Work Text:
My hours are slumberless
Dearest the shadows
I live with, numberless
Little white flowers
Will never awaken you
Not where the black coach
Of sorrow has taken you
Angels have no thought
Of ever returning you
Would they be angry
If I thought of joining you?
- Originally composed by Rezső Seress
It's nearly 1:30 in the morning when she gets a phone call.
"Who the hell is this?"
"Cindy?"
The voice is familiar, but it doesn't click for her right away. When it does, she's shocked.
"Neutron?" She bolts upright in her hotel bed, nearly hitting her neck against the headboard.
"Good, Libby gave me the right number."
"Remind me to kill her later. What could you possibly want at this hour?"
"Oh. I kind of forgot about the time difference." He admits sheepishly.
"I thought you were supposed to be a genius."
He sighs. "Not sure the label applies anymore."
"Okay, now I'm really worried. You love lording your IQ over the rest of us mere mortals, do you have a concussion?"
"Do you think I could visit you?"
"Visit me?" She parrots, astounded by the request.
"Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it's a dumb idea." He hedges.
There's an awkward silence before he pipes up again. "Although Libby didn't think it was that ludicrous for me to want to see an...old friend."
"Oh yeah, we're real pals. Haven't seen or heard from you since high school graduation." She scoffs. "Where is this even coming from?"
"I don't know, I guess I thought it might not be a bad idea to catch up. Besides, I haven't traveled somewhere for non-work reasons in ages and Libby told me you're based in Paris these days."
"I do live in Paris. But I'm not there right now. I'm in Budapest for a few days."
"Well, I could get a ticket there instead, then."
"Neutron, what is going on?" She demands.
"I just—" She can hear his voice catch on the other end of the line, before continuing. "I need some company right now. I would really appreciate it if you would let me join you. I'll even pay for the hotel. Food, drinks, whatever."
She's never heard him this desperate before. So she relents. "Okay."
"Okay?"
"Okay, but you're not paying."
"Cindy, I could probably buy and sell the whole city with how much money I have. Covering some expenses is the least I can do."
"I always forget that you're sort of like Elon Musk if he actually had talent and wasn't a stain on society."
She can practically hear him smiling through the phone. "High praise, Vortex. I'll see you soon."
Cindy can't believe her eyes when he actually turns up in the hotel lobby around noon the following day.
She is loathe to admit how handsome she finds him. He is sharply dressed in black trousers, an expensive looking trench coat, and a deep blue sweater that brings out the color of his eyes from behind his gray, wire-frame glasses.
Still, there's something about him that's off, but she can't spend too much time thinking about it. She's too anxious about how to greet him. Should she shake his hand? Just nod and smile?
Turns out she doesn't have to worry. He makes the choice for her, pulling her into a tight hug.
He smells good. Fresh, like he'd just gotten out of the shower. A mental image of him under the water lathering himself comes to her imagination, unbidden.
She admonishes herself. Get your damn mind out of the gutter, Cindy.
"Vortex." He greets, as he pulls away.
"Neutron."
He spends a few seconds just studying her, his eyes roaming over her body.
It was shameful how long she'd spent trying to pick out the perfect outfit. In the end, she'd settled on a very classic cable-knit sweater, a pair of dark wash jeans, and a light green tie-waist coat Libby had made her buy because it supposedly accentuated her figure.
"So," She clears her throat and he immediately snaps to attention, "Where to?"
He shrugs. "You decide."
"What, you're not going to rattle off historical facts about Hungary? Tell me some scientist's house you want to make a nerd pilgrimage to?"
"Actually, a lot of famous scientists and mathematicians in the twentieth century were Hungarian. Leo Szilard, John von Neumann, Edward Teller—"
"Oppenheimer's frenemy Teller? The crazy hydrogen bomb guy?"
"The very one." He raises an eyebrow.
"Don't look so surprised." She chastises. "I'm smart."
She takes him to Párisi Udvar, a famous hotel on Ferenciek ter, with sweeping brown archways and beautiful art deco glass-work.
"I've always loved it here." She remarks as they walk in and find a seat in the front. "I recommend the lemonade."
"Wow. Luxurious taste, Vortex." He smirks, eyes darting around the extravagant passageway extending ahead of them.
"What can I say? I enjoy the finer things."
A waiter comes by and takes their order and Cindy thanks him with a smile. "Kösz."
"You know Hungarian?" Jimmy can't conceal his surprise.
Cindy scoffs. "You really can't believe that I know things, huh?"
He sighs. "No, you were always quite skilled with languages. It's just that Hungarian is rather...obscure. It's not like French or German."
"Well, I can speak a bit here and there. But I don't visit often enough for fluency."
Their lemonades arrive and they raise their glasses. "To old friends," he says, offering her an affectionate glance.
They sip in silence for a minute before she finally ventures an attempt at trying to unravel his motivations.
"So, Neutron, not that it isn't great to be having a drink with you in a foreign country, but what made you drop everything and fly here?"
Surely it wasn't just to spend time with me.
He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, absent-mindedly playing with his straw.
"I-I guess I've been going through a hard time."
"Well, tell me more. Stop being so vague."
