Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Silence.

It was one of those rare, tranquil nights where the whole world seemed to be at peace. The dark sky was illuminated by millions of tiny diamonds. And truth be told, Jimin would have loved to spend the evening stargazing if it wasn’t for the whirlpool of anger and frustration he was desperate to dissipate.

“So, do you want to start talking,” A sudden voice taut with irritation echoed through the cold night, “Or should I?”

Jimin tore his gaze from the floor to meet the eyes of a certain dark-haired male leaning against the door frame. The one who he loved with all his heart could offer, the one who he hoped felt the same for him.

Jeon Jungkook.

The room was dark, but the dim ray of light through the window was sufficient for Jimin to see the contorted expression the younger had plastered on. It was such a shame he couldn’t kiss the frown away from Jungkook, given the supposing cold war they were having.

The moment Jimin’s sight landed on the maknae of BTS, he realised just how far they’ve come from the day they first met. The days passed were so great in number that he had long lost count. But every time he saw Jungkook’s smile, it was as if time reverted back to the very beginning and Jimin found himself smiling too. It’s funny how they were both so much younger, so much more vibrant and filled with life then.

And now, they were both falling apart.

“What’s there to say?” Jimin whispered as he unconsciously tightened his balled fists.

Jungkook surveyed his fellow band mate before him, trying to figure out just why they both felt like strangers now. Excelling in many aspects earned him the title as the "Golden Maknae", but understanding other's emotions wasn't exactly his forte and it frustrated him. Because though he may never admit it, he too wants to be closer and more affectionate with Jimin. 

Jungkook gave a soft sigh before taking small steps forward, “Explaining why you’ve flat out ignored me for a month would be great.”

“I did not.”

“You did.”

Jimin lets out a dry, humourless laugh. “And what exactly makes you say so?”

There was a pause and seconds ticked by before a  response was heard.

“Maybe because I stopped feeling your love, Jimin.”

Jungkook came to a halt a few feet away from the older male, closing the distance between them. But it wasn’t enough for Jimin. Jungkook would never be as close as Jimin longed for him to be, no matter how many miracles he had prayed for.

“I’m tired, Jungkook.” Jimin closed his eyes, and savoured the bitter taste of the younger’s name which was once sweet. “I don’t think I can continue doing this any longer.”

How long were they going to continue  with this game of tug and release?

Jimin was weary, but Jungkook on the other hand, could not hide the shock which so evidently stained his beautiful features.

“What are you talking about?” His voice strained through gritted teeth.

It had been a demanding day for Jungkook at practice, and receiving a harsh lecture from the manager only added to his fatigue. To top it all off, his hyung did not make much sense to him at the moment. Somehow he had hoped Jimin would be there to hug him, to rub his back in comforting motions and shower him with affection like always.

Instead, Jimin chose to avoid any sort of physical confrontation with him, only sending Taehyung to bring Jungkook a box of his favourite doughnuts. What was supposed to comfort Jungkook only made him more pissed, as Jimin’s act reminded him that they weren’t on speaking terms for reasons yet to be known.

“I’m tired of chasing you around.” Jimin stared at the taller male before him with an unwavering gaze, which made Jungkook forget how to breathe.

Jimin wanted to be strong, but his quivering lips weren’t of much help.

“Im tired of having to pretend I’m alright when I’m not.” He continued before Jungkook could find an opportunity to interrupt.

“I’m tired of laughing when your actions hurt me.”

Jimin recalled the way Jungkook’s obvious rejections made his heart clench, before he remembered that the cameras were rolling and a fake smile does the job of hiding the pain.

“I’m tired of having you reminding me that I am not good enough.”

Jimin hated the way Jungkook ranked him 7^th in looks. Though he knew the younger was merely joking, it would be a lie to say it didn’t bother him. After all, the one person he wished would think of him as the most attractive feels the complete opposite.

Upon hearing all this, Jungkook finds himself utterly speechless and dumbfounded. He felt his mouth gap wide, but no words were formed and he desperately racked his brain for the right ones. The silence between them reminded him of how terrible he was with words. For Jimin, it reminded him of all the tears he shed in pain alone.

“H-hyung,” Slowly, almost hesitantly, Jungkook resorted to reaching forward to touch the frail, broken pieces of Jimin.

Jimin would have given in and buried himself in the younger male’s embrace, if the burning ache in his heart wasn’t there to prevent him from doing so. He didn't want to end up with even more pain. With a heavy heart, he stepped backwards and avoided Jungkook’s touch for the first time in his life.

Because above all, silence was the one thing Park Jimin hated the most.

“I’m tired of not being happy.”

Ignoring the near desperate pleads Jungkook was silently screaming with his eyes, Jimin mustered every last bit of strength and courage left, to slowly utter the words he never thought he would come to say.

“And I’m tired of loving you.”

[ TO BE CONTINUED ]

Chapter Text

Melancholy.

The remnants of love evanesced with every step he took walking away. 

The change was hardly apparent, but anyone observant enough would realise that Jimin and Jungkook were definitely behaving in an odd manner. There was this unseen barrier between the duo that rendered Jimin walking in the opposite direction just to ignore the latter.

“Jimin-shi, the maknae lover,” the interviewer cooed with a cheeky grin, “Tell us, are you still crazily in love with Jungkook-shi?”

According to Jimin’s fairly thought through plan, severing ties with Jungkook was going to make things right. It was going to set him free, free from all the misery of an unrequited love.

A small smile made Jimin’s lips curve slightly.

For the first time, he found it purposeful to wake up in the morning, to sing loudly while enjoying a hot shower, to laugh at silly jokes, and to be the one who makes silly jokes.

“I just have a soft spot for our Jungkook, that’s all.” Jimin gave a curt laugh while shaking his head, “After all, he is the youngest.”

It did not trigger much suspicion at first sight, but soon a mere glance at the maknae’s grim expression whenever he stole glances at Jimin was sufficient for the other members to catch on. And finally, after a little while longer, the appalling situation finally dawned on everyone.

Park Jimin stopped proclaiming his love for Jeon Jungkook.

But despite the “freedom” earned, there was still this tiny, yet infuriatingly-difficult-to-ignore throb in Jimin’s heart whenever he tried to disregard Jungkook. Though he did everything to convince himself to maintain strong will, it was no doubt an arduous journey forgetting someone he once offered love to.

Park Jimin came to the conclusion that he may be too kind, and nearing the point of absolute stupidity for Jeon Jungkook.

..........

“So, do I add the lemon before the honey,” Jimin scratched his chin as he stared at the yellow fruit before him. “Or does the honey come first?”

Taehyung eyed Jimin lazily from the couch he was tugged comfortably in, ready to watch his daily dose of anime, and found his best friend still debating the same question for the past hour.

