Chapter Text
They're cruise people. That's.. fine..? They're just like.. that.
Cruise people aren't bad, they're just people on cruises.
On a cruise. With each other. By themselves, with each other. Without their son.
Naturally, Lewis understands that couples need their couple time. He understands how being parents can make it harder to get that. He understands that it's nice, going away with your spouse, not having to care for your children. It's not even the first time they've done this. They once spent a week on a cruise traveling down the coast and had his grandparents watch him.
He had plenty of fun with his grandparents and when his parents got back they were happier. So he wasn't upset.
The problem now isn't the fact that they've decided to go on another cruise, nor is it that this time they’ll be gone for triple the time. A luxury three week cruise along the coast of east Asia where they’ll tour all the tourist traps, eat all the overpriced food and complain about all the spice and seafood.
The problem isn't that they completely neglected to inform Lewis until a week and a half before they were supposed to leave, not even having a full conversation with him, just asking if he could drive them to Cruise Port™ bright and early on a Friday morning in January. The problem was, a little bit, that he had to force the rest of the details out from his parents, but eh, lack of communication is kind of their thing.
The Problem™ was in reality two medium problems that come together to make one big, horrible, problem. Problem one: Jonas, Sydney, Sue, and even Mitch had known before he did. Problem two: Lewis’s parents wanted him to stay at the Wagners while they were gone.
They wanted their (legally adult) son to stay at a friend's house while they went off for three weeks when he was fully capable of taking care of himself.
That sprouted an entirely new argument on how age didn't define someone's capability to care for themselves, how Lewis had already been taking care of himself when they went out since he was 12, (“I won't pay for someone to watch my son play videogames and eat pizza all night”, said Mr. Halls after a short argument, years ago on whether if they should continue to employ their regular babysitter after she raised her rates again) and how three whole weeks was much different than a couple hours every few weeks.
There was also the secret third problem; who would be taking care of Sandy? The obvious answer would be Lewis. It obviously should be Lewis, she was basically his dog. But noooo, they wanted her to stay at a daycare. An expensive daycare. Where they would do literally the same thing Lewis would.
Back to problem two. If you recall, Lewis’s (18) Mother (47) and Father (49) wanted Lewis, 18, to stay at Jonas’s (18, a.k.a. an adult) house while his parents (fully grown adults who should understand that their son, their grown eighteen year old son, is more than capable of taking care of himself and his precious Sandy for twenty-one days without mass casualty) go on a fun relaxing cruise.
-
“It’s no big deal, you stay over like, all the time.” Jonas said, sitting up against his headboard watching as Lewis slid quite impressively off his bed, forgotten comic laid on his lap.
“That was different! I was a willing participant! My consent is withdrawn!” Lewis half yelled, half whined, now almost completely on the floor. Arms sprawled, one leg resting, nearly falling off the bed, the other straight out, making him look like a starfish calmly drifting along the sea floor, quite the contrast to his current emotional state.
Lewis huffed out a breath catching Jonas’s eyes roll.
“It's not that big of a deal, you're here all the time anyway, all the kids know you, you've given most of them rides, and you ‘accidently’ call Sue ‘Mom’ like, once a week.” Jonas laughed his way out of that sentence and Lewis sticks his tongue out at him. Still, a blush creeps up his neck.
Jonas remembers the comic in his lap and they slip into a comfortable silence.
“But isn't one of the kids like really allergic to dogs?”
“Yea, Ilā, she got transferred to some foster-to-adopt couple like a week ago.”
“...would that dog kid be chill?”
Jonas shot him a glare, “That dog kid has a name, Lewis.”
“Yeah but they always look at me weird when I call them Sammy”
“Probably ‘cause you talk to them like a dog” Jonas mutters, not quiet enough to go undetected by Lewis.
“I do not!” He shoots up, crossing his legs, “How else are you supposed to get a kid to stop gnawing on your hand?!” He holds his hand up like proof, but no bite marks are found.
After sending Lewis an “are you mentally sane right now?” look, Jonas mocked “You ask them to stop.”
Lewis dramatically flops back to a starfish.
After a less comfortable silence, Lewis tries again “Would Sammy be cool being around Sandy?”
Jonas scoffs, “Yeah.”
“And are we like, sure of this or is it a running theory?” Lewis props himself up on an elbow and gives Jonas a look of genuine concern for his fat-ass goldendoodle.
Jonas sighed and- surprise, surprise- rolled his eyes “We are sure, Lewis.”
“.. right and is there proof of this orrr..?”
Jonas decides attempting to read is hopeless, throws the comic on his bedside table, runs his hands through his hair, and scoots to the edge of the bed to face Lewis a little better.
“Lewis.”
“Jonas.”
“I wouldn't let you bring Sandy here if the kids would hurt her, or if they would do something to make Sandy hurt them.”
“Right, and like I've never seen any of them interact with anything bigger than a squirrel so I have concerns."
“They have though?” Jonas gestures semi-wildly. “I told you this already??”
Lewis lifts his head briefly and lets it fall back down, “Nuh uh”
“Lewis.”
“Hmm?”
“What‘d I do last weekend.”
“Uhh I dunno-” Lewis flopped down again- “probably suck Mitch’s dick.”
“I literally told you what I did.”
“And I totally remember but you should tell me again.”
Lewis gets a pillow thrown at his face.
“Sid and I took the kids ice skating. Mitch met us there and like, invited the kids to see Cliffs’ cow and they went crazy for that so we walked over and met his cow and chickens and dogs. I'm pretty sure Cliff hated it.”
“Ugh you made them all shower after that right?”
“Cliff keeps his animals healthy and clean, dude.”
“Yeah right, I’ve seen the guy, no way that's true.”