"Why don't we talk about you instead?" He tries to change the subject.
"Not so fast. What is going on with you?"
He can't seem to meet her gaze, and stares down at the ice cubes in his drink instead.
"I've been in a bit of an inventing slump."
"Just not feeling inspired?"
"I, uh—recently broke up with my girlfriend."
Cindy's heart sinks, though she'd had a feeling the explanation for his impulsiveness would be something like this.
"I'm sorry to hear that." Her voice is stiff, and suddenly, she wishes she could be anywhere except here. For a minute, she considers getting up and leaving, but then she sees the tears glistening in his eyes, and she can't bring herself to abandon him. Damned conscience.
"I know how it must sound." He grants.
"I don't. Tell me, how does it sound?" She is curt, even though she does hate to see him upset.
"I didn't mean for it to be years before I reached out." He looks at her earnestly. "But I was busy and life got in the way."
"Clearly."
"I didn't mean to impose myself on you."
"Well, you sort of did." She says, picking at a hang-nail.
"Cindy. I get it. It's a prick move. Showing up like this out of nowhere. Telling you I just went through a breakup."
Her response is steely. "Well, it's nothing out of the ordinary, is it?"
He looks confused. "What do you mean?"
"Nothing, it isn't important." She brushes it off, pretending it doesn't actually bother her. Even though it definitely does. And she despises herself for it.
For a second, he seems as if he is about to challenge her, but then the waiter shows up with their bill and both of them pull out their credit cards at the same time. He shoves his into the reader quickly, wanting to make sure he beats Cindy to it.
She sets her card down on the table in defeat and glances at the couple sitting behind them longingly.
Why have things with Neutron always been so goddamn complicated?
It doesn't exactly feel right to play tourist after Neutron confesses the reason for his visit, so instead, they just amble along the Danube promenade, while yellow trams go speeding by behind them on the tracks. She observes him, and decides that he's changed. She wonders if the mischievous boy she once knew is still in there somewhere.
"Did you love her?" The question just comes out, without much forethought. But she feels she has to know more.
He stops in his tracks and looks out across the river at the Buda Hills wistfully.
"I don't know."
"What kind of answer is that?" She sighs.
"A truthful one. We were together for a while but towards the end, neither of us were really happy."
"Why?" Getting answers out of him feels fruitless. Yet, she persists.
"She was nice. Pretty, smart, came from a good family. But it never felt right. And I just had this voice telling me that she wasn't the one. The whole time we dated, I was in a weird rut. I would start projects and leave them halfway, I would absent-mindedly forget about things I promised to do for colleagues. And she never really got it, you know?"
"Got what?"
"I would try and tell her about our childhood adventures and why science matters so much to me," He pauses to lightly kick a stone in his path, "But I think she wanted me to be a more normal boyfriend."
"What, did you go jetting off to Jupiter every time you got in an argument?" She smirks.
He chuckles. "We didn't argue. Ever."
It's now Cindy's turn to stand still, shocked as she is by this revelation. "How is that possible?"
"Believe it or not Cindy, most people don't find arguing enjoyable."
"You always did." She retorts. "Every waking minute of our lives in Retroville was spent arguing."
"That was different. We were younger, and you're, well—" He hesitates.
"Go on and enlighten me Neutron. I'm what?" She crosses her arms over her chest, standing in front of him expectantly.
"You're you. Of course we argue. I'm not like that with other people."
"Ever wondered why that is?" She quips, bitterly.
He looks exasperated with the turn the conversation has taken. That doesn't stop her. If they don't talk about this now, they never will.
But before he can give her some bullshit comeback, it begins to rain.
The droplets are slow at first, but then it starts to drizzle more heavily. He retrieves a cube from his pocket. She recognizes it immediately.
"You still have the hyper-cube?"
He doesn't say anything, and instead presses some buttons on the side of it before it pops out an umbrella that he swiftly opens and holds up above their heads to shield them from the downpour.
They clamber into one of the trams, hoping that no one will stop them or notice that they don't have tickets. The air feels muggy and the wire of tension between them is taut.
He makes a concerted effort not to look in her direction, and nervously looks out the window at the haze over the Chain Bridge. She almost wants him to make some stupid comment about the engineering or drop some useless trivia, but he remains silent. So, as usual, it falls to her to try and break through.
"Do you even know where we're going?"
"I don't have all the answers, Vortex." He barks, clearly incensed. "Contrary to what you may think."
"Oh, so you're only Albert Einstein up until I ask perfectly valid questions. Got it."
"I should never have come here. I don't know why I thought this was a good idea." He brings a hand up to his forehead as if he has a headache.
Just admit it Neutron. For once, just say the damn words.
"I know why you're here, even if you're too much of a coward to admit it."
"Admit what?" He glares at her.
"Your boring girlfriend wasn't making you happy. She didn't challenge you. She didn't push you. She didn't argue with you. And guess who last did that for you? Me."
"She wasn't boring." He shoots back defensively. "Get over yourself, Vortex."
"I don't have to take this from you." She moves towards the doors of the tram.
"You can't go out in this rain."
"Watch me." She hops off at the next stop.
