Chapter Text
oj:
Who keeps changing the group name.
Fess up.
cheesy:
it’s not me this time!!!
knife:
Doesn’t it say who did it
mic:
o yea someone changed that like ages ago lol
i wouldnt bother scrolling
wait that sounds suspicious af
i didnt do it i swear
oj:
No, no, I know.
mic:
what is that supposed to mean
baseball:
What does that even say???
nickel:
looks like how apple would spell it lmao
cheesy:
@Apple
@Apple
@Apple
@Apple
@Apple
@Apple
wait hold on better idea
@Marshmallow
@Marshmallow
@Marshmallow
@Marshmallow
@Marshmallow
@Marshmallow
@Marshmallow
@Marshmallow
@Marshmallow
nickel:
DUDE FUCK OFF
marshmallow:
Albleist cunt.
nickel:
literally HOW
she’s offline again.
cunnnnnnt
knife:
Marsh or cheesy
nickel:
both
knife:
Yeah that tracks
cheesy:
:3
:3
:3
nickel:
shut the fuck up dude.
cheesy:
:(
why are you being mean to me i’m just a baby!!
bomb:
yeah Nickel he’s just a baby
nickel:
did you log on just to back up your twink
mic:
HELP WHAT????
cheesy:
gasp i’m not a twink!!
i’m literally so good with the ladies [proud]
mic:
i know what you are 🫵🏿🫵🏿🫵🏿
cherries:
clocked
cheesy:
why do i keep catching strays 😞😞
@Pickle back me up
pickle:
feeemmboyyy twinky baallllllsss
bomb:
magnificent entry Pickle
cheesy:
truly outstanding performance 👏👏
nickel:
i’m killing myself.
oj:
Please stop saying that…
nickel:
😒
mic:
pickle how much sleep did you get
pickle:
like. none lmao
mic:
yea that tracks
pickle:
do you like the new chat name :)
oj:
Pickle I swear to God
pickle:
whaaaaaaaat
i didn’t ACTUALLY change it
i just helped fan pick something out
fan:
Oh okay is THAT how it is????????
Throw me under the bus??????????
I thought I knew you better Pickle…
baseball:
Do either of you ever sleep??
pickle:
no
why would i
fan:
No my diet consists of 24/7 blue light 😔😔
mic:
#insomniagang
pickle:
#insomniagang
fan:
#insomniagang
knife
#insomniagang
mic:
cmon insomnia gang wheres the team loyalty??
@Blueberry @Lightbulb
knife:
Since when does lightbulb have insomnia?
mic:
adhd
knife:
Oh
lightbulb:
whats up homiessss
#insomniagang
fan:
Haiiiiii Lightbulb haiiiiiiiiiiii
lightbulb:
helloooooooooo :3 :3 :3
cheesy:
:3
lightbulb:
:3
baseball:
So are we changing the group name back or…?
oj:
Yeah, I’m on it.
pickle:
aw c’mon man
let us keep it for another hour at least
oj:
No.
pickle:
booooo oj boooooo
oj is hate crimeing me
booooooooo
everyone boo oj
oj:
Pickle.
cheesy:
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
nickel:
booooooooooo
OJ removed Pickle from the group
cheesy:
WHAT THE HELL MAN
bomb:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OJ YOU KILLED HIM
😭😭😭😭😭😭
cheesy:
FREE MY BOY HE DID NOTHING WRONG‼️‼️‼️‼️
oj:
No.
bomb
you heartless murderer…
i’ll kill myself…
nickel:
lmao
that’s the spirit
oj:
Look what you’ve done…
nickel:
what i’ve done?
you’re the one who removed pickle
oj:
Not what I meant…
knife:
Poor bastard is dead
Never thought he would go this way
lightbulb:
poor guy
lets hold a funeral
bomb:
yes!!
we do it for Pickle
oj:
Please don’t start…
mic:
wait i wanna see how this goes down
fan:
I’ll prepare a eulogy!!
cheesy:
what??? no!!!
