Work Text:
The remake of the Wicked Garden music video was nothing short of sensational and a widely anticipated hit amongst the fans of Red Pearl Jam.
Mu Qing was in bed with Feng Xin, cuddling under a luxurious black duvet, watching the video play on MTV. It was the uncensored version which showed the faces of euphoric peak as Mu Qing softly fucked Feng Xin near some meadow near the cemetery. Xie Lian was skillfull enough to capture the sexual act non explicitly, although he came close to showing Mu Qing penetrating Feng Xin. The scene panned out to where Mu Qing finished deep inside of him, Feng Xin spread out before him, lying on a pile of leaves.
He couldn’t help but heartily laugh “you’re really convincing people that that’s my body double you fucked on the grass?”
Mu Qing lightly flicked him on the forehead “hey, it’s my alibi and I’m sticking to it,” and then he grabbed his chin and he stuck his tongue in Feng Xin’s mouth, “and I love the fact that your fucking sex face is on T shirts now.”
Feng Xin turned bright red even in his spectral form “you WHAT?! You’re lying. Tell me you’re lying!”
Xie Lian opened Mu Qing’s bedroom door and he made himself comfortable at the corner of his bed, wearing a black shirt which read “Red Pearl Jam: Wicked Garden Tour 95-96.” And on the image of that shirt was the infamous still of Mu Qing and Feng Xin both reaching peak of their lovemaking on the cemetery meadow, with dead roses around the still.
Xie Lian smiled gently at Feng Xin “imagine becoming a sex symbol in the afterlife ☺️”
Feng Xin scoffed “if I wasn’t already dead you guys would be the death of me.”
Hua Cheng walked in and suggested they all go out for some pho for dinner. Qi Rong and Pei Ming were out partying with groupies and probably going to catch their thousandth STD of the year. Hua Cheng asked Feng Xin if ghosts could still eat. He shrugged his shoulders in response. “I mean I’m in solidified form from the energy of your music.”
Over some delicious pho tai, Hua Cheng discussed that now that tour dates were announced for the United States, and that Ling Wen wanted to meet with the entire band tomorrow to discuss where they’d go, the road crews, and they were probably going to use tour buses instead of airplanes. They would begin soon, the first show commencing on the 4th of July, appropriate since they had a song with the same title. It was May 30th, 1995. They had over a month to prepare.
The meeting with Ling Wen in the morning was held at the studio. Mu Qing told Feng Xin to stay home since, his ghost form would probably frighten the shit out of Ling Wen. Pei Ming suspected, only because of Chinese folklore that humans became gods after death and sometimes descended to the mortal realm to help. Qi Rong didn’t know what to make of it. He had never been religious or superstitious growing up, only superfluous and ostentatious his whole life.
Feng Xin was curious to know how the band meeting was going to go. And most of all, he didn’t wanna miss out on their tour!! 9 months without seeing Mu Qing and to wait for him in LA would be torture!!
He ascended into heaven, into a palace he’d been assigned to called the Palace of Nan Yang, which he’d been told he’d be taking over one day.
He perused the gardens, where the ground was made of crystal, and the flowerbeds were sculpted out of hematite, each filled with vibrant blooms of marigolds, chrysanthemums, sunflowers, yellow poppies and yellow roses.
The cool air of heaven made so that he had to wear layers of clothing, a white under robe; a black and gold silk robe over that, a red half jacket, held in place with some leather skirt belt, and expensive black and gold-tipped boots. It was clothing that initially made him feel like a monk but he quickly became accustomed to how weightless the silk felt on his soft, tan skin and his smooth , almost hairless, mile-long legs.
The wafting scent of marigolds captured his attention to go to their flowerbeds and pick some for his hair, as he enjoyed the warmth of the sun soaking into his skin. A young deputy in turquoise robes and braided black hair saw him and greeted him. “Young deputy Nan Yang! Nice to meet you! My name is Lu Anle. We haven’t seen you in a while. You’ve been in the mortal realm?”
Feng Xin smiled at Lu Anle and replied “I’ve a lot of work to still do there. You know my love he is still alive down there. But I’m back because, he’s about to travel. And I want to go with him. But not everyone knows I can come back as a ghost. And even if they knew, I can’t stay solidified forever.”
Lu Anle, with his cheerful voice told him “you haven’t heard that if you want to actually stay that way for longer, all you need to do is create a vessel identity?”
Feng Xin raised a brow “a what?!”
“A disguise essentially. Contrary to what they tell you, you retain your solid human form for longer because the shell is protecting your soul body. And it’s an extension of you anyway! See, look at this!” Before Feng Xin’s eyes, Lu Anle transformed into a smaller and younger version of himself with a different hair tone.
“How did you do that?!l Feng Xin asked him.
“Just literally imagine yourself as such!!”
Feng Xin imagined a teenage version of himself but with black hair. He closed his eyes to concentrate and to actually feel himself in this younger, smaller body, until his chakras began pulsing, sending waves of heat through his body, and a light wave spread from his solar plexus to his head and feet; and all his limbs. When he opened his eyes again, he felt that his robes fit him so loosely now he was swimming in them! And his caramel hair which was now in a ponytail, was jet black.
“Good job! See? It wasn’t too bad! Are you keeping your name? For your situation you should change it.”
“Hmm,” Feng Xin contemplated…”Nan Feng!”
