Archive of Our Own

Ryo pursed his lips in displeasure as he stared down at the sheet of paper on the table, surveying his neatly written characters with a critical eye. He wasn’t satisfied with the wording of the note because he knew it would make his lover worry needlessly, but words had never been his forte. That was Vincent’s speciality, and Ryo didn’t have the time nor the energy to fret over it further. His awkward, clumsy words would have to do. 

So Ryo shrugged a jacket over his shoulders and pulled his small suitcase out the door, battling a wave of melancholy as the door of their shared apartment clicked shut behind him.

I’m going on a trip. If you have the energy for it, let’s play another game of hide and seek, just like old times. 

-

A few hours earlier…

Ryo woke up to the sound of Vincent taking a phone call. Sluggishly, Ryo turned to the side, reading the display on the digital clock through bleary eyes. 9:04am. If it were a normal work day, Ryo would already be at the office looking over spreadsheets and downing his second coffee of the morning. 

But today was different. It was a Wednesday, but instead of it being the middle of yet another work week, it was the first day of his forced paid holiday. Apparently, he’d accrued too much annual leave, so his boss had kindly, but firmly, informed Ryo on the previous Friday that he was going to have a week off without listening to any of his complaints. Under no circumstances was he to return to the office unless he wanted to be locked in a room with Tayane and Klara, and it was only then that Ryo had accepted his fate. 

“Relax Ryo, go out and enjoy life. Drink water, get some sunlight, I’m sure you’ll find something to keep you busy." Liam had said with a hearty laugh as he beckoned him out the door the day before. “You’ve got a long career ahead of you, take the time and spend it with your loved ones. You can’t waste all your youth working.” 

In some ways, Ryo couldn’t deny Liam’s words. Since working at Valorant a few years ago, Ryo had never needed to take personal leave, so it wasn’t surprising he had so much holiday saved up. It had taken hours for him to warm up to the idea of going on leave and lots of coaxing on Vincent’s part. His lover had sealed the deal when he revealed that he was also going to take time off so that they could spend the entire seven days together. At the time, Ryo’s heart had soared in delight at the rare opportunity that had presented itself. 

Seven full uninterrupted days with his lover, when was the last time they’d been able to spend so much time together? It had to be at least five years ago, when Ryo was still in university and Vincent had yet to take over his father’s business. Life had been simpler then, before full time work ate up the majority of their waking hours, and so Ryo was eagerly looking forward to the holiday together. Maybe they could finally go and look for a new dishwasher together, or try out the Italian restaurant that had opened up around the block. In all his excitement, Ryo had even compiled a long list of things they could do together after searching on the internet for hours, and his dreams had been warm and pleasant. 

But Ryo’s heart sank at the tone of his lover’s voice, terse and thin with dissatisfaction. Already, he had a feeling that his little holiday ‘plans’ were about to be ruined, because why else would Vincent be in such a mood when he was the early bird of the two of them? 

“I told you that I would be unavailable this week.” Vincent murmured quietly into the speaker, no doubt being conscientious of Ryo beside him. “No matter what they say, no matter who they are, the matter can wait a few days… What should you tell them? That’s your job, no? No, I don’t want to hear excuses, I want you to deal with this mess.”

The conversation went back and forth for a few minutes, before Vincent cut the call with an irritated sigh. After a brief pause, he turned around to face Ryo, smiling gently as though the phone call from earlier had been just a figment of his imagination. But Ryo knew all of Vincent’s tells, and could still see the tension in his broad shoulders. Whatever problem had arisen was clearly worrying him, but he didn’t want Ryo to know this. 

“Good morning, mon amour. Did I wake you?” Vincent purred, leaning down to press butterfly kisses against Ryo’s forehead. Ryo snorted at the sappy gesture, playfully turning his head to the side to avoid the onslaught, only for his lover to cage his head between his arms so he couldn’t run. Like this, Ryo’s entire world was narrowed down to just him and Vincent, and he sighed contentedly at the thought. 

If only he could freeze time and etch this precious moment in his memories forever, for him to live out endlessly in those long moments when they were apart. But alas, it was a silly, wistful thought that Ryo banished with reluctance. He hid his own ruefulness by cupping Vincent’s cheeks between his hands, laughing at the ticklish sensation of the very light stubble rubbing against his fingers. 

“Good morning to you too, Vincent. Did you sleep well?” 

