Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Why was she so cold?

The sun was shining outside, its golden rays angling down through the living room’s picture window, prismatic shards dancing across the new area rug they had just purchased. Tess Vanderbilt smiled as she remembered shopping with Nate just before they moved into their new house in the Sanctuary Hills housing development. Escaping the hustle and bustle of downtown Boston was not a logistical choice, but one of needing serenity after long hours poring over case files, long, drawn out court cases, and just escaping the general buzz of a major city that was anything but calming.

Now she heard the TV… the news was on, the caster droning on about something she couldn’t quite make out. She smiled, all the comforts of home surrounding her—familiar sounds and aromas. The fiery jet of their Mr. Handy, Codsworth, floating about the kitchen. A newspaper being spread out. The smell of coffee.

But she was freezing. Her body trembled so hard her teeth were chattering. Suddenly the vision of this idyllic landscape started to splinter and crack, like shards of a mirror breaking apart and scattering to the periphery of her awareness. A flash of memory—the sound of a computerized voice, people talking, the loud report of a firearm.

Nate!

Her eyes fluttered open and her body ached from the sudden rush of adrenaline as her heart raced. She looked around her. She was in some type of enclosure. Where was she? Looking out of the semi-frosted glass in front of her, she saw a row of other enclosures. And the one directly opposite hers was…

No. No, that’s not right.

She banged on the door of what she now remembered being told was a decontamination pod and pushed on it, fear gnawing at the edges of her consciousness.

“Let me out! Let me the hell out of here!”

She felt the seals give way and leaned into it with all her might until it finally began opening with a hiss, the door moving upward, the pressurized chamber releasing her. Shivers wracked her body and she gasped for breath. Stepping from the pod, her legs gave out and she fell to the narrow pathway of concrete floor that ran between the rows of pods. She closed her eyes, her thoughts still clinging to the last remnants of her home, her place of comfort.

This isn’t real, she thought. It’s not real. Wake up Tess, wake the hell up!

A mechanical voice echoing through unseen speakers broke into her mind.

Critical failure in cryogenic array. All vault residents must vaca…

It faded away against the loud pounding of her heart as she slowly got to her feet. Taking a few deep breaths, she looked around. No one was there. The bay she stood in housed ten pods, five on each side. There were no sounds save the faint hissing of the cryogenic feeds along the walls and some distant mechanical thrumming, like the heartbeat of a great beast. Biting her lip, she took a few more steps until she was finally within a foot of the other pod. Nate was frozen inside, his brown hair almost white with ice crystals. He was slumped over to his side, a bullet hole in his chest.

A memory flashed into her vision. The stranger. The stranger who… No. Must’nt think of that. But...  That voice. That raspy voice. She flinched. It was still not completely intact in her mind. “That man,” she growled, then shuddered as another fragment surfaced. He had shot her husband. He had come right up to her window afterward and said “At least we still have the backup.” What the hell did that mean? Who was he, why…

Swallowing hard she looked for a way to open Nate’s pod. Her nerves were raw, her breathing strained, her throat sore. That looping recorded voice wasn’t helping either. Her hands were shaking as her mind was trying to piece it all together.

She finally found the lever on a small control panel to the right of his enclosure, flipped it up and stood back as the door unsealed and slowly ascended. Her body was wracked with cold and horror as she stood transfixed, still not accepting what was before her. More fragments started to coalesce; the news, the Vault-Tec man at the door signing them up for a spot in their shiny new underground fallout shelter—Vault 111. The one she was in.

The bombs! Oh god, where was Shaun? Where did those bastards take her son?

Ducking under the door she looked at her husband’s lifeless body for some time until she felt something warm trailing down her cheeks. She absently brushed the tears away then reached for Nate’s hand. It was so cold. Even more than she was, and a sweeping, dark terror enveloped her. The finality. The abject horror. The soul numbing confusion.

Looking down, she caught a glint from his ring. A sad smile curled her lips as her wedding day played like a movie in her memory. They were so happy. Their families were there, friends, co-workers—everyone. God… the planning had been a nightmare. Thank goodness her mother had been there to help. She’d almost called the whole thing off. Weddings should not be that hard to put together! But it had turned out perfectly. The day was gorgeous, and the reception was once in a lifetime. She never knew she could be that happy. Until they had Shaun.

With trembling hands she slid the ring from Nate’s finger then gently placed her palm to his face. She began to weep and fell to her knees. She wept until she couldn’t take another breath. Sobbing and choking, her body curled and slumped over. She lay in a fetal position wishing she were dead, tightly grasping Nate’s ring.

The sound of a baby crying jolted her awake. She looked around frantically, but the sound was gone. “Shaun?” she called feebly. Nothing. Just the droning pre-recorded voice and the faint sounds of machinery. Nothing human moved here.

She rose on wobbling legs and returned to her husband. “I am going to find whoever did this and they are going to pay dearly. I will burn this world down until I find our son! I promise.” She knew Nate would want her to go on, would want her to find their son. But how could she do this without him? How could she go... out there?

She slid his ring onto her thumb and started looking for the exit. Everything looked so worn out. Peeling paint, scuffed and dull concrete flooring that she could have sworn was buffed to almost a mirror shine when they had entered. Then again, how much was she really paying attention, given the circumstances of their descent into the vault? But the eerie quiet and state of the surfaces were making her anxious, and dread began to form like a fist in her gut.

After a few dead ends, she found herself in a room that adjoined what looked like a kitchen on the far end. There wasn’t much around, but she saw a baton on a crate and took it, some instinct telling her to be armed, prepared. But for what? Just as she flicked her wrist to open it, she heard a squeaking, scurrying sound and to her horror, what started to come toward her was a cockroach the size of a dog! Shock and disbelief froze her in place as she watched it begin charging at her. Just as it jumped forward she swung the baton, cracking its exoskeleton, ooze spraying from its ruined body, and sent it flying across the floor.

“What the fuck!” She felt nausea threaten to overwhelm her and almost dropped her weapon. How? Why was that thing... How was this possible? The biggest she’d ever seen was a couple of inches long and she almost demanded Codsworth use his fire stream on it until Nate had come to the rescue. God, she hated those things! But this one? She could have saddled it! Fear was a cold finger slithering down her spine.

What happened here? Where was everyone?

She moved forward slowly and more carefully, the baton raised in readiness, all the while fighting the urge to run back to her pod and sleep forever. But people had come and stolen her baby. Why? And why did that man kill Nate? Still too confusing, still too raw.

There wasn’t much in the kitchen. The metal picnic tables were worn and rusting. Was Vault-Tec that cheap to furnish their vault with items that even a thrift store would refuse? But the counters and cabinets were in the same state of decay. Had she the time to contemplate this she would, but right now she was running on limited brain power. Finding the way out was first and foremost.

She looked around the room. All that was there were some empty beer bottles, an old coffee pot and some cracked coffee mugs. The bunk room next to the kitchen was empty, the bunks unmade. There were small footlockers in front of each of them, old, some of the lids open, off the hinges. She swallowed hard, forcing the questions away.

Back in the adjoining room where she found the baton was a large window. She looked through it and saw the cause of the deep humming, electrical sound. Cautiously, she approached the door and it whooshed open. In the center of the room was a large utility unit of some sort. A transformer? It appeared to be malfunctioning as there were bolts of electricity, like a Jacob’s Ladder, hitting the floor at random intervals. Each zap caused her to jump. She took a tentative step inside the door and watched as the next series of bolts hit something with a sizzle. It was another damn roach.

Good, she thought. Fry the fucker! She shuddered again. Revolting.

Making her way around a safety railing that enclosed the transformer, she saw another door on the far side. But right in front of it she spotted yet another one of the abominations. She looked at the roach, then the door. The only exit. Like some raving banshee she raised the baton and let out a curdling warrior scream, running at the thing for all she was worth. Her blow nearly tore it in half which made her stomach lurch, threatening to empty its contents. 

Closing her eyes she took some calming breaths until her pulse no longer felt like a jackhammer in her temples. Her eyes moved to a skeleton on the floor in a degraded vault suit and white lab coat. She knelt and read the name on the badge still clipped to the breast pocket. It belonged to the doctor who had led her family to the pods. She recoiled in disbelief, nearly falling back on her ass, shaking her head in wonder and shock. Bodies did not decay to bone in days. It took a hell of a lot longer. It took years, she thought. 

What was this nightmare she found herself in? None of this made any sense! Sitting on a crate near the door, she once again got her breathing under control. She had to keep moving. Slipping through the next door, she heard the sound again. Her heart immediately started to race, but she found her resolve. 

Fuck this place. And fuck these roaches!

This time the roaches were easier. She forced herself to fight past the confusion, the fear, the gnawing sense of “wrong” that was all around her and remember her training. Once they were dealt with, she entered the room at the end of the short hallway. There she found another of the staff, also tattered and bone.

How many damn rooms were in this place!

This one seemed to be an office of some sort with a large, U-shaped desk. It was mostly open space with a few filing cabinets and an adjoining room that had some dressers, a bed and a bathroom. There was a duffle bag on the bed which she took and stuffed with a 10mm pistol, some ammo, and some stimpaks that had been on the desk. It took a minute to figure out the next door she had to pass through needed to be opened via the terminal on the desk. Considering the condition of everything in the vault so far, she was deeply relieved that the terminal was still working.

The next hallway was just fabulous. 

After dispatching the herd of roaches there, she went through a final door and discovered the exit chamber—hallelujah. More skeletons littered the floor, the furthest just ahead under what looked like a control panel of some sort. She spotted a Pip-boy on the grating under it. She had seen Nate’s but never really looked at it in detail. She clamped it onto her arm. It was surprisingly light for as hefty as it was.

Glancing to her right, she saw the final barrier between her and the complete unknown. The large steel door to the exit, with its faded and peeling yellow paint, exposed metal, and the number 111 stenciled in a dull, dark grey, stood sentinel to an uncertain destiny.

Should she open it? Would she die within hours from radiation sickness? How long did it have to be before it was safe? Had enough time passed? It was obvious she hadn’t woken up the same day they came down. It was no longer a matter of Vault-Tec scrimping on furnishings. This place had aged. And badly. Plus all the skeletons… what the fuck happened?

She closed her eyes, the questions swirling and crashing like a tidal wave. Then a memory reel played in her mind—Nate, the terrible man who had shot him, Shaun crying as a stranger ripped him from her husband's hands. Her eyes narrowed with anger. What choice did she have?

Reading the instructions on the panel, she found the connector on the Pip-boy and slid it into the receptacle then hit the activation button. Klaxons started turning, shredding the dimly lit room with rotating orange light. An automated announcement commenced, warning against nearing the door while it was in motion. Machinery came to life with clunks and hisses as the multi-ton door began to move inward, then roll to the right. She squinted against the bright white light that began flooding the room.

A grated gangway slid forward toward the opened passageway. She stepped onto it and slowly walked across. She saw the stairs down to a lift and remembered this was the way they had come in. Tears began to slide down her face again as fear and pain and grief battled for control. Gritting her teeth, she made for the lift. She would do whatever she had to to find answers—and mete out justice.

Death be damned.

Chapter Text

...thank you for choosing... Vault. Tec."

The exit lift slowly made its way to the surface. Tess’s mind was still reeling, her heart felt as if it would shatter – from grief, from fear of what awaited above, and from anger.

”Fuck you Vault-Tec!”

The platform aperture began to slide open above her. It squealed and ground in protest so loudly it threatened to pierce her eardrums. She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath and held it, unable to thwart the image of the blast wave just moving over the surface as they descended that day. Her body was on the verge of collapse, the fear that she had just sucked down her last breath flooding her with adrenaline. The sun, even through her tightly closed eyelids, was brutal after the dimness of the vault below.

The churning and humming of the lift came to a stop with a loud clunk, nearly knocking her off balance. A breeze caressed her face, moving strands of long golden blond hair across her cheek. She let out her breath and reflexively sucked in a large lungful. It didn’t kill her. It just smelled dusty, lifeless. Dead.

Slowly opening her eyes, she found herself looking straight down at Sanctuary Hills. The wreckage of what was once her life caused her to gasp. Her legs felt like pulled taffy, but she managed to stay upright. Her chest constricted as she stared down at the hellscape. Standing for what felt like an hour, she was pulled from her stupor by the caw of crows nearby. 

Well, we always knew cockroaches would never die... at least some birds made it, she mused distractedly.

It had definitely been years. But wrapping her head around that fact had to wait in line. How could it have been years when it felt as though she had just put that vault suit on and sat down in the pod? Maybe it hadn’t been that long, maybe this was just the aftermath of the explosion. But if that were true, she would not be breathing right now, at least not for long.

With the state of affairs up to the day they fled for the vault, she and everyone else were very aware of what nuclear war meant. What would happen if nukes were actually detonated nearby, or anywhere, really. Nuclear winter. Death from the explosion. Then death from the blast wave, and surviving that, probably worst of all, a slow death from radiation sickness. How many out there had suffered such a fate? She had to force the imagery from her mind.

Then she thought about cryogenics. She knew that it completely suspended all life function until revived. A fact she attributed to her love of science fiction. But most of that information was subjective, more fiction than fact. But here she was, fresh out of cryosleep. It didn't make any sense. Why the fuck would a glorified bomb shelter freeze people? What the hell was Vault-Tec up to? It was obvious whatever it had been had failed.

She remembered that there were entries on the computer console, most likely from the staff. Well, when they were alive. She should have read them, but it wasn’t part of her imperative at that moment. No, there was no going back. Not right now. Her anger was returning. Those people smiled in their faces, knowing what they were about to do to the residents. It was incomprehensible to her.

Her head began pounding. She rubbed her temples, feeling the urge to once again go fetal and give up. With no idea at all where to go, where to start, she began making her way along the path she felt she had just traversed. Back... not home, but at least something familiar for the time being.

It was cool out, not quite chilly. All the trees that ran the perimeter of the little island of Sanctuary Hills were still alive somehow. But everything else was dead. As if to mock her, the sky was a pristine blue with luscious, fluffy white clouds, the sun shining happily as if everything anyone had ever known, all things that made life, life, hadn’t been destroyed. 

She stopped for a moment, looking through the Pip-boy for any information that might be in it. There was a bar at the bottom of the screen that was malfunctioning, flashing bits of text that weren’t legible. She could find nothing in it to give her any idea of the date or time. For all she knew, weather as it had been known could have completely changed. It could be the dead of winter or midsummer.

It was daytime, probably afternoon, early evening, judging by where the sun was. Looking ahead of her, she noticed that most of the houses were still standing, albeit the excuses for roofs and walls was another matter. The closer she got to town, the more her head throbbed.

It was dead quiet save for the sounds of the breeze as it swirled detritus to and fro, the quiet babbling of the stream running the perimeter of town, and the jarring moans of steel from ruined homes. She took solace in the fact that at least she hadn’t exited the vault at night. Her reverie was cut short when she heard a familiar sound. It was so familiar to her that she had to actually think what it was. 

Oh my god! 

She jogged the rest of the path to where it met the sidewalk of the town and her feet stopped moving, her body was rigid and her breath caught in her throat... it couldn’t be! Codsworth? How... it wasn’t... She broke into a sprint, hoping she wasn’t imagining things. “Codsworth!” She croaked out.

The familiar Mr. Handy’s eye stalks whipped around at the sound. “Miss Tess? Oh... it’s really you!"

Tess threw her arms around him, almost falling and taking him with her. “You’re real? You’re really here?”

The dignified Mr. Handy jetted up slightly, as if standing straighter and wiping down his butler’s tux. “Why yes, mum, where else would I be? But I say, you certainly look the worse for wear! Where is your better half, and dear Shaun? It will be so much nicer with you all back!”

She stared at him for a moment, trying to understand why he seemed so unfazed. “Codsworth, what happened? Where is everyone?”

The robot fidgeted before answering. “I don’t know, mum. I thought they were with you. When the bombs fell, I was worried that maybe... maybe you were all dead. But after thinking it over for the past two centuries–”

“Two hundred years?” Tess blurted out. “What? No, that’s not possible...” How can that... it’s- No! “Are you sure?”

Codsworth spoke with a hint of confusion. “Well, actually closer to 210 years, mum.” His artificial British voice cracked slightly. “I never thought I’d see you again. Where are Sir and young Shaun?”

Placing a hand on Codsworth, and fighting back another bout of tears, she answered, “Nate is… dead. Some people came into the vault and killed him, and they took Shaun!”

“Mum, these things you’re saying, these terrible things...” Codsworth trailed off, servos and gears humming, as he processed the information. One eye stalk looked up and down her body. “Miss Tess, how is it you’ve managed to survive two centuries? You look the same as the day you fled!”

She explained everything that she could remember. “Codsworth, did you see anyone coming or going from the vault while we were in there?”

“I’m afraid not, mum,” replied the ever-faithful servant. “In fact, I’ve not seen another living soul around here in a very long time. Unless, of course, you count Concord. I did traverse there once to see if anyone was about. However, the ones I did encounter seemed a bit... rough around the edges. They threw stones at me, even shot at me once! Dreadful affair. I’ve not returned since.”

She was lost in thought for a moment. So there actually were survivors? People lived through it? It seemed impossible, but then again, hadn’t living, breathing people come and taken her baby? Maybe they came from the vault, too. Or maybe even another vault. A glimmer of hope warmed her heart. People. Living human beings. “Codsworth, when was this?”

“Hmm,” Codsworth calculated, “I believe it must have been about fifty years ago last I was there. Yes, that is about the right of it.”

With a sigh, Tess felt the hope slip away as easily as it had come. She had no idea when those people had come into the vault. Discovering that her little nap had actually lasted over two centuries meant that time was something incalculable now. They could have been there the same day she was frozen or yesterday for all she knew. They could have come from anywhere at any time. It was all still too confusing and her headache was turning into a real killer of a migraine.

“I need to find Shaun, Codsworth. I’m going to clean up and pack some things in the bunker. I’ll be heading out first light. The bunker is still here, right?”

“Oh yes, mum,” Codsworth began, “Some unsavory people did try to break in once, but I was able to chase them off. Sir did an excellent job on its security.”

“Thanks Codsworth.” She was suddenly so tired, so very weary. “I’m going to get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Codsworth’s stalks followed her as she moved past him. “Of course, mum. I shall be here should you need anything at all. It truly is a relief to have you back Missus!” He returned to his eternal work of tending the shrubs, which miraculously, amid all the dead foliage in town, were still thriving.

Approaching the bunker, she stepped into the igloo-shaped concrete outer enclosure, where heavy iron doors were set into the wall. She entered Shaun’s birth date into the keypad and waited for the automatic doors to open. Musty air plumed up dust from the inside. She descended the stairs and hit the light switch on the wall. They flickered and buzzed then came to life. 

Good thing she and Nate had been prepared. 

She would go through everything later. For now, she needed to pass out and try to forget the past few hours.

Sleep was still a luxury she felt would not be afforded her for some time. The nightmares, the cold sweats, the images that were now all too real kept her tossing and turning most of the night. There was one final dream…

She was running down a corridor in some fortified building, turrets spraying bullets at her, an evil voice on a loud speaker, taunting and laughing. Shaun screaming, crying for her. The faster she ran, the longer the halls became. The evil voice laughed harder and louder.

She shot up from the bed, sweat stippling her face, body clammy, heart racing. Frustrated and worn out, she tossed the blankets aside, rose from the bed and started wriggling out of the vault suit. Insulated material clung to her damp skin and it was like trying to remove layers of cling wrap.

Finally freeing herself from the garment, she padded over to a recessed door in the far wall that opened into a control room. She checked the levels of the built-in generator that drew its power from the neatly installed solar panels which lined the concrete around the outer doors. All systems nominal. Good. A sad smile curled her lips. Nate would have been so pleased to see all his hard work had lasted all this time.

Leaving the control room, she entered the bathroom, stripped off her undergarments and started the shower. The water sputtered and spat, dark, brackish liquid spewing from the shower head causing her to jump back. Eventually it ran clear and warmed up. Sliding down the wall she hugged her knees as the water ran over her head. She allowed herself a few minutes of crying and self-pity before standing and grabbing the soap.

Feeling slightly better afterward, she wrapped her hair in a towel and went to start taking stock of the supplies when she realized Nate’s ring was still on her thumb. She swallowed a knot in her throat and went to the desk he kept near their king size bed, removing a fancy flip up box that contained his holotags. She took them out, threaded the ring on the chain, and slid it over her head, holding the items in her hand for a moment before letting them drop back against her chest. Her hands started trembling so she decided to get to work.

Nate’s Army pack was laying atop a large steamer trunk. She took it and started stocking up on what she felt she needed for her journey – wherever that was going to be. She had absolutely nothing to go on. Everyone she had ever known had long since died. 

From what Codsworth said, the humans that were alive now seemed to be hostile. Or maybe they were in a heightened sense of survival. There was no way of knowing. But she swore that no matter what she had to do, she was going to find her son. For Nate. For her. And if she could take down Vault-Tec as a side order, that would also work.

She decided on two weapons; one of Nate’s favorites, a Kalashnakov AK-102 carbine assault rifle, and a Glock 9mm pistol. She laid them on the table next to the trunk then dressed in a tank top and some of Nate’s fatigues; a bit large–the sleeves hanging past her fingers, but that was the least of her concerns right now. She quickly brushed her long hair and tied it back into a ponytail.

One of life’s little ironies occurred to her: When Nate returned from Alaska, something in him had changed. Not in a PTSD sort of way, but in that way that comes from seeing too much and wanting to protect those you loved. With the climate of the world at the time, it was no surprise he wanted them to be prepared for any possible scenario.

Nate had taken Tess to an army base shooting range and had patiently taught her how to stand, how to hold and aim her weapons, how to load ammunition, and how to care for and clean them. When it came to shooting, Tess had been a natural. It surprised them both. She also took self-defense classes. They had no idea that the world would actually end – but Nate had wanted them to be ready for anything. He would sometimes comment on how she had missed her calling as a soldier.

Tess grimaced. No time for memories right now.

As she meticulously cleaned and oiled every part of her chosen arsenal, her stomach began loudly protesting its emptiness. She frowned and went to the foot locker that contained a healthy stash of MREs. She smirked as she remembered how awful they tasted, if “taste” was even a word that could be ascribed to them. But right then she would have eaten one of those bile-inducing roaches, as hungry as she was. She groaned with revulsion.

Holding one MRE in each hand she read the labels: “Hmm, let’s have some turkey and mash,” she muttered, tossing the other one back. Still horrid, she mused after opening it – but she finished it all in under 30 seconds. Next she grabbed a water bottle and twisted it open as she returned to her weapons. It tasted of plastic. Not surprising after 200 years, she supposed. That was also gone in seconds.

Once the weapons were assembled, she gathered enough rations for a week, hoping that it would be overkill. She holstered the Glock to her leg, packed a change of clothing, some chems, and as much ammunition as she could carry for each weapon, stuffed the bag full, slung it on her back and shouldered the rifle. The weight was more than she was used to and her knees protested, but she would not be deterred.

As she exited the bunker she experienced another first. The sky was gloomy and tinged with green. Hell, everything was green! The wind was whipping the trees into a frenzy – and the sounds... What was she hearing? It was like someone dragging heavy chains over a kettle drum. Even the lightning was green! Her Pip-boy started crackling.

“Oh, no,” she whimpered. It was radioactivity! She momentarily panicked. This was a contingency she never imagined. Apparently even two centuries wasn’t enough time to rid the world of radiation. Her hand shook as she entered the passcode to go back into the bunker. Once inside, she nervously thought, what’s next, dinosaurs?

Nate had collected a lot of technical manuals and military documents so she was sure there was something about this somewhere. Eventually she found a book about nuclear bombs and sat to read it, thumbing through the pages until finding a section on ways to deal with fallout.

‘After a nuclear incident…’

“War, guys, it was a war.”

‘...fallout will spread from any site where bombs have been dropped. Best practices are to keep a Geiger counter and plenty of Rad-X and Rad Away on your person.’ There were various images of what they were calling rad-suits, different gear one could use for highly contaminated areas. She doubted the nearby Fallon’s would be open for business, much less have these types of items. 

Although she didn’t find any information on the phenomena she was seeing outside in particular, rads were rads and she wanted to be sure to take precautions. She double checked a med kit that was inside another large foot locker and found some of the aforementioned chems. “Bless you Nate, bless you,” she whispered. But where had he gotten them? Why did he even have them? These things were worth more than gold in the year before it all went to hell. She sighed and decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Rummaging through the clothing stash again she found a gas mask buried in the corner with a box of filters for it and took it all out. She cleaned the mask, inserted a new filter and tucked the rest into her fatigues pocket, then donned the mask. Holy shit did it smell! It was almost a toss up of wearing it or just taking her chances out in the storm.

Looking at the exit door, trembling fingers poised to push the button. Would she ever face anything normal again? Or was this her life now, going from one uncertainty to another? From the brief time she’d been outside of the vault so far, she feared the word normal wasn't even in the dictionary any longer.

Chapter Text

Tess exited the bunker and stopped to speak with Codsworth. “Hey, I’m heading to Concord, maybe there are still some people there that won’t shoot first and ask questions later.” She readjusted the weight of the pack which was already pressing uncomfortably into her shoulders. “I have to find others, I need a place to start, information to help me find Shaun.” She pointed to her left wrist. “Can you sync with this Pip-boy so I can contact you if need be?”

“Of course, mum! Just pull that connector out and plug it into my interface panel.” he happily replied. “Once synced, you will find my frequency in the list of radio channels in your Pip-boy.”

She found the panel on the side of his spherical body and opened it. The port was similar to the one on the vault control panel. She made the connection and in less than a minute they were synced. She checked the radio stations and renamed the new frequency “Codsworth,” then smiled at the only family member she had left. “Thanks, Codsworth.”

Codsworth’s eye stalks blinked at her, “Mum, do be careful, and be sure to keep that mask on in this dreadful storm!”

She grinned, marveling at how General Atomics had managed to make these robots seem so human. But more than that, in this moment, she was just happy to have anyone, or anything, to speak with. “Will do, Codsworth,” she replied as she turned to leave, but then, looking over her shoulder she added, “Hedges are lookin’ fine, Codsworth.”

She laughed softly at his reaction. It was as if he were a professional gardener puffing up with pride.

“Thank you mum!”

With a grin she pulled the rifle from her shoulder, checked the magazine and headed out of town. 

The storm, and her Pip-boy, crackled on. The strange timpani of the lightning jolted her bones and the green haze over everything was so surreal it was like being flung into a horror movie. Only this was a living, breathing nightmare that she would never wake from. The thought made her shiver. After the roaches she encountered in the vault, she was now hyper alert, not knowing what else might be roaming the world.

She came to the Minuteman statue just past the end of the bridge out of Sanctuary, surprised that it was still in one piece in comparison to everything else. The centuries of weather cast a sickly, pale green patina over the ever-ready soldier’s body and rifle. Further down the road she could see most of the structure from the Red Rocket was still intact, albeit just a sad relic of a time long forgotten, a time that had been hers only a day ago. Her gut tightened.

The wind soughed through the brown trees and bushes on either side of the road, swirling up dust and debris as she made her way to the station, eyeing all the rusted and ruined cars. The contrast of this empty, eerie and decayed world to everything she had ever known was a heady reality to take in. As she got closer, she thought she was seeing things at first. Was that a dog? 

Cautiously she approached, wondering if it would come snarling at her, spewing out tentacles. At this point the realm of possibilities was endless. However, much to her surprise and relief, the mutt spotted her and whined, wagged its tail and then trotted towards her. She crouched down, giving him a good scritch behind one ear. 

“Hey boy, what are you doing out here alone?” And how are dogs even alive? she wondered. He answered with a playful huff, dancing his front legs with happiness. “All right then, you wanna come help me find my son? I could sure use the company, pal.” As though understanding her, he gave a soft bark. “Well, that settles it then.”

It would be nice to have a real living, breathing being to travel with. Although the conversations would certainly prove lacking. This German Shepherd was relatively young. She guessed no more than two years old. But how? Where did he come from? Just more questions to add to the eternal list of them she was compiling. She smiled, tightened the strap of the rifle around her arm and set off with her new companion.

Not 30 seconds had passed and the dog stepped in front of her growling. Momentarily confused, she scanned the area, then knelt behind him and looked down sights. “Well, what a good boy you are!" As expected, new fun and exciting creepy crawlies. Just ahead were two insects that resembled mosquitoes, even larger than the roaches she encountered, and they were feasting on what looked like the remains of a cow. It was hard to tell as the corpse was so badly decomposed it was practically part of the asphalt. She grimaced.

Figuring it would be safer to just exterminate them, she lined up the shot, sighed out her breath and took the first one down. The second rose and immediately started to rush her but the dog raced forward, leapt at it, and with a sickening crunch, snapped it in two. She stood and watched the dog return, an eyebrow raised in surprise.

“Let’s just say I’m glad you’re on my side.” She ruffled his ears and chuckled at his earnest face, his lolling tongue and his wagging tail. It was like someone knew she would need him and left him there for her. But in reality, she knew his story was probably worse than that. Much worse.

They made their way to the city limits of Concord and she realized something that hadn’t consciously come to her earlier. Just how damn quiet it was. Nothing but the wind, the creaking of buildings and the caw of crows. And just why were there so damn many crows? It didn’t seem there was a lot of carrion to feast on, despite the cow from earlier. No, these birds seemed to flock around everywhere she went. It was almost creepy. Total Alfred Hitchcock vibes. Shaking it off, she cautiously made her way toward town.

Scratch that. Not quiet.

She ran for cover as she heard the zing of bullets that were apparently meant for her. “I guess Codsworth was right,” she muttered to herself. Even fifty years later the locals were still hostile. 

Wonderful.

Her heart was hammering away. Even after having live rounds training, this was a whole new experience. The dog was growling again and she could see his muscled flanks twitch “No boy, not yet.” He looked at her with disappointment. She surmised that this dog was a little more than just your run-of-the-mill mutt as he seemed preternaturally intelligent. Win for her, she supposed. He moved closer but still in front of her. 

“You are somethin’ else boy, aren’t you.” The bullets had stopped. Did they give up or were they just reloading? Quietly, she and her new best friend went around the first building of the main street that led to The Museum of Freedom at the end of the road. She remembered visiting it while she was still in law school. Though it, like everything else, was in ruin. She could see that the roof was partially collapsed from some large object she couldn’t quite recognize sticking out at an odd angle.

Looking through her scope, she scanned for whoever had rolled out the red carpet. A flicker, something moved. “There you are, you bastard.” Just as she placed her finger on the trigger the dog vaulted off at full tilt. She sighed. “Well, that was a very fulfilling, yet short-lived relationship.” Squatting down she realized that the storm had passed and gratefully removed the stifling gas mask, hooking it on her belt. She crouch-stepped quickly around the building to a space between it and the next crumbling structure.

