Work Text:
The rain had started just as the city’s streetlights blinked to life, casting a soft, orange glow over the slick pavement. Smiley stood under the awning of a small coffee shop, her arms wrapped around herself, watching as the rain fell in sheets, blurring the world beyond the cascade into a watercolor of dim lights and dark shadows. She had been waiting for Fraos for nearly an hour now. They were never late, not like this.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she fumbled for it, hoping it was Fraos texting to say they were on their way. But it was just another notification - some weather update she didn’t care about. She knew it was raining; she heard the pitter-patter at her feet. She chuckled humourlessly at the comedy of it.
She sighed, her breath fogging in the cool air as she looked down the empty street. A sense of unease settled in her chest, tightening with each passing minute. Something felt wrong.
Smiley checked her phone again, scrolling through the last messages she and Fraos had exchanged. It was all so unnervingly normal - banter, casual plans to meet up for dinner. She’d planned to tell them tonight, the thing she’d been keeping suppressed for too long. She had rehearsed the words over and over in her head during the day, and at work, her heart racing every time she thought about saying them out loud. I love you.
It had taken her months to admit it to herself. Every time Fraos talked so enthusiastically about what they were doing, every touch of their hand on her arm, every shared comfortable silence - each moment had built up this adoration inside her, something bigger than she could contain.
But Fraos was… well, Fraos. Brilliant, the sweetest soul, a little quirky. And there was that quiet distance in them sometimes, a part of them Smiley was terrified she’d never be able to reach. What if Fraos didn’t feel the same? What if this confession destroyed what they had instead of boosting it?
She shook her head, telling herself not to spiral. They were just late. She’d tease them about it when they arrived, as she always did, and they’d sit down, share a meal, and maybe - just maybe - she’d finally get the courage to tell them what she felt for them.
But as the minutes passed, that hope started to disfigure into dread; like a heavy ball in the pit of her stomach. Something was definitely wrong.
The next buzz of her phone shattered the fragile quiet. She looked down at the screen and felt her heart stop.
'Fraos was in an accident.'
The words blurred before her eyes. "What?" she felt herself mutter, but she was unsure if she said it out loud or if the word was just that loud in her mind. Her body went cold, her legs trembling beneath her as she read the message again. It was from one of their mutual friends, Elmo, someone who worked at a reputable hospital in the city.
'Hit by a car. They’re in surgery now.'
Smiley’s breath hitched, and she felt the world tilt under her feet. The rain, the street, the dull glow of the lights - all of it faded away as her mind raced. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t move.
The air felt too thick to breathe, like it was pressing down on her chest and another breath would make her lungs collapse. And then, all at once, she was running, her feet pounding against the wet pavement, nearly slipping on the thin sheet of water, the rain drenching her as she sprinted through the streets toward the hospital.
By the time she reached the hospital, her lungs were burning, and her clothes soaked through to the skin. The emergency room was bright and sterile, a sharp contrast to the chaos of her thoughts. She stumbled to the front desk, barely able to catch her breath.
"Fraos - they were in a car crash," she gasped, her voice breaking. "Where are they?"
The nurse behind the desk frowned sympathetically. "They’re in surgery right now. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to wait."
Wait. That word felt like a death sentence. Smiley collapsed into one of the chairs, her hands shaking uncontrollably. The uncomfortably prickly fabric of the chair stuck to her back in a disgusting way, but she was too jostled to react to the way her brain overrides.
Fraos was in surgery. She could be losing them. The person she had spent the last few years of her life with, the one she had come to rely on, lower her guard with, and fall in love with - she might lose them without ever telling them the truth.
Wait.
Smiley felt bile rise in her throat at the word. She felt so helpless. In the back of her mind, she regretted not studying for doctor; at least then she wouldn't be this useless right now. She felt like she was back at home; seeing a parent cry, unable to do anything. She vowed to never feel like that again, and yet, here she is.
A sob rose in her throat, but she swallowed it down, pressing her palms into her eyes to stop the tears. She couldn’t break down, not yet. Not when Fraos was in there, fighting for their life. She had no right. She had to be strong for them.
Minutes stretched into hours, every second dragging like an eternity. Smiley stared at the floor, her mind replaying every moment she’d shared with Fraos; every conversation, every smile. She remembered the nights they stayed up too late talking about nothing and everything, the way Fraos’s eyes would crinkle at the corners when they laughed, the way they always made her feel seen; understood in ways no one else ever had. They’d been her safe place, the one person who made the world feel a little less... lonely.
And now, they were slipping away.
The doors to the surgery ward finally opened, and Smiley shot to her feet. A doctor emerged, his expression grave as he approached her.
"Are you here for Fraos?" he asked gently.
Smiley nodded, her throat too tight to speak. She didn't trust herself to talk right now; not with the threat of her voice cracking looming over her.
The doctor took a deep breath, his face full of empathy, and Smiley felt her stomach drop. "The surgery was... complicated," he said slowly, each word weighed carefully. As if Smiley was a delicate glass cup, and one wrong word would shatter her. "They were hit hard. There was significant internal bleeding, and while we did everything we could…"
"No," Smiley whispered, shaking her head in disbelief, as though refusing to let the words settle. "Don't..." Don't finish that. Don't make it real.
The doctor’s eyes softened. "I’m so sorry. They’re in critical condition. We don’t know if they’ll make it through the night."
Smiley’s knees buckled, and she had to grab the edge of a nearby chair to stay upright. The room spun around her, her heart pounding so loudly in her chest that it felt like it might break her ribcage. She couldn’t breathe. This couldn’t be happening. Fraos couldn’t be leaving her. Not like this. Not when she had so much left to say.
Hours later, Smiley found herself sitting at Fraos’s bedside. They were so still, too still, their face pale and fragile under the harsh hospital lights. Tubes and wires snaked around their body, machines beeping rhythmically, but it all felt distant, unreal. Smiley reached out, her trembling hand brushing Fraos’s cool fingers. It felt so wrong, seeing them this... dead.
“I’m here,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “It's ok.” She didn't know who she was convincing anymore.
She wanted to scream, to beg them to wake up, but all she could do was sit there, watching their chest rise and fall with each labored breath. Her tears spilled over, falling onto their hand as she gripped it tighter.
“I never told you,” Smiley sobbed, her voice shaking. “I never told you how much I love you. God, Fraos... I’m so sorry. I should’ve told you sooner. I should’ve...”
Her words dissolved into broken sobs and soft 'I'm sorry's as she pressed their hand to her cheek, wishing she could go back, wishing for just one more moment. She should have said it; should have told them all the times they were together, when the world wasn’t on the edge of falling apart.
Fraos’s fingers twitched faintly in her grasp, a movement so small Smiley almost missed it. Her breath caught, hope flaring in her chest, but when she looked up, Fraos was still unconscious, their expression unchanged. She let out a broken laugh, the sound hollow in the sterile room.
“I’m here,” she whispered again, holding on to them like they were her lifeline, her heart breaking into pieces as she prayed they would somehow hear her.
“I love you, Fraos,” she breathed, her voice barely audible. “I love you.”
"Please wake up."