“This doesn’t make sense, Jimin.” He couldn’t help but let a sigh escape, “I thought you were finally moving on.”

“What do you mean?” The orange-haired male feigned innocence while trying to focus on slicing the lemon in precise measurements.

Taehyung wanted nothing more than to slam his own face into the wall to ease the frustration. Somehow the fact that both Jungkook and Jimin were his closest friends made him feel guilty, as he didn’t know how to help them. He did consider locking them both in a closet, and would have done just that if Jin hadn’t threatened to stop cooking dinner for him.

“You’re brewing tea for the person you’re moving forward from.” Taehyung quirked his brow, “Doesn’t that seem a little I don’t know…weird to you?”

“He’s having a sore throat.” Jimin sighed. “I’m just concerned about a fellow band mate not being able to perform. There’s nothing special to it.”

“And you are absolutely certain about that?”

“Yes. Yes I am.”

“Couldn’t you just let Jin-hyung take care of him?”

“Well, he’s busy supervising Namjoon-hyung clean the toilets. Unless you wish to perform the chore instead,” Jimin shivered at the thought of a dirty toilet, “I’d advise you to steer clear.”

“Then why not Hobi-hyung?” Taehyung asked, mouth agape with incredulity. “He’s so restless, he texted me that he’s attempting to eat ten bowls of Kimchi.”

“I don’t know.” Jimin grunted as he kept his hands busy with the task before him. “But I do know I would do the same for you.”

They both fell silent then, and the rhythmic sound of Jimin’s knife in contact with the wooden chopping board resonated across the room.

“If it makes you feel better, Jungkook is utterly miserable now.” Taehyung enunciated every word slowly.

It was barely audible, but enough to have made Jimin cease all motion abruptly and shoot him a sad look, before setting the knife down gently on the counter. The slight guilt of blurting without thought made Taehyung bit his lower lip.

“Tae,” Jimin breathed in defeat, voice laced with obvious fatigue. “I’m trying. Okay? I just-”

It was painful for Taehyung to watch Jimin looked so worn out, with his shoulders slouched and eyes void of the joy it used to emit.

“-just need some more time.”

Taehyung had never loved someone as passionately as Jimin did. But he wasn’t going to lie, looking at his best friend now made him scared.

It’s scary how love leaves one so vulnerable.

“I know I’m pathetic,” Jimin turned to the face Taehyung and gave him a small, forced smile. “But I can’t stop caring immediately. Despite everything, he is still important to me.”

In his heart, Taehyung sometimes wished they were back to their rookie days. Everything seemed much simpler, everyone definitely much happier. And Taehyung loved being surrounded by laughter very much.

Jimin cringed a little when a sad frown made Taehyung’s face sullen.

“Tae, I’m sorry.” Jimin whispered.

In a swift motion and few long strides, Taehyung stomped over to where Jimin stood to engulf him in a tight embrace. The sudden act made Jimin stumbled backwards a little, but the warmth was definitely welcomed.

“I don’t know how to make things better,” Taehyung sighed, “But just remember I’m on your side. And if I can make you happy, I will always be with you.”

Though Taehyung wasn’t the best in the department of comforting others, the hearty laugh escaping Jimin’s lips told him that it was sufficient, and it made him smile too.

“You’re such a sappy person,” Jimin teased.

“To be honest, I’m equally surprised myself.” Taehyung giggled.

The shorter male buried himself a little deeper into Taehyung’s chest. “Thank you, Tae. I’m really glad to have you.”

“Hey,” Tightening their hug with one hand, Taehyung ruffled Jimin’s hair in affection with the other, making the latter frown from having his hair messed.

“It’s us against the world right?” Taehyung had a gummy grin so wide that his eyes disappeared beneath the smile wrinkles. “Just like old times.”

The memories of two young teenagers casually leaning against the railing, laughing, nudging each other’s shoulders and vowing to conquer the world, flashed before Jimin like a film on replay.

It was such a reminiscent feeling looking at the same person before him who has changed so much after all these years. But Jimin supposed there were also some things that will remain untouched by time.

Kim Taehyung was still and forever his precious friend.

  "Just like old times." Jimin grinned.

[ TO BE CONTINUED ]

Chapter Text

Regrets.

He never told; he never knew.

Jungkook had always pondered on the definition of love.

Of course he was aware that it made one feel happy, sad, excited, miserable, angry, – a wave of mixed emotions. The years spent in school and constantly being surrounded by couples had taught him that much at least.                                                                                                                                                                    

Yet the notion of loving someone flawed ardently without expecting reciprocation, offering everything to the point of losing discernment was incomprehensible to him. Love seemed very much like an act that only led to grave repercussions.

Maybe that was the reason why he’d always brush Jimin’s obvious feelings off with a laugh or joke; disregarded it as an unnecessary baggage and commitment he’d rather not make until he was older and ready.

But truth was, he just didn’t understand.

To love like a complete fool, to love like Jimin does - Jungkook doesn’t know how to.

The loathsome four-lettered word only made Jungkook flustered without end, but it didn’t seem to bother Jimin who so eagerly expresses love. He thus came to the conclusion that these feelings were not to his liking.

“Jimin sticks to me for some reason,” Jungkook teased in front of the cameras, “It annoys me sometimes.”

Maybe he was too oblivious to the looks of dejection, too ignorant to notice the forged laughter and too inconsiderate in his jokes. Yet the last thing he intended was to hurt one of the most important people in his life. It was a thought that never crossed his mind at all.

The one who brought joy, who taught him how to appreciate the little wonders, who showed him all the good a simple smile can bring, the greatest gift ever bestowed to his ordinary life – Jimin.

Their first meeting started with Jimin being overly excited in bombarding the shy maknae with series of questions, and Jungkook giving curt and awkward replies. It didn’t seem that he was ever going to open up and share equal affection for the older male.

But against all odds - much to everyone’s surprise and even his own - Jungkook started to unconsciously stare and grin at Jimin whenever the chance surfaced. There was something special about the older male that attracted his attention. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was.

It could be Jimin’s melodious voice, or the way his eyes creased when a wide grin accentuates his beautiful features, or the passion he radiates when dancing. Unfortunately, Jungkook would probably never find the courage to admit it out loud to Jimin, nor would the other members of BTS ever stop teasing if he did.

Jungkook wished he did though.

He yearned for the warmth of their hugs, the little whispers of conversations in the silence of the night, the exchange of glances unnoticed to others, the brief brushing of hands as they walk, the comfort of having lean against one another.

Jungkook wasn’t sure if he loves Jimin. But he did gain comprehension of one matter as he counted the steps Jimin took walking away.

Jungkook finally understood how excruciating and lonely losing someone was.

……….

