Archive of Our Own

Despite his best efforts, sleep did not come easy for Diamond. 

Years into the routine did not make much of a difference. He was an immortal, but not one made for any reason; nothing would ever quite fit him the same way ingrained habits would fit any other Gem’s life. No, falling asleep was always an active effort. Something he had to learn, get good at; something he could fail at. He didn’t even particularly like it most of the time. Albeit it was because, parallel to rest, sleep usually brought along the nightmares.

They weren’t all unpleasant, necessarily. He consciously knew they were more or less glimpses of his internal world, the Beach denied to him. It looked good, as far as he could tell. Technicolor, mostly pinks and pastels. He could see some buildings. A large, shining sphere in the sky, acting like a sun. A pink beach. 

But they also hurt. A strange kind of hurt, not like a spike or a blunt impact, but like a malady encroaching on him. Like a fog that surrounds his heart and slowly but surely starts becoming denser, denser than air, denser than his own body, until it’s crushing him from every angle. It hurt, but he deserved it. He deserves everything bad coming to him. He made sure he did. A voice makes sure he knows it, every time. He can’t ever tell whose voice it is.

And then, invariably, he would wake up stressed. At least he had grown accustomed to these events; no more startling, rude awakenings. No more power discharges or pink spikes all over the walls. He just grumbled awake every time, sat up, and breathed deeply the artificial, honestly completely superfluous air of the Blue Moon. 

He looked around his master bedroom. It was square and a little under-decorated, with beautiful walls of somewhat reflective rock. The curtains in front of the veranda doors were a bit too see-through, which he always meant to have addressed, but never had time. He could see the city skyline behind it, little crystals shining in the dark, orbiting the Gem Homeworld. The sounds of a busy, compact metropolis at resting hours buzzed around, sometimes sharp enough to enter his chambers. His massive bed felt almost too empty as the sound echoed. 

He called it a master bedroom, but it’s not like the rest of his house was particularly large outside of it. He was one of the few Gems who lived by themselves in Nora. Most everyone else had immigrated with partners; some as family units, others as friends. A lot of them eventually found people to live together. He technically had people to live with, but it wasn’t the same when they lived inside your Gemstone’s internal world. And some hated you.

Sighing, Diamond got up. He summoned a robe that felt like silk on his skin, and slowly walked up to his veranda. He always found it soothing on nights like these, when the nightmares won a bit too early and he couldn’t just march up to the Assembly and start a day’s work. He liked to take it all in. 

The flying cars zooming about, the shimmering tower of the Brilliant Assembly in the distance, almost acting like a light source from how much light it reflected, the night sky full of stars, with the shattered, haunting beauty of Homeworld so close by… 

In the first years, he would come to this porch and just stand there for a while. Sometimes for a whole evening. It used to make him feel calm, but, over time, he had to admit it made him feel a bit numb as well. Diamond had decided a long time ago that he couldn’t stay there for long. If he did, he might just stop moving. Just let the pretty lights tell him it’s going to be okay, without it ever happening.

It had been ten years since he felt such profound sadness for the first time. Ten years since Steven’s death. 

He touched his chest’s Gemstone, a gleaming diamond reflecting light in little rainbows. A perfect cut. The reason so much of his life had been so difficult right away. Diamond caught himself thinking like that whenever he woke up from these nightmares, wholly composed of these glimpses at his failures. It used to be a gesture of grounding, but now it made him reminisce about things he’d rather move on from. 

It wouldn’t be fair to move on, though. Not ever. The little voice kept reminding him. People like him don’t get to move on.

He was distracted enough with his wallowing that he almost missed a green, glowing orb coming toward him from street level. It hummed in a shrill tone, which finally caught his attention. Getting himself together, he let his sulking expression soften as the light floated to his side on the porch, forming a small pyramid-like shape near his waist height and then a humanoid body underneath it. 

“It’s good to see you, Peridot.” Diamond said, trying not to let the strain show in his voice. “I didn’t realize you were out.”

“My Diamond.” Peridot said, unable to let old habits die. He just ignored it, at this point. “I um… I sneaked out.” 

His brow furrowed a bit, more in a show of confusion than anything else. He fully turned to her, smiling. 

“From what?” He asked, gesturing. “You’re free to go anywhere.”

“It’s… it’s complicated.” 

The Light form of Peridot let herself into his bedroom, sitting on his enormous bed with some difficulty. Curious, Diamond accompanied her, summoning a chair so that he could sit facing her.

She was one of several Gems who lived within his Gemstone. One of the only ones who did not choose to do so, also. He made concessions and promises to all of them since. To find a way to unfuse, to allow them safe passage to wherever they wanted, a live outside of his. Most of them were okay with the arrangement. 

Most of them.

“Is something wrong with the Beach?” He tried guessing. “Are you okay?”

“Everything’s fine.” Peridot reassured him. “Diamond City’s okay, we’re doing alright. it’s not…”

She kept interrupting herself by looking away, like she was trying to figure out what she was allowed to say. Affairs related to his inner world always came with these caveats, Diamond thought. Captain Pearl ran a tight ship. One that did not involve him unless strictly necessary.

“Look,” Peridot finally seemed to give in, leaning forward as if to tell him a secret. “What I’m about to tell you is classified information, strictly on a need-to-know basis. I shouldn’t even be here.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” He couldn’t help but finding the diminutive Light-Gem’s secrecy amusing. Come on, it was his own mind. 

Looking around almost as if expecting secret assassins to pop out of the bedsheets, Peridot finally continued, in hushed whispers: 

“Lapis is gone.”

His smile disappeared. His heart, a barely-real organ by this point, sunk inside his chest. 

“What do you mean ‘gone’?” 

“She hasn’t been seen in the City for months. We’ve been taking turns trying to find her, and I was supposed to… I mean I, I thought I knew her, I thought I knew where she’d go, but…”

The more Peridot spoke, the more her voice started to quiver. Diamond had never seen any of the Light forms cry, but they were clearly capable of doing it. The tears were specks of light that shined brighter than the rest of the body. They disappeared as they dripped down, like little fireflies floating away. 

He had always wondered if Lapis and Peridot had made up, or gone through any relationship updates ever since they were absorbed by him. It was never a good time to ask.

“I’m sorry, I thought I was over it.” Peridot gagged, smearing the tears off her cheeks. “I’m just really worried, b-but I know that’s just how she is. Even if I hate it.”

“She used to go away on her own a lot, back when…”

When Steven was alive. When Diamond wasn’t.

“... when you two met, right?”

“Y-yeah, but it’s different now. She has a job, she has responsibilities. The Captain really needs Lapis, Diamond, and I was supposed to have brought her back last week!” 

Diamond sincerely doubted all of this was as urgent as Peridot was describing. Every Gem on the Beach was deeply loyal to Pearl, and he knew she was a just and kind community leader. Peridot was putting pressure on herself. It was simply how she acted.

But this was concerning. Months without coming back… they didn’t actually know if Light forms could stay out for that long without repercussions, and they didn’t know if they would always return to him if damaged. He assumed so, but…

“Do you mind if I help?” He asked. “I’m worried about her too.”

“I-I don’t know if the Captain would be okay with that.” Peridot admitted. “I know I just told you all of this, but it’s still my job, and…”

“And you’re stressed, and need a break.” Diamond interrupted, as nicely as he could. “I could look in places you haven’t yet, you could report back to Pearl, and if I can’t find her, she can just send you or anyone else out again.”

Peridot winced, uncomfortable. Her fingers nervously tipped against each other as she looked like she was searching for escape routes from that bedroom. Diamond gave her the time. It wasn’t easy for her to take care of herself.

“Alright, I can work on my reports.” She finally acquiesced, embarrassed. “I’ll give you the list of places I’ve already searched. C-can you please summon me if you find her? I really want to talk to her about this.”

“Sure thing, Peridot. Thanks for letting me help.”

“The pleasure is mine, My Dia–” 

She actually managed to stop herself this time, with both of them snickering awkwardly. 

“It’s never going away, huh?” Diamond let himself say, his smile a bit strained. 

“Sorry.” She said, and she meant it. “I don’t think so.”

Peridot had covered a lot of ground. Lapis had been a prolific terraformer in her prime, and knew of several worlds within the old Gem Empire that she could have reasonably been hiding in. Peridot also checked with some known associates, although she went back to Diamond’s before going through all the obvious suspects. He assumed she just felt demotivated.

Or, he thought to himself as he warped to Earth, maybe she just genuinely did not want to bring her up to the Crystal Gems. That wasn’t an unfounded worry. Lapis brought about conflicting feelings on Gems, even on their old mutual friends. Feelings he, himself, was trying to ignore.

The Little Homeworld warp landed him close enough to Bismuth’s workshop, and suddenly, ignoring things became Diamond’s favorite pastime. Surely he could leave that for last. There were plenty of people nearby that could have heard of Lapis lately. If Peridot didn’t come here first, it meant Lapis was a genuinely sore spot for Bismuth. And if he, of all people, brought it up, he might end up very sore as well.

Don’t think of the death threats and interplanetary incidents Bismuth almost caused, Diamond. Distract yourself a bit. You haven’t been to Earth in a while.

The local community was thriving, at the very least. Gems of all cuts and types interacting with humans of all shapes and colors, with the type of diversity even Diamond found unusual. It had been years since the last time he’d been on Earth proper, but it had changed drastically. Spirals of crystals were rising from places in Little Homeworld that he knew used to be quaint shops and little offices for recently-cured Gems. Industry comes for all, he thought.

He thought about visiting old haunts. The arcade, the pizzeria. Maybe checking in on Greg. But a slight pang of guilt told him he ought not to. He hadn’t called in a while. He hadn’t kept up with them. They probably didn’t have time to spend on him. Diamond should just get to work.

First stop was easy to figure out. The Temple was as beautiful as ever, even if they had built some new structures around the mound. The main house was still enshrined within the image of Obsidian, and it looked like someone was home.

Carefully landing by the front door, Diamond knocked. He should have probably checked if anyone was home. Stars, he didn’t even know what day it was, or what time of the year. Maybe everyone was out…

“Coming, coming…”

He felt whatever passed for blood in his veins growing ice cold. That wasn’t Pearl’s voice. Or Garnet’s, or anyone he expected to be around.

Amethyst, clearly having just woken up from a nap, opened the door. The single eye she let see out of her hair took a second to move up, but when she realized what was happening, he could almost swear he saw it flaming.

“Oh.” She mumbled, now wide awake and slightly annoyed. “Hey.”

She wasn’t wearing the Quartz diplomatic battle armor he had grown accustomed to seeing in meetings. She wore a black top and pants, cut by a white belt with a star cut-off on her shirt to show her Gemstone. It reminded him of how she used to look.

“Amethyst.” Diamond said, struggling not to sound nervous. “I didn’t know you still lived here.”

“I’m on vacation.” She said, terse. “From the Family, and from you.”

“Okay, um, I’m… on a mission, actually.” 

Talking to Amethyst was never easy. She didn’t… feel like she hated him that much, at least from his perspective. They talked about what was best for the Quartz Family, where some of them could settle in Blue Moon, how they could help the larger Gem community with Nora’s resources… but they never stuck around each other afterwards. They weren’t friends. They couldn’t be.

“Oh yeah?” She crossed her arms, leaning on the door. “What’s so important that it’s got you leavin’ Blue Marble up there?”

“Lapis is missing, and it’s gotten people worried.” 

Her visible eye squinted a bit, studying him. His relationship to his inner world wasn’t public, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out it wasn’t always roses. Ugh, he hated that pun, actually.

“Maybe she just doesn’t wanna be with you anymore.” Amethyst teased him, letting herself be cruel. “It happens, dude. Be cool about it.”

“Look, I know how it sounds, but Peridot is worried. She and Captain Pearl don’t know where Lapis is, and she hasn’t come back for months. She might be in trouble, or worse.” 

Amethyst’s expression softened a bit as she accepted the gravity of the situation. She straightened herself and at least looked like she was paying more attention.

“I just want to make sure she’s okay.” He continued, unable to not show some worry in his voice. “Do you know anything? Have you seen her lately?”

“Hmmm.” 

Amethyst held her chin and walked back into the house. Diamond took it as an invitation. 

The house had changed quite a bit. He knew Greg at some point had moved in, but didn’t actually know if he had stuck around. It was a bit unkempt, meaning Amethyst was likely the only current inhabitant. The kitchen counter was full of half-eaten snacks and wrappers, and there were new machines everywhere, from a new TV to some new things he didn’t really recognize. The second floor looked like a pigsty, but in a way he remembered it sometimes looking when he lived here. When Steven lived here. 

“Where is everyone?” He asked, curious.

“Pearl and Greg are traveling. Seein’ the stars for their anniversary.” She said, absentmindedly. Amethyst was looking for something, first under the counter, then inside the cabinets. “Garnet’s got a class for fusions right now, they’ll be back in a week. Some bonding exercises or somethin’; I was chillaxin’ until someone told me he misses his ex.”

He didn’t reply to that. Amethyst liked poking at him, and he had gotten good at not engaging. Most of the time. 

She finally found what she was looking for: a small white and purple disk, a little concave in the middle. Amethyst put it on the desk and a holographic interface popped up automatically. With the touch of a button, the hologram expanded into a circular shape, eventually showcasing a group of Jaspers apparently roughhousing. 

“Hey, ladies.” Amethyst said, to no avail. “Hey! HEY, you buncha rocks, I’m talkin’ to you!”

