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The battlefield crackled with tension.
Dust swirled in the air like confetti with debris from the last explosion still floating as Cale Henituse lowered his shield and gave Raon a silent nod.
Eruhaben, in all his golden glory, floated behind them keep a watchful eye on the situation and gives assistance when needed.
While Rosalyn stood poised with mana flickering in her palms, sending various spells towards the enemy camp.
Choi Han, on the other hand, gripped his sword with a calm that belied the fire in his eyes. He swung at his enemies without hesitation and with precision.
Opposite them, descending from the sky like a melodramatic overripe banana, was the White Star.
His red hair swayed in the wind, his robes billowed ominously, and his eyes gleamed, or well rather, squinted, as he peered down at the group before him.
"CAAAAALE HENITUSE!" he roared loudly, before dramatically pointing in one direction.
Cale didn’t even flinch as he was used to this by now. He’d been the target of that maniacal yelling more times than he could ever count.
However, it was still slightly insulting when White Star, with his eyes narrowing into pinpricks, launched a massive fireball... right at Eruhaben.
Immediately, the battlefield descended into silence.
Eruhaben caught the fireball with a single flick of his hand with a offended expression.
"I’m not even remotely red-haired," he snarked.
White Star blinked his eyes repeatedly at the unexpected result, before squinting even harder.
"Wait… Henituse?!"
Looking at the idiot frantically turning his head everywhere, Cale sighed tiredly and he raised a hand.
"Over here."
White Star turned slightly to the left and gasped in realization.
"Aha! There you are! That mop of hair of yours is so hard to find!."
Raon, who was hovering beside Cale, muttered in a discontent.
"He’s color-blind! Or maybe just blind-blind."
Choi Han, ever the polite one, asked Cale in a confused tone.
"Should we tell him to get glasses, Cale-nim?"
Cale didn't even respond to that. He merely sighed again and rubbed his temples harder.
Dammit, fighting Unranked Monsters would be easier than whatever the fuck this is.
Meanwhile, White Star had started to hover down, though he did sway lightly when he landed.
"Darn reincarnations! My vision gets blurrier every time. You know how many lifetimes I’ve squinted through? You try coming back twenty-two times and not needing bifocals!"
And in response, Cale arched an unimpressed brow.
"That sounds like a you problem."
White Star then stepped forward, misjudged the distance, and nearly tripped over a rock.
He recovered with a flourish that might’ve looked impressive if he hadn’t immediately tried to cast a spell and launched it straight into a nearby tree instead of at Cale.
The tree promptly exploded.
The tree, who had done nothing wrong and was only hit by a stray(or well blind in this case) bullet, burned in righteous indignation.
Rosalyn, who was watching everything unfold, deadpanned with twitching lips.
"Is it morally wrong to laugh at our enemy when he's clearly having a rough time?"
"Not if the enemy is that guy," Cale replied blankly, "laugh all you want."
And then, as if he heard that(Cale said it loudly on purpose, White Star spun again dramatically.
"You mock me! You think this is funny? This, this is a burden! I see twelve blurry red blobs every time I close my eyes. And I’ve tried potions! I’ve tried eyeball-healing spells! You think this world have a cure for astigmatism?! They don’t!"
Unfortunately, the group wasn't even listening at this point. They had already huddled together with Cale, and was even whispering with each other behind their hands.
Raon had tilted his head, before asking the exasperated Eruhaben
"Goldie Gramps, is that even a real thing?"
On the hand, White Star even began to sniffle as he continued ranting about his misfortune.
"When you’ve been reborn enough times you tend to forget how many fingers you have. Don’t ask me to count. I’ll say 'twelve' and believe it."
Cale stared blankly at him, before glancing at Choi Han, who could only give him a helpless shrug.Rosalyn finally lost composure and started laughing her head of.
White Star pouted at the sound. He actually pouted.
"I hate red," he grumbled like a child to the wide-eyed audience. "I used to like red. I wore red, bled red, even my hair is red. But now every time I see a shade of tomato I go blind for three seconds. That’s your fault, Henituse."
"That’s a very specific medical condition," Cale noted with an amused hum.
White Star sniffed again, this time even swiping at his eyes.
"You try reincarnating for a thousand years without breaks. My spirit body is literally unraveling at the seams. The other day I summoned a mirror and my reflection waved at me. And then gave me a thumbs down."
Eruhaben, who was done with this idiocy, leaned over to Cale and whispered.
"Can we kill him now or is it rude while he’s monologuing?"
"We let him embarrass himself for another five minutes first," Cale whispered back immediately without hesitation, he decided to just give up and watch the idiot.