Vincent ducked in for another kiss, easily overpowering Ryo’s half-hearted grip on his face. His eyes were sparkling with mischief, and Ryo couldn’t help the fondness that rose in his chest. That look hadn’t changed a bit since the day they’d met fourteen years ago, and Ryo knew how blessed he was to be the one who could see it up close and personal. He would cherish each moment like it was his last, because there was no telling how much longer their happy equilibrium could last. 

“Of course, I always sleep well when I have my favourite pillow in my arms.”

“Not a pillow.” Ryo grumbled with mock annoyance, but he couldn’t keep the act up for long, not when Vincent had started nuzzling into the junction between his neck and shoulder like a whimsical cat. Cute, who else in the world knew that the sharp and cunning Vincent Fabron could act cute like this? It made Ryo’s heart thump wildly in his chest. “You need to shave, your stubble is tickling-... Hey! No biting, I’m not a snack!” 

His lover chuckled unapologetically as he lathed the bite mark he’d left with saliva. “Oh? But you’re so sweet, I couldn’t help myself.”

Ravenous, insatiable beast. Ryo wanted to spontaneously combust at the juxtaposition between the saccharinely sweet words and the hungry look in Vincent’s eyes. If Ryo didn’t put his foot down, he would inevitably be swept away in Vincent’s pace and neither of them would be getting anything productive done. This would have been fine, if not for the call from earlier.

Sobering up a little, Ryo put more force into his grip as he pulled Vincent back. “That was work, wasn’t it?” 

“Ah, yes.” Vincent averted his gaze as though ashamed by the admission. “There was some trouble, but they can handle it. I have faith in my employees, since I only hire the best.” 

Perhaps it would have been a convincing lie to anyone else, but Ryo prided himself on not being ‘anyone else’. He flicked Vincent’s nose in rebuke. “It’s got something to do with the new contract with that French company, isn’t it?”

“... Yes.” 

Ryo smiled at the honesty, which didn’t always come easily or naturally to his silver tongued lover, to a man used to lying and keeping the peace to achieve his goals. He liked to think it was his influence on Vincent that had made him open up more, but perhaps that was just his own ego speaking. “Then you’ve got to go to work.”

“But our holiday…” Ah, truly, Ryo knew he didn’t stand a chance against Vincent when he was like this, when he was looking at him so pitifully. Ryo was always weak to that look, so he closed his eyes to keep his heart firm.

In truth, Vincent definitely understood that he needed to go. This was a huge contract, one that could really solidify his company’s position in the global market. He needed to smooth over even the slightest wrinkles to ensure success, and evidently, they had run into some kind of disagreement or issue. The only reason why he was still here now, despite the urgency of the situation, was because he’d promised to spend the holiday with Ryo, and Vincent Fabron may have been a schemer and a liar, but he wasn’t one to break a promise. 

If Ryo asked him to stay, he had no doubt that Vincent would do so in a heartbeat, no matter the consequences to his company. This was his lover’s extreme consideration for him, and it was enough to fill Ryo with a sense of superiority and joy. 

But of course, Ryo wouldn’t ask that of his lover. When he regained his composure, Ryo shook his head. “You need to go Vince. We have the entire week, deal with this shit and come home.”

He silenced Vincent’s concerns with a kiss, persistently attacking Vincent’s lips until they were both sitting upright. Dazed but pleased at Ryo’s assertiveness, Vincent finally got up and out of bed, dressing in his usual sleek attire whilst Ryo made him a simple breakfast. 

“I’m sorry, Ryo. I didn’t want our week to begin like this.” Vincent murmured against his ear, wrapping powerful arms around Ryo’s torso as he flipped the eggs. It was a nuisance, but Ryo didn’t mind the restriction in the slightest even when Vincent rested his head heavily against his shoulder. Vincent’s embrace had always been warm, despite how cold blooded everyone assumed he was, and Ryo could have easily lived in the cage of Vincent’s arms for as long as he was allowed. 

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I’m not that weak, idiot.” Ryo said dismissively, hoping the crackle of the eggs in the pan was loud enough to hide the dissent in his heart. After the coffee had been brewed, they shared a meal hastily before his lover was out the door on his way to the office. Ryo saw him off with a kiss, and only after the door had shut did he let the words he’d been swallowing the entire time spill out. 

“Don’t go…” He laughed self-deprecatingly as his own selfishness, glad that there was no one there to witness his pathetic state. 

