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She wasn’t staring.
She just happened to be there when the commotion began and she looked up. It wasn’t like she was looking at one person in particular either, because there were many people crowding the ER as the patient was screaming bloody murder.
The flash of red caught her eye in the periphery and she turned a little to see the redhead approach in perfect unhurried yet quick and proficient strides.
“What do we have?” The voice was commanding, in fact it was so authoritative that the panicked bustling of the staff around this patient paused momentarily because Dr. Montgomery Shepherd was in charge in now.
Meredith found herself transfixed to the scene; her own chart forgotten as she watched the mesmerizing hold the attending seemed to have on the situation.
“Get me a portable ultrasound, find me an Intern and let’s hang a unit of blood here. Her haemoglobin is only at 6 and this baby is coming out today.” The red heel that looked sleeker than Meredith has ever seen clicked twice on the floor and people scrambled to follow the orders.
“Dr. Grey, can you assist Dr. Montgomery? I can take care of the discharge summary if you are done with signing it.” She feels hands brushing hers over the chart, but she wasn’t exactly taking the words in because one moment the blonde was standing there with one hand holding the chart and the other down by her side and the next minute her nostrils are flooded with the scent of vanilla and something warm that she can’t place.
The redhead moved past her, barely registering her presence with a single nod and she was shoved out of the way to make space as the patient was rolled out, probably to an OR on the bed and then she is turning without any control of her body because her finger was snagged by the railing of the bed and she was tugged forward, except her feet held firm where she was.
Pain erupted through her arm, stars filling her vision as she yanked her arm back, there was a buzz in her ear she couldn’t seem to shake off. Someone was still tugging the chart from her hand fully unaware of what had just happened to her because of the commotion and number of people around them.
“Dr. Grey, I need you to scrub in.” Oh. The redhead was looking at her, a few paces ahead already with a look that said ‘Why aren’t you moving already?’
She shoved the chart into the nurse’s hands and followed the redhead and her team. Her vision was still black around the edges but she has no control over her feet as they swiftly carried her forward and behind the attending like a puppy following a chew toy.
She doesn’t have time to look down and see what has happened to her fingers because Dr. Montgomery moves to create space for Meredith in the elevator. The place is cramped and she finds herself standing in front of the attending, her back touching the tall shoulders and again her nostrils are drenched in the vanilla scent and that thing she can’t quite figure out. She forgets her fingers are throbbing.
“Once we get to the OR, I want you to scrub in quickly, we don’t have any time to waste. Grab the suction and get the blood out as soon as you can. Once the Amniotic sac breaks, we won’t have time for the mother.” She instructed, but Meredith was floating somewhere between pain and that itch in her mind about the scent she can’t seem to figure out.
“Dr. Grey, I expect acknowledgment.” yikes.
“Yes, Dr. Montgomery.”
“Good. Are you ready?” She asked just as the doors opened and she couldn’t answer because they were now moving as fast as they could to the OR.
It was when the gloves were shoved onto her hands when she remembered the fingers. For a second she froze, bile rising at the back of throat from the pain that erupted again. But she was scrubbed in now and she had couldn’t see what had happened.
Even worse, she couldn’t say anything because here she stood in front of the Dr. Montgomery, double board-certified neonatal specialist, with hands that moved with perfect elegance and precision as she made the first incision and she was just Meredith, clumsy and stuttering, a lowly intern who the attending hates with good reason.
“Suction Dr. Grey.”
“Sorry.” She said, quickly doing as she was asked. Her left hand wouldn’t work as well but she found her right was still very capable.
“This is your first week back am I right?”
“Excuse me?” She asked politely because she wasn’t all in there in her head at the moment.
“After your appendectomy, you just started back yesterday?”
“Oh, yeah.” Why would she care?
“How are you feeling? No pain?”
Meredith looked up, her head tilting to the side. It confused her, the question, because she was in pain, massive pain, bile in her throat kind of pain and yet the redhead was asking about some other pain, which she shouldn’t even be bothering to ask her about. What did it matter to her?
“Dr. Grey.”
Green eyes met hers and Meredith had look away quickly because it felt like she would melt under the intensity of them.
“What?” She asked, focusing back on the present, the suction in her capable hand.
