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Sasuke was six months out of college when he realized that he’d wasted his whole life working towards the wrong career path and he was totally screwed.
“You’re being dramatic,” Naruto told him from the floor. “I promise you are not the first person to realize that they’re in the wrong field.”
Sasuke scowled at the pot of rice he was minding. Naruto’s off-campus apartment had a gas stove, which gave him fits to think about when he was down in the city. What if Naruto left it on by accident? He couldn’t have a quarter-life crisis and worry about Naruto’s safety at the same time. “I spent so long getting this fucking degree,” he said, waving his wooden spoon in the air. “People would kill for my job. I can’t just quit.”
Naruto didn’t look up from his Legos (adult Legos, he’d insisted, it says 18+ on the box). “Dude, you literally can. You’re rich, you don’t need to work.”
“It’s not like I’m set for life,” Sasuke muttered petulantly. “I need to have income. Bitch.”
“I mean, I’m not saying just live off your savings forever,” Naruto said. “But, like, you can be between jobs for a bit to figure out what you want to do. Honestly, you’re lucky. A lot of people can’t do that. Bitch.”
Sasuke winced. This was true. “If you ever need to, uh, be between jobs, you know you have me, right?” he asked. “Like, I can. Uh. Support you.”
Naruto finally looked up, his face flat. “I feel like I should resent that, but you do already kind of finance my lavish high-end lifestyle.”
Sasuke eyed Naruto’s outfit. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Naruto, in response, gestured at his glass Lego cabinet, which Sasuke had gotten for him from IKEA. It stored about eleven large, completed Lego models, including but not limited to the Golden Gate Bridge, Big Ben, and the Death Star. “Dude, you’ve probably dropped a band on my Legos alone.”
“That was for my own sake,” grumbled Sasuke. “This way you don’t distract me when I’m cooking.” If it also kind of just made him happy to see his boyfriend’s face light up when he brought a new set home for him, well. No one had to know.
“Face it, Sasuke,” said Naruto, returning to his project with a smirk. “You’re like if a twink was a sugar daddy.”
“Okay, well, first of all, all the more reason that I should be employed,” said Sasuke, leaning his hip against the stove. “And second of all, fuck you. I’m not a twink. You’re a twink. I’m jacked and I’m six feet tall.”
“You’re five-eleven and a half,” said Naruto. “It’s on your medical chart.”
Sasuke pinched his nose. “I should’ve never listed you as my emergency contact.”
Naruto smiled. “Cry about it.”
Sasuke stirred the pot, sulking, while Naruto clicked away in silence for a few minutes. What the hell was he making? Sasuke craned his neck to see; he thought it might be the beginnings of a nuclear submarine.
“You really think I should just quit my job?” Sasuke asked.
“I mean, do what you want to do, but it sounds like you want to quit your job, baby.”
Sasuke stewed over that while plating their dinner. Naruto dashed into the kitchen the second he heard the clanging of plates. He tried to skid on the floor in his socks, but there were too many holes in them, so he just lurched to an awkward stop with a squeak of skin against tile. Sasuke put out an arm to keep him from overbalancing.
“I don’t know how long it’ll take me to figure myself out,” said Sasuke.
Naruto was shoveling food into his mouth before his ass even hit the seat. “I mean, if it makes you feel any better, you could get a temporary job in the meantime. Something you enjoy,” he suggested. He was spraying rice everywhere.
Sasuke gave him a surly look. “Don’t talk with your mouth full.”
Naruto swallowed with effort, then grinned. “Or what? You gonna –”
“No,” Sasuke interrupted instantly. “I will not have the dinner I slaved away on –”
“Okay, dude, it’s just rice and beans –”
“— for an hour – “
“— that’s not even close to true –"
“— go cold because you can’t keep it in your pants for five minutes!” Sasuke finished loudly.
Naruto threw his head back and groaned, long and loud and frustrated. “What’s the point of having a hot goth boyfriend if he won’t even choke me a little?”
Sasuke threw his fork down. “Okay, you’re really asking for it now.”
“Yes!” cried Naruto, flinging his hands up in the air. “Literally!”
In the end, Naruto got his way – as he so often did, where Sasuke was concerned – and Sasuke gave his two weeks’ notice, finished out the remaining time at his job, and then shipped himself upstate.
The first order of business was to find a place to live. Sasuke moved his essentials in with Naruto while he looked. He’d liked their arrangement back in college, where they lived across the street from each other, but the houses across from Naruto’s current place weren’t on the market. After a week of wandering around the apartment aimlessly and browsing Craigslist, Sasuke was no closer to finding a place to live.
