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Icarus has been helping the search for more libraries. Rae’s been telling them how the structures are still around and now that they’re back he remembers even more of them.
They decided to head out on a small search for some, a little group going out. It would be a nice break from everything, just the focus on traveling and camping and information.
They settled on it being Rae, Centross, Fenris, and them. They’d set up the kids to stay with Caspian and Aax while they went out.
That’s where they were now, exploring large spruce Forrests and checking each cave to try and find another piece.
“It’s getting late, do we want to stop soon?” Fenris turns back to the group for a moment.
“Maybe. Let’s try to get past this mountain first though, yeah?”
Everyone nods.
They all pull out their rockets, launching themselves out of a small clearing. It was dark enough to see the stars, and they saw the distant lights of the villages nearby as they flew.
As they reach the other side of the mountain, Rae’s the first to spot a small crack in the snow. There was a faint light coming out of it, so they decided they would go check it out and camp out there for the night.
They land at the small mouth of a cave, heading inside with their armor and weapons out towards the light. As they get closer, they see a small area of the cave wall covered in wood bookshelves and lecterns with four books covering the extra space.
Rae laughs, smile turning bright as he turns to Fenris.
“We found one!”
He turns to Icarus and Centross then, gesturing to the books.
“So… who’s reading first?”
They all glance at each other, when nobody steps up Fenris sighs and raises his hand flippantly.
“Fine, fine I’ll read first.”
He walks up to the book closest to them, and Icarus walks around placing torches around them so no more mobs would spawn as Centross and Rae kill the remaining Zombies. When Rae nods Fenris opens the book and starts to read.
“Oh, wait… it’s a copy of the Lady of the World!” He picks it up handing it to Rae.
“That’s what that is, right?”
Rae nods. “We’ll make sure to give it to Caspian.” He places his shulker down, putting the first book inside, and walks to the next one.
“Okay, I’ll go next then.”
He opens the book and begins to read.
“Day 730
It’s the two-year anniversary since Mom went missing. Icarus says we shouldn't go in her room anymore. I guess we won't be having any more sleepovers in there...”
“Wait… this is a copy of notes three!” He laughs happily and picks it up flipping through the pages. “It’s here! It’s here again we didn’t… we didn’t have it…” he looks up at Icarus. “Since you were gone we didn’t have any of my notes mentioning you. I guess that included library books.”
He looks down and continues to read.
“Day 736
A man came to the house today. Icarus let him in. He says he knew Mom, I don’t know who he is but Icarus says he’s their dad.
He looks like the man in my nightmares.
Day 737
Mr. Fable is staying with us. He told us mom got taken away to the End. Mom used to tell us stories of that place but said we could never go. She won’t even allow us to go to the Nether with her.
[ Several pages are missing ]
Day 748
Having Mr. Fable is nice. He doesn’t talk to me much, but at least we always have food now. He was real upset when Icarus told him I used to steal from the village nearby. I got sent to my room. I don’t understand. Icarus lied to get food too, but Mr. Fable wasn’t angry with them?
Day 749
Mr. Fable apologized for being angry. He said he understood and instead took us outside to teach us how to fix the farm so that we’ll always have food. He even taught us how to make golden apples and carrots! They’re so tasty!
Day 752
I miss mom.
Day 758
I asked Mr. Fable to tell us the star stories. Like mom used to. He did- and then he told us another one. When momma was pregen- pren- when momma was making me in her belly. Mr. Fable thought he was gonna be my dad. He had a fancy name picked out for me- a hero's name. Like Icarus.
He seemed really sad mom picked a different name for me instead. I didn't mean to make him sad.
Day 778
I made a friend today! I've never had a friend my age. They said they came from the ocean! They even look different, like an axolotl! But they said it’s not that, he said they’re part Olm. I don’t know what an olm is, I wonder if… I will ask him when I get home. Maybe Mr. Fable can help with Percy!
… Nevermind. I don’t wanna tell Mr. Fable about Percy. I called him dad when I got home and Mr. Fable was really really mad… he…”
Rae pauses, taking a shaky breath.
“You want me to read the rest Starlight?”