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Jin’s voice was filled to the brim with worry as he inspected the maknae lying in bed, “You don’t look too well.”

Jungkook struggled finding his voice to reply, “Yeah. It’s just a sore throat.”

“I’ll bring you something to eat as soon as I’m done getting Namjoon to clean the damn toilets.” Jin tucked him in gently, “He’s not going to procrastinate for another month.”

“Good luck, hyung.” Jungkook croaked and grinned slyly, “Tell him I sent my deepest condolences.”

Jin gave him a smile and pat on the head before leaving to search for his captive - Namjoon.

In the absence of other members, Jungkook’s bedroom was as silent as the still night, with only his steady breathing and the ticking of the clock heard. He closed his eyes and let loose a deep sigh, wondering what they were doing to celebrate their day off that occurred once in a blue moon.

More importantly, he wondered what Jimin was doing.

Whenever he was unwell, Jimin would always be the very first people rushing to his side and cared for him; though it seems that the circumstances have changed ever since their last confrontation. He couldn’t help but wonder if the older male had any traces of lingering concern for him at all.

‘Jimin.’

Jungkook felt his lids grew heavier as he gradually drifted off, wishing that at the very least Jimin would smile at him again in his dreams.

……….

“Jungkook,” a soft voice made him stir in his sleep, “Hey, wake up.”

The comfortable bed and glaring lights made it rather difficult for Jungkook to escape from slumber. He peered through closed eyes in attempt to make out the blurry figure before him. And for a moment, he swore he saw Jimin grinning at him brightly just like old times.

“J-Jimin?” Jungkook’s voice was hoarse and nearly an octave lower than usual.

“Nope,” Upon hearing the voice a little clearer this time, it was disappointing to realise it did not belong to the person he was dying to see.

“It’s the one and only Taehyung.”

With great effort, Jungkook managed to sit upright and found Taehyung comfortably lounging on a chair by his bed, a mug containing unknown contents in hand.

“You look as terrible as you sound,” the cheeky male stated amusingly like a proud detective, which couldn’t help but annoy Jungkook.

“What do you want, hyung?” He rolled his eyes in hope that Taehyung would get the message and leave him alone. “Go bother someone else, please.”

Instead of obliging, Taehyung ignored the younger’s exasperated tone and grinned broadly, before shoving the mug into Jungkook’s face. The motion was so rapid that it would’ve hit him in the nose and left an ugly bruise if he hadn’t recoiled.

“Here, drink this.” Taehyung urged in excitement, earning a look of wary from the younger. “You’ll feel better. I promise.”

Kim Taehyung was known to enjoy improvising recipes based on whatever he could find in the kitchen, and it scared Jungkook very much due to past experiences as a test subject.

Logical reasoning told him to refuse as politely as possible, but he relented as soon as he saw Taehyung’s eager expression. With great reluctance and a little fear, Jungkook reached out for the mug and inched it closer to his mouth for a sip.

Carefully, Taehyung observed him with a grin still plastered on, “Well?”

It took a second for Jungkook to register the taste, and he couldn’t stop the cringe that followed. At the speed of light, he shoved the mug back to Taehyung and clamped his mouth tight to prevent himself from spitting the contents out. Jin would never stop nagging if the sheets got stained with whatever awful beverage he was attempting to swallow.

“Hyung, why is it so sour?! It tastes horrible.”

Taehyung took a quick whiff at the yellowish liquid, “You sure? Smells pretty good to me.”

“I don’t like it.” Jungkook shook his head in disgust. “Did you put a dozen lemons in or something?”

“Well, too bad it’s not to your liking then Mr. Hard-to-satisfy,” Taehyung gave a dramatic sigh, “Guess I’ll have to tell Jimin his efforts were wasted.”

The older male placed great emphasis on Jimin’s name, making sure the maknae heard it loud and clear. It was rather entertaining to watch Jungkook’s face lit up in an instant just by the mention of Jimin, and Taehyung couldn’t suppress a chuckle when he rushed to snatch the mug back.

“On second thought,” Jungkook cleared his throat in attempt to fake nonchalance, “I think I’ll drink it. It’s bad to be wasteful after all.”

Jungkook knew the fact that his friend let slip such an important matter was no accident, and for that he was grateful. Slouching in his chair, Taehyung sat in silence and watched Jungkook - who was absolutely determined to savour every last drop and let none go to waste.

The latter had a serene smile plastered on. It was as if the acidic sourness of the tea (due to Jimin ignoring Taehyung’s advice against dumping three whole lemons into the pot), as well as his sore throat didn’t bother him anymore.

“Feeling better?” Taehyung asked.

Jungkook merely nodded in affirmation, still busy enjoying the warm tea that Jimin carefully brewed. His heart was feeling giddy at the thought of Jimin not hating him to the point of no return. There was still a little hope left for him to cling onto.

“All of us are aware both of you fought.” Taehyung spoke slowly, which resulted in Jungkook’s gaze dropping to his lap once the memories of their conversation that night resurfaced.

'And I'm tired of loving you.'

“But you know, Jimin really isn’t that hard to understand.”

The statement sparked Jungkook’s interest and the frozen gears in his mind started to rotate. He knew Taehyung probably understood Jimin better than anyone. Maybe he could assist in directing Jungkook - who was completely lost - to the right path.

“He’s too kind.” The older male continued once Jungkook turned to face him with an earnest gaze, “And he loves too hard. But you can’t blame him for that, Jungkook. It’s who he is.”

“I know,” Jungkook nodded solemnly.

A sigh unconsciously eluded from Taehyung’s lips. “Then you should also consider that sometimes he needs reassurance. Like a compliment, a pat on the back, a hug or something. It won’t hurt to be a little more affectionate.”

“What do you mean, hyung?” Jungkook felt his brows furrowed and voice laced with a tinge of anger. “I do compliment him.”

“A compliment and a teasing tone don’t usually go well together,” Taehyung clarified patiently, “It’s difficult to distinguish both of them sometimes.”

Jungkook fell silent.

He was absolutely bewildered at the fact that people doubted his sincerity towards Jimin. Sure Jungkook wasn’t the best in expressing himself (which was a flaw even he himself knew), but couldn’t everyone see he was trying?

The bottled anger and frustration threatened to spill as he recalled all the moments he mildly expressed his fondness for Jimin. Was he really that bad, or were people just blind?

“It’s obvious you love Jimin.” Taehyung stated blankly before pointing at the cup Jungkook was holding, “And evidently Jimin still feels the same. Well, at least a little. You shou-”

“Wait.” Jungkook’s dark orbs widened as he snapped awake from his trance of thoughts. “What did you say?”

Jeon Jungkook loves Park Jimin?

“I’m in love with…Jimin?” Jungkook whispered in disbelief, “Me?”