“You do realize you could just live here,” said Naruto, one blond eyebrow raised, from his perch on the kitchen counter. “Like, with me.”
Sasuke, who had woken up sweaty and trapped under nearly 180 pounds of college hockey player in a twin XL not twenty minutes prior, gave him a flat look. “Not unless you get a bigger bed. And I think it’s illegal? Your lease doesn’t allow guests for more than two weeks at a time.”
“When have you ever cared if something’s illegal?” asked Naruto, pointing a fork at Sasuke.
“Okay, fair.”
Naruto swiped a piece of bacon right off the sizzling pan Sasuke was shaking. “I’ll buy you a—ow, fuck.” He dropped it instantly to blow on his burnt fingers, then stuck his thumb in his mouth and spoke around it: “I’ll buy you a nithe big bed, shawty.”
Sasuke was already rifling around in the freezer for a cold pack or some frozen peas or something. All Naruto had was a half-filled ice cube tray. Typical. “I have no idea how you’ve survived in my absence.”
“I’ve had some close calls,” Naruto admitted. “Chill, it doesn’t hurt anymore, I’m just gonna run it under cold water.”
Sasuke grunted and crunched on an ice cube moodily, watching with his arms folded. He was already going kind of stir-crazy. All he’d really been doing for the past week was house hunting and intimidating people at the college gym by wearing a hoodie and facemask and grunting loudly while doing rapid bicep curls with massive dumbbells.
Fine, Sasuke decided reluctantly, he’d move in with Naruto, that was that problem solved. The job thing was the next order of business.
Naruto took one look at his face and read his mind. “Dude, just do something part-time while you figure yourself out. Didn’t you work at a dojo around here or something before?”
Sasuke wasn’t sure how he felt about going back to an entry-level side gig that he’d done for pocket change as an undergrad. Itachi would have a fit.
“I bet they’d love to have you,” Naruto continued. “And it’d probably piss your brother off.”
Sasuke gnashed another ice cube between his teeth. It’s not like he would have to commit to anything big, and the hours were flexible. He could quit whenever he wanted, and he’d get some exercise, to boot.
“I hate it when you have good ideas,” he said eventually, tossing the empty ice tray into the sink. He shuffled over to Naruto, snuck his arms around his waist loosely and dropped his forehead on Naruto’s shoulder.
Naruto stroked his hair placidly. “Enough to –”
“No.”
“Please?”
Sasuke grabbed Naruto by the hair and shook him. “I just woke up and you’re already asking me to aggressively top you?”
Naruto sighed dramatically. “So you hate me.”
The thing Sasuke loved and hated the most about his sex life with Naruto was how energetic Naruto was. Nothing made his idiot boyfriend happier than getting worn out, carnally. Sasuke was happy to do it, but he needed to be working on a full tank of gas to go for that long. Over time, he’d learned that he needed to be more efficient if he wanted to get to sleep on time, and efficiency in this sense meant. Well.
Naruto’s hair was a little short to use as handles, but Sasuke made it work. Naruto never really fought him that hard anyway, even when he was choking, nose buried in the hair at the base of Sasuke’s cock. He just sort of stayed there, his throat convulsing and making little clicking noises. The first couple of times Sasuke wasn’t sufficiently mean for Naruto’s liking. He understood the allure of rough sex, but he didn’t want to hurt his boyfriend. He quickly changed his tune after the first time Naruto bitched him out. He’d been annoyed enough that he’d shoved Naruto’s face into the pillows and kept his hand on the side of his face, pushing down with his whole weight the entire time he was fucking him. Naruto had looked starry-eyed and was unbearably smug for the next few days: “See? Told you it’d be hot!” Sasuke didn’t quite have the heart to tell him that his favorite part of the whole thing was that his human alarm clock boyfriend slept in past eight the next morning.
Anyway. “I don’t hate you. Get on your knees.”
Naruto dropped like his strings had been cut. “Ohmygodthankyou.”
Sasuke fisted his hair and rubbed Naruto’s face against his crotch like a naughty animal. “I love how slutty you get for me.”
Naruto just blinked big blue eyes up at Sasuke and opened his mouth wide, sticking his tongue out compliantly. Sasuke worked his cock out of his jeans and fed it to him, slow but unforgiving.
