Work Text:
Ocean hadn’t been able to choose a person to go back. To her, everyone had such good reasons to live again, and to just choose one would be selfish. So, she chose none.
It had pissed off a lot of the choir. Not that they specifically weren’t chosen, but that no one got that opportunity.
Karnak still died, though. He didn’t seem too happy by Ocean’s decision either. That didn’t really matter though, because now he was a useless piece of colorful metal.
The choir had given Ocean the silent treatment for a few days. Days? The warehouse where they had their purgatory had no concept of time. Or maybe it was hell. They couldn’t eat or sleep. Just explore the abandoned warehouse. Ocean realized shortly after they arrived that they didn’t even have a pulse.
Anyways, the choir was upset with her for some time. All except Constance and Savannah. Constance understood Ocean’s actions. She couldn’t say she supported them, but she always so loyal to Ocean. Too loyal, Ocean believed.
And then there was Savannah. Sweet, loving Savannah. She fully accepted the name after Ricky proposed it to her. Ocean appreciated Savannah. She loved how emphatic Savannah was, how she stood behind Ocean, how she still showed Ocean the same weird but lovable personality…
The second those thoughts entered Ocean head, she let out a small yelp. Her face became red at the realization that she, Ocean O’Connell-Rosenberg, had a crush on Savannah.
Ocean looked over to said girl. Savannah was pressing random keys on Ricky’s accordion while he wasn’t looking. Each new note made Savannah’s head tilt in curiosity. It was such an endearing quirk. When Ocean first arrived, she thought Savannah was creepy and strange. Quickly, though, Ocean became Savannah’s friend. Sure, the whole headless girl thing took some time to get used to, but Ocean is nothing if not adaptable.
Ricky gently took the accordion from Savannah’s grasp. He grasped her fingers between his own and pressed them against certain keys, which played a sweet melody. It was a nice moment, but it made Ocean’s stomach churn.
Ocean thought about what she would do if she was Ricky in that situation. She would let Savannah play whatever notes she wanted. Ocean thought that anything Savannah created was beautiful.
Ocean groaned, thinking she sounded like Noel.
…
Savannah tied the pink cape into a bow. The fabric was thick, so she struggled, but got it eventually. She smiled at the memory, Ocean placing the party hat on her head and making a whole new song for her.
Savannah picked the bow up and walked towards Ocean. The latter was laying on the floor and staring at the ceiling, clearly lost in thought. There wasn’t much to do in the warehouse. It was getting boring at that point.
“Ocean, look,” Savannah said. Her stiff movements and diction never changed. Ocean looked over, and when she saw the girl she was enamored with, Ocean quickly sat up straight and began listening. Savannah picked up the bow and sloppily dropped it on Ocean’s head.
The bow was too heavy, combined with the velvety fabric on hair made the bow slip down onto Ocean’s lap. She picked it up curiously.
“What’s this?” Ocean asked.
“It’s the cape from my birthday,” Savannah responded as she sat down next to Ocean.
“Oh… Oh, yeah!” Ocean smiled. She picked it up and carefully placed it on her head, wary as to not to move too much.
Savannah twisted the ribbon headband on her own head, revealing a little black bow once concealed from her blonde locks.
“Now we are matching,” Savannah said, cracking a small smile. A smile from Savannah were few and far between, so Ocean felt a surge of pride knowing that she made her smile.
Ocean removed the bow from her head and felt the fabric in her hands. It was soft when you dragged your hand on it in one direction, and rough in the other direction. She turned and looked at Savannah again. Now was a better time than ever, Ocean supposed.
“Look, Savannah, I have—“
“Savannah?”
Both girls directed their attention to the familiar voice. Ricky. Ocean wanted to roll her eyes. She definitely became a better person compared to who she once when she and the choir first arrived, but Ricky made her want to revert back to her old self.
Ocean knew that Ricky was a smart, friendly person. But it was obvious to anyone that Ricky was infatuated with Savannah. And so was Ocean.
“Yes?” Savannah cocked her head to the side.
“Can I talk to you privately?” Ricky asked, flapping his hands while keeping his arms at his sides. That was another thing about Ricky that Ocean resented. Ocean got so used to masking being neurodivergent. Meanwhile, Ricky never felt like he had to hide who he was.
Savannah turned look back at Ocean, waiting for confirmation. Ocean reluctantly nodded and gave her a sad smile.