One of the Jaspers seemed to hear her words and turned around, presumably seeing an equivalent to the hologram.

“Hey, it’s Big Sis!” The nearest Jasper exclaimed, which caught the attention of the others. 

Diamond watched as about six or seven of the warriors tried fitting into the circular screen to see Amethyst better. A small part of him recognized some of them. The Fullmetal Jaspers, as they called themselves nowadays. That same small part of him also felt a deep sense of spite at the name and sight of them. 

“Listen up, girls, I need some information.” Amethyst said after some light banter he ignored. “Believe it or not, I got our very own dear Diamond over here with me, and he legit needs us.”

Diamond awkwardly walked into the frame of the object, waving slightly at the warriors.

“H-hello.” He said, to no response for what felt like too long. He should probably say something else? “Diamond here.” 

A shorter silence followed by roaring laughter and jeering ensued. He could hear certain expressions of derision and uncouth calls for a “round 2” or whatever it was they wanted, but ultimately, it just made him embarrassed, and not upset. At least that’s what he kept telling himself.

“Alright ladies, alright!” Amethyst exclaimed, which made them lower their voices. “I need to activate the network. We’re looking for one of his light people, one Lapis Lazuli.”

“What does he want with her?” A Jasper with a Gemstone in her chin spoke up. Roxxie, Diamond somehow remembered. “Maybe she just escaped from him.”

“Wouldn’t be the first to break up with the weirdo!" A tall, athletic Jasper screamed from the back, making the others erupt in some more laughter.

He noticed Amethyst’s sly smile, and felt like elbowing her. Instead he stepped up, trying to defend his dignity, even if ever so slightly.

“I’m just helping her friends, they’re worried about her.” He said. “Can you help check if she’s anywhere the Quartz Family has a presence on?”

“We don’t take orders from you, big boy.” A short and bulky Jasper, near the tall one that had just talked before, said harshly. “Last I checked, we’re independent from your little colony and Homeworld.”

“Alright Tee, we get it, Four thinks you’re really tough, relax.” Amethyst interrupted, deescalating the situation. 

The Jaspers laughed a bit more while the tall one kissed the short one’s head, and it seemed fine. They were back to neutral immediately, like they hadn’t been trading insults for the entire conversation. Diamond couldn’t imagine living with these women. He was exhausted already. No wonder Amethyst needed a vacation.

“Seriously though, we’re working with Diamond for now.” She continued, with a little more gravitas to her voice. “Lapis is a real one, I probably owe her a favor, and if she’s in trouble, I want to know. We’ll check things out around here, but keep me posted, yeah?”

Some excited Jasper noises ensued, as if typing into a computer and calling some allies was going to be a great battle they were about to embark on. The hologram was turned off from the other side, and Diamond and Amethyst were alone again.

“Thank you, Amethyst.” He said, recomposing himself. He did not expect to still be this salty about that fight his Light form lost, this was a wild new sensation. “Will you let me know if they say anything right away?”

“Oh, you’ll probably hear it when they call me back. Come on, let’s go see Bismuth.” 

The short Gem walked away from him, toward the door, not leaving Diamond with much time to react. 

“Wait, you’re coming along?” He stepped forward, trying to catch up to Amethyst, who for a short woman walked very fast. 

She stopped moving near the beach, looking at him with a neutral yet somewhat excited expression. 

“‘Course I’m going. I worry about Lapis, we been through a lot. I wanna make sure she’s alright.”

“Oh. Then, I appreciate the help.” Diamond smiled. “We don’t really spend much time together, is all. I thought you didn’t like me.”

Any hint of friendliness in her face melted away, like a switch turned off in her head. Her single eye stared at Diamond’s like she was trying to shoot him with it.

“I don’t. I meant it when I said that maybe she’s running away from you. If we find out that’s what’s happening, I’m gonna make sure she’s able to.”

Diamond grimaced as Amethyst resumed her walk, toward Little Homeworld. They didn’t exactly have a car, so it would be a long, likely silent walk. 

“I wouldn’t keep her against her will.” He said, unable to not feel offended. 

“Sure you wouldn’t.” She replied, cruelty back in her tone. “Tell that to Steven next time you see him.”

Don’t fight her, Diamond, he told himself. Don’t make this into a thing. You have work to do.

He really didn’t want to see Bismuth so soon, but plans and punches to the face, and all that.

The workshop had grown, as well. He knew Peridot came here occasionally to help out, or just to talk. A few spires and blocky new rooms erupted from the ceiling, making it look more like an office building than a humble blacksmith’s forge. Which, he knew that’s what it was, at this point– making nothing but the best stuff means more people come for you in their time of need, and you need space and personnel to meet the demand.

This line of work also came with fearlessness, and a lack of patience for fascists, which is what she called him last time they were in the same location for more than five seconds.

“Maybe I should wait outside.” Diamond said as Amethyst opened the door, not bothering to knock.

“Maybe you should grow a spine, dude. Come on.” 

Led by the woman’s magnetism and because, well, they were here at his expense, Diamond walked into Bismuth’s Bisness Inc.’s main lounge, which was decorated with her previous favorite works. Four small, in-house warp pads connected it to the rest of the spire, with Gems coming in and out of them. It was a busy day. 

A small, pink Gem, with long hair running down her was working the counter that day. She looked like she was wearing a mix between a kimono and a smith’s apron, although she was preoccupied with what Diamond assumed was Bismuth’s version of a smartphone. A sort of thin piece of glass floating in front of her face.

“Welcome to Bismuth’s Bisness.” She said, more monotone than some robots Diamond had in his house. “How can we help you today.”

“Morganite, girl, look up, it’s me.”

Morganite took her eyes off from her phone for a second, at which point Diamond saw emotion turn on in her head. Her face finally emoted, and she greeted Amethyst with excitement.

“Big Sis Amethyst!” She exclaimed, moving enough on her stool that Diamond noticed she was a little smaller than Amethyst. Maybe a much younger Gem than he thought? Some experiment from the end of the Era? “Oh my stars, it’s been ages!”

“Bismuth’s making you work the counter again, huh? What was it this time, explosion?”

“I melted a workstation.” She braced herself onto the counter, looking depressed. “I have counter duty for a month! It’s not fair, so what the lava was too hot, it’s lava, it’s supp…”

She seemed to finally notice Diamond, awkwardly towering over Amethyst. Her eyes squinted a bit.

“You’re the guy the boss doesn’t like.” She said, examining him. “What kind of Gem is named ‘Imposter’?”

“It’s Diamond, actually.” He took it in stride. He couldn’t tell if the lady really did not know him.

“Oh. She never mentioned it.” Her attention went back to Amethyst. “What’s he doing here?” 

“We need to see Big Momma about a friend of ours.” Amethyst moved on. “She in?”

Morganite shrugged. “Should be. I haven’t seen her in a few days, though. She’s been cooped up in her private workshop for a bit. Something about a new invention.”

“Alright, keep it real Momo, we’re going up. Let her know we’re coming, yeah? Both of us.”

The pink Gem smiled warmly at Amethyst as she moved away. Then she stared at Diamond again, pointing him toward the warp pad with her chin.

He wondered, in the short walk from counter to pad, if Bismuth really still hated him that much. They hadn’t spoken in almost a decade, which for Gems is admittedly not that long. 

The light in this short-range teleporter felt different on his skin, more like a strong lantern rather than the warm main warp’s light. When they arrived, the setup started to make more sense.

Bismuth hadn’t transformed her old forge into a lounge; she had raised the original building to the top of the spire. It was all here, just the way he remembered it: the warm, almost intimate orange glow of the lava flowing from the pneumatic tubes, illuminating the entire place. The chaotic but clearly systematic placement of tools, each of them older than they looked, most chipped and burned. A couple pictures of her friends on the walls. And most importantly: the blacksmith toiling over an anvil, hitting it with her own hands transformed into hammers. 

“Ayo, Bismuth.” Amethyst said, loudly. “Good to see you, girl.”

Bismuth stopped hammering, turning around. She was wearing protection goggles, and had transformed her usual clothes into a red and blue apron. Transforming her hands back, she dusted them off against each other, deliberate and stiff. She had a spent, but happy expression on her face.

“Amethyst!” She approached the small Gem, giving her a hug that raised her like a child. “Oh I’m sorry, I’m all dirty.” 

“Nahhh, I miss this, come in.” 

Diamond watched the friends hugging, actively ignoring his presence. It was one of those days, he knew. But Bismuth wasn’t one for euphemisms, or even decorum. When it felt right to break off the hug, she put Amethyst back on the ground and addressed him directly, a smile still on her face.

“So, what possessed you and made you think it was a good idea to come here?”

Some people had this uncanny ability to look threatening even when amicable. Bismuth was one of those people.

“Hello to you too, Bismuth.” He said, a bit acid. “I was hoping you could help me. It interests us both.”

“Hmm, I don’t know Diamond, last time I helped you, I remember you couldn’t even tell me your real name.” She scratched her chin, still smiling. “Not a great start to a business relationship, don’t you think? Oh, and then you killed the son of my war general, and absorbed two of my best friends.” 

“That’s not–”

“Oh I’m sorry, did you think this was a conversation? I like listing things, is all.” She put her hands up to stop him, her brow furrowing. “The answer is no. I hope you die.”

Diamond’s patience was at an end. This was exactly what he didn’t want.

“Listen, it’s not for me, it’s–”

Bismuth’s right fist turned back into a hammer. She maintained eye contact. Diamond felt his weapons floating in his Gemstone. Bismuth knew she couldn’t win, but she would go down fighting, and there were civilians in this building.

“Okay, hey, hey, Big Momma, we need you here.” Amethyst put herself between them, arms raised as if asking for peace. “It’s not just helping him. There’s something up with Lapis.”

“Maybe it has something to do with the horrible monster who absorbed her against her will.” She replied, through gritted teeth, still looking unblinking at Diamond. “I don’t know what he’s told you, but–”

“She’s missing, Bismuth.” Diamond tried. “I’m not here just for me, it’s for Peridot. She’s worried sick.”

“Maybe if she was with her friends, we could take care of her.” Bismuth hissed, leaning a little. “How about you bring her out, Diamond? Permanently?”

“You know I can’t.”

“I know you say that.”

Upset, Diamond closed his eyes rather than respond. He turned around and made to leave.

“This is pointless; Amethyst, I’m going to go look someplace else.” 

“And if you find her?” Bismuth asked him, behind his back. “You’re gonna put her back in your little Gemstone again, as punishment? You’re gonna ground her?”

“No! Stars, why are you like this?” He turned, his cape glittering orange with the lava glow. “I’m worried about her! She might be hurt, or worse! I don’t know how long a Light form can stay away from me, not like this!”

“She wouldn’t be a Light form if you hadn’t tricked her into fusing with you! You ghoul, you knew what it meant to her!”

Bismuth put her hammer up, pointing it at him like a finger. Amethyst was a full head too short to stop it with her body, which made her dodge out of the way.

“I don’t care if you’ve convinced others this is fine, because it’s not! You’re a parasite who feeds on people’s insecurities so you can make them work for you! And I’m not going to be involved in anything to make you happier!”

“Okay, Bismuth,” Amethyst said, putting her hand on the woman’s hammer. “I know how you feel, and I kinda agree to a point, but what if Lapis actually is in danger? Don’t you want to help her?”

Diamond’s mind was on fire. He could feel it, deep inside himself. Every memory of war, of struggle, of strife four conquerors of the galaxy had acquired for millennia. He could feel every terrible thing they had ever done to Bismuths, to these low-class architects made to change dead rock into sculptures. He remembered Yellow saying they should have used robots instead, he could remember Blue shattering an entire Kindergarten’s worth of Bismuths over ugly decoration. He remembered Pink kissing this one and then forgetting about it the next day.

He was one word away from an incident. One word away from a decade of diplomacy and labor to work with Little Homeworld going down the drain. And by the stars alive he was almost there. He was almost done with all of it. And he knew she could tell. He knew she could feel it coming. The last fight of her life before he shattered her in one fell swoop. She would win it by default. The great Diamond, reduced to a child killing over a tantrum.

And then, almost as if the memories were delivered to him by hand, he remembered how beautiful she looked on the day of Garnet’s wedding, and how happy her laugh was whenever she danced with Pearl, and how her eyes shined when Peridot started to share her latest ideas. He remembered everything. He never forgot. He wasn’t allowed to forget.

Diamond sighed, letting go of some of his anger. 

“There’s nothing I can do to apologize enough for how much I ruined everything.” He said, a real tone of defeat in his voice. It was enough to make Bismuth’s wrist visibly shake downward. “I’ve said I’m sorry almost every day, and I’m not going to stop doing it. And I know it’s never going to be enough.” 

Amethyst turned around to look at him while he talked. Both Gems had a perplexed expression on their faces, like they didn’t know where this was going. Diamond could barely look at them. 

“I just want to make sure she’s okay.” He whispered out. “I can’t have her get hurt. I’ve hurt too many people who trusted me, and I want it to stop. Please, if you know anything, I’m begging you. I’ll never bother you again after this.”

Anger filled Bismuth’s expression again, but it didn’t take. It wasn’t like the anger she threw at him a few minutes ago. It was almost as if she was angry at herself. Eventually, she turned in one violent, raw movement, and smashed a desk nearby. The noise of a hammer shattering wood startled Amethyst, but it didn’t bother Diamond. Her hammer transformed back into a hand, which she used to hold her head like it hurt.

“Don’t you look at me like that.” She said, with her back turned to him. She sounded like she was about to cry. “Those are Steven’s eyes. I don’t want to see them in your face.” 

