Chapter Text
They are frustrated, both standing in opposite corners of the room.
Their relationship is currently at its most critical point since they started dating. Like any couple, they've had their share of conflicts, but they've never been like this before; they've even considered breaking up.
Not for lack of love.
Quite the opposite, it's because they love each other that they're thinking about breaking up.
"Jo, you can't be serious. Break up? Is this your solution? I told you I'm willing to try for you." Yuma felt those words were unreal; he'd never heard them come from his boyfriend's mouth before.
"That's precisely the problem, Yuma. It's not about doing it to please me. Adopting and becoming parents isn't a whim you want to indulge; it's a dream, and for this to work, the dream has to be shared by both of us."
Jo cries. He's the kind of person who cries when he's angry or fights. His throat tightens, and he struggles with all his might to make his words as clear as possible.
"But it's something I want to do. You've made so many sacrifices for me."
"But being parents shouldn't be seen as a sacrifice. And if I made sacrifices, it was because you were there supporting me, because you wanted it too. But you don't want this."
"What are you talking about?" Yuma didn't understand Jo's words. Even though they were both shouting in the room, it seemed the louder they shouted, the less they could be heard.
For the first time that afternoon, Jo looked him in the eyes. Yuma's eyes were also bloodshot; he too had been crying, even though he was pretending not to with his voice.
"If I ran away from my homophobic parents' house, it was because you were there supporting me..." Yuma waited silently, giving Jo the signal to continue.
"If I managed to finish my studies while working to survive, it was because you supported me. If I managed to come out to my friends, it was because you were there." And I'll be forever grateful to you for being there because I know that even though I was a burden to you sometimes, your love for me has always been sincere, and I know you were there for me because you wanted to be, too, but...
"But?" Yuma urged him to continue.
"But this time I can't ask you to stay and support me when you don't want to."
"Let me be the one to decide that." Yuma tried to sound firm and hopeful, but Jo was realistic. For the first time that day, Yuma moved closer until they were just inches apart and placed his left hand on his face. Jo simply felt the contact and tilted his head so as not to lose it. And in a whisper, Jo said what had tormented him for so many weeks.
"I don't want my dream to hold you back from yours, because if that were to happen, this wouldn't be love anymore, it would be selfishness."
"Oh, my sweet Jo."
Although Yuma had tried all these days to be strong and a little hostile, the truth was that he would give his life for his boyfriend. He quickly slid his hand down his cheek and around his neck, pulling him close for a kiss.
A salty kiss, flecked with tears, where they couldn't tell who was who. His lips felt heavier and heavier, their movements slow and delicate, as if the other's lips were fragile crystals.
"I need you to understand that you are my greatest dream. I would even kill you if I found out you had started a family with someone other than me. And then I would kill myself because I couldn't bear to lose you."
At this confession, Jo froze in Yuma's arms. Yuma had always loved Jo with a certain devotion, and although Jo loved him with the same intensity, sometimes Yuma's declarations were so shocking that Jo didn't know whether to melt with love or remain on guard.
Yuma felt his boyfriend's body temperature drop to cold in his arms, sensing that he was in shock. "Come on, relax, it's a joke... Or not, if you don't want to."
Jo didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
"Let's go to the orphanage together and see how things go."
Jo wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist, and together they threw themselves onto the bed, Yuma trapped between the mattress and the taller man's body.
Quickly, Jo captured his boyfriend's lips and kissed him in a kiss different from the last, more sentimental but with more desire.
For a couple who had been together for six years, sex no longer held the same meaning as in the early years; the frequency decreased somewhat, but the caresses and affection intensified.
But the sex they're having now is similar to their first times: full of desire and confusion, caresses are replaced by rough movements that convey desperation and the fear that it will all end. It's not make-up sex, nor is it a truce; it's as if they're fighting with their bodies, and it shows in the way bruises, bites, and scratches begin to appear on both of their bodies.
As dawn approaches, they are both drowsy, trying to regulate their breathing and fall asleep, preparing for tomorrow.
After hours, Yuma is the one who speaks the first words: "You suggest we break up again, and I'm going to break you—your bones."
Jo, who was exhausted from both the fight and what they had done, simply hugged Yuma, spooning him, and replied: "Break me all you want, except my heart."
Yuma simply smiled, pressed his body closer to Jo's chest, and surrendered to sleep.
It is clear that tonight did not signify the end of their conflict, but both are hopeful that it is the first step towards entering a new stage in their lives.