A minute later, he comes after her.
"Leave me alone." She doesn't even turn back to acknowledge him.
"You'll catch a cold."
"And you care because?"
He grabs her by the wrist. "Cindy, why do things always have to be so unpleasant between us?"
She gets right up in his face and balls her fists at her sides in anger. He has the gall to ask her that?
"Because you refuse to fucking see what's in front of you. And you always have."
That does it. They clamber into a damp Uber back to the hotel by the Oktogon station, passing the opera house and other sights on the way. They don't speak for the duration of the ride and sit as far away from each other as possible.
They get into the elevator and Cindy scrambles through her purse for her room key, unable to find it.
"I don't believe this." She grumbles.
Unable to resist, he taunts her. "How can you have lost your key? We barely went anywhere."
"And whose damn fault is that?"
"So now I control the weather too?"
"Well, you seem to have a talent for creating icy situations." She stares daggers at him, thinking of the time he had replicated the ice age in their dinky little hometown.
"You are not following me to my suite." He declares.
"Yes, I am. Until I can find my key or call the lobby."
"You're insufferable." He says, as she walks in step with him towards his room.
He holds his card up to the reader and it lets them in. He shuts the door, and for a split second, he gazes up at her, inflamed with hatred and disappointment and...lust.
His body thinks for him as he slams her up against the door, roughly crushing his lips against hers, and she responds by grabbing a fistful of his hair and tugging.
"Bet your milquetoast girlfriend didn't make you feel like this." She sneers at him between kisses.
"For the last time, Vortex, she wasn't—" He starts gruffly.
"The problem." She finishes his sentence for him, biting his lip so hard and so long that he is unable to mask a moan of pleasure. "I know. Obviously. You were."
He channels all his pent up anger into ripping her sweater off, and letting his hands travel south to her sex. He fingers her through her jeans and she stops talking and starts breathing heavily.
"Finally found a way to shut you up, Vortex." He gives her a smug, self-satisfied grin as she grinds into his touch. But then she seems to remember that as always, this is a fucked up game, and she has to play to win.
"I wouldn't be so sure, James." She drops to the floor, unzips his trousers in one deft motion and grips his length, eliciting a drawn-out groan from him. She then moves to take him in her mouth, alternating between sucking him off and working him with her hands.
"Cindy." He says her name with such desperation.
"This is what you came for, isn't it?"
"If you don't ease up, I'll be coming, alright."
She scoffs and stands back up. "Well?"
"Well, what?" He pulls her closer.
She hooks a leg around him. "Finish what you started, idiot. Don't go Calamitous on me now."
The rain has stopped by the time they've had their fill.
She lies in the sheets of his luxurious bed with him, her blonde hair spilling out onto the pillows behind her.
He traces a line along the inside of her thigh.
"I'm sorry. I was being a jerk." He concedes.
"You think?"
He ignores the barb. "I think I know why I'm here."
"To get some? So original of you, brainiac."
He takes her hand in his, pressing it to his heart, and fixes her with a look of sincerity.
"I could search the whole world and never find someone like you if I tried. So I followed you to Budapest. But I would have followed you anywhere. It was hard for me to admit to myself because..." He lets out a deep breath.
"Because I'm not supposed to like you. And I don't understand it. We're always fighting, even when we haven't seen each other in aeons. But I missed it. I missed you."
She doesn't say anything for a moment, and when she does, her voice is unusually small.
"You told me to get over myself."
"I was wrong. I need to get over myself."
The following day, they go out for lunch at a local cafe, and split a lángos with sour cream. There is still a mist hanging over the city. The stunning golden Parliament building barely peeks through the clouds, with crows ominously mobbing the spires.
He admires Cindy as she neatly cuts into her half of the delicacy. Today, she's sporting her signature ponytail, with some wisps framing her face, and it makes him yearn for the old days.
When she eventually looks up at him, his pulse quickens.
"I have to head back to Paris in a few days. What's your plan?"
"I thought I'd go with you."
She shakes her head. "You can't. I'm in the middle of a huge case. One of the biggest of my career."
"I won't bother you." He entreats.
"It's not that, Neutron. You need to rediscover everything that made physics so exciting to you. And you can't do that tied to that woman, or to me."
"I told you, I'll stay out of your hair."
"It's not about me." She reaches across the table to touch his arm, tenderly. "It's about you reigniting your passion for invention. For life. And maybe when you figure things out, decide what you want, we can give this a try."
"We've already wasted so much time. Because I was stupid." He sounds miserable.
"It's not just on you that we never kept in touch. I could have sent a postcard or something. Visited you at MIT." She grants. "Jimmy, it doesn't have to be years again before we see each other. I'm always around if you need me. But I think if we're going to do this, we need to do it right. What if we agree to meet in six months? You can pick the city next time."
He's never been more sure that she is the one for him than in that moment. She can be abrasive, off-putting, and extremely hard to get along with. But he never imagined that his biggest rival would also be his biggest cheerleader. His biggest source of motivation. He loves her.
So of course, he finds himself agreeing to her terms. "Okay, wise one."
"Good, now eat." She gestures with a fork to the dish in front of them.