“Love you,” Naruto tried to say around his mouthful. It came out extremely garbled, but Sasuke knew what he meant.
Sasuke pulled at a corner of Naruto’s mouth with his thumb obnoxiously. “Love you too. Love your mouth more, probably.”
Naruto’s eyes fluttered, his expression content and hazy. Sasuke wondered if it was possible to get cuteness aggression about a grown man sucking dick. He was suddenly feeling much more energized than he’d been just minutes before.
“I’m gonna make you so late for class,” he muttered.
Naruto gave him two dorky thumbs up, not worried about it at all. Typical.
Sasuke wasn’t sure how to feel about Naruto’s second-story flat. The lower story was inhabited by a rotating cast of college students, which gave him some pause. On the weekends that he’d come up to visit Naruto before, there were often raucous parties happening through the night on Friday or Saturday. Sasuke didn’t do well with his sleep interrupted. On multiple occasions, Naruto had to hold him back from marching downstairs and doing something that might get him arrested. Sasuke only deferred to him because Naruto was the one who’d have to deal with ticked-off neighbors year-round. That would no longer be the case.
As life would have it, the first night after Sasuke had moved in officially, the floor was thumping with a low bassline loud enough to make Naruto’s Legos rattle faintly on their shelf.
“I’m going to kill them,” said Sasuke, sitting up in bed. The room was stuffy; normally Naruto liked to keep the windows open, but the music was too loud.
Naruto squinted up at him. The room was dark, but flashing multicolored light diffused through the window from the party below, so Sasuke could see him clearly. “Dude, I just managed to fall asleep.”
“I’m not going to be able to sleep at all!”
Naruto snaked his arm around Sasuke’s waist, trying to hold him down. “It’s okay, they usually stop before three.”
“Not encouraging.” Sasuke shook Naruto off and sat up. “Whatever, I’ll talk to them tomorrow, but I’m not going to be able to sleep. I’ll just go watch something for three hours.” He wrinkled his nose. Maybe if Naruto passed out again he could go downstairs and quietly flip a few tables. Just to put the fear of God into them so that they were more likely to agree to a less insane party schedule.
Naruto tightened his arm around Sasuke’s waist. “Babe, I don’t want to sleep alone the day you finally move in with me. It’s, like, symbolic!”
“Symbolic my ass!” hissed Sasuke. “I’ve been here for weeks, and if I don’t get some air soon you’re going to be begging me to get out of your bed.”
Naruto was unruffled. “Okay, let’s get some air, then. Wanna, like, have some tea on the balcony?”
Sasuke grimaced. It would be loud out there, but the cool April night air was tempting, and he could smoke up while Naruto made the tea. “Ugh, I guess.”
Naruto met Sasuke out on their small balcony with two cups of herbal tea. Sasuke stubbed out his joint and took his cup gratefully.
The house was so dilapidated that the balcony, which was directly above the porch, sagged in the middle a bit. You couldn’t go out on it without slippers because the wood underfoot would give you splinters otherwise. Naruto had dragged two old wooden lawn chairs out there to sit in, and it would’ve been very peaceful if a decently-sized party wasn’t thumping away below them. No one had spilled out into the yard, thankfully.
“So,” said Naruto, raising his voice to make sure Sasuke could hear him over the music, “what should we do for three hours?”
Sasuke thought about it. “I mean, I’m unemployed, so we could theoretically get hammered.”
Naruto nodded. “It is Friday.”
They both sipped at their teas.
“I’d honestly rather not be hungover tomorrow, though.”
“Yeah, there’s that farmer’s market in town in the morning.”
Sasuke snorted. “We’re getting old, baby.”
“We’re twenty-two, relax,” said Naruto. “You’re too young to even be having a quarter-life crisis.”
Sasuke tipped his head back to look at the stars. “I still haven’t told Itachi that I quit my job.”
Naruto reached over between their chairs and took Sasuke’s hand in his. “You don’t owe him an explanation.”
“Mmh.”
“You’re allowed to take your time figuring things out.”
“I guess.”
“Also, Itachi can go kick rocks.”
Sasuke huffed. “You’re so annoying.”
Naruto grinned. “Oh, yeah?”
“Fucking… being there for me and shit.” Sasuke pulled his hood up so that he didn’t have to see Naruto in his periphery.
Naruto leaned forward, not to be ignored. “Um, why are you saying it like it’s a bad thing?”
“Makes me nervous,” Sasuke admitted. He could feel Naruto’s eyes on him but stared resolutely ahead.