Peeking around the corner she heard a male screaming. “Get off me, ahhh!” She had to stifle a chuckle. “I’ll be damned,” she whispered. Not knowing if the chew toy had any friends, she did another scan then quickly sprinted to the storefront across from her where she had spotted the guy. The dog came out, muzzle bloody.

“Can I reiterate how glad I am you’re on my side?” He did a little dance in response. The contrast of his dog smile and the blood dripping from his mouth was bizarrely comical. They entered the store on alert. No one but the dead guy. She checked him. His neck was broken.

Wow.

And then all hell broke loose. This time it sounded like an army. Peeking through a corner of the dingy, broken window she saw a group of men and women, about eight or nine of them, rushing into the street right in front of her, whooping and shouting. She ducked quickly under the half wall of the store front. They were headed toward the museum.

She managed to raise up just enough to peek out unnoticed. They were disheveled, wearing rags and bits of leather with strange metal pieces that she would probably not have called armor, and they were speaking to each other at what she would have calculated to be a fourth grade education. She took a closer look through her scope. Their weapons were laughable. They looked like something from a bad NRA science fair project, all wooden and duct taped. How they actually fired, she had no idea. But a bullet to the brain will still kill you, no matter what delivers it.

From what she could see, they were shooting at some people who were running toward the museum, trying to flee inside, and there was another man on the corner who was apparently shooting at the fourth graders. Huh. Who was this suicidal idiot?

“Come on, boy,” she whispered to the dog who followed obediently. They slipped out of the store and around to the back, running behind the rest of the derelict buildings that lined that side of the street until she was at the last one. She momentaril closed her eyes, willing her breathing to slow. "Remember your training, remember your training," she inwardly spoke like a mantra. Peeking around the corner of the structure, she saw a man up on the balcony of the museum and she almost burst out laughing. The guy had on some old costume – like revolutionary war old – complete with hat and cravat, and he was shooting a laser rifle.

Since the man on the balcony and Mr. Suicide had the cretins’ attention, she clicked her weapon into full auto and came out shooting. The dog immediately went to work. The world was suddenly immersed in a cacophony of bullets and death. And then it was quiet. How she wasn’t shot, she had no idea.

It’s official. I’ve completely lost my mind.

Mr. Revolutionary War shouted down, “Hey, up here! We could use some help, there are more of them inside. Please help us!” And then Mr. Suicide rose up from behind some sandbags arranged in front of a corner store that were apparently left over from before the bombs. He looked incredulously at her as though seeing an alien coming down the ramp of a space ship. She tilted her head at him and decided maybe he wasn’t Mr. Suicide after all, maybe he was Mr. Crazy.

The dog was coming back toward her but stopped and sniffed Mr. Suicide/Crazy, wagging his tail. Well, shit, if he was good enough for the dog, then fine by her. She raised her hand and waved. Mr. Whatever-He-Was-Now tentatively waved back. She slung her rifle and walked toward him. He was out of breath but never took his eyes off her. “Hi,” she said.

“Well hello to you! That was incredible! I mean, you just took out that entire pack of raiders!”

His jaw was still dropped. Okay, maybe he was Mr. I-Want-to-Catch-Flies-in-My-Mouth. She was still mulling the names over. The entire surreal ordeal she found herself in had her on the verge of hysterical laughter as her mind was near surrender in terms of comprehending any of this.

“Looked like you could use the help,” she said, smiling at him.

“You could say that again!” he agreed. She noticed he was bleeding. He’d caught one in the arm. He offered a slightly shaking hand and she accepted. “Name’s Jake. Jake Evans.”

“Nice to meet you Jake, I’m Tess Vanderbilt.”

He had a strange look on his face for a moment. Maybe he had been coming up with names for her. She almost snickered at the thought, the hysteria desperately trying to surface.

He was very attractive, 6′2" if he was an inch. His hair was the color of warm chocolate and his hazel eyes glinted in the early morning sun. He was muscular, but lean, athletic. Compared to what she had seen so far – including Mr. Revolutionary War – he was dressed much better.

He wore a button down blue checkered shirt, a brown leather vest, jeans, and an odd red woolen scarf of sorts around his neck. And were those cowboy boots? Huh, fitting since she detected a slight southern drawl. All his items were old and careworn, but she could see he took the time to keep them clean, however that was accomplished in this world. At least he didn’t smell like the one the dog had taken down.

He nodded with a smile. “Well, darlin’, I’m damn glad you happened by when you did. These damn raiders’ve been gettin’ a lot bolder lately.” They both snapped their heads toward the museum as gunfire broke out inside. “Sounds like those folks could use some help, too,” he added sheepishly.

Good grief, was she the new law in town now? She took a deep breath. “There better be a shiny new badge for me after this,” she teased.

Jake snickered at her, “You got it, Sheriff.”

“Are you okay?” she asked, gesturing to his arm.

He looked puzzled for a moment and then answered, “Oh, yeah, no I’m fine, I’ve definitely had worse.”

Worse than being shot. Dear god what was this world? Not knowing what to say to that she just nodded. “Come on boy,” she motioned and the dog immediately trotted off to the museum door.

Astonishing.

“Hey,” Jake called, “Come on by after, I’ll be here in this hardware store.”

Glancing back she said “I’ll take that vote of confidence!”

He blushed and nodded. “From what I just saw, I don’t think a deathclaw could stop you.”

Her mouth opened to ask but she decided it could wait. If people really did need help, she’d be no better than the raiders if she didn’t at least try. She just smiled back and headed to the prancing dog and the door to uncertainty.

It took the better part of an hour to clear the remaining miscreants from the museum. She had been lucky. As she snuck in, she spotted two shooters on an upper level engaged with Mr. Revolutionary War. That gave her the distraction she needed to rapidly take them down. The dog, of course, had already jetted off into the building. He was certainly a puzzle.

There were three steps up to the main floor of the museum lobby and on the far side was a gate, but it was locked so she took a side hallway that wound around into a room full of mannequins. Not creepy at all. Further in she took down a third raider and moved upstairs.

She heard two of them arguing over something, loudly. Why don't they just blow a bugle? she mused. But before she could get all the way into the room, the dog had already dispatched one in the hall and had the other one pinned down inside, right in front of the Revolutionary War mural. She put him out of his misery.

Eventually they cleared the place and entered a room where Mr. Revolutionary War was. He told her his name was Preston Garvey and made the introductions to his group, sharing with her how they had escaped some huge massacre in Quincy and used more terminology she wasn’t familiar with (like speaking of ghouls as if they were actual beings, for one). Preston said he was with the Minutemen, which seemed rather odd since they were around a few centuries even before her time. She was in no place mentally to start asking questions and just smiled.

Tess noticed that the dog had immediately gone to sit at the feet of the blind looking woman on the couch, Mama Murphy. She found out the old woman knew the dog and said his name was – are you ready? – Dogmeat. Not exactly the moniker she would have given him but, hey, he seemed to like it so, why not.

And more irony, they were headed to settle somewhere called Sanctuary. Could her first day in this mindfuck of a world get any stranger? She agreed to help them and said she would come back for them but there was something she needed to do first. She was curious what Jake wanted to talk to her about. Preston said they needed to rest anyway and had planned to leave in the morning.

Jake watched Tess and the pooch crouch and quickly enter the museum. Normally he'd never let a woman do something dangerous alone. Not that they weren't capable—especially this one—but it was just his upbringing.

Jesus, she probably thinks you're a complete coward!

He frowned. Everything had just happened so fast he didn't really have time to think. But his arm was definitely a mess. He left a trail of blood in the store all the way up to the second floor where he had his med kit. Grimacing, he opened it and pulled out a couple of stimpaks and sat down, leaning against the wall. The first one started working immediately—at least the pain was subsiding—but he could feel that the bullet had nicked bone and that was going to need a second dose. It took a while but the bleeding finally stopped.

His thoughts wandered back to this new woman and he wondered who she was. She seemed so... clean. And where'd she get a rifle like that? Further, how'd she learn to shoot it that well? He had to admit that for a split second when he saw her, he thought she was a Gunner. But the fatigues she was wearing were different from any he’d seen on them. Hell they were different than anything he’d seen, period. Now he really wanted to know her story.

He was very grateful she had been willing to help because he had one look at that group of unarmed folk and knew their story. He'd seen it more times than he could count. They were displaced. They were trying to survive. And seeing those pieces of shit trying to kill them for sport and the items on their backs just hit a nerve, and if he went down protecting them, then so be it.

But truth be told he was sure glad Tess had come by when she did or he might've bled out. He had not been anticipating a shootout today and mentally vowed to never be without a stim or two on his person from now on.

It was becoming hard to keep his eyes open. Damn adrenaline crash. She sure was pretty, though. Hair like sunshine and green eyes the color of the sea. So different from anyone, so… different... He trailed off and fell asleep.

Tess left the museum and headed to the corner hardware store. She didn’t see Jake, but she did see an alarming swathe of blood along the floor. She immediately pulled her rifle and crouched, heading toward the stairs as quietly as possible. As usual, the dog took off. Damn it. But this time there were no shrieks of pain, no bullets flying. What she did hear was someone weakly laughing. She trotted up to the second floor to find Jake sprawled out against a wall being mauled with dog kisses.

“Okay boy, okay, thanks but mmmmpphh,” he grunted, closing his mouth against the barrage of dog tongue.

She started laughing. “Seems you’ve made a friend.” She moved over to him, crouching down to look at the wound. “How’s the arm?”

“It’s fine, nothin’ a couple stimpaks couldn’t handle.” He sounded exhausted.

She was surprised. Two hundred years later and there were still stimpaks floating around? Regardless, she was going to guard the few she had like they were the crown jewels, just in case.

’Hey,” he said, “I’m sorry I didn’t go in there with you to help, feelin' kinda bad about that, but–”

“Yeah. Sure,” she interrupted. “I can always use a partner whose arm is falling off to back me up.” She smirked at him and he started laughing.

“Glad you understand, just didn’t want you thinkin' I was throwin’ you to the wolves.”

Tess really liked the way light refracted in his hazel eyes. There was a lot of green in them, surrounded by a ring of brown.

Her smile dropped from her face like a stone and her heart suddenly stung as her mind flashed to her husband, frozen in a cryopod. She’d never see him again. Never hold him, smell him... love him. Her entire body began to ache as she realized everything had been thrown at her all at once. She had been tossed into a meat grinder and spit out into a hellish world she no longer recognized. 

In the last 24 hours, she had gone from planning a picnic on a stunning October day to having a shootout with smelly bandits. From being in her beautiful house to seeing it in tatters in a post apocalyptic wasteland. From looking lovingly into the eyes of her husband, to finding him dead in a vault. And someone had stolen their baby.

She sat down and felt everything in her body being drained out through her pores, as if she was now nothing; a cosmic spec of dust floating in the air with nothing to tether it. Her life was gone. Her world was gone. She wished she could have just stayed frozen. But she had to find Shaun.

“Tess?” Jake asked gently. “Are you all right?”

She fought hard to stave the tears but she could feel her eyes welling up.

“Hey, hey,” Jake moved next to her. “It’s all right, darlin', you did it, they’re all dead, right? You helped those people?”

Now she really started to cry. She felt Jake gently place an arm around her.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, “It’s just... I, well... shit!” She looked at Jake, his face was contorted with worry. What did she have to lose? She had no road map in this world, no compass, no footing.

She told him everything.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” he said, his brows knitted tightly. “I know what that’s... I mean, I understand how that can feel. Seen way too much of that kinda heartache in this world. Jesus, this must be beyond culture shock for you, I can’t even imagine.” He held her next to him in silence and let her cry.

She felt grateful, if for nothing else, to be near another human being, someone that wasn’t trying to shoot her or leave her for dead in a vault. The horrors of the day slowly ebbed into a manageable state and she sniffled, inhaling and exhaling deeply.

“Well, at least that explains why you’re so clean,” he said out of nowhere.

The absurdity of it made her start to laugh and she laughed so hard she was gasping for air. Jake looked at her curiously with a smirk. She wiped her nose with her sleeve and turned to him. “Thank you. I didn’t mean to dump all that–”

“Don’t apologize. I think after the day you’ve had you deserve to cry, scream, hell, set somethin' on fire if ya need to!”

She suddenly realized that he must be a rare individual indeed. If the small bit of this world she’d seen so far was any indication, most people were hostile assholes who preyed on the weak and vulnerable. She found Jake thoughtful, caring, and to her embarrassment, intelligent. She leaned into his shoulder and he embraced her.

“Thank you,” she said meekly.

“You’re welcome,” he replied softly.

They sat together in silence.

Chapter Text

Tess’s stomach started to growl. It was apparently quite loud as Jake startled at the sound and looked at her. “When’s the last you ate?”

It sang a tune for him in response. She blushed and realized she hadn’t eaten in over 200 years. Two hundred fucking years! Well, except for one hideous MRE, which she decided did not count as actually eating. She thought again on the science of cryosleep. She had been frozen over two centuries ago. Would something happen to her if she ate in this new world? Would her 2077 stomach be able to process food from this time? 

“Actually, this morning,” she replied ruefully, “But apparently it wasn’t enough.” She grabbed her pack and rummaged through it until she found the MREs, selected one and then offered another to Jake. “You want one?”

His eyes grew wide, the same look he had when she first appeared after the shootout. “Is there anything you don’t have from your time?” he asked with surprise, looking over the packet with much the same expression she imagined a child having on Christmas morning. “I’ve only seen a few of these around in my entire life. Most of ’em are buried deep inside places even you might not wanna venture.” He read the label and sat rapt in awe for a few moments.

She grinned at his boyish wonder. “My husband was quite the survivalist. Well, so was I to an extent. I’m glad he had the forethought to...” she trailed off. Her eyes stung again. Fuck.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean–”

She turned to look at him. “You did nothing wrong,” she said gently. “I’m still just trying to process. It still feels like at any moment I’m going to wake up from all this.” She sighed sadly. “But I know that’s not going to happen. I appreciate your concern. But you might not feel so charitable once you get some of that in your mouth.”

He looked at the MRE again and tore it open. She watched with gleeful anticipation. He started finger spooning it into his mouth, each dip faster than the last, little moans of pleasure escaping between each mouthful. Her jaw dropped in shock.

“I haven’t tasted anything this good in, well... ever!” He slurped up the remains and grinned at her.

She just shook her head. If this was any indication of the cuisine of the times, she feared for her future indeed. “You’re kidding,” she said flatly. But watching him lick his fingers clean was proof positive. “Dear god I think I’m even more scared now than I was.”

His brow furrowed as he looked back at her, his thumb sliding out of his mouth as he cleaned off the last morsel. “How so?”

“If you think that actually tastes good, I don’t even want to know what passes for food in your world.”

“You’re probably right,” he laughed, “you probably don’t.”

She sat quietly again, forcing down the MRE she had opened. Then she offered Jake a bottle of water and he rolled it over in his hands, looking back at her.

“I’ve seen military water provisions here and there, but never like this.” He unscrewed the cap and drank it down to the bottom. Then he wiped the back of his hand over his lips and let out a satisfied ‘ahhh.’

And then he burped.

The color of wine his face turned after that outburst made Tess laugh from her belly. He looked like he didn’t know whether to run or dig a hole and bury himself. It was truly hilarious. “Don’t people burp in your world?” she wheezed out. “They sure did in mine.”

“Well, sure, but... I mean, it didn’t seem polite in front of... shit, what I mean is…”

She snickered at his attempt at decorum. “Jake, I’m a big girl. I can handle someone burping, okay?” His sheepish expression was very amusing.

”So Jake, you asked me to come by after...?”

“Oh right!” he shot up to his feet. “I wanted to ask your opinion on somethin’. Come on, follow me.” He led her back downstairs and they both looked at the blood which was starting to congeal. He turned to her and shrugged. “Eh, don’t worry about that, gives the place a dash of color, no?”

She raised her eyebrows, glancing back down at the floor, then followed him around the counter. On it was a decaying cash register and some boxes that looked as though a sneeze would disintegrate them. In front of the counter was a table set up with some old electronic equipment and devices she had never seen before. She picked one up and turned it over, examining it.

“Actually, that’s parta what I wanted to talk to you about. That device was manufactured by RobCo and they help people build structures, like houses and workplaces ’n such. I’ve been checkin’ out the electronics inside, seein’ what’s what, how they work, and I have an idea.” He looked at her hopefully.

Well, wasn’t this a new wrinkle in the enigma that was Jake Evans. He had electronics skills, possibly even programming abilities. Impressive for this world, as far as she could tell. “And they work?”

“Yes and no. I’ve only cracked a few different types of buildings in their programming so far, did a couple field tests, but I know there’s more. I did give a handful to a few groups of people that wanted to try and settle down, supposed to get back with them at some point.”

“Okay, so what’s this idea of yours?”

“I figure since these things actually do what it says on the tin, then maybe I could help more folks to start buildin’ for themselves. Y’know, instead of wanderin’ around tryna find some makeshift shelter or some place that only ends up gettin’ overrun with raiders, or worse, the Gunners.”

She placed the device back down on the table. “Gunners?”

“Oh, right, well, the Gunners are sorta like the raiders, only they have all the weapons, gear and whatever tech they’ve found as a bonus. And they’re organized. But they’re ruthless and you don’t ever wanna cross their path. Trust me.” His face was grim as he finished.

“So these Gunners are attacking civilians?”

“They could, but I’m not really sure if they are. Though if folks started gettin’ settled, you know, havin’ their own places, it could get their attention. I haven’t done all the math yet to be honest, but I really just wanna help people out, like the ones you helped in the museum. I figure if enough people start havin’ a place to call home, build up somethin’ more solid than a lean-to, they could defend it. Maybe bring back some civilization to the wastes. Whadda ya think?”

She studied him for a moment. His sincerity was obvious and she admired that. “So, let me get this straight. These devices can help people build structures, and by doing so, stop them from being homeless and have towns or settlements they’d be able to defend?”

Jake nodded.

“Where do I sign?”

His smile lit up the room. “You’d be willing to help me with this? Really?”

She smiled at him “I don’t see why not, and um...” she pulled up her left sleeve and pretended to scroll through her Pip-boy. “Hmm, nope, no meetings or other engagements on the calendar in the foreseeable future. You’re lucky Mr. Evans, my schedule is clear.”

“Hot damn! Boy I sure am glad you wandered into Concord. Hell, I don’t even know what to say!” He held out a hand as if to shake on the deal.

“Oh please.” She stepped in and gave him a hug and then laughed as he got all flustered and blushed again. He was a character.

She studied his face, wondering how someone so outgoing could be that shy around a woman. Maybe in this world no one had anyone. Maybe he didn’t have or ever have a woman – or a man? There were so many things she didn’t know about this timeline it made her head hurt. But one thing she did know; Jake Evans was truly, and achingly attractive.

“Um, yes, well, glad to have you on board, darlin’!”

She had to admit, the darlin’ was growing on her, although, having known people from the south, it was just part of their vocabulary. She didn’t hate it though.

“So Jake, how does this all work, what’s the plan?”

They had moved back upstairs. It was obvious that this small second floor space had been used for storage and inventory back when the place was an actual hardware store. There were boxes – barely holding together – that were labeled with brands that she remembered, especially after the work she and Nate had done constructing the bunker. Now they were just faded remnants of a time long gone to the denizens of this timeline. They sat on the floor, talking until the sun was setting, Jake telling her his ideas, Tess asking probing questions and both of them sharing parts of their personal stories.

The deep ochre and umbra tones of early evening filled the sky. The rickety flooring and A-frame roof darkening as the sun set. Jake set about lighting a couple of oil lamps and Tess immediately had a flashback of watching Nate’s favorite Westerns on TV where all the homes and towns were lit by gas light, but shut that shit down quick. She was relaxed, safe, and enjoying her conversation with Jake. It was a much needed distraction, and another fit of the sobs wasn’t welcome right now.

Once the sun had slipped behind the horizon and the conversation was winding down, Tess’s body started to ache and she realized just how tired she was. She yawned and immediately regretted it.

“Oh Tess, I’m sorry, I tend to get carried away and–”

“Jake, you really need to stop apologizing. I’m enjoying your company. And I think your ideas are truly inspired. It’s just the execution you’re going to have to help with because I don’t know shit or Shinola about your world.”

Jake grinned. “Well, I’m actually relatively new to these parts myself, but I’ve been here long enough to have trekked over most of the Commonwealth and with my knowledge of what’s where, and your skill with that rifle of yours, I’m sure we’ll be able to figure it all out. But for now I think you need some rest, so come on, I’m not allowin’ a lady to wander off in the dark, no matter how good a shot she is.”

He got up and rummaged through a large Fallon’s box and pulled out a sleeping bag that was more or less the equivalent of taking a bedspread and laying it in your driveway. And she thought her body was aching now? She feared the morning.

And then there were the dreams.

They were faceless. 

She recognized military fatigues, an array of weapons that would have taken out half the Chinese in Alaska, but she couldn’t make out their features. 

Her heart raced with fear. 

They marched, they marched… closer and closer. 

They entered the hardware store. They stormed the stairs and opened fire.

She felt the burning of bullets pierce her flesh, slide into her body, searing pain and then screaming…

“Tess! Hey, hey, shhhh, it’s okay.”

Strong arms were holding her, rocking her, smoothing her hair. It was Jake. She was shaking so badly she couldn’t speak, tears stained her face. Her eyes started darting around looking for the men, and then she finally realized it had just been a dream.

“Oh my god Jake, the Gunners. I think it was the Gunners!” she cried.

“No, no darlin', it’s all right, nobody here but us chickens, okay?” He shushed her and held her closer.

Was this her life now? Was she just going to be a blob of nightmares and tears? A memory came to the surface, one of her training sessions with Nate. He had said ‘no matter how much you train, no matter how ready you think you are, you’ll never really know what you can handle until you’re face to face with it.’ Boy, was that ever the truth!

Now she felt as if she had failed him. She had finally come ‘face to face with it’ and crumbled. Would he be disappointed in her? Would he have pushed her to fight harder? How was she ever going to make it in this new reality without him? She choked down a tight lump in her throat.

The only consolation, the only anchor she had now was this remarkable, strange man: Jake Evans. He wasn’t battle-hardened in a war sense, but he had battled. He wasn’t of a military mind, but he was brilliant in his own right. He was so different from Nate. They were polar opposites in many ways. But Jake had known exactly what to do to calm and assure her. She looked up at him, ashamed of being so pitiful, quickly wiping at her nose in case it was running. “I’m sorry Jake, it was just a really bad dream.”

Concern etched his face in the dim moonlight that cast eerie glowing beams from the cracks and holes in the roof. “Hey, I think bad dreams are part of the package here. We all have ‘em. And considerin’ what your day’s been like, I’d be worried if you didn’t have any.” He picked stray hairs from her face and smiled at her.

She lowered her head. “I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know how to do this.” She sniffled.

“Well, Tess, everyone knows how to be alive. You just breathe, and you keep breathin’. There’s no ‘how’, it just is. Now if you’re talkin’ about wantin’ to give up, then shit, I don’t buy it. Not from what I’ve seen about you so far.” He tilted her chin up, his face earnest. “Look, I can’t even begin to imagine what all this is like for you, but trust me, I’ve had my share of shit flung in my face. If you don’t figure out the why of it all, for you, then you’re right, there’s no point. I can’t imagine that kinda thinkin’ is all that different than it was in your time.”

This man had wisdom she didn’t even think he realized himself. Maybe he could help her get through this. Maybe even help her find Shaun? She just didn’t know. Her first night out in the world and she was already terrified of men she’d never seen. Still not able to completely unpack everything she had seen and been through for the past 24 hours. But if Jake could find meaning in this cruel place, then why should she be any different? He was right. 

She nodded at him. “Yes, of course. It’s just that the dream was so... vivid. I actually felt it.”

He turned up the flame in one of the gas lamps and scooted back to her side, providing a comforting arm around her shoulders. “Tell me.”

She explained the dream and he nodded. “Well, that there’s your perfect example of the power of suggestion. I think we’ll start to choose our conversation topics a tad better, hm?” That elicited a smile from her. “Now how am I ever gonna be able to enjoy those pretty green eyes of yours if you keep makin’ ’em red, huh?”

This time she giggled, feeling her face heat up.

“Now come on, still a few more hours ‘til daylight, try and get some sleep, okay?”

“Thanks Jake, I really appreciate you.”

“Yeah, well, you ain’t seen my bad side yet, so, fair warning.” He winked and got back into his bedding, watching her for a moment before lowering the flame of the lamp down to a dim glow.

She turned on her side to look in his direction. She still had so many questions, but they could wait. She really was tired. Within moments sleep claimed her.

Chapter Text

Tess slowly woke up, her arm instinctively reaching over to touch Nate. Her eyes opened and she groaned with realization. Her hair was now in her face, on the floor, everywhere. “Shit,” she complained. Did she remember to pack a comb or brush?

She was reaching for her pack when she realized Jake was not in his bedding and then she smelled something. Was that food? Her stomach immediately did a back flip. Dogmeat, who had been sleeping right next to her, raised his head and wagged his tail.

She looked around the floor until she found her hair tie then quickly tossed her unbrushed hair into a ponytail and headed toward the smell. There was a door from the small room that opened to the roof of the building. Jake was sitting on a makeshift cinder block stool bent over a large pot hanging from a stand. Some sort of stew was gently roiling inside.

“Well good mornin’! Sleep good?” he smiled at her.

Tess stretched, enjoying the fresh air. It seemed so clean and fresh in relation to the dying world around her. Probably because there are no more cars and factories, she surmised. “Actually I did, thanks.” She eyed the pot he was stirring. “Should I ask what it is?”

Jake chuckled. “Don’t worry, everything in this would be available in your way-back-when.” He stood for a moment and opened a container. It had something in it that she decided not to question. He tossed it to Dogmeat who gratefully started gnawing away at it and then he returned to the pot.

She sauntered over and looked closer. It was all vegetables, as far as she could tell. Huh. “So there’s no meat? Not that I’m complaining,” she gestured with her palms forward, “just that, well, you know, from what I’ve seen...” she thought of that putrid cow from yesterday and shuddered. “I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet.”

’Nope,” Jake said, grinning as he stirred. “True, there’s not a whole hell of a lot to eat around here, but I’m not bad at scavvin'. I’ve found a lot of tinned goods and I keep them all in stashes around the Wealth; places no one would bother to look.” He turned his head and grinned up at her, “I gotta keep my girlish figure somehow, right?”

She laughed. Jake obviously had a great sense of humor. Nate had made her laugh, but he wasn’t as fluid and in-the-moment as Jake was. It was strange, she had never expected to compare her husband to anyone else. I mean, why would she? But she’d never needed to find an ally in an alien world that was trying to kill her before either.

“It sure smells good." She looked around, squinting in the sun when a thought came to her. “Jake, do the people here keep track of days and times, months and so on?”

“Some do, some don’t.” he answered, stirring the stew. “To some, every day is just another day. Then there are others who keep calendars, mark the sun and the hours. Hell, I know for a fact in Diamond City they have clocks that have been calibrated to the correct time, or as close as they could. Why?” he asked curiously.

“This Pip-boy from the vault, the display is malfunctioning. I can’t see any dates or times on it.”

Jake looked thoughtful for a moment. “I’m sure that’s fixable.” He winked at her, tapped the ladle on the side of the pot, then hung it on the horizontal bar of the cooking station.

She was lost in thought then felt him looking at her. He stood and walked over.

“I get it, this is all a huge adjustment,” he began, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. “I may not know everything from your time, but I know enough. I’m willing to help you adjust, if you like.” Before she could answer he took her hand and led her to a stack of crates. “Sit.” She did. Then he took a couple of mismatched bowls and returned to the pot, ladling out some stew into each. He even had spoons. “Eat,” he gently ordered.

Holding the bowl in her hands she stared at it for a moment. It reminded her of a time she and Nate had the Whitfields over for dinner. Codsworth had made them a hearty beef stew with steaming, buttered bread rolls. It was such a simple meal but it had been delicious and the couples had enjoyed a delightful evening, sharing stories, laughing. And afterward, Nate had lit the fireplace and they sat on the couch, cuddled together, just... being. 

Shit.

She put the spoon in the bowl, filled it up and tentatively put it in her mouth. The first thing she tasted was very earthy, like a legume of some sort, but the rest tasted like regular vegetables and broth. It was actually good. She took another spoonful and gladly downed it, and then another.

“Easy there, tiger,” Jake snickered.

Tess wiped her mouth. “This is surprisingly good, thanks Jake,” she said, shoveling more food into her mouth.

“Happy to oblige, ma’am.”

She looked back down to find her bowl was completely empty and happily, she was sated. She set it down and stretched again. Fuck sleeping on the floor! Now she knew what a football practice dummy felt like. At least the second half of her sleep was sound and dreamless.

“That was delicious. Hell, you keep making that and you can have all my MREs!”

“You’re on!”

She sighed in thought for a moment and then an idea occurred to her. “Jake, there’s something I want to run by you.”

He set his bowl in his lap and looked at her expectantly. “What’s that?”

“I was thinking, I mean since you seem to be so good with electronics, what if we used the vault as a home base? In my old life we had a Mr. Handy, his name is Codsworth, and believe it or not he’s still in Sanctuary. I think the three of us could get in there, maybe fire the place up. We’d be able to offer people real beds, lights and even showers.”

Jake’s spoon slipped from his fingers into his bowl with a clank. He looked awestruck. “You really think we could do that? I mean, the vaults I’ve come across are locked up tighter’n a Brotherhood bunker. You can get back in there?”

Diamond City. Brotherhood. Deathclaw. She needed to start an ‘ask Jake about this’ list.

“Well, since I opened the exit with my Pip-boy, the guard post outside will now allow us to power the lift down. And I already cleaned most of the place out from those hideous, disgusting... things.” She felt her skin crawl, but continued. “I would never in a thousand years have expected to see what I saw.” Jake’s face was transfixed, like he had checked out. “Jake, what is it?”

He returned from wherever he had been and shook his head slightly. “Oh, sorry, it’s just, I mean I’ve always wanted to see the inside of one of the vaults. I’d hoped to find more tech for my projects. Even thought I might come across a better Pip-boy. This one took years to find. But to not only go into a vault but use it as housing? Well, that’s... that’s amazing! Great idea, darlin’! I can see that this partnership is definitely goin’ places!”

His smile had a magic. He was so natural, so at ease with himself, and it was contagious. It was almost enough to soothe the agony of her situation. But there was also a sadness behind his eyes. Some deep seated… something that felt guarded, like a wound that never healed.

She smiled back at him. “Good. Glad you agree. But there’s something we need to take care of there first...” she started, her voice cracking slightly on the last word.