Now he felt like he could cry, but it wasn’t going to happen here. Either way, he was done with the situation. This had been a waste of his time. He was turning around to leave when she spoke again.

“I don’t know where Lapis is, but two years or so ago, she came looking for something.”

He turned to her again, curious.

“She wanted a way to transport vast amounts of water in a small container. Like an infinite bag of holding.” Bismuth passed her hand through her locks, facing Diamond again. Her eyes were a bit red. “I didn’t know what she wanted it for, I thought it was for Captain Pearl. She said you didn’t know about this.”

“I didn’t. Did you manage to make what she wanted?” He asked. 

“Of course I did. It was easy. Figured it out in a week.” She crossed her arms, not looking at him anymore. “She said thanks and that was the end of it. That was the last time I saw her. Peridot comes more often, but we don’t talk about Lapis. It upsets her.”

Suppose this explains why she didn’t come here first, Diamond thought. She was saving it for last, just like I tried to.

“What could Lapis want with a bunch of water?” Amethyst asked, more to the room than to anyone in particular. “She didn’t say it, but do you have any ideas?”

“No.” Bismuth replied, a little terse. “And I meant it. I’m not helping any more than this. I love you Amethyst, but I don’t like working with this guy. I support Lapis going away no matter what she got into.”

“This is already a lot.” Diamond lied. This wasn’t very useful, but it was a start. “Thank you, Bismuth. You won’t see me again.”

“Good.” 

He left the forge, trying to focus on what came next. Amethyst stuck around for a while longer. As soon as he left through the warp, Bismuth collapsed, sitting on the ground in frustration and covering her face. She was so angry she couldn’t even cry.

“I hate him so much.” She said between her hands, while Amethyst put her hand on the bigger Gem’s shoulder. ”I didn’t even know I could hate someone this much, Amy. I didn’t hate the Diamonds this much.”

“I hear ya.” Amethyst replied, without much confidence in her voice. “Thanks for telling us about the bag.” 

“Why are you helping him?” Bismuth looked at her, her eyes spelling out betrayal. “How could you even do that?”

“Come on, Bis, you know I gotta look out for the Fam. I can’t just ignore him.” She sat on Bismuth’s side, looking down. “And I am worried about Lapis. I believe it when he says he doesn’t want to hurt her, but I wanna make sure.”

“Every time I hear his voice I remember when Steven and I met.” Bismuth whimpered. Maybe she was going to cry, the idea was in flux. “He was so afraid of me, but he was even more afraid of letting me hurt other Gems. It was a whole thing, and… and I knew he meant it, because Rose Quartz would have lied to me. That’s why I let him win that one.”

“Oh, you let him win.” Amethyst rested her head on Bismuth’s side, smiling weakly. “Right.”

“I had him on the ropes.” She chuckled, her voice cracking. “Pipsqueak caught me lacking for a second, is all.”

They both laughed, sitting on the floor surrounded by warmth and glow. 

“You really think you’re never gonna forgive Diamond?” Amethyst asked eventually. “You really hate him that much?”

Bismuth took a while to respond. She gently pushed away from Amethyst as she got up, taking a deep breath.

“There’s nothing to forgive, Amethyst. He’s a weird replacement for the person who did some of the worst things I can think of. He reminds me of a monster I knew, and I don’t feel like getting over that.”

“It sounded like you blamed him.”

“I have to blame someone.” Bismuth walked back to her work station, summoning her hammer again. “All this pain can’t just have been random. It can’t have been for a good reason, or a sacrifice we had to make. No, it has to be someone’s fault, and it’s not mine. Fine, maybe I don’t hate him exactly the way I hated the Diamonds; that might have been a stretch. But I don’t like him either. And I don’t want to.”

Amethyst got up, looking at her friend’s back. She couldn’t even see if she was really hitting a project. Maybe she just wanted to hammer an anvil for a while. Parallel to all of this, a beep alerted Amethyst that she had new messages from the Family.

“Talk to you later, Big Momma. I’ll keep you posted.”

“Yeah.” 

Bismuth didn’t truly cry until Amethyst was gone. 

Diamond was sitting on a bench near the warp pad, decompressing. The afternoon sun was nice and comfortable, even if the wind was a bit cold. The sound of Gems and children playing filled the air, as well as some construction. He didn’t plan on staying for so long that he would notice these things. 

He kept replaying the confrontation with Bismuth in his head. She had never been secretive about her feelings, but part of him always wanted to make amends, or at least be in the same room together at some point without it turning into a screaming match. Or a pity party, like he made it. 

A voice in his head kept telling him it wasn’t fair, but Diamond didn’t quite know if it was talking about his situation or hers. Maybe both. 

He sighed to himself, shifting positions. Earth always did this to him. It always involved seeing people who hated him, and who he probably should hate back, but just couldn’t. It didn’t dominate his thoughts nowadays, but he used to always wonder how much of his relationships were Steven’s and how much of it were his. How much people actually wanted to know him, as opposed to wanting to be there when Steven miraculously came back, and everything went back to the way it was. And, sometimes, how much of his liking of people was just Steven again, like a specter who wanted him to keep his friends around.

Diamond couldn’t quite forget how Steven felt about Connie, and he struggled with that meant for their own relationship when Steven died. He had just seen proof that some parts of his mind connected back to Steven’s memories when he needed them the most. An automatic part. Not to the man himself. It would be too easy if it was. 

It used to be easier, he kept thinking. When he could just turn this awful feeling in his chest off. When he could just work.

“Yo.” 

Amethyst took him out of his spiral again; apparently something short, loud Gems were good at doing. She was holding a pizza box from Fish Stew’s in one hand, and her communication disk on another.

“Got some grub.” She announced, sitting on the other side of the bench and leaving the box between them. She opened it to reveal a beautiful half-tuna, half-pineapple and ham pie, with stuffed crust. 

Diamond took a slice, feeling a little excited. It had been years since he had any pizza, and nowadays Fish Stew bordered on perfect for him. The greasy bread did wonders for his humor.

“Thank you so much.” He said, a smile drenching his voice. “Do I owe you anything for this?”

“I’m thinkin’ a castle.” Amethyst joked. “Small village too, in a nice moon somewhere.”

“Hmmm.” Maybe stuffing his face wasn’t quite right, but he was going through that slice fast. “Bring it up at the next meeting, we’ll talk.”

They stayed silent for a moment or two, enjoying the meal. Diamond had never had a quiet moment with Amethyst before, not one that didn’t feel wrong. This wasn’t that important to him right now, but it did color his thoughts. 

“Check it out.” 

Amethyst had the disk floating in front of them, which eventually generated the hologram from before. This time it was only Roxxie, apparently on a workstation.

“Roxxie, you mind summarizing what you told me?” Amethyst asked, grabbing another slice.

“Ah, man, you guys are eating pizza?” She complained. “I haven’t eaten anything that wasn’t sugar crystals in weeks.”

“Beach City’s greatest, baby.” Amethyst said, smiling. “I’ll bring you girls a few pies when I warp back, don’t worry.”

“Get me that pepper onyx thing, alright? Love those little circles." Roxxie typed something into her computer, which was mirrored into the hologram. “I was looking through our defense network, searching for sightings of a shining Lapis, but I couldn’t find any. I did find this, though.”

Diamond watched as a line connected at least ten planets in that galactic quadrant, in a seemingly random pattern. 

“These planets used to be exploration colonies for Eras 1 and 2, and so they had some automatic sensors we took into our network. A lot of those don’t work anymore, but the ones in these places started to report something weird with the water levels.”

“Water levels?” Diamond repeated. “Peridot was on the right track, then. Lapis was going to old colonies. And with what we found out about Bismuth’s device…”

“Yeah, it seems like homegirl spent some time collecting water. Lots of it.” Amethyst zoomed in on one of the planets. “These don’t have anyone living in them anymore, and the warp pads weren’t used. So she flew to these places. Must have taken a long time.”

“First reading discrepancy is from around 20 Earth months ago. ” Roxxie confirmed. “ That being said, the last one was around six months ago, and we do have a visual on that world. If she’s there, she’s hiding well.”

“Maybe she got enough water?” He theorized. “She’s obviously doing this on purpose and very carefully, otherwise she’d just grab it from one world and be done with it.”

“And you didn’t even notice she had an entire world’s water supply when she went in and out of your Gemstone?” Amethyst asked, shoving the rest of a slice into her face and mmmm ’ing in pleasure. 

Diamond grimaced, wondering about that too.

“Apparently not.” He admitted. “Tourmaline is probably going to be fascinated. I guess real mass doesn’t matter for my storage.” 

“I got a fat joke in here somewhere, give me a minute.” Amethyst looked at the hologram again. “Thanks, Roxxie. We’ll figure out what to do from here.”

“And hey, bring the spicy mayo with the pies! The homemade one!” 

She turned the device off, putting it in her pocket. The pizza was almost done. 

“So, what now?” Amethyst asked him. “We got somewhere with Bismuth and we know Lapis has lots of water for some reason.”

“If she’s done this for only 20 months, it probably isn’t an actual planet’s worth, though.” Diamond said, cleaning his hands on his pants. “That’s way too much, it would have taken longer. Probably only enough to cover an asteroid, or…”

“... a moon?”

The suggestion froze Diamond. Yes, a moon. It was the obvious end of his sentence. But the idea…

“You don’t think she would attack Nora, do you?” He asked, almost as if asking for reassurance. “I mean, she doesn’t like me, but… there’s thousands of Gems there.”

“I…” Amethyst was unusually serious for a moment. Her eyes looked around as if she was looking for the words, trying to find a way out of this train of thought. “I don’t know, she’s been crazy before, but it’s… would Lapis really do that out of spite? That’s a big guess.”

“She could just kill me.” He said, blunt. “But I think she knows it wouldn’t really mean that much to me.”

“Geez.” Amethyst exclaimed, a little weirded out. 

“But if she drowned the Blue Moon… if she flooded it, we couldn’t recover. The environment’s still too fragile. We’d have to abandon everything.”

“Hey, maybe she’s got another use for the water.” Amethyst tried, a weak smile forming on her face. “Maybe she just wants to water a really big garden or something.”

But it made too much sense in Diamond’s head, and it scared him. So many of the people who lived inside him did so they could be closer to the project, and willingly, but Lapis was the furthest away from that situation one could be. She didn’t care about them. She didn’t care about the work, or the colony, or anything he had done. If she had grown wary of working with Pearl, if she really wanted to get at him, and everyone he cared about…

“I have to go back.” Diamond said, standing up. “She’s been preparing for something, and maybe she was just waiting for me to leave. I need to–”

“Hey, hey, buddy, calm down.” Amethyst jumped from the bench, looking annoyed. “This whole thing started with you saying you were worried about her, and now you’re ready to fight her? Were you lying to me?”

“No, I– you said it yourself, she’s been unstable before!” Diamond snapped, anxiety growing in his chest. “What if she figures the people in the colony should have known better than to side with me? What if she hurts them?”

“What if she doesn’t, though?” Amethyst shot back, stepping toward him. “Ten years with the girl and you haven’t ever talked to her, or so Peridot tells us. You don’t know what’s in her head, you can’t prove she’s a psycho like that!”

“Then what’s your plan?!” 

“I don’t know, man, you’re the smart one!”

Exasperated, both of them broke off from the argument, annoyed after raising their voices. People around them were starting to stare. Diamond was recognized easily, and apparently so was Amethyst.

“We should get out of here.” He said. “There’s gotta be a place Peridot wouldn’t think about checking where Lapis could hide.”

Amethyst thought about it for a second, only to slap her own head eventually.

“Oh, duh, a really big garden.”

“What?”

The Garden looked different from the last time any version of Diamond had been there.

He vaguely remembered a conversation with Spinel around when his existence became inevitable. It had become overrun with weeds and flowers in places they were never meant to be, but it was unkempt and chaotic. Now, it was thriving. Roses of all sizes, thorny and otherwise, neatly organized in beds that seemed to climb onto every pillar and structure. 

A lot of the debris had been cleaned out; to where, he did not know. Some new structures seemed to have been built, or have been cut into previous ones until they looked natural. But the most impressive feature was the lake.

Where there had been a fountain and some adornments in the past, someone had caved in the ground and poured water in. Fish, honest to the stars organic fish were swimming and jumping around. It smelled like the ocean in there now, but somehow not of salt. It smelled good.

“Whoa.” Amethyst said, slowly making her way from the pad. “I guess we hit the jackpot on this one.”

“She must have been caring for this for a while.” Diamond pointed out. “Some of these plants have taken roots where dead ones were, last time I was here. And these fish…” 

He approached the lake, not knowing what to expect. 

“They’re alive and well, but there shouldn’t be any food for them.”

Amethyst kept looking around, a little overwhelmed. It really was just a beautiful garden again. Last time she was here, it had been the headquarters for the small revolution she pulled off with the Quartz Family. It wasn’t exactly nostalgic, but to see it now…

“I wonder if Spinel knows.” She said to herself. “She might even like it.”

“Amethyst.” 

Diamond called her from the edge of the lake. She approached him.

“What?”

“Do you see that?” He pointed to the water.

“What, Kofi the Fish over there? Sure, it…”

Whatever joke she had planned was never completed. Diamond was right, there was something under the lake. A smooth sphere, so perfect it was hard to see. But impossible to ignore once you knew what to look for.

There were smudges of something underneath it. Browns and reds and blues that could be objects or rocks. But more than that, there was something luminescent. A Light form.