“How are you feeling? No pain?” She repeated, slower this time, a little louder but also more directed towards her than the general space.
“No pain, I am fine.” She said quietly, not liking being vulnerable in front of the redhead. It wasn’t fair that she had lost Derek to this woman and if she thinks about, she understands why she lost him to her. Because she was perfect, she was smart and good with her work, she was compassionate with her patients and sometimes watching those moments make her wonder what it would feel like to have the woman be kind to her. Just once.
“So, there isn’t any good reason for you to be distracted in my OR, like you have been since we got here.”
“No ma’am” The words left her mouth before she realized what she had said and she felt her cheeks burn. The redhead’s hands in the patient stilled for one brief tiny moment before going back to their flawless motion.
Meredith took a deep breath, smacking herself mentally for the slip and tried to keep her focus for the rest of the surgery. She was going to prove to the attending that she was a worthy intern.
It took two hours and twenty minutes by the time the last suture was placed. Meredith sighed in relief without realizing how much of a strain her body was in.
The only problem was when they headed out to the scrub room, she watched as the redhead shed her gloves and her headcap, the gown next as she herself stood there unable to move because she couldn’t move her fingers anymore, the pain intensifying now that the adrenaline of the surgery had worn off and the gloves were bloody and she didn’t know what to do.
She looked around to see if anyone else was going to exit the OR anytime soon but she knows most of the OR staff still had work to do.
“Dr. Grey, is there a reason you seem to be glued to that spot on the floor?” Meredith gulped, hoping against all odds for something, or anyone for that matter to intercept them, but to her terrible awful luck it didn’t seem like she was going to get out this without the attending figuring out her current predicament.
“Uhm, It’s just . I”
“Spit it out Grey.” The words startled her and she quickly swallowed before taking a breath and deciding it was now or never. Besides her fingers felt like they were going fall off anytime soon and if she wanted to continue being a surgeon, she was going to have to tend to them at some point.
“My finger snagged on the patient’s bed in the ER and now they hurt and I can’t take of my gloves!” She said rapidly, her words tripping over each other.
Addison’s steely eyes snapped down to her hands, which Meredith was holding very precariously and before Meredith could take a breath after her word vomit, the attending was in front of her.
“Why didn’t you say something?” Came the calm response, but up-close Meredith could see the urgency in the green eyes as the attending gently pulled her left hand into her own.
“The patient needed emergency surgery and I was there and you -“
“Arrrrrggh!” a scream ripped out of her as her glove was tugged out over her hand. Her eyes glazed over and she was seeing stars again.
“Oh my god, Meredith!” She didn’t know what was so insane, she wanted to see but her vision was greying and she swayed dangerously only to land against soft warmth. An arm wrapped around her, holding her up momentarily letting Meredith concentrate on that distinct smell of vanilla and something she didn’t know.
“Meredith?” Came the soft voice and it made her wonder if she was dreaming. Because in no reality will it ever make sense why the redhead was saying her name with such gentle warmth.
“Hurts.” She whimpered because that’s all she could say now. Gone was the need to stay defiant, not show vulnerability and prove herself to the attending.
“Let me see sweetheart.” Meredith knees almost buckled but clearly for different reasons. She was gently pushed backward away from all that warmth and her hand was now being cautiously prodded.
“It’s definitely fractured.” That made her snap her eyes down, and lo and behold. Her little finger was swollen to nearly twice it’s size and there was a massive hematoma on and around the digit.
The bile rose again but this time she had a palm rubbing her back soothingly “Deep breaths, it’s okay. We will have this fixed.” When Meredith only looked more ashen the attending placed a crooked knuckle under her chin and forced her sight to meet the jade green eyes.
“Don’t look at your hand. Take some deep breaths, we are going to walk to ortho and have this seen to immediately, okay?” But Meredith’s feet tripped over themselves and she wondered if the redhead will get exasperated with her incompetence and leave her there to rot.
“One step at a time. Take as long as you need.”
Only once Meredith was sitting on an exam table, her aching hand in Callie’s proficient one’s did the greyness around her vision stopped.
“I’ll do a buddy splint and you will need to keep it that way for four weeks Grey. No more heroics until then, okay?” Meredith nodded, her heart sinking at the prospect of no surgeries for another four weeks. She had just missed so much thanks to her stupid appendix and now this.