“I mean,” said Naruto slowly, “everyone who’s ever ‘been there’ for you has either, like, left you or died? So I understand why you might feel that way. But, uh, I don’t plan on leaving or dying.”
Sasuke kept his eyes trained firmly upward. “I know.”
“Do you? I feel like you don’t believe me.”
Sasuke squeezed Naruto’s hand. “No, I do. That’s the craziest thing. Like, I’m under no illusions that I’m even remotely tolerable as a person. Like, I’m a massive dick. I take pride in it.”
“Mhm.”
“But I’m somehow, like, so sure that you like me. It doesn’t make any sense.”
Naruto made a confused noise. “Um, can you explain more?”
Sasuke peeked over at Naruto. He was watching Sasuke like a hawk, his eyes tired but clear blue.
“I dunno,” Sasuke started slowly, trying to choose his words deliberately. “I guess, like, I’ve never expected or wanted anyone to like me, so it never bothered me when nobody did. And then you started, like, following me around and wanting to hang out, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why? And I kept thinking, man, Naruto’s gonna figure out what I’m really like and realize I’m not worth the trouble, but then you kept, like, proving me wrong? And then you decided you, like, love me? And I guess one day I woke up and realized that I believe you, even if I can’t understand why, and it’s not my job to decide if you’re insane,” he gave Naruto a pointed look, “even if you are, because my job is just to make you happy.”
“Oh,” said Naruto.
Sasuke winced. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“Okay,” Naruto agreed easily. He put his finished tea down. “But hey, quarter-life crisis, why not do something exciting and dangerous? Maybe that’ll scratch the itch. We could steal a stop-sign!”
Sasuke cracked a smile, grateful for the out. “I do like the idea of doing something illegal.”
Naruto brightened and stood up, blanket pooling at his feet. He was in loose boxers and a tank top, and he stood on socked toes to peer over the edge of the porch. “Sasuke, if we turn off the kitchen light, nobody can see us up here, yeah?”
Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the back of Naruto’s head. “What are you suggesting?”
Naruto darted inside and turned off the lights, casting the balcony in shadow. Sasuke could barely make out his face when he returned, save for the errant flash of light from down below. “No one can really hear us, either.” He waggled his eyebrows.
Sasuke mentally went over the list of felonies and misdemeanors he had yet to check off the list in his head. “Yo, we could for sure do some public indecency. Which is more illegal, sucking dick in public or getting your dick sucked in public?”
Naruto inserted himself between Sasuke’s legs and crouched with a wince. “I mean, the person getting head is the one with their dick out.”
Sasuke frowned. “You, like, always get your dick out immediately when you’re going down on me, though? And technically, your dick would be way more visible than mine, since mine would be in your mouth?”
“Who says you’re the one getting sucked off here?”
Sasuke grinned, toothy and predatory. “Baby, I have never met someone as obsessed with my dick as you are.”
Naruto beamed triumphantly. “And you never will.”
Sasuke wiggled his boxers down off his hips while Naruto arranged his blanket on the ground so that he wouldn’t get splinters on his knees. There was some shuffling to fit Naruto between Sasuke’s spread legs, and then the irritations of the night were muted as Naruto took Sasuke into his mouth. Sasuke heaved a long breath out and tipped his head back. Naruto was taking his time, and Sasuke himself wasn’t in any rush to get off. He lit his joint again and then tossed the lighter aside so he could card his free hand through Naruto’s hair.
Naruto looked gorgeous in the low light, his blond eyelashes fluttering as he sucked Sasuke lazily. He wasn’t moving very much at all. Meanly, Sasuke he reached down and grabbed a fist full of Naruto’s hair and pulled him down to the root of his cock in one smooth movement. It made a slick noise that made Sasuke even harder. Naruto made a little coughing sound but didn’t gag, and held himself there even after Sasuke released pressure on his head.
“God, you’re hot like this,” breathed Sasuke. He took a drag on his cigarette while tracing Naruto’s teary eyes, his slick lips with his free hand. Naruto looked up at Sasuke hazily and swallowed around his cock.
“I wish I could keep you like this all the time,” Sasuke continued, building up steam. “I wanna use your throat until you’re too hoarse to talk, baby.”
Naruto made an indignant noise but didn’t move. Sasuke could feel his throat working so as not to gag. “Aw, babe, you know I love it when you talk. But sometimes I just want to mess you up, yeah?”
Naruto’s eyebrows creased and his eyes closed as a shiver wracked his body. Sasuke could see his arm working under him, jacking himself off.