“Oh Tess, I’m so sorry, I’m an idiot, I shoulda thought of that myself!” He reached for one of her hands and gave it a squeeze. “Look, you let me handle this, all right? Why don’t you think of a spot he liked there in your town, somewhere you can visit. You said those people in the museum are going to Sanctuary, right? I’m sure I could get the men they have to help me and we’ll even have a service for him. Does that sound good?”

A few tears got away from her and Jake reached over, wiping them away with his thumb. She nodded, “Jake, thank you so much, that sounds lovely. But...” she bit her lip, thinking, “I may need to, you know, show you where he is unless you think you all want to wander around in there till you find him?” Her heart felt like it was tied to a boulder and tossed into the deepest waters of the ocean. They were planning an actual funeral. There were so many little details to attend to, so much to go through to say goodbye to someone.

“Is the place that big?” Jake asked.

“To be honest, I really don’t know. We were shuffled into these bays where the pods were and told they were going to decontaminate us. The bastards.” She felt her anger simmering. “When I got out of my pod I just fumbled through rooms until I found the way out. I wasn’t in the best mindset to remember where to go left or right.”

She sighed deeply. “I think what I’d like to do is go with you and send you all down, at least then you’ll know where the control panel is.” She felt the sting in her eyes yet again. “Now that I’m thinking about this I’m really not sure I could handle going in there until we’ve laid him to rest. And my neighbors. My poor neighbors!” She was trembling again.

Jake stood up and pulled her with him then gripped her shoulders. “Don’t you worry. It’ll be done.”

She smiled at him with total gratitude and watched as he collected their bowls. Taking a few deep breaths, she reminded herself that she had to stay focused on moving forward. “So, Preston said his crew was heading out today and I thought we could join them. Maybe you could even show them some of those gizmos of yours, help them get started, then we can recruit some of them to, you know...” she paused, composing herself. “I can talk to Codsworth as well about the plan.”

“Let’s do it,” Jake said. “Oh, and by the way, those ‘gizmos’ are called ASAMs.” He chuckled at her reaction. “Don’t look at me, I didn’t name ’em,” he smiled. “I’ll pack up some gear while you go fetch them folks and meet you out front.”

“Sounds like a plan.” It was such a relief to know that her husband wouldn’t just melt and rot in that fucking pod. He deserved a final resting place. Tess made her way down the stairs then stopped to look at the floor and decided Jake was right. The blood really did give the place a pop of color.

Holy fuck, was she acclimating that fast?

Shaking her head with a sigh she left the hardware store.

The sun was bright outside. The banner hanging from the small museum balcony undulated in the faint breeze that blew in from the east. The streets were hauntingly quiet and she hoped that it would remain that way.

As she walked toward the museum she felt a lightness in her heart now that Jake had agreed to help her. There was no way she could have taken care of Nate. Not just because he would have been too heavy for her to transport, but because, at this point, she would never have been able to complete the task emotionally. Jake’s offer had lifted a considerable weight from her. And once they could actually move into the vault... Well, that would help to transform a place of horror into a place full of life.

Entering the museum, Tess immediately saw Preston and his group in the lobby of the building. They were all chatting, rolling up gear, obviously preparing for their journey. She looked at each of them, hoping she remembered their names. The man and woman on the floor were Jun and Marcy Long. The rockabilly looking guy with the overalls and pompadour was... Sturges, Preston of course, and the mysterious Mama Murphy. Once she got that sorted to mind she walked in to meet them.

Preston stepped forward. “Ma’am we can’t thank you enough for what you did for us. If only there were more people like you in the Commonwealth.”

“Was glad to help, Preston. Are you guys all right now?”

“We should be once we get to Sanctuary. Mama Murphy saw it, saw that we would settle there.”

Tess turned to look at Marcy who had just coughed and muttered something under her breath. And then Mama Murphy stood, looking directly at Tess with her cataract eyes. “Your son is alive. I can feel his energy. Go to Diamond City. Go to the Great Green Jewel...” And that was it. She sat back down like nothing had happened.

Not unnerving at all. Not a bit.

She looked around but no one said a word. There was that ‘Diamond City’ again. She had to ask. “Mama Murphy? You know about my son? What is Diamond City, it’s a place, right? Where is it? Is Shaun there?”

The old woman blinked and then looked up at Tess. “Sorry, kid, what did you say?”

Tess just stared at her. “You just told me about my son. You mentioned ‘Diamond City.’ How do you know about my son?”

Marcy groaned sarcastically.

“Yes, it’s the Sight. Sometimes I get … pieces of things. Things from now, things from then, things from tomorrow. But, it’s not always clear. Sometimes chems help it along.”

O... K... This woman was either the real deal – a tad creepy – or a complete lunatic. But her companions didn’t seem to react. Well, that is except for Marcy, but from the brief moments she’d spent with this group, she had sized her up as a bit of a sourpuss. But how could the old woman know about her son? She’d never told them a thing.

Preston’s voice, “No, Mama, you need to lay off that shit, they’re no good for you!”

“Preston, do you even know how old I am? I was wipin’ snot off my kids’ noses before your grandmama was outta her diapers,” she quipped back.

Tess had to hold back a laugh. She liked this old woman. However, she wasn’t sure about those house shoes. Why on earth would someone wander this desolate landscape in slippers? She made another mental note to add to the pile to find this poor lady some actual shoes.

But then her mind started replaying her time in the museum. Did she actually say anything about Shaun? Had she been that out of it? There was no other way this woman could have known. Just as she was about to further question Mama Murphy, Marcy stood up looking like someone had just pissed in her Sugar Bombs.

“How long are we gonna keep listening to this shit? Huh? ’Oh, I seen it, I see the future, I know where we’re going,’” she berated sarcastically. But before she could say anything further, the stoic Sturges stepped in.

“Now hold on, let’s not get all riled up. What’s the problem here Marcy? Do you have a better idea? Are you in possession of some knowledge we don’t have? How’s about you tell us where we should go then.”

Marcy sat down without a word, but Jesus, Tess could feel the heat blasting from her. Why was this woman so angry? She turned her attention to Preston. “I’m going to take the trek with you, and I have a new friend I’d like you all to meet,” – except you Marcy – “who’s right outside. I think you might like what he has to tell you. Shall we go?”

Preston helped Mama Murphy to her feet, Sturges followed, and then Marcy got up in a huff, stormed off for the door, then stopped to yell at her husband. “Come on Jun, it’s time to go!”

No wonder the poor man looked so beaten down. “Oh, okay, coming,” he answered meekly. Tess just shook her head and left the building with them.

Outside, true to his word, Jake was waiting for them. He had a large pack on his back and there was a medium sized RobCo box at his feet. Tess went to stand next to him. “Jake Evans, may I present the survivors of Quincy. This fine gentleman here is Preston Garvey, then there’s Jun and Marcy Long, Sturges, who apparently doesn’t have a last name,” chuckles all around, “and last, but not least, Mama Murphy.”

Jake nodded his head in greeting. “Very nice to meet you all. Glad you’re all safe and unharmed. This lady here is somethin’ special. She has my gratitude as well. Saved my life, in fact.”

If Tess’s face got any hotter she would spontaneously combust. She wasn’t expecting rave reviews like that. She really did just want that shiny badge.

Preston stepped forward and shook Jake’s hand. “Pleasure.” The others said their hellos. Well, all but one.

“Everyone ready?” Tess asked.

The group of them made the walk out of Concord, chatting and sharing their tales with Tess. They seemed like good people who had just had a bad run of luck. It made her feel proud that she had helped them. If there were others out there like them, she realized she wanted to do what she could to help. People deserved kindness and safety. And those who made the decision to prey upon them deserved what they got.

She also realized something else; she wasn’t feeling anything about the fact that she had just killed people. Shot and killed other human beings. Granted, she probably would have wanted to just from their actions, but her mind was still in her time, she was still a lawyer. And yet she had taken them all out as if she had done this every day. What was she becoming? Maybe she had come ‘face to face with it’ after all.

As they passed the rotting cow corpse Tess grimaced, unable to look at it and kept her eyes on the group. That is until Dogmeat did an encore performance of his guard-and-growl almost exactly where he had the previous day. She damn near fell over him as he locked in place.

Preston seemed to alert as well, pulling up his rifle. It was so quiet you could hear a flea fart, but then she heard something. It was a low rumble, like a shovel being dragged across gravel, only under the ground. She glanced at Jake who had already drawn his pistol. And then she saw them. There were not enough what the actual fucks left in her for this.

If she had to describe the things that came flying out of holes in the ground, she’d say shaved guinea pig mixed with beavers and a side of baby pig. It was so ridiculous, so surreal, so horrifying that she actually had no reaction at all. Just instinct. And that instinct was to have a rifle in her hands, right this damn minute.

She immediately flanked the one on the left and saw Preston go right. Sturges grabbed Jun, Marcy and Mama Murphy and pulled them further back. Dogmeat was already at work on one of them as everyone started firing. But the fucking things would go back under the ground! It was like playing whack-a-mole, with the prize being—Congratulations, you get to live today!

It only took a few minutes and they were finally all dead. The sounds had died out and it was dead quiet again, save for her heaving breaths and those of her companions. Tess raised her hand like a kid in school. They looked at her, puzzled. “Excuse me. Excuse me, people. I’d like to politely ask you all something.”

“What in the blue fuck were those?”

Sturges was dying laughing, hell even Marcy accidentally let out a snicker. Jake was laughing and even Preston let out a chuckle.

“Sorry,” Jake began with a snicker, “I shoulda given you some wasteland bestiary lessons before we headed out. Those are what we call molerats. As you can see, they burrow in the ground and pop up at ya, like moles. ’Cept they’re a tad bigger than the ones you probably remember.”

She looked at him incredulously. “Ya think?” But then she started laughing, too. “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, they scared the shit outta me!” She held her hand over her thundering heart. “I marvel at you all, surviving things like this, I really do.”

She noticed that Preston had gone quiet and his face had turned serious. “Tess,” he started, “How is it that you don’t know about molerats? And I noticed when we first met you had a strange look when I mentioned ghouls.” He looked at Jake then back at Tess. “I’m sensing something here, what’s going on?”

She looked at Jake and he said, “This is all you, darlin’.”

“Well,” she started, and proceeded to tell them about the vault, frozen by Vault-Tec in 2077, how she escaped, ended up in Concord to see if other people might be alive, and the rest was history. There were some astonished gasps, a couple of wows, and then – surprise, surprise – one voice that just had to be that person who shit on the birthday cake.

“Oh, great. Like we didn’t have enough with Murphy, now we have a time traveler?” Marcy scoffed.

Tess had had enough. She marched right over to the unpleasant woman and got in her face.

“Look, lady, I know you’ve all been through something horrible. I know living in this world of yours is no picnic. But you need to watch your mouth. You disrespect an elderly woman because you just don’t happen to believe what she says? Well boo fucking hoo for you. But if you have a problem with me, I suggest you take it up with me. No one needs your snide comments right now.”

Everyone was frozen in place, shock on their faces. Marcy was clenching her fists but didn’t move.

“Good,” Tess finished. Can we go now?” She didn’t wait for a reply, she simply motioned at Dogmeat who trotted right by her side up the road toward Sanctuary. She heard footfalls behind her, catching up.

“Tess?” Jake called, his voice soft. “Hey,” he gently took her arm. His mouth opened to speak but then he suddenly burst out laughing and quickly put his hand over his mouth to muffle it.

She was still fuming but Jake flipped her mood like a light switch.

“I’m sorry darlin’, but... damn, you are a little spitfire!”

She tried hard not to crack a smile, she really did. “Shut up,” she managed, then snaked her arm through his and they smiled all the way to Sanctuary.

It was around noon when they made it to the wooden bridge where Tess stopped for a moment, really looking at her home town again. A breeze was blowing over the narrow river that ran under the bridge. She could smell the water, the earth, the trees. It should have brought her comfort but she felt numb. Dogmeat turned and looked up at her, giving a small whimper in sympathy. She gave him a wan smile. “Yeah, buddy, I used to live here.”

Preston was passing on her right. “Did I hear you say you used to live here?”

She nodded sadly. “Yes. Until 2077. Until the day we fled into that vault.” Her eyes returned to the sad vista of empty and ruined houses that had been so pristine and welcoming only a couple of days ago. “It was a pretty place then, Preston. Green grass, picket fences. Great neighbors...” she trailed off.

“Damn,” Preston said, joining her in taking in the view. “I really am sorry. It seems we all have similar problems, losing our homes and loved ones, but I can’t imagine having to do it in a world I don’t even know anymore. Just know that I’m here for you if you ever need me. That’s what being a Minuteman is all about. But I really mean it. You saved our asses and we owe you.”

She smiled at him. “I appreciate that Preston. After being shot at by those bastard raiders, I’m starting to feel a spark of hope meeting people like you guys. I need to find my son, but if I’m going to be living out my life in this world, I don’t see why I can’t also help make it a better place for him until I do.”

He put a hand on her shoulder, “He’s going to be so happy to see you again, you’ll see. And if there’s any way I can help you find him, just holler.” He strode off with the rest of his people to look over their new home.

Jake stayed by her side on the bridge. They stood for a while, feeling the noon day sun and the cool breeze. All these people gave her hope for her life in this altered reality. But would she ever really adjust? Completely feel a part of this world? She just didn’t know.

Everything was still so new and raw. Her heart was so heavy. The loss still not fully comprehended, let alone processed. If it weren’t for the need to find her baby, and the companionship of this remarkable man at her side, she may have thought about chewing on that Glock.

She smiled at Jake and he smiled back. “Shall we?” she said.

“Lead on, ma’am.”

They headed into town.

Chapter Text

They were nearing her former neighbors’ house, the Rosas, and it dawned on Tess that she hadn't even noticed the workbench still intact in their carport. She remembered Nate going over there frequently to use it for whatever project he was working on, or mod he was making for their weapons. She sighed deeply, trying to push the memory away.

Up ahead she saw Preston speaking with Sturges and right in front of her old house stood Mama Murphy, looking directly at her. Jesus. She was as precognitive as Dogmeat. How could such a dead world hold such strange magic? she wondered.

She stopped and Jake looked at her. Their eyes met and she felt something pass between them. Was she feeling these things out of a need for closeness with another person? Was it actually Jake himself that made her feel that way? She was so confused, so heartbroken, so... broken. He looked around then back at her.

“So, this is Sanctuary,” he said. “Um, what's the plan now?” His eyes were tinged with something she hadn't seen since meeting him. It was like the glassiness right before tears well up, or the faraway look of a forlorn soul lost somewhere they can't recall. She wondered what was on his mind.

“I think for now maybe get settled in, see if these people need anything? I need to have a chat with Mama Murphy, okay?”

“Of course, darlin’, I'd be happy to.” He stood there for a moment then turned to go.

“Hey, Jake,” she called. “When I'm done with my chat I wanna show you something.”

“Sounds good, see you then.” She watched him as he headed for the other men. He was a wonder, that Jake Evans. An anomaly in a world that made no sense; a harsh land with harsher people and no order. A man she at least hoped she could call friend. But now, it was time to go meet Mama Murphy.

“I knew you'd come here kid. Your energy is tied to this place,” the old woman spoke as she approached. “Come, let's go talk.” The woman linked arms with Tess and they entered her old house.

Tess almost passed out as they crossed the threshold. The memories were like things, and the things were attacking her all at once, an attack she had no way to avoid nor weapon to fight. Her breath began to hitch and her body was nearly convulsing. Mama led her to the couch which was actually still there, but definitely in critical condition. They sat down, dust pluming from the impact, and Tess began sobbing so hard she was hysterical. Mama Murphy ran her hand up and down her back. “I know honey, I know.”

Eventually, Tess was able to stop crying, but her body kept jerking as short, choppy intakes of breath spasmed through her. Blinking her swollen eyes she slowly turned to face the older woman, her long locks disheveled and clinging to her wet face. Mama took one of her hands and smiled at her. “You know I brought you in here on purpose, don't you,” she said as more of a statement than a question.

Tess's eyes grew larger. Fuck. She really was for real! All she could do was nod and sniffle. Mama nodded back. “I know this is so painful for you. But incredible loss always is. There's no getting around it. I already knew you were from here before we spoke. I saw you leave that pod, I saw Nate, and I saw your baby Shaun. Like I told you, he's alive and I feel his energy. I just don't know where. That’s the part you have to figure out.” She squeezed Tess’s hand.

“But if you're gonna make it, if you want to find him, then what just happened walking in here is just the beginning. I'm so sorry you had to wake up to this world instead of your own, but this is the world you're in, and you're here for a reason.” She pushed some of Tess's hair from her face.

Tess just sat silently, drinking in Mama's words. Speechless.

“And there's one more thing,” Mama continued, squeezing Tess's hand again. “I need you to look at me.” Tess complied. “This is gonna be hard to hear, but you need to hear it. While I was outside waiting for you I spoke to Nate. He is so sorry for what happened. He loves you but he wants you to have a life. He wants you to be happy. How you become happy is up to you, but know that he said 'it's all right.' He also said that he doesn't want you to hammer out that bent corner of his holotags that you two joked about.”

Tess jumped up so fast she almost crashed into the now decaying stereo system that stood at a slant under the picture window. The shock of what she just heard was almost too much, even after everything she'd been through in the last 48 hours. She stood there shaking, jaw dropped, eyes as big as saucers, unable to move, to speak, to think. She looked down at her shirt, her hand clutching her chest, feeling for the holotags under her shirt, the bent corner pressing into her finger. Her eyes slowly went back to the old woman.

“What... what are you!”

Mama Murphy chuckled softly. “Kid, there's no name for me. I'm just an old woman who's had a gift since she was five years old. I'm so old now I can't even remember when I was born. All my children have already grown old and died. My grandchildren, and probably their children and so on, live in the New California Republic. It's just me now, and these fine people I found that took me in. I'm not a what, I'm just a person with a burden that others call a gift.”

Tess was still in shock, staring at her. “But how could you know?” It was not sinking in that Mama Murphy's gift was actually real. She'd heard tales of psychic abilities, but most of them were relegated to science fiction stories and the corner charlatans who ripped people off to have their fortunes told. She'd never actually encountered someone that possessed such a powerful ability. Slowly, she started relaxing her body and returned to the couch, but sat on the very edge, prepared to bolt.

“Kid, I get it. What you're feeling right now, how you're reacting? That's all I've seen my whole life. It's at least the easiest reaction to deal with. I've been beaten up, had rocks thrown at me, shot at, even got stabbed one time now that I think on it. Point is kid, this gift is as hard for me to deal with as it is for you to hear what it tells you.” She paused, her gaze level and serious. 

“I thought on it for a bit while you were out there with that handsome Jake fella, thought about it, whether I should even tell you. But Nate is looking for release. He is trapped between worlds, trapped in time, and only you can let him free. Understand?”

Tess sat silently for some time. She wanted to scream. She wanted to run. She wanted to die. Every time something had happened since she woke from that fucking ice box she thought nothing else could possibly be as hard to deal with. But this? This took the fucking cake. This was the brass ring of what the fuck. This was the god damn Pulitzer Prize of scrambled brains.

Her head throbbed from the stress of sobbing, from hearing a message from her dead husband, from sitting in her house with all its faded and decayed memories. This was it. This was her breaking point. She fell against Mama Murphy and began to cry again.

“That's right child, you get it all out. Release it all, because there is so much coming for you to fill it all back up again. Promise.” Mama hugged her and rocked her until she was done.

It was early evening now, the sun casting its final golden light of the day, the air starting to cool. Tess was drained and withdrawn as she and Mama Murphy emerged from the house. As they walked the short paved path from the house to the sidewalk, Tess saw Jake with Preston and Sturges. Jun and Marcy had strung up some cord across the carport of the Rosa house and were beating dust off sheets and blankets they had draped over it. She could see that everyone had been busy while she had been with Mama Murphy. Jake was opening the RobCo box, showing his ASAMs to the men, apparently explaining what they did as she made her way over.

Jake turned and saw her coming, his face blanching as he locked eyes with her, making her feel self-conscious. She came and stood by him, unable to speak, her mind still reeling and her heart full of stones. They looked at each other wordlessly until the sound of fingers snapping broke the spell.

“Hey, Jake, you with us?” It was Sturges.

“Yeah, sorry fellas, I'm here,” Jake replied, giving Sturges a sheepish grin. He looked back at Tess who was averting her eyes from the others, his brow creased with concern but he gave her a smile, one that she knew was sympathetic, then returned his attention to the men.

“Now like I was sayin’,” Jake continued, “you just set this one here down wherever you want and it'll scan the area for materials, then it'll auto build a small house of sorts that someone can live in, easy peasy.”

Preston and Sturges looked at him like he had just spoken Martian. “It builds it... for you,” Sturges said slowly.

Jake sighed softly. “Look guys, just go set it over there,” he instructed, pointing to an area between the ruined houses that had enough room. “Trust me,” he finished. They did as he asked and then stood in stunned silence as, after a laser beacon had scanned the area, the shack began to build itself.

“No one ever believes me,” Jake whispered to himself, shaking his head. Once the demonstration was over and Sturges and Preston were marveling at the finished product, Jake quickly whisked Tess away to the other side of the street. "Tell me what I can do, darlin’."

She smiled, gazing up at him through a film from her swollen eyes. She leaned against his chest and said, “Come with me, I want to show you what I was talking about.”

“Of course, whatever you need.”

Tess took Jake to the bunker. She could see he was impressed with the entryway. And she was impressed that he knew the brands of the lock mechanism and the solar panels. Once inside he whistled. “Wow, this is a nice setup. And he did this all by himself?”

She smiled weakly and nodded. “Well, we did hire contractors to dig it all out first, but yeah, this is all Nate.” She took in a deep breath. “I helped, of course, but I'm more of a gun nut than a construction worker.” She smiled, nostalgia threatening to destroy her.

“I have to say, this is mighty impressive,” Jake remarked, hands on his hips as he looked around. “Shit, you guys shoulda just come in here back then.”

“Well, when the actual day came it was such a panicked rush to get somewhere safe, and the Vault-Tec rep had just come by to sign us up for a spot. Plus, we originally built this to be a safe place in case of civil unrest, a sort of high tech panic room. Although the possibility of what happened might have been in the back of our minds, I'm not sure either of us actually thought it would happen. We didn't really touch on that probability but a couple of times, and we weren't sure how long you'd actually have to stay under before it was safe and even with all this, I doubt our supplies, or we, would have lasted.”

Jake nodded. “Yeah, I see your point.”

Tess continued toward the side of the main room where all the goods were stored. “I figured we could move all this to the vault,” she began, motioning around at the crates and lockers, “you know, have at least the basics for move in, then you could educate me on where to find stuff, what to do next. Is that all right?” she asked.

“That sounds like a solid plan,” he nodded with a smile.

“I know it's a bit early,” Tess said, “but I'm exhausted. Would you come lie with me till I fall asleep?” she asked hopefully. She needed to be near someone. She needed to tell someone what just happened. Maybe even just needed someone else to tell her she wasn’t crazy, wasn’t imagining what she had just been told. And Jake was someone she felt she could share it with.

Jake seemed to fidget, his face flushing. “Um, well if we're beddin’ down here tonight, I can just roll out some blankets on the floor next to you.”

“Jake. Look at the bed please. There’s enough room on that thing for four of us. I'm not going to bite you,” she paused, “promise.”

He seemed to be panicked, as though he was ready to bolt for the exit and she suddenly felt as though she had asked too much of him, her face heating from embarrassment. But then he looked at her again, his shoulders relaxing a bit. “As the lady pleases,” he replied, giving her a proper bow.

He followed her to the bed where they both took off their boots and weapons. She got on and scootched over to one side and he gently moved next to her. They both lie there on their backs looking up at the rough hewn rock, packed dirt and dead tree roots. The silence stretched out as she fought with how to share her tale. And then she began.

“You are one of the kindest peopleI've ever met, you know that Jake?” A moment passed. “I’m going to share something with you that is even harder for me to deal with than everything else I've experienced since I left the vault. I'm going to share it with you because I trust you. And I don't think you're going to believe it until the end.”

Her fingers gripped tightly to her tank top. She looked over at him and his face was a blank slate, expectant and something else she couldn’t place. She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes.

Chapter Text

Tess turned over to face Jake and he did the same. She could see that he was preparing himself for anything. Boy, was he about to get the surprise of his life. She took in a deep breath, let it out slowly and started.

“The old woman? Mama Murphy? She told me in the museum that my son was alive and she could feel his energy. That she had something called 'the Sight.' I didn't believe it at first, I mean, who would? But, Jake, she's the real deal. She really does have this gift.”

Jake nodded but remained silent, his face hard to read.

She continued. “She took me into my house-”

“Wait, that house you were in... was the one you lived in?” He looked stunned.

She nodded. “Yes, and she knew it, too. She purposely took me in there and Jake, it was horrible, I completely lost it.” She closed her eyes tightly to stave off any more waterworks. “And then she told me things. She told me that I am supposed to be here. That there is a purpose for it. But...” she trailed off for a moment, not even knowing how to continue to the last part.

Jake smiled encouragingly. “It's okay darlin’, take your time.”

She gave a small smile back then took another breath. “Jake, she said she saw me leave the vault, had seen both Nate and Shaun. And then...” she sucked in a deep breath, let it out... “And then gave me a message from Nate. He told her 'Tell Tess not to hammer the bent corner of my holotags.'” She pulled them out from her shirt and held them in her hand.

Jake sat up, bending over to look and touched the corner. He looked at her with a mix of horror and complete and utter awe. He just stared at her, then the holotags, then back at her. “Jesus! I see why you were so upset. Hell who wouldn't be? I'm speechless. I can't even imagine what you must be feelin’. Are you all right?”

Good ol’ Jake. Her champion. He didn't scoff. He didn't say 'right, I'm out of here,' he didn't accuse her of making it up. He simply took her at her word and provided comfort. It lifted so much of the weight that the revelations had piled on her.

“I really don't know,” she half whispered. “I just want to sleep so I don't have to think about anything. Don't have to go out and have something else world shattering happen. It's all just been too much, too fast.”

“Come here,” Jake prompted. She slid closer to him. He turned her the other way and pulled her against him, spooning her, providing a sheltering boundary from the insanity of this new life that let her know she was safe with him, that he would see her through the night. A shelter she selfishly hoped would always be there for her. His arms encircled her, his warm body pressed gently against her. But then she felt him trembling.

“Jake? Are you cold?”

“Uh, no darlin’, just thinkin’ about what the woman told you. Gave me goosebumps, ya know?”

She stirred slightly, but settled into him. “Mmm, okay...” she answered groggily and then fell into slow rhythmic breaths as sleep pulled her deliciously from the world.

Tess was wandering through the vault, lost, desperate, calling out to Nate and Shaun, screaming, but no sound was coming out. Tears streamed down her face, every room looked like the last and panic stabbed her heart. Room after room, screaming silently and then... there he stood. Her Nate. He was in the vault suit and backlit with a soft golden light. She ran to him but the more she ran the further he was. It was torture.

Closing her eyes she started to weep. And then she felt two strong hands on her shoulders. “Honey, look at me.” It was Nate's voice. She opened her eyes and almost fell to the ground but he held her steady. “My beautiful wife. Know that it's always been you. I love you. But now it's time to go. I will love you forever. But it's time to go.” And then he slowly faded from her.

“Nate! Nate come back!” She fell to her knees, the tears burning her eyes.

But then the light... that golden light came toward her. She sat up taller and watched it, mesmerized. It slowly grew and then it was upon her, washing over her, bathing her in comfort. It was the most incredible thing she'd ever felt. She slowly reached out her hands, her body was aglow with the light and she started to laugh. It was a joyous laugh. She felt as if everything bad had been washed away and she was free. She raised her arms higher, laughing. Then she heard a voice.. someone calling her…

“Tess?”

Her eyes fluttered open, someone was against her body. Why were her arms over her head? Wait. She turned over. Realization. Yes, back to... back to what? Then she saw Jake's handsome face. His brows were knit together. “Jake?”

He sat up. “You were laughing in your sleep. I'm not gonna pry but I'll just say I'm damn happy to hear it, cause it's sure better than hearin’ you scream.” He took her hand. “Did you sleep well?"

She was still reeling from the dream, still trying to go from the fog of deep sleep to waking. She nodded, “Actually yes, I slept good, thanks to you.”

He smiled at her. “Glad to hear it,” he replied and his eyes moved to a corner with a door. “Is that the uh...?”

She laughed sleepily, “Yes, that would be the bathroom.”

He smiled, a blush coloring his cheeks. “Thanks, be a minute.”

While Jake was in the bathroom, Tess got up and changed clothes. It was strange, but she still felt that calming comfort from her dream. Even though it was hard to actually have seen Nate, dream or not, she was starting to wonder if what Mama Murphy said was what she saw. Had she just released him? Was he at peace now? Maybe that light was his peace and she was meant to keep it with her. Mama will know. She would talk to her about it later. For now she wanted to focus on the day ahead.

When Jake came out of the bathroom he looked her over. “Oh. You’re ready to head out?”

“Just give me one minute.” It was her turn to use the bathroom. She washed up, brushed out her hair and put it in a pony tail. When she came out, Jake was sitting on the edge of the bed putting his boots on. In that moment she realized that she was very lucky to have run into him. Whatever new obstacles or hellish beasties would be tossed at her she had the feeling Jake would be willing to help her through it. And she would never be able to thank him enough.

And speaking of beasties... “Jake, I forgot to ask. Remember when you said you didn't think even a deathclaw could stop me?”

Jake chuckled, “We really do need to give you a full book on wasteland critters. A deathclaw is something I hope you never have to encounter. It's hard to even describe them. There was a virus invented back in your time called FEV, and some of those idiot scientists were in their labs makin’ all sorts of crazy shit, like takin’ some kinda lizard and mutating it, actually engineering it to become very large and very vicious to use in the war.”

She remembered hearing about the virus, but never really knew the extent of what they were doing. All top secret, hush hush kind of crap.

Jake continued, “And as nature always wins, some of their ‘experiments’ escaped into the wild and flourished. The deathclaws we have around here can be, I'd say, up to twelve feet tall when they stand fully. They're extremely aggressive and their front hands, paws, whatever, have these very long, very sharp claws. One swipe can cut a man in two.”

“Jesus. The more I learn about this world, the more I wonder how any human has survived at all.” Tess sat down next to him. “What are ghouls? From my time they were just the stuff of movies and horror novels.

“After the bombs fell, as I'm sure you know, a lot of people died from the initial blast and then the fallout. Radiation sickness, some horrible deaths to be sure. But there were some people that, well, instead of dyin’, their skin started to change, sort of, rot I think is the best term, but their minds, who they were, didn't change. It also made them live a very long time,” he paused, watching her reaction.

“Anyway,” he continued, “there are still some alive now from your time, believe it or not. But most of the ones you see out in the wild have gone feral. They only have the most primal part of their brains workin’, they attack anything that moves and they're highly radioactive.”