“Lapis.” Diamond whispered. “She’s here.”

“Hey, hey, what are you gonna do?” 

“I have to stop her.” Diamond floated up, electricity crackling in his hands. He caught himself wondering if the best course of action was to burst the bubble and reabsorb her, or just–

“Quit it.” 

He looked at Amethyst, who had two whips in hand, and the fierce gaze he recognized from so long ago. 

“How many times do I gotta remind you, big man? I walked in here with you because you told me you were worried. I'm gonna ask you again: were you lying to me?”

“And how many times do I have to remind you that she might be planning to kill thousands of Gems?” This same annoying argument again. This is why he didn’t live with them, they couldn’t–

“You don’t know that. You’re just assuming she’s crazy because you don’t respect her.”

“What?” He spat out. “What is this, now?”

“Think about it, dude!” She yelled, like it was something obvious. “Ever since you were born you saw Lapis like some chick you could do whatever you wanted with! You had some weird connection with her that ended in the worst way possible!”

“I’m not like that anymore.” The electricity went away, replaced with hurt in his voice. “I-I was incomplete, but–”

“But nothing, Diamond, you wouldn’t be getting ready for a fight if it was anyone else. You don’t know Lapis. You never knew Lapis, and you’re assuming she’s some crazy girl who can’t function when you’re involved in things. Like she can’t have a bad thought and then give up on it just because you’re at the center! Like you rule her life!”

The pit of anger in his stomach was only comparable in size to a strange, equally relevant pit of shame, that he didn’t quite know where it was coming from. He could almost feel his cheeks growing red with embarrassment. 

“Y-you’re acting like I’m her crazy ex-boyfriend.” He stuttered, landing where he had been standing. “Like I manipulated her into this, or something.”

Amethyst didn’t reply. She just kept looking at him, like she was expecting him to fill the silence.

“Maybe when I was… when Jasper…” His words failed him. His mind drew a blank, a sensation he detested. The pit of shame grew larger. “B-but I liked her. I really did, even back then. It wasn’t… I wasn’t lying.”

“Rose Quartz loved all of us.” Amethyst said, a shadow over her voice that made it almost unrecognizable. Her hand moved to point out the Garden. “And look at what she did. Think about Spinel and tell me about liking people again.”

“That’s not fair.” He felt out of breath. He would prefer if she used her weapons. “I’m not Rose.”

“No. You’re the guy who fused with Lapis permanently.” Amethyst put her weapons back into her Gem, approaching him. “How did that happen?”

Diamond couldn’t bring himself to reply. 

There wasn’t a real separation between his time as the Authority and his existence now. His memories were clear, he just found himself reacting differently to them now. But he never really thought… yes, he knew he did wrong by Lapis, but never…

“She’s down there because of me.” He said, with a distant voice. “I’m the problem. She was running away.”

“I don’t know.” Amethyst admitted. “Maybe. Heck, maybe she is planning on drowning your Gems. But you shouldn’t assume anything. You should actually talk to her. I mean, really talk to her.”

He felt like crawling into a hole and dying, but forced himself to look into the water again. 

“And what if she doesn’t want to talk to me?” He asked, stepping toward the edge. “What if…”

He didn’t complete the sentence. It didn’t matter, at the end of the day, and he knew it. Amethyst sat down on a rock. 

“I’ll be here when you’re ready to go.” 

Nodding at her and with an expression of pain in his face, he gently jumped in.

The water was cold, but not uncomfortable. He didn’t need to breathe, and his floating still worked wonders underwater. This lake was much deeper than it seemed, and it was brimming with life.

The dome was made out of the same material the one that surrounded the Garden was, or at least something similar enough. Inside it was a room of sorts, with a bed, some decorations on the walls, a coffee maker and a portable television, even if it all seemed like it wouldn’t work. It was half inside the actual rock of the Garden and half outside, making it so part of it was surrounded by stars, and another was surrounded by water.

But none of that really stuck on Diamond’s mind. He saw her. There was Lapis.

She looked awful.

His Light forms still reacted to the environment. Her clothes were ripped, a little worse for wear, and her hair was longer than last time they met. He had seen Gem forms reflect their emotional state before, but never like this. She was sitting near the star side of the dome, staring into the distance. 

“Lapis?” He tried saying, then remembering he was underwater and speaking was useless. Should he knock? 

Diamond touched the structure and realized it felt like one of his bubbles. That it wasn’t glass was probably obvious, but he never really stopped thinking about how the dome was made in the first place. Pink Diamond’s technology, likely. Meaning he could bubble himself into the place. Would Lapis attack him on sight? 

Only one way to find out.

He made a shield sphere around himself, then let the water go as he merged both of them. Slowly and carefully not to let water in, he transferred himself to the strange bedroom. There was air in here, meaning it probably got it from the plants.

Lapis did not move.

“Lapis.” He tried again. 

She kept sitting on her chair, unmoving, looking at the stars. The conversation Diamond had with Amethyst was still in his mind, which was probably making him a lot more hesitant to be here.

“Peridot is worried.” He said after more silence. “She asked me to summon her when I found you. Can–”

“No.”

Her sweet voice, usually so pleasant, came out deeper than usual. Tired and monotone. 

“I’m worried too.” He continued. “You disappeared.”

The combination of being underwater and in space made silence in that strange place feel horrible. More silent than any other location probably was; a specific kind of artificial isolation he’d never even imagined.

“What are you going to use the water–”

“Go away.”

The command was strained, annoyed and uninterested in him all at the same time. He might have even acquiesced if her form hadn't glitched, like a hologram being interrupted. She didn’t seem to wince when it happened.

“Lapis, I don’t think you can exist outside of the Beach for this long.” He said, carefully, taking a step forward. “Please, just come back and we’ll–”

“Come closer and I will kill you.”

She would, too. He knew it. Diamond did not know how to move on from this. So, instead of trying, he simply sat on the side of the bed, looking at the back of Lapis’s chair. 

They stayed like this for a long time. The overwhelming silence would have driven Diamond mad if he was here by himself, he eventually concluded. Something about the entire situation made his skin crawl. Maybe it was the allegations, who knows.

“Who else knows I’m here?” Lapis asked him, eventually. She still wouldn’t move.

“Amethyst. She came with me.”

“God damn it.”

He saw her hand reaching for her forehead, as if she was nursing a headache. He could see a little bit of her reflection on the inner side of the dome. Her leg was going up and down in frustration.

“Just wanted to be alone.” She said under her breath. “You won’t even let me be alone. You won’t let me leave, you won’t let me be alone, you won’t let me…”

“Lapis, I–”

“Shut up, shut up, shut your mouth–”

“What is happening?” He ignored her, getting frustrated himself. “What do you want from me?”

“I WANT YOU TO LET ME DIE.”

She got up and turned toward him, eyes wide open and fists shaking. Angry, Lapis grabbed her chair and threw it on the ground, screaming bloody murder while doing it. 

“I JUST WANT TO DIE, DIAMOND.” She paced around her room while yelling, sometimes looking at him, other times looking nowhere in particular. Sometimes her hands went up to her hair so she could pull on it. “IS IT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND THAT I HATE YOU? THAT I HATE MY LIFE?”

 “Calm down, you’re gonna–”

With one movement of her hand, she threw a water construct that held Diamond by the throat, a grip stronger than he remembered feeling in years. The surprise almost had him fight back and hurt her, but he held fast. She wasn’t okay. He wasn’t going to attack her.

“L-Lapis.” He tried saying, but the water eventually went over his head. She held him above the bed as if trying to suffocate him.

He watched as Lapis, hand forward, trembled with power and anger. But eventually her stance softened, and then collapsed, alongside the construct. His large form hit the floor hard, but it didn’t hurt. 

However, hearing her crying did.

“What’s the point.” She moaned to herself, on the floor. “What would be the damn point of killing you? I can’t do it. You’re stronger than me. You’d just pull me back inside.”

Her crying was ugly. She would sometimes hit the floor with her hands, at least one with her head. Diamond had never felt more confused and utterly lost before. What could he do? What could anyone do?

Her form glitched again, and this time it looked like it hurt. Whatever force she had left on her body failed her and she fully fell to the floor, sobbing loudly while at it.

“I just want it to end.” She half cried, half yelled. “If I wait here longer, it’s going to end, and I’m going to be free of you, and everything else– ”

His breathing got more and more erratic as she got worse. It was like he, himself, was having a breakdown, and not one of the strongest women in the universe right in front of him. He couldn’t figure out what came next. It kept getting worse. He kept making things worse.

I can’t stay here he heard himself say, but it felt like it was someone else saying it. I can’t stay here, it’s all my fault, I can’t stay here no no no No NO NO–

Next thing he knew he was forcefully leaving the bubble, having as much care as he could to not burst it. But he didn’t know if it worked. He was flying away so fast he almost feared hitting the outer layer.

He burst out of the lake in a frenzy, startling Amethyst. When he landed, it was on his knees, having the worst panic attack he’d had in years.

“Diamond, what is it?” He was vaguely aware of Amethyst on his side, touching his back instinctively. She couldn’t help but take care of people in need. “Where’s Lapis?”

“Back. Back, get back.” He mumbled loud enough that she understood it, just in time.

The wave of Blue came out of his Gemstone first, followed by Yellow, Pink and White. He had gone through this before. This overwhelming feeling of having too much inside himself, and having to let it out somehow. But he couldn’t do it here, not near Amethyst, not near Lapis. What would usually have filled the entire Garden with his unshackled emotions was reduced to a lightshow extending a few meters away from him, like he was holding the sun with his bare hands. 

It hurt. It hurt so much. So many voices in his head told him this was all his fault. Were these real? Were they the people inside him? Was it him? Was it all him?

He physically felt himself bringing the light back in. It was like needles going into his chest, and he would probably need to release these at another time, but not now. He wouldn’t make things worse, at least this one time. 

When it was finally over, Diamond felt himself nearly dry heaving. He was exhausted, on his knees in this beautiful garden full of nearly untouched life. His ears ringed like an explosion had happened too close to him. Part of him felt like if he moved, he would shatter.

He could do a lot to contain his emotions, but he couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down.

“Hey, what’s…?” 

Amethyst approached him again, this time carefully. All of his filters were down. He couldn’t hold back any more.

“Everywhere I go, people hate me.” He cried, still with his face down. “I ruined everything Amethyst, I ruined everything I cared about. I thought I could make up for it, but I can’t. I can’t do it. I can’t do anything without hurting people I love again and again and–”

He couldn’t hear Amethyst getting closer over his crying, but eventually, she was right next to his face. Through his tears, he looked up and saw the Gem looking like a monument to conflict. It’s not how she used to look at Steven. He was hyper aware of how different it was.

“It’s…” She tried saying. Maybe some variation of it’s going to be okay, but it never came out. “I don’t…”

After a few seconds with that sentence hanging, Amethyst took a deep breath herself, trying to look maybe more resolute than she actually was.

“I don’t hate you, Diamond. You just really bum me out. I miss my little brother too much.”

Couldn’t do it. Crying was the only way. Nothing else he could focus on. Diamond did manage to sit and hold his head, which was more comfortable than the position he was in before. Small victories.

He felt Amethyst hold his shoulder from the side. She didn’t deserve this, a part of him thought. Come on, man, you have a job to do. Stop this.

But it didn’t work. Nothing was working. He didn’t know what to do. Lapis needed help and he couldn’t even stay in the same room as her. He didn’t–

“Hey, what is up with your Gem?” Amethyst asked, a hint of worry in her voice. 

It was shining, he finally noticed. Someone was coming out. A pink light floated from his chest and landed in front of them, forming immediately into a slender, royal form.

“Pearl.” Diamond whispered, almost not believing what he was seeing. 

There she was. Cracked eye, two buns on the sides of her head, beautiful ballet outfit. A cold, unfeeling stare watching him. A stare he could swear he could see in his nightmares, sometimes. 

Captain Pearl nodded amicably toward Amethyst, but did not speak. She simply walked, almost weightless, toward the edge of the lake, and plummeted deep within. The water almost didn’t have to give way to her.

The two were silent for a while, waiting to see what would happen. They did not know how long it took, but eventually, Captain Pearl came back. She was holding a sleeping Lapis Lazuli in her arms. 

Without another word, she looked around one final time, as if taking the Garden in. She took a deep breath and became pure light once again, going back into Diamond’s Gemstone.

More silence. But a different kind. One of utter shock and of a loss for words. 

Diamond and Amethyst went back to Beach City. It was nighttime now, and Little Homeworld’s activity was subdued. They had decided to stop by the house before saying their goodbyes, mostly because Amethyst was the one who really made the decision of warping out of there.

He asked to go to the bathroom, and washed his face. Looking at himself in the mirror, he remembered one time when Steven was still around, and he looked into this exact mirror. He saw White Diamond back then, staring at him from the Void. She gave him too much to feel when he wasn’t ready. He didn’t get it.

But now there was just him. Nothing mystical would pop out and explain his situation. Nobody would come to help him. No matter how unexpected Pearl’s appearance had been, that is. 

When Diamond came out of the bathroom, Amethyst was talking to the Jaspers on her communicator, sitting on the inner side of the kitchen counter. It didn’t seem very serious, but she sounded tired. He waited until she turned it off to approach.

“Oh, hey.” She greeted him, her eyes a bit bloodshot. Not as much as his, but it was noticeable. “Just letting the girls know it all worked out.”

“That’s good. Thanks for your help, Amethyst.” 

