blushes and shoves Nicholas's shoulder so hard that he almost knocks over a display of informational brochures. A security officer glares at them, which is extremely mortifying, but the delighted sound of Nico's laughter drowns out any and all of Euijoo's shame.
Miraculously, they make it through the rest of the aquarium without any other incidents. But Euijoo's cheeks are bright red for the rest of the day—and when asked, he attributes it to the hike, the sun, and the spicy sushi they had for lunch.
Whether out of trust or kindness, Nicholas doesn't question any of his excuses. Euijoo figures he probably knows the truth, anyway.
❀❀❀❀❀
Euijoo wasn't prepared for how romantic Hawaii was going to be. He knew it was a popular vacation destination, particularly for honeymooners—but he didn't realize exactly what that would entail until they were already knee-deep.
All of the activities Nicholas wants to do are geared towards couples and families. The most obvious example is a sunset dinner cruise along the coast. Nicholas had described it as a boat tour with a meal, and well…he's not wrong. But it's so much more than that.
The Honolulu skyline is streaked with bright oranges, pinks, and reds. Around them, other patrons in nice dresses and collared shirts laugh and make toasts. A live band plays music in the background, and some of the livelier (read: more drunk) cruise-goers jump up to dance.
The atmosphere is vibrant yet relaxed. Nicholas is radiant where he sits across from Euijoo, sipping his wine and looking out at the water. His windswept hair is haloed by the glow of the setting sun—the perfect caricature of an angel. At one point they see a dolphin ("It's your cousin, Juju!") and Nicholas gets the Ponyo theme song stuck in his head for the rest of the night. The food they order is phenomenal; the service is phenomenal; the smile on Nicholas's face is something even more than phenomenal.
It feels like a date. Euijoo has to keep reminding himself that it's not one, even though their waitress seems to think otherwise. She says something to them in English that Euijoo doesn't fully understand, but he thinks he hears the phrase cute couple, and is proven correct when a flustered Nicholas waves his hands in protest. Euijoo is just tipsy enough to find it funny instead of embarrassing. He giggles and pokes at the red flush of Nicholas's cheek, teasing. The glare he gets in return only makes him laugh harder.
After the boat docks and their bellies are full, they walk along the beach. The sun has fully set and the moon has taken her place, bright and nearly full. Most tourists have retreated back to their hotels by now, leaving the beach relatively empty. It's peaceful. Euijoo feels every muscle in his body relax as he breathes in the sea breeze and listens to the rhythmic sound of waves lapping at the shore.
"This reminds me of when we used to walk along the Han River at night as trainees," Nicholas remarks. "Remember?" The sand seems to stretch out endlessly around them, but they walk close enough together that their shoulders bump every few seconds. Euijoo's hand twitches at his side.
"Of course I remember," he laughs. "Those nights were really my saving grace back then. I don't know if I would have made it this far without them."
"And to think that at first you didn't want to break curfew!" Nico grins and nudges Euijoo playfully in the side. "Aren't you glad I dragged you along?"
"Yeah," Euijoo admits, all too sincere. "I really am."
It's what Euijoo admires about Nicholas most: the way he marches resolutely forward, no matter how uncertain or scared he may be. Euijoo would consider himself an ambitious person—you kind of have to be to become an idol—but he's calculated in his ambition, always closely following the path he set for himself. Nicholas's path, on the other hand, is less of an imperative and more of a vantage point. The seldom tread hiking-trail to Euijoo's carefully laid concrete. Nicholas doesn't let opportunities pass him by like Euijoo might; he takes what comes to him and adjusts accordingly. Euijoo has always had a hard time adjusting. Having Nicholas by his side makes it easier.
"Thanks for coming here with me," Nicholas says after a stretch of silence. His voice has dipped into something quieter, more serious. Euijoo listens attentively. "I'm really happy that I get to start off the new year with you."
Euijoo's heart does a billion backflips in his chest. He takes a deep, steadying breath.
"Me too, Nichol."
Nicholas looks up at Euijoo with wide, watery eyes. He's still a little drunk—they both are—but Euijoo knows he means what he's saying. He always does.
"You're my favorite person in the world, Juju," Nicholas says, so earnest it makes Euijoo's chest burn. Or maybe that's the alcohol—either way, he sort of feels like throwing up.
All Euijoo can do is repeat himself.
"Me too, Nichol."
Nicholas's eyes soften. He takes Euijoo's hand in his and laces their fingers together—the very action Euijoo has been trying to resist doing for the past two hours. (For the past five years, really, if he thinks about it. Damn.)
Euijoo gives Nicholas's hand a reassuring squeeze. He can feel his own pulse thrumming in his fingertips; he wonders if Nico can feel it, too.
They hold hands all the way back to the hotel, only separating out of necessity to get ready for bed. And when it's time to sleep, Nicholas latches onto Euijoo's side and doesn't let go.
❀❀❀❀❀
Initially, Euijoo thought vacationing with Nicholas might be sort of hard. Not unenjoyable, just…challenging. Nicholas is the spontaneous type, while Euijoo prefers to plan ahead. Nicholas wants to fill every hour of every day with activities, while Euijoo is perfectly content just sitting at the pool or the beach. Nicholas wants to take photos and film vlogs for the fans, while Euijoo would really rather keep those things private.