Tess just sat there. She had no idea what to even say to all this. How many more horrors lurked beyond the small part of the Commonwealth she'd seen? How the fuck was she going to find her son if she had to battle through things better sent back to hell?

“There's more, Jake said, “but I think that's good for today, you've had enough thrown at you and we need to focus on Nate, right?”

Her mind was trying to absorb all this information, trying to find a new file cabinet to store it all in, her sanity threatening to break its lease and vacate the premises. “Yes, Jake, you're right. Thank you.” Jake stood and got her up and moving. They grabbed their gear and exited the bunker.

There was a light rain falling when they emerged. Tess stood with her face up, feeling the cool drops as they hit her skin, the smell of the trees that surrounded the little island of Sanctuary Hills. It was still, and calm, and for the first time since leaving the vault, this moment was perfect. She opened her eyes and she knew exactly where to bury Nate.

“Follow me,” she said to Jake.

They walked from the yard, through the carport, then all the way to the south side of town where there was a sidewalk that ran parallel to the river with a crumbling retaining wall. At the north eastern end was a spot where you could walk down into the water. Nate's quiet place.

“Here,” she nodded solemnly. “He loved to come here and fish, just be in nature.” She felt Jake's hand on her shoulder.

“I think this is a beautiful spot.”

She nodded. They stood gazing at the river for a few moments and she said, “Yes, it's just right.”

Chapter Text

Tess had wanted to sit alone at the river for a while, something Jake completely understood. He made his way back toward the Rosa house where he saw Preston and Sturges going over plans of some sort as he approached them.

“So, I think if we knock down this one here first,“ Sturges said as he pointed to a place on the spread out paper, “then we could probably place enough homes on the foundation for the entire group. Then,” he stopped as he saw Jake approaching. “Hey, Jake. Good timin’, buddy. Didn't you say that these ASAMs also built other kindsa buildings?”

Jake nodded, “They do, but I haven't worked out everything just yet. They can make some industrial type plots, you know, where you can gather materials, save on havin’ to do the heavy lifting. Oh, and small farms, you can program a couple I gave you for that, too.”

Preston and Sturges looked at each other for a moment. “Well that's just fine, Jake,” Sturges drawled. “You got more of these things?”

“Uh,” Jake started hesitantly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, yeah, there's still some left, but that box I brought should be enough for y'all to get set up pretty nice for now. Once I learn more about 'em, find more, or maybe even figure out how to make more, then there'll be plenty for everyone.”

Sturges nodded, “Fair enough.”

Jake cleared his throat. “Say, fellas. I have a favor to ask, if it's not too much trouble, that is.”

Preston said, “Ask away.”

“Well, here's the deal. As you heard Tess tell it, her husband is still in that vault. I could use some help getting him out so she can bury him proper, here in his home town. You think you could give me a hand?”

Simultaneously Preston said “Of course,” and Sturges replied “You got it, bud!”

Jake was relieved. He never did like imposing on folks, sorta liked trying to get things done on his own. “Great, guys, thanks a lot. Tess is gonna come with us, show us where the control panel is. Since she opened the vault to get out, we can now get in.” He paused, and cleared his throat again. “So, uh, you guys have any ideas on how to best transport him back here? I'd like to be as gentle as possible, Tess's been through so much, and…”

Preston said, “Not a problem, Jake. We actually made a run to the Red Rocket and found quite a bit of good scrap, including a tarp, some gardening tools and a bunch of other goodies.” he finished, nodding toward three wheel barrows the men had used for the scav run. “Best I can tell, people were trying to settle there, maybe grow some crops – but I guess they must've been run off. There's probably more salvage there but that was our haul for that short run anyway.”

“Wow, you guys wasted no time!” Jake remarked, then sighed deeply. “I gotta say, I'm a bit nervous for some reason. I'm sure glad to have you guys helpin’ me with this.”

Preston smiled, “I understand. I've had to bury too many people myself. It's never pleasant.” He turned to Sturges, “You grab that tarp and whatever you think best to tie it with, Jake and I can start digging. I think we should have his spot ready for him when we come back.”

“On it, boss. Come get me when y'all are ready to head out.”

“Thanks guys, I really mean it,” Jake said. 

It was a huge relief, and Jake's heart felt some comfort knowing he had help to do this for Tess. Knowing his own situation, he couldn't imagine having to bury a loved one. He just hoped they could all bring a bit of peace to her, a sense of closure. But this wasn't any ordinary loss. This was her entire world ripped away from her, each foot in a different one, and his mind ached trying to fathom how a person could even come to grips with it all.

Once Jake and Preston had a shovel each, they headed to the spot Tess had picked out. She stood to greet them as they drew near, smiling sadly as she eyed the shovels. He wished he could think of a way to ease her pain.

Preston spoke first, with a tip of his hat, “Ma'am, it's our pleasure to help you with this. It's the least we can do. Show us exactly where you would like to have him.”

She moved to the spot she had chosen and pointed down. “I think here would be nice.”

Jake and Preston got to digging.

Tess watched as the men rolled up their sleeves and got to work. It was more than she could have ever imagined at the time of finding Nate in the pod. More than she thought practical strangers would do for her husband who they never met, for her who they barely knew, and yet here they were, breaking their backs to help her. The tears that now fell were tears of gratitude. This act was one she'd never be able to repay. And one she'd never forget.

“Jake?” she called. “I'm going to see Mama Murphy. Just holler if you guys need anything.”

Jake looked up, sweat already trickling down the sides of his face. “Of course, darlin’, do what you need to, we'll be here.”

Tess strolled through the town and spotted Mama Murphy on a chair just outside her house. Did she move in? As she approached, Mama stood up and greeted her. “I figured you would need to talk to me today. You have questions. This time I won't make you come inside. We can sit out here if you like.”

Dogmeat was laying next to Mama and woofed a greeting. She saw that there was another chair already waiting for her. Of course there was. She just nodded and sat down, facing the old woman, then reached down and ruffled Dogmeat’s ears. “I have the feeling I don't even need to tell you,” Tess began.

“Oh, but you should, kid. I can't do it all,” Mama grinned playfully.

Tess actually snickered at that. “Well, you said that Nate was stuck between worlds. And in my dream he said 'it was time to go'... and then that light, I mean was that it? Is he happy now? Did the light really come to me? And what is it?”

“Woah, woah, slow down, kid,” Mama said with a hand up. “One thing at a time.” She looked hard at Tess and leaned forward a bit. “Give me your hand.” Tess complied. Mama closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, then opened them again. “That light was his spirit come to you. He needed to cross to this world so that you could release him here.”

Tears started streaming. Tess nodded and listened.

“Your spirit is tied to his, honey. That won't change. But in order for him to move on to where he needs to go, what you are all planning to do today is the key. You're all doing exactly what needs to be done. He'll always be with you in spirit but his essence needs to move on to what’s next for him.”

Tess sat quietly for a moment. She was so scared that Mama was going to tell her more things that would shatter her, something that would make her feel lost and out of control again. But this was actually quite beautiful and she was grateful. She squeezed Mama's hand, “Thank you, Mama, that's made me feel better than just about anything since I've come here.”

Mama smiled at her and reached for her other hand. “Now you need to go get his dress uniform ready, he wants to be buried in it. But he said you could keep the holotags, long as you keep the promise.” Mama grinned.

Tess actually laughed out loud. She was starting to actually feel the comfort, the release. It would be hard, and it would take time. But now she felt as though it might actually be okay. She would move on. And she would live in his honor and keep her promise to find their son. She leaned forward and hugged Mama Murphy, whispering in her ear “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“You're gonna be all right, kid.”

And Tess believed her. One hundred percent.

Jake started to feel blisters forming on his hands. Hell, he wasn't afraid of hard work, done plenty in his time, but in the last few years he'd mainly just been tinkering with electronics and computers. He sighed, taking off the slim, red wool scarf he always had around his neck and wiped his face. Preston had stopped as well and was drinking from a canteen. Their eyes met and Preston tossed it to Jake who gratefully took a few gulps, then returned it. “So, you think this is good?” he asked.

Preston, nodded. “Yeah, this is more than most get out here.” He dropped his shovel, removed his hat and sat on the ground. “At least there's shade here. It'll be a nice spot to visit, even in summer.”

Jake nodded agreement. “Well, I don't know about you but I could use a wash.”

Preston pointed, “There's a water pump right over there.”

“Well, actually...” Jake started. “I'll check with Tess, but I'm sure she won't mind. She's got a bunker here with a shower.”

Preston's eyes were so large Jake thought they'd fall out and start rolling around on the ground. He couldn't help himself, he laughed.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, sir.” He snickered. “Lemme go ask her.”

Fifteen minutes later, Tess, Jake and Preston were in the bunker. Preston was standing with his jaw dropped as he looked around, clutching a small pack he had brought with him. “I’ve never seen anything like this,” he stated with wonder.

Jake, nodded. “I had the same reaction. But listen, why don’t you go on ahead. The bathroom’s over there,” Jake said, pointing to the door in the corner.

They watched as Preston entered the bathroom. Jake sat on the edge of the bed with Tess. “I meant to ask, how do you have clean water, I mean if the lines go to the river out there…”

She smiled at him and pointed, “See that impression in that wall over there?”

He nodded.

She motioned for him to follow and led him into the control room. He whistled, impressed yet again, as he moved around the room. She had stopped in front of a bank of terminals.

“That is a large water purifier,” she pointed to a tank on the far left. “It's tied into the rest of the power grid inside the bunker. The generator gets its power from the solar panels, and everything is self-sufficient. Even the waste goes into a treatment tank under the bunker which we had planned to use as compost for gardening.” She sighed softly. “Maybe we still can.”

“Damn, he really thought of everything.” Jake looked at her with a glint of concern. “I'm glad to see you in better spirits, I mean, all things considered.”

She smiled. “Yes, I had a good talk with Mama Murphy. It really made me feel better.”

He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I'm glad, I really am. You deserve to feel better.”

“Thanks, Jake,” she smiled, momentarily caught in his gaze. Clearing her throat she turned back to the control panel. “So,” she began, “since you’re the resident electrician, I figured you should be the first to have access to the system in here. I’m going to add you to the registered users so you can make any changes or adjustments that may be needed in the future.”

Jake beamed. “Well, Tess, that’s mighty nice of you.”

They spent the next fifteen minutes going over the ins and outs of the power grid and, naturally, Jake was duck to water in no time. They heard Preston come out of the bathroom and went back to join him in the main room. He wasn't in his uniform; he was wearing civilian gear. Well, sort of.

Tess raised her eyebrows and said, “Wow, you clean up nice.” He was wearing some old fatigue pants and a T-shirt that showed off defined muscle and broad shoulders she didn't even realize he had. The general's uniform, as he had called it, was very bulky. His dark skin was glistening with moisture as was his close cropped natural hair.

“That was the most amazing thing I've ever felt. I mean, actual hot water? Damn, I never thought I'd get to experience that. Thank you!”

Tess chuckled, “My pleasure, Preston. And, uh, lookin’ good there, soldier,” she winked at him. Even on his dark skin she could see the glow of a blush.

Preston chuckled as he looked in the full length mirror that was hung just outside the bathroom. He was patting down his hair and looked at her reflection. “Why, thank you ma'am.”

She grinned then looked at Jake. “Well, what are you waitin’ for, Evans! Get in there!”

He snickered and got to his feet. “Yes ma'am!” He grabbed his bag and went to the bathroom.

After a few moments, Preston was looking at her again in the mirror. He smiled and said, “He's a good man.”

She felt her cheeks warming, “Yes. Yes he is. The best.”

It was time.

Tess had so many emotions fighting for her attention. There was the peace of everything that had to do with Nate in the last 24 hours, the sadness of knowing she was going to say her last goodbyes, the pain that would take time to heal, and the gratefulness she felt for these men who dropped everything they were doing to help her with this monumental task.

The group walked west out of Sanctuary and over the little wooden bridge that spanned the small stream and connected to the path up to the vault. Her heart was thudding as they passed the chain link gate that was now in ruins, where she, Nate and Shaun had stood to check in with a soldier, only a couple of days ago – only a couple of centuries ago.

Then the walk to the vault where they had stood on that platform waiting to go down, wondering if they would make it. She had seen the soldier in the tiny guard post to her left and knew that was where the control panel was. She swallowed hard. As they arrived at the platform, they all stood silently for a moment.

Jake looked at her, “Are you ready, darlin’?”

She nodded, then walked to the ramp of the small structure. The men stepped into the center of the platform and Preston gave her a thumbs up. Her eyes locked on Jake's and she pressed the button. The lift kicked into gear and started its slow descent. Jake smiled at her and she watched until they were all out of sight. She hoped that the directions she gave them would help, even if they were a bit sketchy.

She stood there for a bit, looking south, looking at where she had seen the mushroom cloud. A cold dread spread over her skin. Then she looked down at a skeleton there. This had to be the soldier that had activated the lift. He had given his life to save theirs. She thought that at some point she'd like to honor him in some way. She whispered “thank you” and then made her way back to town.

Back in Sanctuary, as she was nearing her old house, she heard Marcy's voice. Jesus, here she goes again.

“I'm sorry Jun, I'm busy, I can't go for a walk with you, I need to finish what I'm doing.” Her tone was bitter and dismissive.

Poor Jun. His voice, meek as ever, “Okay. Uh, if you change your mind-”

“I won't, now just leave me alone Jun,” Marcy all but shouted at the man.

This was ridiculous. They were married for fuck's sake! She just couldn't take it. Marcy was rounding the Rosa house and looked at Tess with both malice and fear. That was it. She stormed over and pulled Marcy forcibly into the house.

“Get your fucking hands off me!” Marcy yelled.

She wouldn't let her go. Once inside she yelled, “Hey, hey! You listen to me. We all have to live here. Together. Get it? What exactly is your fucking problem anyway, huh?”

“As if you care,” Marcy bit out, yanking her wrist away from Tess.

“Well maybe if you tell me you'll find out if I care!”

Marcy started crying and just let herself fall to the floor. Tess was not expecting this, that was for sure. She sat down with her. “What's going on with you?”

“He keeps wanting to talk about Kyle. I can't. I just can't!” she wept harder.

Tess frowned. “Who's Kyle?”

Marcy looked at her with red eyes. “He was our son! Okay? You happy now?”

Oh, Jesus. Her heart was stabbed with understanding and sympathy. Yeah, the bitch coulda found a better way to deal, but hell, who had a handbook on how to properly grieve anyway?

She took one of Marcy's hands, surprised she didn't flinch, and said, “Hey, you know my story. Losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to a parent. I don't even know where my son is, or if he's even alive. I don't have the first fucking clue what to do. But until I figure it out, I'm here. I am with you people, and I will do whatever it takes to help and keep you all safe. Today I'm burying my husband and I'd like you to be there. All of you. Can you do that?”

Marcy looked up at her and nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“Good. Now listen to me Marcy, I understand your pain, I do. But Jun is in pain, too. He has no one, only you. It's unimaginable what you're going through, but you have to go through it together. I know I sure wish I could have my husband with me to find our son, but he's gone. Jun needs you now more than ever.” She gave Marcy's hand a squeeze. “You think about it, all right?”

She got up to leave and Marcy spoke. “I'm sorry, and... thank you.”

Tess nodded and reached down, giving Marcy’s shoulder a squeeze before leaving the house.

Hubflowers. That's what Sturges told her these were called. They were quite large, but they were pretty. There really weren't any other kinds of flowers around that she could see, so she picked as many as she could and strung them together into a wreath with some wire Sturges gave her. It would do. She took it to Nate’s burial site and laid it next to the grave. It wasn't really real yet. For now it was just a hole in the ground. 

She sat for a while, listening to the trees, the same sounds she and Nate used to love right here in this spot. She sighed deeply and then rose to go prepare his uniform.

On the way back to the bunker, she saw Marcy and Jun embracing and crying and nodded to herself. She hated that she had been so aggressive with the woman, but was happy that it had snapped her out of it. They had a tough road ahead but this was at least a good first step. She really did want these people to find some semblance of happiness in this fucked up world of theirs. Well, her world now, too. God help her.

Chapter Text

The lift touched down softly inside the vault. The men watched as the safety gate slowly ascended and then stepped out into a small entry area. There were stairs that led up into the vault proper. “Well, I guess that's the only way in,” Jake surmised.

“Let's move,” Preston said, leading the way to the stairs.

There was no sound save the humming of the Klaxons and the far off buzzing of something electrical. Jake checked the notes in his Pip-boy. Tess did the best she could from memory so they all hoped it would be easy to find her husband. “I think we take this door here on the left guys.”

“Eww,” Sturges grimaced, looking at the ruined bodies of the radroaches that Tess had obviously had to kill. “She's a brave woman for sure. Seen these suckers all my life and they still give me the heebie jeebies!”

Jake was starting to feel what it must have been like for Tess to have to maneuver her way through a vault full of ghosts and monsters she'd never seen. To have to try and find a way out not even knowing if it was safe? And to have done it all alone? He was both proud of her and completely horrified. Just looking at this place as they moved down the corridor made his heart sink. It gave him a deeper understanding of what she had been through – the beginning of the end of her world as she knew it.

“Jake, two doors here, which way?”

Jake checked his notes again, “Follow me guys, I'll just lead you.”

Eventually they found the right bay. She had been in C7 and Nate was in C6. They moved down the walkway and stopped at his pod. No one spoke. They just looked at the man inside. Ice was melting on his body, his hair. The vault suit he was in was completely soaked through and water was trickling on the floor of the pod and out into the bay. The reality of actually seeing this, not just hearing the story, hit Jake hard.

Without words they gently pulled the man from the pod and laid him out on the floor. Jake swallowed a knot in his throat. This person was someone Tess loved. He was the father of her child. As much as he was growing attached to her, he could not discount the horrible tragedy of this man's death, nor the pain she was dealing with as a consequence. He only hoped he could actually help her get through it all.

They rolled out the tarp and started lifting Nate onto it when Sturges said, “Guys, I have an idea. I'll be right back.” And off he went.

Jake and Preston looked at each other then at Sturges as he went down the bay and turned into the passage they had just come from. “Huh. What's that all about?” Jake queried.

Preston shrugged, “Your guess is as good as mine, but I know Sturges, he's always looking for new ways to do things, so maybe he's on to something.”

The men finished rolling Nate in the tarp, each of them tying some rope around his chest and legs. The job done, they watched and waited for Sturges. A few moments later he returned. He had a stretcher.

“Well I'll be damned,” Jake said in a hushed tone.

“See? That's Sturges,” Preston stated with a smile.

“I think this might make the job a tad simpler, don't ya think?” Sturges grinned at them.

“Good ol’ Sturges, he can jury rig the world.” Preston chuckled.

They lifted Nate onto the stretcher and Jake took the lead. Preston and Sturges grabbed the rear and the men made their way out of the vault.

Tess got out Nate's dress uniform from a standing locker. It was in a garment bag, fortunately, and with the bunker being sealed off, it was in perfect condition. She was glad that they had stored it there. A thought chilled her – if the bombs had come an hour later, the uniform would be laid on on their bed in the house in preparation for Nate’s speech at the Veteran’s Hall. She let out a shaky sigh.

Sitting on the bed, she ran her fingers over his ribbons, remembering how dashing he looked in uniform. With another sigh she went to grab his low quarters at the bottom of the locker. She placed them on the bed. Just a little dust. She got his shoe polishing kit and gave them a good buffing. If you can't see your face in them, you're not done! She smiled fondly at the memory.

She looked everything over. Uniform, tie, trousers, shoes. He was ready. She was ready, too, she thought. Hoped. Her reverie was cut short when she heard the doors of the bunker open. The men were back. They had made good time. She stood to greet them.

Jake was coming down the steps and his arms were behind him holding the front of a stretcher. Next she saw Sturges and Preston come into view, bringing up the rear. Nate's body was neatly wrapped in a tarp and she had to take several deep breaths as the reality was starting to prick at her heart more than she had anticipated. She slowly started moving backward as they entered.

“Guys...” she heard Jake's voice. “Guys, down, give me a sec.” They all slowly lowered Nate to the floor and Jake came jogging over to her. He looked into her eyes, “Darlin’, you're as pale as fog. Come here, sit.”

He led her to a chair next to the bed. She looked again over at Nate's body and started trembling. Jake took one of her hands.

Preston and Sturges came over as well. “Ma'am,” Preston started, holding his hat to his chest, “I just want to say that I think you're one of the bravest people I've ever met. I'm not sure I would have been able to do what you did, getting out of that vault the way it is. You have my undying respect.”

She looked up at his handsome, dark face. “Thanks Preston, that's kind of you.” She felt like she was floating, like gravity had ceased to exist and everything was ethereal and liquid. The room started to spin…

“Ah, shit!” Jake blurted out. Tess had fainted. He scooped her up from the chair as Sturges and Preston moved all of Nate's things to the table so Jake could lay her on the bed. “Grab some water, in that green footlocker.”

“I'm on it,” Sturges said and quickly went to grab a bottle, bringing it back to Jake. Preston returned with a cloth and Jake wet it, placing it on Tess’s forehead. He took her hand in his, but his heart was near bursting. “Tess,” he squeezed her hand. “Darlin’, can you hear me?”

Sturges and Preston watched and waited.

Jake placed his forehead on her hand and whispered softly, “You have to be okay, I can’t lose anyone else.” He could feel the pulse in her hand but he was concerned that with all she had been through, all the horrors she'd faced, that seeing her dead husband might have pushed her over the cliff. He honestly didn't know what to do for her. Then it hit him.

“Guys, go get Mama Murphy!”

They scrambled off on the task.

Jake had tears in his eyes. He hadn't actually cried since—since he lost his daughter. He could see Tess was breathing, could see the rise and fall of her chest, the color still in her face. She’d just fainted. She was going to wake up. So why did it feel like the floor had dropped out from under him anyway? He traced a finger down her cheek, then caught himself and stilled his hand, like he didn’t have the right. “C’mon, darlin’,” he whispered, voice rough. “Don’t do this to me.”

It wasn’t that he thought she was dying. It was the helplessness of it—the way a person could vanish from you in the span of a breath. It hit the same raw place his daughter had left behind. He swallowed hard and pressed Tess’s hand to his chest. “I’m sorry,” he breathed, the words meant for a dozen ghosts. “I’m so damn sorry.” Maybe this feeling of panicked dread was because he could relate to her pain. Her loss. He'd never had this reaction to anyone before. But Tess's situation was so unbelievable it had actually affected him, too, in a very physical sense.

He climbed onto the bed beside her and spooned her like he had before—careful, sheltering—stroking her hair while his mind tried to claw itself back into order. He didn’t understand what was happening to him, only that he was dangerously attached to her in a way he didn’t understand and didn’t trust.

The doors opened and Preston was helping Mama Murphy down the steps. She came over and sat on the edge of the bed, took Tess’s hand, closed her eyes, then nodded. “She’s just exhausted, emotionally drained and a little dehydrated. But she's fine.”

The entire room let out a sigh of relief. They didn't have a doctor. Hell, no one even knew where there was one, other than in Diamond City. Jake remembered a chance encounter with a traveling doctor he had seen once, although that man could be anywhere at any time. But Mama seemed to …know things and at least that was of some comfort.

Mama reached over Tess to Jake, indicating she wanted his hand. He obliged. “Jake Evans, from the southern lands. You need not fear. Your reason for coming here...” Mama closed her eyes again, then looked at him, “She's alive and you will see her again.”

Jake started to cry.

Mama got up from the bed and motioned for Preston and Sturges. “Come boys, they need some time.” The three of them left the bunker.

Jake wept. He wept for Tess, for himself, for everything he had been trying to accomplish, and for his daughter. He had been looking for so long he had almost given up hope. But after seeing what the old woman could do, he knew she was telling the truth and his tears were a mix of sadness and joy. He leaned down and kissed Tess's forehead. “I'm right here.”

Tess woke up about thirty minutes after Mama and the boys had left. She had apparently heard Jake crying and turned over then reached for him, “Jake?”

The feel of her hand against his face was like hearing angels sing.

“Jake, what happened, are you okay?”

He put his hand over hers. “I am now.” She looked confused.

“You fainted” He saw her eyes look around as if getting her bearings, and then look at the floor where Nate lay. She went stock still.

Jake sat up and put a hand on her shoulder. “Will you be all right to go on? Should we postpone?”

Her head shook and then she finally peeled her eyes away from Nate and looked at him, those beautiful pale greens wide and sad. He could feel her shaking. And then she just threw her arms around him wordlessly and he held her, realizing in that moment that he needed that hug as much as she did.

About an hour later Jake emerged from the bunker. He walked through the carport and saw that Preston and Sturges were talking to Mama Murphy. As he approached he heard her say, “Right on time,” and then he saw Preston shake his head with a smirk.

Jake was solemn and the men looked at him expectantly. “She's ready now.”

They nodded and the three of them returned to the bunker.

Jake and Tess had moved Nate onto the bed, on top of the stretcher. Tess had managed to dress him. Well, with a little help from Jake. It was an extremely emotional task, and there were many breaks, tears and hugs. He was so proud of her but concern still ate at his gut. The thought of having to dress someone he loved in their burial clothing? His mind couldn't even entertain the thought.

Preston removed his hat. Except for the humming of the power grid, the bunker was silent.

Tess stood and faced the men. “I want to thank you all again for doing this for me. I will never be able to repay your kindness. When I woke up in that vault I had no idea what awaited me. I didn't know if I'd die the instant I came out. I didn't know how much time had passed. I emerged into a different world and it was terrifying."

"But you…” she looked at each of them, “...you all have done more for me in this foreign world than just about anyone else has in my entire life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know that Nate would have loved to meet each of you himself.” She let out a long sigh, turning to look at her husband. “But now he is ready to move on to his next adventure.”

The men all took their positions, like pall bearers, and lifted the now finely dressed Nate on the stretcher and headed for the stairs. Tess followed behind.

Tess had to fight tears again as she saw Mama, Jun and Marcy – who were holding hands – at the grave site. She had been to a few military funerals before and just wished she’d been able to salvage Nate's flag, but she knew he understood. The men brought the stretcher to the side of the grave. Tess moved to the edge herself. She was holding up the best she could. Mama Murphy came to her side and held her hand and Tess instantly felt the glowing warmth she had in her dream.

Jake and Preston gently lifted Nate and brought him down into the grave. They climbed out and Tess looked down at him, so resplendent in his dress blues. This was a better final mental image than of him in a vault suit, frozen in a pod. And now he was at peace. She took the hubflower wreath and dropped it in. “Goodbye, my love...” she whispered.

Then Mama Murphy spoke.

“No matter what you believe in, where you came from, we are all just a blink in the eye of eternity. It's hard to say farewell, but all of us will have to make this journey. We all will move on when it's our time. This soul, Nathan, has already moved through two worlds. Now he must go where he is meant to be and leave those who loved him with a touch of his spirit and the memories of his life. We all bid you good journey, Nate.”

Everyone bowed their heads for a moment of silence.

Tess felt her legs trembling as she began to speak. “All of you, thank you for this, and thank you for being here. For me, for Nate. I can never stop thanking you.” She turned her face into Mama's shoulder, but she didn't cry. She just shook.

Preston and Sturges picked up the shovels and Mama started walking Tess away from the grave, then handed her off to Jake. He didn't speak, he just offered his physical support, and that was all she needed right now. He led her to where Mama Murphy was headed, in front of her old house. There were even more chairs ready on the lawn. She and Jake sat with the old woman while Preston and Sturges filled Nate's grave. 

It was done.

For all the pain, all the anguish she had felt, she could now feel him at peace. She didn't even have to ask this time. She looked over at Mama who smiled knowingly back at her.

Once the men had completed the grave, Tess decided to gather everyone. There was something she had been meaning to do, for everyone. And as they had all given so much to her, she felt this gesture was the least she could do in return.

“Okay, as you all may know, there is a bunker here in my former back yard. Without spoiling the surprise, I’d like you all to follow me.”

Marcy and Jun looked at each other, but fell in line with the rest. She led them down into the bunker. It was amusing to see their reactions. Sturges started asking Tess about the build, his brilliant mechanical mind impressing her. Jun and Marcy were looking around like they had beamed aboard an alien craft, and Mama sat contentedly in the chair by Tess’s bed.

“From now on, you are all invited to come down here after dinner to take showers, grab rations, whatever you need. This will also be a safe space should there come a need for it. There are extra weapons here, as well. So any of you that don’t know how to shoot… you’re gonna learn.”

“That’s a great idea, Tess,” Preston said. “It’s actually something I’ve wanted to do for a while, but, yeah, out there hasn’t given us the best opportunities for that kind of training.”

Tess nodded. “Well, my husband taught me, so now I’m going to teach you. Those who don’t know how, that is.” She held back a chuckle at the looks on Marcy and Jun’s faces. But in reality, it was something that needed to happen. She could protect them only to a certain degree. They needed to learn to protect themselves. And since she was fortunate enough to have been trained by the best, she would pass that knowledge on.

Marcy spoke. “You really think we can learn? To … use guns, I mean?”

Tess grinned, moving to the other woman and taking her shoulders. “I know you can.” She smiled, looking around the room. “If I, as a naive little lawyer at the time, could learn, then so can all of you. You already have an advantage I didn’t have. You’ve survived this world of yours. What I teach you will only improve upon the skills you already have.”

Jake was beaming a smile at her as he took a seat on the end of the bed.

“Now,” Tess continued. “Help yourselves to a hot shower. Something I took for granted in my world that I hope will be something you will come to take for granted now, especially once we get the vault running.” She returned her gaze to Marcy. “Why don’t you and Jun go first. Let me know if you have any questions or need anything.” She led them to the bathroom, stopping to grab some towels from one of several foot lockers. “Enjoy!”

She snickered to herself as she watched the pair go inside like kids discovering a secret cave or a new candy store.

A few minutes later everyone was laughing as they heard the exited voices of the couple from inside the shower. It warmed her heart hearing Marcy actually laughing. That was a miracle, as far as she was concerned.

Eventually, they convinced Mama Murphy to finally have a turn, but only after bribing her with some clean clothes, and another surprise: some actual shoes that Tess had stashed away in her stores of clothing. There were laughs, cheers and fussing as the old woman emerged, clean and transformed.

“I bet you didn’t see that coming, did you Mama?” Tess teased. Everyone had a good laugh. Even Mama took the jibe with good humor.

Then Tess looked at Sturges, the last hold out. “Hmm, I don’t know Sturges, what are you, 6’3”, 6’4”? Oh wait, probably 6’7” with that ‘do’ of yours.” He laughed. “Just, try not to break my shower head, okay?”

He shook his head, still chuckling as he slipped into the bathroom. And somehow, when he emerged, his pompadour was still intact. Cleaner, but coiffed to perfection. She would have to find out his secret.

