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A Return Isekai?! Natsuki Subaru Returns Home With An Incompetent Tag-Along!

Summary:

When Julius and Subaru are whisked away from the Pleiades Watch tower, the last place Subaru expected to end up was Japan! How did this happen? Are his parents- Wait, Julius, Stop! NO! DON'T ATTACK THE CARS! You idiot, PUT DOWN YOUR SWORD! THE POLICE ARE THE GOOD GUYS! WAIT-!

Notes:

Hello! I'm writing for fun, and I will not respond to any comments. I promise I will not leave this work unfinished, and uploads will probably be about once every week or two. I'm maintaining ~5 buffer chapters, too, so sorry if there are any upload issues. Please enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Am I... Home? WAIT STOP JULIUS-

Chapter Text

After the tumultuous events in the Pleiades watch tower, Subaru sat on a bed of shrubbery in the Green Room, talking with Ram about the spirit healing its inhabitants.

"Anyways, I wonder if we can talk to it with the added effect of Julius' Divine Protection...

Subaru had about 3 seconds to ponder the possibility before the man in question opened the door and opened the room. Since when did convenient coincidences happen for him?

"Oh, Julius, we were just-"

Subaru stopped talking when he saw Julius' face. Instead of his typical polite smile, The Finest of Knights had thin eyes and drawn eyebrows as he dashed into the room, examining the room.

"O-Oi, Julius, what's up? And you too, Ram?"

Indeed, Ram stood up quickly despite her exhaustion, face suddenly serious. “...I…sensed something strange. This is…”

Subaru moved to his feet as well as a piercing light began spilling from the center of the room. Subaru and Ram moved toward Rem as Julius moved toward Meili, all of them meeting at Rem's bedside. Julius stood in front, Subaru beside him, as Meili and Ram stood closer to the unconscious Rem.

“What-what-what-what, what’s happening!?” 

“I don’t know! In any case, do not leave us! No matter what happens... Oh, AH!?”

The light began to dim, leaving a figure visible on the ground in the middle of the room.

“—Huh?”

“...A girl?”

Subaru was stunned. “—Louis Arneb”

Ram turned to stare at Subaru like she was trying to pick him apart. “Louis Arneb...the name of the last Gluttony, isn’t it?”

Julius stiffened at her words, drawing the spare sword he carried in place of his family heirloom and pointing it at the unconscious figure laying on the ground.

Subaru turned to Ram. "Take Meili and Rem, and find Emilia-tan! Julius and I will... watch her!"

Ram stared at Subaru as if she could prevent him from doing something foolish through intimidation. Honestly, he felt like it might start working if she kept at it long enough. Is this another of Ram-neechan's hidden powers?!

"Barusu better not do anything foolish," She finally turned around, collecting her unconscious sister and holding Meili's hand as she continued talking to Subaru. “—The healing effects of the room have disappeared. The Spirit is gone.”

"“Ah... That’s a joke, right?”

Julius took over the conversation as Ram gathered her exhausted strength to gently hold up Rem. "It's true. Even you might be able to feel its absence if you concentrate."

"Oi, did you have to phrase it that way, prick?"

Julius ignored Subaru. "It's quite likely that the Sin Archbishop has something to do wi-."

Julius was cut off by the sudden appearance of massive, swirling black hands fiercely creeping through the tower. An explosion rippled through the room, and Subaru would have been thrown into the ceiling if Julius hadn't grabbed the back of his shirt. What, was he a cat being carried by its mother? 

"Patrasche! Take Ram-!"

“—Ree-reeee!”

Subaru lifted Meili toward the injured but determined Patrasche, who had already collected Ram and Rem, and Julius used his spirits to try and hold back the black shadow-the fifth obstacle that had killed everyone more times than Subaru cared to count-as Patrasche held the more vulnerable residents of the room. Despite his attacks, the shadows remained unfazed, and Julius wore a grim expression. At least Subaru has firepower to work with. "Julius! Break down a wall!" If the spirit was gone from the room, they had no reason to worry about its structure and they needed to evacuate.

Julius quickly understood, twirling dramatically to launch an attack at the wall in front of Patrasche and away from the swirling black hands.

Subaru, exhausted mentally and physically, ran toward Julius and grabbed his arm as they both dashed after Patrasche.

"BARUSU-!"

Subaru wanted to listen to the rest of the sentence. He really did. But he had already been consumed by the black shadow.

 


 

"...'I love you'...."

"...'But, I’m not gonna lose. I won’t lose. No matter how many times it takes, I’ll keep fighting. This time, I’ll keep my promise.'..."

"...' —I, am Volcanica. In accordance with the ancient covenant, the will of thee who hath reached the top shall be questioned.'..."

 


 

"Mmm..."

Subaru groaned, slowly waking up to the uncomfortable feeling of his face rubbing against a rough surface. Weren't moss and grass supposed to be soft?

He cracked open his eyes, only to squeeze them closed immediately. It was so bright that the migraine hiding behind his ears began bouncing around his skull, and the only thing he'd been able to garner through his brief glimpse was a mop of short lavender hair.