But in spite of all this, the past few days haven't been hard at all. They've managed to find a nice balance between going out and resting at the hotel: sightseeing in the mornings, shopping in the afternoons, lounging in the evenings. Euijoo has enjoyed everything Nicholas has picked out for them to do so far, and he doesn't feel run ragged yet. He considers that a success.
The one activity Euijoo had chosen himself was sky diving. It was his whole reason for wanting to come here, after all—so he's more than a little bummed when the gloomy weather ruins their plans.
"I'm sorry, Juju," Nicholas says. "I know you really wanted to go. I did, too."
Euijoo lets out a sad little laugh from where he lies splayed out on the bed. The weather report on his phone says it'll be windy and raining for the foreseeable future. He tosses it to the side.
"No you didn't," he laments with a sigh. "I bet you're secretly glad it didn't work out. Don't act like I wasn't there for the bungee jumping. I know you hated it."
"I still went, didn't I?"
"I guess."
"I did! And I don't regret it," Nicholas insists. "Even if I almost pissed my pants, it was a valuable experience for me. I think we all need to do things we're uncomfortable with every once in a while."
Euijoo's lips quirk a little. "You almost pissed your pants?"
"That's beside the point!" Nicholas protests, flustered. "But seriously. Was I scared? Fuck yeah. But I still wanted to do this for you. With you."
Euijoo's heart leaps in his chest at the sheer sincerity of it all. Not that Nicholas is ever insincere, but…this means something, doesn't it? Nicholas hates the sensation of falling, and yet he is willing to endure it for Euijoo's sake. Wants to endure it, even. Wants to literally jump out of a plane to ensure that Euijoo is happy.
As if Euijoo could ever be unhappy with Nicholas around.
A visceral yearning hits him square in the chest, abruptly knocking all of the oxygen from his lungs.
"Yixiang," Euijoo exhales, quiet and soft.
They're both surprised when Euijoo presses closer into Nicholas's side, wraps his arms around him, and nuzzles into the crook of his neck.
"Eeh?" Nicholas lets out a startled noise somewhere between a squeak and a hum. Despite his clear shock, he doesn't hesitate to return the hug. Nicholas carefully cradles Euijoo's head with one hand and tugs him closer by the waist with the other. Euijoo's chest aches with longing.
"Just…thank you," he mumbles, his breath slow and uneven where it fans against Nico's skin. "For being here, and…for being you."
Euijoo presses his fingers into Nicholas's hips in what he hopes is a quiet confession. Of what, he's not exactly sure—but he needs Nico to know that he's here; that this is real.
Nicholas returns the gesture with a gentle kiss to the crown of Euijoo's head.
"Of course, Juju," he says. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."
They fall asleep curled together like that, still in their daytime clothes. When Euijoo stirs awake at 3:30 in the morning, he checks the weather report again, just in case.
Still gloomy. He sets his alarm back a few hours; might as well sleep in, then. After pulling off his jeans, he slides back into bed next to Nicholas.
The next day is peaceful and quiet. They don't get to go sky diving, but it's okay. Euijoo feels like he's falling, anyway.
❀❀❀❀❀
The weather doesn't let up. Their flight back to Tokyo is cancelled, and they're told they have to wait for the storm to pass before they can leave. It may be a few days; it may be a week. There's no way to know except to wait it out.
Normally, something unexpected like this would have sent Euijoo into an anxiety spiral. And it almost does, but then he remembers that 2026 is going to be the year he lives more freely. So what if they're stuck here for a few extra days? There's nothing he can do about the situation, so he might as well make the best of it.
Truthfully, Euijoo is grateful for the extra time. The last few days with Nicholas have been so wonderful. He doesn't want to admit it out loud, but he'd sort of been dreading having to go back.
They aren't able to do anything too crazy due to the rain, but they manage to get some last minute tourist activities in. Nicholas drags Euijoo back to the Ala Moana shopping center, claiming that he didn't get a chance to browse all the stores yet. And Euijoo doesn't doubt that—the mall is so huge that they easily spend an entire day there.
Euijoo lets Nicholas pick out clothes for him to try on, more than willing to be his little doll for a few hours if it keeps him entertained and happy. And he only complains once when Nicholas insists on buying him an outfit, which is a new record. He makes up for it by paying for their lunch at the food court. Once Nico's had his fill of shopping, they pick up some souvenirs for the rest of the members, then head back to the hotel to crash for the night.
The last full day of vacation sneaks up on them.
The weather eventually lets up enough that they're able to book a return flight to Tokyo. Just two days after they were originally supposed to be home—though it hardly felt like any extra time at all. In the morning, Euijoo and Nicholas will check out of their hotel. They'll return to the dorms the next day, and just like that, the break will be over.
Euijoo wonders if Nicholas is feeling the same sort of melancholy as he is. The selfish, lovesick part of him sort of hopes so. The kinder, more rational part wants Nicholas to always be happy no matter what.
