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Tick, Tock, the grandfather clock reverberates throughout the room. Diana takes in a deep breath as she gathers her thoughts. Her head lurches forward and she hacks up the heap of dust she had just inhaled.
After a moment’s pause, professor Finnelan stands up to open the windows, as her hacking continues. The latches of the ornately carved windows behind the student counsellor’s desk snap open, allowing some fresh air to rush in and cut through the scent of the musty wooden furniture.
Diana’s coughing eventually dies down. Hannah and Barbara exchange an awkward glance as their teammate struggles to recover her composure, and professor Finnelan returns to her seat. The faint sound of distant songbirds, and the occasional bellow of professor Nelson instructing her students, fill the office as Diana finishes clearing her throat.
“Am I to understand,” asks Diana, “that certain other students have struggled to follow the simple procedure for correctly returning books to the library?”
Professor Finnelan nods. “That is correct. It would be of great assistance if you three young ladies would re-organise the library.”
“We can handle that!” declares Hannah.
“I bet we can do it in a single afternoon!” adds Barbara.
“Yes,” Diana flicks her hair. “It should be no problem for the top three students of Luna Nova.”
The three young witches stand expectantly, waiting for the teacher’s praise. Instead they hear the sound of professor Finnelan clearing her throat and shifting uncomfortably in her chair.
It takes professor Nelson’s distant shouting to break through the silence before professor Finnelan speaks again.
“That…” the teacher speaks slowly, choosing her words carefully, “is not exactly the case anymore.”
The large clock chimes once to mark the hour.
“Wh-what?” asks Barbara.
“We’re not in the top position anymore?” asks Hannah, the girls practically falling over themselves.
“That is correct,” answers Finnelan.
Diana clears her throat before speaking. “Would you be able to elaborate further on that, Professor Finnelan?”
Professor Finnelan considers this for a moment. “You are still rank 1, Miss Cavendish,”
Hannah and Barbara both lean forward slightly.
“But Miss England and Miss Parker have each dropped down 1 rank.”
“Oh, that’s not too bad,” says Hannah. She and Barbara breathe a sigh of relief.
“Tch!” Diana flicks her head in annoyance. “It must be Avery.”
“She was always close behind us,” says Barbara.
Diana turns to her teammates and makes the declaration: “Hannah, Barbara, cancel your plans this week. We’re going to be studying.”
“What, seriously?” says Hannah.
“I had some shopping to do on the weekend,” says Barbara.
“We can’t let her beat us,” Diana presses on. “You two have to catch back up.”
“Avery isn’t in second place,” interrupts professor Finnelan.
The information takes Diana by surprise. She had thought it must have been Avery. But if it wasn’t her… who was it? She cycles through the other classmates… Who could have interrupted her team’s monopoly on the top three spots…? Could it have been Shao-Yi? Molly? Bice? She hasn’t noticed any of her classmates spending more time in the library than usual lately. Diana must get to the bottom of this.
The proud witch stands up straight and addresses the teacher in front of her: “Professor Finnelan. May I ask which student it is that currently occupies rank 2?”
Professor Finnelan shuffles around some papers and files on her desk before answering.
“The student who’s currently ranked number 2 in your cohort, is…” the teacher swallows, almost not believing she’s going to say what she’s about to say.
“Miss Kagari,” she answers.
The three girls freeze.
“A-Akko!?” Diana stammers.
Profession Finnelan rests her chin in her hands solemnly.
“Yes, Miss Kagari is rank 2,” the teacher reaffirms her answer.
“This must be some sort of mistake.” Diana says. “How could an incompetent excuse for a witch like her, who barely even studies, possibly overtake Hannah and Barbara’s positions?”
“Her studies have improved recently.”
“But surely not to the degree that would afford her such an unprecedented rise in place!” Diana protests.
Professor Finnelan lets out a deep sigh. “You are correct, Miss Cavendish,” she responds. “Her slight improvement in her studies is admittedly only a minor factor in her rise in the ranks.”
Hannah and Barbara look at each other with a mix of bewilderment and concern. They’ve already given up on their plans for the weekend.
“What other factors could possibly play a role in her placement then?” Diana pushes. “The purpose of the class placements is to foster a competitive spirit, to encourage students to devote themselves fully to their studies, is it not?”