Julius. Great. Just what he wanted to wake up to.

Wait, did that mean he fell asleep next to the purple prick?!

No, he never fell asleep. He-

The events of the Green Room and the black void came rushing back, worsening his migraine but spurring him to stand up and survey his surroundings.

For several moments, he thought he was still unconscious.

Right behind Julius, who was slowly waking up, were glass doors.

Not just any glass doors; automatic sliding glass doors. Sealing the entrance to a dreadfully familiar convenience store. Surely he was hallucinating? If headaches were a sign of hallucinations, it seemed fairly likely...

Yet the asphalt, since he and Julius were resting on an asphalt parking space, felt warm and exactly like the smooth-but-gravely asphalt he remembered walking on more that a year ago.

The white paint on the road, the urban apartment buildings, the power lines draping across wooden poles...

"Oi, is this Echidna again?" He muttered to himself, voice warbling.

As Subaru stood staring at his surroundings, shocked into silence, Julius woke up and stood up as well. The poor purple-haired knight was even more confused than Subaru was.

"Subaru! Are you alright?" Julius turned away from his strange surroundings to evaluate his swaying comrade.

"Even if you ask that, can I give you a straight answer? I don't even know what's real anymore." Subaru let out a dry chuckle.

Julius frowned, evaluating Suaru. "I understand we're in an unfamiliar place, but if you are seeing what I am seeing I don't believe you are hallucinating. Even the ground feels strange, and the air is..." Julius scrunched up his nose. "Almost foul."

"Moreover, my gate..." He placed a gloved hand on his chest. "I can't feel my mana, or my beloved spirits. It's not as if the contract has been broken, but as if...."

Subaru clutched his own chest, closing his eyes to his dizzying surroundings to focus on his own contract. "It feels like my lovely Beako is so far away, I couldn't even begin to try and find her." He finished for Julius, keeping his eyes closed. Surely he couldn't be blamed for denying his home if it was an illusion created to distract him? But if Julius was here, too, and he felt the same...

Julius trailed off and stared at Subaru as the black-haired boy repeatedly poked his arm. "Subaru, I assure you I am real. I don't believe either of us are hallucinating."

"'That's just what I'd expect a hallucination to say!' Is such a cliche line that I can't even use it here..." Subaru responded. As might be expected, Julius and his arm were completely solid. "But even if this is a magical hallucination, wouldn't it be too lazy to make everything intangible?"

Julius sighed, grabbing Subaru's arm. "Please pull yourself together, Subaru. We've been sent into an unfamiliar setting, cut off from our mana and spirit partners, with no clue how to return home. I can only hope that Anastasia and the others are safe in the tower since they are not here with us. Nevertheless, our first priority must be gathering information on how we can rejoin our comrades in the watchtower. We should-!"

Julius cut himself off, eyes wide, as he watched a car driving by. Quickly stepping in front of Subaru, he drew his sword, angling it at the white Toyota sedan as it drove closer to the duo. "Subaru! Be careful, I-!"

Subaru dashed in front of the knight, pushing down his sword arm as the car harmlessly passed them by. "What the heck are you doing, you idiot?! You can't go around drawing your sword everywhere unless you want to be arrested! Cars aren't trying to eat you alive or snipe you, so leave them be so you don't startle the driver into an accident!" But if it was a hallucination, did it really matter? Subaru examined his own hypocrisy and decided to ignore it for the time being. 

Julius stood back, staring at Subaru. "Subaru, it's reckless to jump in front of someone wielding a sword. Surely you know this? And what is a 'caru'? How did you know it was harmless?"

Julius grabbed Subaru's shoulder, gently but firmly, and looked him in the eye. "Do you know something about our current situation that I do not?"

Subaru sighed, drawing a hand down his face before rubbing at his temples, reluctant to explain the magnitude of his experiences and the current situation. "I, um..." He trailed off, sighing again, as Julius lowered his hand and replaced his sword. "Julius, would you stay right here? I need to dash into the convenience store," He pointed at the sliding glass doors behind them into the (thankfully!) all-but-empty building, "to check something really important. After that, I'll," He sighed a third time. "I guess I need to explain some things, huh?" He gave another humorless chuckle.

Julius evaluated Subaru's face before closing his yellow eyes. "I trust you, Subaru, but please remain cautious and share a proper explanation with me upon your return." He nodded at his friend (Oi, we're not friends!), who gratefully smiled back and walked toward the convenience shop.

He approached the automatic sliding glass door within a few steps, staring at the familiar but hauntingly foreign sight of a normal Japanese conbini for much longer than would be reasonable in any other setting. His hesitance was interrupted by the automatic doors sensing his presence and sliding open with a whoosh, starling poor Julius. He looked like a cat with the fur on his back spiked up. A purple cat. Subaru wanted to smile at the image, but his heart was heavy with something unidentifiable.

For the first time in more than a year, Subaru stepped inside the last building he saw before he was Isekai'd.

As he entered, the inside of the store mocked him with the eerie feeling of something that was just slightly off. The shelves, windows, and ceiling lights were in the same position they'd been in for years, but the advertisements were for products Subaru had never heard of, the items stocked were all new or had altered packaging, and the manga by the window were completely different series.