The meeting:
“We are going to start off the tour in Los Angeles, on the Sunset Strip bars, for the first two weeks, and then we will go to San Diego, Joshua Tree, then up to Oakland, Napa Valley,
Portland, Seattle, Tacoma. Alaska is up in the air right now. And then from there we will travel to Salt Lake City, to Zion, Denver, Boulder, Taos, Santa Fe, Albuquerque, Las Cruces, Flagstaff, Sedona, Phoenix, Tucson, El Paso, Laredo, Brownsville, San Antonio, Houston, Waco, Dallas, Texarkana, and the New Orleans. We will pause for two weeks after New Orleans,” Ling Wen discussed the band’s tour route.
“I’ve never had a girl from Texas before! I wonder what I should say to them! Howdy Ho Ho!” Pei Ming excitedly interjected.
“Now keep in mind you guys will be on the road so much you’re going to be too tired for extracurricular activities,” Ling Wen said.
“No, when Feng Xin was still alive, I got some baddies from Albuquerque!” Qi Rong said.
“Feng Xin isn’t dead,” Mu Qing cut him off coldly; looking like he was about to snap his guitar he had strapped, in half. The whole band and Ling Wen all stopped to look at him awkwardly. “I mean…I mean in our hearts….he’s still alive,” he stuttered.
“Of course,” Ling Wen agreed for the sake of keeping the peace. Once the meeting was over, and the first venue place was decided on, at the Troubadour, the band decided to go to a cafe for some pizza and beer. Mu Qing remained sulking, with his guitar, the gold glitter Stratocaster he named Feng Xin II, strapped to his back, as the band walked side by side down the alley to the nearest pizza joint. Qi Rong, in some green shirt dress and black leggings nudged Mu Qing,
“Why do you get so touchy about Feng Xin, hmm?”
Mu Qing rolled his eyes “can you for once in your life just shut the fuck up?”
Qi Rong said “we need to get you laid, homie.”
Mu Qing flushed a furious shade of red and quickly retorted,
“I don’t want some random nasty pussy. I…I’m picky!”
Qi Rong kept on though.
“You are? I mean besides Feng Xin…who else have you fucked? You have to have fucked SOMEONE since he passed, you can’t be that hot and that aloof.”
Hua Cheng said “damn he just called you hot!”
Mu Qing was on the spot which made him stutter more. Surely he was very attractive; at 6’2” and about 170, pale skin, long black hair and delicate features. He looked like a fallen seraphim, and in the recent 1995 polls in teenage girl magazines, he was rated the hottest member of the band, with Xie Lian coming in second.
“You know what; I’m a gentleman. I don’t kiss and tell unlike you loudmouthed assholes,” Mu Qing deflected the situation, by lying about it.
The truth was; Mu Qing had only attempted sex with one girl in senior year of high school, and it was so bad that he didn’t want to remember it. He didn’t even penetrate the girl, so he didn’t count it. He was naked and lying above her, but he came from rutting. He was so embarrassed he drove off! Many years after that, it was Feng Xin, and he thought they’d be together forever.
“You know what I’m gonna fuck your mom next, Qi Rong. So you’ll be my fucking stepson. Maybe you’ll shut up then,” Mu Qing said nonchalantly, causing the band to roll into stomach-aching laughter, even Qi Rong who was shocked to hear something this bold from Mu Qing’s mouth.
“I mean that slut will fuck anything for money!”
The band entered the pizza parlor and sat down at a table, all of them savoring the dough and basil scented air that made their mouths water. They all agree on a meat lovers and two pitchers of beer, except vegan Xie Lian who ordered a garden white slice and a salad. Mu Qing sat next to Xie Lian and traced his fingers into the flower pattern of his button down he wore with loose bell bottom slacks. He had cut his bangs recently so they framed his face, even since people kept saying how he resembled and dressed like Grace Slick. He embraced and ran with it now.
“Still vegan huh?” Mu Qing asked him.
“Vegetarian. I still love dairy and ice cream,” Xie Lian smiled.
Their food arrived and they ate their first meal of the day voraciously, savoring all of the flavors and washing it down with the house hard cider. The boys stayed out while Mu Qing went home alone. He wanted to spend some time with Feng Xin, whether sex or just watching a movie; whatever he wanted to do. He walked into the band house and marched up to his room, expecting to see Feng Xin’s specter on his bed. He was kind of puzzled that he wasn’t there like he usually was.
“Feng Xin?” Mu Qing called for him. Poof!
He appeared before him in his heavenly vestment, sitting cross legged and looking down innocent, the lighting from the afternoon sun illuminated his sharp features.
“Where did you go?” Mu Qing asked him, setting his guitar into the stand that contained several others.
“I had to go back to heaven to just see how things were. I um..I know you guys are going on tour. I..I don’t know if I’ll be able to go with you,” Feng Xin sighed. Mu Qing pushed his bangs out of his face and tucked them behind his ear.
“A-Xin. I was bringing you anyway. Remember you’re a body double, at least to some people.”
“Qing-er, I can’t keep up the facade forever. Someone is gonna find out.”
“I mean if the rest of the band besides Xie Lian and Hua Cheng do, who cares?? It’s not like our tales of our ascending and afterlife’s aren’t true. You are the proof.”
“I don’t wanna be in your way, Mu Qing.”
Mu Qing cupped his hand over Feng Xin’s mouth, feeling the cool skin under his fingertips.
“Silence! We’re going to figure it out; and you better never ever suggest again that you’re in my way.”
