Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Ever since arriving to Gotham just about a year ago, one Peter Grayson Parker had finally developed a new sense of normal. He had been able to become a new and improved Spider-man, he had a huge family who he adored more than anything in all the worlds. He had even been going to a fantastic school! The Parker Luck™️ hadn’t been cursing him for such a long time that he had started to wonder if maybe he’d been overthinking it. All this to say, life was good.

This was of course, until he walked into his first class of the day, only to be met with a permission slip for a field trip to Wayne Enterprises waiting for him on his desk.

Oh this was so Tim’s doing. Peter was going to have words with the boy later. Words that involved threatening his treasured energy drink stash.

The trip itself, was fine. It was the fact that Peter knew his family. He had survived enough prank wars with them to know that this was going to be anything but a simple field trip. Peter was suddenly regretting every life choice he had made that led him to this moment.

“Peter!” The Peter in question looked over to see Harry Osborn and Gwen Stacy, his two best friends waving the permission slip in his face.

Now, Peter adored his friends, he really, truly did. They were his people. The ones he could go to with any non-vigilante related problems. The ones who would drop whatever they were doing so they could all have a movie night if one of them had a bad day. He would do anything and everything for them. That being said, they were such assholes.

“Oh dude you are so screwed.” Harry laughed in his face. Yep, Peter thought, his friend were indeed assholes.

After voicing this opinion (fact) aloud and claiming that he’d just skip the trip, Gwen helpfully added on, “You do realize that you like… Have to go right?”

“Do not! it’s not mandatory or anything, and I’ll gladly do whatever extra work I have to do in order to get out of whatever sick and twisted trap my family planned for this to be. I’d rather keep my dignity intact, thank you.” Peter huffed and crossed his arms as he sat back in his seat. He did not care what repercussions he faced if he skipped this trip. If there’s one thing he can count on, it’s that field trips and Parker Luck, historically, do not go well together.

“I mean yeah sure you could do that, but Flash would never let you hear the end of it. He already thinks you’re faking being apart of the Wayne family.”
Ah shit. Harry had a point there. Apparently Eugene ‘Flash’ Thompson being his mortal enemy was simply a fact across all universes. Back in his original universe, the boy had never been convinced of Peter’s Stark Industries internship. This version of him was no different, and refused to believe that someone as weak and pathetic as Peter could ever have been apart of the Wayne Family. It unfortunately didn’t help matters that Bruce and Dick were dead-set against the media knowing about Peter’s existence. His dad hadn’t wanted him to deal with the stress of the paparazzi, and their uncanny resemblance would raise to many questions that could not easily be answered.

Peter didn’t even want anyone to know that he was part of the Waynes! His classmates only found out because one of them had seen him, Tim, and Duke hanging out and had promptly put the pieces of his last name and appearance together to figure out who his lineage was. Flash had heard these rumors and decided that Peter himself had made it up for attention, and held this supposed fact over his head constantly.

“You ask a wizard for a favor one time…” Peter mumbled into his hands. “Okay so then what bright ideas do you guys have?”

“Moving away and making a new identity can’t be too difficult. I hear that Metropolis is great this time of year!” Gwen patted him on his back reassuringly, it did not work.

“‘Sup Penis!” Flash yelled as he walked right in front of Peter’s desk, because apparently every version of Flash across universes had the same level of creativity with their name calling.

“I do not want to hear it Eugene.” Peter deadpanned as Gwen and Harry tried (and failed) to contain their laughter.

“Why? ‘Cos you know that all your lies will come out? That everyone will learn just how desperate for attention you are, Penis?” Flash sneered at him with the confidence of a boy who didn’t nickname himself Flash.

“Yep, sure that’s exactly why I changed my last name. Y’know for the attention? That also must be why I refused to confirm everyone’s suspicions for months!”

Before the two could go on, Ms. Wesley started the class with explaining the trip. It was to be taking place that coming Friday. The trip was granted to their class directly by the CEO. (gee, who woulda thought?) Ms. Wesley made sure they understood what a valuable opportunity this was and to take full advantage of it. Which would be why, the trip was mandatory.

Curse Peter for saying it wasn’t, he had completely jinxed himself. Parker Luck wasn’t even to blame, just his own stupidity and lack of wood to knock on.