Taehyung wanted to slap his own forehead. It was amazing how dull-witted his friend really was in reality, and still people decide to call Taehyung an alien instead.

“I can’t answer that for you,” Taehyung sighed. “Ultimately it’s something you need to decide on your own.”

The little question marks floating around Jungkook’s head made him dizzy as he contemplated the insane idea. Minutes passed and still his mouth hung loose, silently forming an ‘O’ shape.

To be honest, looking at the beads of sweat gradually forming on the maknae’s temples did make Taehyung feel a little sympathetic. He was worried Jungkook might forget to breathe and pass out.

Taehyung resorted to placing a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. And the warmth did help calm the flustered kid down just a bit.

“Look,” Taehyung’s voice was light, “Whatever happened has happened. What’s important is that you have to figure out your own feelings; or Jimin’s going to move on. And I know he’s strong enough to find a way and be happy without you.”

“Jimin is my best friend. So please don’t hurt him anymore.” Taehyung pleaded in desperation, “And I don’t want to see you like this either. Okay?”

Lacking the strength to conjure a proper reply, Jungkook only managed a small nod as he pondered hard; dangerously on the verge of having a mental breakdown. A surge of thoughts in addition to his unwell state was extremely suffocating.

It was scary.

And Jungkook was afraid he might never find the right answers.

Chapter Text

Crossroads.

He chose a painful new beginning over a pitiful end.

One problem with moving on from a significant someone – and there were many other problems – is that there is a need to constantly remind yourself to be “happy” without said person, or at least pretend until it actually feels real. And one might just find himself struggling to not give up.

Park Jimin was a fine example. But against all odds, he was making progress.

The individual who once claimed his heart - Jeon Jungkook - was gradually returning the pieces of Jimin’s heart back to him. Somehow, the more Jimin hid and distracted himself from all matters related to the maknae, avoiding any unnecessary confrontation and keeping their conversations to the minimum, the more he found the lost fragments of himself again.

No more cringing upon hearing his name, desperately seeking his attention, sleepless nights in bed thinking of what could be, tracing the lines of his smile in thin air like a fool, looking at him as if only he existed, laughing at his silly attempts of jokes and planting quick pecks on his cheek when he was sound asleep.

Jimin’s love for Jungkook was beginning to turn into nothing more than a torn, blurred, faded picture that would soon be impossible for him to even reminisce on. He did hate the fact that they were slowly becoming strangers again. After all the twists and turns, the laughter and the tears, they found themselves standing at the beginning again.

But Jimin supposed all good things must come to an end eventually. If letting go meant getting back on his feet, Jimin thinks he can find the strength to be brave.

After shedding plenty of tears, venting his anger by devouring a whole tub of ice-cream, receiving hugs from the members (who were nothing but loving upon understanding the cause of his sadness), taking a deep breath and calming down, he found the determination to try and be genuinely happy.

With or without Jeon Jungkook.

……….

Jungkook had to remind himself that punching someone was illegal.

A single frown was carved so deeply on his face, the other members worried it might leave a permanent impression. With those pursed lips forming a thin line and eyes fuming, it was hard for them to not worry. They feared he might actually shatter the bowl he was clutching onto, judging by the way his knuckles were beginning to turn white.

“Jungkook?” Jin’s voice cautious but with evident concern, “Is…everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook acknowledged the eldest without removing his gaze on a certain giggling male, who was preoccupied with playing video games in the living room and completely oblivious to his irritated stare from the dining table. “Why ask?”

“Because you look like you’re about to stab someone with those chopsticks,” Namjoon bluntly stated, “It’s freaking us out. Want to tell us what’s bothering you?”

Jungkook paused before replying, “It’s nothing.”

“It can’t possibly be that our Jungkookie is jealous of that.”  Yoongi had a knowing grin on as he teased, pointing at both Jimin and Hoseok who had their backs to them and headphones on as they were engaged in a serious race.

Silence was given.

If Jungkook had to recall the number of times he awkwardly initiated a hug or conversation, which only resulted in Jimin politely dismissing his attempts to reconcile, choosing to hang out with anyone besides Jungkook, replying him with sentences consisting of no more than ten words – Jungkook would definitely lose count.

The maknae scoffed, “I’m not-”

And the most frustrating part was that Jimin started to cling onto the others, namely Hoseok, instead of seeking attention from him. He had trouble overcoming the nerve-wrecking urge to smash his laptop upon finding out there were more searches regarding “JiHope” than “Jikook” on the Internet. Even the fans were starting to notice.

“I’m going to win this time, hyung!” Jimin’s laugh warm and hearty, resonating across the room.

“Not so fast,” Hoseok grinned as he overtook the younger who was temporarily distracted, “Victory is mine!”

“Hobi-hyung, you’re cheating!”

“…jealous”

Jungkook wasn’t sure if he was convincing the others, or himself. But innumerable evidence indicated it was the latter.

The tables have turned indeed.

“I never thought I would live to see this day,” Yoongi was clearly amused. “Somebody get champagne please. It’s worth a celebration.”

“Yah,” Jin fixed the male an opposing look after noticing Jungkook’s face was scrunched and as sour as a plum, “Enough with the teasing.”

“Alright, alright. My bad.” Yoongi raised his arms slightly in defeat before he resumed eating with a gummy grin still on.

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Jin asked in concern, gesturing towards Jimin who dedicated complete concentration into defeating Hoseok.

Gradually, Jungkook lowered his dejected eyes to the bowl of untouched rice before him. The sight of Jimin laughing and having fun with Hoseok was agonizing to watch - a reminder that it could have been Jungkook beside him instead; if he hadn’t screwed things up.

If he knew how to make things right.

“No.” Jungkook’s reply curt,

Jin did not know what to do or say besides rub his back in soothing motions, hoping it sufficed in making him feel better. The eldest nudged Namjoon and signalled him for help with desperate eyes pointing towards Jungkook. Much to Jin’s disappointment, Namjoon who was equally helpless, could only offer a shrug of his shoulders.

As was often the case during meal times, Taehyung had been sneakily attempting to steal Namjoon’s pieces of beef without being caught. When he finally succeeded, it took a second for him to shove it into his mouth, and the leader would never come to realise its disappearance.

“If it’s bothering you,” Taehyung uttered slowly while chewing, “Just go confront him.”

Jungkook shot him an abrupt look of absolute disbelief before whispering in a dangerously low tone, “Hyung, do you think I haven’t tried?”

Taehyung’s earnest gaze met Jungkook’s hopeless one. And for a moment, Taehyung caught a glimpse of a frightened and confused child hiding behind those dark orbs, behind the usual strong and calm demeanour of his.

Jungkook felt himself being surrounded by darkness, suffocating. Alone.

