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Steph is standing on the roof of the Clock tower. The surrounding building are blurry with neon lights and Gotham smog so thick that she can't make anything out clearly. In front of her Barbara frowns disapprovingly.
"You couldn't handle one measly D-rank villain, Stephanie? Really?" she says, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"I—" Steph tries to defend herself, but Barbara steamrolls on.
"Is this truly what my legacy has come to? A loud smart mouth who can't even pull her weight?" Barbara rolls forwards, Steph steps back. "God, why didn't Bruce just kick you out of the cape the first time? I can't believe he let you be Robin. There was only a few dozen better candidates!"
Steph tries to get a word in edgewise. Something to defend herself. To prove how hard she's work to earn this. To earn Batgirl. That Cass chose her. But every time she opens her mouth Barbara just fixes her a sharp look and pushes her wheelchair harder.
They make it to the end of the roof. Steph has one foot going over the edge. She glances down and swallows the lump in her throat. The road below seems hundreds of miles below her, so daunting compared the time's she been her before.
Barbara gets her attention before she can consider what would happen if she fell. "I suppose if Cass chose you, there most be some merit to keeping you around," she says, and relief crashes over Steph. "So why don’t you prove it?"
Then Barbara leans forwards and shoves Steph off the Clock Tower.
Ice cold runs through her body as she scrambles for her grapple. It's not in its spot and Steph tries digging through her pockets, but she can't find it. Above her Barbara watches her with cold detachment. Like Steph being unprepared to be shoved of a roof was expected. That her impending death was just an inevitable outcome.
Steph lets out a bitter laugh at the thought. Resigning herself to falling.
She hits training mats in one of the Bat hideouts. (Not the Cave — she isn't worthy). Tim's standing over her, holding a bō. She's holding one to. His is made out of metal. Hers is wood.
"You're pathetic at this," he spits. "I had figured out how to do this maneuver three times as fast and you still can barely do it."
Maybe it's because Shiva's a better teacher than you, she thinks, gritting her teeth. but Tim's words still leave a stinging behind her eyes.
She gets up and is in position again in no time. Tim and her circle each other, staffs at the ready. He lounges first aiming for her arm, a simple move that Steph's blocked hundreds of times. This time she moves to slow and pain blooms from where she's hit.
"Seriously, what did I ever see in you?" Tim asks.
"I don’t know, my amazingly good looks and witty humour?" Steph replies, going for her own hit.
Tim blocks it and the next three easily, like she's not worth expanding the effort. He kicks a leg out and Steph manages to jump over it. Unfortunately she gets rammed in the stomach by his staff.
"Witty humour? Do you hear yourself? That's hardly enough to make up for all your other faults."
Steph kneels, coughing up a lung. Tim is being considerate enough not to continue attacking her. Or maybe he's just decided that it would be to merciful to knock her out now.
Steph gets up, determination sealing, but this time Tim doesn't let her prepare. Blow after blow rain down on her, leaving her stumbling. Steph just barely manages to block them all, but she's being pushed back against the wall of the Cave. There's a ledge slightly to the side. She wonders is Tim might push her off it too.
Tim manages to break her bō, pointing his at her neck menacingly. "You really are just pathetic," he says lifting the the staff. Steph lifts her arm as a feeble protect against the blow, but it never comes.
She's laying on her stomach, tiny pebbles digging into her skin. Cass is straddling her legs and has both arms pinned with one hand. The other is tangled in Steph's hair, forcing her to face the disapproval in her eyes.
"You still fight sloppily," Cass says. "You should be better by now. Not- not like this."
"I'm better than I was before," Steph says. "You haven't knocked my out and left me on a roof in forever!"
Cass eyes turn pitting. "Maybe I should have," she says. "Maybe I shouldn't have given you Batgirl."
Tears well up is Steph's eyes. Something about Cass saying this hurts worse than Barbara and Tim's disapproval. "I'll do better," she promises. "I'll work harder! I'll become the strongest!"
"No. You won't."
The tears start to well out of Steph's eyes. She's laying here with twigs digging into her back listening to her greatest supporter tell her that she's failed her. That she should have left Steph to crash into her own ruin.
"Steph! Stephanie!" Cass voice rings out through the clearing. But the Cass holding her down doesn't move her mouth. "Steph, wake up!"
The scenery morphs into her bedroom and Cass' worried, kind face is in front of her. She gasps for air and feels the hair clumped to her forehead. Fuck. A nightmare.
She sits there for a moment, just breathing heavily. Cass curls up beside her grabbing her hand. A silent comfort with the rising morning light.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Cass asks after awhile.
"Not really," Steph tells hers. Most of its has fled in the waking moments, but the not good enough rings sharp. "Just the usual 'you don't deserve to be a vigilante' self worth spiral."
Suddenly Cass rolls on top of Steph. Tenderly her hands cup Steph's chin, thumb brushing under her lips. Looking dead into her eyes, Cass says, "You deserve the place you've made for yourself. Giving you Batgirl is one of the best things I ever did. I'd be honored to share it with you for the rest of our lives. I am not afraid to punch your fears away."
Steph exhales a breath of laughter as her heart swells. Leave it to Cass to try fist fighting an abstract concept. She'd probably win too.
"Alright Bat-chick," she says, "you want to give me a kiss so I can try getting another, hour of sleep or so before class?"
Cass smiles and softly presses their lips together.