Harry and Gwen spent the rest of class excitedly chatting about the trip, as Peter planned all the ways he could make the 18 year old CEO pay while simultaneously not destroying his dignity in the process.

Chapter Text

“Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne!” Peter shouted from right outside the door to his room.

After Peter was mercifully released from school, he had immediately asked his dad if they could go to the manor. He had used the excuse of wanting to ask Tim and Duke for some homework help. Peter would have felt guilty for lying but unfortunately there was no other option, seeing as if he were to inform Dick about the field trip he would be quick to sign the permission slip and want him to go. So, while he didn’t feel good about it, desperate times called for desperate measures.

So there he was, standing in the middle of an unreasonably sized hallway, shouting Tim’s name.

“Dude. I’m over here.” Tim turned the corner and looked at Peter confused, “Why exactly are you here?”

“I am here to confront you for being a dirty treacherous traitor.” Peter glared at the boy across from him and crossed his arms. He straightened out his posture, attempting (and failing) to look taller than he actually was.

Traitor Tim™️ had the audacity to look bewildered, before the look quickly vanished from his face and turned into an evil smile. Seriously; Peter had come face to face with The Joker, and even that crazy ass dude didn’t have half a menacing smile as Traitor Tim had in that moment.

“You heard about the field trip I presume?” Tim rested against the wall, looking all too pleased at Peter’s current predicament.

“You mean the field trip that you planned so you can ruin any chance I ever had at having a successful social life?”

“Pfft you think you had a chance at a social life?” Tim scoffed.

“Ugh.” He rolled his eyes at the traitor in front of him. “Point is, what is wrong with you!? What am I supposed to do on a field trip to a place I go to so often that the workers know me by name??”

“If that’s your biggest concern then this is going to be even more fun than I thought.” Tim’s insane, sleep deprived smile somehow grew larger.

Peter sighed. He knew that no matter what he did, Tim was not going to budge, and was certainly not going to tell him any of his plans.

“I’m gonna become a super villain. It’ll be all your fault. In a few years I’ll be a cackling maniac in the sky and you’ll cry remembering what I used to be like. You’ll rue the day you crossed me, Tim Drake-Wayne. You’ll rue it. Rue it!” Peter swiftly turned the other way.

“Peter, your room is the other way.” Tim gave him an unimpressed, but amused look.

“I know that.” He did not know that. He turned back to Tim in order to head to his room “you’ll rue it.” He grumbled, much like an angry toddler would, except this was perfectly valid and he was being extremely mature about this, thank you very much.

As he headed to his room, Peter decided that he was focused on the wrong thing. He could make Tim rue it a different day. Today, he had to focus on taking control of the trip. He was Spider-man! He had faced off against way more prevalent threats than a simple annoying Tim. He could totally hack into Wayne Enterprises and cancel his tour group. He had once hacked into the pentagon for Thors sake! He could do this.

——

He could not do this.

After hours of working, enough caffeine to keep an elephant awake for a week, and a loss of his sanity, Peter had to accept defeat.

Every. Single. Time. He tried to access the tour guides, a pop up that took up his entire screen lit up bright neon yellow with flashing lights saying, ‘LMAOOOOOOOO’ with a text box underneath came up. It would only go away once Peter wrote in the text box, ‘Red Robin is the best Robin’ after sacrificing his dignity more times than he could count, he had to call it a night.

—-

Peter went down to the cave to get ready for patrol. As he was putting on his mask, Duke, Steph and Cass entered the room.

“Hey Peter, got any exciting news at school today?” Duke smiled at him. And oh, Peter knew that look.

“You’re in on it!?” He was horrified. No, no, no. If it had been just Tim, he could handle it. But Duke as well? And oh. Oh no. Steph and Cass were smiling along with him.
This was it. This was the end.

“In on what, nephew?” Cass asked innocently.

“You know what! The field trip! That you all planned!” Peter shouted, eyes wide in shock.

“What field trip are we talking about?” Dick asked as he entered the cave, behind him was Bruce who looked equally as confused.

“Oh you know, the trip that happens when you decide to web up your family for April fools.” Steph glared at Peter as the others shuttered in memory.