Ocean watched as Ricky led Savannah to the other side of the warehouse. She watched as Ricky looked down at his moving hands and say something inaudible. She watched the girl she cared for so much smile so wide, wider than Ocean could ever make her smile. She watched Savannah say something else inaudible, causing Ricky to smile and laugh. Ocean O’Connell-Rosenberg saw Ricky awkwardly press a kiss against Savannah. Her Savannah. Well, I guess she wasn’t hers anymore. Or ever.
Ocean felt tears brim in her eyes as she ran behind the large curtains. Once alone, Ocean fell to the floor, brought her knees up to her chest, and let the sobs rack her body. No one knew about her crush. The only person she could tell was Constance, but she wanted Savannah and Ricky to get together more than anyone. And the rest of the choir acted bitter towards Ocean.
Ocean felt like a burden. It was like living with her parents again, not wanting to get in the way of the order and sanctity of things. Of course Savannah and Ricky got together, why wouldn’t they? That was how it was supposed to go. That conclusion only made Ocean’s breath quicken and her vision get blurry.
“Ocean?”
Noel peered his head in from the other side of the curtain. Ocean whipped her head around. When she saw who it was, she immediately wiped her tears away.
“I’m fine,” she croaked out. Noel laughed at the sound of her voice cracks.
“You think this is funny?” Ocean tried.
“A little? I’ve never seen you cry,” Noel reasoned. Ocean scoffed. She’d rather die than let anyone see her cry. Ocean quickly realized that that phrase didn’t really work anymore. Nevertheless, Ocean was independent and smart. She hadn’t cried in years, and hated that she was breaking her streak.
“Just let me mourn,” Ocean shoved her face in her hands. If she hadn’t obstructed her view, she would’ve seen Noel almost leave her alone, before sighing and sitting down next to her.
“What happened?” Noel reluctantly asked. He placed a just as reluctant hand around Ocean’s shoulders.
“I thought you hated me,” Ocean mumbled as she removed her face from her hands.
“I don’t hate you, Ocean, we’re just mad at you— You know what, I’m pushing my personal feelings aside,” Noel said.
“That’s a first,” Ocean chuckled, avoiding eye contact.
“… I don’t have to be here. I could leave you here to cry all alone,” Noel threatened.
“Then do it! I don’t want you here!” Ocean yelled, feeling more tears run down her face. Instead of doing what he warned, Noel rocked Ocean back and forth as she silently cried into her knees.
“It’s him. It’s always been him,” Noel heard Ocean mumbled.
“Who?” Noel asked. Ocean lifted her head once more.
“I can’t tell you. I’ll ruin everything,” Ocean cried.
“My lips are sealed,” Noel promised as he made a zipper motion to his lips.
“Ricky.”
That was all Ocean had to say for Noel to understand. Sort of.
“Ah, you heard they got together,” Noel hummed.
“Yup.”
“And you’re jealous—“
“Yup.”
“—of Savannah.”
“Yu—what?!” Ocean jumped at the thought. Her? And Ricky? The idea made her shutter.
“Am I wrong? I thought that was what you meant?” Noel apologized.
“It’s… It’s Savannah…” Ocean hesitantly revealed.
“Oh… Oh! Oh, my god, Ocean, I’m so sorry,” Noel said as he rubbed Ocean’s shoulder.
“It’s fine. It was inevitable,” Ocean sniffled.
“I mean we did all see it coming,” Ocean gave him a dirty look before he continued, “But! I understand liking someone when they’re with someone else. You want her to be happy.”
“More than anything,” Ocean said dreamily.
“But, Ocean, you also deserve happiness. Life, or death, I guess, sucks. So, let yourself mourn. Mischa has movies pirated on his phone, so we can watch all the trashy romcoms together and make fun of them. Does that sound… appealing?” Noel offered. Ocean smiled wide before capturing him in a tight hug. Noel was surprised at first but soon reciprocated. They stayed like that for a few seconds before Ocean broke it to stand up. She tried to flatten any wrinkles in her dress and wiped away any remaining tears.
“Thank you, Noel. I really appreciated this,” Ocean smiled.
“Anytime, Ocean,” Noel stood up and began walking towards the other side of the curtain.
“Wait, Noel, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for how I treated you. And everyone, really. And I’m sorry for not choosing anyone to come back. You all had such beautiful reasons to keep living and I couldn’t just choose one of you. I thought I was doing the right thing, but—“
“It’s okay, really. I’m sorry some of us refused to talk to you. In retrospect, that was actually really immature. I guess we just aren’t used to you doing things with good intent?”
Ocean let herself laugh a little at the absurdity of it all.
“Are we good now?” Ocean asked. She always needed reassurance. Noel gave her a warm, friendly smile.
“Yeah,” and with that, Noel disappeared from behind the curtain.