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“What happens when you die?”
Erin should be paying attention. The water laps against their canoe softly, the moonlight glinting off the waves. But Crockett Island is a bright light in the darkness, and it highlights Riley’s eyes as he talks and it’s all she can focus on. That pain. That suffering. It’s all she can focus on because if she focuses on the story he’s spinning, she’s going to go insane.
She isn’t going to focus on his words, about how there's a monster on the island, and that Father Paul is encouraging it, feeding it on the townspeople (like Joe Collie). She isn’t going to focus on the fact that he died, that he's a living corpse in front of her. She zeros in on his eyes, which, in the moonlight, almost look amber (they look alien). They look like the campfires they talked about that fateful night, and she imagines she’s at home, and he's just giving her another hypothetical situation.
His words fade out (something about burning in the sunlight?), and she takes solace in the memory, drifting in the in between that's comforting and safe. There’s something similar about this, isn’t there? The sun is starting to touch the horizon, and her mind is quiet but her heart is screaming. Look at his eyes. Look at his eyes. He’s lapsed into silence, and she does.
Tears roll down his cheeks, and his past speaks through him. The sun has almost hit their boat. He shakes with absolution.
“You were there, on that lake with me.”
“What happens after?”
“I don’t know.”
“What happens when you die?”
“I’m here so I can’t go anywhere,” he says. His eyes match the color of the sun. It’s gorgeous, she thinks. “I love you, Erin Greene.”
“I love you too.” she murmurs. Still confused, but her neurons are firing, and she’s making connections. She feels like she's on the edge of a cliff, about to fall off. The world holds its breath, the only thing to tell the passage of time is the rising of the sun. It hits her hand, draws across the boat, and touches Riley’s hand. It sizzles.
His eyes are a man condemned.
He’s going to leave her, the realization slamming into her so hard she gasps. He’s going to leave her with his confession, with his love. Riley is going to leave, like LittleFoot, and she will be alone. Again.
No.
The world crashes back into motion with a cry, and Erin only realizes she's the one making that ugly noise as she lunges for Riley. He flails in confusion. “Erin? What the- No!” he curses, trying to push her away.
“Fuck you!” She yells, and the boat rocks aggressively with their fight. She rips off her jacket, trying to get Riley under the coat before the sun reaches over the horizon. “You don’t get to do this!”
They tussle. It’s a difficult fight. Erin’s at a disadvantage, because she’s working against both Riley and time. She blocks the sun from him with her body, and stretches her jacket large like a barrier. He swipes at it, and she wraps his face in the fabric. He grabs at his face with his hands, and she grabs his hands, making him flinch back into the boat. “Erin, Stop!” He shouts, and shoves her. Her leg scrapes against the wood, and she hits the side hard. He rips the jacket off his face. They breathe heavily, staring at each other. It’s overcast, and she looks up. God, if she still believes, has blessed her. A small cloud, moving slowly across the sky. She has time.
“Please don’t do this. We can find another way.” she begs.
He shakes his head, quickly. “No, no. I can’t.” He looks to the side, a glance. “I don’t want to be like them, Erin. I can’t-” A swallow. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.” His voice breaks.
“You won’t. I’ll figure something out. We can figure something out.” she says.
“No, we won’t!” he snaps, “I’m going to hurt someone- a- again, and it might be Mom, or Dad, or Warren, or… or..” he trails off.
Erin crawls across the boat towards him, putting a hand on his cheek. “I know you. You came all the way out here so you wouldn’t hurt anyone. But giving up? Is going to hurt people. Dying will hurt people.”
“I…” Riley blinks, slow. His head is low, staring at his knees. His hand trails up to cover his mouth, and he tenses when it reaches her hand, seeming just to realize it was there. Erin’s brow furrows in confusion.
“Riley?” Her friend shakes his head, turning his face into her wrist. He inhales shakingly. She draws her hand back, using her other hand to free herself when his grip tightens. “Are you okay?”
He sways towards her, looking toward the bottom of the boat- no, not the boat. She follows his gaze to her calf. Oh. A small trail of blood is leaking from her leg. It must’ve come from their fight. She looks at Riley again, who is locked onto the wound.
She moves her leg to the side. He follows it. She moves it back. Like a cat following a laser pointer, his eyes track it. He seems to have forgotten where they even were. Erin pauses, takes a look at the sun. Maybe a minute or two more of
cover. An idea forms.
I’m sorry, Riley. She thinks. She’s not sure if he will forgive her for this. But she can’t lose him, too. Not to this damned island.
With that thought in mind, she lifts her leg up awkwardly, and shakes it. One second. Two. He lunges, and bites into her leg like one would a chicken wing. She shouts in pain, cutting off the noise with her knuckles. Riley doesn’t seem to notice, licking greedily at the wound.
“There we go, Riley, there we go.” she says softly, leaning forward. He pays her no mind, only grunting when she maneuvers him into taking off his jacket. Just as the sun peaks back behind the cloud, she tosses it over him, safely concealing him from the sun. She sighs back into the canoe in relief. Step one done.
Grabbing the oars is a little difficult with her parasite, but she manages. She thanks the stretches she’s had to do for her pregnancy as she reaches beyond what the human body should probably find possible to grab the oars. Riley is very agreeable as long as he’s.. Attached to the wound, humming as she positions him in a place that's comfortable for her to rest her leg. This isn’t a permanent solution, of course. Either he’s going to snap out of it or she’s going to pass out from blood loss, but it's a start. Enough of one to bolster her into starting the long journey back to shore.
Hopefully it will be enough to get them there.