Feeling inspired, Sasuke pinched Naruto’s nose, effectively cutting off his air. Naruto stayed there obediently for a long fifteen seconds, eyes streaming, working his cock in his own hand, and came the second he wrenched himself off, gasping for air. Sasuke admired how red and messy his face was with tears and spit and pre. “Damn, you liked that, huh?”
Naruto glared up at him silently, but Sasuke caught the hint of a smug grin pulling at his lips.
“Yeah, you did. You’re not done yet, though.” Sasuke gestured to himself, still hard and standing proud between his legs.
“God, you’re hot when you’re mean,” said Naruto, his voice gravelly. He leaned back in to suck Sasuke’s cock with intention this time, using his hand to help. Sasuke pushed Naruto’s head down again when he came and held him there for a long time, feeling Naruto swallow around him over and over, until he was sure there was nothing left. He yanked Naruto’s head off him abruptly and looked him over.
“You look so fuckin’ wrecked,” Sasuke gloated. Naruto just smiled back at him sleepily, his eyes already drooping. Sasuke reached out to wipe the wetness from his chin and under his eyes as best as he could with one hand.
“The joint is so sleazy,” Naruto said, his voice barely audible over the sound of the party.
Sasuke stubbed it out. “I’m a sleazy guy.”
“You sure fucked me like one.”
“You sure liked it.”
Naruto slid his arms around Sasuke’s waist and put his head on his lap. “Dunno what that says about me.”
Sasuke pinched his ear softly. “Just that we’re well matched.”
Sasuke felt a weight lift from his shoulders when he walked into his old dojo. The familiar smell of the rubber mats and sweat settled him, somehow.
“Wow, look who decided he wasn’t too good for us after all,” drawled Kakashi Hatake from his post behind the front counter. “Hey, where’s your handler?”
“Go die,” said Sasuke. He pulled his hood further down over his forehead. “You’re not supposed to put your feet up there.”
“I own this place. My feet go wherever they want.”
Sasuke dropped his bag of gear on the counter, dangerously close to Kakashi’s bare dogs. “I’d ask for a job application, but I know you can’t afford to turn me down.”
“Business is booming without your surly mug around to scare people off, actually,” said Kakashi. He gestured at the large room behind him. About twenty kids were balancing on one leg.
Sasuke surveyed the group until he found the taller figure of the sensei and blanched. “Tell me that’s not who I think it is.”
Kakashi grinned. “I’ll get you the application. You can start today.”
“I’m so screwed,” Sasuke called as soon as he opened the front door that night.
Naruto had apparently been waiting on the couch watching the door like a dog, because he barreled into Sasuke’s open arms like he’d been shot out of a cannon. Sasuke wheezed but caught him. “Welcome home!”
“Um, thanks? Dude, ew, I’m so sweaty.”
Naruto just rubbed his cheek harder against Sasuke’s neck. “I know, it’s the best.”
Sasuke shuffled his shoes off and kicked them into their cubby as best he could with Naruto trying to baste himself like a turkey with Sasuke’s sweat. “Okay, okay, get off, I need to take a whiz.”
Naruto disentangled himself but followed Sasuke to the bathroom. “Can I hold your dick while you pee?”
“You are such a fucking freak, I cannot stand you.” Sasuke tried to slam the door on Naruto but was outmuscled. “What’s going on with you tonight?”
Naruto hoisted himself onto the bathroom counter next to the sink. Sasuke took a wary half-step away from him before unbuckling his belt.
“I dunno,” said Naruto, his legs swinging, “it’s just, like, we’re living together. For real. Like adults in a long-term relationship.”
Sasuke frowned. “I mean, that’s what we are, right? Or I thought so.”
“Yeah, and like, you came home to me after your day at work.”
Sasuke wasn’t sure he was understanding. “I’m not sure what that has to do with anything?”
Naruto’s face fell a little. “Uh, nothing, I guess. Never mind.”
Sasuke sat down on the toilet. He couldn’t piss standing up in these conditions. “No, dude, seriously. I want to understand.”
Naruto wrinkled up his nose like he was holding in a sneeze. Or tears. Sasuke sat and pissed and waited for him to be ready.
“It’s kind of, like,” Naruto tried, haltingly. “Like, when you think of a family.”
Sasuke tended to try not to think about family. But he nodded at Naruto to show he was listening.