Fenris murmurs, coming up next to him. Rae just nods and hands Fenris the book.
“I called him dad when I got home and Mr. Fable was really mad. He… he hit me. Momma never did that. But I don’t want to leave Percy… I said I would get help so I will. I’ll go back tonight with supplies.“
They tune Fenris out then, too distracted by the way Rae keeps looking at them. It was weird, he seemed sympathetic, or sad? They couldn’t tell. Whatever it was it kept them distracted enough before Fenris reached the end of what was left of the notebook.
“Day 867
I'm going to be in so much trouble. Icarus caught me sneaking out and they're going to taddle. They always do.
Day 868
I didn't make it up.
...Did I?”
Fenris sighs heavily, closing the notebook and handing it back to Rae. He nods gratefully at him before placing it in his shulker box. But instead of turning to the next book, he turns back to Icarus.
“Do you… do you remember any of that? Now?”
He asks, fidgeting with his shirt.
Their mouth pressed into a frown, and they shook their head.
“No. Still don’t. Think it’s a fable thing though, so… I don’t know if I can get those back naturally.” They shrug.
“I mean… I can restore them.” They look back up at Rae then.
“I did it with Isla, and I’m sure with help from maybe even Caspian we can get you those memories back if you want.”
“Yeah. Maybe sometime we should look into that yeah? Get some more information?”
He nods, gaze lingering on them for a moment before turning to the next book.
“Alright, who is reading this one?”
Icarus volunteers this time, stepping up to the lectern.
“It’s called please remember…” they pause before starting to read.
“Your name is Rae Morningstar.
Your mother was Isla Morningstar, a princess of her kingdom. You are Enderian’s son. Sherbert is your brother. They are your older brother, from Isla and Fable.
They've done a lot wrong. But they're working, so so hard to be better. We only just found out we're brothers. Don't forget them.
Centross is one of your best friends. As crazy as that sounds. You want to be there to see him become a better man.
Athena and Jamie are your nephews. Technically, Athena is your cousin. Remember to always be there for them. I think they'll always be there for each other.
If you remember. Or even if you don't, go find Ocie. She knows. She can help. And she needs to know she's not alone. Don't let her be alone.
Aax and Caspian are your everything. You're doing this for them. All of this is to make sure you can stay together. You need them and even if sometimes you forget, they need you too.
Tell Caspian he is important. Don't leave Aax to be alone. They are your sunset and sunrise. You can be their star.
And if they forget you, don't give up. They can remember. You can still protect them.
You'll always love them.”
They hum, closing it and turning to hand it to Rae.
He nods in thanks, placing it in the shulker as well.
“That was written in the skulk reset, yeah?”
Rae nods. “Mhm. Another precaution.”
“Glad we didn’t need it” Centross mumbled where he was standing next to Fenris.
There are three murmurs of agreement.
“Alright. Violet, do you want to read this one?”
Rae turns to him, gesturing to the last book.
He laughs. “Sure, yeah. I’ll read it.”
Centross walks up to the last book, carefully opening it only to frown just slightly as he reads.
“It’s untitled. Not a lot is written in it but it looks messy, like it was quickly written down?”
He pauses taking a breath before reading the contents of the book.
“Don’t trust them.
They will never be your friends.
Friends don’t do what they did.
You are alone.”
Icarus holds their breath, memories flooding back to the surface that they *didn't want*
Their hands are shaking and their breathing is wrong and *fuck why that book*
“The next part is written all in capitals, I don’t know if that’s important but…” he sighs before continuing.
“YOU ARE ALONE
YOU ARE ALONE
YOU ARE ALONE”
Fenris comes up next to them, lightly bumping their shoulder. “You okay?”
“U-um… yeah, yeah I’m fine- uh-”
Their ears are ringing now.
They don’t want to go back there
They don’t want to go back they don’t want-
It wasn’t long before they heard the familiar voices in their head. The all to familiar memories of their time spent in the cell. When their “friends” came to talk to them.
The first memory that came through was their conversation with Will.
-=+=-
“Who was next on your hit list huh? Was it Athena?”