Everyone had left to go back to their new little homes, cleaner than they had probably ever been in their lives. Jake had been so proud of Tess, so warmed by her generosity and her foresight regarding training these people. She was a leader. Even with all the heartache she had endured – was still enduring. It humbled him, if he was honest. He was about to leave and find a place up top to settle in for the night, but Tess would not hear of it.

He had to admit, he hadn’t wanted to leave, as wrong as he knew it was to stay. But she had said she didn't want to be alone and he could deny her nothing. It was still difficult to sleep right up on her, but she was becoming very important to him and he felt an instinctual need to protect her. She had fallen asleep almost immediately when they went to bed and he was surprised at just how tired he was himself. It was only moments before he, too, was asleep.

When they woke up the next morning, they shared some MREs and he was amused as he watched Tess eating. She was like a petulant child that was forced to eat her vegetables. The faces she made... It was very entertaining.

She looked at him, “What?”

“Enjoyin’ your breakfast?” he snickered.

She made a face at him. “Oh ha ha, very funny.” She threw the empty packet at him and he laughed.

It was good to see her able to joke around a bit. He didn't know how she would be feeling today, but she was such a strong woman.

“So, where should we start,” she asked.

“Huh? Oh! You're ready to start now, darlin’? You sure?”

She shrugged. “No time like the present, right?”

“Well all right then. I'd say we talk to Codsworth, get him down there to see if anything needs fixin’, which I can help him with since, you know, hands,” he gestured with his own. “Then we can take a look at that transformer, start the housecleaning, get these supplies movin’, and make sure everyone's got a room or a bunk. That sound about right as a startin’ point?”

She nodded. “I'd say that's a good plan. But how are we going to move all this crap?” She looked around the room, frowning.

Jake thought for a moment. “Lemme talk to Sturges. He seems to have a way of figurin’ out things like this.”

She nodded. “Okay. I'll start pulling bins and crates out so we can have a good overview of what's here. I'd say for now we take half, let the gang use the bunker for rations, showers and whatnot till the vault's ready for occupation.”

Jake smiled at her. She had a keen mind and was very decisive. He admired that, but he was still concerned that she might be diving into work as a coping mechanism. And damn, wasn’t that the pot callin’ the kettle black. He groaned internally.

“Well then, looks like we have our day planned out.” He pulled on his boots and stood. “All right, I'll be back to let you know what we come up with.”

“Mmhmm,” she muttered back, already looking through the inventory.

He shook his head with a small smile and exited the bunker.

Chapter Text

Jake emerged from the bunker into a damp and partially cloudy morning. The Longs were buzzing around a small farm plot they had put up. He smiled as he watched them marvel over it, Jun picking up a hoe and getting to work. Beyond that he saw Sturges sawing some wood on a makeshift table and approached him.

Sturges looked up and smiled. “Mornin' Jake.”

“Mornin', Jake replied, hesitating for a second before asking, "Uh, look, got another ask. Don't mean to keep pilin’ things on ya.”

Sturges put down the saw and rubbed his hands up and down his overalls, removing sawdust. “Sure thing,” he drawled, rubbing his hands. “What needs doin’?”

Jake ran a hand up the back of his neck and over his tousled hair. “Well, we need to move a lot of stuff from the bunker into the vault. But if we all did it manually we'd be at it for days, maybe longer. Was wonderin’ if you could come up with a way to help. Preston said you're the go-to guy and I figured you gotta have some ideas.”

Sturges cocked his head in thought. “Hmm, let me give that a think, I may have an idea...” he trailed off.

“Oh, and one other thing,” Jake added, feeling a twinge of guilt, “I really don't want Tess to go in there until it's cleaned out. And that means removin’ all those poor folks in those pods. So if you have any ideas on that also, we'd be much obliged.”

Sturges wiped his brow with his arm and looked serious, nodding. “I hadn't thought of that. I mean, after Nate, it just seemed that was the main task.” He sighed deeply. “Damn. It's still so strange us bein’ here buildin’ up on a place that had once been all those people's home in another time. Hell, another world.”

Jake nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it's still a lot to take in, but from where I see it, we're the lucky ones. I still can't fathom how Tess is handling this.” He flinched slightly when he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Tess next to him. His flesh bristled into goose bumps.

“Good morning Sturges,” she said as she moved closer to Jake, making his heart thud so hard he swore she could hear it.

“Mornin’ sunshine,” Sturges replied with a smile.

“I was thinking,” Tess began, “if you guys are gonna take on the task of hauling supplies over there, I'm gonna talk to Marcy and Jun and have them help me organize what's going from the bunker.”

“Good idea,” Jake said.

“And I just thought of an idea.” Sturges was grinning almost mischievously. “Jake, gonna need your help with this, buddy.”

“Of course.”

“Okay,” Tess said. “I'll be organizing things with the Longs. Just let me know what the plan is once you have it figured out.” She looked up at Jake again, “I'll see you then.” She gave Jake’s arm a squeeze and wandered off to her task.

“So, what's your idea, Sturges?”

The grin was still on his face. “Follow me, my man.”

The pair headed south out of town.

“Hey guys,” Tess said as she arrived where the Longs were chattering over their new farm. “Wow, this is nice,” she commented, looking over the rows of tatos, melons, and some type of short trees that had purple fruits growing on them.

They nodded and Marcy spoke. “Yeah, I'm really impressed with Jake and these ASAMs. I'd never have thought we'd be able to have all this. It's pretty great. I just wish…”

Jun frowned.

Tess went to Marcy and put an arm around her shoulders. “All of us here. Everyone. We are all dealing with so much. All we can do is our best and know that we can and must rely on each other. And on that note...” she took in a breath. “I could really use your help, both of you.”

They looked at each other then Jun said, “Sure Tess, anything you need. We, umm, well it's the least we can do.” He looked at Marcy and she smiled at him.

“As you know, we're trying to revitalize Vault 111 as a settlement. You are all going to be its first occupants, but there's a hell of a lot of work to do first. I could use your help in the bunker sorting and preparing items to be moved in there. Jake's working with Sturges to find a simpler way of moving it so we're not manually carrying it all.”

They nodded immediately. “Of course we will,” Marcy said.

“Great!” Tess tightened her arm around Marcy. “Finish what you're doing here and come on down, all right?”

“So,” Jake began as he and Sturges made their way out of Sanctuary, “Gonna tell me where we're headed?”

Sturges grinned, then looked at Jake. “You ever hear of Trashcan Carla?”

Jake's brow knitted, wondering if this was some sort of trick question. “Uh, can't say that I have.”

Sturges chuckled. “Well, we're on our way to talk with her. She's a trader. Probably the best known trader in these parts. And I think she might just have the answer to what we need.”

Jake thought about it and then it dawned on him. He'd been around this area enough to have seen the comings and goings of many traders. But there was only one female he'd ever seen in this region. She must be who Sturges was talking about. But what she had to do with anything, he … wait a minute. Why didn't he think of that!

“Sturges, you're a genius!”

Sturges chuckled. “Yeah, well, I'm just good at puzzles, you could say. I know she has a few brahmin stashed away. All we gotta do is haggle for one. Gets the job done and also gives us a brahmin for the settlement.”

Jake was really starting to like this guy even more. He clapped him on the back. “Good deal!”

“Oh, probly shoulda asked you before we left, but you got ammo, right?”

“We ain't gonna shoot her are we?”

Sturges bellowed a laugh. “You're a funny guy, Jake. Nah, you know the deal, just in case we run up on anything.”

Jake sighed. He was a good shot, and he didn't back down, but he hated having to use his weapon. Sometimes he wondered how he'd even managed to make it all the way up here from the south or how he'd stayed alive all alone in Concord, fought off raiders. But it still bothered him every time he had to draw his pistol. 

“I see your point,” Jake replied.

“I woulda tried to talk Preston into goin', but you try and pry him away from the group. That man is a machine; he'll walk that perimeter for hours on end. Since everything went down in Quincy and every point in between ‘til Concord, he's been more and more protective and vigilant. I don't think he'll rest until we have a thousand turrets put up.”

Jake nodded, he could appreciate that feeling of wanting to protect those close to you. Those you loved. He understood it all too well. “I get it, and I can't blame the guy,” he replied.

Sturges pointed ahead. “Right about this time of day Carla's usually givin’ her brahmin a break up there by the Drumlin Diner.”

Jake could just make out the shape of a brahmin and someone standing next to it. He frowned in thought. “How do you know her if this is her territory?”

Sturges chuckled. “Carla is the toughest trader in the Wealth. She trades as far as Quincy and we all got to know her. I trust her, that's why we're gonna deal with her.”

Jake was surprised. That was rough territory, yet this woman traveled to and from places even he wouldn't venture. They could see her more clearly now as they approached.

“Well, lookie there,” Carla purred, eyeing Sturges, a curl of smoke rising from a cigarette between her fingers. “How's my favorite fix-it guy? Glad to see you made it out of Quincy. I heard what went down there.”

“Hey Carla, yeah. Down here with Preston, Mama Murphy and the Longs.”

"Damn, that's all that's left?" she asked, sadness in her voice.

"'Fraid so."

Carla nodded. "Sorry to hear that. But hey, who's this handsome devil?” she added, glancing at Jake.

“This here's Jake Evans. Jake, meet Carla.”

“Pleasure, ma'am,” Jake said, offering his hand.

Carla grinned widely, reaching her hand out, looking at Sturges. “Well, ain't he a gentleman!” She laughed, then coughed as she put her cigarette back between her thin lips. She shook Jake's hand.

“Listen, Carla, we have a huge favor to ask,” Sturges began.

Carla took a big drag off her cigarette, one eye winking as smoke wafted up in her face. “Let's hear it.”

Before Sturges could speak there was a sudden commotion at the diner. A woman was yelling and a male voice yelling back. Jake had his hand on the butt of his pistol, Carla turned her head in the direction of the diner and Sturges sighed.

“We had a deal Trudy!” The male yelled.

“I ain't givin you chem pushin’ scumbags anything. You strung out my boy!” The woman inside had taken position inside at the window, her pistol resting on the sill. The man outside was with someone else, a woman it looked like.

Jake looked at Sturges. He could feel something was about to go down. He hated bloodshed, but since he was the only one armed – as far as he could tell – he figured it was his duty to try and diffuse the situation. He started to move and Sturges grabbed his arm.

“Jake, what are you doing?”

“Well we can't just stand here talkin’ business while people might be tryna off each other now can we?”

Sturges sighed. “Just... be careful.”

Jake's jaw worked as he mentally prepared himself and headed toward the diner.

“Ain't my fault the boy can't handle his chems,” the leather clad man shouted.

“Come say that to my face you bastard!” The woman inside shot back.

The man outside was about to say something but heard Jake approaching. He and his partner turned on him, weapons drawn. Jake put up his hands, “Woah, now. Take it easy. I just heard the commotion, just wanted to know what was wrong.”

“This ain't none of your concern, scavver, so fuck off.”

“Is that right,” Jake drawled back. He read the man's face, saw his partner, and glanced at the woman in the diner, trying to feel out the situation. His hands were starting to sweat. Leather man was wiry, dirty, had obviously had his nose broken at least once, and his teeth were rotten. Jake did not like the vibe he was getting from him at all. “How about you put those guns down, otherwise it becomes my concern, don't ya think?”

“All right, all right,” leather man said. He and his partner lowered their weapons.

“Good! Good,” Jake said, still not sure how this was going to play out. “Now what's goin’ on here?”

Leather man jerked his head toward the lady inside, “She owes me. A lot of caps.”

Diner lady huffed. “Like hell I do!”

Jake held up a hand to all of them. “Okay, let's not get worked up.” He really wished to hell he hadn’t had the bright idea of getting himself involved in this, but, too late. “Tell me what this is about.”

Leather man said, “Like I told you, she owes me money. Her kid bought some chems. I mean, I mighta given him some on credit at first, but hey, he came to me!”

“My son is in here writhing and sweating because of this piece of shit! He got him hooked!”

Leather man smirked in a way that let Jake instantly know the lay of the land. He told the guy, “Look, I'm just gonna have a peek in the window, okay? Just be cool.” He slowly went over to the diner and looked inside. There was a boy inside, barely a teenager, with definite signs of withdrawal. It made his skin crawl.

And in that moment, something in Jake shifted. It wasn't a crack or a loss of sanity, just a shift. He pulled his pistol and in two shots the leather clad drug dealers were down. He stood for what seemed like an eternity looking at their bodies. The woman inside came running out from the diner.

“Thank you sir, thank you. My boy almost died because of them. I will laugh when the crows start feasting on their carcasses. You need anything, anything at all, I'll give you the best prices in the Commonwealth!”

Jake just nodded. He heard footfalls. Sturges had trotted up. “Jake!”

Sturges looked down at the bodies then back at Jake. “Hey, you all right buddy?”

Jake blinked then finally looked at Sturges. “Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.” Actually, he didn't feel okay. He felt like a murderer. But that was just a kid in there. He thought of his daughter. What if someone had gotten his baby hooked on chems? It wasn't right. Just wasn't. He slid his pistol into its holster and started walking away.

“Jake? You sure you're all right?” Sturges asked again, putting an arm around his shoulders.

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes. Shake it off man. “Yeah, I'm good Sturges. Let's go get our brahmin and go home.” He wanted to see Tess. Needed to see her.

“Of course. Let's go.”

When they got back to Carla she was grinning at Jake. “Well, I see you're a man that can take care of business.” She snickered. “Now, what did you boys wanna talk to me about?”

Two hours later Jake and Sturges were walking back to Sanctuary with a brahmin in tow.

It was getting late. The sun was starting to set as Tess stared down the main street of Sanctuary. They should have been back by now, she worried. A few minutes later she saw them, and behind them was... a cow? But the closer they got the larger her eyes grew. Did that thing have – two heads? She sighed. Why should this even surprise her.

When she was able to make out the men's faces her heart began to sink. Jake looked absolutely drained of color. His eyes were open but they weren't seeing anything. Something had happened. Sturges stopped in front of her.

“I'm gonna go tend to this brahmin,” he said with a tinge of apology. He looked concerned and Tess looked back at him questioningly. He gave a hint of a smile and led the animal away.

“Jake?” She placed a hand on his shoulder and he slowly met her gaze. “Jake, what is it?”

He pulled her into his arms and she could feel him trembling. “Oh my god Jake, what happened?”

He whispered into her neck, “Not here.”

She pulled back and looked into his eyes. They were damp and lost. She grabbed his hand and almost dragged him to the bunker.

Once inside, he mechanically walked to the bed and sat. She sat down next to him. Her mind was racing. What could have happened to put him in such a state? She wanted to be there for him, just like he had been there for her since the moment they met. “Do you want some water? Can I get you anything?”

He turned and looked at her, his eyes welling up. She started feeling frantic. “Jake, tell me. Please.”

He took a deep breath, swallowed hard, and seemed to be coming back to himself. “I just murdered two people.”

She froze. How do you react to a statement like that? What the fuck happened out there?

“What happened, Jake?”

He finally started to talk. He told her what happened. But from what he said, it sounded justified to her. She felt she would have done the same thing. But there was something he wasn't telling her. Some little detail or piece of information that was missing for him to have wandered off into another dimension.

“Jake.” She tugged at his arm. “Jake, look at me.”

He did.

She knew he was somewhere else and she wasn’t sure if she should push, but he needed something to snap him out of it. She wasn't going to slap him so she simply pressed further. “Jake, what are you not telling me?”

His brow creased slightly and she could see his eyes come into focus.

“What triggered you,” she added.

“The boy. He was just a boy, Tess.”

So, it had to do with a young person. He definitely had some sort of trauma around a child. Now she was really curious. Seeing him like this was painful. Her Jake. The man with the smile that could revive the dead was now walking in a forest of shadow. “Okay, I understand. I would feel the same way, Jake. I mean, this may sound harsh and heartless, but I don't think it would have bothered me to rid this world of scum like that. Right?”

She hoped that would be an easier way to try and get him to come back, for him to face whatever it was that pushed him into this mental prison. She wasn't a psychologist, but her career in law had her cross paths with all sorts of people, with all sorts of mental problems.

He closed his eyes and reached for her hands. This was good. This was a step.

“Tess …” He finally looked at her. Present, alive. “I have to tell you something I've never told a soul since I came up here.” He paused, his eyes glistening. He swallowed hard. “I have a daughter.”

That was a surprise. Did this daughter come with a wife, she wondered? Did she have to feel that pang of jealousy out of nowhere just now? She sighed internally. Fuck. What a pair. “Okay…” she said softly, waiting for him to go on.

“I come from a place called Sanford. Pretty far south of here. It was Texas back in your day. I used to be married. It didn't last. But we had a daughter, Laura. She and I used to talk on the radio every night back home. And then one night Laura wasn't on the radio. This was not like her at all. She never missed a night with me."

He sighed deeply, then continued. "I went to their house to see if maybe the radio was busted or somethin’ happened to them, but they were gone. Just. Gone. No explanation, no goodbye. Just packed up everything and left. I finally tracked them up here and I've been looking for my daughter ever since. My ex ripped my life apart and stole the only person in the world that mattered to me.”

His eyes were welling up and so were hers. They were both dealing with the same loss. Almost identical situations, trying to find their children. It broke her heart. Now she understood. That boy was his trigger. That boy broke the shell he had built to hide in from the pain.

“Oh, Jake,” she whimpered and squeezed his hands, just sitting with him in silence. The cruelty of others would never cease to amaze her. It was completely impossible for her to imagine Jake Evans ever doing anything that would cause someone to abscond with his child. She refused to believe it. No one with that much pain on their heart could be as kind as he was if they were truly evil. 

Tears streamed down her face. Her heart ached. Ached for the life she could no longer return to. Ached for the husband she just buried—for her missing son. And now for this beautiful, tender man who just had his psyche broken for defending a boy. Because he, too, had had his life ripped from him. They were kindred spirits from different worlds and she had no idea what to do or what would happen or what any of it even meant.

Chapter Text

When Jake woke up, he was alone. He slowly got himself up and sat on the edge of the bed. His head hurt. His heart hurt. He rubbed at his eyes and sighed deeply. He hoped that his little meltdown hadn't pushed Tess away. He didn't realize just how much he'd been holding in – holding back. Hadn't realized just how much losing Laura had ripped him apart. Stolen a part of his soul.

Seeing that kid, vulnerable, taken advantage of by the dregs of the wasteland had broken something in him he couldn't face – his own feelings of failure and guilt. Feelings of betrayal that someone who he had once loved would just yank the rug out from under him and crush his life without a thought or care.

He sauntered to the bathroom. After using the toilet, he splashed cold water on his face, looking into the mirror. “Who are you?” he whispered, then sighed sadly. He needed to snap out of it. He'd never find Laura moping around like a sullen child. But first he needed to see how Tess was doing, if she'd maybe seen something in him that put her off. He didn't want that.

Just as he exited the bathroom, he heard the bunker doors opening. It was Tess. His heart skipped a beat and he found himself just staring at her. God this woman was beautiful and he knew he had no right to feel the way he did. No right at all.

“Oh, you're up!” she said. He stood there like an idiot, speechless. She came up to him, her face curious. “Jake? Are you all right?”

He smiled at her, hope burning bright at the way she was still... Tess. “Yeah, uh...” he cleared his throat, “About last night, I-”

She put a finger to his lips. “I swear to god Jake Evans, if you even think of apologizing...!” She opened her arms and he didn't waste a second. They stood there embracing and a warmth spread through him, a balm to his heart. This woman was either going to be his salvation or the death of him. Either way, he was happy.

“Umm, listen,” he started, pulling back to look at her. “I really am sorry.” He chuckled, putting his hands up defensively, “I know, I know... But I've been so focused, so intent on keeping my little mission a secret that seein’ another young person bein’ abused, in a sense, it just brought it all crashing down on me, the pain, everything. But I'm here. I'm on board.” He paused a moment, searching her eyes. “We good?”

She smiled at him. “Of course, Jake. I’m happy you trusted me enough to share that last night. You know I understand exactly what you’re going through.” She hugged him again, even tighter. “Now, come on. Sturges wants to talk to us.”

He felt relief wash over him like an April shower. He threw his boots on and together they headed out of the bunker.

Tess was elated to see Jake back to himself. She wondered why he hadn’t told her about his daughter before, but knowing that pain herself, she could understand. Not everyone could talk about wounds that deep. She thought about what he had told her, the altercation at the diner. Was that his “until you’re face to face with it” moment? Would she have been able to handle actually seeing a situation like that?

Hell, she hadn't been anywhere outside of Concord and Sanctuary yet. Trying to wrap her head around what was out there, what she was going to have to witness and have thrown at her terrified her. But these people – Jake in particular – gave her hope she would be able to face whatever she had to in order to find answers.

They made their way to where Sturges was waiting with his cow. Oh, wait, they were called brahmin, she remembered. The phrase “two heads are better than one” popped into her mind and she almost laughed. But holy shit, if they had been mutated like that... well, she was just glad that wasn't the outcome for humans or she would have never made it this far.

“Hey guys,” Sturges said as they approached. The brahmin was happily feasting on something that resembled hay or wheat in an old bathtub, which she actually found pretty practical. Sturges had his hand on one of the brahmin’s necks and one foot on the rim of the tub. All he needed was a stalk of wheat grass in his mouth and a straw hat. Farmer John. Old MacDonald. She coughed trying to stop a laugh from escaping.

“This is Buttercup,” he said with an air of pride, as though he were at the state fair brandishing the blue ribbon for best in show. “And she’s gonna get things movin’. Literally.” He gave the brahmin a slap on her shoulder and came to talk to them.

“So here's the deal,” Sturges went on. “Preston and I have been able to piece together a wagon of sorts. Preston and Jun are working on a harness over there,” his head tilted toward the Rosa house. “We salvaged a usable old car from one of the wrecks on the road that still had tires, and with a whole lotta work and a whole lotta cursin’, managed to get the top of it removed. With some of the old fencing here in town, we blocked it out and, voila, a wagon was born!”

Tess would never stop being impressed with how ingenious Sturges was. She knew just how blessed she was to have found Jake and the others. She tried to imagine a different scenario after emerging from the vault, like, only finding raiders. The thought chilled her to the bone. But these people made her feel there was a sliver of hope for her in this new world, that she had a new family, and that was how she was starting to see these people. Her family.

Sturges continued, looking back at the brahmin, “Once we get her rigged up, we'll be ready to rock.”

“That's fantastic,” Jake said. Tess agreed.

“There's one more thing, though.” Sturges said, his face suddenly solemn. “Tess, was wonderin’ if you had a spot you prefer to lay the others to rest here. And if it's all right, we could just have one ‘Sanctuary Grave’ for them since, well...” he trailed off.

Her body bristled with realization. Of course. Her neighbors! They deserved to be laid to rest as well. Oh god, another funeral? Was she even up to this? She felt Jake move closer as though he sensed her discomfort. She closed her eyes. “You're right Sturges, it's the least they deserve.” She took in a deep breath and let it out. “I'll let you all decide on the location this time. Anywhere is fine.”

Sturges nodded, his face sympathetic. “Yes ma'am,” he replied. “Jake? You up to givin’ us a hand?”

“Of course, just tell me what you need.”

Jake was really impressed with this group of people, especially Sturges. That man had a magnetism that he wasn’t sure anyone else noticed. He was the most mechanically gifted person Jake had ever met. Put his own skills to shame, if he was honest. They were all lucky to have him counted among them.

When he thought about it, he hadn't really gotten to know many people in the Wealth since he arrived. He talked to some of the traders in passing, chatted with a few groups of people trying to set up some sort of settlement and provided them with ASAMs – which reminded him, he needed to check on them soon. But Jake had never really taken the time to actually get to know anyone. He had become a recluse. All in the name of ‘I can do it myself’.

He was starting to realize that this was a coping mechanism. A way to keep people away, not letting anyone in or accepting help out of feeling he would then be obliged to them and that would interfere with his sole mission in the Commonwealth. But after meeting Tess, the barriers were falling away and a realization came over him that it was okay to let someone in. It was okay to share the burden, help each other, that it didn't mean you weren't still trying to accomplish your goal. It meant that you could find camaraderie and shared purpose, that by helping others you received help in return.

And building a sense of community, he realized, was something he needed and something he would want for Laura. Hell, wasn't that why he was trying to get the ASAMs figured out in the first place? So he could help people? He and Sturges made their way to where Preston and Jun were busily finishing up a makeshift harness for Buttercup. They looked up as the pair approached.

“Almost done, guys,” Preston said with a grunt as he pulled a strap of leather and wound it to a length of cable left over from their Red Rocket salvage. Jun held the length of the cables while Preston finished tightening the last of it. “There, he said, looking at their work. “I think that should hold.” He brushed off his hands and stood.

Sturges looked it over. “It came out pretty good, boss.” He turned to Jake. “Welp, let's give her a go!”

The men hauled the harness rigging over to the car wagon and connected it. It was a sloppy jury rig but it was sturdy and solid. Sturges went and got Buttercup and they all managed to get the harness on her. It was time for a test run and body retrieval. This would ensure the entire assembly was going to work before they put the supplies on it for the move.

Tess watched as the men worked. After Buttercup was secured to the wagon they all took a break, sitting in the growing number of chairs outside Tess's former house and chatted with Mama Murphy who always regaled them with wild tales from her life.

"Come on, Mama!" Sturges said with disbelief. "You're telling us you took down a deathclaw with one bullet?"

"That's right," Mama said, straight faced. “I was a great shot back in my day.”

"Mama, I may have been born at night, but it wasn't last night." Sturges retorted, which had everyone laughing.

It was a warm day, but thankfully there was a cool breeze. Codsworth had been fussing over them, bringing them water, trying to be of service. He was definitely in his element. No one wanted to get up yet, but the work had only just begun. Eventually the men departed and started digging the grave for the former Sanctuary residents.

Marcy – who to Tess's surprise was actually quite artistic – had been working on a sign for the grave. It matched the Sanctuary sign visible at the entrance to the town. A beautiful sun with rays on a light blue background with the names of all the residents carved into the wood from a list Tess had given her. It was a very nice memorial for them and Tess was touched by the effort. After seeing it, she asked Marcy if she would make something for Nate and Marcy happily agreed.

A while later the men returned – hot, sweaty and out of breath. Codsworth jetted over to them, bringing water and some towels. They gratefully downed the drinks and wiped off the grime and sweat. It was time for the trial run and retrieval.

“I'm going with you boys,” Tess said, grinning at them. She saw the mixed emotions in their expressions and snickered to herself. “It's okay guys, I'm not going inside with you, but there's something I need to take care of.”

Now they really looked puzzled. “We ready?” she urged.

The trek to the vault was slow and the bridge crossing was a bit tricky, but Buttercup and the rig held, and they eventually made it to the vault. Sturges looked at Tess. “Keep an eye on Buttercup.” He grinned at her, grabbed the stretcher from the wagon, then joined the men on the platform. Buttercup stayed put, chewing her cuds.

Tess moved to the guard post and activated the lift, watching the men disappear into the vault. She closed her eyes, feeling the wind caress her face. Now to her task. She had seen a shovel behind the structure the last time they came. She grabbed it and got to work.

It was a grim task that only reminded the men of the last body retrieval and its significance. At least this time, sad as it was, these bodies were all skeletal which made the work that much easier. Still, they tried their best to be as careful as possible, not wanting to break any bones. There were three bays of pods that they were able to find, but they started first with Tess's neighbors. They moved them on the stretcher and laid them near the lift at the entrance. Once they finally had them all it was time to start bringing them up.

Jake had seen so many skeletons in his life that it had gotten to the point he didn't even notice them anymore. It was just part of life. Part of the wasteland landscape. But now, removing these skeletons, it changed his entire perspective. These were once living, breathing humans. They had lives and loves and arguments and dreams. They were people Tess knew. People she had shared her life with. The weight of it was a pain on his heart.

As the lift finally finished its slow ascent to the surface, they saw Tess patting fresh dirt over what looked like a grave. They all just stood and stared. Tess was sweating and stood to face them, one hand on the top of a shovel handle, and a look of satisfaction on her face. Her eyes then went to all the skeletons at their feet and she visibly paled. Jake feared he was going to have to catch her again from a fainting spell. Instead, she returned her gaze to them, to Jake and just nodded.

Jake went to her. “Darlin’, what's all this?” he queried, looking at the grave. The others joined them.

“Well,” she panted, “This is the man who saved our lives. Well, our lives until the pods at any rate.” She pulled up her t-shirt to wipe her face and Jake immediately flushed as she exposed her belly. “When the bomb dropped on Boston, we saw the mushroom cloud as we stood there on that platform,” she pointed sadly. “This soldier,” she nodded down to the grave,” pushed the button for us to descend, just as the blast wave was coming right at us.” Her face went serious. “This man is... or was, a hero and he deserved a place to rest as well.”

No one spoke. So much death and sadness. So many lives wiped out. Jake realized that aside from Tess, no one in this group had really had any sort of concept of the past, as far as individual people. Tess had brought them all a new way of thinking. A new insight into her world, her time. They had among them – through her – a living, breathing piece of history and it was humbling.

“I think that's just fine, Tess. And I agree. But why didn't you ask for help?”

“It's okay Jake,” she looked at them all. “I wanted to personally do this myself. This... unknown soldier willingly died to save others. And I was among those he saved. It was my desire to thank him the only way I could.”

Preston removed his hat and bowed by the grave. Jake could see that Preston truly had a military heart. Then he looked at Tess. “Come on little lady, I think you've done enough for today.”

The men carefully placed the remains of her neighbors on the wagon and they all made the slow and clunky journey back to town. Marcy was pounding her sign down into the earth at the head of the grave when they all returned. The late afternoon sun was casting amber and golden rays on the ground. It was both beautiful and somber, a fitting scene for the task at hand.

Once the neighbors were laid to rest, everyone sat together around a small bonfire and ate, chatting away, sharing stories. In that moment, Jake knew what it was to be a human being. Knew in his heart that this really was what life was about. But the aching hole in it all still yanked at his happiness. Nagged at him relentlessly. Even the joy of the moment wasn't complete without his Laura.

The next morning, Tess was feeling the blisters on her hands and the pulled muscles in her back. Jesus she was out of shape. She moaned a bit as she stretched and slid out of bed. Jake was still asleep and his face was so peaceful, she didn't want to wake him. She went to the bathroom and then took a shower.

Afterward, she looked in the mirror and had a flashback of standing in her own bathroom, just outside the bunker in her old house. Nate was standing right next to her. They were talking about the day, his excitement about his speech at the Veteran's Hall. She turned away from the mirror and closed her eyes. How long would the ghosts of the past linger?

She dressed and left the bathroom to find Jake sitting on the edge of the bed looking at her. It was odd, she was only just now realizing that she was pretty much living with him. It sent a shock wave through her heart. What the fuck was she doing? Now she felt as though she was using him. Using him like some sort of emotional support blanket. It wasn't fair to him. She knew he had feelings for her. Hell, she had feelings for him! But that's about where it ended.