There's no real way for him to know how Nicholas is feeling, so for now, Euijoo sits with it. He watches quietly as Nico collects shells from the beach, even though he knows they'll likely end up lost and forgotten somewhere in the dorm once they get back. He snaps photos with his new camera while Nico chats happily with the locals, even though he can't understand a word they're saying. He laughs when Nico struggles to finish his shaved ice before it melts and gets sticky, colorful syrup all over his hands—even though he tries to wipe it on Euijoo's pants afterwards.
Euijoo feels melancholic, sure, but he doesn't feel regret. He feels…full. He feels like he's exactly where he's meant to be, and it's all because he allowed himself to want it.
This, he thinks, is what he'd been chasing. This is what freedom feels like.
Euijoo isn't going to let it slip through his fingers, this time.
❀❀❀❀❀
There was a time when Euijoo used to have things under control; when he was less transparent and more composed. He's always found Nicholas to be breathtakingly beautiful—but it was easier to look at him, back then. In the past, Euijoo didn't have to worry about keeping his expressions appropriately neutral or his tone of voice measured and pleasant. There was no need.
No one had ever managed to rile Euijoo up in the same way Nico does. The closer they got to one another, the truer this became. It was easy to hide behind mock annoyance for a short time, but that façade was quickly stripped away by friends and fans alike.
Now, Euijoo fears looking at Nicholas for too long because he knows exactly what will be written on his face when he looks back: total and utter devotion. Euijoo can no longer control the way his whole face softens at the sight—or the sound, or even just the mention—of Wang Yixiang. He's tried. He's painfully aware that his feelings must be obvious to anyone looking his way, Nicholas included, and so he does his best to avoid staring.
But sometimes, he really can't help it. Sometimes, Nicholas is shirtless and laughing and tugging Euijoo behind him by the hand, and Euijoo really can't look anywhere else.
"Nichol, wait!" Euijoo flushes. "At least let me put my camera down! I don't want it to get wet."
Nicholas huffs impatiently, but lets go of Euijoo long enough for him to toss his digicam over to where their towels are stretched out in the sand. Euijoo takes a moment to tug his t-shirt over his head while he's at it. He figures he may as well keep as many of his things dry as possible, especially if it starts to rain again. (Plus, there's an embarrassing number of half-naked Nicholas photos on the camera, and he'd really rather not deal with the inevitable mess that would follow if someone were to find them.) He wraps the camera carefully in his shirt and tucks them into his bag for safe keeping.
When the sun had started to peek out from behind the clouds around midday, Nicholas suggested that they spend their last chunk of time at the beach. Euijoo would follow Nicholas to the ends of the earth if that's what he wanted, and so here they are.
When Euijoo turns back towards the tide, Nicholas is already standing waist deep in the water. He'd clearly been too excited to wait for Euijoo any longer, but when he looks up to see his approaching form, a mischievous smile breaks out on his face.
"Eyyyyy, Sexy Juju!" Nicholas teases. He wolf-whistles as Euijoo joins him in the water, then gives him a once-over that lingers just a little too long to be friendly. Euijoo is extremely thankful for the cold shock of the ocean against his skin, because suddenly he's burning up from the inside.
"Shut up," Euijoo laughs.
He splashes playfully in Nico's direction, then promptly regrets it when he gets an ear full of salt water in return. Nicholas shrieks as Euijoo tries to get his hair wet, then retaliates by wrapping his arms around Euijoo's waist, lifting him over his shoulder. (With ease, Euijoo notes. He prays that the late-afternoon sun is enough of an excuse for the blush that now rests high on his cheeks.)
"Oh, you're in for it now," Nicholas says. Then he forcefully dunks Euijoo under the water.
They play-fight like little kids for what feels like an eternity, and by the time they've both run out of steam, the sun has begun to set.
Euijoo feels like he's laughed more today than the entirety of 2025 as a whole. Not that the last year was particularly miserable, or anything—it's just that being with Nico like this is so easy. Euijoo feels as free as a bird and as light as air.
They flop down on their towels, too tired to make their way back to the hotel just yet. Instead, they let the lingering rays of the sun dry them off as they lay side by side, shoulders pressed together.
"I don't want to go back," Euijoo sighs. He turns his head to look at Nico and finds him lying with his eyes closed, face turned up at the sky. He looks so peaceful. Something restless in Euijoo's heart settles at the sight.
"Mm," Nicholas hums in acknowledgment, but doesn't open his eyes. "We can lay here as long as you'd like, Juju. We might get cold when the sun goes down, though. At least dry your hair off so you don't get sick."
Euijoo's cheeks burn. Nicholas is always so goddamn thoughtful.
"No," he protests. Nicholas lets out an amused scoff. "I mean, no, that's not what I mean," Euijoo continues. "I meant that I don't want to go back to Japan. I don't want to go back to work. I just want to stay here with you forever."
This finally gets Nicholas to open his eyes, and he turns on his side to face Euijoo with a soft smile. Euijoo's breath catches in his throat—they're so close together now that their noses are almost touching.
"That's cute, Euijoo, but you know we can't do that," Nicholas chuckles.
Euijoo knows. And he doesn't mean it, not really. But he allows himself to indulge in the fantasy anyway.