“That’s none of your concern.”
“Oooh so it was Athena! I’m sure there are many people that would love to hear that.”
——
“You need to spend a lot of time in here I think.”
“Open the door”
“No. Definitely not. Not even after how just now you even spoke to me. We’ll figure out some way to fix whatever the heck is going on with Enderian and you.”
“You don’t need to FIX me”
“Yeah? So you’re saying that all of this, all this stuff that you’ve been doing. All this destruction, that’s all just been you? This whole time? That’s the kind of person you really are?”
“Yes.”
“Then maybe you should stay in here forever.”
-=+=-
They could tell that people were talking to them. They couldn’t make out anything they were saying over the blood rushing in their ears and the breathing they couldn’t get right. They covered their ears, closing their eyes tightly.
The next voice they heard was Athena’s.
-=+=-
“Because I found out so many things that we’ve done were not what I thought they were. That tree was not a precaution, and, you know what? That training wasn’t TRAINING! You just wanted a chance to beat up somebody that was weaker than you like a Coward.”
“Athena. I didn’t think you could *have* four strikes. I’m not a coward.”
“Really? Because you captured the most *easy* to fool person on this server. You know what? It’s so, it’s so easy to fool me. And you, you hurt me because I couldn’t fight back. You *knew* I couldn’t fight back. I couldn’t even hold a sword! And then you *shot Haley in the back* when she couldn’t *see you*. She couldn’t have fought back! So you are a coward.
That’s what Cowards do.”
-=+=-
They’ve been moved. They don’t know when or where but they were sitting on the ground of the cave with their back against a corner. The corner was stone and the wood planks of the library. And they were all sitting with them. There was still talking they couldn’t hear and everything was still going wrong but they could feel someone’s hands gently keeping theirs from tugging and pulling and clawing and *hurting*
-=+=-
“You know what? I’ll let you out on one condition.” Her eyes sharpen through the bars, hiding the emotions previously seen and only holding their anger.
“What?”
They lean against the cracked obsidian, one hand with their chin resting against it as they watch the nether hybrid seething in front of them.
“Just one. You take it back. You take back all of the *hurt* that you have caused these people on this server.
You take back what happened to Jamie because that was your fault.
You take back the eye bags under Rae’s eyes!
You take back what you did to Momboo to *hurt her.*
You take back Will’s house blowing up!
You take back everything that you did.
You bring Haley back from the dead and then I’ll let you out.
And those are my only conditions.
Because you know what?
At this point, I don’t think we can uncorrupt you. You’re too far gone. You’re gonna stay in here until you can fix everything you did and you can’t. That’s not possible. So you’re not coming out EVER.”
They can feel his anger through the bars. Through her sharp gaze and sharp tongue. They look at them and see themself. They see what they taught her. They see the lasting effect of their “training” they see the lasting effect of ominous bane and they feel it in the way he holds himself.
“I’m so proud of you.”
-=+=-
Their breathing was still all wrong. They started to make out pieces though.
“Go— - —Potions” They hear rockets go off and they’re alone they’re alone they left them alone-
“Hey—- you hear me Ic—-?” They let out a shaky breath. “-an you hear me birdsong?” They weakly nod, pulling their wings close to themself again, knees pressing sharply against their chest.
“Okay. Okay good. Hi, pretty bird” he murmurs, gently squeezing their hands. Their hands burned, and they guessed digging their nails into their palms caused them to bleed. That wouldn’t be new.
“You think you can take some deep breaths for me, Hm?”
They nod again, and he takes a few exaggerated even breaths his thumb gently tracing against their knuckles.
It takes them a while- too long in their opinion- but they get their breathing to a semi-acceptable level.
“Where are you right now?”
He asks and it takes them a moment. They were there, they were back there they didn’t want to be back there-
They blink their eyes open, scanning the empty cave in front of them. Centross was sitting beside them at an angle, probably to not make them feel cornered and trapped (they can’t tell him how much they appreciate that)
They let out another shaky breath and he nods.
“There you go. You’re here, we’re at the library remember?” They nod, taking a few more deep breaths. “You wanna talk about what happened there?” He asks once their breathing is more under control again.