Need hugs? – Jake.

Need help? – Jake.

Need to forget nightmares? – Jake.

Damn, this was all wrong.

“Good mornin’.”

Jake's impish smile stabbed at her guilty heart. She had to have a sit down with him, but knowing she might hurt him spiraled her emotions into a dark place. Look at that face. That beautiful, kind, trusting face. This man who had pulled her from the wreckage of her grief and confusion and sheltered her through her worst storms. This man who she was finally, truly seeing past the clouds and fog of shock and pain would do anything for her. She knew what that meant and she suddenly froze inside.

She would give anything to be what he wanted. To give herself to him. But she realized that if she was honest, she could not. She may never be able to. The anguish and torment of not knowing where her son was – it was almost too much to bear for herself. She could not let another person carry that weight with or for her. Especially when he had his own burden, trying to find his daughter. No matter how much she needed to be near him, with him, it would not be real, and he deserved so much better. Guilt and shame seared her soul as she looked at him.

She smiled back at him. There was so much going on right now and it didn't feel like the right time for an earth shattering discussion. “Morning Jake.”

He threw on his boots and stood. “So, you ready for another exciting day of back breaking work?” he asked playfully.

“You really know how to charm a girl,” she responded with a chuckle.

Oh god, why? Why did she have to break this man's heart? The most amazing human she'd ever met. And yes, in some ways, even more remarkable than Nate, and that was saying something. And it hurt to even admit that. But she was still in love with her husband. It was too raw, too… too soon. For now, there was work to be done and she really did want to get this move completed. For her new family. She had grown to love them all – all for different reasons. And now was not the time for that conversation.

Jake huffed out a snicker. “I try my best.” He grinned at her. “Shall we?” he asked, holding an arm out as if to escort her to the exit.

This time Tess stayed behind and watched as the men strode away with Buttercup to retrieve the last of the bodies from the vault. They had found two more bays with remains and this was the last step in preparing the vault for stage two: cleaning and stocking.

Her heart ached for what she knew was going to be a huge turning point in her relationship with Jake. But she had to be honest. Had to. Living a lie was something she would not do. Just then she saw Mama Murphy settling into one of the chairs outside... her house. She went and joined her.

“Hello, child,” Mama greeted. Her cataract eyes still able to burn right through her.

“Morning, Mama,” Tess replied, studying her. Waiting for what she could already tell was something on the old woman's mind.

Mama reached out and took one of Tess's hands and she held her breath in anticipation. But Mama just sat quietly for a few moments and then leaned back in her chair without a word.

O...K…

“All those people,” Mama began. “They're all real grateful for what you done. You should know that.”

Tess just sat quietly then nodded.

Mama turned her face back to Tess. “His name was David.”

Tess looked confused for a moment. Who was David?

“That soldier you buried.”

Tess felt her pulse quicken. She already knew Mama had the gift. Had no doubt about it. But fuck if it still wasn't out of left field sometimes. “David,” she said quietly.

“You did good, kid. You did a good thing for him.”

Tess bowed her head. “It was the right thing to do. He saved my life.”

“So many souls wander here. So many voices…” Mama trailed off.

Tess agreed. She couldn't see or feel what Mama could, but she could see the aftermath. The unimaginable loss and suffering. Sometimes she couldn't bear it, but Mama had to hear them, talk to them. It was a marvel to behold.

“Well, I should go see if Marcy needs help with anything,” Tess said as she rose to leave. But Mama took her arm.

“You need to wait on that conversation.”

Tess froze. A breeze came suddenly, blowing her hair across her face. Taking a steadying breath, she sat back down slowly. “Mama?”

“I get it, you know,” Mama began. “Rules. Propriety. Social norms. It's what gets ingrained in us,” she said, poking a finger into her own head. “It's how we get brought up. Psychology and all that,” Mama snickered derisively. “I know how things were in your time. But sometimes there are things at play that we don't see or can't understand. Sometimes things just are. Understand?”

Tess sighed and thought for a moment. “I think so.” But she really wasn't sure. “I don't want to hurt him, Mama,” she finally said.

“I know honey. And I know you're hurting. I also know you don't want to burden people. But you're learning that everyone needs someone, we all need each other. Especially in this world, the one you find yourself in now.” Mama tilted her head back, then cocked it to the side as if she was listening to something. Then she took Tess's hand again. “You were meant to find each other. For whatever purpose that holds.”

Tess felt hot tears stinging her eyes. “I don't know what to do Mama.” She started to cry.

“There, there child,” Mama comforted her. “I know. It's all pain and confusion, grief, regret and need. You feel unmoored, like a boat floating away on an open sea. But you need to see things with fresh eyes. You need to remember you're not in your old world anymore. And though you will face many trials ahead, you will never be alone.”

Tess sat in thought for a minute. Even she had to admit that having met Jake was her sole saving grace in this new world. She didn’t even want to think about how things might have gone if she hadn’t. But how one interpreted “meant to find each other” was totally up for debate, as far as she was concerned. However, she still felt convinced that leading someone on when you weren’t able to reciprocate their affection was wrong.

And now, thinking about it further, she was mostly to blame. Completely to blame, actually. It was her insistence that he stay with her in the bunker. A mistake fueled by grief and loss. One she now regretted even more deeply. It was just so unfair to the man. Maybe she wouldn’t have “the talk” today. But at some point, this needed to be addressed. Destiny or not.

“Thank you, Mama,” she said, giving her a hug and kissing her dark, leathery cheek before heading off.

Chapter Text

“So just put this rotor in here and...” Sturges was concentrating on the contraption in front of him.

“Right, then once it's seated in the chassis – yeah , right there – then it'll run on its own.” Jake instructed.

Sturges ran a hand over his face and looked at Jake. “Well I'll be damned. Brother, you are the first person I've ever met that might know even more than I do about slappin’ parts together to make somethin’ new!” His face was beaming.

Jake blushed. “Well, we all got our tricks, Sturges. Just happy I could help out.”

They both looked at the turret with satisfaction as Preston came by from his incessant patrolling and stopped, then whistled. “Well, now. Is that what I think it is?”

The other men nodded with pride.

“I'll be damned,” Preston muttered, then looked back at them. “And you can make more?”

“Yep,” Sturges replied.

Jake finished bolting the panel and stood. “I'm gonna see if I can program an ASAM to make something a little better, defense-wise. For now, we got enough parts to make three or four more of these. Should deter any wanderers, for the time being.”

Preston actually put his rifle down and smiled. “Great job guys, really great. Appreciate the work. I'm sure we'll all feel a little safer now, at least while we’re still topside.”

Tess had been sitting with Mama Murphy, watching the men work in the workshop carport as they finished the turret. Everyone had decided to take a down day from trips to the vault. The inventory was ready to go and Codsworth had even expressed his excitement, having been placed in charge of clean up. So today, the two ‘tech titans’ started building some defenses for the town. Even though this group was about to move into the vault, Tess wanted Sanctuary to be prepared for new settlers at some point.

Preston stepped up to her. “You got a minute?”

“Sure, what's up?”

Preston started walking and Tess followed him until they were away from the others. “Look,” he started. “I know you have a lot going on right now, but there's something I've been meaning to ask. You know I told you about the Minutemen and how I was the last one? Well, that's not entirely true.”

She nodded, “Okay…”

“There are remnants around. Some who still serve in some capacity or another. True, we're not the force we once were, but I think we could be again. Just yesterday I actually ran into one of our number who had wandered up here. He usually just scouts around to see if he and his small band can help people. They told me about a settlement that’s been having some trouble with raiders.”

She looked at him expectantly, allowing him to continue.

“These men said they were too ill prepared for this mission. They don't have any armor, few weapons and scarce ammo. Now, I know this is a huge ask, but after I saw what you did in Concord, I figured it didn't hurt to run it by you. You have exceptional weapons skills, you're a natural leader, think on your feet, and to be frank, I can't try and pull the Minutemen back together by myself. So…”

Tess pretty much knew what was coming next, but she waited since it seemed Preston had given this a lot of thought and preparation. She admired him, so the least she could do was listen.

“I think you should be the one to bring the Minutemen back. I know that sounds like an impossible task, but I'd be with you every step of the way, and if we did start to gain momentum, we'd be able to help more people, destroy more raider posts, and begin to make the Commonwealth safer for everyone. Especially now that we have Jake and his ASAMs. Just think of it! Safer settlements, fast building for homes and food. Maybe it's a bit ‘pie in the sky’ but nothing ever happens without trying. So, what do you think?”

Tess looked at his expectant face and gave him a smile. “So what exactly would this require of me, Preston?”

“For now, just taking some trips to local settlements, talking to the people, seeing what they need. The settlement with the raider problems is a bit far out and we can figure that out later.”

“And that's all? What about filling the ranks, how does that work?”

“Well, my idea is, we start helping settlements, teach them to use these ASAMs, get them set up a little better than they are with a little more defenses, and then, if they're satisfied, maybe some or all of them would be willing to join us. A network of settlements flying the Minutemen flag. And with Jake's ideas, I can only see this growing.” He watched for her reaction.

Tess looked down, kicking her toe over some pebbles in the road. She looked up at him. “I can't promise that I'll be mentally present at all times, Preston. But what you’re proposing is a really good idea. I'd like to talk to Jake about this first since this involves him, too. But...” she paused. “I wouldn't mind going on a visit to a local settlement. I need to start getting out there and learning about my new world, no matter how scared I may be.”

Preston looked elated. “That's great! I knew you'd understand. I have no doubt you’re the right person for the job. And don't worry, no pressure. We take it all at your pace. And tomorrow, if you want, we can take a trip out to Abernathy Farm. It's the closest settlement to us. I know the Abernathys so it will be a great introduction to how people live here.”

Tess smiled up at him. “That sounds like a plan, Preston.”

“Good deal!” he said, offering her his hand, which she shook with a chuckle.

After Preston sauntered off on his rounds, she returned to the men. She reached out and threaded her arm through Jake's. He looked at her, “Hey, Tess. What's up?”

“Walk with me.”

“All right,” he agreed. “Hey, Sturges, I'll be back shortly, see if you can get the next one started. I have faith in you!”

She heard Sturges chuckle as she and Jake headed to the large oak in the cul de sac. They both sat in the sparse grass that grew in the circle. She could feel his anticipation.

“So Preston just asked me to do some very interesting things.”

Jake shifted slightly and she inwardly chuckled. “Is that so? And what 'things' did he ask of you?”

She leaned back against the rough bark of the large tree and turned her head, looking at Jake's face. She suddenly had a shooting pain through her body, an ache, and it was for him. The dreaded conversation looming like a dark cloud in her mind. She sighed deeply.

“He's asked me to help him rebuild the Minutemen.”

Jake's eyes narrowed in thought, looking down at a blade of grass he was twisting with his fingers. “What would you have to do?” he asked finally.

“Well, according to him, he wants to start slow. He thinks that with my weapons training and your tech, we could slowly help the settlements grow, defend themselves, and in the process have them join the ranks. To have a network of Minutemen settlements and enough people to start taking the fight to the raiders.”

Jake looked at her and she could see the wheels turning. “Clever man,” he said, his face thoughtful. “But I still don't have all the info and tech I need on the ASAMs, plus I don't have enough for full settlements. I'd need time to get to that point.”

She nodded, “I see,” and thought for a moment. “Jake, where'd you get the ones you have?”

He smiled. “I found 'em in some storehouse that used to belong to RobCo. There may be more there but I just brought back what I found. To be honest, since I like to tinker with that kinda crap, I was hopin’ to learn how to make them myself. It was more of a hobby until now. I never dreamed of the possibilities until I saw what they could do.”

“I'll let him know. He wants to take me to the Abernathy Farm tomorrow, thinks it's time for me to see the world I live in outside of Sanctuary.”

Jake visibly stiffened. “I'm coming with you,” he stated resolutely. No “may I” or “do you think it would be all right if...,” just “I'm coming” and that's the end of it.

She smiled at him. “Why Mr. Evans, do you not trust the ever-honorable Preston Garvey?”

“Aww, now you're just teasin’,” he drawled.

She giggled. “I say, the more the merrier!”

Jake grinned happily at her.

“Do you think I should pursue this Minutemen thing?” she asked.

“Well, sure. I know about ‘em. Seen one or two of ‘em from time to time. They have the right idea, at least. Can't hurt to have more help tamin’ the wastes. Just as long as you're up to it, I'm in full support. And I'll help any way I can. But…”

“What?” she said, seeing his face change. “What is it?”

“Well, part of what's gonna be involved in all this is takin’ on raiders, I'm sure he told you that. More of what you dealt with in Concord. You sure you wanna commit to that?”

He had a point. That encounter in Concord was so spur of the moment, and she was still shell shocked and fresh out of the vault then. Would she be able to have deadly shoot outs with scumbags like that? It was certainly something to sleep on. She knew she had the skills, but after seeing what taking out the drug dealers did to Jake – and he was from this world – she now feared she might crumble. Or worse... enjoy it.

“You make a good point,” she agreed. “But let me ask you this. Are there any people or groups in your world out here that can or have stood up to these assholes?”

Jake sighed. “And now you have a point,” he countered. “Damn, I want the same things; a safer Commonwealth, people prosperin’ and not just scrapin’ by. But the cost of that is danger and death. It's a risky proposition but if no one does anything, then nothin’ changes.” His brow furrowed as he thought. “It's really up to you, Tess.”

She looked at him, feeling the weight of his words. It all seemed so surreal. As comfortable as she had been getting, there was still so much she didn't know. So much she hadn't seen or faced yet. Did she have what it takes to help pull people together for a common goal, knowing the risks involved? Did she want to do this? She reached out and took Jake's hand.

“You know,” she began, “I never did get that shiny Sheriff's badge we talked about.”

Jake laughed heartily.

The next day, Tess, Jake and Preston headed out for Abernathy. Tess had assigned the Longs and Sturges to start loading the wagon with provisions for the vault. She looked forward to finally starting the move. She only hoped that going back down there wouldn't affect her the way walking into her house did. But this was something she wanted and felt she would be able to adjust.

As they walked behind the Red Rocket, Preston pointed to a very large, very tall radio tower in the distance. “Y’see that tower there? That's the Abernathy's farm.”

Tess put her hand to her forehead to shield the sun then nodded. “Yeah, I see it. It really is close to us, isn't it.”

Jake was fiddling with his Pip-boy and Tess looked at him curiously. “What are you doing, Jake?”

He looked at her and grinned. “Oh, just checkin’ messages,” he replied with a mischievous grin.

“Is that right. You have a fan club?” she replied with a smirk.

Jake chuckled. “Actually...” he started, turning a dial and then scrolling through text. “Hot damn!” he exclaimed.

Tess, amused, asked, “Did you win a sweepstakes?”

Jake laughed softly, “Darlin’, you could say that.”

She waited.

He saw her look and said, “Okay. I have this contact in Diamond City. His business is, well, findin’ things, information and such. Well, he just found somethin’ that might give us all exactly what we need!”

She grinned at Jake's excitement. She still marveled at the man, finding the smallest joys in this world. “You gonna tell me, or do I have to beat it out of you?”

“Sorry... hold on.” He was hen pecking on the screen, typing something. “There. All right!” He looked at her with a huge grin. “There's this machine called a 'Comm Hub' that my associate was tellin’ me about that apparently can interface with the ASAMs. If we can get it, I might be able to start programmin’ 'em for more kinds of uses. Buildings with different functions that can really help settlements out.”

“Really Jake? That sounds great!” But then she saw his face go serious. “Oh, let me guess, there's a catch.”

“Sharp as a tack you are. Yeah, I'm afraid so. The building where it's at has been taken over by a raider gang.”

“Of course it has,” she said flatly.

“Whatta ya think? Wanna help me get this thing? I know I can't do it alone.”

Tess looked at Preston who grinned back at her and shrugged.

“How many we talkin’ about here?” she asked.

“Not really sure, but it's at the old Air Force satellite station, Olivia. It's a good size but my guess would be about a dozen, maybe more. Not gonna lie, it'll be dangerous. But this equipment could really turn things around for us. I leave it up to you.”

Oh great. Rubber? Meet road. She guessed she was going to have to face these dangers at some point. She already knew she was living in a hostile world. She knew she'd have to eventually fight her way toward finding Shaun, but her first instinct – and she'd like to think it would be anyone's instinct – was to avoid danger at all costs. But it was time to start getting her feet wet. “Okay, we get the Comm Hub.”

Jake was beaming. He put his arm around her, giving her a squeeze.

“Jesus, Jake. What have I gotten myself into?” She shook her head, smiling.

Just ahead the farm was coming into view. The main structure was large, made from dilapidated wood and constructed around the base of the radio tower. There was a fenced in pen in front of it with a brahmin and rows of tatos growing beyond it. She could see a man and a woman tending the crops. Preston jogged ahead. The man at the crops stood when he heard Preston's greeting. Jake and Tess were coming up right behind them.

“Well I'll be,” the man said, removing his glove and reaching a hand out to shake Preston’s. “It’s been a long time.”

Preston smiled at the man and nodded. “Yes it has,” but then he sighed. “I don’t know if you heard…?”

Blake grimaced and nodded. “Yeah, trader told us. I’m sorry, Preston. Glad you’re okay.” The men were silent for a moment before Blake continued, “Still can’t thank you enough for what you and your Minutemen did for us after…” He cleared his throat.

“That’s what we’re here for. Well… it was…” Preston’s expression darkened, his jaw working, then he smiled, as if wanting to lighten the mood. “Anyway – Blake, these are my friends, Jake and Tess,” He said in introduction.

Blake turned to them and nodded his welcome. “Long as you're with Preston, I'll consider you friendlies,” he stated, leaning on a rake. He returned his attention to Preston. “So what brings you out here today?”

“Tess here is, uh, rather new to these parts,” he cleverly stated. “I was just showing her around, seeing the sights.”

Blake laughed. “Yeah, quite a sight to behold, eh?”

Tess grinned. “You have a nice farm here, Mr. Abernathy.”

He made a face at her. “Please, it's Blake. Over there's Connie, my wife, and...” he started looking around his land. “Somewhere is my daughter Lucy.” His face got serious then. A shadow passed over his features. “Out back is the grave of our oldest daughter. Shot by raiders for no fucking reason.”

Tess felt her heart sink. Now she was even more inclined to help the Minutemen, to help these settlements. “Blake, I'm so sorry.”

He rubbed his face with a heavily calloused hand and looked at her appraisingly. “I tell you this as a caution. If you decide to settle in these parts, make sure you're armed at all times. I know Preston here is doing his damnedest to bring the Minutemen back – and believe me, they are needed – but until then, sleep with one eye open.”

The man was gruff but she could see the pain in his eyes. Everyone was silent.

“What's worse," he continued, "they took her locket. An heirloom passed down through Connie's family. Not even worth a cap to anyone but us. They took it for spite, took it because it caused pain. That's who they are. I don't know where you're from, don't know if you have raiders or other gangs, but stay on your toes, and keep close to this man,” he pointed at Preston.

“Look, it was nice to meet you folks, but we gotta get back to the crops. Been a lean year.” Blake turned back around. “If you need a rest, make yourselves at home. Connie'll be startin’ supper soon, you're welcome to join us.” He returned to his crops.

They all looked at each other and nodded. As they headed inside the large building, Jake spoke up with sadness in his voice. “Poor guy, losin’ his daughter like that?” A sentiment they all shared.

Tess really liked the Abernathys. The dinner was delicious and fresh, and the family was very down to earth. Lucy was very talkative and cheerful. She was at that age where you wanted to know everything, go everywhere, but it was obvious her father was hyper protective of her, which she could not blame him for in the slightest. It pained her heart because she could not protect her own child, and it gave her a moment's grief.

After supper they sat around a fire pit outside, just past their brahmin Clarabell's pen, sharing beers and stories. Blake stood, scanning the horizon around his land. “Best you folks bed down here for the night. Wouldn't sit right with me if something happened to you on your way back.”

Tess knew she would miss her bed, but this was what she wanted; to see the actual Commonwealth, to talk with settlers, learn how they lived. She'd have to shed her pre-war lifestyle now and then for the common good, no matter how much it made her back hurt. She smiled. “Thanks, Blake. We appreciate that.”

Tess was pleasantly surprised to find she had slept well. The Abernathys had several spare mattresses and she and Jake had put two side by side in a nook off the main room. She was also happy to see Jake in better spirits when they rose. Another person losing a daughter – even though she was older than his Laura – was still close to home for him.

They packed up their gear and met Preston outside, ready for the return trip. After they bid farewell to the Abernathys, they started out. Then Tess remembered something Blake had said. 

“Jake?”

“Yes?”

"What's a cap?”

Jake and Preston both started laughing.

Chapter Text

Of all the things Tess could imagine people using for currency, Nuka-Cola bottle caps would have been her very last guess. But then, when she thought about it, what actual value did her old money have, other than kindling for a fire if you just took what is was made of into account? Still, it was an odd concept. She supposed all societies needed some sort of means to trade, but she would have imagined gold, or silver, something that had actual value. She had to admit, some caps in your pocket would be a whole hell of a lot lighter to carry.

The trio was nearing Concord. Jake stopped and said, “Hey guys, I'd really like to go to the hardware store and grab some stuff, if ya don't mind?”

“Why don't you two go ahead, I should get back to Sanctuary.” Preston was ever the mother hen over his charges.

“Be careful,” Tess said. “And thanks for the tour!”

Preston chuckled. “You two take care, see you back home.”

Home. He said home. Would she have ever imagined after leaving that vault and seeing this new version of her world that Sanctuary would be her home again? Not a chance. But it was. It was home. And it only was because of these people. Her new family. The feelings of guilt started to permeate her mind and heart, the “norms and propriety” Mama Murphy brought up. A widow who clung to a strange new man even before she buried her husband. She closed her eyes tight, willing the pang to depart. The encroaching day of “the talk” looming as dark as ever.

“Tess?”

She opened her eyes and smiled. “I'm good, Jake. Let's go.”

They took the road that ran in front of the museum, slowing cautiously as they got closer to the hardware store. They stayed low and quiet, just in case there were more raiders or anything else roaming about. The town was silent, save for the wind rustling the banner of the museum, random trash scooting along the road. She stood with her back against the brick wall of the store right next to the window, rifle at the ready. 

Jake crouched low by the sandbags. He peeked inside and motioned for her to move. She jumped over the bags and took point in the doorway. Jake entered and quietly went upstairs. After a moment he came down. “All clear.”

With a sigh of relief, Tess went inside. “I don't know when or if I'll ever get used to how quiet it is in this world.”

Jake looked at her thoughtfully. “I guess I never really gave that much thought. I'm sure with cars and people and animals 'n such, you had a lot more sounds.”

She nodded. “Oh yeah.”

"Well, darlin’, wait till I take you to Diamond City. You'll get your ears full then.”

She propped her rifle against a cabinet. “Speaking of which... You've mentioned it, Mama Murphy has mentioned it. What is Diamond City?”

Jake slid his backpack off, looking around the room. “Used to be a baseball park, though there's some debate on what 'baseball' actually was. I've been a pretty avid reader in my life. I know about the sport from your time. Anyway, it got turned into a big city-like settlement. It's really secure. They even have a school there for kids.”

Her jaw dropped. “Are you talking about Fenway Park?”

“That'd be it,” Jake replied. “But most folks don't care what it used to be. Don't even care what baseball really was. Whatever you do, don't go talkin’ to Moe about it. He's got a shop there all about baseball, and his idea of the sport, well...” he snickered.

“Any idea why Mama's advice, premonition, whatever, told me to go there? About Shaun?”

Jake thought for a moment. “I think I might have an idea, but there's one way to find out! We'll have to plan a trip there. It's a bit of a hike, though.”

Tess stood in thought for a moment. As much as she needed to find Shaun, she thought the safest bet for herself and others was to start growing out their network. Safety in numbers and all that. But right now they needed to get back to Sanctuary to get the move in going.

"As anxious as I am to find him, Jake, I really want to get the vault set up, maybe even start helping Preston with other settlements. I have a strong sense that I'm not going to just roam around the Commonwealth and stumble across my son. And I'm sure it wouldn't be safe to do that. We need numbers and I think this would be a good start in getting them."

He nodded. “Well, first things first. Lemme grab the stuff we'll need here. Next, I think we really should go try and get that Comm Hub. Can't build out settlements till I can figure out these ASAMs – at least how to have them do more. I think it'll be a really crucial first step, agreed?”

Tess nodded. “Agreed.”

Jake trotted upstairs and brought down two good sized duffle bags. Did this man rob a Fallon’s? she wondered. He seemed to have an assortment of goods stashed up there. They spent a while going through things, packing up, and then they were ready to go. Jake stopped for a moment, looking around at the store. She could see this place meant something special to him. “Jake? I promise we can come back and visit.”

He chuckled then slung the bag over his shoulder.

Just as they were about to exit the store, Dogmeat came tearing around the corner barking. They both stopped and looked at each other. He ran right up to them and locked in place. He was growling and his fur was standing on end. What the hell?

They both dropped their bags and immediately armed up just as a solid metal covering exploded from what looked like a passage down into the city's underground.

“Ah shit!” Jake screamed, his arm slamming against Tess, nearly knocking her on her ass. “Deathclaw!”

Tess was momentarily dazed, unable to understand what was happening. What made Dogmeat show up? Why was Jake's voice so shrill? What was that horrific noise? And then she saw it. The words came back to her; the description Jake had given did not do this monstrosity justice. It was big and leathery and pissed off.

Dogmeat valiantly raced out to meet it, making Tess's heart seize in her throat. He was ripping its ankle to shreds. The beast reared its head back and roared so loud she thought the glass would shatter. It spread its arms and she saw the claws. Finally, her instincts kicked in and she clicked the rifle into auto and began firing. Jake had run upstairs and for a split second she thought he had left her. But then she heard his pistol shooting down onto the thing's head. He was trying to lure it away from the store.

It roared again, completely ignoring Jake, and started stomping toward her. Her heart stopped. It flung its arm in to swipe her. She jumped back and the creature was caught in the doorway, jerking its body. She feared he would bring the whole fucking building down on her. She kept firing, this time aiming for its eyes. One of them exploded, tissue and blood streaming down its face as it howled in pain.

Dogmeat was ruthless, he had ripped into the thing's calf so deep, she could see tendon. The deathclaw had had enough and backhanded Dogmeat so hard he went flying into the museum's door with a heart-wrenching yip and ragdolled down to the ground.

“No!!!”

It was now trying to find a way to get inside at her. It smashed one window, then another. Her mind was a mixture of sheer terror and determined anger. Just how many fucking bullets does it take to down this bastard!

Suddenly Jake was back down beside her with a new toy. She'd never seen anything like it. It was huge with rails on it and something that looked like a large toy rocket. “Get upstairs, NOW!” he barked. She ran, hearing him add “And take cover!”

She flung herself on the floor, pulling the sleeping bags they left out over her head. She could just make out Jake's voice, “All right you scaly fucker, eat this!”

There was a whooshing sound, like launching of fireworks, and then the building shook from an explosion. She curled up tight, quivering. Then everything was silent. Throwing off the sleeping bags, she started coughing through the smoke and dust. “Jake!”

She flew down the stairs. Jake was sprawled on the floor, soot and plaster all over him. Her heart was booming. She took his face, “Jake! Jake, can you hear me?” Panic seared through her like a wildfire. He wasn't moving. “Jake! Don't do this to me!” Tears stung her eyes. She lifted his torso up and held him. She felt air escape his mouth near her ear. “Jake?” She pulled back to look and his eyelids were fluttering.

“Tess...” he croaked out with a weak cough.

“Oh my god Jake, you scared the shit out of me!” She started looking him over. “Are you hurt?” He had all his limbs and fingers, she didn't see any blood, but he was struggling to breathe properly. She was sure he had some broken ribs.

“St...stim...” he tried to speak, struggling to point his finger toward the stairs. She gently put his head down and raced up the stairs, looking left and right, then finally saw a small box with a latch. Med kit. She grabbed it and rushed back to his side. She took out a stimpak and slammed it into his thigh. Within a couple of minutes he was breathing easier.

Jake finally opened his eyes all the way, but she could see he was in pain. He cleared his throat, trying to speak. “Darlin’...”

She put her fingers over his lips. “Shhhhh, save your breath.”

He shook his head under her hand. “Dogmeat,” he croaked out.

Oh shit! Her head whipped toward the museum. She was torn – stay and help Jake or get the dog? He gently pushed her. Damn stubborn man! She took off.

Dogmeat was in a pretty bad way. She carried him back to the store, crying even more. This amazing animal had somehow known and ran all the way from Sanctuary to Concord to protect them. He was heavier than he looked, but she was pumped with so much adrenaline right then she could probably have carried them both.

She laid him down next to Jake and opened her own pack this time, remembering her promise to herself to keep her stims like they were the crown jewels. But looking down at this heroic mutt, he was the crown jewel to her. If not for him, they would have been outside in the open when that thing came out. She gave him the shot and waited.

Jake was starting to feel a bit better, sitting up on his own. He looked gravely at the dog. “Good boy,” he said in a gravelly voice, running his hand over the dog's face and neck.

Tess looked at Jake with tear stained eyes. “I thought I lost you.”

Jake gave her a crooked smile, wincing as he tried to move. “Can't get rid of me..." a cough... "that easy,” he joked, his voice still strained.

He motioned her to him and she scooted up against him, hugging him gently. He still had a raspy quality to his breathing she did not like. As the adrenaline started to dissipate, the events of the last few minutes started to play over in her mind. Did Jake just blow up that monstrosity? “Jake? What was that contraption you brought down here?”

“Fat Man,” he whispered.

Did she know what a 'Fat Man' was? If she did, the trauma must have pushed it from memory.

“Fat Man,” she repeated back.

Jake nodded. “Mini... nuke launcher.”

It felt like someone had just sucked all the air from the room. Did this man just say he shot a nuke at that beast? “You shot a nuclear device. At a monster. Right outside the door.” She wasn't sure if she was asking a question, or just saying the words to try and make sense of them.

Jake started coughing and she realized it was because he was laughing.

“Jake Evans, are you insane?!”

Now he was really laughing, but he winced and coughed so badly she felt a little guilty. But what the fuck, Jake!

They both looked down when they heard a slow thumping on the floor. Dogmeat's tail was wagging weakly.

“Dogmeat!” Tess was overjoyed. His eyes were now open and he whimpered softly.

Tess sighed. Her boys needed more medicine and rest and she sure as shit couldn't get them back home on her own. She opened her Pip-boy and turned the frequency. “Codsworth?” Some static and hissing, and then the familiar voice.

“Miss Tess, is that you?”

“Yes, Codsworth, listen, I need you to do something for me right away.”