“Jungkook. ” Taehyung’s voice jolted him a little, “I know it’s hard. But don’t give up.”

There was a faint light, and he took hesitant steps towards it.

With an arm slung over Jungkook’s shoulder, Jin gave him a reassuring squeeze that brought comforting warmth. The eldest wanted to offer something to encourage Jungkook – he chose hope.

“Everything will be fine.” Jin’s smile was answered with a small, grateful nod.

“I know you can do it, kid.” Namjoon grinned before giving him a quick slap on the back. “You’re our golden maknae after all.”

He wasn’t that afraid anymore.

“It was annoying having you and Jimin being noisy all the time,” Yoongi sighed. “But it’s even more annoying having you two being awkward and not noisy all the time. So you better fix it.”

 And before he realised it, he was taking in the sight of familiar faces smiling; motioning him to be brave and continue down the windy path.

“For Jimin,” Taehyung mouthed slowly, “And for you.”

“Don’t stop trying.”

Jungkook ran forward and never looked back.

……….

Against all common sense in every brain cell of his screaming for him to stop, Jungkook eventually gathered the courage to leave his seat and take small, wobbly steps towards the duo who were still engrossed in their game. The supportive gazes of the others behind him (who were silently praying and rooting for his success) were a driving force that kept him going.

With both hands shaking, throat tightening and heavy breathing – unfitting for the “Golden Maknae” who usually emitted confidence in every stride - the nauseous feeling in his gut continued growing. And each step he took seemed like an eternity long.

 “I challenge you to a bonus level race,” Hoseok nudged Jimin in the arm. “Winner gets free ice-cream for a month.”

“What level’s that?” The younger was confused.

“Driving using our feet with both eyes closed.” Hoseok puffed his chest as if he just discovered an amazing idea, earning a smack on the head by Jimin as they both burst into laughter, unaware of the approaching maknae who was sweating buckets.

Jimin had a smug smirk on, “I’d take on the challenge anytime. You still owe me thre-”

“Jimin.”

His sentence was cut short with the interruption of a low and muffled voice, in addition to a gentle tap on his shoulders. Peeling the headphones off, he whirled around towards the source, and could not mask the evident shock upon realising who it belonged to.

The youngest member of BTS stood before him in an awkward manner – shifting his weight from one foot to another, a single hand fiddling with the strands of hair behind his neck while the other gripped the hem of his shirt.

 But unlike Jungkook’s fidgety behaviour that screamed ‘I want to flee’, his eyes bore into Jimin with certainty and intensity that made him taken aback.

It was the first time Jeon Jungkook ever looked at him like that.

“Jimin,” Jungkook cleared his throat to calm himself down, hoping they did not realise how panic stricken he was.

They did.

“Yes?” The older male monitored him.

“I…um-was…just…err-” Turning to his hyungs for help, Jungkook was devastated to learn they decided to stay out of this by pretending to be caught up in a fascinating conversation ( but still gave him occasional glances to ensure he hadn’t passed out ).

Jimin eyed him warily as he racked his brains, adding to the load of nervousness he was shouldering, “I was wondering…”

“You sound like a broken record, Jungkook.” Hoseok’s laugh made him slightly annoyed, but did help him realise he was not behaving anything like himself.

The Jeon Jungkook he is was brave. Taking a deep breath, Jungkook resolved that he’d rather fail like a man than be a coward.

To hell with it, he thought.

“I was wondering-”Jungkook swallowed before continuing, “-if you would go for a walk with me.”

Jimin was certain time had stopped.

Or maybe his brain did.

“What?”

Even though it was an invitation that Jimin would’ve killed to hear long ago, he never thought in a million years that he would hear it coming from Jungkook now. Jimin felt his mouth gaped as he rationally knew there was no way the younger changed so radically over a period of months.

Or maybe he did.

Even Hoseok was dumbfounded and lost for words for the first time.

“A walk,” Jungkook repeated, this time a little more confident, earning looks of approval from the other members (especially Taehyung), “With me.”

Jimin carefully placed the controller on the table before standing up. “Why?”

“I just want to spend some time with you.” After giving his question some thought, Jungkook voiced his reply softly. And Jimin could finally notice the smudges of tiredness beneath his eyes. “We haven’t…haven’t had time together lately.”

“Oh.” Jimin said, “Oh.”

If there was anything Jimin came to learn, it was the art of faking nonchalance in the face of dire situations. From the corner of his eye, Jimin spotted a small smile Taehyung had plastered on as he sent him a look that clearly meant ‘give the kid a chance’.

“I’m kinda bus-” Jimin was searching for a decent excuse, gesturing towards his paused game.

“Please.”

The single word that rarely escaped Jeon Jungkook’s lips was adequate in silencing the whole dorm, as everyone – including Jimin – stopped to question whether they were starting to experience hallucination.

“Please,” Jungkook repeated once more in an unwavering tone, “Jimin…hyung.”

And just like that, all resolution to ignore the maknae went flying out the windows as he felt his face soften upon hearing Jungkook’s plead.

“Alright.” Jimin nodded slowly, hesitantly, but it made the maknae’s face lit up in an instant.

Jimin couldn’t help but feel a little apprehensive about the sudden idea, but Jungkook - as nervous as he was - wasn’t as opposing towards it as he was. It was a chance Jungkook was willing to take after all.

“We’ll be going out for a while.” Jungkook announced in a tense voice after they had put their disguises on.

The members merely nodded with a smile and two thumbs up, sending their support and best regards to them before resuming whatever they were doing. But Jin, being the “mother” of BTS, couldn’t help but rush over to baby them.

“Do you have your mufflers with you?” The eldest inspected them in great detail. “Gloves? How about your masks? It’s cold outside so be careful.”

Jimin couldn’t suppress a giggle upon the sight of a worried Jin. “We will.” He reached forward to give the anxious-filled male a quick hug before disappearing through the door.

“Jungkook, are you sure you can handle this alone?” The protective instincts of his told him to tag along as he squished Jungkook’s face with both his hands. “You know we can always come along if you want.”

“Hyung,” Gently removing them, Jungkook gave him a sure nod. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

Jin had always found it difficult not being there to watch over his “children”, but deep down he knew Jungkook was more than capable.

Finally, he let go.

“Okay.”

Jeon Jungkook walked out of the dorms and caught up with Park Jimin without missing a beat. As Jin stood there staring at the closed door until Namjoon walked over to pat his shoulder, he couldn’t stop praying that they would both come home with a smile.

And Jungkook was determined to make that happen.

Chapter Text

Replay.

The symphony of their tale came to an end.

“You know, Jimin,” Jin chose his words with great care; “Jungkook may not be very expressive.”