you’re not even his friend…
fake pickle fan smh 😒
fan:
DOES INSOMNIA GANG MEAN NOTHING TO YOU
lightbulb:
as funeral director i say you can do it
bomb:
yusssssss
i had the perfect speech
knife:
Can i be the guy to bury the body
Wait no
I’ll do the playlist
I know exactly what pickle would want to be buried to
lightbulb:
yes ofc!!!
ok before we start who wants to be honour killed and buried with pickle
oj:
What…
lightbulb:
well
the ancient romans
bomb:
ME
cheesy:
MEMEMEMEMEMEME
knife:
Lmao sure why not
fan:
Wow, looks like noone’s coming out of this funeral alive!!!
cheesy:
on god we all dying for pickle 🙏🙏
bomb:
so true
mic:
seems like a fun funeral
a funeral
…
cheesy:
save the jokes to me
mic:
fine 😒
lightbulb:
well only one of you can be buried with pickle
and it has to be the best one
so you have to fight to the death
the losers die and dont get buried with pickle
winner also dies but with the satisfaction of killing his homies and also being buried with his other homies
fan:
You make it sound VERY homoerotic
bomb:
it’s not gay if you have socks on!!
fan:
I’m not wearing socks!!!!!!!!!!!
cheesy:
looks like you’re getting married in the afterlife
fan:
NOOOOO
Wait actually I don’t think I’d mind that
mic:
LMAO THE SWITCH UP??????
cheesy:
good for you!
bomb:
i’m being the bridesmaid
and also the best man
knife:
I’m wearing tights does that count
bomb:
no
knife:
Shit
cheesy:
TRIPLE WEDDING
mic:
love wins 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
lightbulb:
omga can i ofdiciate
oficiat
officiate????
yep
fan:
Well you officiated the funeral so why not?
Pastor Lightbulb canon
lightbulb:
PUT IT INNNN
mic:
whos wearing the dress
bomb:
ME
knife:
Bomb you’re not getting married
bomb:
darn!
still me tho
cheesy:
is that allowed??
lightbulb:
as the officator i say yes
bomb:
YIPPEE
cheesy:
hell yeah slay 💅
fan:
If Bomb is wearing the bride’s dress as a bridesmaid can I wear a bridesmaid dress?
White isn’t my colour
knife:
CanNOT relate
I look dead sexy in white
lightbulb:
fan its your wedding you do you king
fan:
I trust you on this…
But if Bomb’s wearing a white dress you should wear black to differentiate
knife:
True
I would eat that up
mic:
dude add some red flowers as decor and youd be totally hot
knife:
I’m the goth bride
cheesy:
this is so camp
lightbulb:
alright guys before i marry you off you have to decide what pickle will wear
knife:
Hey can we maybe get him back first??
lightbulb:
oh true
bomb:
can’t have a wedding without the groom
fan:
Erm lesbian wedding erasure???
bomb:
oh no
i’m sorry lesbians 😞😭😭😔😔😔
knife:
Yeah whatever
cheesy:
oohhhhhjayyyyyyyyy~ @OJ
oj:
Man, come on…
Is this really how you’re asking me to get Pickle back??
A wedding??
cheesy:
yes
why?
knife:
Look at oj
Fuckin fun hater
fan:
I can’t beleive it… OJ??? Of all people???? Hate fun??????
mic:
oj catchin strays today
personally i would not stand for that
oj:
Oh my God. Fine. I’ll give you Pickle back.
OJ added Pickle to the group
oj:
Happy now?
cheesy:
LET’S GO
bomb:
Pickle!!!!!!! :D
love always wins
lightbulb:
so true
pickle:
oh sweet i’m back
what’s the haps peeps
knife:
Wedding
lightbulb:
YOUR wedding
pickle:
oh sweet
cheesy:
LET’S FUHREAKING GO WE’RE DOING THIS
hold on we need a piano player for the wedding march
mic?
mic:
i dont know how 2 play the piano sorry :/
cheesy:
darn…
lightbulb:
i think i know a guy!