The 4th of July.
Back when Feng Xin was alive, for their second album, they wrote a song called 4th of July before they went to tour America after Ling Wen had told them they’d be possibly headed that way. Feng Xin wrote the lyrics in late 1991 and then it was on their second album “Wicked Garden” which their most famous song of the same name was also in included. Mu Qing composed several other tracks after his death, the most notable ones being Black Hole Sun and Down in a Hole.
The band had a set list prepared a week before their first concert on the 4th of July at the Troubadour on the Sunset Strip. The setlist was:
4th of July
Evenflow
Alive
Black Hole Sun
Dead n Bloated
Sex Type Thing
The Day I Tried to Live
Vasoline
Black
Crackerman
Down in a Hole
Cover of “White Rabbit”
And a not so secret encore of Wicked Garden
Mu Qing had been warming up his fingers all day by doing sliding exercises on his guitar he’d be taking onstage, Feng Xin II, and he also ensured he had gotten new Ernie Ball strings for it the day before. He had purchased a new Marshall Drivemaster pedal and about 1000 custom guitar picks to throw at people from the stage.
He’d also been warming up his fingers by practicing in Feng Xin earlier the day of the concert, both of them exploring each other’s bodies until of course, Mu Qing still ended up on top and plowed him so good and hard, Feng Xin had to go back to heaven to regain his energy, sent back with blushing cheeks, swollen lips and all fucked out. The guys were already out at the studio and Mu Qing meet them for early dinner at a bar. The Troubadour had good spaghetti and he’d get that later.
Before Mu Qing dismissed himself from Feng Xin, after they were cleaned up, he kissed his lips once again, and asked him if he’d see him after the show. Feng Xin was rapidly losing his warmth from the energy that pleasantly drained from his body during sex, as well as his solid form. It didn’t stop Mu Qing from showering him with affection every chance he could.
“Maybe. Who knows. I may surprise you.”
Mu Qing softly tugged the hairs on the back of Feng Xin’s neck, to tip his head back and gain access to that beautiful neck, waiting for another love bite. Mu Qing pressed his open mouth to it and sucked hard, causing Feng Xin to release a soft, breathy moan, his other hand up his robe, cupping a thick, muscular ass cheek.
“You better fucking come back,” his hot breath hissed into Feng Xin’s ear, in a playful threat that caused him to shiver.
“I will babe. But a surprise though,” Feng Xin whispered, as Mu Qing’s passionate groping of him subsided into tenderness.
“Good luck at your show. I love you. I know you’ll do good!” Feng Xin uplifted him, his amber eyes sparkling with love and optimism before he disappeared in a flash of light.
Mu Qing was left behind with his golden hair ribbon, which he tied around his head like an 80s headband, which was a pop of color to his otherwise black tank top, loose black jeans, slip on Chelsea boots, and a black leather jacket in case it got cold, which it probably would with California’s Mediterranean climate. He packed his guitar, extra strings, about 30 guitar picks, and his pedalboard into his small red Mercedes Benz and he sped off to the Sunset Strip around 4, so they could be concert ready by 7. He reached the Troubadour and was able to park in the back with his band member parking pass, and as soon as he parked, some people with badges that read “stage crew” appeared by his car to help him unload it. It wasn’t that much stuff and he insisted he was fine, so he did it himself in one trip.
Xie Lian and Hua Cheng were sitting at the bar; with some drinks and appetizers. Mu Qing was craving the spaghetti here, so he got that with just plain water. He didn’t want to be intoxicated during their first show to kick off their tour. He noticed Xie Lian and Hua Cheng dressed in red white and blue when it dawned on him what day it was.
“Oh fuck. Today is America’s Independence Day and I fucking forgot,” he facepalmed himself. Xie Lian smiled and told him not to worry, pulling out a pack of sticker stars and then placing a red, white and blue star on Mu Qing’s forehead so he now looked like an alien.
More people began to come into the venue to grab a bite also some of them had VIP passes. About five PM, and Qi Rong and Pei Ming showed up, decked out in festive sequins and a little bit toasted. Pei Ming threw his arms around the men at the bar and said
“Ho Ho! What the fuck is up sluts!!”
Mu Qing swallowed a hot forkful of delicious, freshly made spaghetti, unable to talk for the moment, too busy savoring his food. Pei Minh took a seat and got wings; while Qi Rong ordered a cup of fries. His interesting outfit of choice was a blue sequined dress with fishnets. Mu Qing raised a brow at him and said “you could pass as the Statute of Liberty.”
“The Statue, dumbass. Not the Statute. Statute is when you’re 18 and you fuck a 17,” Qi Rong said crudely.
“No you stupid, thats statutory rape!” Hua Cheng corrected Qi Rong.
“Ew cringe,” Xie Lian said as he sipped his little Shirley Temple.
They finished dinner and then went backstage for some VIP meet n greets before the show began, and sound checks. Mu Qing was signing albums and handing out guitar picks, as well as posing for photos, but directing the scantily clad and boob flashing groupies towards Pei Ming. There were many eager fans practically cutting each other in line to get to the front.
A young man in leather jacket that Mu Qing had noticed from a distance, because of his necklace of golden butterflies; had been waiting quietly and patiently, clutching a vinyl in his arms as if he were guarding it with his life. He had made it to the front of the line and was about to step forward for an autograph, when a group of rowdy men shoved him out of the way and cut into the line. Mu Qing became infuriated at this act of rudeness and at the top of his lungs he yelled “SECURITY!!”