She gives professor Finnelan a chance to respond. The large clock in the corner of the room rings out a tick, tock, tick, tock, while the student counsellor plans out a response.
“If a student can rise through the ranks by means outside of her studies,” Diana continues, unable to contain herself any longer, “then does that not invalidate the entire point of the system?”
Barbara starts to wonder if Diana’s face is turning a slight red, or if she’s just imagining it.
“How do you expect myself and the other students to take this system seriously, nay, to take the very institution of Luna Nova Academy seriously, if it will not take its own teaching strategies seriously?”
Hannah starts to think she can see a bit of red too.
“Isn’t a school like this supposed to be a beacon of knowledge and education in a world of ignoranc—”
“Miss Cavendish!” Professor Finnelan silences Diana.
Diana’s face flushes with embarrassment as she’s brought back down to earth.
“Pr— Professor Finnelan…” Diana mumbles. “I… must apologise for my outburst.”
“After certain recent notable events,” the exasperated teacher begins to explain, “the headmistress has determined it appropriate to award certain students extra credits.”
“Whic—” Diana stammers. “Which notable events!?”
“The dragon incident, the magical parade, and the related stone giant incident.”
Diana blushes, recalling her involvement with the dragon incident.
“It just so happens,” Professor Finnelan continues, “that Miss Kagari is the only student who was awarded extra credit for all three events. The extra credit Headmistress Holbrooke has so…” Finnelan pauses to think of a polite way to put it, “generously decided to award the students for these events, as well as Miss Kagari’s recent improvements to her grades, has caused her to rise to the second place in the cohort’s rankings.”
“But— That doesn’t—” Diana tries to get some words out without success.
“You yourself have been awarded extra credit as well for your involvement in the dragon incident and the stone giant incident, Miss Cavendish.”
Diana takes a step back. She can’t believe her ears. “The very thought! I won’t stoop to such measures. I insist the extra credit I received simply for fulfilling my duty as a witch be removed from my record.”
Finnelan furrows her brow and lets out a deep, long, sigh. She stands and retrieves a manilla folder from some nearby shelves before returning to her desk. After flipping through some loose pages, she takes out a particular document and cross references the information on it with some other papers on her desk.
Diana and the girls watch on as Professor Finnelan slowly pulls out an abacus from a drawer in her desk. The beads click clack as she works, echoing throughout the office for some minutes, before the teacher speaks again.
“If you are truly opposed to receiving the extra credit you are entitled to, I can bring it up with the Headmistress—”
“Then please do! I won’t have my academic record sullied by such things!” interrupts Diana
Finnelan pauses for a moment again before continuing. “But you should be aware, Miss Cavendish, that without the extra credit, you would be placed at rank 2.”
Diana’s face flushes a bright, bright red. “rank 2?”
“Yes, Miss Cavendish.” Finnelan nods solemnly. “rank 2… behind Miss Kagari.”
“I— What do you mea—” Diana stammers.
Hannah and Barbara exchange a look of worry.
“Behind Akko!?” Diana demands.
Finnelan takes her time to gather her thoughts before speaking, her voice sounding as if she were reading from a script. “I can understand why this may be upsetting for you to hear. It is true that Luna Nova is first and foremost a place for learning, dedicated to fostering and raising the next generation of witches.” Professor Finnelan gives Diana a chance to absorb what she’s saying.
“However, as witches, it is our duty to serve the communities we live in. Miss Kagari, Miss Jansson, Miss Manbavaran, Miss O’Neill, Miss Antonenko, Miss Braunschbank-Albrechtsberger, and even yourself, Miss Cavendish, have all demonstrated an exemplary understanding of this in your actions in protecting the school, representing Luna Nova at the festival, and protecting the populace of Blytonbury.”
Diana raises her hand and opens her mouth in protest before Professor Finnelan cuts her off.
“That is what the Headmistress has decided, with or without your approval. Miss Kagari is currently ranked number 2 in the class due to her…” Professor Finnelan’s face twinges slightly, "exemplary practical applications of her studies.”
Diana’s jaw all but hits the floor. She stands in shock, unable to process what she just heard.
“I’m sorry this is disappointing to hear.” Professor Finnelan says. “If you three ladies have no further business, I must return to my work now.”
“But—” Diana tries to say.
“Surely—” She stammers.
“Shouldn’t it—” She sputters.
“Diana… let’s just go,” Hannah interrupts the sorry sight before her.