Park Jimin had a long, agonizing hour to consider and reconsider his absurd decision of agreeing to a “walk” with the person he wasn’t that keen on being alone with – Jeon Jungkook.

Against reasonable judgement, he had left the luxury of snuggling by the heater to follow the younger aimlessly for the past hour in absolute silence. Instead of it being relaxing – which most leisurely walks were supposed to be – this one only consisted of a tense atmosphere that was lethally choking.

Not to mention winter was just right around the corner waiting for its turn of a grand entrance and possibly, sneering at the silly duo who chose to be wandering at such inappropriate timing instead of seeking shelter from the cold like everyone else.  

And every bit of Jimin was battling the temptation of leaving his companion and fleeing.

They trudged - footsteps strenuous and in cringe worthy silence - down the empty streets of Seoul. Jimin, as stealthily as possible, stole occasional peeps at the taller male beside him who vaguely shortened his usual strides to match those of Jimin’s, so that they walked at relatively identical pace.

Jimin wondered if Jungkook was equally unsettled like he was, but it was nearly impossible to tell with both their faces obscured by masks to avoid being recognised. He tried very, very hard to squint and make out the expression the younger had on, but as far as Jimin knew, he seemed to be at ease with an unruffled gaze staring ahead.

“He doesn’t voice his feelings out loud most of the times.”

It did, somewhat, irked Jimin to think that he was always the one facing turmoil when it came to Jungkook, while the latter was unmoved by anything (including blood-curdling horror movies which he loathed).

He came to the conclusion that Jungkook was either a machine, or just exceptionally skilled in controlling his emotions. But unbeknownst to Jimin (who was rather clueless and dense at times) the maknae was neither.

“But if you stopped trying to listen, and used your heart to feel it instead.”

If he had better observation skills, it would have been an obvious fact that Jeon Jungkook’s palms were sweating buckets and tightened into balled fists, as he mentally reminded himself to act natural and not march.

A sudden malicious gust of wind sent a chill down Jimin’s spine that rendered him shivering uncontrollably. Shoving his frozen hands a little deeper into the pockets of his coat for scarce heat, he desperately hoped that Jungkook would not notice the slight clattering of his teeth. But of course, being the golden maknae, he was too quick.

“You’d realise he does care for you. More than you can imagine.”

“Here.”

A low voice taut with somewhat uneasiness rippled through the air and broke the quietness hung between them as Jimin felt a soft, woolly scarf gently slid around his neck. Lowering his eyes to study the piece of garment for a second, there was no doubt it ( Jungkook’s Christmas present knitted by his mother ) was messily wrapped around him, with both ends loosely hung and almost touching his knees.

“Wear it,” the maknae coughed before tugging his mask a little higher, as if to conceal the nervousness threatening to spill and the tinge of red staining his cheeks. “It’d be bad if you got a cold.”

Jimin blinked several times as he contemplated the idea of rejecting his good intentions, before turning to look ahead once more upon realising the repercussions of falling ill.

“…Thanks.” He whispered, earning a brief nod from Jungkook.

The additional garment proved to be more than sufficient as Jimin’s shivering eventually came to a halt. It was warm. And the older could faintly smell Jungkook’s scent on it – the scent of a sunny day out and fields of lush grass that made him unconsciously nuzzled the fabric closer.

Jimin was unaware of the small, contented smile tugging on the corner of Jungkook’s lips as he surveyed the older, who was definitely too adorable for his own good. The oversized scarf wrapped around him made Jimin appear like a cute little snowman - with a slightly runny nose due to the cold - wobbling around.

No, Jungkook thought. Cute, was nowhere near describing his hyung; Jimin was perfect.

“This feels nice,” Jungkook hummed with closed eyes, “Peace and quiet, I mean.”

The streets were nearly empty. And now that Jimin was finally done trying not to freeze to death, he could properly appreciate a walk in the stillness of the night, under a curtain of infinite stars that gleamed, without millions of watching fans and cameras picking up his every move, the need to perform and be who he needed to be.

“Yeah,” A deep exhale expelled the tension Jimin had built up, “I suppose it’s not too bad.”

It was liberating.

When their legs were nearing the point of giving out after a long roam, they eventually found themselves at a familiar park just a little on the outskirts. It was still the same old pocket park Jimin remembered; with a stony pathway, little barren trees and a miniature playground (in which he always found pleasure playing at despite being way overage).

Confident of their aloneness, they carefully removed the heavy disguises and masks that were anything but comfortable to wear. And the subsequent breaths of fresh air entering their lungs were revitalizing, like a wilting plant finally obtaining water in the scotching desserts.

Jimin trotted over to a nearby bench and in a swift motion, planted himself comfortably on it, glad to finally be able to rest his poor, aching feet. He admired the younger that seemed to have endless stamina and was far too athletic to be an idol.

He noticed that Jungkook stood there awkwardly, shifting his weight from one leg to another and unsure whether it was appropriate for him to take a seat by his side without asking. The older – despite great efforts to maintain a straight face – couldn’t suppress a chukle upon looking at the troubled maknae.

Jimin gave the seat beside him a quick pat, motioning the younger to join him. The sight of Jungkook’s lit up face as he dashed forward like a little puppy was too adorable that Jimin had to lower his head in efforts to mask his growing smile.

They sat in silence, silhouetted in the moonlight. But unlike before, it wasn’t awkward but rather peaceful; as if they did not need each other to speak, as if the mere presence of being close to one another was more than enough.

Slowly turning his head to the right a precise 90°, Jungkook watched Jimin gaze at the sky above them. His shoulders were peeled back in a relax manner, eyes fixated at the glittering stars. As his dangled legs swung back and forth it made the old bench creak softly against the force. Jungkook watched him closely, carefully choosing the words and considering his options.

“I can see you staring.” Jimin said abruptly. It sent a sharp jolt to snap Jungkook awake, though his voice was soft and melodious without hints of hostility. The maknae did not remove his gaze despite the evident uneasiness Jimin felt.

If he was a moth then Jimin was his flame.

Jungkook was disappointed; he had wanted to observe him for a while longer, considering how this was the closest he got to the older in months, before voicing his thoughts. Jimin continued to rock, the rhythmic creaks of the bench a sorrowful metronome marking every passing second never to return.

“I’m really happy to be here with you.” Jungkook offered softly, earning a humourless laugh from the elder.

“It’s not like I had a choice right?” Jimin retorted and made no attempts in concealing his dissatisfaction, “They wouldn’t have let me say no anyways.”

The words Jimin spat were like a sharp knife that stabbed Jungkook in the heart, twisted and gauged around till it bled severely. It was impossible to ignore the pang of hurt he felt, but he masked it well enough to not let it show. After all, Jungkook thought that he deserved it; that he was in no place to complain.