A few hours later she was in the bunker. Jake was in bed sleeping soundly. A couple doses of Med-X had done the trick. Preston had examined him briefly when they brought him down. He had bruises around his rib cage. He definitely had broken ribs. Mama assured her he didn't have any life-threatening injuries but he was gonna be hurting for a bit.

She stroked his cheek, deep in thought. She had been so prepared to have the shit scared out of her if she ever encountered one of those beasts. But truly, the worst fear she had felt was when she saw Jake lying there on the floor of the hardware store. “Don't you ever scare me like that again, Jake Evans.” She leaned down and kissed his cheek.

Before she could raise back up, his hand slid into her hair and pulled her back down to his face, their lips a breath apart. She was startled, and suddenly didn't know how to react. Half an inch could change their entire relationship. “Jake?” she whispered tentatively. He moaned and his hand slid from her head down to his side and he mumbled something under his breath. He was fast asleep.

She slowly sat back up, her heart pounding.

“Pretty hair. Mine...” Jake muttered through the Med-X haze.

She winced slightly, looking at his peaceful face. “Oh Jake. I’m so sorry…” Her heart twisted in her chest. She placed her hand against his cheek. “Rest now.” Feeling tears threatening, she rose and slipped out of the bunker. She had another patient to check on.

Preston and Sturges were both outside the bunker when she emerged, concern on their faces.

“Ma'am? How is he?”

"He'll live, Preston. He's banged up but fortunately we had the meds."

“I can't believe you guys had to fight a deathclaw!” Sturges's face was a mix of horror and awe.

“Well, we were fighting it until Mr. Genius decided that nuclear warfare was the answer,” she retorted.

The men laughed. “Don't worry, it's not the same kinda nukes you had to deal with,” Preston assured her. “But it definitely packs a punch!”

“Can't argue that,” she agreed.

They went to the front of the house. Tess needed to check on her other best friend. Mama Murphy was in her chair and Dogmeat was right beside her.

“See, I told ya Dogmeat, here she is.”

Tess smiled seeing the dog looking like his old self.

“He just got the wind knocked out of him. He's a tough guy,” Mama chuckled, scratching his ears.

Tess sat down and patted his head. “I still can't believe he ran all the way to Concord. And just when that thing came out!”

Mama looked at her. “You know that there are some animals with gifts, too. Dogmeat is sorta like me. I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. I saw him take off from here and I knew you were in trouble.”

Tess just shook her head. “Mama, after everything I've seen so far, there's not much left that surprises me. Then again,” she sighed. “I haven't seen all that much and I'm not sure if that should worry me.”

Mama grinned. “I think after what you just faced, you're ready for all the other things. Just stick with Jake and Preston and you'll be fine.”

Tess chewed her lip in thought, then looked around to be sure they were alone. “Mama?”

The old woman looked at her expressionless.

“Does anyone think differently about me being so close to Jake, you know, since I just lost my husband? I feel that they may have the wrong impression of our friendship.”

“Child, these people think the world of both of you. And to be honest, people here don’t judge like they did in your time.” Mama looked at her curiously. “Honey, you can't overthink in this new existence. Things change here so quickly sometimes. In this world you adapt or you die. There's no more picket fences and white weddings. You're only as strong as the people around you.”

Tess sat with this for a moment. Mama and Jake were such driving forces in her new life. They both gave her something she needed. Jake was her hero, her confidant, her best friend. Mama was her mother, her spiritual advisor. Every one of these people brought something to her that made her who she was becoming in this new chapter of her life. And the more she thought about it, the more she knew she wouldn't have it any other way.

As if to confirm her thoughts, Dogmeat made a friendly chuffing sound and licked her hand.

Thanks to the chems and much needed rest, Jake was up and around after a few days. The gang had all finished moving the supplies to the vault. Having been barred from entry as all the work was being done, Tess was getting antsy. At least she was being kept apprised of the progress in real time. Jake, Sturges and Codsworth had finally gotten the transformer repaired and power restored. Jun and Marcy, with the watchful eye and clear instructions from Codsworth, had cleaned the place up nicely. Tess felt she was finally ready to go down into the vault. It was another milestone in her journey of healing.

And now, here she was, standing on the vault platform for the first time since that fateful day.

“You ready, darlin’?” Jake asked.

Tess took a breath. “Yes.”

But as she watched Sturges jog over to the guard stand, she started shaking. She could see the mushroom cloud, hear the whir of the vertibird blades, the screams of the people who hadn't gotten in yet, the shouts of the soldiers' orders. She felt the wind blowing around her, saw the blast wave racing toward her... She was holding her breath.

“Tess...” Jake's face was concerned. He pulled her into a hug. “Just hold on to me. Just look at me, okay?”

She nodded, thankful he was there, but wishing she hadn’t needed him so much in that moment. Sturges hit the button and raced back to the platform to join them. The sound of the lift going down, the soft landing, the squeal of the safety gate ascending – it made her feel as thought she were reliving it all over again. They turned to find Jun and Marcy waiting for them, their faces beaming. It was so good to see them smiling and it lifted her spirits immediately.

“Welcome home, Tess,” they said. It was very touching. 

“I hear you two have been busy little bees down here,” Tess said, feeling more in control of herself.

Marcy rolled her eyes. “As if we had much choice with Codsworth in charge.”

Tess laughed. “Yes, the codgy Handy does like clean. Let me guess, he was all up in arms about dust.”

Jun shook his head, “You can say that again.”

She snickered. “Okay, let's see what you have all been up to.”

Chapter Text

As they all walked through the Vault, Tess did her best to remain calm. It had been hard stepping out of the lift and willingly going inside. The pain was still there. The anger, the confusion of it all. But as they made their way down the first hall she started to feel a lightness. Hearing the sounds of her fellow settlers – living, breathing people – in the previously dead vault, helped relax her a bit. But when Jake walked her into what she was told was the Overseer's office, her jaw dropped.

Looking up at Jake she said, “You guys really have been busy!” He smiled at her, his pleasure apparent. They had left the main room virtually the same. Jake told her that Sturges had cleaned up the terminal, even adding a program on it for organizing chores and inventory. And of course, there were no more skeletons. She also noticed that there was now a door that separated the adjoining room.

Jake gave her a gentle tug forward. “Come on, I want you to see something.”

They went through the new door and Tess gasped. They had turned the room into a proper bedroom. She couldn't even imagine how they had done all this in the span of a week. There had already been a bed here, but they added two upholstered chairs, a floor rug and her paintings – all from her house. She was silent, just taking it all in.

“We weren't sure if you'd be all right with some of these items, since...” He paused, his eyes evaluating her reaction.

“Jake, this is amazing!” she exclaimed, then looked down. “It was really hard to walk into my house, I'll admit. It probably still will be. But these things really make the space feel like home, and I can't believe you guys did all this!” She leaned her head into his shoulder, noticing the bed had been made with sheets, blankets and even pillow cases! “Jake,” she asked, “where did you guys get bedding? I know there was nothing in the houses.”

He chuckled. “There was all sorts of it stored away here for the staff.”

“It’s more than I could have imagined.” She shook her head in pleased disbelief.

“This is now your room. You're the General – at least that's what Preston's been callin’ you – and everyone here owes you so much, it was only right you got the 'command center,' as it were.”

She walked into the bathroom, which now had a curtain for privacy, and was blown away; running water and a working toilet! For a few moments she just stood there, taking it all in. “I wasn't even sure if this idea of mine would work. You guys did it! I don't have the words…”

Jake was smiling happily at her as she returned to the bedroom. “Well, you deserve it. You have a lot of work you're gonna start havin’ to do up top and you deserve a place here that's all your own. This vault is a home we can all be proud of. Now, let's go see the rest.”

As she was given the tour, she noticed that the men had sealed off the pod bays. She started tearing up. All the thoughtful little things they had done. Done just for her. She started feeling as though she didn't really deserve it. As they went further into the vault, she was presented with another surprise. There were two more levels below them.

“I had no idea!” She really didn't. But then, she spent all of five minutes in the vault before she was put on ice.

They took an elevator down to the second level and came out to a similar floor plan. “Over there,” Jake pointed, “is the cafeteria. This level was used by the crew, the scientists. Mama's been busy helping Marcy get things set up in there. We still have the kitchen on the first level, more of a break room, really, but that'll mostly be the gang's hangout.”

They walked down more halls that had multiple rooms to be utilized. They were bedrooms with enough room for storage and seating, complete with kitchenettes and lockable hydraulic doors for privacy. “Everyone's already picked out their digs here,” Jake told her. “I've claimed the one at the end.” He stated calmly.

She felt her heart sink. Panic ate through her veins. Oh my god, why was she reacting like this? Isn't this what she wanted? She swallowed hard, her eyes getting blurry. She wanted to run out of the vault and scream. Scream at herself, scream at this fucked up world. She couldn't manage her emotions, how she felt about anything. Jake had done exactly what she was going to talk to him about and now she didn’t like it. What the fuck, woman!

“Oh,” she said. For fuck’s sake, ‘Oh’ is that all you have to say? Why exactly was she reacting this way? Was it because Jake had “the talk” on his own? Or maybe that he had come to the same conclusion? Was she that fucking insecure that it would only have been right if she was the one that had made this happen? Or was it some juvenile hurt, as though he was breaking up with her? It was so ridiculous and so maddening she started trembling, angry at herself.

“Tess?” Jake's voice was soft. She flinched.

“Darlin’, you okay?” He was looking at her and she couldn't read his face. Worry? Confusion? Pity? She had never fought this hard in her life to stave off tears as she did in that moment. She simply nodded at him, returning her gaze down the long and distant hallway.

Sitting in the cafeteria, Tess drank the tea she had just made. Her body ached, but from what, she couldn't discern. She was numb. Disconnected. But then something dawned on her and she almost laughed at herself. Visions and messages from beyond. How you interpreted them could make all the difference. Mama hadn't said "wait on that conversation" in a way that meant "keep living with Jake." It was exactly what it said. "Wait." And voila, the situation took care of itself without her having to break the man's heart with her words.

But shit, if she was this bent about it, she could only imagine how Jake was feeling, knowing full well that he harbored deep affection for her. She may be a little loony since entering this world, but she wasn't stupid. And his feelings for her were the reason for all this in the first place! Jesus, she needed to sort her shit. She was suddenly startled as she felt someone sit down next to her on the cafeteria bench. A hand was on her shoulder and she closed her eyes.

“General?” he caught himself, “Sorry, Tess?” Preston's voice.

She took another sip of tea and willed herself to smile. “Hey Preston. I still can't believe what you all have accomplished down here. I feel sort of bad for not helping,” she finished with a frown.

Preston just smiled at her. “It was a fun project. Hard as hell, but well worth it.”

She knew he had a question or an idea by his serious demeanor and turned to look at him.

“Listen, I just wanted to touch base with you again about future plans. Would this be a good time?”

She wanted to scream again. Scream that she didn't want to talk to anyone. About anything. But she realized that this thing that was eating her up was hers and hers alone to deal with. These people did nothing wrong to provoke this agitation she was feeling. Self-induced agitation, to be more precise. “Sure,” she answered.

“I know you have a trip planned already with Jake to find that ASAM equipment he's been wanting to get his hands on...” he started.

Her body tensed immediately. Jake. A planned trip with Jake. Just the two of them. It made her feel warm, but also torn in half.

More tea…

“...But I was thinking that after you run that little errand,” he said with a humorous chuckle, “you and I could get together and start planning out our next steps. Helping and building up settlements and hopefully fortifying our numbers would be best handled by you, but of course I can be with you as backup. We're definitely going to have to invest the heaviest in defending this place, and quickly. If word gets out – and it always does, somehow – that people have taken residence in this vault, we won't be alone for long. And it won't be the welcome kind of guests.”

She sighed, realizing he was right. Whether she had thought about this or not, just cleaning out the vault and moving in all happily ever after was not going to cut it. The wastes were still out there. And so were raiders, Gunners and others that would love to take a place like this. “You're absolutely right, Preston. I'd definitely like to get this place secure, first and foremost. What are your thoughts on that?”

“Well,” he began, “Sturges and Jake have already made some turrets. But that's not gonna give us much cover on the outside. Raiders or anyone else with a gun can shoot those down pretty easily from range. Me and the guys were thinking that we could make that entryway inside the vault more fortified. Turrets do a whole lot better when they're the ones firing first. We should also come up with a schedule for guard duty, round the clock. It'll be easier once we start getting more people.”

He paused, looking at her with the faintest glimmer of concern. “However, Jake told me that you two can lock the lift through your Pip-boys and that will be our first layer of defense. Make it very difficult for anyone to get in. Unless they have a Pip-boy, but until I met you and Jake, I'd never seen one before.”

She looked at Preston, now more focused. “I think that's an excellent idea to start our defenses with. Can you guys come up with the details? I'd feel better having you, Sturges and Jake work on that effort. The sooner the better. I think for now we've moved in unnoticed, but I want to be sure we're all safe.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he said, beaming at her. “I'll meet with them and see what we can get going. In the meantime, we can't thank you enough for getting us in here,” he looked around grinning, “into a place with safety from the elements and amenities I never dreamed of, that's for sure!”

Jake sat on his bed, running a hand up the back of his neck and over his hair. Since the tour with Tess, he was conflicted. She seemed to have pulled away from him in some way when he told her about his room. He thought it was the right thing to do. Hell, it was the right thing to do. Didn't feel like it, though. In fact, it was killing him if he was honest. But it wasn't fair for him to constantly be around her. She'd only been up here for a few weeks and hadn't seen the half of it, far as the wastes went. He didn't want to add to her burdens.

But he was going to miss holding her at night. Miss sleeping next to her. Waking up with her. He groaned. Why'd he have to go get involved like that? His heart was racing and there was a knot in his stomach. Just how the hell did he wind up getting so attached to a stranger in the span of days? He laid down on the bed, one arm behind his head. He felt as though he couldn't breathe. It was the loneliest he had ever been in his life.

On the top level in the new hangout kitchen, Preston, Sturges and Jake sat at one of the two cafeteria tables. Codsworth was there as well.

“We're gonna need to bring more materials down here,” Sturges began, “and what we're missin's gonna have to get scavved. Have we thought about who's gonna be our scav team?”

“We're finding ourselves in a catch 22 situation,” Preston replied. “We need scav runs, we need builders for the defenses, and we need guards. I just don't see this being complete until we have more people. That's where I think Tess is gonna come in,” he stated.

Preston looked at Jake, studying him for a moment. “Jake, what do you think?”

Jake returned his focus to the men, unable to shake his anxiety. “Well, I’ve been around these parts longer than most of you, so I’d be happy to help plan out scav trips. We could maybe assign someone, or one of us, to do an inventory of what’s needed, then I can suggest places I know where we might find some of it.”

Everyone nodded. “That’s great, Jake, thanks,” Preston said. “And there’s another issue I'm going to talk to Tess about: the process for picking who gets to live down here. We want to be sure that whoever joins the vault family is vetted to everyone's satisfaction. I'd love to believe everyone out there struggling in their current situations would be trustworthy, but we all know how that goes.”

They were all silent for a few moments, everyone thinking of what had to be done.

“Mr. Garvey,” Codsworth spoke up, “I may not be a Mr. Gutsy, but I would be honored to defend our home until you have recruited more people. I require no sleep and can man the station indefinitely,” he finished with his usual confident air.

They all looked at him in surprise.

“Thank you, Codsworth,” Preston said with a smile. “That's a great idea. You're hired!” Everyone had a good laugh as Codsworth visibly jutted up proudly and zoomed off. “Well, that was easy,” Preston said with a grin. “At least it's a first step toward our goals. Now, let's compare notes on all the top priorities,” he continued.

Tess slowly wandered the halls of the new and improved Vault 111. She felt as if she were floating, an apparition of the past, ethereal and unseen in a time that didn't belong to her. She made her way to her new bedroom and stared at the big double bed wondering how it was going to feel to sleep on her own now. She knew it was what needed to happen. For Jake's sake, more than anything. But now that the situation had totally bypassed "the talk," she wasn't sure what to think.

A part of her was arguing that she should tell him to stay with her. And then she got angry again. She groaned. This was exactly why Jake needed his own place. She was an emotional train wreck. Fuck! Why did this have to be so confusing and difficult! But in all honesty, she was just worried about him. She had used him. And realizing that was a tough pill to swallow. It was just so unfair. She adored the man. Wanted the best for him. And right now, Tess Vanderbilt wasn't the best anything. For anyone.

She went and sat on the edge of the bed and leaned her elbows on her knees, rubbing her face. It was so quiet. Just the distant hum of the transformer. It was actually very soothing. She sighed and flopped herself back on the bed as she tried to piece it all together. She invoked her inner lawyer, the one that could build a case, go over the details, plan out a winning strategy. But winning a trial was a far cry from sorting out her deepest emotions, desires... her feelings for a man she barely knew, and the guilt that came with it.

She woke up to someone knocking on her door. Shit, how long was I out? she wondered. “Who is it?”

“It's me,” came the familiar voice.

Her heart immediately jogged to life and she found herself straightening her hair and brushing down her shirt. Jesus woman, what are you doing?!

Opening the door and seeing his smiling face almost ended her. She willed the tremors to withdraw and stepped back. Her nerves were raw. She was again fighting the urge to tell him to stay with her. But she had to respect his wishes. She just hadn't realized how hard it was going to be.

“Come in,” she said as brightly as she could.

Jake stepped into the room and looked at her. She saw a sadness in his eyes she'd never seen and hoped that there wasn't something wrong, some bad news about… well, anything. He dropped his eyes from hers, looking around the room. “It's nice and quiet in here,” he said, still not looking at her.

She got in front of him, her head cocked. “So, Mr. Jake Evans, what brings you 'round these parts?” she drawled, hoping to ease his apparent discomfort.

He smirked and looked at her, not saying anything for a moment. “Well,” he started, clearing his throat, “Wanted to check with you on when would be a good time to go after that ASAM equipment. We really need to get on that, if that's all right by you.”

How wonderful it would have been in that moment to just dive into his eyes and swim there for the next ten or... thousand years. “Tomorrow sound good?” she answered, struggling to keep her composure.

“It's a date,” he replied and then blushed.

She smiled, and unable to control herself, she hugged him. He didn't immediately hug her back and something died in her. But then she felt his arms encircle her and pull her tight.

The trek to Olivia was more eventful than she had expected. After they had crossed the river, they had followed its shore a ways and then scrambled up a slope that seemed to have been used as some sort of access path. At the top was an old utility unit, probably used for power back in her time. Just as they scaled the crest, they immediately heard the tell tale sounds of molerats. At least she had had a trial run already. They made easy work of them.

But within seconds, they were being shot at. They both jumped for cover behind the thick trunks of the trees about fifteen feet away. Bullets whizzed and splintered bark. They looked at each other, nodding their plan unspoken, each of them squatting and leaning to one side of their tree. Tess lined up her first shot and dropped the male closest to them. Jake shot wide on the second raider but took him out with his next shot.

Suddenly Tess felt the stabbing pain of teeth in her left arm. A mongrel dog had run up and latched onto her. She yelled and instinctively yanked her arm away from the mutt, but that only made it worse. The pain was incredible. She heard Jake shoot once and the sound of the dog's last yelp. He thudded next to her and she fell on her side, holding her arm, moaning in anger more than pain.

“Darlin?” Jake immediately knelt by her. “Let me see,” she didn't move, “Tess!” he almost shouted, then softer, “Darlin’, let me take a look, please.”

She sat up and held out her arm, wincing. He whipped out his knife, cut the sleeve of her shirt open, and hissed. “It's not pretty, but you're gonna live, promise.” Then he dropped his pack and shuffled through it, pulling out some meds. Without asking he stabbed a stimpak into her, bracing her arm over his knee. His face was twisted with anger and worry as he looked back at her.

“Thanks, Jake,” she said, straining to withstand the slightest movement of her arm. “I can't believe I didn't see that fucking mutt!” she spit out.

“Well, least he didn't get your trigger arm,” Jake joked, obviously trying to lighten her mood.

She looked at him, into those green/brown beacons of kindness and felt that yearning, that need to just be in his arms and she closed her eyes. She was doing it again. Using Jake as a shield for everything. Yeah, she cared about him deeply. He really did soothe her, protect her. But she couldn't just go running into the man's arms all the time and expect him to just shut off his feelings. No, hard as this was, it was for the best. And who knew... maybe one day she would be ready to move on in that department. And if the man still carried a torch for her, she'd be the luckiest gal in the Commonwealth. It was just so fucking sad.

“You always have my back, Jake,” she smiled at him, fighting the burning pain in her arm. As her arm started feeling a little better, she gently slid it off his knee and started moving it slowly, testing it out. “That feels much better already,” she said with some surprise.

“Well, that's what meds are for, no?” His smile didn't completely reach his eyes and the heaviness she was already feeling sank lower. She just nodded with a wan smile. “Can we sit here for a few more minutes?”

Jake sat down next to her. “Of course. If you think you need another, let me know. I still have a few left.”

“Save 'em.” Tess said tersely. “We may need them in Olivia.”

Jake nodded.

They sat in silence for a while, the midday sun beating through the sparse leaves of the trees that were alive, illuminating the dead ground. The dead surface of a dead world. Tess felt now she would never fit in here, never adapt – never find her footing and know what to do. Maybe even never find her son, or worse – never know what happened to him at all. She squeezed her eyes shut, more convinced than ever that, though painful, this new path they were on in their partnership was for the best.

Chapter Text

From their crouched position behind a tree, surrounded by tall, dead grass and mutfruit bushes – which Tess now recognized, thanks to some agricultural lessons from Marcy – Jake whispered, “There it is.”

They had made their way to Olivia. Raiders were moving around near the entrance, others in a raised building with grated ramps where a dog was also on guard. Tess was aware of her arm again. The field dressing, made from strips of her former shirt, felt tight against the painful bite. The bleeding had stopped but the throbbing had not. She started trembling. But from anticipation, fear, or pain, she couldn’t say for sure.

The whirlwind of thoughts and emotions storming her mind was causing her to lose focus. She had practically followed Jake to this spot on auto pilot. She felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped. Jake’s face was a mask of concentration. He inclined his head toward a path that ran parallel to the road and he started to move quietly. She followed. Ahead was a small building with a yard of junk, surrounded by chainlink.

“What is this place?” she whispered.

Jake gave her a mischievous smirk. “Follow me.”

Down at the other end of the yard was a very large robot of some sort. It looked military, but she didn’t remember Nate ever mentioning it. Jake was standing in front of it, grinning.

“Okay,” Tess said, still confused, “There a reason we’re standing in front of a robotic King Kong?”

Jake laughed softly. “Darlin’, do you know what this is?”

Clearly not. “A robot?” she deadpanned.

“This is a military unit, a Combat Sentry. Meaner’n a deathclaw! I’ve passed by this place a few times, always meant to come and take a look around.”

Her eyebrows raised. “Impressive. But it doesn’t look functional.”

Jake turned to her, that boyish joy on his face. Her chest hurt and she swallowed hard.

“You leave that to me,” he replied. “Come on.”

They went into the small building near the entrance. Inside was a terminal, as well as a footlocker and some pretty nice items she was very surprised no one had picked up. A military circuit board, some chems in a med kit, and strangest of all, a magazine that looked almost new. While she gathered the goodies, Jake tinkered with the computer and she heard the sound of a holotape being ejected.

“Got it!” Jake exclaimed, holding it up. “Let’s fire it up!”

Tess frowned. “Fire what up?”

She watched as Jake put the holotape into his Pip-boy and scrolled through some menus. Then she heard the bellowing sounds of the Combat Sentry coming to life. She took a few steps back, eyes on the door. A deep mechanical voice spoke outside in the yard.

Current Objective: Patrol immediate area and neutralize any hostiles that pose a possible threat to the US Military and/or its citizens.

The large caster-like wheels of the bot rolled through the yard, crunching dirt and dead foliage. She moved to the door and peeked out. Seeing that huge thing coming toward the building was quite a sight, but a tad frightening. It turned in front of her and continued on its lap around the yard. Her attention was diverted when she heard Jake behind her.

“Now, let’s put this baby to work for us.”

She returned to Jake who was looking intently at his Pip-boy and then she heard the Sentry speak again.

Initiating defensive procedures. Checking mapping protocol for nearby Military emplacements that require assistance.

“Dang it, that’s not it…” Jake continued fiddling with the menu.

Be advised. Hostiles in area. Threat neutralization in progress.

“Oh shit!” Jake blurted out. “Tess, get back!”

There was an all too familiar sound outside. She and Jake moved further back in the room, weapons at the ready.

Non-combatants are advised to stand clear of weapons discharge.

Molerats started popping up all over the yard. The Combat Sentry blared a warning that reverberated through her body. It was loud and otherworldly. The bot started firing its lasers at the molerats. Fine by her, she thought. Less ammo wasted.

But when one of the molerats popped out right in the doorway, she felt Jake bodily slam into her, thrusting them across the room and onto the floor. The laser of the bot’s weapon disintegrated the molerat and part of the wall directly behind where they had just been standing. Her arm screamed agony from the contact and her breath caught.

She looked up at Jake with a mix of pain and amusement. “So, this was your big idea Jake?”

He blushed and extricated himself from on top of her. “Umm, well, not exactly,” he answered sheepishly, helping her up. “I just figured we could use the big guy to help us with the raiders.”

“Uh huh.”

“You all right?” he asked. “Sorry about the tackle. Shit, your arm…”

Tess stared at him, holding her arm. “I’m fine. Thanks, Jake,” she lied, biting down the burning throb.

The bot had finished its attack as now all they heard was the sound of its patrol in the yard.

“Okay. I think I got it now,” Jake said, back to the menu of his Pip-boy. “Here we go. Programming destination, and…”

USAF Satellite Station Olivia detected as requiring assistance. Engaging navigation routine.

“That’s it, let’s go,” Jake said, taking Tess’s hand.

A smile crept over her lips as they exited the building, following the bot down the road, Jake’s warm and familiar grasp leading her.

They watched from a safe distance as the huge robot made its way into the satellite station yard. The raiders were firing at the bot, but were decimated almost immediately. Once everything was quiet, they made their way cautiously inside the gated area where the entrance building stood.

The bot muttered another statement, something about returning, but then it suddenly pivoted. A molerat was running straight toward them. It had something strapped to it and it was beeping. The bot fired and it exploded in a fiery ball, knocking both of them back on their asses.

“What the fuck!” Tess yelled as bits of molerat and clumps of dirt rained down.

“Suicider,” Jake replied, wiping off the debris from his clothing.

“Molerats commit suicide? Tess asked shakily.

Jake helped Tess up from the ground and chuckled. “Actually, that’s just what some call ‘em. Raiders’ll sometimes capture molerats and strap ‘em with explosives. When the molerats attack people, they have a bit of a kick to ‘em.”

Tess shook out her pony tail then checked her rifle. “Seems there’s a lot of kick to a lot of things in this world.” She replied wearily, looking around the yard. Once it was quiet again they entered the building.

Weapons at the ready, they opened the interior door and quietly made their way down a flight of concrete steps that made a 90 degree turn to the right. At the bottom landing Jake stopped to disengage some sort of laser trap that spanned the doorway into the station. He holstered his pistol and went straight to a computer terminal on a desk just inside the room. “I’m gonna see what info I can find here. Hang on.”

Tess looked around. Ahead of them was a wall with tall, thin cut out windows that overlooked the inside of the station. Just ahead to the right was a security door.

“Okay, here it is, the shipment my associate told me about, from J. S. Magnusson. It was definitely sent here and I think it’s in that room ahead, which seems to have some pretty tight security. It’s gonna take me a few minutes to hack this. You think you could handle scouting ahead? See if you can take a few raiders out?”

Tess stiffened. The moment was here. The test of her mettle and skills. No more wondering about it. No more putting it off. This was reality. This was her life now. Ready or not, she would either face it or fold. She removed her clip, checked it with a shaky hand, shoved it back in, and made sure the safety was off. “I’ve got this,” she said.

Jake turned to look at her. “I know you do.” He winked.

She raised her rifle and looked through the scope beyond the wall slots. She could see a few raiders milling about. Crouch stepping to the end of the room, she saw hallways to the left and right. She peered around the left corner, then moved to the right. It had a stairway about ten feet in. She went right..

Where the stairs turned left, she leaned to peer around the corner. At the end of that hall was an open arched room where a raider was pacing back and forth. She dropped him with one shot and waited. Nothing. A modicum of fear mingled with her rising adrenaline as she moved further in. She noticed a doorway on the left and moved through it, taking cover behind machines and furniture. Above her, two raiders and a dog were walking on a grated gangway. She slid around to the base of the ramp and crept up, but the dog smelled her and all hell broke loose.

As quickly as possible, she took out the dog and the two raiders, flying across the gangway into the adjacent hallway. She almost caught a bullet as another raider came out from an opening on the right of the hallway. She dropped him and moved in. It was a bathroom. As she was looking around, she heard voices taunting her from below.

“Gonna just hide, little girl?” a male voice.

“You think this is our first fight, bitch?” a female voice. “Come see what I got for ya!”

Quickly swapping to a full clip, she decided to double back through the entry room. Moving across that grating would make her easy pickings. She sprinted back down the concrete stairs she had previously taken to the room where she dropped the first raider. It had an open doorway to the left. She figured this must be where the remaining raiders were.

Just as she took down one who was leaning in a doorway across the next room, the wall she was crouching against started exploding in pieces. The female taunter was shooting a mini gun at her! She dropped to the ground and rolled behind a cabinet, then leaped to the hallway again, peering around the corner with her rifle. She could see the red hot metal of the mini gun’s barrel slowly coming into view.

“Oh, I know you’re there,” the female taunted.

“Yeah, I’m definitely here, bitch,” she muttered to herself.

As soon as the mini gun-toting raider’s torso was in her line of sight, she riddled her with bullets until she fell. Tess’s heart was hammering. Adrenaline, like nectar of the gods, fueled her forward to finish the task. This is exactly what you worried about, she thought, giving her a moment’s pause. She was enjoying this. She closed her eyes. The male’s voice brought her back.

“Playing hide-and-go-seek little girl?” he taunted.

Trotting back to the now splintered wall, she listened carefully. He was moving slowly. She took the advantage of surprise and jumped into the room firing. He fell with a thud. All was quiet now, but that didn’t mean it was clear.

She moved forward, checking a side room then approached a set of double doors that someone had childishly locked by putting a screwdriver through the handles. There was a tool box in front of it. It was locked, which she found both odd and interesting. She shot the lock off and started rooting around inside. It was mostly junk. But then the light flickered off something shiny. She pulled at a chain at the bottom. It was a locket.

This must be Blake’s daughter’s locket, she surmised.

As she put it in her pocket, she heard gunfire coming from where Jake was and sprinted back. Two raiders were shooting at him. Jake had taken cover in the entry stairwell. She dispatched them in seconds.