“I dunno,” Naruto continued, gesticulating like he could conjure the right words out of thin air. “It’s like, ‘honey, I’m home!’ That kind of thing.”
“Oh,” said Sasuke. He stood up, shaking himself a few times and tucking his dick back in his pants. “Wait, no, I get it.” He nudged his way between Naruto’s legs. “You’re right, this is a big deal.”
Naruto looked like he was trying to be annoyed, but he leaned forward into Sasuke’s arms anyway. Sasuke stuck his hands under Naruto’s shirt, feeling up the hot skin over his waist and up his back. Naruto was like a furnace, as always.
Sasuke knocked their foreheads together. “It’s the fuckin’ best thing in the world to come home to you,” he said with conviction.
Naruto made a squeaking noise like he was trying to swallow a hiccup, then took a couple deep breaths to pull himself together before speaking again. “I’m still mad at you.”
“That’s allowed,” said Sasuke, his hands still moving on Naruto’s flanks.
Naruto wrinkled his nose a second time. “Ugh, stop that.” He flapped a hand at Sasuke’s face when Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at him. “Being, like, understanding and mature. When did that happen?”
“Um, I am definitely neither of those things, and I kind of resent the implication that I am,” said Sasuke. “I just love you, jackass. I, like, want to do right by you.” Sasuke could feel himself turning red. He was kind of furious at himself for being so honest, but he couldn’t regret it. Naruto narrowed his eyes and watched him for a long moment.
“I love how embarrassed you get when you say something sincere,” said Naruto finally, once he’d looked his fill of Sasuke’s red face. “Like you used to get when I jerked you off, remember?”
“Shut up.”
“Remember when you wouldn’t even let me see your dick?”
“You’ll never see it again if you keep bringing it up,” Sasuke muttered darkly.
Naruto slid a hand down the back of Sasuke’s jeans, capitalizing on his unbuckled belt. “Too bad. Can I touch it, at least?”
Sasuke felt his blood run hot. This was his problem; if something got him going, he went into something like a rage blackout. Naruto loved nothing more than to make this happen.
“The bigger bed is coming tomorrow, right?” he asked Naruto.
“Yeah?”
Sasuke fingered the collar of Naruto’s t-shirt. “So we don’t have to worry about, like, the structural integrity of the current bed past tonight, yeah?”
Naruto grinned. “I like where you’re going with this.”
“Should we shower?” asked Sasuke, tilting Naruto’s head this way and that to expose his throat.
“I mean, I like you all sweaty,” said Naruto. “But I’d also love to fuck you, so like, do what you gotta do.”
“Oh, wow,” said Sasuke lowly, dragging his teeth across a tendon in Naruto’s neck. “So you were just sitting there, waiting for me to get home so you could get it in?”
“Yeah, so?”
“So nothing.” Sasuke bit down on the muscle at the join of Naruto’s neck and shoulder. “I mean, tomorrow’s the weekend, so it’s not like either of us need to be in one piece until Monday.”
Naruto let out a breathy ‘ah’ sound at the bite. He wrapped a hand around the back of Sasuke’s neck, holding him there. “I’ll put some towels down.”
They didn’t successfully break the bed, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. Naruto only started to run out of energy at two in the morning. “You got more in you, Sasuke?” he asked, panting, not two minutes after nearly breaking Sasuke’s back on his dick for the third time that night.
Sasuke groaned into the pillow, face-down and covered in sweat and cum. “You’re still in me, dude.”
Naruto let Sasuke take the full brunt of his dead weight. “Mmh. Let me stay here for a sec.”
“Sure, whatever, I’ll just keep the wet spot warm for you,” Sasuke groused. “No problem. That’s not gross for me at all.”
Naruto grunted. “It’s called afterglow, Sasuke, ever heard of it?”
Sasuke huffed, too tired to argue. “Oh, I was going to tell you, before we got distracted. Guess who started working at the dojo?”
“Sasuke. Please.”
“Don’t care. Guess.”
Naruto caved. “Fine. Well, I know Shikamaru’s there, but you like him.”
“I do not.”
“Um, yes, you do.”
“I tolerate him.”
“Sure, yeah.”
Sasuke elbowed up at Naruto from beneath him. “Baby, I have to work with Gaara and Neji.”
Naruto snorted. “Oh, you’re screwed, yeah.”
“It’s not funny!”
Naruto rolled off Sasuke. Sasuke rolled onto Naruto and propped his head up on his chest. “I don’t get what your issue is with Gaara,” said Naruto. He threw his hands up in the air in exasperation when Sasuke gave him a knowing look. “He seriously doesn’t like me like that, dude.”
