Chapter Text
Jax groaned, his blurred vision slowly becoming clearer. He was sprawled across the beige carpet next to his desk, an office chair on its side just behind him. On the ground in front of him was a seemingly broken VR headset, the sight of which caused him to recoil back, away from it. Multiple parts had fallen off, the plastic case was in pieces, surely it wouldn’t work anymore. He was confused, but as soon as his breathing calmed he began to recollect everything that had happened.
They escaped the circus. No matter the details of how, they made it out, that’s all that matters now. Well, he only knows for sure that he did, he has no way to know if the others made it back to their real bodies as well. Everything felt… real. The carpet was scruffy and soft, the desk was hard with grooves, he was no longer surrounded by digital plastic and wacky colors. He was in shock to be honest, so much that it was hard to be relieved. He began running his hands across every part of his body, his lanky frame, dark-olive skin, wavy dark-brown hair. He hadn’t seen or felt his own body in years and it felt almost weird to not have a pair of ears on his head or a little tail at the back of his waist.
Once he was done, he began to take in his surroundings, back in his shitty one-room apartment. It was the best he could get on the salary he had, better than nothing at the time. It didn’t seem different from how he left it, like no time had passed in the real world while they were in the circus. Jax- well, not Jax anymore, he thought. What was his name again? It had been so long, it was hard to remember… that’s right, it’s Alex.
Alex fumbled to stand up, getting used to having a real body for the first time in years. He picked up the headset, examining it, it looked completely busted but he didn’t want to risk anything. Tossing it onto his desk, he searched around for his phone- just like he thought, apparently not a day has passed since he was sucked into that digital hell. Alex exhaled with relief before collapsing onto his bed, he could think about all the heavy stuff later, being back in a fleshy body meant he could get some actual, real, human sleep for once.
As he dozed off, his mind wandered to the others, did they make it out okay? He wasn’t very well liked in the group, only sort of getting along with a certain jester. Pomni… he really hoped she was alright. They went through a lot together, she was the main reason they were all able to escape in the first place after all, and the only reason he regained any kind of hope to escape. As much as Alex didn’t have the best relationship with some of the others, he did hope that they made it out alright, too. Ragatha, Zooble, Gangle… not that they would be thinking the same about him, anyway. Whatever, he thought, they could do what they wanted.
**************
Two Months Later
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Alex leaned against the counter, listening half-heartedly to some customer spewing their order at him. How ironic, after escaping that hellish circus his life went right back to normal. He couldn’t tell anyone, he still had no friends, and his daily cycle did not change one bit.
“Is that all?” Alex sounded completely out of it, he didn’t care if this nobody thought it was bad customer service, they haven’t done anything to deserve his respect anyways. Luckily the day was dying down, less customers coming in to get their greasy junk food they crave oh so much, he scoffed. With a sigh, he stretched his arms and walked into the back, cutting past a couple of his coworkers before reaching the employee exit. “I’m on my 10, cover the register!” He yelled back before stepping through the door.
Alex slumped his shoulders as he leaned against the brick wall of the back alley, placing a lit cigarette in between his lips. His thoughts began to wander, as they’ve been doing more often lately. He thought of the circus, the others, Pomni- just Pomni to be honest. Alex groaned as he pressed the bottom of his palm against his forehead, “Damnit, she could’ve given me some kind of hint to find her…” If he was being completely honest, he missed her, that little jester- well, now a (probably) regular sized human girl. Judging on how they all spoke English without an accent, as far as he could tell, he figured they must be within the same region at the very least. Damn, he should’ve paid more attention to that weird company that Caine was made by, C/A was it? It might pay off to do a little research into it.
Before Alex could continue thinking about the circus, he noticed that his break was up. He quickly put out the cigarette and went back inside, taking over his position at the register. He couldn’t help but be reminded of one of their earlier adventures as the whole group of six. It was Gangle’s suggestion, they all worked at a fast food restaurant not dissimilar to the one he’s working at now. Alex didn’t have a great time on that adventure, but now, months and months after, he realized it was one of the few times where they could all just be chill. Not that he contributed to that anyway, he was horrible to all of them and he would live his life in spite of the person the circus turned him into.
Time melted on by and Alex’s shift was eventually over. He helped his coworkers clean up before clocking out, hands in his pockets as he strolled out the front door with a sigh of relief. Ever since he got back to the real world, he’s been experiencing these weird migraines, figuring it was just his head getting used to his body again or something. A groan came from Alex as he held a palm against the side of his head, “Damn headaches…”
Making his way up the stairs to his apartment, Alex pulled one leg after the other with a grunt, exhausted from the week’s work along with the mental stress of processing everything that happened. Once he finally got to his room, he fell over onto his bed with yet another groan, angry not only with himself but the circumstances that he was in. A few minutes passed before there was a sudden banging on his door, startling Alex from his half-asleep state. Trudging towards the door, he opened it to reveal his landlord with a seemingly annoyed look on her face.
“I just got back from work, what is it, dude?” Alex rubbed his eyes, clearly interrupted from his plan to take a nap.
“Don’t ‘dude’ me, you’re behind on your rent, Alex! I don’t know what’s gotten into you these past couple months, but you need to get me my money this month. I’ve cut you too much slack.” Alex stared at her in shock, if the rude awakening wasn’t enough to get his attention, this very much was.