Now it was all quiet. She saw Jake’s hair, then his eyes as he slowly peeked around the safety of the wall. “That should be all of them,” Tess said.

Jake came back into the room. “Much obliged, darlin’.” He returned to the terminal and hit a few more keys. The security lock on the door made a soft click.

Inside the secured room were a lot of valuable items that they divvied up and stashed in their packs. At the back of the room was a large wooden shipping container, its lid already removed. They both peered in. Lots of parts, electrical components Tess didn’t recognize. But Jake’s face made it clear this was their prize.

“And here she is,” he said with a grin. “Although it doesn't look like time’s been too kind to this ol’ gal. I’m seeing some degraded parts…” he trailed off, picking through a few items. “Guess we’ll find out when we get it back to base.” He looked back up to Tess with a smile, then a frown. Tess?”

She didn’t understand his expression. “What?”

Jake moved to her, his thumbs running down her cheeks. She thought she would lose it at his touch, then realized he was wiping tears. She was crying?

“Darlin’? What is it?”

She started shaking, staring at Jake. He pulled her into his body and the floodgates opened. She tried to speak but nothing came out.

“Tess…”

She clung to him, desperation and need clouding her mind of anything else. Her psyche grasped for anything that would keep it from shattering.

“Darlin’, talk to me, please.” His voice was calm, caring, concerned.

The sobbing continued and she felt Jake leading her somewhere. He pulled a chair over from one of the desks and sat her in it, crouching down on the floor in front of her, holding her hands. “Please, tell me,” he begged, his face contorted with worry and confusion.

She looked into those eyes. Those beautiful eyes that always held truth and trust. The eyes of the man who was her foundation in this terrifying world. A man who she instinctively knew was just a little in love with her. A man she was heartbroken over because she didn't want to break his heart. And everything that had just happened mixed with everything else and she broke. “I… I can’t do this,” she began.

His hands squeezed hers, encouraging her to continue.

“When I knew what was going to be expected of me, to do…” she lowered her head, taking in deep breaths. “To do what I just did. I worried that it would either break me or I would end up enjoying it.” A few hitching breaths caused her to shudder. Jake’s eyes locked on hers, patiently letting her speak. “I did, Jake. I enjoyed it! What am I? Who am I now?” The tears started flowing again.

Jake pulled her from the chair and wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back, holding her the way he always did, the way that let her know she was safe. But no amount of hugs could fix what was happening to her mind.

“Oh, Tess.” His voice was low and soft. “My poor darlin’.” He soothed her hair, his warmth flowing into her like a salve.

She looked up at him, pitiful and ashamed.

He looked deeply into her eyes. “Tess… this is who we all are.”

She started to cry again and he held tight, letting her get it out.

“I don't know how to live like this,” she said softly into his shoulder.

He gently pushed her shoulders and his expression softened. “Darlin', you gotta give it time. I know this is hard, I know you're still adapting. But trust me, you, more than anyone else I've ever known, are built for this, sad as that might sound,” he replied.

Her heart was breaking again. Everything in her being wished that she could give this man the love he so deeply deserved. The love that would cherish the kindness that this horrific world hadn't taken from his soul. She would give anything to be what he needed. The pain was almost unbreable. She reached up and caressed his face and felt him tremble, his head leaning into her palm. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with all this death and responsibility. I…”

Jake cut her off with his lips. It was so sudden and so unexpected she had no reaction at first. His kiss was soft, gentle. She swooned and were it not for his arms already holding fast to her body she may have floated away. She closed her eyes and kissed him back, their lips sliding together, tongues intertwining.

It hit her like relief. Like heat after weeks of cold. Like forgetting, for one dangerous second, that the world was full of blood and grief and responsibility. And the relief scared the shit out of her.

“Tess,” he said, his voice low and rough. Then, clearing his throat like he was trying to drag himself back to being a decent man, he said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” And he pulled away.

She stood in stunned silence, her body still humming, her mind racing to catch up. He was looking at the floor.

“Jake.” She lifted his face. “Jake, I’m not sorry.”

Before she could say anything else, Jake said, “I took advantage. It’s not right. I don’t have the right to—”

“Stop.” Her voice came out sharper than she intended. She gentled it, keeping her hands on his face—not pulling him in, just holding him there. Anchoring him. Anchoring herself.

“You didn’t take advantage,” she said quietly. “But you can’t do that when I’m like this. Not when I’m… breaking.” She swallowed hard. “And I can’t use you like that, either. Not as a way to forget what I just did.”

Jake’s eyes flickered shut for a moment, like it physically hurt him to stop. When he opened them again, his gaze was steady—wounded, but steady. “Okay,” he said, voice tight. “Okay, darlin’. I hear you.”

Mama’s words surfaced again, familiar and steady.

You were meant to find each other. For whatever purpose that holds.

Tess didn’t doubt the Sight—she doubted what she was supposed to do with it. Mama said that… and Mama was rarely wrong. Hell, as far as she could tell, she was never wrong. That was the problem. But it was the second part that had her thinking the most. “For whatever purpose…” And in that moment, she was still completely unsure what that purpose was or how she was going to untangle this knotted ball of yarn that was her relationship with Jake.

She only hoped that what just happened hadn't destroyed it completely.

Chapter Text

As Jake and Tess arranged a couple of mattresses they found inside the facility against a wall, Tess was acutely aware of the change between them. It was painful and saddened her. Jake was quiet. He wasn’t moody or angry, just… quiet. After they covered the filthy mattresses with their own bedding, she pulled out her favorite – MREs! When the silence between them became deafening she finally spoke.

“Jake,” she looked over at him. He was a mask of restraint and sadness. It was destroying her. “Please, I don’t want this to be a wedge between us. And if we’re going to be honest, then I need to be the first to apologize.”

Jake’s face contorted into confusion. “For what?” he asked, obviously oblivious to what she was about to say.

“I used you, Jake.” She let that sink in, and it felt cruel. “Maybe not consciously, but I did all the same. I was out of my mind with fear and grief when we met. Your kindness was like a life raft. You pulled me through the impossible and I grasped it like it was air. And then I just let it continue. I am so, so sorry.” She could feel tears brewing. This was more painful than her original “talk” she had planned. And more awful since the "talk" had been happily avoided by Jake making the decision himself. But then, she just had to break down again and give him the wrong signals.

Jake was quiet for a while and she felt as though her heart would stop beating. He lowered his gaze to nowhere in particular on the floor. “Jake, look at me please. I'm struggling here.”

He finally did and she saw him swallow, hard. “I understand,” he finally said.

Now she was feeling agitated. This was all wrong. She scooted closer to him. “No, I don’t think you do,” she continued. “But I want you to.” There was a long pause. “Jake, I know you have feelings for me. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have feelings for you. But I can’t match what you are feeling for me. I am nowhere near that place. Please believe me when I say I would never intentionally set out to hurt you. You mean the world to me, you are the reason I’m still breathing right now.”

He looked at her again, this time a faint, sad smile appeared. “But you can’t love me.”

There it was. It was finally out. Drawn like a stubborn splinter that refuses its release from flesh.

“Not the kind of love you deserve, Jake. Not now, anyway. I can't even properly put into words how bad I feel about this, knowing that this is all my fault. I latched on to you and never let go, when I should have been learning to stand on my own two feet in this new reality. It was unfair of me to do that." She still felt like her words were inadequate, failing her in this important moment.

She grabbed his face in one hand, forcing him to face her. "Jake, I'm still in love with Nate. And as cruel as that is to shove in your face, it's a fact. Which makes this entire situation all the more tragic. Probably for both of us. If, or when, I'm ever ready to love again, then we can have a completely different conversation. But Jake, I am not capable of loving more than one man at a time." There. She said it. The words finally came out. But fuck did they hurt. She winced internally, knowing how much more painful they must be to Jake.

That's when she broke. She could no longer hold it back. She wept. Deeply and painfully, sobbing out her next words. "I will forever mourn what I’ve done to you. Can you ever forgive me?” She mewled, feeling as though she had been laid bare and horsewhipped.

Jake’s face softened and he tentatively reached for Tess’s hand. She allowed it. “I’m sorry, too, Tess,” he said, his eyes glassy. “I don’t want anything to ruin our relationship, our friendship, either.”

“Good.” she said emphatically. “But knowing how you feel, knowing that I’m a fucking mess, I don’t know how we should handle this. I’m open to suggestion.”

Jake was absently rubbing the back of Tess’s hand with his thumb, his eyes downcast again, deep in thought. “I don’t know,” he said quietly. “I guess we just keep goin’. Keep workin’ on our goals. I’d hate to lose that part of our partnership.”

She should have felt relieved, but her heart was aching so badly she wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep breathing. This was exactly what she had feared. Breaking this man’s heart. Fuck. Why did she do this to him? She felt like a fucking monster.

“I don’t want us to stop being partners either,” she said. “But Jake, I can’t live a lie anymore. And using you like that, giving you false hope that is nowhere near ready to happen is just wrong. I’m not saying that it can’t happen one day – and let me assure you, you are number one on the list should I ever be ready for that – but right now? I’m not even happy with myself, let alone ready to be good for anyone else.”

Jake nodded, pain evident in his face. “I’m glad you told me. And, if I’m bein’ honest, I took that room for the same reason. I didn’t wanna be a burden on you. You have so much goin’ on right now, and I didn’t wanna add to any of it.” Then he suddenly smirked at her, that playful look she knew so well shining through. “But seriously, woman. Have you looked in a mirror lately? Can ya blame a guy?”

She started laughing. He certainly still had his humor. “I could say the same to you, Mr. Evans.” She sniffled, looking at him seriously. "You take my breath."

He blushed and for a moment, it was like the old Tess and Jake. But the sadness still clung in the air like bad cigar smoke.

“Jake, I still adore you. Please know that. I will forever be in your debt for carrying me through the worst nightmare any person should ever have to experience. I still value you, I still need you as my partner, and I still want to see our goals come to fruition. I just can’t give you that one thing you want from me.”

He was quiet again, apparently deep in thought. Then he squeezed her hand and nodded. “Let’s get some rest. Big day tomorrow.”

She sighed and nodded. “You’re right, it is a big day. We got the damn Comm Hub!”

The next morning Tess contacted Codsworth to have him send the men with the wagon. She and Jake ate then started packing up. They went outside the building for some fresh air while they waited. She wanted to be sure that they were still okay. Could still talk. They were already so close. After a few minutes of silence outside, she asked Jake to come sit with her.

“Jake, tell me about Sanford, about the old Texas that you lived in. If that’s all right.”

Jake smiled and nodded. “Sure,” he started, filling her in on the town and then shared the story of his dad, a hero who sacrificed himself to save everyone when their small power reactor melted down, which both shocked and saddened her.

“Oh, Jake, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you about your home.” She was panicked now. Her attempts at lightening the mood turned into another horrifying story that only this world could provide.

“It’s all right, darlin’, it was a long time ago.”

But it didn’t feel all right. Jesus, she really knew how to fuck things up worse than they already were. Before she could speak further, they heard the sound of people coming up the road. They both instinctively pulled their weapons and hunkered behind the building – then chuckled as they saw Preston and Sturges arriving with Buttercup.

Now the real work began – dragging up the parts from the crate. Once they finally had it all hauled up and the wagon loaded, they made the trip back to Sanctuary. It was late afternoon when they arrived back in town. Before they were about to turn down the path of the small bridge to the Vault, Tess stopped them. 

“Jake, I have an idea.”

“What’s that, darlin’?”

A seering dart blazed through her heart hearing him still refer to her as darlin’. Fuck, this was going to take time to sort out. But for now, they needed to keep moving forward and she hoped her idea would make Jake happy. “Come with me.”

He followed her out of everyone’s earshot. “I think you should put the Comm Hub in the bunker. And we should get your radio from the hardware store. That way you’ll have privacy when you try to contact Laura.”

His smile was a relief to see, especially since it went all the way up to his eyes. He pulled her into a tight hug and whispered into her ear, “Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me.”

“Sorry, guys,” Preston said, walking toward them. “What’s the plan here?”

They both smiled at him. “We’re going to be moving this into the bunker, Preston. It’s going to need a lot of power and I don’t want to stress the old transformer in the vault,” she stated with a straight face.

“All right, sounds like a plan,” Preston agreed.

“In the meantime,” Jake began, “This little lady needs some medical attention.”

Preston’s eyes grew larger. “What happened?”

Tess showed him and he winced. “Yeah, those mutts are a nuisance," he said gravely. “I assume you’ve already stimmed that?”

“Yep,” Jake replied. “But we need to change the bandages.”

Tess smiled as Jake cleaned and bandaged her arm in the bunker. This was the part of the relationship she didn’t want to lose. The caring for each other part. Once Jake was done, they joined Preston and Sturges outside at the wagon.

Once the the parts and the haul of goods from their trip was stashed away, they all headed back to the Vault. Mama Murphy and Marcy were already rustling up some supper when they arrived in the cafeteria. Tess had been noticing the changes in Marcy – it was damn near miraculous compared to just a few weeks ago. Her face no longer scowled. She was talkative and attentive to Jun, who also looked better. They were still in pain, but they were learning to move on. It made Tess realize that maybe she could as well, at some point anyway.

At dinner, Jake was fielding questions about the Comm Hub. Everyone was very curious about it all. Then Tess regaled them with their harrowing experience with the raiders and the dog that had tried to take her arm. It felt like someone else’s story as she told it. Her family always made mealtime so enjoyable. But her arm was starting to throb again. She tried her best to keep cheerful as she watched Codsworth, who had taken a break from his guard post, come and clean up after dinner.

Jake looked at her with concern, her face apparently giving away her discomfort. He walked Tess to her room. “I’d rest a lot easier if I made sure you took your meds,” he said as she opened her door.

She scoffed at him playfully. “What, you don’t trust me? Doctor?”

Jake chuckled softly. “Just, let me do this before you turn in.”

“Fine, worry wart,” she relented, moving to her bed. They sat together as Tess opened a med kit, extracting a stimpak and some Med-X. “Do I get a lollipop after?”

Jake actually laughed. “Fresh out, I’m afraid. How about just some good rest and healing?”

“Party pooper,” she complained.

After making sure she was taken care of, Jake, looking a bit forlorn, left Tess alone. She let out a sigh, still feeling like a grade A asshole for everything. But after a few minutes the Med-X started kicking in and she didn’t even remember falling asleep.

When Tess woke up, she noticed her Pip-boy was on the nightstand. She frowned, trying to remember taking it off. Then she noticed a note next to it.

Tess, look at the Pip-boy. 

She grinned and picked it up. Jake had fixed the bottom bar which displayed the date and time. It was 9:15. She shook her head happily. She also realized that her arm felt much better. It was still sore, but the throbbing had dissipated. It was only tender to the touch. Then it came to her... Jake had taken it off her when he gave her the meds, wanting to check her bandage one more time. Even after she broke the man’s heart he was still doing little things that meant the world to her. She threw her head back into her pillow with a groan.

Once she finally dragged herself out of bed, she grimaced, realizing her clothes were filthy. It was time for a change, but first, a shower – her first shower in the vault. It was just as good as the bunker and the water hadn’t hurt the bite as much as she was afraid it would. She did her best to re-bandage her arm, then put on some fresh clothes. She was hungry and decided to head down to the cafeteria to see if there was anything to eat – another MRE was strictly out of the question.

Apparently there had been quite a bit of canned and dry goods left in the vault. Marcy and Mama had found some powdered egg mix and, although Tess intuitively knew that it was night a day from real eggs, it was the most delicious thing she had tasted since waking up in the vault.

When she was done eating, she decided to see how the Comm Hub construction was going. It was a given that Jake would be working on it. When she entered the bunker, Jake was elbow deep inside what was now a constructed shell of the device. He was muttering to himself, tools of assorted uses and sizes littering the floor around him. She watched him for a few moments. He was obviously in his own little world. She cleared her throat.

“Oh, hey.”

“Good morning.”

He looked at her wrist and smiled. “Working all right?”

“Yes, thank you, you sneaky shit.”

Jake chuckled. “I figured since it was already off, might as well. You were sleeping soundly and I didn’t wanna wake you.”

Tess smiled then walked over to look at the contraption. “So does it have everything it needs?”

“Well, not really,” Jake replied, with a half-hearted chuckle. “I’m gonna need to find some replacement tubes and a couple other items to get it fired up. Then try and figure out how it actually works. It’s a big project.”

Tess nodded. “Anything I can do to help?”

Jake stood, hands on hips. “I’m not sure yet, but I appreciate you askin’.” He looked back at the hub and sighed. “Preston and Sturges volunteered to go to Concord for me, grab the radio equipment and anything else that we might be able to use. It’s gonna take some serious scavvin’ to find the parts we need, not gonna lie.”

Tess frowned in thought. “Are the parts only available by finding them? What about Diamond City? You said it’s a large settlement with merchants, right?”

Jake nodded. “That it is, but unless someone else scavved the parts and sold them there, it’s a slim chance. Some of the stuff I’d need would only be recognized by other people with this skillset. Not sure if it’d be a better chance there or just goin’ to some old electronics stores and takin’ my chances. I’ll have a better idea of what’s needed once I get it put together as much as possible.”

“Well, you did promise me a trip there, right?”

Jake snickered and wiped his brow on his sleeve. “That I did, darlin’, but as you remember, I told you it’s quite a trek there. I’d like to try and find some of the things we need closer to home first before travelin’ that far. Let’s play it by ear, okay?”

“Sounds like a plan,” she answered. “And speaking of plans... I need to talk to Preston. It’s time we started planning out our settlement visits.”

Jake looked alarmed. “So you’re ready to get started?”

“Jake, I have to be. I can’t put things off any longer. It’s time for me to put on my big girl pants now.”

Jake stared at Tess for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, I s’pose you’re right. Just… be careful out there, okay? General?” he added with a grin.

Tess rolled her eyes. “Hardly,” she smirked. She studied his face for a moment, hoping that they really were okay now. She smiled at him and turned to leave.

“Tess,” Jake said, “Thanks again for… well for all of this,” he motioned around the space.

“We both have children to find, Jake. If I can help you find Laura, then of course I’ll do it. I know you’d do the same. I promise to let you know if or when I’m heading out.”

He beamed a smile at her.

Once outside, Tess took in a deep breath, the cool air invigorating her. Sanctuary was again an abandoned ghost town. But that was going to change. A lot of things were going to change.

Chapter Text

As Tess made her way to the vault break room, the former first level “kitchen” – a room she would never forget, no matter how cleaned up the vault was now – she felt a new determination. A sense that she actually was ready for what lie ahead. Scared? Yeah, still scared. But now that she’d been “field tested,” her confidence was boosted. And that was enough to get started with. It was time to build the Minutemen and start filling the ranks. There was a lot to do, but she liked being busy.

When she arrived, Preston was already there. He had a map laid out in front of him. “Morning, General,” he said with a playful smile.

Tess fought the urge to roll her eyes and decided to just go with it. “Morning, Preston. Or do you have a rank I should address you with?”

He snickered. “I’ll leave that to you.”

She took a seat next to him, the old aluminum picnic table creaking as she settled in next to Preston. “So, what are we looking at?”

He pointed to a spot to the east of Sanctuary and a bit north. “This,” he said, “is Tenpines Bluff. Remember the settlement I told you about with the raider problem?” She nodded. “This is them. I’d really like to get out there before that gang comes back and harms those people.”

Tess nodded, chewing her lip. “Okay, let’s pull the trigger.”

Preston beamed at her. “I was hoping you’d be ready.” His expression turned serious. “How do you wanna play this? Just us? Anyone you want to bring with us?”

She thought for a moment. “Do you think the two of us could handle it?”

Preston nodded. “It’s never easy to predict, but if we play it smart, prepare – and that means having you as the main weapon – then I’d say our chances are good.”

“I’d like to bring Dogmeat,” she said. “He’s been a literal life saver and maybe it would be an element they won’t expect. I just hope I’m not sending him to his doom.”

“That’s actually a great idea. He’s a smart dog, and dogs have senses we don’t. Could actually be a great asset.” He paused, folding up the map. “Tomorrow, first light?”

“Sounds like a plan. Colonel.” She smirked at Preston.

He laughed. “I can live with that.”

Jake was trying to figure out all the parts that were missing or needed replacing. Sturges was sitting next to him. They had been discussing options, possible solutions, going over the wiring and working together to see how to best get the thing working.

“Sorry, Jake, but there’s no gettin’ around it. We gotta do a run for these parts.”

Jake sighed, running a hand up the back of his neck and over his hair. “Yeah, that was pretty much a given. I got a couple places in mind.” Jake was lost in throught for a moment.

“But here's the thing, Jake; until the rest of us get that trainin’ from Tess, I’m afraid I’m not much use, far as defense. Maybe we should ask Tess to come with us?”

Jake internally froze before speaking. “Yeah, I think she’s about to do a Minuteman run with Preston.”

Sturges looked surprised. “Really. Huh. I mean, that’s good, it’s part of all the plans, but to be honest, I wasn’t sure she was gonna be ready so soon.” He looked at Jake for a moment. “You good with that?”

Jake turned and looked at him, his face burning. “She’s a big girl, Sturges,” was all he said.

Sturges studied him for a moment. “You okay man?”

Jake sighed, he really didn’t want to have this conversation, but he supposed he wasn’t exactly acting like his usual self. And Sturges was very perceptive, he had learned. Still, Tess or no, he was glad for the company, a kindred spirit in the world of scavved together tech. “Yeah, sorry, just… this machine is gonna be the death of me.”

Sturges clapped him on the back. “Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out. Besides, you told me you’ve been scavvin all over the Wealth alone, I can’t see it bein’ any more dangerous with both of us together.”

Jake looked at Sturges. He had a point. He’d managed to move all around with little trouble. Sure, there were some close calls. Especially with ferals. But for the most part, Jake’s luck had held. And having Sturges along would make the scavvin’ that much easier. “You’d really wanna come along?” he asked.

“Well, sure bud. Strength in numbers.”

Jake thought for a minute. “I know you say you can’t shoot, but I’m still gonna ask Tess for a weapon for you. Push comes to fight, at least you’ll be armed. You can get better when she starts training. Sound good?”

Sturges grinned at him. “I think I can handle that.”

Just then they heard the bunker doors. It was Tess.

Sturges chuckled. “Well, speak of the devil.”

Tess frowned, then grinned. “Oh?”

Jake stood and wiped his hands on a rag. “Yeah, Sturges and I are planning a scav run for parts and I was wondering,” he began, hoping she would agree, “Think you could give him a gun? I know you haven’t set up training yet, but I’d feel a whole hell of a lot better if the man was at least armed.”

Tess smiled. “Of course, I mean, the basics are easy enough. I can at least show him that.”

“Thanks, Tess, really appreciate that.”

It only took about twenty minutes to get Sturges familiar with the basics. She showed him how to hold the 9mm she picked out for him – safety on and off, how to load, how to breathe. Experience was all that he would need, and that was the hardest lesson. At least the man could protect himself, as long as he remembered what he learned and didn't panic. But Sturges was cool as a cucumber and she had a feeling he'd have no trouble. She didn’t have him practice with live rounds as they wanted to prevent the sound from attracting unwanted attention, and further, she realized she needed to conserve ammo now. No more gun stores for a quick restock.

“You’re a natural, Sturges,” she encouraged. But he really was. And with his height and unique look, she was sure he’d give an opponent that split second distraction to use to his advantage. Hell, she was 5’10” – tall for a female – and he towered over her. She only hoped he wouldn’t have to use it. Part of her wished she could go with them, protect them, but all of this was part of the group’s goals and plans for moving forward. She had to let go.

“Thanks, Tess, I appreciate it.”

Tess nodded, looking at them both. “Just, promise to be careful out there. I’d hate to have to go on a killing spree because one of you got hurt.”

Jake snickered. “I promise we’ll be safe.”

Tess wanted to believe that. But in this world? There were no promises like that to be made. They all knew the risks. Hell, she was about to venture off into her own unknown danger. It was making her head spin now that she thought about it. But Jake had managed to come all the way to Massachusetts from Texas on his own. That, alone, was miraculous. So it gave her a bit of comfort that he would be okay, and keep this other handsome lug safe as well.

“Oh, and while you two are off on your little shopping spree, Preston and I are going to help that settlement tomorrow.”

Jake visibly stiffened, but he said nothing.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m taking the mutt with us,” she said with a chuckle.

“Actually,” Jake said, “it does. That damn dog is a hero in my book.”

“Right, well, you two take care of each other, okay?”

Sturges looked at Tess. “Thanks again, sunshine, appreciate the lesson.”

“Yeah, well I hope when I get back you tell me you never had to use the thing.”

Jake walked with Tess a bit. “Thanks for doing that. I know I’m gonna feel a whole lot better knowing he’s armed. But don’t worry. I know the lay of the land, where we’re goin’. It should be an easy run.”

She could see in his eyes that he knew there were no guarantees. And they both shared an unspoken ‘be careful, come back safe’ look with each other. They really did have such a great bond. She nodded. “See you when I get back?”

“See you.”

She stood there for another second then left.

The late afternoon was quickly darkening as the sky shifted in colors of gold and indigo and faint stars were beginning to come into focus. Tess and Preston were about half way to Tenpines when Preston, who had been quiet for the past half hour, stopped. “I think we should make camp for the night.”

Tess nodded. She was still nervous about this entire endeavor. Talking about it, knowing about it – that was all well and good. But now they were actually doing it. What they would face was still anyone’s guess, but deep in her core, she knew it was going to be bloody. Part of her was afraid. She had to admit that. But another part – the part that had come to view these people as her family – was determined to see this through. She had made a promise. A promise to help protect innocent people. And with that promise came risks. But for now, she was just ready to unwind and sleep, if it would come for her.

Preston laid his gear down and started building a fire. At first she was worried that a fire might attract unwanted attention, but during their trek they had only run into a handful of molerats and one vicious dog. She’d had enough of them already at this point, but Dogmeat, true to his heroic nature, had gotten the jump on it before it could close in on them.

The air was getting quite chilly now and she realized a fire would be most welcome. There was a slight breeze blowing as she laid down her gear and it whipped the flames of the fire about, making it look like it was alive and dancing. She sat on the opposite side from Preston and watched the man as he sat silently, a pensive look on his face. Dogmeat came and laid next to her, his soulful brown eyes looking up at her.

“Preston?” she began, “You’ve been awful quiet. Is everything okay?”

Preston lifted his face to her, golden light dancing in his eyes. He smiled and nodded. “Yeah, sorry. I guess… I mean, it’s strange to be away from the gang.”

She grinned. So that was it. Even though he no longer had to patrol around Sanctuary, he was still overly protective – his constant ON button. He had taken this mission with her on the back of feeling as though he were abandoning his post, as it were. “Preston, they're in the vault. There are turrets, and hey, if you can't feel totally safe with Codsworth on guard, then we may as well give up right now."

Preston actually laughed at that, his shoulders loosening visibly. But she had to admit, she felt strange being away from them as well. After all, other than the field trip to the Abernathys, this was her first foray into the inevitable future of building settlements, building the Minutemen. The weight of it apparently sitting heavily on both of them.

“You’re right," Preston said, "But still, it’s just hard to believe it’s finally happening. I mean, we’re taking the first step in rebuilding. And I’m not naive enough to believe it’s going to be a cake walk.” He was quiet for a few more moments. “But General,” he paused, apparently still not sure if she liked her new title.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like it, per se, it was just she felt she didn’t deserve it. At least not yet. “Preston…”

He held up a hand. “I know, I know. But that’s who you are, even if you don’t think so,” he said. “Listen, all I was going to say was, I’m proud of you. I admire you. I seriously doubt I could have dealt with everything you’ve dealt with and still be standing. That’s why I know, without a doubt, that you are the right person for this. Even if you don’t.”

Tess looked down at her hands, feeling suddenly uncomfortable with praise. Sure, she was a good organizer. She was a good fighter, a crack shot. Lots of bullet points for an impressive resume. But to be looked upon to lead, to literally fight for a better world… well, that was so monumental as to give her great pause regarding her actual abilities. “Thanks,” she spoke softly. “I guess I’m just worried that when push comes to shove, I’ll crumble.”

Preston chuckled and got up to come sit beside her. He took her hand. “Tess, everyone feels that way. It’s what makes us human. You, more than most, know how people work. You’ve got experience from two completely different worlds. In my book, that puts you rungs higher on the ladder. All you gotta do is believe in yourself as much as the rest of us do. Okay?” He gave her hand a squeeze then got up to grab his pack, fishing through it and pulling out some radstag meat they had wrapped up from their earlier hunt.

Tess sighed. “I hear what you’re saying, Preston. I do. I’ve been second-guessing myself. Trying to understand my place in this world, trying to understand myself and how I’ve handled...” She didn’t want to think about Olivia. Didn’t want to remember how she had fallen right into the rhythm of taking down the raiders. Enjoying herself. It made her flesh prickle with self-doubt and disgust. “I guess what I’m saying is, I don’t want to lose myself.”

Preston had set up a stand over the fire, placing the meat on skewers. The juice was sizzling into the flames, smoke billowing with each drop, like signals to some ancient god of the hunt. He came back to sit with her. “When I first joined up with the Minutemen,” he began, letting out a deep sigh, “I was just a kid. A 17 year old with stars in his eyes.” He paused, tossing a piece of wood into the fire. “Colonel Hollis took me under his wing and I flourished. Being part of the organization was like a dream to me. I knew then that being a Minuteman was my calling. It was what I was meant to do.”

Tess realized she had never really asked Preston about his history with the Minutemen. She really didn’t know much about them other than what Preston had told her back in Sanctuary. Preston returned his eyes to the blaze before them, his expression placid. She envied him in that moment. Envied that he had known what he believed in and had been able to realize his place within that ideology. She felt like a fish out of water, gasping for air in a foreign world with no idea how to get back to the life-giving waters she had always known.

“What I’m saying, General,” and this time he emphasized the word, looking at her with a glint of humor. “Not everyone knows exactly what their calling is. Sometimes it just gets thrust upon us. Sometimes it’s a fit, sometimes it’s not. But it’s the trying that counts. Trying your best is more than anyone can ask. So please, don’t look at the burden, just be yourself. That’s who we need.”

She turned to look at him. He had really cut to the core of it all in so few words. She wanted so much to help, to protect. Wanted to be the best version of what these people needed that she had forgotten a simple truth: trying to be someone else would always result in failure. She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Thanks, Preston. That actually helps.”

Her second in command smiled and patted her hand. “Now, come on. We need some grub.” He rose and started pulling the meat from the fire as Tess grabbed some plates.

They ate together in companionable silence, with Dogmeat happily enjoying his share of the spoils. The future, still uncertain and definitely frightening, seemed to have had one of its sharp edges removed. The slightest decrease in weight. Preston was right. All she needed to do was be herself. And although that was of some comfort, she still had the nagging fear of who “herself” was becoming in this new existence.