Work Text:
There was no way this was happening to him.
No fucking way.
"James Fleamont Potter!" Sirius pressed his palms down on the table and hissed at the messy haired nineteen year old, tearing behind his round glasses with a hand pressed on his mouth as he tried, rather unsuccessfully, to stop his laughter.
Tears rolled down his face as he gave in, laughing so hard that his ribs could crack and banged a fist to the table, making the bubbling cauldron jump.
Sirius Black was not impressed.
Hands on his hips, he glared at James till his best friend calmed down, snorting when he looked up at Sirius again.
"You said it would work. It was supposed to be perfect," Sirius accused in a rather high pitched voice that was nothing like his own, that sent James cackling again.
"I said it was my dad's recipe," James wheezed, clutching his belly helplessly.
"You've ruined me!"
"Sirius!" James threw his arms out to his best friend. "You said you wanted my dad's strongest beauty potion. And that's what you've got!"
"I said I wanted to look more attractive!"
"That's a beauty potion, dipshit!"
"Fuck you." Sirius levelled James a glare that he hoped would make the prat realise that there was nothing funny about what had happened, but James was giggling again.
"Maybe the only way you could have gotten any more attractive is if you turned into a woman," James sniggered.
Because that's what had happened.
The two of them had met at the Potter's ahead of Remus's birthday because Sirius had got it into his stubborn little head that the only reason Remus wasn't getting his very obvious hints (Offering Remus a chocolate bar every day) only because he wasn't attractive enough for the moody werewolf.
They had a party that night organised for Remus — at Lily's parents home, her family visiting some Muggles up north — but had met up earlier so they could prepare the beauty potion before the party.
But now Sirius Black was beautiful.
And very, very female.
"I don't suppose it will turn you into a woman then. Cause you're ugly as hell." Sirius raised a brow at James and smirked in challenge which his idiot best friend gave into immediately.
"I bet I'd make a hotter woman than you." And James threw his head back, downing the entire vial.
And now there was another woman. This one was fondling her tits in the mirror, checking herself out as Sirius paced, panicking as the hands of the clock ticked away.
"What are we gonna do?!"
"We?" James played with his thick, long hair and licked his lips as he looked at the mirror. "I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go to Remus's birthday party and have a night as the sexy woman I am."
He turned to his best friend with a cheeky grin, which was so much like his own and yet...
"Merlin, you are hot." Sirius's voice was a whisper now. The kind that was often whispered to his own ears in the dark rooms and the broom cupboards galore. Sweets whispers of those of tender flesh and perfumed skin.
"I know," James's voice was sweeter too, huskier and he — she? — moved closer and then even more, a gentle hand on Sirius's own bosom as James gave it a squeeze. "And you are too."
Heat pooled low in Sirius's belly, both needy and unfamiliar, and it had him squeezing his thighs together. A pant escaped his lips, caught by James's own mouth and the two kissed slowly.
And deeply.
And pulled away.
"Fuck, we're the hottest girls we know," Sirius declared.
"The only reason we aren't is to give the other girls a fucking chance," James grinned, wicked and mischievous, offering Sirius an arm and Sirius took it gladly, giggling now.
"Let's steal that chance from then tonight." Gray eyes glinting with mirth.
And James could only agree.
Lily didn't even start at the news when the two went to her for help. She accepted it like a truth she had long been expecting and offered to style both James and Sirius for the party.
James was delighted. And even more so when the party began, perching onto any boy's lap and purring like all he had been born to do was strut around.
Sirius, on the other hand, could barely breathe.
Remus had arrived to the party and spoke to a few of their friends and ignored the rest with the tightest of smiles. There was a strain in the werewolf's eyes that made Sirius's heart ache, but he didn't know how to approach him. How was he to comfort his best friend from his own absence (And James's) in this body of a woman?
He tried to swallow his drink, but it tasted awful on his tongue. His chest felt heavy and he found it weird that even Wormtail, along with the other guys at the party, was eyeing him like he was a meal to be devoured. Wormtail who was supposed to marry into some pureblood family his parent's had chosen for him that very winter.
He was in such agony that he almost missed Regulus walking up the stairs with none other than the very beautiful James giggling as they held hands, looking at each other with the kind of eyes that only meant trouble.
Sirius's hand shot out, grabbing Jamie's other hand, stopping him in his tracks.
"What are you doing?" Sirius was alarmed, surely James had lost a braincell or two due to the potion. Not Regulus? James couldn't be seriously considering sleeping with Regulus??!