“I still find bits of your weird ass webbing in my shower.” Duke looked lost in a flashback as he spoke.

Ah crap. Peter did do that, didn’t he? In his defense, it was quite funny. Although, in hindsight, maybe using the extra strength webbing that lasted 4 hours before dissolving wasn’t the brightest idea.

“Please do not start another prank war.” Bruce sighed with the exasperation of a man who had adopted far too many children.

“Oooooh so that’s what the Wayne Enterprises field trip was about.” Dick added.

“Oh come on! You cannot be in on this to!” Peter groaned in response to his own father betraying him.

“I wasn’t! I just got an email about it and confirmed that would be going on the trip.”

Peter didn’t have to turn around to know that Duke, Steph, and Cass were laughing at his misery.

—-

After patrol had concluded, him and Dick drove back to Bludhaven.

He had three days to prepare for his social life to be over. If he was going down, he would be dragging the traitors he calls family down with him.

——

The week went by far too quickly for Peter’s liking. All of a sudden it was Friday morning and he had to wake up early in order to get to the bus in time.

Peter had spent the past couple of days putting together enough contingency plans to put Batman to shame. He had a plan to backfire any and everything that his family threw at him. He was ready. Peter had faced off against villains before. He had beaten killers, monsters, tyrannical aliens; You name it. But he was about to face his greatest challenge yet. The revenge from his family. The family who were all slightly insane vigilantes.

Ah yes, it was time for Peter to meet the consequences of his actions. That being said, just because he deserved whatever punishment they were planning on, did not mean he was going to give up that easily.

Chapter Text

It was the morning of the dreaded field trip. Peter was getting hit with Deja vu like he had written a song about getting his drivers license.

He shuddered just thinking about the Stark Industries field trip he took in his freshman year back in his old universe. All the Avengers somehow found an excuse to be there. Even Loki was there. Mathew goddam Murdock found an excuse to be there to bare witness to the chaos. Tony had made all his classmates sign so, so many NDAs.

Peter had always remembered that day in horror, embarrassment, bafflement, other no-good and terrible feelings. (Well okay it was sweet, but he was not about to get sappy at 6:00am thank you very much.) However today, the memories provided a reassurance. He had already survived one field trip where his family had spent the entire day humiliating him, so really what’s the worst that could happen this time around? Plus, Peter had those good old contingency plans. This was going to be fine. Maybe even fun! For the first time in a long time, he had hope.

———-

Hope was a stupid, dumb, more stupid, cruel belief that only a naive toddler would dare to have.

He had gotten a text from Harry while getting ready,

-

Two and a Half Brain Cells

(6:15am) Yes, like the styles: CODE SAVE YOURSELVES WHILE YOU STILL CAN

(6:15am) Gwanda: Harry, what did you do now?

(6:16am) Yes, like the styles: I DIDNT DO ANYTHING

(6:16am) Yes, like the styles: flash is already on the bus

(6:16am) Yes, like the styles: he’s spent the past 15 minutes trying to email WE about Peter lying and stealing from them

(6:17am) Yes, like the styles: Ms. Wesley believes him and doesn’t want Peter on the trip bc he’ll “Ruin the school’s reputation”

(6:17am) Gwanda: HELPPPP

(6:18am) Gwanda: Peter I am BEGGING you to come with your dad or something

(6:20am) Peter Picking Peppers: please tell me Flash hasn’t actually emailed them yet.

(6:22am) Yes, like the styles: uhhhh I think he did

(6:22am) Yes, like the styles: why is that bad tho, isn’t the whole u not being allowed on the trip anymore the bigger issue

(6:22am) Peter Picking Peppers: give it a minute.

(6:23am) Gwanda: ???

(6:28am) Yes, like the styles: Why did Flash just scream about some dude calling him and telling him his exact coordinates and his mother’s maiden name

(6:28am) Gwanda: PETER????

-

Peter had contingency plans, yes. However, they were all for once he had actually entered the damn building. The idea of all his hard work (and sulking) over the past few days being for nothing? Yeah, Peter wasn’t going to allow that to happen. Before he could get to figuring out how to get into the trip against his teachers will, he was interrupted by the day-time BatChat™️.

-

☀️🦇💬

(6:36am) RR yum: Peter.