“What do you mean this month?! I barely make enough money to get you the money late, isn’t this illegal or something?"
“What’s illegal is being more lax with you than my other tenants. It’s gotten to a point, the fact that I knew your parents does not excuse you from responsibility." Alex tried to argue with her but he knew she wasn’t going to budge this time, he had to figure something out soon. She simply shut his own door on him, leaving him to stew in his own thoughts.
***
Alex leaned forward against the counter, his eyes flickering open and closed as he battled his own body to stay awake. A coworker walked past him, playfully jabbing him in the side to help him wake up.
“Yo, it’s 10, aren’t you gonna clock out?” Alex slowly turned his head in her direction, Elaine, he didn’t necessarily think of her as a friend but she was cool as far as coworkers go. Her blonde hair dropped down to her shoulders, her natural light brown visible at her roots, she even had a few piercings.
“Nah, my landlord’s on my ass about rent, so I’m working double shift.”
“Oof, that’s gotta suck. I can stick around for a little while to help if you want?” Elaine gave him a pitying smile, tilting her head to the side. Past him would say that it was gross how helpful she was and push her away with an insult, she even reminded him of Ragatha sometimes. Eugh, he really shouldn’t compare them, he might start liking Elaine less.
“Nope, I’m fine, you can go clock out.” Alex followed it up with a large stretch, seemingly trying to wake himself up and show that he’ll be fine by himself. She let out a playful scoff in response.
“If you say so, tough guy. See ya!” And just like that, she was gone. Alex slumped back over almost immediately upon her exit, the stretch doing nothing to relieve his exhaustion. It was dark out and they weren’t very busy, at the very least, so he decided to go back to the kitchen to get something to drink. First, he went to the coffee machine, finding it broken, just like their ice cream machine always is.
“Of course, nothing ever works in this goddamn place.” Alex had to settle on soda, diet coke, at least it had some caffeine in it. He leaned against a counter in the kitchen, taking a swig of his cup as he eyed the entrance in case he couldn’t hear someone as they entered. As he looked around, his eyes landed on the window of the back door.
In the small, square window below the words ‘EMPLOYEE ENTRANCE’, he saw his reflection.
No, not his actual reflection. Staring back at him was a purple rabbit with wide, yellow eyes. Alex froze, their gazes meeting each other in the middle as he slowly sat his drink on the counter. The purple rabbit furrowed his brows, mouthing some insult that Alex couldn’t make out from the other side of the glass. He was eventually able to rip his eyes away from the window, breathing heavily as he stared down at the ground. After a moment he looked back, Jax now glaring intently. He wasn’t disappearing.
“You should never have made it out.” Jax was finally audible, now appearing more visible. “You know that’s what everyone else is thinking. They probably all hope that you’re still stuck inside, ESPECIALLY Ragatha.”
“Shut up, we don’t know that for sure.”
“Oh but don’t we? Isn’t it so apparently obvious? They’d love it if we were dead, Alex! They hated us! Anybody would, after all~” Jax returned Alex’s hateful gaze with a grin.
“Shut the fuck up!” Alex’s eyes squinted, slamming his fist onto the metal counter as he yelled back at his ‘reflection’. “I’m not you! Don’t you dare blame me for things that you did!” Jax snorted, his grin widening.
“Oh yeah, I’m just a character you played, isn’t that right? That was all just a GAME, right?” Jax cocked his head to the side as he questioned Alex, jabbing a gloved index finger against his chest as if he was right in front of him. His voice turned mocking, brows furrowing inward in fake pity. “After all that, do you really think you can call yourself a person again? Really, how convinced are you that we’re different?” Alex only got more agitated, digging his nails into his palm hard enough to make it bleed.
“I’m nothing like you, you’re just a voice in my head! Nothing that happened in the circus matters now that we’re out, so leave me alone.” Alex wanted to grab Jax by the throat and completely eject him from his consciousness, but he knew that it was all in his head. Jax simply smirked, as he always did, leaning forward in a teasing sort of way.
“Is that what you’ve convinced yourself of? Well go ahead and believe that, I’m not here to solve your problems. I’m just… the funny one.” Jax grinned in Alex’s face, causing his eye to twitch.
“Right. You’re just an archetype, a mask, nothing more. So stop- haunting me or whatever. It’s weird.” Alex stood up, groaning and turning around to face the entrance once again, relieved that nobody had walked in. Jax raised an eyebrow as Alex turned his back to him, causing him to scoff. Suddenly, he grabbed Alex’s shoulders and spoke close to his ear.
“You should just give up hope on finding them. They’d hate you if you came face to face anyways. After all, they only know you as… me.” Alex grit his teeth, trying his best to ignore him. Luckily though, that seemed to have been all Jax had left to say, disappearing just a moment after making the comment.
Alex groaned and leaned against the front counter, waiting for customers to come get their late-night slop. It was slow, obviously, but he was able to get through the one or two customers every half hour without passing out.
Was Jax right? Well, he knew it was just part of him, the part of him that won’t let go of the past, but he couldn’t help but be plagued by what he said. How different were they? Is he even the real version of himself? Most importantly, how one of the others would react if they saw him and realized who he was. He missed them, he really did, but now he didn’t know what to think.
The only thing he can do now is carry on with just a little hope, that they might meet again and start fresh.