“Would you like some morphine?” Meredith snapped her eyes up when she heard a chuckle from behind the ortho goddess. Callie shot a look behind her as well.
But the redhead, who still stood poised and stoic never said anything, only shrugging her shoulder minimally.
“No thank you, I think some diclofenac will do.” She said quietly from her spot on the bed, glancing at the redhead to make sure she was not going to be chuckled at again.
It didn’t feel good to be laughed at by the redhead.
“Brave choice Grey.” Meredith held very still through the entire process. Her breath catching every time her finger was jostled even a tiny bit. She wanted to weep like a baby at the pain but as long as the neonatal surgeon was in the room, she was wasn’t going to let herself. Which again pegged the question as to why she was still here, standing guard by the door as if Meredith would run away.
“Only light work for today, do not stress the finger more. Or that one crack will turn into two.” Callie lectured tapping the fracture line on the x-ray with her own finger.
“Oh, she’s not working any more today. She is going home.” Meredith’s jaw dropped and she was about to protest when the red head stepped forward in her four-inch hells, nearly towering over her as she sat cowering on the bed suddenly feeling very small. “I will drive her.” Two sets of eyebrows shot up and Meredith didn’t know what to say.
“Fine, but don’t let her skip the pain meds, she may not be crying now but she will be later.” Addison nodded and kept her gaze on Meredith as the ortho attending left the room.
“I can have Cristina drive me; you don’t have to go through all that trouble.” She said, because at least then she could let the tears fall.
The older woman looked at her for a moment, regarding her face, as if speculating if Meredith was lying. Meredith was almost sure she was going to get her way, that is until- the redhead raised her hands and placed them on her waist and shot Meredith a glare so powerful, Meredith now wanted to cry because of that.
“You stood in my OR for nearly two and a half hours with a fractured finger, and lied straight to my face that you were not in pain. So no, I will be dropping you home so I know for sure you that that is where you will be until tomorrow.”
“But I-“ She started to protest only to be cut off by the attending with that signature hand wave
“No, I don’t want to hear it Grey. Let’s go, you can grab your things on the way out.”
Meredith scrambled off the bed, jumping down nearly tripping over her feet again only to be steadied by the redhead. She felt her cheeks flush and she kept her head as she followed the attending to the intern locker room.
As luck would have it, both Izzie and Cristina were sitting there, chattering away as the two entered. Their eyes followed the intern as she quietly went to her locker and pulled out her things. She nearly jumped when a voice in her ear whispered “You know an attending that is not Derek followed you in here right?” She shot her a glare and went to flip her off but realized her mistake when she moved her injured finger too much “Ow! Shit, look what you made me do.” She complained ignoring the stare on her back from the redhead.
“Holy shit what did you? What did she do?” Cristina turned to the attending, throwing her question at her now, knowing that the redhead definitely had answers.
“Broke her little finger by having it snagged on in the ER.” Cristina and Izzie whistled, clearly amused and not at all concerned that she was being chaperoned by the ex-boyfriend’s ex-wife.
“Yay! More surgery for us.” Cristina cheered “Do you want me to drive you home, find that bottle of tequila I hid from you while you were recovering from the appy?”
Addison’s eyes hardened at the mention of alcohol and Meredith pressed her lips together in a thin line absolutely refusing to comment on her choice of escape “That’s okay, Yang. I will be driving her home.” Came the strict no nonsense reply and both the interns looked shocked between the two of them.
“Let’s go Grey.”
“What did you do?” Cristina mouthed at her silently as she made pleading eyes at her person as she followed the attending out.
Addison’s car was nice. It was fancy and it had a lot of buttons, but she couldn’t touch any of them because she had a feeling, she was going to be scolded for it.
A few mumbled directions later and Meredith found herself standing awkwardly at her own door unsure what was expected of her now that she had been driven home by the attending as the older woman had wanted.
“Can I come in?” Meredith nodded quickly, using her good hand to brush the hair out of her face and then shut the door behind them to keep the cold out.
Addison looked around and hummed in some strange sort of approval, as if she had expected Meredith to be living in worse conditions.
“Where is your room?” the intern balked at that, her good hand pointing upstairs and the red head quickly strode in that direction. Without knowing what to do, she trailed behind, her heart hammering at a questionable pace.