(6:36am) Sticky boy: that would be my name, yes.

(6:37am) RR yum: why did WE get an email from one of your classmates and teacher saying that you were “making fake claims about the Wayne family” and, “stealing tech in order to make your preposterous stories more reliable” ?

(6:38am) Sticky boy: I don’t have to tell you anything without my lawyer

(6:38am) Spoiler Warning: WHAT

(6:38am) Spoiler Warning: PETER

(6:38am) Spoiler Warning: EXPLAIN

(6:39am) B-man: Peter, should I make a call to your school?

(6:39am) Sticky boy: I think I would actually rather bathe in fear toxin actually

(6:40am) Glow Stick: oh my god this field trip is gonna be better than I thought

(6:42am) RR yum: Pete you should probably know that Cass just asked for who the classmate and teacher were

(6:43am) Jumpscare Personified: I will be talking with them when they arrive.

-

Before Peter could try to stop Cass from planning to psychologically torture his peers and teacher, his dad came knocking on his door.

“Why did I just get a call from your school about your teacher not wanting you on the field trip?”

Peter opened his mouth to respond before being promptly cut off.

“And follow up question, who is this classmate that emailed WE and why haven’t you mentioned him?” Ah Peter knew that look. He was not going to be getting out of this. Ugh, he had to come clean about his bully one day.

“I don’t know, it’s not like I know everyone in my school.” That day was not going to be today.

Dick gave him an unamused look, “Peter.”

“Hello!” The Peter in question waved happily.

Dick gave him a Batman level glare, “Peter.”

“He’s just an annoying dude in my class, no biggie.” Peter tried to give his dad a reassuring smile, but only managed a grimace. “Seriously dad, I really don’t want to get into it right now.” Peter sighed, hoping that Dick would let in go for the time being.

“Alright fine, but we will be discussing this later. Now get your backpack, I’ve got a plan.” Dick had the same menacing smile on his face that Peter had while putting together his revenge for the field trip. Which could only mean, disaster was about to occur.

Begrudgingly, Peter slung his bag over his shoulder. “And am I going to be allowed in on these plans?”

Dick grabbed his shoulder and led him out the door, saying a cheery “Nope!” As they left the apartment and made it into the car.

—————

Two and a Half Brain Cells

(7:03am) Yes, like the styles: PETERRRR R U COMING

(7:03am) Gwanda: LMAOOO u missed Flash crying

(7:04am) Gwanda: apparently he got another call saying his social security number

——-

As they drove, Peter found himself upset that he wouldn’t be attending the trip. Sure, it was like the worst thing to ever happen to him in this universe when he first found out about it, but he had grown to be somewhat excited about it. Well no, he was more excited about seeing how many of his revenge plots would come to fruition. He had a bingo card and everything. The free space was that someone would get glitter bombed! He was robbed of his opportunity to terrorize Tim in return for attempting to put him through yet another disastrous field trip. (He knew that the others were in on it as well, but Tim was the CEO after all and it was simply so much fun to mess with the dude who named himself after a restaurant.)

So, Peter found himself asking before he could stop himself, “Could we just go to Wayne Enterprises anyway? I mean I don’t technically have to be on a trip to be there.”

Dick took his eyes off the road to spare his son a huge smile as he admitted, “That’s exactly what we’re doing!”

Peter internally fist bumped the air as he thanked Thor and every star up in the sky. Externally however, he quickly took control of his growing smile and claimed, “alright cool, cool, cool. I was just wanting to go visit some of the labs.”

Dick had the nerve to pretend to look disappointed, “Aw man. Guess you wouldn’t wanna be a tour guide then. Better luck next time.”

The newly appointed tour guide immediately perked up. “I can be a what.”

“Tour guide!”

“Seriously?”

“Yep!”

“The labs can wait.” He was already thinking about all the things he could accomplish as a tour guide. Sure, he hated the attention. But he also now had the opportunity to make all his revenge against Tim execute perfectly. And hey, if he just so happened to get Flash to shut up then that was just a crazy random happenstance. (He was fully aware that his inner monologue was sounding like a rogue. Eh, he didn’t have a PHD yet it was probably fine.)

Oh yeah, Peter thought, time for the fun to begin.