“Yeah, I mean, she’s just going to drop back down in rank again soon isn’t she?” adds Barbara.
“That’s not… how it should work!” Diana manages to say.
The clock in the corner of the room ticks away. Professor Finnelan speaks. “I’m sorry you’re finding this upsetting, Miss Cavendish, but these are the rules. I cannot change them for you.”
Diana stands frozen in place, frantically trying to think up something— anything— to say.
“Let’s just go, Diana,” Barbara offers.
“Yeah, who even cares?” Hannah says.
Diana pleads with her teammates, “Don’t you two care? It’s Akko! Akko! She’s overtaken you both!”
“I don’t really care,” says Hannah.
“She’s just going to fall down the ranks again after it all dies down,” says Barbara.
“You cannot be serious,” says Diana. “Have you no pride as a witch? A noble representative of your lineage!?”
Professor Finnelan stands up from her chair, marches across her office, and opens the door.
“Thank you for agreeing to clean up the library, young ladies. If you need any further assistance, please don’t hesitate to make an appointment to see me again. Now take care and enjoy the rest of your days.”
The student counsellor motions for them to leave. Hannah and Barbara lead a stunned Diana out of the office into the hallway.
★
“Come on Diana, it’s not that big a deal…” Hannah scurries after a scowling Diana, stomping down the halls.
“Everyone’s watching…” Barbara scampers behind them both.
Diana’s head swings around to face the two. “It is a complete farce! It mocks the very integrity of witchhood as a profession, as a lineage, and as a time honoured tradition!” She faces forward and marches on again. “The very thought that a so-called Witch like her, a clueless girl with no respect for magical tradition, who doesn’t take her studies seriously, could overtake you two and become ranked second in class! It’s inconceivable! The thought isn’t worth entertaining! It’s laughable! Truly, just beneath any reasonable witch’s considerations.” Diana halts, only now noticing she has to catch her breath.
Only now noticing the other students, awkwardly passing her.
Her face flushes red with embarrassment. They’d all heard her unrestrained rant. They’d all seen her lose her cool. Lose her cool at Akko, of all people.
The young witch clears her throat then speaks in a measured tone. “Well, it’s no matter. It is as you said, Barbara. These events are very unusual in their nature. As the school year progresses, Akko’s lack of true work ethic will ensure she doesn’t maintain her temporary position as second in the class.”
“My temporary position as What in the class?”
A chill descends upon Diana. The color in her face flees, as she hears an all too familiar voice from behind her.
She slowly turns around to see Akko, a stubborn thorn in her side as of late, who seems to have chosen this exact hallway, and this exact time of day, to move from one of her classes to another.
Hannah and Barbara slink back into the crowd, anticipating an earful later on about not warning Diana before she said too much.
“A— Akko…” Diana scrambles to find an answer, anything, that will lead Akko away from the fact that she was just talking openly about the commoner witch being ranked second in class out in the hallway, for any student to walk past and overhear. “I was just saying that you will be performing your practical examination second for the astrology exams next week.”
Akko tilts her head slightly. “But I’m not taking astrology this semester…”
“Ahh… well…” Diana mutters, “Did I say astrology? I meant to say thaumaturgy.”
Akko tilts her head a little bit more. “I don’t have thauma-what’s-a-call-it either”
Diana turns away from Akko and produces the best smug laugh she can muster in the moment, although even she doesn’t think it was very convincing. “No, well you see, obviously I’m just… messing with you,” Diana bluffs. “Of course I know you don’t take those classes…”
“....Eh?”
An awkward silence fills the air, while the gathered witches all wait for either Diana or Akko to speak.
Diana eventually breaks the silence: “I was making fun of you, you incompetent excuse for a witch.”
“Did you say I’m at rank 2 now?” Akko asks. If she even notices Diana’s attempts to change the subject, she doesn’t show it.
Silence falls for a second time. Hannah and Barbara exchange fearful glances, not knowing how Diana will react. Diana's confident front falters; She can’t even begin to formulate a plan for this eventuality.