“Uhm, I left in a hurry this morning so it’s not exactly very-“ The door pushed open and Addison stepped inside. “Clean” She finished.
“Change into your night clothes and settle down, I’ll bring you a glass of water for your pain meds.” Meredith stilled, confusion settling on her features.
“But it’s only Seven.” She stated the obvious to which the redhead only lifted an eyebrow as if questioning her was the absolute wrong move. “Okay” She said quickly and nearly blushed from the slight smirk she got from the attending who turned around and went back downstairs.
Meredith scrambled to find something decent to wear, it was the worst possible day for this to happen because she suddenly remembered she lounged in her night clothes throughout her post Appy recovery and none of them were washed yet. She dug through till the very bottom of her drawers to find one pair of skimpy shorts that she never wore because she hated how snugly they fit.
But having no choice now, she quickly changed, pulling the shorts on and her favourite ratty Dartmouth shirt. Before she could dive under the covers though, the door knocked and pushed open to reveal the attending carrying a tray of multiple things. Where she found all this, Meredith had no idea because on most days the intern was a stranger to her own kitchen.
There was a moment where the attending stopped and scanned her from head to toe, Meredith felt oddly like a prey and she dove for the covers, quickly pulling them over her legs.
“Here, take two for now. If the pain gets worse later, I will leave two more on the night stand.” She said handing over the pills first and then the glass of water.
Once the blonde was done, she quickly placed the empty cup on the nightstand beside her and then watched with careful eyes as the older woman sat herself down with impeccable grace next to her handing her a bowl and a spoon. “Here is some ice cream for our patient.” And she smiled, Addison smiled at her and Meredith melted faster than the ice cream ever will.
Meredith took the bowl, her mind in shambles at the events occurring currently. She wanted to pinch herself and see if she was dreaming but her finger was broken and her good hand was holding the bowl.
“Oh, would you like me to feed it to you?” Excuse me? What?
“Why?” She asked dumbfounded and Addison cocked her head giving her a weird look.
“You have only one good hand.”
“No, I mean why are you doing all this, I thought you hated me.” Addison sighed, taking the bowl from her hand and scooping a small bit of the strawberry ice cream the redhead had apparently found in the fridge.
“I don’t hate you. We have already had this conversation before, except you were high as kite then, on morphine.” Meredith’s face flushed all at once. “Adorable was an understatement to what you were, I do wish you had opted for the morphine today as well.”
She had no idea what to say, so she said nothing at all and the next thing she knows, there is ice cream at her lips and she opens her mouth and lets herself be fed by this double board-certified neonatal surgeon.
“You know, I have always wondered about this saying –‘opposites attract’.” She said casually like as if she was telling her a bedtime story.
“You are an intern, a clumsy, adorable - cheeks get flushed every time I look at you kind of adorable, messy hair, stubborn mumbling little thing.”
“And then there is me.” she said as if that explained everything about herself while Meredith obediently opened her mouth again when the spoon came towards her again. Her blue eyes wide and startled at the words leaving the attendings mouth so calmly.
“I like you, Meredith.” Her jaw dropped only for a spoonful of ice cream to be shoved in again. “But you have this tendency to run away from me every time I am near you.”
“So, I will ask that you don’t run away from me the next time. Because I would like to get to know you better and treat you better.” When Meredith only blinked at her still too shocked the attending continued “Can you do that for me Meredith?” Meredith nodded; she wasn’t doing it on purpose but her head was nodding.
“Pinky promise?” She doesn’t know when but her injured finger was being brough to the redhead’s lips for a gentle kiss as Meredith nodded her promise.
“Good girl.” Meredith gulped a she felt heat pool somewhere deep within her.
“I am going let you sleep now. Will you come find me in my office tomorrow morning after your rounds.” Her eyes were drooping she realized suddenly, she panicked for a moment but soft hands found her cheek and lifted them up. Warm lips were pressed against them and she felt herself calming “I gave you tramadol, I got you something stronger from the hospital. You don’t have to hide your pain from me sweetheart.”
“Sweet dreams Meredith.”
“Yes ma’am” was the last thing she remembered mumbling before she was being slid down the bed into a more comfortable position and her eyes closed, the burning pain in her finger forgotten.