Work Text:
8:29 A.M.
Chuuya woke up to the sound of the birds tapping on the window. He slowly sat up, the warm blankets bunching up around his waist. Chuuya noticed almost immediately that his other half wasn’t in bed. He paused in sleep-addled confusion.
‘I thought it was ‘samu’s day off…?’
Chuuya held his breath, trying to identify any noise in their shared penthouse. He heard some minute thumping and some muted breaths but that was it. Was Dazai panicking? Chuuya’s eyes widened at the revelation before he rushed to get out of the blankets encasing him, not even stopping to fix his messy hair or scrunched up shirt.
Chuuya eventually escaped the hold, trying not to run into the room and freak Dazai out more. He forced himself to walk calmly into the kitchen. There, he found a half-dressed Dazai sitting on the floor against the cupboard. He was curled up and shaking, with his knees pressed to his chest and his arms and head laid on top.
He couldn’t hear any crying or muttering, so it was either really bad, or a less dangerous situation. He made sure to make his footsteps loud as he his partner before he sat down a foot away on Dazai’s left side. They always seemed more comfortable when he stayed on his left.
“....’samu?”
Chuuya asked quietly, making sure not to startle his lover. Dazai merely shifted in response, which Chuuya took as acknowledgement.
“Baby? Can you tell me what’s wrong?” Chuuya tried again, this time louder and firm. Dazai’s shallow breathing hitched before trying to say something. He paused, then sluggishly moved his finger to his throat and shook his head. ‘I don’t want to speak right now, but I recognise you’re talking to me.’
Chuuya nodded, before realizing Dazai probably coulddn’t see him. He snorted internally before speaking again.
“Do you know what you need? Food, water, cuddles, sex, attention, talking, alone time? Does any of that sound okay?”
Dazai paused. He had stopped shaking by now, focusing on Chuuya’s voice instead of whatever was causing this. He shifted to hold out a pale hand with all five fingers up.
So the mackerel wanted attention, huh? Alright, Chuuya thought. I can work with that.
“Mackerel? Can I pick you up? I want to move you to the couch.” Chuuya spoke calmly, with a firmness and confidence that said he’d done this before and knew what to do. Dazai nodded, finally peeking out of his arms. Chuuya smiled at that. If Dazai was already looking him in the eye so quickly, he would be okay soon. Chuuya slowly grabbed onto Dazai’s limp limbs as they just went wherever he needed them to.
Eventually, he was able to stand up with his partner in his arms. He took a second to make sure Dazai was stable and comfortable, before he began the small walk to the plush couch in their living room. Chuuya set him down carefully. Dazai had had a light grip on Chuuya’s rumpled white shirt which he had yet to let go of. Dazai looked Chuuya in the eyes, and for a second they stayed like that, Chuuya looking down into painfully human eyes. After another moment, Dazai cursed under his breath and pulled Chuuya in.
Chuuya made a noise of surprise, but quickly adjusted and kissed back. When this first started happening, he was hesitant to do anything physical with Dazai when he got like this. It just felt like he was taking advantage of Dazai because he couldn’t technically consent to anything, especially if he was non-verbal. Eventually, a very flustered Dazai explained one night that the physical contact actually helped a lot. It helped take his mind off of whatever was bothering him, allowing him to just focus on the sweet lips of their lover.
Dazai’s other arm came up to gently hold the back of Chuuya’s neck. The contact was comforting and sent a chill down Chuuya’s spine. The two broke apart, both panting lightly. Chuuya tilted his head forward slightly, his forehead resting against Dazai’s, a loving contact for both of them. Dazai allowed his arms to fall to Chuuya’s waist pulling him in gently. Chuuya went without hesitation, sensing what Dazai wanted. Dazai’s head met Chuuya’s chest and wrapped his arms around the body in front of him. Chuuya wrapped his arms gingerly around Dazai’s head and back, rubbing his back and feeling every scar that interrupted the soft, innocent skin.
Neither moved for a while, content to just stay there, basking in the warmth of one another’s presence. Eventually, Chuuya leaned down and pressed a simple kiss to the crown of Dazai’s head. He then let go of Dazai’s head, prompting Dazai to let go of him in turn.
“I’ll be right back, okay? I’m going to grab a few things from our room. Do you want anything specific?” Chuuya whispered, trying to avoid ruining the atmosphere that had been established between them. Dazai nodded and motioned his hands accross his chest, as in to wrap something around yourself. Chuuya stopped to think for a second, before asking for clarification.
“Blanket or hoodie?” Dazai smiled, amused at Chuuya being so concerned to get this right, before he held up one finger. Chuuya nodded and kissed his head again, before disappearing into their bedroom door. Dazai watched the open doorway, seeing Chuuya’s shadow move a bit, before Chuuya reappeared in his vision, his arms full of items. Dazai could clearly see the blanket he’d asked for, as well as their phones, but there were a few others hidden in the blanket.
Chuuya waddled up to the coffee table and set the full blanket down carefully, avoiding spilling anything. Dazai watched in interest as Chuuya sorted out the items before sitting next to Dazai and wrapping his blanket around him.
Dazai made an appreciative noise before he started to analyze what was in front of them. There was two bottles of water from the mini fridge in their room, as well as a peach and strawberry yogurt and a spoon.
He moved to a different group of objects. This one consisted of a crab stuffed animal Chuuya’d gotten him when they were 17, some chocolates from his bedside table, and his nintendo switch.
The final group had two of his journals. One was a sketchbook specifically for these situations, and the other was an everyday journal. Yosano had recommended journaling as a coping mechanism and to be honest, it worked.
Dazai felt like crying. Chuuya got up to grab the remote and turn on the TV. He put on one of the many crime shows Dazai liked to watch and rewatch whenever he had free time or needed background noise. Instead, he simple leaned into Chuuya’s side when he sat back down. Chuuya raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything, only wrapping his arm around Dazai loosely.
Dazai watched in mild interest as Chuuya texted his group chat with all of his subordinates, explaing that he couldn’t come in today. When Ryuunosuke asked why and if he was alright, concern clear, even through text, Chuuya was quick to calm his worries and only said he had more important personal business then the reports he was scheduled to do today. Tachihara asked if he was busy on a date with Dazai, but Dazai was too busy laughing to read the rest of the conversation.
The two lovers spent the next several hours on their couch, switching between complete silence to chatting animatedly to challenging eachother in video games. By the time dinnertime came around, Dazai felt immensly better. He knew it was hard to deal with him at times, but Chuuya made it seem so easy.
Dazai couldn’t help but adore him for it.