Sirius hadn't even known that his brother was invited tonight. Hadn't seen him since he graduated Hogwarts two years ago. Of course Sirius hadn't gone home in years, having being disowned by the Blacks for his utter disdain of the pureblood way of life and had rejected his arranged marriage to Narcissa by leaving her at the altar when they were sixteen.
James laughed, giving Regulus an apologetic shrug.
"She's my best friend. Always worried about me hooking up with the wrong guy."
Regulus's eyes softened in a way Sirius had not seen in a long time, looking down fondly at James.
"That's alright. I'm the bad guy, but I promise I'll be good. For tonight."
James giggled, turning to Sirius and gave wrapped long arms around his neck, hugging him.
"I'll be fine, daaarling," James cooed, every bit the girly girl and moved back, tilting his head to a side with that damned knowing grin. "Tonight's about having fun. You said so yourself. Stop being so serious."
Sirius never wanted to bitch slap a girl so hard in his life and before he realised he could, because he was essentially a woman himself at the moment, a low chuckle reverberate from behind him, moving through his chest like a pool of lava, warming him through till it settled between the thob of his apex.
Fuck.
"There you are." A large hand wrapped itself around Sirius's arm, turning him around gently. "I've been looking all over for you."
Sirius died in that moment.
Remus was smirking, looking down at him before he raised a calloused thumb to Sirius's lips, tracing over it ever so gently.
Every breath in Sirius's body whooshed out and he swayed on his feet, knees about to give away when Remus laughed, wrapping a thick arm around his waist easily and tugged him flush against the hard panes of his own body.
Merlin, he smelled even better somehow through the nose of a woman and Sirius was very very jealous at that thought. But he couldn't help but press his face into Remus's chest.
"You know?"
Gentle fingers touched his chin, tipping his head up so Remus could look at him.
"Padfoot, I would know you anywhere. You could be in the body of any other and I'd still see you through your eyes."
Sirius was putty and then more, wanting to believe it so much.
"Lily told you." Not a question.
Remus chuckled. "She did."
Sirius groaned, dropping his head back onto Remus's chest, now vibrating with a hearty chuckle.
"Stop laughing," Sirius complained, mock glaring at Remus, but Remus only grinned wider, shaking his head.
"The love of my life has become a woman for me. How could I not laugh?" He teased.
"Don't tease." Sirius rolled his eyes.
"Not about this, no." Remus had a hand rest low, on the small of Sirius's back and his other slipped up into the thick mane of black hair and he tugged Sirius's head back, exposing his neck to the werewolf.
"Every fucking day I tell myself to stay the fuck away from you. That you don't deserve to suffer me. That you deserve so much better and you go and fucking do this stupid shit, making me fall in love with you all over again." His voice dipped into a low growl, nose skimming slowly up the length of Sirius's neck, breathing him in.
"I can smell your desire, Sirius. I can barely keep away. And now I can't fight it anymore." His teeth were sharp as they bit down on Sirius neck, soothing it soon after with an apologetic lick.
Sirius whimpered and that elicited an even louder growl from the werewolf, holding his very tender female body so very tight against him that Sirius was sure he would bruise.
"Please." His voice a needy whisper, holding onto Remus's shoulders for dear life.
Remus hissed low into his ear. "I'm gonna take you up now. To Pentunia's room. And you're going to come for me over every fucking bit of furniture in that room, precious. And when you are back into your own beautiful body, we're gonna come back and paint it all over again in your brilliant shade of white."
Sirius learnt that way that being human could be as beautiful as the slow melody of a flute or the symphony of a grand piano forte but pleasure came best at the hands of the one you loved most, of gasping for cool breathe to live once more as your lover pulled away, the soft sting of his punishing kiss on his tender lips and his lover deep in his being.
And that was what it meant to be alive.
To be entwined within another in so many layers that all you breathe is them.
"You can barely stand, Pads," Remus teased as the finally stumbled out of Pentunia's room, his arm supporting Sirius's weight as they moved past three crowds.
"Shut up," but Sirius nuzzled into Remus's side, relishing in the scent of night's and earth and the very familiar musk that was him.
Then Remus stopped in his tracks, making Sirius stumble, but before Sirius could snap at him, he saw what Remus was gaping at.
James and Lily were making out in a dark corner of the upper floor, giggling and touching each other as they ground themselves against each other, whimpering the same tune.
"Oh, fuck," Sirius laughed, wondering what kind of world tomorrow would bring. But he had everything he needed. His friends, Remus. Perhaps he might one day have his brother back too.
For now, it was enough.
And they were happy.