“No problem.” He broke eye contact for a minute, hitting the counter with her fingers rhythmically. “Hey, uh, do you mind if we talk for a bit?”

Diamond nodded, sitting on a stool, facing Amethyst. The counter itself wasn’t that large, so they were somewhat closer than he expected. But it didn’t seem to bother her.

“So you said some things back at the Garden.” She said, still having to look up to face him. 

“I’m sorry about that, it’s just, Lapis was really bad.” He replied, feeling the exhaustion in his chest. He then repeated to himself: “ Really bad. I couldn’t do anything, I panicked.”

“I figured, but,” She continued, unabated by his deflecting. “You didn’t figure that out because of her, yeah? That was on your mind already.”

He made a face, like he was eating something sour. This wasn’t a conversation he ever thought he would have with Amethyst.

“It’s all true.” He heard a weight in his voice that reminded him of chains. “A decade later and it’s still true. I did ruin everything. Everyone I ever loved does hate me. You–”

“I don’t. I don’t hate you.” She interrupted him. “I meant what I said.”

“Just this morning you were–”

“-- being a jerk to you because it hurts.” She put a hand up. “But I don't hate you. I’m not… I can’t do that, man. Hating people is hard work.”

He raised an eyebrow, amused.

“I’m serious! I-it’s, it’s, I don’t know how people do it.” Amethyst threw her hands up, exasperated, as if she was just complaining about traffic or any other casual subject. “People wake up every day and they already know what they think, and it’s all negative? That’s crazy! That’s insane, I don’t do that. I can’t do that. I-I tried, and I couldn’t.”

“Did you try to hate me?”

“No. Jasper.” 

He knew which Jasper she meant. She couldn’t quite maintain eye contact when saying this, but she carried on.

“I know she wasn’t a good person, and I know she… probably had it coming. Especially after what she did to Lapis, and what she was doing to Homeworld… I’m not saying I don’t get it. But when you… did what you did, and talked about it so casually…”

“Amethyst, I had–”

“A thing in your head, I know, I remember.” She didn’t mean to sound dismissive, but it was hard not to. “I’m just saying I felt like you took something away from me. I think I could have helped her. If she could have joined the Fam, if she had people who sounded and looked like her doing things in a different way, maybe… I don’t know.”

She took a deep breath, lightly tapping the counter before continuing. 

“It was hard not to think about it every time I thought about you, for a while. And then Steven, and… and Lapis, and Peridot, and everything that happened. That final fight we had with you as Alexandrite… man, when you showed up with Greg afterward, I almost cracked right there and then. We were all so tired from fighting, and now you had a hostage? I mean what? Shut it down.” 

She laughed, like she had just told a funny joke and not a harrowing description of his day of self-actualization.

“But I’ve… I’ve been to Nora, right. I’ve talked to you and your people, and Connie’s talked to me a lot. About this, and about Jasper, and about Homeworld, and… and I just, I see it, man. I guess that’s what I’m saying.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I see that you’re trying.” 

She gestured wildly, as if it would make her point better understood. 

“I see that you feel bad, and I see that you don’t like what you did and you really want to make it better, but… it was really bad, Diamond. You almost killed everyone.”

“I know. I know, and I left so you could forget about–”

“But that’s the thing man, you could have stayed!” This time she hit the counter, startling the man. “You could have apologized, and when we said we didn’t care, you could have worked with us! You could have made us see that you meant it! Like Peridot did! Like Lapis did! Like so many people did, so many people here were villains and we don’t mind anymore!”

“But you hated me!” Diamond’s voice quivered, with the slightest hint of aggravation. “From day one! What was I supposed to do, take it? Just pretend you weren’t all mad at me over Steven? Of course I left, Amethyst, nothing I did would ever be good enough for anyone! Poor Connie lost friends because of me, I couldn’t–”

“Dude, people can be friends with whoever they want.” She interrupted him again. “Those guys stopped talking to Connie because they wanted to. You don’t got anything to do with that.”

“They stopped talking to her because she was talking to me.”

“Would it have been different if they wanted to talk to her but not to you?” She leaned in to make her point. “You remember being friends with Lars and Sadie, yeah? Would it have made you feel as guilty? Would you have left then?”

“Well, no, it’s not the same, that’s different.”

“Is it not the same because you’re special, or because this was all just an excuse?”

“Oh come on, Amethyst.” He threw his hands in defeat. “What are you saying, then? I should have stayed? That I just didn’t feel like it?”

“No, I’m saying you didn’t stay because you were afraid of us.”

He didn’t have a response to it that wasn’t just another version of yelling yes or nos, which happened quite a bit with Amethyst. It didn’t look like she was done, anyway. It just looked like it was too hard to say in one go.

“Of course you were afraid, man; if I woke up and everyone around me didn’t like me the same way, I would be terrified. I’m not saying I don’t get it, I’m just saying you… you ran on us, Diamond, you ran away. You didn’t let us get over it, you didn’t give us time, you… Steven died and you didn’t let us grieve for him.” 

“That’s not fair.” He droned. “Don’t say it like that. I was grieving, too.”

“We changed his diapers, Diamond. We saw every day of his life and, and then you were gone, and we were so confused about what had happened; Lapis was gone, Peridot was gone, Captain Pearl was gone, everything changed so fast–”

She was making an enormous effort not to break down in tears, and it wasn’t working entirely. He could see some streaming down her face, some mucus coming out of her nose, and her voice losing its strength. The night outside was quiet. This was his entire universe, for a while.

“– and then a week later you just say, yeah I’m out, I’m gone too, come visit if you want to, we’re gonna have a big city in the sky and it’s going to be just me and whoever wants to come with me, and you’re all invited, but I know you’re not coming–”

“That’s not how it happened.”

“It’s how it sounded to us, man! Who cares how it actually happened! That’s what it felt like for everyone! And you weren’t here to say otherwise!”

She wept softly under her own hand, trying to hold everything in, like he had done earlier that day. Maybe that’s where he got it from, now that he thought about it.

“W-What I’m saying,” Amethyst eventually muttered again, gripping her emotions with a tight fist. “Is that it’s not that we hate you. W-we hate what you made us go through. We hate that you didn’t give yourself a chance to make it better. You left and went to have another family, one that didn’t even know you, and we just… you visited us, sometimes. God, I–”

Amethyst got up from her seat and grabbed a roll of paper towels, blowing her nose violently onto it. Disgusting, but it didn’t really affect Diamond that much. It was kinda cute, in a weird way. He also had a lot to think about right now, so the break was appreciated.

“I don’t blame you, man.” Amethyst finally said after a while, sounding conclusive. “There’s just a lot, every time we’re together.”

“I don’t know how to respond.” 

His internal life was never anything short of complex. Between being made out of multiple millenia-old beings and having a lot of human heart thrown in for good measure, Diamond was constantly double, triple-guessing himself.

This conversation was ruining that lifestyle. It stunned him to even be having it. He had surrounded himself with people who barely asked how his day was going for a decade. This was bordering on a new experience.

“I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore.” Diamond said, dejected. “I don’t know how to explain what it felt like to… to feel, I guess. To have this entire part of my life that I didn’t have the context for just change overnight in my head, change for the worse. I was so bad to everyone here, I…” 

He rubbed his Gemstone for a second, nervous.

“I thought if I stayed, you would just throw me out eventually. That no one would ever have any reason to keep me around after what I did. A-and the Gems that were interested in what I said, we… we really hit it off. I thought I could build something out of it.”

“Me too.” Amethyst said, getting back on her stool. “When the Fam started talking about splintering off, I kinda thought I found my people. I made a lot of bad decisions here on Earth, I was excited to leave.”

“So you get it.” He uttered. “You understand.” 

“Yeah, but, the day before, Garnet…” 

Amethyst stopped, looking almost embarrassed. Diamond beckoned her forth, curious.

“She, well, she told me there was a mission.” Amethyst recounted. “We went to this forest, and we were supposed to hunt a Gem mutant that got away.”

No.

“Then it took like, all day, and she made a bonfire, and it was really nice. And then she said, ‘Amethyst, you have a very unique opportunity here.’”

“Oh my stars.” Diamond said under his breath, but Amethyst didn’t hear it.

“‘You’re immortal, you can either close yourself off from people and just do what you like, or you can’, uh… what did…”

“‘Or you can work on yourself.’” Diamond completed the sentence, mouth agape between words. “‘Find a work-life balance, connect to people here and everywhere, trust people.’”

Amethyst looked at him like she was losing her mind.

“How do you…?”

“She said the same thing to me!” He exclaimed.

“She did WHAT?!”

“The same thing! With the bonfire! And the Gem monster!” He was so shocked, all the sadness left his voice.

“And the speech?!”

“THE WHOLE SPEECH!”

“SHE SAID IT WAS A REALLY UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY!”

“SHE SAID THAT TO ME, TOO!”

Stunned silence floated between them before being replaced by thunderous laughter. Laughter coming from the gut, that Diamond hadn’t felt in years. Laughter so overwhelming that Amethyst fell to the floor from her position, holding her stomach while rolling, laughing even more. Laughter so hard his head started to feel light, and then his chest. His entire face went red. 

Stars, that woman had them around her finger. She was so good at this. She was so good to them. 

“I can’t, man,” Amethyst babbled on the floor, barely able to take enough air in to talk. “I can’t with this, oh my god I thought it was so deep too.”

“It was deep!” Diamond managed to get out, struggling himself. “You made the right call! You stuck around more!”

She laughed a bit more, before managing to get up and look at Diamond.

“What did you choose, then?”

“Huh?”

“What did you think of the speech, dude?” Amethyst asked, still jovial. “I mean, I thought it was pretty good. I visit like, every week because of it.”

“Oh.”

You can lock yourself away in your base, never interacting with anyone, and letting Steven's connections to this Earth fade away over time.

Or, you can work on your work-life balance, connect with the people here, trust Gems to control themselves, and make your life worth living. Travel, discover, experience. Be alive with us, or anyone else you deem worth having around.

“Yeah.” Diamond said slowly, his headrush fading away over time. “It was pretty good, wasn’t it.”

There's no purpose in life other than to live well. That's what thousands of years in this place have taught me.

Amethyst took another deep breath to center herself, still giggling a bit. Then she yawned. 

“Oh, God, what a day.” She stretched while talking. “Don’t get me wrong man, but you gotta bounce, I’m gonna pass out.”

“I should be going, yeah. That was… thanks for the chat.”

“Nah, thank you man, that was a lot to get out of my chest.” 

He got off his stool and realized this was the first time in his entire life that he and Amethyst were on the same page. That they had laughed and cried together like he always wanted. It felt good, even if he was exhausted.

“Hey, Amethyst,”

“Uh-huh?”

“You think we can get Fish Stew Pizza to cater for our next meeting?” He asked, smiling. 

Amethyst’s smile took over her entire face.

“Oh fffduuude.”

Diamond’s bedroom was always quiet, but it felt especially so this evening.

It had been a particularly full day. His head was killing him ever since the final warp pad trip, but it’s not like they had headache medication up on Blue Moon.  

He did his rituals. Spent some time on the porch watching the busy streets. Stared at the night sky and counted the Homeworld rings. Had some water; that was a new addition, since it was difficult to store water here. After this adventure, he might abolish it in his house, honestly. Stuff’s creepy.

He never ended up finding out what was going on with Lapis, Diamond thought. With everything that he went through, it slipped by. He made it about himself again and someone else got involved. But he supposed he could find out later. 

It’s not like he had to sleep, but he wanted to. The kind of exhaustion he had demanded it. He couldn’t recall the last time he had been this tired.

Almost too tired, even. Like he was being called.

This isn’t a nightmare.

None of the usual things happened. He couldn’t feel the miasma of guilt and pain surrounding him. Nothing flashes before his eyes; instead, he was simply standing in front of a house near the Pink Beach. 

He recognized this house, even. The last time he saw it, his brother died. 

Wordlessly, Diamond walked forward, and wasn’t at all shocked when the door opened by itself. It was a recreation of Steven’s childhood house. Imperfect, with some parts missing, as if the memories were fading away. 

Pink Pearl was there, sitting on the same chair Steven had sat last time.

Diamond walked in, and the door closed behind him. He took his place and sat facing Pearl. None of them spoke for a while.

This isn’t a dream either, he thought. If it were a dream, Steven would be here. This is real.

As if satisfied with the length of silence they had endured, Captain Pearl crossed her legs and spoke.

“I wanted to personally thank you for finding Lapis.” Her good eye looked at him unblinking, unpreoccupied. “We were all very worried.”

“It’s the least I could do. Amethyst and Peridot did most of the heavy lifting.” He didn’t mean to sound so defeated, but that’s what came out. “How is she?”

“Unwell.” Pearl admitted. “She has been hurting for a while. But you did not force her to join the Beach again. That would have probably been disastrous.”

He didn’t answer. It’s not as if he had made a decision. He panicked and left, feeling sick. A rescue hardly worth laurels.

“What happens now?” Diamond asked. “With her? Or, um…”

“Us? Is that what you mean to ask?” She leaned in a bit, as if testing him. 

“I suppose, yes. We do live together, in a way. You had said we would never speak again, but here we are.” 

“Do not expect there to be much else to discuss with me in the future.”

The atmosphere changed. He could see his breath, impossible as it was. It was cold. Ah, yes. Now it’s a nightmare.

But then it stopped, almost as if Pearl pulled the reins back on the world. Like that hadn’t happened because she wanted it to, but she could still stop it. She composed herself, never quite breaking eye contact. 