Sasuke smirked. “If I died tomorrow I guarantee he’d be in your DM’s within a week.”
“Bro, I keep telling you, stop talking about your untimely death, it makes me anxious.”
“I’m not going to die an untimely death, because I would never let Gaara even consider that there’s a chance with you. I’d like to see someone try to kill me.”
“Why are you so convinced you’ll die from murder? You’re way more likely to, like, get hit by a car or something,” Naruto groused.
“I’ve made a lot of enemies in my time, you never know,” said Sasuke darkly.
Sasuke’s greatest secret was that he loved teaching kids how to fight. He loved kicking a teenager’s feet out from under him or watching a little girl plant herself on top of her friend and start throwing headshots. Sanctioned violence had been a big release for him as a kid, and he was thrilled to pass it on to the next generation of disillusioned youth.
“Can you take the team to Philly for this tourney?” asked Kakashi, not two weeks after Sasuke began work. “I know you don’t have anything better to do.”
“You want me to supervise five twelve-year-olds at a hotel in fucking Philadelphia?” Sasuke loved the job, but there wasn’t anything or anyone in the world who could convince him to go to Pennsylvania, much less Philly. “You’ve got me fucked up.”
He relayed this to Naruto that night, slouched on the couch watching Naruto assemble his latest Lego set. This one was a bouquet of assorted flowers.
“Damn, really? That’s too bad you said no, I would’ve loved to go with you,” said Naruto. “I’ve always wanted to try a Philly cheesesteak.”
“You can get a Philly cheesesteak down the street,” said Sasuke.
“Not a Philly Philly cheesesteak!”
Sasuke huffed. “Would you watch the kids at night for me so I can chill out and read?”
Naruto brightened. “Um, fuck yes?”
The tournament was a great success. Two of Sasuke’s five charges won medals, which he hadn’t expected at all. Naruto watched every match with Sasuke, whooping and hollering while Sasuke stood glaring with his arms crossed. The kids even went to bed early that night, which gave Sasuke the opportunity to read in bed under his favorite conditions: with Naruto watching him from the pillow.
“You know, it’s kind of creepy when you do that,” he said without looking up.
“I don’t know what to tell you. I’m a creep,” said Naruto. “I wish you hadn’t taken your piercings out.”
Sasuke touched his lip where his snakebite piercings usually were. “I dunno, seemed like the kind of thing that a coach wouldn’t have for an event like this.”
“Since when have you ever cared about that shit?”
Sasuke shrugged and put his book down. “I don’t. I was just trying to, like, model the dress code for the kids. You’re not allowed to wear jewelry in a fight. And anyway, I didn’t take ‘em all out.” He stuck out his tongue.
“Aww, my favorite,” said Naruto. He reached out to touch.
Sasuke bit his finger and went back to his book, chewing at it absentmindedly.
“Can I have it back?” asked Naruto.
Sasuke chomped down harder.
“Ow, shit, sorry I asked.” Naruto cuddled closer so he could rest his elbow on Sasuke’s chest.
“Lobe you,” said Sasuke around the finger.
“Yeah, you’d better.”
When Sasuke got back to work at the dojo after the tournament, Kakashi handed him five hundred dollars cash “as a little bonus.”
“Nice,” said Sasuke. “Tax-free.”
“Great to have you back,” said Kakashi, mostly sincere. “Say, how long are you staying?”
Sasuke thought about his C.V., which was nowhere near updated or ready to send out for job apps. He’d spent a few hours the past weekend on Indeed and ended up facedown on his bed for an extended period of time, to Naruto’s concern. “Um, how long will you have me for?”
Kakashi shrugged. “Job’s here for you as long as you want it. You’re good with kids, you know that? Surprisingly.”
“Whatever,” said Sasuke. “Thanks.”
Kakashi smiled at him brilliantly in a way that he felt should not be as threatening as it was from a man reading a titty mag.
“I haven’t applied for any jobs,” Sasuke told Naruto that night.
Naruto clicked submit on an assignment and confetti exploded across the screen of their bedroom desktop computer. He swiveled around in the desk chair to face Sasuke, who was sitting morosely on the bed. “Okay?”
Sasuke picked at a loose thread on their comforter. “I don’t want to.”
“Okay?”
Sasuke blinked up at him. “Huh?”