The security team for the concert showed up in seconds flat and formed a human barricade between the fans and the band. Mu Qing said “no it’s not the fans. Those three guys shoved the guy in the leather jacket with the butterflies. Throw them out!” The security detail promptly grabbed the three men and ripped their VIP passes off their necks, reminding them that one of the rules of the Troubadour was no violence. It wasn’t the 80s anymore. Mu Qing motioned the young man to step forward, the young man seeming less nervous but stop moving with trepidation towards the famous guitarist of Red Pearl Jam.
Mu Qing shook his hand, looking warmly into his eyes, some beautiful, cinnamon colored eyes, and he asked the young man what his name was. He had a cute Chinese accent like Mu Qing did.
“Oh my name is a Nan Feng!”
“Nan Feng? I like that. Another fellow Chinese! I’m going to tell security to put you in the front, ok?” Nan Feng’s face lit up when Mu Qing, the Mu Qing of his favorite band, did him this special favor.
When the band got onstage, the crowd inside the teeming venue roared into cheers, shouting the band’s name as their shadows appeared behind the thick clouds produced from a smoke machine in colors of red and blue. Mu Qing felt the cold steam in his face, making everything in front of him invisible, but the electricity in the air was something he could feel palpitating in his soul. He strung the chords to their opening song, and Pei Ming began on the vocals to “4th of July.” Once the smoke settles, Mu Qing’s eyes scanned the crowd right below the stage. Many hands making the heavy metal fist were up, singing their lyrics in unison. That young man Nan Feng was moved to the very front of the stage to Mu Qing’s side, and when Mu Qing noticed him, he waved at him with a subtle smile across his thin lips.
Then proceeded the crowd starter, Evenflow, which got everyone in the Troubadour jumping with wild, raw energy as the power of the song seeped into bones. Mu Qing and Xie Lian moved around on stage and were riling up the audience to pump their fists and shout out loud! Several people in the back had began crowd surfing and mild chaos unfolded with the distant shattering of beer bottles and the strong acrid smell of cigarette smoke filling the air. During his guitar solo, Mu Qing began throwing his first set of guitar picks to fans and he especially made sure that Nan Feng got one, brushing his fingertips with his.
A random girl in the crowd said to Nan Feng,” wow, every girl dreams of Mu Qing wanting her! You’re so lucky!”
Nan Feng shrugged “I think he’s a nice person really.”
The rest of their first kickoff show at the Troubadour was nothing short of explosively spectacular with a grand finale of “Wicked Garden” as their encore, with Pei Ming doing some exaggerated moaning which the female fans became so obsessed with. Once the show was over, the band stayed for more autographs and drinks. The crowd for the first show of the tour was a great turnout, but they stayed lingering and enjoying the after party here. Hua Cheng and Xie Lian were buying shots for people while Qi Rong and Pei Ming were already scouting the crowd for a girl to possibly take home. Mu Qing made sure to catch up to Nan Feng, whom he saw leave the venue through the side doors after the show.
Mu Qing still had his guitar strapped to him and chased Nan Feng a block down, because damn he walked fast, yelling to him to come back. Nan Feng spun around and was surprised to see the very guitarist he admired so much actually follow him, of all people, out the door! Nan Feng smiled brightly from ear to ear, with a star struck shimmer in his eyes.
“Mu Qing? The very one himself? You were so nice to me. Thank you. I should buy you a drink for what you did but there was so many people in there.”
“I know. And let me actually buy you a drink!”
They ended up at a quieter local dive bar which was smaller, dimly lit and with two pool tables. Here, they didn’t have to talk over each other at all, and Mu Qing could observe Nan Feng a little closer. The thing he did for him back at the Troubadour was out of kindness, but something about Nan Feng had been tugging at Mu Qing’s heartstrings very gently the entire night. He was of a tall, slender build, with wild black hair in a ponytail and fiery brown eyes full of warmth and a hint of wild determination. He was pretty. But there was something more enigmatic about him that felt so comforting, like Mu Qing could be himself without worry. Almost like how Feng Xin made him feel. Oh no!! Feng Xin! Mu Qing couldn’t fully invest himself into this new pretty stranger, not when he had Feng Xin’s memory he desperately clung onto as if he were on the precipice leading into lava.
Mu Qing looked to his watch and also remembered he left his fucking car at the Troubadour. He told Nan Feng that he had to head out but that he’d surely hope to see him again, and that he’d catch up more with him again! He walked back to the bar and barely managed to pull out of the lot without running anyone over because the streets were full of people from the after party now bleeding into the streets. He drove home, to an empty house and then ran upstairs to his Feng Xin. He was asleep in bed and when Mu Qing wrapped his arms around him from behind, he basked in Feng Xin’s warmth. The energy of music must’ve helped him. As soon as his head hit the pillow, he fell asleep, with only a silent exchange of comforting love spoken between the two. No pretty face could come between them.
The next day was their next show at the Whiskey A Go Go, but in the morning however, Mu Qing awoke to an empty bed and a handwritten note from Feng Xin that read:
Good morning my love. I had to respond and attend to some heavenly matters. I’m uncertain of their duration but I will not be too far from you ever, as you are in possession of my heart, though heaven may have my soul. I love you, -Xin.