“I’m…sorry about that.” Jungkook’s down casted eyes bore a hole on the ground.

Jimin straightened up into a slightly defensive stance, but did not turn to look at the dejected male by his side. “What do you want? And don’t tell me we came out here just for a “walk” because we both know that’s not true.”

“I-I…” The maknae swallowed hard. “I meant I…well-”

“You?” Jimin’s tone gentle, but slightly impatient.

“I..err-well I thought…that you-we-could…”

Letting loose a frustrated sigh, Jimin stood up to leave but the iron grip on his wrist left him with only one available option – sitting back down.

Jungkook pled in desperation, “I’m sorry! Just don’t go, please. I’m not really good with this-” He made a frantic gesture pointing back and forth between them, “-this whole being honest and trying to make things right situation.”

They paused for a moment, with Jungkook holding his breath praying that Jimin wouldn’t leave, and Jimin hating how Jungkook’s voice still had an effect on him. It’s been months and he thought he could do it; that he could walk away like he should have and shut the doors completely.

But he couldn’t.

“I was just going to get you something to drink from the convenience store.” Jimin pointed at the bright neon sign across the park. “You looked like you were hyperventilating.”

“I’m fine,” Jungkook heaved in relief before letting go of Jimin’s sore wrist, mumbling a quick apology. “Give me a sec, okay?”

“Just breathe and calm down before you start talking. If you fainted I’d have to call an ambulance for you. And that’s a real hassle.” Jimin sighed.

The younger took at least ten deep breaths ( as instructed by Jimin – who did not allow him any less ) before opening his mouth once more, “I just…wanted to apologise.”

“What for?” Jimin’s brow quirked, lips pursed into a fine line which Jungkook knew, meant that he was extremely agitated.

Jungkook directed his sad gaze to the older and spoke softly, careful not to cause any more uneasiness. “For hurting you, for not noticing how unhappy you were about us, for making you hate me, for-”

“I don’t.”

Jimin’s interruption cut his sentence short and left him taken aback, with eyes slightly widened in confusion as he cocked his head to the side waiting for the older to continue.

“I don’t hate you. I never did.” Jimin’s pursed lips gradually softened into a tired smile – which Jungkook couldn’t say he preferred more than the first.

“I was a lot of things: sad, angry, in complete denial, blamed the whole world, beyond tempted to punch you in the face, cried like a real ugly baby which I’m not proud of…but-”

Hesitantly and with great effort, the older turned to look at him properly for the first time with eyes that were void of happiness - despite the smile he had on.

“I have never, and will never come to hate you, Jungkook.”

The sound of his name finally spoken aloud ignited a flame in him that extinguished the moment Jimin turned his back. He liked the way it sounded on Jimin’s lips; though he wished Jimin addressed him with more affection, without a strained tone and being on the verge of crying.

“I should have been more expressive,” Jungkook shook his head in shame, as if he couldn’t bear what he did, “I should have tried harder, for you; for us.”

The sincerity embedded in each and every word he mouthed left Jimin speechless. He used to think everything that the maknae said was either a joke or tease, given his young age, but he was aware that this wasn’t the case.

Jeon Jungkook was regretful, hurt, confused, lost – everything Jimin was and still is.

The younger’s dark eyes, Jimin noticed, were reluctant to meet his. With his shoulders slouched, eyes slightly glossy, fingers nervously fiddling with his shirt, Jungkook looked very much younger than the usual calm, collected and confident Mr.Perfect.

Park Jimin realised that his love was killing him; killing them.

They trained, debuted, grew together every day from the very first moment they met, facing each hurdle that came their way and travelled milestones one at a time as friends, as a team, as a family. Their story was one nothing less than adventurous and craze-filled with ups and downs. But Jimin, after all this time, finally came to truly understand how Jeon Jungkook was only an ordinary human – just like he was.

And you do not hurt the person you love.

“No.”

It was after months of denial up to this very moment, that Jimin came to accept the fact that he wasn’t the only one hurting. He had always made sure that his feelings were clearly voiced with words and affectionate gestures – given his bright and bubbly personality - while Jungkook was different.

But it did not mean the latter does not care, just like what Jin had made known to him.

Jungkook watched him with weary eyes, as if he were afraid Jimin might scream at him; tell him to disappear from his life forever and never to speak to him ever again. But Jimin’s warm eyes assured him that it was never going to happen.

Hesitantly, as if he had long forgotten how, Jimin gently placed a hand over Jungkook’s balled fists. The cold, smooth skin of Jimin’s in contact with his knuckles was both familiar and painful to Jungkook, reminding him just how broken and apart they were now; far from what they used to be.

“I realised,” Jimin saw his own reflection in Jungkook’s eyes, an unrecognisable stranger staring back at him; different, but definitely stronger than before. “That I have too many things to be grateful for and BTS is first on my list. Everyone: Namjoon-hyung, Jin-hyung, Suga-hyung, Hobi-hyung, Taehyungie-”

Jimin cleared his throat before continuing, “And you.”

Jimin remembered the feeling of running his fingers through Jungkook’s soft hair, smiling at the sleeping male - who had such a peaceful look on and light snores – before planting pecks on his cheeks. He remembered how happy he was; how it felt falling in love for the first time.

“I don’t understand.” A look of pure shock twisted Jungkook’s features, leaving him unable to comprehend his importance to Jimin after all the hurt he had caused, but Jimin silenced him with a small smile.

“It was never your fault,” The older sighed. “I always knew, deep down, that you had trouble expressing yourself. And that you do care for me despite all the teasing. You were just comfortable around me that’s why. And I knew…you don’t love me the way I love you.”

Jimin’s lips quivered a little, but he pushed through, unwilling to let himself be weak. “Yet I tried to change that.”

“H-hyung,”

“I tried to change you.” He sighed once more, small fingers tightening his grip on Jungkook’s large hand, afraid he might slip away. “And I thought if I just tried harder, I thought if I continued trying relentlessly then maybe, just maybe, someday you’ll…”

But it was a pity that life wasn’t all about the ‘happily ever afters’.

“You’ll come to love me too.”

Jimin finally let the burdening words spill. It burned the back of his throat, stung his eyes as tears threatened to overflow, made every muscle in his body scream in agony as he mouthed those words with nothing less than his genuine feelings.

“But I understand now, Jungkook.” He continued without letting Jungkook interrupt, “Even though you can’t return my feelings, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re important to me. So I’m sorry…for making you the bad guy. It wasn’t fair.”

Jimin’s words settled over Jungkook like a balm, and he needed them like a drowning man needs air. He had longed, prayed, begged for this moment. And now that it happened, Jungkook could only stare at him instead of prancing around like he always imagined he would.