And White Star, the said idiot, raised a finger and began pacing, except he walked in a crooked line and nearly bumped into Raon, who had to flap out of the way.
"AUGH!" White Star flailed wildly. "A flying black potato just attacked me!"
Raon glared, offended to be compared to a mere potato. This great and mighty self was compared to a potato! How dare he?!?
"I am a great and mighty DRAGON, Stupid White Star!"
"I CAN’T SEE!" White Star cried out, now starting to be hysterical. "I haven’t been able to properly target anyone since reincarnation number eight! I’ve been faking it when they need my signatures! Half of the time I just throw fire in the general direction of rage and hope it works!"
He then pointed at Choi Han next.
"And you! Y-you are..?" he looked unsure as he squinted harder. And then, with a confident laugh, he continued.
"You're Cale Henituse again, aren’t you?!"
Choi Han looked confused, which was understandable, before answering honestly to the triumph red-head.
"No."
White Star flinched at the correction, because again he is wrong, then stomped his feet as he grunted.
"Then who are you? The butler?"
Rosalyn promptly clapped a hand over her mouth again when Choi Han's face darkened.
To be mistaken as that old man of all people... Choi Han couldn't accept that.
Cale, who had been watching all of this happen, took a long long breath before finally deciding to intervene.
And so, with an 'I'm so done with this' expression, Cale called out to the bewildered White Star.
"You attacked Eruhaben-nim earlier, and mistook Choi Han as my butler. Are you even trying at this point?"
White Star scowled at the implication that he was dumb. Then turned to Beacrox, who had appeared with his broadsword in his hand.
"Ah, my nemesis. There you are!"
Cale, utterly bewildered now, asked in a dumbfounded voice.
"Wait, are you calling Beacrox me now?"
White Star nodded his head solemnly.
"The reddish tint on his clothes, clearly it’s blood. That must be because you cough up blood so often."
Beacrox didn’t even say anything, he simply held his weapon a bit tighter.
And it was at that moment that Rosalyn took this as a chance and whispered to Raon.
"How long until he mistakes an animal for Young Master Cale?"
Raon giggled immediately, then whispered back in a delighted voice.
"Ten minutes, maximum."
However.
It was at that moment.
As if to prove them wrong, White Star spun around in from where he's standing... and pointed at a nearby scarecrow someone had left in the field.
"THERE! That is definitely Cale Henituse! I recognize that silhouette anywhere!"
Again, there was silence.
And then, with a very gentle voice, Cale spoke up.
"That was straw."
White Star huffed back defiantly. He raised his chin and crossed his arms as he yelled.
"It had your posture! All stiff and annoying!"
Rosalyn nearly doubled over in laughter, while Choi Han smiled brightly at Cale.
"Cale-nim, does this mean you radiate the same energy as an inanimate straw figure?"
"I will throw you all into the sun," Cale grumbled back darkly.
Meanwhile, Raon floated in lazy circles around White Star’s head now, invisible thanks to his magic.
"I am Caaaaaale Henituseeee… I’m right behind youuu…" he whispered, then flew back quickly to Cale's arms while snickering.
White Star shrieked loudly and turned around to flung a barrage of fire–
–directly at his own foot.
He yelped, tripped over the rock he had almost stepped on earlier, and tumbled face-first into a patch of wildflowers.
Cale rubbed his temples again.
"Okay, now we can drop the rock."
"Big one or medium one?"
"Bigger, I think he deserves it."
Raon immediately zipped up into the sky, his delighted cackling echoing through the battlefield.
White Star was still trying to sit up, flower petals now in his hair.
"This isn’t over! I’ll find you, Henituse! One of these days I’ll get you and your little red hair too–"
But he didn't get to finish his sentence as a boulder appeared up above and fell on top of him.
The group exhaled in satisfaction as the impact shook the ground.
"That one really looked like the Unlucky Bastard," Eruhaben said with a smirk ad he pointed at the crater.
Cale rolled his eyes at the bad joke.
"Ha Ha, very funny."
Rosalyn then added with a mischievous look on her face.
"If I dye my hair redder, do you think he’ll start chasing me instead?"
Choi Han looked thoughtful at her suggestion, clearly considering it for future tactics.
"We could create an army of red-haired decoys."
"We already have one," Cale deadpanned. "it’s called the tomato harvest."
His flat tone caused everyone to laugh, a clear contrast from the muffled voice beneath the rock, who cried out, "I HEARD THAT!"
And thus, the greatest threat to the continent was thwarted again, not by force, but by his very own bad pair of eyes.
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