Mu Qing began to worry about Feng Xin and wondered when he’d come back. He’d been acting strange ever since he knew of the band starting their tour. Hopefully Feng Xin didnt think that Mu Qing would ever betray him or forget about him. He would rather stick his hand in a grinder and lose his ability to play guitar, and that was his worst nightmare! He was a little mopey during the show at the Whiskey a Go Go but maintained a poker face and the same muscle memory for his melodies which he ripped on his guitar, his mind in autopilot. He had a reputation for being enigmatic and frigid so this wasn’t anything knew.
But then in the distance, at the bar, he saw that young man again, having himself a drink and making his way through the crowd until he was at a balcony overlooking the stage, where he could see Mu Qing playing from below. In his Nan Feng form, Feng Xin was much warmer but he did get tipsy a little faster. Once the show ended, Mu Qing made his way to him up here and invited him for more drinks. Mu Qing couldn’t shake the polarizing effect that Nan Feng had on him. It didn’t help that today he skipped wearing his jacket and only wore a black sleeveless band tea of Red Pearl Jam with the Wicked Garden soft porn photo emblazoned on it.
“Nice shirt,” Mu Qing complimented him with harmless sarcasm and a hint of blush in his face.
Nan Feng had mesmerizing eyes, warm like cinnamon, and the more Mu Qing stared into them that he realized what it was. Nan Feng had features very similar to Feng Xin’s, and especially the fire in his eyes. Mu Qing shoved this thought far back into his delicate little mind, and led Nan Feng down to the bar for another round of drinks.
Mu Qing asked him if he lived nearby. Feng Xin had to make up a lie right away even if it was a bad one.
“I…I live in San Diego,” he made up the lie on the spot, “just right off the PCH.”
Mu Qing cocked his head sideways and his lips also opened sideways in amusement. How much had Nan Feng drank?
“Nan Feng…S…San Diego?? That’s 150 miles away! A little further than just the PCH!” Mu Qing laughed, sipping a Long Island he ordered.
“Are you stay in an hotel or something then I’m assuming? Because that’s a lot of gas and dedication to drive to see us every night!”
“Um…m. Yes. Hotel. But I had to check out today so I will just catch a ride back!” Nan Feng kept lying.
Mu Qing clicked his teeth, “you silly. Are you heading back to San Diego tonight then?”
Nan Feng sipped his drink “yeah, yeah,” he said casually.
“Well, how are you even heading back? The train station?”
“Uh…yeah!” Nan Feng scratched his head nervously.
Mu Qing gently grabbed Nan Feng’s wrist, which caused him to flinch slightly when those warm, slender fingers encircled around him. Mu Qing was so gentle in his touch, standing before him, always so beautiful and serenely composed. His gentleness alone was enough to convince Nan Feng into his car for a late night drive.
Feng Xin had to feign very well that he didn’t know the familiarity of being in Mu Qing’s red Mercedes, the smell of leather and the cleanliness he maintained it with. There was one of those pine trees air fresheners hanging from the mirror, and Nan Feng instinctively touched it to get the tactile stimming out of his system. He noticed a photo of Feng Xin, himself, clipped to Mu Qing’s visor, of where he was with his hair down, somewhere in Santa Fe.
Mu Qing drove fast but meticulously until the pacific coast was visible and then the car turned to get into the Pacific Coast Highway, the car gliding down the mostly empty road, hugging each curve. He liked to drive fast when there wasn’t many people around but he also scanned the road for cops every now and then. He stopped where there was a small dirt road leading up to cliffs that overlooked the moonlit ocean and he parked his car here.
Nan Feng looked to the photo of Feng Xin and asked Mu Qing “he meant so much to you, didnt he?”
Mu Qing felt himself tearing up, something he didn’t do often, except in front of Feng Xin. Wiping a tear away, he said,
“I miss him every day. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about him. You know, some people may think it’s crazy, but I swear, I have full blown conversations with his ghost. Sometimes it feels so much that Feng Xin never died. Sometimes I see him. And he speaks to me. But also there are times I think that my insanity and grief have crazed me so much that it’s all a twisted figment of my imagination,” Mu Qing confessed.
Nan Feng stroked his arm “hey…Mu Qing. I..I understand. And I don’t think it makes you crazy at all. It’s just a living testament to how much you continue to love him. But no. You’re not crazy for it. I…I admire how much you love Feng Xin. I wish…I wish I had a love so powerful.”
Mu Qing lifted his gaze to Nan Feng, watching as the younger man looked outside his passenger window.
“What do you mean? You…someone like you hasn’t experienced such a thing?”
“What do you mean someone like me, Mu Qing?” Nan Feng softly whispered. Mu Qing blushed, caught off guard and realizing what he said only after he said it.
“L..let’s go outside to look at the stars,” Mu Qing dodged the question.
The men stepped outside the car and both sat on the hood of the red Mercedes, the warmth of the stilled engine beneath it, seeping up from the side vents. Mu Qing looked longingly past the moonlit horizon over the rippling waves of the Pacific Ocean, the breeze gently tousling his bangs sideways. Nan Feng had his arms crossed and told him,
“Mu Qing, you never answered my question. What do you mean if someone like me never experienced such a thing.” Ok. On the spot again. Mu Qing faced Nan Feng and gazed him up and down slowly, from his head to his feet, and then back up.
Somehow, under the moonlight, Nan Feng’s appearance seemed to flash glimpses of Feng Xin even more, especially in his eyes. He had a similar build to him, tall, and thin but muscular, though Nan Feng was more sinewy from youth. He was a beauty, almost as enchanting as Feng Xin had been. Mu Qing finally broke the thick silence between them and approached him.