"We should run away together," he blurts. "Instead of flying back home, we'll just get on a flight to– I don't know, California or something– and we'll start a new life there."
Nicholas looks both shocked and touched by this proposition. "You don't really want to do that," he whispers. His breath is warm and soft where it fans against Euijoo's face. "You love being an idol. You love &TEAM and the members and the stage too much to leave it all behind."
"…yeah, you're right," Euijoo sighs. But what if I love you even more? he wants to ask. Instead, he says: "Maybe we can just pretend we missed our flight. Nobody has to know."
Nicholas lets out a peel of startled laughter, like he can't believe Euijoo would suggest such a thing. Euijoo doesn't blame him—he's normally stubbornly neurotic about being on time. But this year's Euijoo is going to live life more freely. This year, Euijoo is allowing himself to stray from the path.
"I'm serious," Euijoo whines, lips pursed in a pout. "We're already a few days behind schedule; what's one more day? It's not like we have any work to do immediately when we get back, anyway. We could totally get away with it."
"Juju…"
Nicholas's voice is quiet and careful. There's a hesitance in his eyes, an unspoken question, as he returns Euijoo's gaze. Euijoo can feel something real and heavy hovering in the small space between them, but he doesn't dare acknowledge it out loud. Neither does Nico. Instead, Euijoo averts his eyes. At the same time, Nicholas reaches up to brush some of the wet strands of hair from Euijoo's forehead, quietly collecting droplets of water on his fingertips.
It's when Nico's thumb stops to rest gently at the smooth line of his jaw that Euijoo finally breaks. His gaze snaps back up for a split second, then flickers down to Nicholas's lips for another, and then Euijoo is squeezing his eyes shut as he surges forward for a kiss.
Nicholas is completely still at first, and for a moment Euijoo worries that he's gone and fucked everything up forever. But then Nico inhales sharply and presses forward to kiss Euijoo back. His thumb digs more firmly into the skin of Euijoo's jaw, angling his chin to the side, slotting their mouths together like they were always meant to be connected in this way.
Euijoo lets out a breathless laugh of relief. He feels Nicholas smile against his lips and kisses him harder, deeper. Euijoo's hands wind around Nico's waist to pull their bodies closer; Nico cradles Euijoo's face in his palms like he's a delicate treasure. Their soaked-through swim trunks cling tight to their still-drying skin, and Euijoo realizes with a jolt that he can feel the shape of Nico's cock pressed against his own. Neither of them are hard, but it doesn't matter. It's still hot. It's dizzying. It's gut-wrenchingly romantic.
Nicholas tastes like salt water and fresh fruit and freedom. Euijoo doesn't want to ever pull away, but despite how empty the beach may presently be, they are still in a public place. They should really be more careful. With great reluctance, Euijoo detaches his lips from Nicholas's with a wet smack.
Euijoo is delighted when Nicholas lets out a little whine of protest at the separation. At first he trails after him, clearly on a similar wavelength as Euijoo, before he seems to remember who and where they are. His eyes fly open in shock as everything hits him at once.
"Euijoo, Juju–" he gasps, breathless. Nicholas's brow suddenly furrows with confusion and worry. Euijoo instinctively reaches out to smooth it over with his thumb. "I– is this–?" Nicholas stutters, mind clearly reeling. "Do you–"
Euijoo interrupts his spiral by knocking their foreheads together. He nudges Nicholas's cheek with his nose in what he hopes is a reassuring gesture, then presses one more chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth.
"We should go inside and dry off," he says. "We can talk in the room."
Nicholas can only nod in response. It seems he's been effectively shut up by the rare and blatant display of Euijoo's affection. Nico looks dazed as they haul themselves up from the sand and gather all of their things; Euijoo has to work extra hard to hold in his laughter because he's so fucking cute.
They make the trip back to the hotel in silence. It's a comfortable sort of quiet, not awkward—but the air still hangs thick between them, tension buzzing and crackling with each step. Every few minutes or so, Euijoo glances over at Nicholas and finds him already staring back. Nicholas averts his eyes with a shy giggle each time. Euijoo can't stop smiling the whole way home; he feels like a middle schooler with his first crush again. Warm and fluttery and floating on clouds of cotton candy, like nothing else in the world could possibly matter outside of this moment.
Just Euijoo and Yixiang. Juju and Nico. Yin and yang.
❀❀❀❀❀
"We should probably take a shower."
It's the first thing Euijoo says once they're back in their hotel room, away from prying eyes. It's not the first thing he wants to say, but he knows himself. He knows that once he finally lets his feelings out in the open, he won't be able to stop whatever comes next. He has a feeling Nicholas won't, either.
Every fiber of Euijoo's body is screaming for him to push Nicholas into the mattress and kiss him silly. But the thought of their first time tasting like dirty salt water is off-putting enough that he's able to set his hunger aside, even if only for a moment.
(Their first time…Euijoo can't believe it's actually happening. Well, that's assuming that Nicholas wants him back.
God, Euijoo really hopes Nicholas wants him back.)
Nicholas hovers in the doorway, looking adorably awkward as he scratches at the scar on his arm.
"Right…" he agrees. He sounds faraway, like he's still not sure if this is real or not. Euijoo can't say he blames him.