“About Lapis,” she continued, as if nothing had happened. “I do believe it would be best if you spoke to her. Or, rather, if she spoke to you.”

“The last time we did this didn’t go very well, Pearl.”

“She was having a very acute episode, My Diamond.” 

He looked at her a bit dumbfounded until it finally dawned on him, like a shadow over his eyes.

“Oh my stars, did I never… I’m sorry, Pearl, you do not need to call me that anymore. I didn’t think…”

She raised her hand to stop him, a grave look in her eyes.

“I do not need your pity, Diamond. But it is good to be released from your last command.” 

A strand of hair left her perfectly curated hairline, almost as if betraying the façade. She put it back almost immediately. 

“Lapis and I have spoken since she returned. It has been a bit more time for us than it has for you. She is doing well enough that she has agreed to my terms.”

“And those are?”

“Catharsis, Diamond.” Captain Pearl got up from her chair, slowly approaching him. “My patient needs catharsis, and she needs it from you.”

She raised her hand to touch him, and he didn’t bother saying she couldn’t. It was her Beach, after all. He was just the carrier. 

Diamond would never get used to Captain Pearl’s powers. Like a direct shock to one’s mind, the ultimate expression of empathy. To be able to truly feel how someone else feels, with all the context, all that one needs to have in order to understand it.

Lapis wanted to kill herself.

There was no other way to describe it. It was as clear as day, and as simple as it got. A cube whose every side looked identical, with no nuance or anything Diamond could tell himself could also be going on. 

It was the type of certainty people wake up with; a baseline thought that molded every decision you make. A sound you can’t tune out for long, a hint of it came out in all of her words. Something that builds inside oneself until it bursts them open, and washes everything around them until it’s all they can see. The polar opposite of a reason to be. 

Pearl broke contact with his arm, and it felt like taking a breath of fresh air after almost drowning. Diamond blinked several times before his eyes adjusted again. If he didn’t know any better, he would think his blood stopped flowing while he was experiencing Lapis’s feelings.

“Have you been holding this in this entire time?” He asked, almost gasping. “How can you do that?”

“It is what I am made to do.” 

But he could hear it, now. The slight tinge in her voice. The subtle differences in how a sentence should sound. She felt it. It was heavy even for her.

“I am not saying you will save or fix her if you agree to talk to her.” She concluded, almost as if all of this had been a train of thought made with simple points. “But I am saying that she is currently stable enough to talk, and if she does not close the book you two opened, her chances are much slimmer.” 

Diamond got up, noticing the stairs toward the second floor seemed to have reformed during their chat. They led into some sort of shimmering light. He couldn’t see beyond it. 

“I assume she’s up there.” He guessed.

“Yes. Will you do it?”

“Of course.” A thought pierced his defenses, not that he really fought that much against it. “Is it my fault, Pearl? Did I do this to her?”

Captain Pearl stared at him like she would stare at a dog caught after destroying some heirloom. Her gaze was pitiful, with a healthy dose of maturity and understanding of the situation.

“Don’t be silly, Diamond. You’re not that important to her.” She slapped his back twice, as if to wish him good luck. “All you did was make it worse.”

They were back in the damn room again.

It was exactly as it was under the Garden, except this time her chair was pointed sideways, as if to make it so she couldn’t ignore visits. Since this was still the Beach, she was also in her own blues, as opposed to the neutral whites all the Light forms had. She wasn’t damaged anymore, either; Lapis had transformed her clothes into a somewhat larger dress than he was used to, flowing and sleeveless. It suited her. Of course, it wasn’t flowing right now– she was still watching the stars, fake or not.

“Hello, Lapis.” Diamond said, walking in through an impossible door that poofed away as soon as he closed it. “You seem to be doing better.”

“Hm.”

Somehow, he got Just Because Pearl Said I Have To Doesn’t Mean I Will out of that onomatopoeia, which didn’t surprise him. It’s not like he was on good terms with the Gem, either.

He sat in the same place he had in the real bedroom, the bed, which wasn’t neat and tidy in this place. He guessed Lapis had just woken up. Or maybe she just didn’t make her “real” bed. This was unimportant, and simply an attempt by Diamond to think of anything else.

“I don’t really know.” She said, unprompted, still not looking at him.

“What?”

“You asked me what the water was for. I don’t really know.” She repeated. “I had lots of plans at some point, but I kept giving up on them. I guess they weren’t really plans. Just fantasies.”

He shifted his weight on the bed, crossing one of his legs. 

“Like what?”

“When I asked for the bag of holding, I think I was just thinking about killing you.” 

She said it so casually, he almost missed it. There was no cold to her voice, no threat. It was a simple matter of fact.

“I kept wondering, how much water would I need in order to overwhelm you?” She asked herself, almost as if counting the stars. “A lot, I thought. So I started going to planets I knew, planets without sapient life. Grabbing a few dozen million liters a day, then more. Then more. The bag worked really well.”

“Bismuth is a genius.” He felt a strange push to make this a casual conversation. 

“Mhm.” 

Silence befell them, but eventually, Lapis turned her head toward him. There was really nothing behind her eyes. Diamond wondered how she could look more empty than when her Gemstone was cracked, and her eyes were literal foggy mirrors.

“But the more I gathered water, the more I thought, this is stupid. This is all stupid and pointless. Killing you isn’t what I actually want. It might feel nice, but, who cares.”

He watched her resting her chin on one of her hands, and it was like watching a waterfall breathe. Every movement was fluid like water. It was mesmerizing. No wonder–

“No, I had to go, too. So I started thinking, how much water is needed to kill me?”

“Lapis–”

“No no, this is going somewhere. It’s kinda funny.” She smiled, but it wasn’t real. “When I was Malachite, we had an entire ocean above us, but the pressure still wasn’t enough. So I needed more. I needed more pressure. Enough water that even I couldn’t escape the forces involved.” 

Lapis joined her hand as if she was praying, keeping her in front of her lips. Her body language made it look like she was about to pitch him an investment. She even had a sly smile on.

“But that’s not how it works. I kept running into these stupid problems; I’m not going to drown, so far all this work has been for nothing. What if it’s not about pressure, though; what if I have to make other people do it for me. So hear me out: I was going to drown Little Homeworld again.” 

“Stars, Lapis.”

“I know, I know, but, nobody would really get hurt.” She dismissed his concerns. “It was going to look bad, but I know what I’m doing. They would think I’m going insane again– everyone expects it, by now– and then the Crystal Gems would come in and crack me. I know they’re good at it, too. One of them started the job a long time ago.”

When the sentence stopped, it was like part of her body turned off. Her hands went limp and hit her torso, like she lost the energy to move. Her face maintained the small, fake smile for a while, only for it to wash away too, giving place to a bored grimace. 

“But that’s selfish.” She blurted, a little upset. “That’s stupid, and selfish. It’s no one’s problem. They shouldn’t have to get involved. But… at this point I have all this water.”

Lapis motioned at the bag on her counter; a blue little holding bag with encrusted crystals all over. It was beautiful, and really fit her. 

“So if I can’t kill you with it, I can’t kill myself with it, and having others kill me over it is just a little much, what am I supposed to do with it? I’m not just gonna give it back, that’s a waste. And then I noticed what I was doing!” Her arms opened, as if revealing what was so funny about it. “I was crying myself a river!”

Lapis looked at him, holding an expression like she was waiting for him to laugh. When it didn’t happen, she let her hands fall to her sides.

“Maybe you had to be there for it.” She mumbled. 

“So you made a lake in my mother’s Garden?” He tried finishing the thought.

Lapis shrugged. “It’s not like anyone else was using it. The plants were awful, and they could use the water. And I thought…”

She pointed out the recreation of the bedroom around them.

“... I thought I could have this. This place, this… just for me. Just the way I want it, with no one else in it. Maybe it wasn’t perfect but, people didn’t come here for six thousand years. Maybe I could finally just stay somewhere and not have to deal with anyone anymore.”

Her eyes stayed up, staring at the lake above them. He could see dark rings on her face. Maybe she didn’t exactly sleep on the bed. Maybe she just laid there.

“About three months into being here, my form started to glitch out. And I thought, oh, this is perfect, actually. I didn’t have to do anything. I just had to wait, and maybe one day I would destabilize by myself. It was finally going to be my choice.”

And just like that, any attempt at pretending to smile ended. She looked at Diamond again.

“And then you and Amethyst came after me.”

“We were worried, Lapis.” Diamond said, navigating a minefield. “Everyone was worried about you. We thought you might be hurt, and you were.”

“Don’t condescend me. I can’t get hurt without coming back to this stupid Beach. You just didn’t feel like reminding me that it doesn’t matter what I want.”

That was true, but it was not exactly what Diamond meant. Not that it mattered. 

“Do you have any idea how many people have manipulated me into doing what I don’t want to, Diamond?” She asked him, her voice growing harsher. “Do you understand how many people have treated me like an object?”

“I–”

“The Diamonds sent me around from planet to planet sculpting their wonders for them. The Crystal Gems put me in a mirror for thousands of years, never even bothering to check on me, to check if I was okay. They knew I was a person, but suddenly I was just a battery. ”

The water above them, fake or not, started to grow agitated. He could see pink fish panicking, as Lapis’s power manifested even here. Her tone of voice matched how bad it looked. 

“Then Jasper used my body, used my power against everyone, just because she felt jealous that Garnet was stronger than her. T-then, then Peridot, she started to push all of these… these feelings onto me, and I didn’t want any of them, and then it’s my fault when she gets her heart broken–”

It was boiling. The fake well they were in was boiling, and as far as Diamond could tell, the heat was real. It was like being a lobster in a pot. His vision was growing dimmer, and he wondered if he would wake up this time. If those rules still worked that way.

“L-Lapis–” 

“And then you, oh, you, the big, special Diamond Authority, you told me you…” Her fists were closed and tight, tight enough to hurt her hands. He could hear the glass above them creaking under the pressure. “You told me you understood. You told me you needed me. That you wanted to be TOGETHER, and I FELL FOR IT, because I’m an IDIOT.”

The dome cracked. Boiling hot water invaded the room. Diamond screamed in pain as his body instinctively made a bubble around him. But it didn’t seem to bother Lapis. If she felt any pain at all, it didn’t matter to her.

And somehow he could still hear her words.

“AND NOW I’M HERE AGAIN! I’M IN A PRISON AGAIN! I’M UNDERWATER AGAIN! I DON’T MATTER AGAIN! AND IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU!”

He felt the water pressure change as he was dragged away in a scalding current, his shield barely able to protect him. When he emerged, shot like a cannon ball going up, he wasn’t in the Garden. He was on the Beach, somewhere far away from the shore.

He could see the pink waters stretching far and wide, with the Light of the Diamonds shining above the main encampment further north, or what passed for north in this place. But that wasn’t what caught his attention. They were above another illusion.

They were above stations rising from the water, white cubes crawling slowly above the waves. Seastone Stations. The place where they first flew together.

The momentum finally ended and his bubble started to fall. He burst out and floated, the change in temperature catching him off-guard. The Beach was still simmering, and in a specific place it started to rise, like a geyser. 

Lapis ascended from the waters. A giant shape of herself made of boiling water surrounded her, quickly grabbing hold of Diamond before he could float away.

“Remember when you took me here?” She asked, a voice much larger than herself. “Remember when you told me lies to my face and then smiled? Remember when you kissed me?”

“Yes!” Diamond managed to get the word out, struggling to breathe. “Yes, I do! It was awful! It was the wrong thing to do!” 

“Good for you that you know.”

The giant water hand gripped him once more and slammed down, from several meters above, clashing with one of the Seastone Stations. He felt it. As he tried to get up and struggled, he felt all of it, but this wasn’t meant to be. The Beach wasn’t supposed to be this solid–

“This is real water, Diamond.”

Like reading his mind, Lapis floated down, her water wings sizzling in the salty wind.

“The entire Beach. Even the stations. You can make lots of things with what’s in the ocean.” She continued. “I did have a use for that water, after all, I just didn’t think I would get around to it. What do you think happens if you die here?”

He managed to stand on his feet, staring at one of the most powerful Gems he’d ever seen.

“Do you think your body will fall apart? Do you think any of us will be able to just drive you around, like a ship? ”

She was serious. And he wasn’t at his best in this place. Something always held him back on the Beach. She could absolutely beat him, he thought. He didn’t expect to ever feel this again. Helplessness. 

“How do you think it’s going to feel when I treat you like you don’t matter? When I parade you around like a trophy, when I make you say things you would never say to people you care about?!”

Geysers of hot water poured out around them, almost as if preparing for a tsunami. It was difficult to breathe, or even see her behind all the heat. He felt like he was about to pass out, but he held on.

“Horrible.” He answered, struggling. “It would feel like a violation of everything that I am. I don’t know how–”

He didn’t finish the thought. Lapis threw a jet of hot water at him, strong as a tidal wave, as painful as a gun. He bounced on the water like a smooth rock, skipping three times before starting to sink. This far away from Lapis, the waters weren’t as hot, but they were still too much.

He floated up and tried regaining his senses, but not fast enough. He only had time to look up to see Lapis dropping like a meteor at him, her wings painting the sky with a trail of hot air almost like an airplane. She collided directly with his collarbone, hands stretched out as if to choke him. Lapis dragged Diamond down to the bottom of a sea that wasn’t real.

Now that she mentioned it, this was definitely real water. It was getting into his ears as the pressure changed, and its temperature was fluctuating wildly with Lapis’s rampage. It was interesting, Diamond thought, how this dimension could even accommodate this. He would at some point assume these were delusional thoughts his mind was using to make him avoid thinking about his inevitable death. 