“You want me to tell you? I..I find it hard to believe when you said you had never experienced love. Because you are so kind. And also, you’re a man of such profound beauty. You know why you caught my attention? You look like him. You remind me so much of Feng Xin. I used to think there was no one that could rival him, but here you are, looking like his distant replica. Do you know what that does to my logic?” Mu Qing said, leaning in closer to Nan Feng.
He was small in comparison to Mu Qing who was slender himself. Nan Feng didnt push him away but his heart palpitated with anticipation. Mu Qing leaned against Nan Feng, so he was sitting on the hood, as Mu Qing looped an arm around his waist and bent down to give a closed-mouthed kiss to Nan Feng’s lips. The youth kissed him back and he looped his arms around Mu Qing’s neck to pull him down onto himself, pinned down to the hood of the car beneath him. Nan Feng whimpered as Mu Qing slipped his tongue into his mouth, savoring the taste of his youthful sweetness. Mu Qing pulled away, staring into Nan Feng’s eyes, lashes fluttering slowly, unveiling the opalescent fire blazing in them. For a split second he thought it was Feng Xin come back to life, since they had the same eyes.
“You’re so much like him. I almost feel bad because I don’t want you to think I’m only with you for that reason” Mu Qing lamented, while still holding Nan Feng’s slender frame in his arms.
“Mu Qing. You don’t need to feel bad. If being with me will help you heal, then go for it. I..I want you, Mu Qing. And I’d be so honored in helping you relieve your pain if you’d so let me. In any way I may serve you,” Nan Feng cooed.
“You shouldn’t have said that…” Mu Qing said, his grip around Nan Feng tightening, holding him up against his chest, and crashing his lips more roughly onto his. Mu Qing felt his pants tightening as he formed an erection. Something hard was poking his belly and he realized Nan Feng was hard too. Mu Qing had no lube in his car.
“Get in the car,” he told Nan Feng. Mu Qing started his car and then they sped to his house so fast they made it there in half the time it took to get here. Thankfully no one was here and they were out partying still.
They had barely made it through the threshold when Mu Qing pushed Nan Feng against the wall, aggressively making out with him until his lips were swollen. When Nan Feng felt his legs giving out, Mu Qing picked him up bridal style and carried him upstairs. He delicately placed him on the bed as if he was a most precious treasure, as he undressed before Nan Feng. Mu Qing then came over, fully naked, his body long and lean, ever so beautiful, with only a small patch of black hairs above his fully springed cock.
He spread Nan Feng open and helped him out of his jeans and shirt, and then peeled off his underwear, until he was fully nude and exposed before a very hungry Mu Qing. He was enraptured with Nan Feng’s wild, delicate beauty, unbridled strength and grace that was going to make Mu Qing’s sense of restraint seek abandon deep inside him. Mu Qing took his wrists and pinned them above his head, as he kissed Nan Feng’s neck, the bright, tan skin bruising easily, pierced by Mu Qing’s fangs. He moaned lowly when he felt the sting of his own breaking skin. Mu Qing ran his hands down his thin thighs, and up his warm, bare and bony hips, relishing in the feeling of his small, soft body under his hands.
Mu Qing whispered in Nan Feng’s ear “is this your first time?”
“Mmm-hmm,” Nan Feng hummed, his cheeks a beautiful shade of crimson as his body was still a bit tense from Mu Qing slowly taking him apart.
“I’ll do this very slowly to you,” Mu Qing assured him, reaching into his nightstand for a bottle of lube. He popped the cap open and squeezed some gel onto his fingertips, to warm it up. He then gently pushed Nan Feng’s legs apart, to reveal his entrance, a soft pink ring of muscle that he slowly pushed a slender finger into. Nan Feng let out a soft gasp, shutting his eyes as the sensation of the finger in him arrested his senses. Mu Qing noticed that Nan Feng enjoyed it, from the way he pushed his hips against Mu Qing’s hand. Mu Qing gently tugged Nan Feng’s cock, which was smaller and thinner than his was, maybe totaling six inches in length, surrounded by a faint shadow of thin, sparse hairs over smooth, tender, virgin skin.
Mu Qing inserted another finger once he felt that Nan Feng was relaxed, and leaned over to kiss his inner thighs, running his hand down his hairless legs and gently squeezing in the way down. He sucked a gentle love bite onto his flesh, making Nan Feng moan again, and then inserted a third finger into him when he felt he could take another. Nan Feng silently wept as he looked at Mu Qing through tear-soaked lashes, softly biting his lip to quell his moans.
Mu Qing noticed him crying and he asked him what was wrong.
Nan Feng whispered “Mu Qing, I want to feel you inside. I..,”
“Yes?” Mu Qing asked him. “What do you need me to do, Nan Feng?”
“I need your…d..dick to be inside me. I want you to take me now.”
“Oh, ok” Mu Qing smiled softly, feigning ignorance.
He slicked up his cock with a few more drops of lube and aligned himself to Nan Feng’s hole, perching his body over him. He closed his eyes as his lips searched for Nan Feng’s, feeling the ring of muscle slowly stretch open on his tip as he slowly pushed into him. Nan Feng let out a surprised gasp as he felt himself stretched open by Mu Qing, his slender frame so full of his dick, just the penetration alone could’ve broken him. Nan Feng was a new level of tightness that Mu Qing was sure would make him cum fast, seeing the shape of his dick protruding from Nan Feng’s tummy.