"Come on, just a quick rinse," he says, his voice soft and sure. He reaches for Nicholas's hand and begins gently leading him towards the bathroom.
"Oh," Nicholas exhales, nearly tripping over his feet. Euijoo reaches out to steady him. "You mean, like. Together?"
Euijoo feels his entire face heat up. That wasn't necessarily what he meant, but—it was clearly what he was subconsciously hoping for. Why else would he be pulling Nico into the bathroom with him? He swallows down the fear in his throat and gives Nico a shy shrug. No regrets.
"…if you want," he says.
"I want," Nicholas responds, breathless. He grips Euijoo's arm tight enough to leave a mark; looks up at him like he's afraid this is all some sort of joke. Euijoo's heart pangs in his chest at the thought. "Juju…I want," Nico repeats. Pleads, almost—though he really doesn't have to.
The bright smile Euijoo gives in response must erase any lingering doubt in Nicholas's mind, because the desperation on his face quickly melts into awe. Euijoo nods, and it seems to be all they need to come to a quiet understanding. They both hurry to slip out of their swim trunks, eager for the night to continue. Euijoo stumbles a little in his haste, and it sends them both into a fit of giggles that follows them into the shower.
The water is cold as it hits Euijoo's skin, but it does almost nothing to cool him down. Every part of him feels like it's burning up. There's molten magma flowing through his veins instead of blood. He can't stop shaking, either—like he's so full of desire that his body just can't hold it anymore. Euijoo wonders if this is what volcanoes feel like right before they erupt. If it is, he kind of understands why it's such an ordeal when they do.
The shower starts out innocent enough as they wash up side by side. At first, Euijoo's well-trained eyes instinctively avoid the warm body next to him, but then he remembers that he's allowed to look. He's allowed to want.
He's never wanted anything as badly as he wants Nicholas. He doesn't think he ever will.
Still, he feels stupidly shy as he glances over at Nicholas's naked form. His perfect, sculpted-by-God form…Euijoo lets his gaze drag from Nicholas's broad shoulders, to his well-defined pecs, all the way down to the sharp cut of his hipbone. His eyes linger at his waist for a moment, and he imagines what it might be like to hold him there, to press his fingers into the slight dip of muscle on his back. Speaking of his back—god. Euijoo has always loved Nicholas's back. Is that weird? He feels a little bit weird thinking about it.
"Can I wash your hair?"
The question startles Euijoo out of his horny haze. He snaps his eyes back up to Nicholas's face, where he's met with a mixture of amusement and bashfulness.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, of course," he breathes. "Can I wash yours?"
Nicholas doesn't like it when other people touch his hair, but he's let Euijoo wash it before. Maybe that should have been a sign that the want goes both ways, but Euijoo had never really dwelled on it. He feels a little stupid, in retrospect. But anyway—Euijoo always asks for permission regardless.
The shy smile on Nicholas's face stretches into a wide grin. "Sure," he says. "After you finish ogling me like a pervert."
"I wasn't ogling," Euijoo protests, cheeks burning. "I was just…appreciating."
"Is there a difference?" Nico laughs.
"…I guess not."
"So you admit you were checking me out."
Busted. Euijoo picks at the skin of his arm nervously and averts his eyes. "Well…yeah," he says. He hasn't stopped blushing since their kiss on the beach. He still can't believe he actually made a move. He doesn't know if he'll ever get used to this whole living freely thing, but it's kind of exhilarating.
"Juju! So scandalous!" Nicholas gasps. His tone is teasing, but Euijoo can still sense the hesitation behind his words. He's clearly joking around because he's afraid to get serious—that's what they've always done. It stings a little, but Euijoo can't blame him. He's never been this direct with Nico before.
He figures now is as good a time as any to start.
"What? You're really hot, okay?" he laughs.
"Oh my god," Nico gawks. "I'm gonna need you to say that, like, sixty more times."
"You're really hot, you're really hot, you're really h–"
Nicholas grabs his face with both hands and pulls him down for a kiss.
Euijoo squeaks in surprise, but is quick to catch up. He uses one arm as a brace to make sure they don't slip, and the other to push Nicholas flush against the shower wall. Euijoo runs his fingers along the curve of Nicholas's spine and kisses back with a fervor he didn't know he had. He wastes no time in prying Nico open with his tongue and licking inside, eliciting a whine that sends all of Euijoo's blood rushing south.
Nicholas is a handsy kisser. This does not come as a surprise, but is maddening all the same. His hands are large and sturdy where they wander all over Euijoo's skin. Calloused fingers press into his chest as he bites at Euijoo's bottom lip; rough palms run up and down his sides while he sucks on Euijoo's tongue. Euijoo thinks he might actually explode. And hey, if this is how he has to go, then at least he'll die happy.
There's a tug on Euijoo's waist and then their bodies are pressed flush together. They moan in tandem as Euijoo adjusts to slot a knee between Nico's legs, grinding experimentally against his hardening cock.
Nicholas's hands fly up and into Euijoo's hair. He curses in Mandarin—a quiet, breathy sound that causes Euijoo's heart to leap in his chest. Euijoo dips down to press kisses to Nicholas's jaw, his neck, his ear. His hands move to grope gently at the plush of his ass, and Nico arches into the hold, chasing more friction.