@Dough
dough:
Oh hey
lightbulb:
hi dough
cheesy:
PLAY PIANO FOR US NOW 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵
dough:
Sure lol
bomb:
hell yeahhhhh
pickle:
wow this is happening really fast
lightbulb:
ok pickle you have to skidaddle real quick the brides will wait for you at the altar
pickle:
i’m gay
lightbulb:
the grides
mic:
LMAO
bomb:
nice save 👍
lightbulb:
thanks :3
fan:
Knife…
knife:
What is it
fan:
*Looks up at you with sad, wet eyes* Do I look pretty in this dress? 🥺🥺
knife:
I mean
I guess
fan:
That’s all I needed to hear 🥹🥹🥹
knife:
You’re welcome
nickel:
this is so fucking funny
you guys are all so stupid
fan:
I take offense to that!!!!
cheesy:
ruuuude
bomb:
don’t talk to Fan that way!!!
knife:
Yeah don’t talk to my gride that way
nickel:
omfg
lightbulb:
i knew the name would stick!
anywhoozles
its time gamers. time to bring in the guests
cheesy:
dw i got this
@Apple @Balloon @Baseball @Blueberry @Bot @Bow @Box @Cabby @Candle @Cherries @Clover @Floor @Goo @Lifering @Marshmallow @OJ @Paintbrush @Paper @Pepper @Salt @Silver @Soap @Suitcase @Taco @Test Tube @Tissues @Trophy @Yinyang
there we go
trophy:
OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP
box:
wtf
pepper:
Whats going on???
Oh sweet a wedding
Cute!!
silver:
I beg to differ…
Scrolling upwards. You animals have no sense of decor.
paintbrush:
I’m convinced none of you have lives
fan:
CHEESY WHY WOULD YOU INVITE TACO TO THE WEDDING?????????
THAT’S A LITTLE INSENSITIVE
cheesy:
i like drama
trophy:
CHEESY
STOP BLOWING UP MY FUCKING PHONE YOU LITTLE SHIT STAIN
knife:
Just silence your phone??
trophy:
KILL YOURSELF
cheesy:
that’s no way to talk to the gride!
trophy:
SHUT THE FUCK UP KILL YOURSELF
nickel:
what a great debatist
mic:
this is beautiful
apple:
OO WEDFIMG CAM I BE V FLOR GURL?????????
lightbulb:
hi apple!! :D
of course
apple:
YAYYYYY
lightbulb:
alright guests settle down
cabby:
Is this roleplay?
In 2025?
bomb:
no actually this is a real wedding
fan:
Yes!!
cabby:
Wow…
Nature is healing.
fan:
Indeed it is my well informed friend 😌
lightbulb:
guests im gonna need you all to sit down
cabby:
That’s… kinda… all I can do.
lightbulb:
well done!
you came prepared
youre very good at this
cabby:
…what?
goo:
question
what if i can’t sit down???
lightbulb:
huh
i didnt think of that
silver:
You didn't think of many things, apparently.
Where are the decorations?
The flowers?
The rings?
The food?
The music?
lightbulb:
hey!! we have dough for music!!
silver:
Good music.
bow:
H4H
dough:
People these dayz have no appreciation for real music… 😒
silver:
Maybe if you had invited me into the planning committee things wouldn’t be so disorganised!
lightbulb:
ok ill consider that next wedding!
silver:
Thank you.
paintbrush:
You? Organise something?
Be real.
silver:
I’m good at organising!
paintbrush:
I’ve worked with you on enough English projects to know that’s not true
silver:
I do not appreciate that comment!
pickle:
guys can we quit stalling i wanna throw cake at my grides
fan:
REALLY
Is THAT all you’re marrying me for????
bomb:
aw Fan!! he didn’t mean that!!
fan:
HARUMPH
knife:
Look let’s just get on with it
lightbulb:
okie dokie
is everyone seated?
mic:
like half the people cheesy tagged arent online rn
cheesy:
they’re just haters 😒
lightbulb:
oh well
weve still got a lot of guests!
and i can see oj hovering…
bomb:
oooooooh!!
cheesy:
fake idgafer
oj:
I’m not actually invested in this wedding!
I’m just here to moderate.
Make sure things don’t go out of control.
nickel:
you’re a bit late for that!
lightbulb:
its ok oj if you want to get married next ill do it
cheesy:
CLOCKED
oj:
If this wedding was real I would be out cold from drinking too much champagne.