Nan Feng trembled in his arms, as this was all too much, but the more he wildly shook about and felt Mu Qing slide against a bundle of nerves inside of him, the better it all felt. Mu Qing asked him if he was okay and if it hurt at all.
“No. It feels…really good. Please keep going,”Nan Feng sobbed.
Mu Qing slipped a hand underneath Nan Feng’s delicate waist and he tenderly peppered his slim neck and collarbone with kisses as he tenderly thrust into him, as if Nan Feng was made of fragile crystal.
“Oh my god, you’re so tight!” Mu Qing complimented him.
Nan Feng was so small and painfully beautiful, the way his eyes fluttered shut as his mind was overtaken by earth-transcending euphoria. The bedroom lighting danced along his sharp features when he threw his head back, exposing his sharp, angular jawline and the tendons of his neck, begging to be marked again. Such a youthful beauty possessed Mu Qing with a primal madness of wanting to ravish and claim him from the inside out.
In this lighting, once more, with his eyes shut, Nan Feng bore an uncanny resemblance to a young Feng Xin, excepting his glossy, raven hair that Mu Qing lightly tugged on. Mu Qing folded his legs in half, and seized Nan Feng’s wrists, as he began to fuck Nan Feng even deeper, but still at this slow pace of burning passion. He bent down to suck Nan Feng’s nipples of his small but muscular pecs, sending electric waves down Nan Feng’s spine. He saw stars as his nerves tingled here, as well as the continuous assault to his prostate that Mu Qing had found.
Mu Qing reached his hand below to begin pumping Nan Feng’s cock, causing him to writhe and stutter a few moaned curses. Those slender fingers gripped his shaft in such a way, even better than the work he did on himself. His belly was already soaked with precum, but in a few more pumps, and Nan Feng’s body went into a seizure as he felt his own cum shooting out of himself and onto Mu Qing’s hand. With Nan Feng’s legs resting on Mu Qing’s shoulders, he admired how undone Nan Feng looked right now, eyes rolled into the back of his head, swollen lips parted open, as he moaned out his orgasm, and some droplets stained his tanned, thin body white. Mu Qing licked the cum pooled in his hand and smiled, biting his lip as he felt Nan Feng’s body gripping his dick fiercely.
Mu Qing leaned back down, spreading Nan Feng’s legs with his forearms, and continued thrusting into him, a little more harshly now.
“Mmm…even your cum tastes like his. You taste so sweet, Nan Feng. Here, taste yourself,” Mu Qing whispered, pushing his tongue down Nan Feng’s throat, his chest heaving out underneath the weight of Mu Qing as he tasted the remnants of his spend on Mu Qing’s swirling tongue. Mu Qing caressed Nan Feng’s throat, as he began to make rough love to him, so their skin slapped against each other’s. Overtaken by Nan Feng’s delicate but wild beauty, so much almost like Feng Xin’s, Mu Qing couldn’t hold it in anymore.
He moaned more loudly and higher pitched, deeply kissing Nan Feng who was lightly digging his nails into his back. Nan Feng’s legs were going numb but all of this was overwhelmingly good. Mu Qing closes his eyes for the final thrust, imagining it was his Feng Xin, alive underneath him once more.
“Oh Feng Xin!! Feng Xin!!” Mu Qing let out a choked sob, as he spilled deeply into Nan Feng’s insides, Nan Feng moaning in pleasure as he felt himself inseminated.
Once repose set in, Feng Xin’s caramel hair slowly replaced Nan Feng’s black strands, and his bones and ligaments elongated to where he was back to his original shape and height. When Mu Qing opened his eyes, he gasped and blinked a few times, wondering if what had just happened was real. He was still inside of Feng Xin, when he perched up to see if it was really him, taking note of the longer legs, slight bulkiness, and the gold ribbon in his messy bun.
“F-Feng Xin? It was you this whole time?” Mu Qing inquired him, softly stroking his sharp cheekbone.
“It sure was. You didn’t catch on?”
“I mean, you had the same eyes and both said the same dumbass things. Like ‘I live in San Diego which is just right off the PCH’” 😂
Feng Xin chuckled “haha! You’re referring to your deceased lover as a dumbass now? Oh…the lack of respect!”
Mu Qing pinched his cheeks, “you stupid. But how and why did you do that?”
Feng Xin combed Mu Qing’s hair out of his face “well. I know you guys are going on tour and I was scared of the band’s reaction to see me. So I came up with using a vessel as disguise. Plus it allows me to retain my warmth and human qualities. I won’t look so much like a ghost.”
Mu Qing raised his thin brows, “hmm, I see. I liked Nan Feng. Not as much as I like you though.”
He kissed Feng Xin’s lashes and then he carried him to the bathroom so they could clean up, ever being a gentleman. Feng Xin was still warm from the residuals of his disguise. Mu Qing wrapped him in blankets and then went downstairs to get two cranberry juices and some of Feng Xin’s favorite snacks he kept stocked, some of them being apple slices and caramel. And rice seaweed crackers. He was headed back upstairs just in time as Xie Lian and Hua Cheng burst through the door.
“Heeeeeyy!! I saw you talking to that Nan Feng guy! Is that who the snacks are for?” Hua Cheng teased.
“Shut up you dipshit. You know I only have eyes for Feng Xin.” Mu Qing cursed him.