They wince. Thinking about it left a bitter taste in their mouth, along with a lingering feeling of fear and anger and a lack of anything else that left them feeling wrong.
They should talk about it. They can’t exactly run from it forever now, can they? They can’t do what they did last time. Ven was nice enough to leave it be but there were three other people this time and all of them were stubborn as hell when it came to things like this.
They sigh nodding.
“Okay. I sent Rae and Fenris home, they’ll be there when we get back with some stuff to treat your hands, and if you want to talk to them we can. Let’s just get you out of this cave first, yeah?”
They nod. He gets up, taking their hand to pull them up carefully holding their arms to steady them when they stumble over shaky legs.
“C’mon, I’ll carry you.”
“What? No, you don’t have to do that I can walk.” They mumble, voice shaky.
“Yeah? I don’t think you can.” He huffs out a laugh. They protest as he hooks his arm under their knees, they can walk just fine thank you, he maneuvered his other hand around their ruffled wings. He flies, not using his wings this time (they forget he can do that). He murmurs some kind of reassurance and they mumble some sort of insult but are left quiet for most of the flight.
As they fly, they curl in on themselves slightly. They eventually relax, though just a little. They lightly rest their head against his shoulder, their face hidden by their messy hair. Their goggles sat around their neck, instead of their usual place on their head, so nothing was holding their hair in place.
They sigh softly and close their eyes. They just listen to Centross’s heartbeat. Something to confirm to them that this was real, that he was real. That they weren’t back in that stupid fucking *obsidian box*.
He lands carefully and they open their eyes. They’re outside still (they don’t think they could be inside now even with how open their house was-)
He places them down on a bench up on the ice. The cold was nice. Helped ground them easier than anything else. Centross sat beside them, sitting so he was facing them.
They just breathe for a bit, allowing themself to breathe before they surely won’t be able to when talking about it again (because they never could without panicking now could they)
After a while, Centross tilts his head to the side slightly. “You wanna talk about what happened back there, or are you just gonna leave me in the dark here Angel.”
They sigh, pulling their knees up to their chest again and moving to face him.
How do they even explain this without it sounding fucking pathetic? (It isn’t. It’s one of the many things they haven’t talked to anyone about but one of the biggest ones that affects them.)
“I don’t know… how? I never really talked about any of this stuff before.” They mumble, fidgeting with their rings.
He nods, his voice soft when he speaks next. “Why don’t you start with the book? What was that?”
They sigh shakily, wings pulling tight against their sides.
“I- um. I wrote that while in the prison. During the endstone reset.” They say simply, casting their eyes down. The wood seemed very interesting to them at the moment.
They heard Centross adjust slightly, letting out a shaky breath.
“When?”
“It was twice. The first page I wrote after Will came to talk to me. The other was… the day after Athena did I think.”
He nods. “Anythin they said in particular make you write? Just them being there or… something else?”
“Um…” they pause, trying to think back to what they said.
“Will was saying something about Athena at the start. Uh-” They think back to the conversation with him. The way he was speaking, the way they could feel his eyes staring through the mask.
-
“That’s the kind of person you really are?”
“Yes.”
“Then maybe you should stay in here forever.”
-
They shake their head.
“I dunno. Think he was just talkin about how they should just leave me in there. Never let me out.” They pick at the loose threads of their jeans, eyes trained on their hands so they wouldn’t have to see what Centross thought.
“And Athena?” He prompts gently.
-
“You take back what happened to Jamie because that was your fault.
You take back the eye bags under Rae’s eyes!
You take back what you did to Momboo to *hurt her.*
You take back Will’s house blowing up!
You take back everything that you did.
You bring Haley back from the dead and then I’ll let you out.
And those are my only conditions.
Because you know what?
At this point, I don’t think we can uncorrupt you. You’re too far gone. You’re gonna stay in here until you can fix everything you did and you can’t. That’s not possible. So you’re not coming out EVER.”
-
“Um- they brought up everything I did telling me to take it back.”