You people are so tiring…
lightbulb:
heehee
anywhoozles
it is time to begin the ceremony
dough
HIT IT
dough:
Of course
*Playz piano*
Wait actually i’ll get my piano out
bow:
D0NT U D4R3
D0N4T0 D0UGH P4N3TT13R3 1 W1LL 3ND U
apple:
oo il git reel flurz ten!!!!!!! :D
dough:
[Voice Note: Dough playing the wedding march]
fan:
The dediCATION!
You’ve earned my respect, Dough.
silver:
Shhh!
cabby:
Silver, you’re shushing the Gride.
silver:
…I knew that!
pepper:
(Theyre not caught up on the lore)
silver:
S-SHUT UP!
apple:
frow flirs un sliver
lightbulb:
dearly beloved
wait is that funeral talk
mic:
i think so?
idk ive never been to a wedding
cabby:
Just keep going, it’s okay.
lightbulb:
okie dokie
cheesy:
this is so fucking awesome
lightbulb:
we are gathered here today to marry off three lovely people
aka da “fan” flatface fang pritam “pickle” owo and niall “knife” cutter
wait pause
whos taking whos surname
pickle:
hm
knife:
Does it matter?
fan:
PLEASE ANYTHING BUT MINE I DON’T WANNA BE FLATFACE ANYMORE
pickle:
flatface it is
lightbulb:
alrighty :3
anyways
do you pickle take fan and knife as your lawfully wedded
uh
grives?
pickle:
of course
bomb:
psst
it’s i do
wait i’m the bridesmaid i don’t help you
lightbulb:
its fine i allow it
pickle:
uh
i do
lightbulb:
and do you fan and knife take pickle as your lawfully wedded husband
fan:
YES
YES
A THOUSAND TIMES YES!
mic:
so dramatic!
go off
knife:
I mean
Wouldn’t be here if not
I do
lightbulb:
lovely and wonderful
you may now kiss eachother
pickle:
erm
cheesy:
don’t worry… i got this 😈
[Voice Note: Cheesy making aggressive making out sounds]
nickel:
MY EARS!???????
cheesy:
i’ve been practicing [proud]
lightbulb:
i now pronouns you
pronounce
HUSBAND GRIFE AND OTHER GRIFE
goo:
this is
BEAUTIFUL
fan:
I can’t beleive this is real 🥹
cheesy:
EVERYONE APPLAUD THE NEWLYWEDS
👏👏👏👏👏👏
mic:
👏👏👏👏
nickel:
no.
bomb:
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
lightbulb:
👏👏👏👏👏👏
pepper:
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
This was beautiful 🥺🥺💕💖
cabby:
👏👏👏
goo:
YIPPEEEEEEE
👏👏👏
apple:
🙏🙏👏👏👏🙏
silver:
[Video Attachment: A video of silver clapping]
paintbrush:
👏?
I have no idea why I decided to sit through this
Silver are you genuinely honest to god clapping over this fake wedding.
silver:
What can I say? I’m a passionate role player.
Anyways, I’d quite like to move on to the tossing of the bouquet.
paintbrush:
Are you intending on getting fake married??
goo:
silver and paintbrush are getting married?????
paintbrush:
NO
cabby:
That should depend on who catches the bouquet.
Speaking of, how will we decide on who catches the bouquet?
Whoever replies the fastest?
apple:
can i frow the buqay sins im th flewr girl???
silver:
No, that’s the Bride’s job, Apple.
cheesy:
*gride
bomb:
*gride
cheesy:
JYNX
bomb:
aw man :(
fan:
Don’t worry, I got this!
Wheel of names.
Knife, you throw while I spin!
knife:
Sure
Hold on
*throws*
fan:
[Image Attachment: Screenshot from Wheel of Names. The wheel has landed on Lightbulb.]
The wheel has spoken!
pepper:
Awh
Lucky!
lightbulb:
oh yay! :D
wait im the officiated who will host my wedding????
silver:
I suppose I could give it a shot…
lightbulb:
yay thanks!
fan:
So, lucky catcher, who do you plan to marry?? :3
lightbulb:
ohhh you already know
fan:
Haha just teasing :P
mic:
soooo
what now
goo:
CAKE!!!!
pickle:
o yeah right
*throws the cake into audience*