"Yixiang," Euijoo pants into Nicholas's neck. He feels a tight tug at the base of his skull and retaliates by grazing his teeth across Nico's pulse point. His heart is beating so fast. Nicholas lets out another keening whine as Euijoo gives an experimental bite, then smooths it over with his tongue.
Time seems to stop as they continue to move against each other. Euijoo nuzzles deeper into the crook of Nicholas's neck, licking and sucking at any skin he can reach as he slowly rocks his hips. They're at it for long enough that the shower starts to run out of hot water. Euijoo doesn't even notice, too preoccupied with Nico's fingers twisted in his hair and Nico's cock throbbing against his thigh to care about much else.
He's just about to consider getting down on his knees when Nicholas finally speaks.
"Shit, Juju," he groans, head thrown back against the tile wall. He sounds absolutely wrecked. "If you don't stop– I might–"
Euijoo doesn't want to stop, but he knows Nicholas is right. If they continue on like this, neither of them is going to last much longer. He pulls back with a pained groan, detangling himself with great reluctance. Nicholas lets out a shaky sigh of relief and loosens his hold on Euijoo's hair. He's trembling where he still rests against the wall, eyes blown wide with arousal.
Euijoo doesn't want to stop, but he does want to do this right. He wants to love Nicholas in all the ways that he never allowed himself to love him before, and he wants to do it properly. He wants to take his time. He wants to indulge, to map every inch of Nico's body with his tongue. To coax every sound from his lips like he's conducting an orchestra.
He would also really prefer to do it on a flat, comfortable surface.
"Bed," Euijoo breathes. He turns to shut the shower faucet off. It's not like they were really using it anyway. "Please, Nichol."
"Yeah." Nicholas nods. "Yeah, okay."
They take a moment to dry off as best as they can. Or rather—to hastily dab at each other with fresh towels until the touches become a little too playful. Euijoo doesn't feel very dry, but he really doesn't care. It hardly matters at this point, anyway. He gives his damp hair one last shake and meets Nicholas's eyes in the mirror.
Nicholas's gaze is heavy with lust. They maintain charged eye contact for all of three seconds before suddenly, he's swooping forward to scoop Euijoo into his arms princess-style.
"Nico!" Euijoo squeals, laughter bubbling up in his chest. Nicholas grins at him as he carries him out of the bathroom and deposits him carefully on the bed. Euijoo hardly has the chance to settle comfortably against the pillows before Nico is eagerly straddling him.
Euijoo runs his hands up the toned muscle of Nicholas's thighs. He stops to rest at his hips, rubbing gentle circles into the skin there with his thumbs. His breathing is quick and sharp as Nicholas shimmies into place on his lap, slinging his arms around his shoulders. Nicholas gives him a look so full of adoration that Euijoo thinks he might actually cry. He squeezes Nico's hip to ground himself.
"I love you, you know?" he says, and it feels like finally getting rid of a heavy weight that's been sitting on his chest for far too long. "I'm so in love with you, Wang Yixiang."
Nicholas squeezes his eyes shut, overwhelmed, and leans forward to press their foreheads together.
"I know, Juju. I love you too," he whispers into the space between them. He's shaking—Euijoo can feel it. "I– fuck, I've been in love with you for so fucking long. I can't believe this is actually happening right now."
Nicholas lets out an anxious laugh. Euijoo nuzzles their noses together before dipping down to press a short, soft kiss to his lips. "Me either," he says. He brings one hand up to cup Nicholas's face, then pulls him back to look him in the eye again. "I'm sorry I made you wait."
If only Euijoo had been braver, sooner. If only he'd known just how sweet freedom tastes—then maybe Nicholas wouldn't look so shaken right now. Truthfully, Euijoo has always known that what exists between them is special. He was just too afraid to let himself reach for it.
Euijoo leans forward to pepper feather-light kisses to the corners of Nicholas's eyes, where the faintest of tears have begun to form. "I'm so sorry, Nico," he repeats.
"It's alright," Nicholas breathes. "You can make it up to me by fucking me into this mattress."
Euijoo inhales sharply. He hadn't been expecting that. Not that he's complaining—he just…sort of thought Nicholas would want to top.
"You sure?" he asks. He tries to pretend his dick isn't twitching with excitement already, but it's pointless. He knows Nico can feel it. At least he can take comfort in knowing that Nico is just as hard, if not more.
"Euijoo, if you don't get inside me soon I think I might actually die," Nicholas says, completely straight-faced.
Euijoo can't help it—he laughs. He presses another chaste kiss to Nico's lips with a giddy smile. Nicholas trails after him with a whine and gives him a playful punch on the shoulder.
"Okay, okay," Euijoo chuckles. "So impatient."
He finally leans in to kiss him for real, and Nicholas responds hungrily, pressing their bodies as close as he possibly can. Euijoo moves to grope at his ass again, this time with more intent.
Euijoo's so glad he decided to try that out this year: intent.
Nicholas pushes back against his hands as Euijoo massages and spreads his cheeks. When he moves to ghost the pad of his thumb over his rim, Nico shudders and whimpers into Euijoo's mouth.