“It was never your fault,” Jimin shot him a stern look, cupped his face in both hands and gave it a firm squish, “Do you hear me? Stop looking like that, Jungkook. That’s not who you are, and that is definitely, not the person I fell in love with.”

“I fon’t feserf eu’,” Jungkook’s words jumbled with his face squished like a rice ball, but managed to crack a small smile upon looking at Jimin’s concerned frown.

“That,” Jimin finally let go, “is for me to decide. Not you.”

Jungkook massaged his sore cheeks, “Jimin, I apologise for being an ass sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

“Fine,” Jungkook huffed, “Most of the times.”

“You’re darn right about that!” Jimin laughed.

Jungkook finally cracked a grin at the sound of Jimin’s melodious laughter, “So does this mean you accept my apology?”

“Only if you accept mine as well, and agree to stop moping around with that look.” Jimin fixed him an earnest look, before giggling at the maknae who vigorously nod his head.

“Is it too much to…ask for a hug?” Jungkook asked sheepishly, but Jimin did not reply him. He merely pulled the younger into a bear hug that nearly crushed his bones – which reminded Jungkook that his hyung may look cute, but those biceps of his were not to be taken lightly.

“I missed you, Jungkookie.” Jimin squeezed him even tighter, earning a strangled ‘oof’ from the maknae.

“Me too, hyung.” Jungkook managed to force out despite being choked.

“Let’s go back to how we were before, okay? No more fights and I promise I won’t bother you with my feelings anymore. Just give me some more time, and I’ll forget about them. Deal?”

Jungkook froze in silence, leaving Jimin concerned at his lack of response.

“Jungkook?”

It was everything he wanted: to be able to joke around with his hyung again, have him ruffle his head in affection whenever he deserved a praise (or even when he doesn’t), spend lazy afternoons listening to IU’s songs and singing along together, make occasional eye contacts during boring interviews and laugh freely with each other’s company.

But the thought of having all those, without Jimin loving him and only regarding him as a younger brother was scary and honestly, did not make sense to him. It was possibly his greatest nightmare.

And Jeon Jungkook did, against all odds, finally found his answer.

“I can’t,” Jungkook gave him a gentle push, breaking their hug before standing up. “I’m sorry.”

“W-what?” Jimin was flabbergasted, with eyes widening in horror at the thought of being rejected.

“I can’t go back to being normal with you.” Jungkook stated plainly. “I can’t.”

Silence fell between them.

“I-I understand,” Jimin’s gaze dropped to his lap, “After all any guy would be creeped out if another guy fell in love with him, right? Let alone be ‘friends’ again. It’s stupid of me to even suggest that. Its okay, I know it’s too much to ask for so…I’ll make sure to stay awa-err-Jungkook?”

The maknae stood directly in front of the sitting male, with both hands planted on the backrest of the bench, trapping him as Jungkook loomed over the fidgety male. His gaze was fixated on Jimin, as if nothing else mattered in the world (not even a crashing asteroid).

“W-what?” Jimin licked his lips nervously as he looked at anywhere other than at the towering male before him who - despite Jimin’s efforts to control his pounding heart - was extremely attractive.

Jeon Jungkook, on the other hand, wondered what it would feel like kissing Park Jimin.

“I can’t be normal around you, Jimin.” The younger whispered, gradually inching forward to close the distance between them so that Jimin would come to realise that he was a hundred percent serious.

“Why?” Jimin squeaked.

“Because,” Jungkook sighed, planting his forehead on Jimin’s, causing him to freeze and hold his breath by the sudden action.

“Because I realised that I am in love with you after all, Jimin.”

If it was possible for time to stop, Jimin was certain it did the second he registered those words escaping Jungkook’s lips. The gears in his mind rotated before getting stuck midway, and eventually rotated again before the process repeated itself. He fantasized, dreamt about this moment ever since he met Jungkook despite knowing the little chances it would actually happen.

But Jimin had woken up long time ago.

Jungkook gave him a quizzical look as the older gently pushed him away to sit upright.

“You don’t have to be kind and lie just to spare me the pain,” Jimin sighed, “because the pain is already done, and I’m moving on.”

“Then don’t move on.”

“Jungkoo-”

“V-hyung once suggested that I may be in love with you,” Jungkook interrupted, “And honestly, I couldn’t tell then if I was or was not. So I tried to imagine a life without you, a life where I have to watch someone else make you happy, and a life where I would never be able to spend the rest of my life waking up next to you. But I couldn’t. All I want, right now, is to be able to hold your hand and walk with you. However slow or fast doesn’t matter because as long as you’re here, it’s enough for me.”

The younger poured his flawed and scarred heart out, offered it vulnerably to Jimin in hopes that he would accept it - despite the lack of cheesy, romantic and catchy lines - and that he would understand just how much he meant what he said.

“That means I love you, right?” Jungkook laughed at his own stupidity for not realising much earlier. It would’ve spared them the trouble and heartaches.

“I am…confused.” Jimin blinked, still trying to process the extraordinary situation.

Now the darkness surrounding them had no borders or end, because there was nothing else in the moment; only them.

Gradually, much to Jimin’s alarm, Jungkook knelt before him and took Jimin’s hands with his own, lacing their fingers together. And it felt right.

“I know,” Jungkook coughed, “that you got tired chasing me. And I’m not exactly the easiest person to deal with.”

“Jungkook,” Jimin murmured as he stared down into Jungkook’s eyes, earning a determined grin from the younger.

“So this time I’ll be the one chasing you instead.” Jungkook smiled, triumphant. “I may be really bad with this, but I won’t stop trying. I promise. So will you, Park Jimin, let me chase you for the rest of your life?”

Jungkook’s hopeful eyes bore right into Jimin’s dubious ones, and the only sounds heard were their rhythmic breathing as well as thumping of hearts as they waited.

For one glorious moment Jimin thought that he would shake Jungkook off, tell him that they were always one step too late, stand by his side as a friend and nothing else, live his days with the younger resenting him. He would go home, bury himself under a thick blanket while crying and perhaps Taehyung would be kind enough to pat his back while he did. Jin would be making a fuss, no doubt, and trying to persuade him to eat whatever delicious meal he made. And Jimin would move on.

The moment passed.

“I guess I wouldn’t mind having that happen.” Jimin laughed with tears finally trickling down his cheeks.

But they had a whole lifetime, and many others, to begin a new story.

Chapter Text

Hey everyone,

Just a quick update! Some of you have been really kind to encourage me to write a sequel for this fic :)) I'm not sure if it can be counted as an sequel but I did have the sudden urge to write some Jikook fluff. So if you are in need of some Jikook (let's be honest who doesn't...), do check it out!

Thank you and have a great day! <3

Am I In Trouble? [JIKOOK]