He slowly walked down the aisles, one step at a time, as he headed toward the new gossip-filled tabloids. Picking up a sufficiently trashy one (Top Ten Hotest Single Celebrities! *Famous Actor's* Tragic Break-up With *Other Famous Actor*!), he hesitated before flipping to the page with the publishing date.

He stared at it.

One year and a couple months after he exact day he'd left.

His hand began to shake. Was it a good thing or a bad thing that time moved the same between both worlds? He hadn't missed decades of time on earth, and years weren't passing by in Lugunica with every second he stood here.

Despite knowing this was the best scenario...

Surely anyone would be devastated to now that their parents had been missing their child for more than a year?

Even a child like Subaru had parents who would grieve his disappearance.

Subaru squeezed his eyes shut, turning away form the sunlight shinning through the window as he willed himself not to cry. He wasn't about to break down in front of the purple haired prick standing outside. The stuck-up knight, whisked away to a foreign world, trying to stab cars, drawing his sword at innocent passersby...

Wait, what was the last one?

Subaru looked up again, staring back through the window, as he watched Julius holding his sword and chatting with two average Japanese citizens.

For some reason, Subaru felt himself close to tearing up again as he looked at their normal outfits, their dark hair and eyes, and their cell phones. Surely, the average traits of the Japanese people wouldn't change much in just a year. Wait, shouldn't he be doing something about this situation?

Having confirmed the approximate date, Subaru dashed back outside the convenience store, standing between Julius and the strangers.

The first woman, who looked to be about in her late twenties, smiled at Subaru. Her mild lipstick and modest sweater almost made Subaru start bawling from how normal she was. "Hello! Are you two friends? His cosplay is incredible, even though I'm not familiar with the character. Is there a convention nearby today?"

Thank goodness for cliche misunderstandings! Subaru could easily work with this.

"I'm sorry? I don't understand what you are implying, but I would appreciate it if you could lower your metia and cease obstructing my path."

Stupid, stupid Julius! Stop messing with the standard procession of the cliche! Subaru stepped in quickly. "Sorry about my friend, he likes to stay in character when in costume." He elbowed the purple-haired 'cosplayer' before turning back to the woman and her friend. "We're on our way to a convention right now, and we're gonna be late, so please excuse us!"

With that, Subaru began pushing Julius along the road, distracted by the fact that he'd had his first conversation with a Japanese citizen since he'd talked to Al in Pristella. And did Al really count? Not in this context, he didn't. 

How long had it been since he'd been somewhere 'normal'? No, what did 'normal' even mean for him any more? He already knew how long he'd missed his first 17 years of normal, but now, hadn't 'normal' become hugs with Beako, training with Garfield, dates with Emilia-tan?

Hadn't 'normal' become fighting for his life, fighting to save everyone, fighting to stay alive?

Subaru's head was spinning so much that he almost didn't notice that Julius had stopped and grabbed him by the shoulders.

Hah, what a dramatic, cliche position. Subaru had seen a lot of cliches recently, hadn't he?

His life was one big cliche, after all. He was a useless NEET who was Isekai'd, fell in love with a beautiful elf princess, froze to death, defeated a dangerous monster, became a knight, was eaten alive, conquered a tower, killed, died, dying dying dying-

"Subaru!"

Subaru snapped out of it. He found himself staring at Julius' wide yellow eyes as he gasped for breath. Why was he breathing so hard? He wasn't running, he wasn't in danger, wasn't-

"Subaru, please stay with me. I understand this is a strange situation, but we must remain alert. Look at me, please." Subaru held Julius' eyes, staring at the determined, confused, noble Finest-of-Knights as he struggled to slow his breathing and keep his thoughts on track.

After a few moments, Subaru pieced himself back together enough to become properly embarrassed by the situation.

"Sorry, Julius," He muttered, looking away. Did he really just have a panic attack in front of Julius?! 

"I understand Subaru," Julius stated, continuing to watch Subaru closely. "We are in a strange situation with little information. However, based on your words and behavior, I believe you know more about our current setting than I do. Please, share what you know with me."

Subaru looked Julius in the eyes once more as the man continued holding his shoulders dramatically. What an over-the-top prick.

An over-the-top prick who deserved answers.

Subaru sighed. "Well, it's kinda hard to explain and harder to believe, but I guess we're already in an unbelievable situation right now huh?" He glanced around the street corner they'd stopped at, trying to imagine what the traffic lights, cars, and modern building must look like to someone like Julius. At least when Subaru had been Isekai'd, he'd been prepared for the stereotypes by manga, anime, and video games. 

"I guess I'll just be straightforward, then. This," He held out his arms, gesturing to their surroundings. "Is my home. Right now, we're in a country called 'Japan', an island nation to the far east of the map".

Julius frowned. "But...Lugunica is the easternmost nation in the world. the only thing further east is the Great Waterfall."

Subaru smiled bitterly. "Got it in one. Lugunica is the farthest east nation in... your world."

"Right now... We're beyond the great waterfall. Welcome to earth, you prick."