"Please, Juju," Nicholas pants against him.
"We– we don't have supplies," Euijoo pulls back from the kiss with a gasp. "Should I go down and get some?" The thought of having to stop what they're doing, compose himself enough to go down to the lobby, and then face a real human being as he buys condoms and lube is absolutely mortifying. But Euijoo wants to do this right. He doesn't want to hurt Nico.
"Hang on."
Nicholas abruptly stands up, leaving Euijoo's lap cold and empty, and starts rummaging through his suitcase. To Euijoo's surprise, he procures a small bottle of lube and holds it up with a sheepish grin.
"Why did you bring that?" Euijoo asks, eyes narrowing suspiciously. "That's not like, hand cream or something, right? I'd really rather do this with actual lube—"
"It's lube, I promise!" Nicholas interjects with a shy laugh. Euijoo raises a brow. "Listen. How often do we get to go places on our own? I'm a man with needs, Juju. Do you know how hard it is to jack off in peace when you live with eight other guys?"
Euijoo balks out a laugh. "I'm well aware," he says, eyes softening. "You don't have to justify yourself, Nico. I was just curious."
Nicholas blushes and climbs back into place on Euijoo's lap. He places the bottle of lube gently to the side, then bites at his bottom lip nervously. "I don't have a condom, though," he says, suddenly avoiding eye contact. "I wasn't exactly expecting to get laid on this trip."
Euijoo feels his heart jack-rabbit in his chest as he slowly comprehends what Nicholas is suggesting. It takes a moment for his brain to catch up to his body, but when it does, it's like his entire mind has gone static.
"I'm clean," Euijoo says, voice quiet but resolute. "I don't mind."
Nicholas looks at him with wide eyes. "Are…are you sure?" he asks. Euijoo is kind enough to pretend he doesn't notice the way Nicholas's cock throbs at the implication. He's not really faring any better, anyway.
"Are you clean?" he asks, just to be safe. Nico nods and Euijoo smiles. "Then yeah, I'm sure. If you are."
Nicholas crashes into him with an enthusiastic kiss, pushing Euijoo down onto his back. "Fuck, yes, please," he mumbles against Euijoo's mouth. "I can't wait to feel you."
Another volcano erupts in Euijoo's veins, setting his whole body alight. With gentle but eager hands, he rolls them over and repositions so that he's hovering over Nicholas. Nicholas folds his legs up instinctively, and Euijoo curses at the sight of him like this, all flushed and wanting beneath him. He presses a wet kiss to the inside of his knee.
"You're so stupidly gorgeous," Euijoo sighs, hiking Nicholas's leg over his shoulder with one hand and uncapping the lube with the other. "I can't believe I get to have you like this."
"You have me in every conceivable way, Euijoo," Nicholas breathes. Euijoo feels Nico's body tense as he presses a slicked finger to his rim. "Always have, always will."
Euijoo takes his time opening Nicholas up. He plants kisses on every inch of skin he can reach as he works his fingers inside of him one by one, listening carefully for any signs of discomfort. Nicholas stares up at him in awe, eyes hooded and mouth slack with pleasure. Euijoo stares back with just as much reverence.
"I love you so much," Euijoo says. The tips of his fingers graze against Nicholas's prostate and he gasps, hands clawing at Euijoo's shoulders for stability. Euijoo smiles, satisfied with the response, and leans down to kiss him over and over. "I love you, I love you, I love you."
"I– ah–" Nicholas tries to say it back, but Euijoo is now hitting his most sensitive spot every thrust, and he's focusing all of his energy into not finishing prematurely. "Fuck– Juju, baby, fuck me. Please."
Euijoo pulls his fingers out in one swift motion, causing Nicholas to let out a low moan. The use of the pet name has Euijoo feeling even more frantic and on edge than before, and he uses his already dirtied hand to hastily slick himself up, accidentally spilling lube all over the sheets in the process.
Oh well. They'll worry about that later.
"You ready?" Euijoo asks, breathless, as he lines himself up with Nicholas's fluttering hole.
Nico digs his fingernails into Euijoo's shoulders and tugs him closer.
"Yes, god, hurry up," he whines, tightening his legs around Euijoo's torso. "I need you."
Euijoo lets out a shuddering laugh and finally gives them both what they've been wanting for years. He slides in slow and gentle, careful not to do too much too quickly, even though Nico feels so good that it takes everything in him to hold back. He distracts Nicholas from the pain with a wet kiss that is happily returned, all tongue and teeth and desperation.
When he's fully seated inside of him, Euijoo lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.
"Oh my god," he groans. "Fuck. You feel– so good, Nichol. So perfect for me. Holy shit."
Nicholas lets out a little whimper at the praise. Euijoo feels his walls tighten around him, and he moans again, hands flying to grip harshly at Nicholas's waist.
"Are you okay?" Euijoo asks. "Can I move?"
Nicholas looks up at him with glassy eyes and nods. Euijoo kisses him again. He really can't resist.
"Can you use your words, baby?" he mumbles against Nico's lips. "I just want to be one-hundred percent sure."