Maybe this is for the best, he thought as his back hit the bedrock of this fake dimension full-force, cracking it and draining any air that was still in his lungs. Lapis didn’t seem encumbered underwater; her punches hit his face with the force of an ocean. 

Awkward motion took him out from her barrage and made him slip, and thus he formed a quick bubble underneath himself, which he then popped to bounce him up. The quick pressure change would have destroyed any organic, but he held on, if only because of a force field around himself. 

He would never reach the surface on his own terms. Like an invisible monster, he felt the water around him starting to boil, and envelop him in the shape of a claw. Lapis came from underneath impossibly fast, spiking him from below as if she were a bullet. 

Like he had lost time, he immediately saw the pink skies once again, and quickly crashed in the ocean, hard like concrete due to the height. Diamond made no attempt to move. His body was frankly not in any condition to do so, at least for a while. He floated on a warm bath of violence and just desserts, staring at fake clouds that he found hauntingly beautiful.

Lapis slowly floated down from where she had ended up, staring at him.

“What are you, dead?” She spat. “Was this really all it took?”

“I’m alive.” Diamond responded, albeit with some difficulty. He was nowhere near as nonchalant as he would like to be. “I can’t fight you.”

“Don’t lie to me, I know you have powers here–”

“That’s not what I mean, Lapis. I’m not going to fight you. I’m never going to hurt you again.”

He made himself float above the water, to face Lapis directly. Her expression was a mixture of pain and anger, but it was unusually stiff. Like she was holding it that way.

“I’ve done so wrong by you.” He said, his voice reflecting both his broken body and a pain he had held inside himself for all his life. “Just because I’ve changed doesn’t make what I did to you any better. I betrayed you in a way that makes me sick to think about.”

The only movement on Lapis was her wings, occasionally fluttering, occasionally bubbling. Even contact with them would hurt.

“I… almost every night of my life, ever since Steven died, I have nightmares.” He had never put this into words. With Connie, he mentioned it sometimes, but not all of it. “And for a long time I thought it was Pearl. I thought she was torturing me for what I did to her. To you, to everyone. But now that I’m here, I don’t think that’s it. I think it’s me.”

“You had nightmares.” She repeated it. “For ten years. How sad.” 

“I’m not saying I’ve had as bad as you did. You were trapped for millennia, your Gemstone was shattered, you were abused by people you thought you could trust. I’ve never felt pain like that before.”

“Hold still and you might.”

Lapis started to wind up a punch, surrounding her right hand with water. Diamond, finally close enough, realized her skin was bubbling along. 

“This does hurt you.” He said, incredulous. “This is painful for you, too.”

“Not any more painful than what you’ve–”

“Stop!” He yelled, angry. “Stop doing this to yourself! It’s not solving anything!”

“Oh, shut up!” She yelled back, letting the water fall back into the ocean. She floated up to Diamond’s face, pointing her finger at him. “You don’t care! None of you care, and it’s always been like this! As soon as someone stops being their best selves around you, you leave them to rot! You just came after me to make sure I didn’t take anyone else with me! Anyone who matters to you!”

Her hand, so close to his face, was clearly scarred by the water. It was peeling off and burnt, her entire arm trembling as the salty wind assaulted them.

“Don’t you see what’s happening?” He pleaded. “You’re letting your pain control you.”

“What are you, my therapist? Oh, wait, she put you up for this, didn’t she? Let’s see if we can bounce you back to her!” 

With a single movement in which she floated backward and pointed both her arms at Diamond, Lapis summoned a spray of water, stronger than most she had thus far. He actually managed to shield up beforehand this time, which in turn turned him into a more aerodynamic projectile. 

He saw the water going past faster than he would if he was flying. She might actually manage to throw him all the way back to the shore in one. Or she would have, if Lapis hadn’t somehow swam under the waves and gotten past him, using another gigantic spray of water from below to spike him like a damn volleyball upward. 

The G-force involved in the maneuver made him sick, and it stopped him from properly reacting. The shield did reach the shore, but it burst immediately upon contact, bouncing him on the ground a couple of times before he finally stopped. 

He couldn’t feel his own legs. He could barely feel his arms. Diamond knew he would heal, eventually, but without being able to reach his mouth, it would take significantly longer. Maybe he could–

Any plans that he had went out the window when Lapis landed on his chest, in a show of force that would have poofed any other Gems that had no flesh. He felt some of his bones cracking under the weight, and almost passed out. But he could still hear her talking.

“What’s wrong, Diamond? Ran out of platitudes to say?”

Her arms were still enveloped by boiling water. She punched him in the face, her strength multiplied.

“Any more lies you want to give me? Any plans that involve me? How about you tell me your sob story again?! ”

Another punch, and another. He was seeing stars. Beautiful blue and pink stars.

“Maybe you want me to betray my friends again! Ruin years of my relationships just because it would be useful to you! ”

More and more and more, and less and less and less of him. Maybe this was it. Maybe this is how he would go. Maybe this was where all the work led. Plans and punches to the face.

From a distance, Captain Pearl watched, sitting on the shore. Lapis’s punches made the waves grow wild, like a moon waxing and waning. 

“What’s going on…?” A voice behind her asked. 

“Oh, Peridot, hello.” 

The green Gem took a second to realize what was happening, albeit she didn’t quite understand.

“Is that Lapis? And is she…?”

“She’s fighting Diamond, yes.”

“Wh–” 

Before she could even finish her question, Pearl had already grabbed her by the back of her outfit, like a cat about to misbehave.

“You are not going to interfere. It is almost done, either way. You might as well watch.”

“But she’ll kill him! Look at them!” 

“Maybe. But probably not.”

More confused than ever, Peridot watched Lapis continue to brutalize Diamond with her hands. They were bare, at this point. Her screams filled the shore, carried by the salty wind.

“Is…” she asked, concern drenching her tone. “Is this healthy…?”

“Hm?” Pearl was apparently not paying close attention. “Oh, not at all. To be honest, I simply do not like him very much.”

Peridot stared at her like Pearl was going insane.

“Just a little joke.” Pearl smiled, tapping the sand by her side. “Come on, sit with me. If it doesn’t work, we’ll join them.”

Too befuddled to argue, Peridot obeyed. She couldn’t stop worrying, but Pearl seemed to have a point. It looked like it was winding down.

“Fight back!” Lapis screamed, her voice too hoarse to really be that loud. “I said fight back!”

She was too tired to keep water in her bruised, burnt arms. Diamond’s face was a mess of purples and reds, blood dripping from his nose and mouth, his eyes too swollen to open. His clothes were ripped and ruined, his body broken. And so was hers, to be fair. She just didn’t want to stop.

“You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to stand there and take it! Fight me! Fight me! Figh-AAARGHH! ” 

She punched him wrong and felt her entire wrist come out of line. She didn’t have bones exactly, but a body is only supposed to work in so many ways. Hers rolled from her position on top of Diamond down to the sands, blinding pain finally hitting her all at once. Her clothes weren’t as damaged, but her skin was nearly ruined. Horrible burns seared away all over her, splotches of broken tissue and damage that she was ignoring until now finally grabbing her attention. 

It wasn’t the worst pain she ever felt, but it was really, really bad.

“L… mm… y…u…” 

She heard a sound coming from her side. Confused, she managed to focus for long enough to hear Diamond say something.

“Le… t… me…”

“What?” She groaned, her wrist flaring randomly. “What do you want now?”

“H…eal… you…”

Despite the warmth on her skin, she froze. Her jaw trembled in shock and, eventually, more anger. But a different kind. Some mixture of embarrassment and more of the anger that led her to this.

“Shut up.” She said under her breath, forcing herself to stop whimpering. “Heal yourself.”

“Ca… n… t…”

She looked again. Right, his arms. She broke them. 

“Tough luck, neither can I.” 

The waves were finally subsiding, as was the temperature. Water had a way to disperse heat, to keep it moving until it spread so far and wide it wasn’t that big of a problem anymore. Boiling water will become cold by itself relatively easily. Balance will be restored, no matter how far it goes.

The sound of a beach did things to Lapis, it turns out. It calmed her. The salt, however, made her wounds worse; itchy, almost. She couldn’t imagine what her face must look like, not to mention the rest of her. 

She didn’t expect to feel so alive today. 

“It could have worked.” She said to herself, although she wanted Diamond to hear it. “If I wanted to kill you, this power… would have given me a shot.” 

He couldn’t answer, of course. Just keep coughing, choking on his own blood.

“Why the hell doesn’t it feel good, then?” She spat. “I beat you and I… I still…”

The sound of the waves started to annoy her. So much noise. She wanted to go back to her room. To not be around people. And then the whole stupid problem would start all over again. Because people for some reason wanted to be around her.

“Damn it.” She cursed, moving toward Diamond. 

He was much, much worse than she was. His skull was very durable and hadn’t caved in, but most of his body was in awful shape. If he wasn’t a hybrid…

She took her hand and passed it by his broken mouth, feeling the magic heal her fingertips. It really was instantaneous, even if not perfect. She passed her hand over his left arm, watching pink particles knit together his broken bones and sinew, regrow his flesh, reattach ligaments.

It seemed like it hurt, but after a few minutes, his shaking hand went over to his own mouth, and started a more controlled chain reaction. First his face, then his head, then his torso. She watched as, for a while, Diamond made himself whole again, always coming back to kiss his own hand and touch another part of his body. 

It took longer than it probably felt like it did, and it wasn’t perfect. He was still ruinously tired, and even his healing magic had its limits. He was still bleeding from some wounds, he was still missing some teeth. His face was still a bit swollen, and his movements were hard, strained. The whole lower half of his body was still unfeeling.

But when he finally looked at her, he was pleading. Not scared, or full of rage, but almost sad. 

“Please.” His voice wasn’t right. Whatever damage he had would take a lot more to heal. “Please let me help you.”

“Are you out of your mind?” She scolded him. “I almost killed you, I-I almost killed both of us. I almost killed everyo–”

“I’m begging you, Lapis.” 

She watched as tears streamed down Diamond’s eyes, landing on his still broken legs. His entire upper body was trembling, and it took a tremendous effort to sit up as he was doing. He wasn’t even done with himself.

“I n-need to do one good thing for you. I’m begging you to let me.” He repeated. “I can’t… I can’t take this anymore. I know it’s selfish, I know it’s not fair to you, but I can’t take being such a bad part of your life anymore. I can’t see you suffer anymore, not because of me, not because of anyone. Please. Please.” 

He kissed his own hand, extending it to her. She didn’t know what to think.

“This doesn’t…” She whispered. “This doesn’t change anything. None of this did.”

“I don’t need it to change anything.” He cried, his hand trembling. “I just need to do right by you. I have never done that in my entire life, and I need to do it. You matter to me, Lapis. All of you matter to me, and I’ve been so afraid of you all.”

“Afraid? Of me?”

“Of what I did to you. Of having to live with the consequences of what I did for the rest of my life. I-it scares me to death. It scared me so much, I stopped doing things. I stopped helping people, I stopped…” 

He wailed, a broken bone in his hip spiking him from inside. He lost his balance and fell to his side, face almost hitting the sand. It startled Lapis enough to almost forget some of her own pain.

“I can’t erase what I did to you.” He whimpered from the ground. “I’ll never be able to. It was a horrible thing, it was unforgivable. But regardless if you ever forgive me for what I did, I don’t want to see you in so much pain. And I can help now. With this. Please.”

Diamond extended his hand again. The pink sparkles danced on the palm of his hand like little fairies. 

Lapis held his hand, feeling the energy run up her arm. The relief was nearly instantaneous. She raised Diamond’s hand up to her face, and felt the burns wash away from her. Tears of relief stream down from her eyes, landing on the pink sand.

“Thank you,” he said, still on the ground. “Thank you so much. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

She held his hand while he sobbed away, healing magic doing its trick on both of them. 

“Ah, good.” Captain Pearl said, pointing at the scene. “I told you they would settle some of their differences like this.”

“Some of them?” Peridot asked. “You mean it’s not over?”

“Over? Oh, no. It will never be.” She shook her head. “This is not the kind of trauma that goes away with good intentions and a kiss on the cheek, as magic as they may be. No, no. That was not the point of this.”

Peridot grumbled, annoyed. “You and Greg are the same. You both keep saying people aren’t projects, but then they do all of this.”

“Well, they are not.” Pearl breathed deeply, the salty smell of the beach washing some of her worries away. “A project ends. You don’t need to maintain it once it’s over. But that doesn’t mean people should not work on themselves. Look.” 

They watched as the far-away image of Lapis collapsed by Diamond’s side.

“It just looks like they’re near death.” 

“Yes, but they’re near death together. What they had between each other has been replaced with… whatever they may want this new relationship to be. What they had before needed to be destroyed. This new form is innocent. No one knows what it will be yet.”

Peridot thought about it for a while. It made a sick amount of sense to her. Almost like fusion, with a lot more blood. 

“Hey, so, you worked with Pink Diamond, yes?” Peridot aired a thought, curious. 

“All day, every day.”

“Is this how you taught her to solve her emotional problems?”

It was Pearl’s time to stop and wonder. Peridot could almost see her checking her memories, likely neatly organized.

“You know, now that you mention it,” She replied, slowly. “It would make the revolution make more sense, wouldn’t it.”

Turns out there was a clinic at the Beach. Who knew.