-
“You bring Haley back from the dead and then I’ll let you out”
-
“He just said that he didn’t think I could be uncorrupted at that point. That I’m too far gone. That I was going to stay in the cell until I could fix everything I did, and that I couldn’t. That it’s not possible. So I wasn’t going to get out, ever.”
They huff out a weak laugh.
“I told them I was proud of them” their voice breaks just slightly. They let out a shaky breath, running one of their hands through their hair.
Centross hums softly, one hand moving to wipe the stray tears from their face before taking their hands again unclenching their fists and gently running his thumb over the broken skin where their nails were.
“Sorry.”
They mumble, watching his movements carefully.
“It’s alright. We can heal that easily, just don’t want it to get any worse.” He mumbles, lightly squeezing their hands again. They sit in a comfortable silence for a bit before he speaks again.
“I don’t know how much *I* can help. I know I’m not the best source of anything having to do with the endstone reset, but I can tell you that Rae was still trying. Rae wouldn’t have given up on you, no matter how long it took them or what you did. He was still trying then, and I think he’d try now.”
But would he? They can barely stop themself from saying it because that’s not fair. Yes, Rae snapped at them before when they were working with Fable. But it was different. There were different circumstances it was *different*.
But why did it feel the same?
“He- uh, he would though?”
Centross raises an eyebrow but waits for them to continue.
“Uh- He did. Before. When I was working with Fable.” They tap their fingers lightly against his hands, they need to do something.
“He was so ready to just kill me. I thought he was.”
They pause before clarifying.
“And I’m not saying he didn’t have any right to do that, because he did. He had every right to do that and say those things. And he had every right not to take them back-” They cut themself off from rambling, taking a shaky breath.
(It’s not like the words he said still play in the back of their head whenever they talk to him. It’s fine. He cares, he would help them. He would… he wouldn’t leave them alone again.)
“What in particular did he say that makes you think he would leave you miserable like that?” Centross pushes gently, lightly squeezing their hands again.
They huff, thinking back now to their conversation with Rae.
“I think… I mean I don’t remember that well.” They pause, trying to figure out what exactly it was.
-
“I keep giving you chances. But Jamie? That’s my *real* family Icarus! I should just end you right now- but I won’t! Not because, for some fucked up reason I still care about you- but because your father would take away everything *else* I care about if you die.”
You’re not worth another reset Icarus.”
-
“Uh-um.” They try to steady their breathing.
“Hey, you’re okay.” Centross murmurs, one hand carefully moving to comb through their hair.
“Sorry- sorry uh…” they breathe for a moment. “I didn’t- I just remembered what exactly he said.”
“Did you not remember before?”
“Um- no? But that wasn’t a fable thing or some weird… memory stuff. I think that was just me.” They mumble. He nods.
“Okay, sorry- uh- he said, ‘I keep giving you chances. But Jamie? That’s my *real* family Icarus. I should just end you right now- but I won’t. Not because, for some fucked up reason I still care about you- but because your father would take away everything else I care about if you die.’” His hands pause in their hair for barely a moment, before continuing to comb through the tangled strands.
“Before he left he just said I wasn’t worth another reset.” They shrug.
“I deserved it, I’m not trying to antagonize him at all he had every right to say that-“ Centross shushes them softly, cutting them off.
“Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt you. Even if you were being an ass at the time, doesn’t mean you can’t still feel hurt.” He murmurs, moving his hand to their jaw, thumb gently running over their scar before resting on their cheek.
“Also doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel differently about it now. I think, now, he would do- I’m not gonna say everything- but a lot of things for you.”
His thumb traces gentle lines along their cheekbone.
“And I know that now you have people here now who would do the same. You have people who would work to help you. You have people who are gonna do everything in their power to make sure you won’t be alone again.”
He pauses, his voice softening again.
“I know I can promise that as long as I’m here you’re sure as hell not gonna be alone.”
They let out a shaky breath. “Promise?”
He smiles. “Course. I promise.” The hand holding theirs moves to link their pinkies together causing them to laugh.
“Listen, I think after that potion you made a pinky promise is a lot more valuable.” He mumbles, leaning forward so his forehead rests lightly against theirs.
“Oh shut up!”