Nicholas huffs out an impatient sigh, clearly frustrated with Euijoo's slow pace. Even spread open and bare like this, Euijoo thinks he's adorable.
"Jesus, Euijoo, yes," Nicholas says. He shimmies from underneath him, arching his body upwards in the hopes that it'll push him deeper inside. Euijoo laughs and decides they've both waited long enough.
The first thrust feels absolutely insane. Nicholas is so warm and tight around him, and Euijoo loves him so much, and he's definitely not going to last as long as he'd like. But that's okay. Now that Euijoo has Nicholas, he's never letting him go. They'll have plenty more opportunities to do this in the future.
Euijoo fucks Nicholas deep and slow, taking his time to find the perfect angle. Once he's found it, he starts to snap his hips a little harder, a little faster. Nicholas gasps and reaches out for Euijoo's hand. Euijoo threads their fingers together and squeezes. Nicholas squeezes back.
It's all incredibly tender and intimate. When they aren't kissing, they're holding direct eye contact—something that would normally send the two of them into a fit of giggles, but now seems impossible not to do. Euijoo thinks he must whisper the words "I love you" into Nico's ear a thousand times. Nico must say it back a thousand and one.
It doesn't feel real, and yet at the same time, it's the most real thing Euijoo has ever experienced.
The pleasure in his gut builds and builds, cresting over him in waves. Euijoo is about to pull out to finish when Nicholas clenches hard around him, holding him in place.
"Come inside me," Nicholas breathes, eyes pleading and wet with unshed tears. "Please, Juju. I'm so close. I want to feel you."
Euijoo curses under his breath. His hips stutter, rhythm faltering as he reaches out to take Nicholas's leaking cock in his free hand.
One stroke, two strokes—that's all it takes. Nicholas cries out Euijoo's name as he comes undone, painting the space between them with long ropes of white.
Not seconds later, Euijoo follows. He spills inside of Nicholas with an elongated groan, then collapses on top of him. His whole body is exhausted and shaking with aftershocks, but he's never felt better.
Euijoo doesn't know how long they lie there, breathing each other in. He rests his head on Nicholas's chest, listening to his heart rate settle as Nicholas runs gentle fingers through his hair. It shouldn't be comfortable—they're sweaty, and sticky, and Euijoo's muscles ache—but it is. He would stay right here in Nicholas's arms forever, if he could.
Unfortunately, they've got other things they need to take care of. Ugh.
When they eventually detangle themselves to start cleaning up, Nicholas takes in the ruined state of the sheets and frowns.
"You spilled all my lube," he complains with a pout. "That was expensive."
Euijoo laughs. He's so fucking happy. He gives Nicholas a bright, cheeky grin.
"Don't worry. We'll get more."
❀❀❀❀❀
They start planning their next couple's vacation on the flight home. Yes, couple's—they made it official last night, after a second shower together led to a second round of sex that was just as good as the first. Euijoo still sort of feels like he's waking up from a dream; like reality hasn't fully settled in yet. He has a feeling it won't really hit him until they're back home with the other guys. Once they're breaking the news to their friends, it will feel more real. Euijoo is both anxious and excited to see how they react.
But anyway—vacation. They don't know when their next multi-day break will be, but this time they want to be prepared. The spontaneity of Hawaii was definitely something Euijoo needed, but it'd be nice to have stable plans, too. He'd like to just exist with his boyfriend for a while without having to worry about what they'll be doing next.
There are so many different places they could go, but Euijoo has one non-negotiable.
"Sky diving," Euijoo insists, crowding into Nicholas's space. He's got a travel site open on his tablet and scrolls through it leisurely as they wait for their flight to depart. "We have to go sky diving this time. For real."
"I know, babe," Nicholas huffs. "We can book it, but I can't control the weather."
"Well why not?"
"Because I don't have magic powers?"
Euijoo crosses his arms over his chest. "Skill issue," he grumbles. Nicholas laughs, loud and bright, and leans over to squish Euijoo's cheeks between his palms.
"So cute, my Juju," he croons. He pulls the corners of Euijoo's lips up with his thumbs into a makeshift smile. Euijoo swats his hands away. "Hey. Guess what."
"What?"
"I love you."
Euijoo's entire face softens. He melts a little into his seat, lets out a tired sigh. He's not actually mad about the weather thing. Obviously. He's just grumpy from a lack of sleep the night before. Nicholas wouldn't let them purposefully miss their flight, even though Euijoo is still convinced they could have gotten away with it.
"I love you, too," he says.
Nicholas lifts his head to do a quick sweep around the cabin. Once he confirms that nobody is looking their way, he ducks forward to place a quick peck on Euijoo's cheek.
They hold hands underneath the blanket Euijoo brought for the majority of the flight. It's not the most comfortable, but it's something. And this time, when Nicholas falls asleep a mere twenty minutes after take off, he rests his head on Euijoo's shoulder. Much better for his poor neck.
Euijoo cannot wait until they're back home and in their own private space again. Where they don't have to worry about what the fans think, or what society expects from them. Where they can start to build a life together. It's going to be difficult at times, but Euijoo knows they can do it.
After all, they're Euijoo and Yixiang. Juju and Nico. Two halves of a whole.