In all of her time since she’d been forced to interact with Akko on a daily basis, she had never even considered the possibility of being in this situation: of Akko outstripping her teammates’ positions in the class; of Akko confronting her about it, seemingly unaware she’s even doing so. But now Diana is faced with the reality that she may even have to consider the possibility that Akko may rise to claim the firs—
“Don’t get too big for your britches, you incompetent fool!” Diana hastily says, pushing the thought out of her mind. “You may have been lucky enough to cheat your way past more deserving students, to cheat your way past actual witches who work for their place here,”
Akko scowls. Hannah and Barbara exchange an awkward glance again. It is not lost on them how much more upset Diana is at Akko overtaking them than either of them are.
“You may have gotten lucky in the past, that much is true.” Diana begins to pace around Akko. “The shiny rod… or whatever you call it, not that I would know, may have responded to you for some reason. You may have been in the right time and place to help protect the town from the stone giant, or to stop the dragon from destroying the school—”
“Oh yeah, the dragon you released, right?” Akko grumbles.
Diana’s steps falter, but just for a second.
“Nevermind that. The point is that you’re not from a witch lineage, you never take your studies seriously, you’ll never be a real witch, and you will certainly never take my place at the top of the class!”
Diana heaves, caught off guard by her sudden need to catch her breath. While she recovers she notices a small crowd of students have already gathered, watching the bout between her and Akko.
Oh, you silly Cavendish! Diana berates herself. Others are watching. Get a hold of yourself.
The proud witch takes a moment to stand up straight and clear her throat. When she’s sure all observers are ready to listen, she calmly concludes, “In summary, until you take your studies more seriously, you will never truly achieve such a high position in our class. In time, you will be returned to the correct position for you, at the bottom of the class.”
She turns away from Akko, flicks her hair, and assumes a triumphant pose, waiting for her opponent’s inevitable angry retort. It’ll probably be some moronic thing about how she only does what makes her happy in the moment, Diana thinks, or whatever makes her think of shiny chariot blah blah blah. Whatever it is, it should prove once and for all, to all witnesses, that Akko belongs squarely at the bottom of our class.
“Wait…” Akko says slowly, her face showing the different thoughts connecting together in real time.
“Do you think I could get to rank 1!?”
The excited witch’s voice almost slams Diana off balance. Hushed murmurs and some stifled laughter float through the crowd of observers. Another two curious students wander over, trying to figure out what’s going on.
This isn’t going the way it’s supposed to go. Time to wrap this up. Diana decides. She straightens her posture, lifts up her chin, and sends an intense glare down to Akko.
“No. I do not think a pathetic excuse for a witch like yourself could reach rank 1 in the class. We are from two completely different worlds. I am from a world of magic and time honoured traditions, carried down generation after generation by the witches and wizards who care enough to learn and understand them.” She turns away from Akko dismissively. “You, on the other hand, are from a world of cheap tricks and frivolous distractions. You don’t care for our traditions, you only care for parlor tricks that hold the imagination of children and no more.
She turns back to face the disruptive witch.
“Are you a child, Akko?”
But Akko does not respond. She isn’t even paying attention to Diana anymore. Instead of finding Akko cowering in fear at her speech, Diana finds her talking to Sucy, who seemingly materialised just a moment ago.
“Diana thinks I could even beat her! Isn’t that so cool?” Akko boasts.
“Yeah yeah, I’m sure she said that.” Sucy says.
“Well she told me I couldn’t beat her, which means she thinks I can!”
“Ahh yes, your powers of reasoning never cease to amaze me.” Sucy rolls her eyes.
“Really!? I do have some pretty amazing reasoning powers if I do say so myself!” Diana can almost see sparkles appear in Akko’s eyes as she congratulates herself.
“Of course you do. I’m sure Diana is quaking in her prestigious boots just thinking about her rival’s absolute intelligence.” Sucy lets out a slight cackle as Akko continues to not notice her sarcasm.
The two of them walk off, leaving a stunned Diana in her place. She looks to Hannah and Barbara for some form of support, but all she gets from them is horrified stunned expressions.
The crowd that had gathered starts to slowly disperse. A mixture of giggling about what had just unfolded, looks of mild disdain, and worst of all, pained expressions of secondhand embarrassment.
“Wait—” Diana stammers. “You’re not my rival!” She calls after Akko, but she can’t hear her over the murmurs of the other students. “You’re not my rival, Akko!!”
Hannah and Barbara exchange a mortified look as Diana chases after Akko, insisting they’re not rivals. After just a moment’s thought, and a shared nod of resignation, they know what they have to do.
The two of them chase after Diana, pleading her to drop the whole thing.