Naruto leaned back in the chair and swiveled this way and that. “You make money fine at the dojo. You don’t need to have everything figured out right away.”
Sasuke rubbed his eyes. “I feel like I’m doing everything wrong.”
Naruto grinned. “You always do me right.”
Sasuke just looked at him for a good long time. Naruto went back to his schoolwork, content to let Sasuke stare at him until he sorted himself out. Naruto, with his socks with holes in them that he refused to get rid of. With his big blue eyes and sharp teeth and soft heart. Naruto, who let Sasuke chew on him whenever he wanted and greeted him at the door after work like he’d been gone for years. Who loved Sasuke the way he was and never blinked at his moods and worried about Sasuke the same way Sasuke worried about him.
Sasuke crept out of bed and deposited himself on Naruto’s lap, putting his arms around him and resting his forehead on his shoulder. Naruto didn’t miss a beat, just adjusted his posture so that he could still reach the keyboard.
“Love you,” Sasuke muttered into his shirt.
Naruto kissed the side of his head. Sasuke fell asleep to the sound of Naruto’s hands on the keyboard and only woke up when he was being carried to bed.
“This is emasculating,” Sasuke grumbled, half-heartedly slapping at Naruto until he dumped him on the bed.
“You wanna fuck me until you feel masculine enough again?” asked Naruto, putting a knee on the bed and leaning over to fix Sasuke’s bangs.
“Too tired,” said Sasuke.
“Yeah, me too,” said Naruto. “Scoot over, bitch, I wanna snuggle.”
“We should probably get married,” Sasuke said offhandedly one night while they were doing their reading-and-Legos routine.
Naruto didn’t even look up from his Eiffel Tower. “Yanno, Sasuke, usually when people have a midlife crisis they get divorced, not married.”
“I mean, yeah, but you’re, like, the one thing in life that I am sure of,” said Sasuke. He thought about it more, then frowned. “And if I die suddenly and tragically, I want you to have my money.”
Naruto was sitting up straight now, gawking at him.
“What?” asked Sasuke defensively. “I mean it.”
“I know you mean it,” said Naruto. He was slowly going a shade of red that Sasuke hadn’t seen since the first time he let Naruto top. “That’s – I know you mean it.” Naruto blinked a couple of times, looking baffled at his own reaction.
Sasuke nodded once and returned to his book. After a minute or so, the clicking of Naruto’s Legos resumed.
Then it stopped again. Sasuke looked up just in time to take a hastily constructed fist-sized block of Legos to the forehead from a hysterical-looking Naruto.
“Ow! Son of a bitch,” hissed Sasuke, holding his head. “What was that for?”
Naruto was standing up and breathing deeply, like he was trying not to cry. He was still red as a lobster. “You fucking freak! You can’t just – you said – and you –”
Sasuke didn’t think he’d ever seen Naruto at a loss for words like this. “Um, sorry?”
Naruto started trying to kick at Sasuke’s shins. Sasuke jumped onto the couch to avoid his blows. “Naruto, holy shit, use your words,” he yelped. “I’m sorry! Did you want, like, a flash mob or someth-- ”
“That’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me!” Naruto howled, clenching his hands in the air like he wanted to be strangling someone. Sasuke held him at bay with a foot on his chest. “Me? I’m the one thing you’re sure of?”
“Yeah, so? You got a problem?” Sasuke shot back, confused and indignant.
“I don’t know!” Naruto wailed. He wasn’t crying but he looked near tears.
Sasuke threw up his hands. “Fuck you, I’ll be romantic if I want! You’re the love of my life, dumbfuck!”
All the tension left Naruto in an instant. Sasuke cautiously lowered his leg, watching the fight leave Naruto’s body, his hands falling to his sides.
They stood there for a long moment, both breathing a little unevenly, Sasuke standing awkwardly on the couch.
“Don’t talk about dying suddenly and tragically,” said Naruto finally, looking at Sasuke’s stomach instead of meeting his eyes. “If you die I’ll kill you.”
“Okay,” Sasuke agreed instantly.
“I’m sure about you, too,” Naruto added.
“I know.” Sasuke stepped gingerly down off the couch and into Naruto’s vise-like grip. The guy was like a boa constrictor on the ribs. Sasuke wrapped his arms around his neck in return.
“Sorry for freaking out.”
Sasuke pressed a smile into Naruto’s hair. “It’s okay. Keeps things interesting around here.”
Naruto sniffled. “Love you.”
“Yeah,” said Sasuke. “Love you too.”