“Didn’t Nan Feng kind of look like Feng Xin a bit?” Xie Lian commented innocently.
Mu Qing ran up the stairs faster, but carefully so he didn’t drop Feng Xin’s snacks.
“Maybe he’s becoming a master of disguise. Who knows? Tee-hee!” Hua Cheng giggles as Mu Qing furiously slammed his bedroom door.
Feng Xin shifted up to sit in bed as Mu Qing hopped in there with him. They watched TV for a bit, going over how “Nan Feng” was going on tour with them now.
Up in heaven…
“It can be carefully done, and I know because I do it all the time,” Ling Wen told Lu Anle, who commended him on showing Feng Xin how to create disguises.
“So you return to the mortal realm quite often then if you’re posing as the band’s tour manager,” Lu Anle said, crossing his arms as Ling Wen sipped her tea.
“Someone has to ensure Deputy Nan Yang’s wellbeing as we slowly re-integrate the other five. They’ve forgotten who they were when they all died at the hands of Emperor JunWu over 800 years ago, which did lead up to Jun Wu’s defeat after the Crown Prince Xie Lian stabbed him, but not without sustaining fatal injuries himself. But the Heaven Official’s Blessing has always belonged to them. They’re all fated for it. Nan Yang’s doing his job by his presence in the mortal realm alone.”
“The young man named Feng Xin? That was the mighty General Nan Yang of the folklore?”
“Indeed. Once the other five are brought here, they will all be ranked up to their former glory.”
“Wouldn’t that require a death?! How soon would they get here?”
“Maybe. But who knows. They all ascended in the past alive. As far as their arrival, I can’t say. But the energy of Nan Yang in the mortal realm is higher than it’s been. Meaning that his energies are multiplying here enough so that he doesn’t have to remain here for days on end, Ling Wen explained.
“But I must depart to join him there. He’s still never seen my presence here and I must ensure he won’t suspect. But, at least the band is doubly blessed and they don’t even know it. Nor does Nan Yang know he’s blessing them. Especially Xuan Zhen. Mu Qing.”
Ling Wen looked back to Lu Anle before she jumped down the cliffs of heaven into the mortal realm.
“May the Heaven Official’s Blessing follow you wherever you shall go!”
“And may all taboos be shattered.”
Los Angeles
Back on the Pacific Coast Highway, in broad daylight, Mu Qing was trying to teach Feng Xin in his Nan Feng form how to drive, but Feng Xin was so scared he couldn’t even take the car out of parking mode. Thankfully they were on a small pullout road leading to the cliffs, so there was no traffic here.
“Fuck no im not doing it! What if I drive over the cliff and now we’re both ghosts?” Feng Xin crossed his arms.
Mu Qing laughed heartily
“Oh my dumb love. Thats why you have a brakes for! And I’d be a ghost with you. But. I’m hungry and you can’t even take the car out of park. We’ve been here almost an hour.”
Mu Qing gently took the keys from Feng Xin’s trembling hands and took back the driver’s seat.
“You’re absolutely hopeless, Feng Xin. But I’ll still gladly drive you everywhere.” Mu Qing smiled, a bit exasperated but also full of abundant joy just to have him beside him. They took off for lunch, while Feng Xin hummed a tune he made up in his head.
He thought of having to return to heaven for some training Lu Anle had signed him up for. He was going to do archery in heaven. He didn’t even know such things could occur up there. But before having to go back, he wanted to enjoy the Sunday afternoon with Mu Qing. He hummed the tune repeatedly so Mu Qing caught onto it. That night he had to go back to heaven for his archery class the next day.
But he appeared to Mu Qing in his dreams, singing the lyrics he wrote up in heaven, so by the time he woke up, he was on his guitar writing the riffs and lyrics for a new song.
Feng Xin returned that evening from heaven, his arms sore from training on a longbow that Lu Anle gave to him. It was a 2,000 year old bow called FengShen that was said to have belonged to a mighty general a long time ago. Feng Xin saw Mu Qing’s desk littered with scribbled lyrics on loose leaf paper and he read them. He smiled when he noticed his dream successfully transmuted to Mu Qing.
“I wrote a new song. I..I had a dream of you and well…I got inspired!”
“Oh? What’s your new song gonna be called?” Feng Xin asked him innocently.
“Hmm…I was thinking…Interstate Love Song. About you as Nan Feng, trying to ‘get back to San Diego’” Mu Qing flexed his fingers in quotations to poke fun at Feng Xin.
“Hmm…I like it!”
The next day they’d be taking off for the same city, beginning the traveling portion of their tour. The five men of Red Pearl Jam plus Nan Feng hopped onboard their tour bus, full of excitement and ready to hit the road! Ling Wen was sitting in the lounge with a glass of wine, happy to see that they all made it. She raised a brow to Nan Feng, who was clinging onto Mu Qing’s arm.
“Mu Qing, who’s that handsome arm candy on you?”
“Oh!! This..this is Nan Feng! I..Hope he won’t be a problem.”
“Oh not at all. Hmm, he kind of looks like Feng Xin a bit. You have a type, Mu Qing,” Ling Wen winked. Feng Xin tried to hide behind Mu Qing.
“I could even argue that he sort of could be some sort of..twin. I don’t know. Even…a deputy.”
“Umm..Miss Ling Wen??” Nan Feng paused.
“Ah..he’s knows my name though I haven’t told him yet. How..otherworldly,” she teased.