Diamond woke up in a simple bed, with simple white covers over himself. He was bandaged and, occasionally, he could feel his pink healing sparks jumping around, working overtime to fix damage never before seen in his system. In retrospect, it was a miracle his Gemstone hadn’t cracked.

The idea that this wasn’t as “real” a dimension as his own would have to be reexamined. 

“Hey.” Said a voice in the same room.

He turned his neck to the side, feeling a bit of strain on it, but not enough to stop him. On another bed laid Lapis, in a similar state to his.

“Hey.” he responded. “How are you?”

“Like a cooked shrimp.” She complained, still smiling. “You?”

“Like a water goddess played volleyball with me.” He grumbled, trying to lay more comfortably. It didn’t quite work. “Uuugh.”

“Water goddess. That’s cool. Never been called that.”

They shared the first comfortable silence Diamond remembers being a part of. It was day outside, and a warm pink glow filled the small clinic. There seemed to be no nurses around. 

“Hey, um,” Lapis spoke again. “Sorry for… you know.”

“Yeah?”

“Conspiring to kill you for two years.”

“It’s okay. I’m shocked that more people don’t.”

“That’s kinda funny.”

“I’m glad one of us is having fun.” He snickered. “And I’m…”

“You’ve said you’re sorry for a lot of things, by now.”

“It just doesn’t really feel like it’s enough.”

“It’s not.” She admitted. “And it doesn’t really change much. But I know you’re not that guy anymore. Literally.”

Diamond took a few seconds to respond. 

“Sometimes I’m not so sure.”

Lapis waited for him to continue. Maybe he was too hurt for euphemisms, but it didn’t feel right to hide anything.

“I still feel it in my head sometimes. The separations, the way I used to think. Fierce like Yellow, sentimental like Blue… manipulative and emotional like Pink. I can’t regulate myself as well as I used to, but I know it’s there. Sometimes I get just as angry as I used to.”

“We can’t beat ourselves up because of our worst days forever, Diamond.” 

“Well, I don’t know. My worst days were pretty bad.” He stopped wallowing, and turned to face her again. “That’s a Garnet line, isn’t it?”

“Oh, have you heard that one before?”

Diamond laughed. Lapis laughed along, not quite knowing why. She hadn’t laughed in a while.

“I think I’m going to keep going to the Garden.” Lapis said, unprompted. 

“Oh?” It was difficult for him to not sound a little worried.

“I mean, I still have a room there, I do like it there. I like gardening, I told you.”

“You did, I just wasn’t inclined to take it at face value. You were doing a prelude to killing me.”

“Aren’t we all.”

He smiled, but let her continue.

“I mean, it wasn’t all good. You saw how I was. I must have been in that chair for weeks, looking at the stars, waiting to die. I didn’t want to do anything. But every once in a while…” Lapis played with the brim of her sheets a bit, enjoying the sensation. “... I would get up and make sure the flowers were okay. It made me a little happy when they thrived.”

“You really made that place shine.” He complimented her. “If I read the files right, it wasn’t that lively when my mom used it, even. You have a knack for…” 

He felt himself blushing, for some reason. Lapis caught up.

“What? Were you gonna say I have a green thumb?” She smiled, playful. “I’m pretty sure I’m blue all over.”

“I was going to say you have a knack for making beautiful things.”

Lapis blushed in deeper shades of blue. It was very cute.

“You got that line from Greg, don’t lie to me.” She teased him.

“I’m not confirming or denying anything.” 

They giggled, and enjoyed each other’s company a bit more. Diamond’s head was starting to come back to him. The gears in his mind were turning.

“Lapis, are we friends?” Diamond asked after a while, a bit bluntly.

Lapis looked at him, not smiling this time, but not glaring either.

“I don’t know.” She admitted. “I don’t really know if I’m friends with anyone, anymore. Not from my perspective, at least.”

“I had an idea, but if we’re going back to how things were after we leave here, I wouldn’t want to impose on you.”

“We’re not how we used to be.” She finally smiled. “That I think I can say for sure.”

“When I was… younger, Garnet took me to the woods, and made a bonfire. She wanted to tell me I had two choices.”

Lapis had a little more freedom of movement than he did, so she laid on her side to fully face him. It hurt, but it was fine.

“Go on.”

“She said, ‘Diamond, you can either isolate yourself, and let things go by you, or you can connect to people, trust them, and love them again. You can let people in, or you can keep them away.’”

“Sounds like her. What did you do?”

“I kept everyone away.” He said, somber. “I thought I was just finding a new family, but I was running away from the one I already had. I left, and I kept her away, I kept Earth away, I kept people in Nora away. I kept… you all live in me, and I kept you away. I want to change that. I really, really want to change that, and… I thought maybe you could think about that choice, too.”

“Okay.” Lapis’s brow told Diamond she did not quite know where this was going. To be fair, it was a wild idea. “What do you have in mind?”

Where to even begin pitching this?

“Do you have plans for all that water?”

When Diamond woke up a second time, he was in his actual bed, and it hurt like hell.

Turns out damage taken on the Beach transferred over to his real body. At least in some ways. No wounds opened up, but he was sore all over. He could barely move one of his legs, and his neck was killing him.

He moaned in pain loudly to no one in particular, but he knew at some point his healing factor would kick in. It was an off day, regardless. 

Diamond turned his head enough to see a strange package on his bed. A blue pouch, adorned with crystals. 

He smiled. It worked.

The Blue Moon of Homeworld.

‘Nora’ Colony, six months later.

Connie arrived in the new Central Warp Station of Nora way ahead of schedule, just like she always did when possible. It took a few years, but they had finally fully integrated it with the rest of the universal grid, which meant she didn’t have to wait for a ship to be available to schedule a visit. 

The Blue Moon was busier than usual. She never got tired of imagining these Gems’ lives. An entirely different society than either human or Gem had seen before, and it was working. It took a long time, but it was working.

It surprised her, however, to see Diamond himself sitting on a bench, waiting for her. Usually she had some free time between her early arrivals and the official entourage coming to escort her to the Assembly, and he almost never had the time to come in himself. Or at least, he didn’t like to be in public very often. Happy to see him, she approached with open arms.

“Hey, you!” She said, hugging the huge man. He reciprocated. “I didn’t expect to see you for a few hours more.”

“Well, I know you like to arrive early to things, so I figured I should greet you more often.”

“Oh, thank you, then.” She asked, a bit confused by how contagious his smile was. “Did something happen?”

He held his hand out, inviting her to grab it.

“You have to see it.”

Diamond didn’t do surprises. In all this time, he had never looked this relaxed. It made her almost worried, but in a good way. He pulled her gently out of the warping station, and into the bigger city.

“You’re almost glowing.” She had to mention it. “It’s a good look, but what’s up?”

“Something did happen. I’ll tell you all about it in a minute.” 

He called for a personal transport when they reached street level, and a capsule with two seats appeared. They sat on the high-speed vehicle that sealed around them, and joined the other cars, personal or not, in the elevated highway.

“You look a lot better than you did last time I saw you.” She mentioned. “You don’t have rings around your eyes anymore.” 

“Oh, I’ve been having the best sleep lately.” The satisfaction practically dripped from his words. “It might not last, but I’m enjoying it.”

Connie touched his hand, wordlessly smiling at him. Some strange mix of pride and happiness emanated from her. She was about to say something, but from the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of a thing that made no sense.

“Hey, is that…?” She started saying, before her sentence turned into a full-on gasp. “Oh my god.”

Pink Diamond’s Garden, the entire structure, had somehow landed in what used to be the surroundings of the main commercial district. Now near other structures, it looked to be the size of a couple football fields, lush with flowers of all colors. The dome was gone, and the natural lights of the Blue Moon shined upon the greenery.

Its design was different. Instead of the old columns, she could see some trees with dots of colorful fruit; actual fruit, growing in space. Floating, thornless vines allowed Gems to transport all over the Garden with ease, almost as if the Garden itself was alive and allowing them to tend to it. 

More striking was the fact that it was practically torn in half. A river flowed freely from a taller point, with what looked to Connie like an impossible amount of water for this place. Considering she was here when they first launched the colony, she knew there was no water. And this volume…

She didn’t realize the transport had stopped until the capsule refracted, allowing them to leave. Her loss for words was a brand new sensation for her. 

“How?” Was the first thing she managed to get out.

“A lot of work from our gardener.” Diamond’s smile was side to side. He was beaming. This was obviously really important to him.

The Garden had no barriers, but it did have a main gate. It was bristling with Gems, from researchers, to people taking inventory, to what Connie guessed were tourists. The smell of chlorophyll, the natural scent of flowers, and fresh water hit her head-on, like an old friend. It was perfect. 

“I might cry, I can’t believe it.” Connie said. 

“I couldn’t believe it worked this well, myself.”

“How did any of this happen?” She wanted to face him, but couldn’t stop herself from spinning. There was just so much to take in. 

She spun around so much in fact, she ended up tripping, only to be caught by someone who was paying more attention.

“Careful there.” 

Connie recognized the voice, but it didn’t make any sense. She didn’t come out when Diamond was around. She sounded happy.

But there she was. Dirty from all the gardening, with a blue overall and collecting her water wings. Lapis. Connie froze when looking at the woman. The last time they met, Lapis was nearly enslaved. It had been the worst day in Connie’s life.

She threw herself at the Gem, hugging her tightly. They almost both fell with how strong the girl was.

“I thought I’d never see you again.” Connie cried. “I thought you didn’t… that you didn’t come out like this. That you were keeping to yourself.”

“I’ve been trying to reconnect with the world.” Lapis replied, hugging Connie back. “C-come on, don’t cry like that, I’m gonna end up sobbing too.”

Connie let the woman go, trying to recompose herself. She was 30 by now, but Lapis didn’t look a day older. Aside from a few spots on her necks that looked like burns. 

“Was this all you?” Connie asked, in awe.

“Most of it. I’ve started letting some Gems who are interested help me out with the small stuff. As long as they leave my forget-me-nots alone, they’re fine.” 

Lapis waved at some green and purple Gems walking by, taking beds of roses away. They seemed bumbling, but happy.

“There aren’t many plants in Homeworld, so we’re getting a lot of traffic here.” Diamond interjected, putting his hand on Connie’s shoulder to reassure her she was holding back tears very well. “It’s the reason why our new Warping Station is so busy.”

“Did Spinel…?” Escaped Connie’s mouth, but she eventually committed to it. “Did she have anything to say about this?”

Lapis’s Light form glowed for a moment as she summoned her Bismuth phone. She clicked on it a few times until a picture of Spinel seemingly opening the floodgates that would cut the Garden in half was shown to Connie. She looked maniacally happy. 

“It’s a lot of work.” Lapis said, after Connie seemed satisfied. “I don’t have a lot of free time right now, but Diamond told me you were coming. I couldn’t miss it.”

“C-can you show me around?” Connie almost pleaded. “This is so incredible, and I… want to know everything that’s been going on with you. It’s been ten years, it’s…”

“I’d love to, Connie.”

Lapis held her hand, pulling her toward the rest of the Garden. Diamond stayed where he was, watching both women walk away, fully engrossed in their conversation.

He wondered if Lapis would show Connie her special room under the structures, where she went when things got too loud. Or the level of detail she would give Connie about how this whole thing only happened because of a botched assassination attempt she would go. They probably had time, Connie had arrived very early.

The smell of roses filled his nose. Over a decade ago, Steven had thought he would actually love this place if it didn’t bring up so many painful memories. Diamond wished the man could have seen this.

“Resting on your laurels, I see.” 

Captain Pearl’s sing-songy voice called him from behind. She had been watching, he could tell.

“Something like that.” He admitted. “I didn’t really do anything. This was all Lapis. I just asked her if she wouldn’t want to bring the Garden closer.”

“I suppose it was lucky she didn’t decide to go with the original plan of using it as a meteor.”

He could never tell if she was kidding.

“Are you going to talk to Connie?” Diamond asked, his arms crossed. 

“Maybe.” Pink Pearl said, a little unsure. “I have to admit your new penchant for connection is a bit contagious. I was happy never coming out, but… seeing the good it did to Lapis, I suppose I overestimated my abilities as caretaker of the Beach. She’s much happier here. She’s busy, she’s got friends.”

It was a little difficult for Pearl to not let her feelings emanate. He could feel some of her sorrow, but also a lot of her pride.

“Tourmaline said unfusing is probably not going to happen.” Diamond admitted. “But she’s excited about the prospect of making Light forms more resilient. Lapis could maybe spend years outside and be fine, if this next trial works.”

“Mmm.”

“What?” 

“Maybe I could go on a vacation, myself.” 

Diamond smiled, a little surprised.

“Really?”

“You’re not the only workaholic around here.” She teased, relaxing a little. “I never took one. Maybe I’ll visit my sisters. Or maybe I’ll go pay my respects to Pink Diamond. I hear her room is still in the Temple.”

Diamond’s smile subsided a bit. He hadn’t heard of anyone doing anything similar, but if someone had the right to have whatever relationship they wanted to Pink Diamond, it was probably Captain Pearl.

“Well, I should probably go get ready for this meeting.” Diamond said. “Connie will be here a while, but I have a lot of paperwork to go through.”

Pearl nodded. He started to move away, considering the conversation over, when he heard her call him again. 

“Diamond?”

“Yes?” He turned to her.

“Good work.” She smiled at him. “Try to rest sometime.”

He smiled back. It was a strange feeling that he had assumed would go away eventually, but hearing Pearl of all people say it made it real. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he felt better than simply good enough.