There was no way he could say words like that and risk getting in Vincent’s way. In the first place, he was sure their relationship was something borne out of familiarity and convenience. Sure, Vincent had to love him to some degree, but what advantage was there to dating a man over a woman? 

Ryo was very clearly a young, healthy man. He didn’t have any soft curves like a woman, couldn’t give Vincent a child to continue his bloodline, and he certainly couldn’t show his face in the media anywhere without there being a massive outcry. He couldn’t give anything to Vincent, so at the very least, he had to make sure there weren’t any ‘disadvantages’ to being with him. This was the only way Ryo could extend their relationship, so he did his utmost not to be a burden to his lover. 

One day, Ryo was sure that Vincent would leave him for a beautiful lady, possibly the heiress or CEO of another massive corporation. The tabloids would eat up the story of the next biggest power couple who were sure to dominate the market for the next few decades. They’d eventually settle down, have a few kids, and live a perfect, idyllic lifestyle that everyone dreamed of. This was the way it should be, the natural progression of the ‘golden road’ of Vincent’s life, and Ryo knew this well. That was why he had to make the most of the time they had together, savouring each and every moment so that when Vincent eventually left him, the memories they’d made together would be enough to sustain him for the rest of his miserable life.  

Perhaps Ryo should have been the one to cut off the relationship first. If he was a better person, he would never have impulsively confessed to Vincent on the day he graduated university. Despite the age gap of five years, they’d been tight friends since childhood after Vincent moved into his neighbourhood. His father had put a huge emphasis on ensuring Vincent didn’t grow up to be an entitled brat, and actively encouraged his son to make friendships with other kids. Ryo had just happened to be the one who stuck around the longest, the one he grew fondest of for some obscure reason. 

Falling for Vincent Fabron hadn’t happened immediately. At first, Ryo had simply admired the older boy for his intelligence and wit, for the kindness he showed Ryo, and also the teeth he bared whenever someone tried to harm him. No one else thought Ryo worth standing up for, so it was inevitable that Ryo developed a bit of hero worship to the one person besides his mother who seemed to care about his wellbeing. 

But after being caught in Vincent’s orbit, it was impossible to leave, and that was when the feelings had crept in. Falling for Vincent had been a gradual process, and by the time he realised what had happened, it was already too late. The water he thought had been shallow was actually as unfathomable and deep as the ocean, and he was beyond the point of saving. All Ryo could do was try to keep his head above water and paddle desperately to survive the whirlpool of emotions Vincent evoked in him.

He hadn’t expected Vincent to accept his confession. In their shared apartment on the day of his graduation, Ryo had blurted out his feelings fuelled by the liquid courage provided by alcohol. He did this with the full intention of passing it off as a drunken joke in the morning when his heart was broken to pieces, but Vincent did nothing of that sort. Instead, the older man had hugged him close, hands digging into his sides so tightly there had been bruises on his skin for days, before laughing sweetly.

“Ah, I’m truly no match for you. To think that you beat me to a confession, Ling is going to laugh at me for sure. I love you too, more than you could ever imagine. It would be my honour to date you, my sweet Ryo. But let’s go to bed and chat again in the morning. I don’t want you to say something ridiculous like this was all just a drunk joke when you wake up, you see.” 

That had been the start of their relationship four years ago, and Ryo could never bring himself to regret his confession. It wasn’t the right thing to do morally, but he couldn’t force himself to let go of the wonderful man that was Vincent Fabron. He had always mocked the clingy girls in Vincent’s life who had tried to force themselves upon him, but in reality, wasn’t he the same? Wasn’t he the one selfishly holding Vincent back, hindering his lover’s ascent to fortune and glory? 

Life with Vincent had been a fairytale, but it wasn’t without its thorns. Even if they lived together, they hardly got to spend much time together outside of the weekends. They were both working full time and their schedules hardly ever synced up. Often, Vincent would arrive home by the time Ryo was about to sleep, and Ryo would be out of the house on the way to work an hour before Vincent woke in the morning. It also wasn’t uncommon for Vincent’s weekends to be eaten up by his business, since the CEO truly didn’t get any days off. 

There was a definite dissonance to their work clocks, and truly, Ryo found himself baffled why Vincent continued to put up with him when they could hardly say even simple things like ‘goodnight’ and ‘good morning’ to one another. Were things really okay like this? Vincent made him the happiest man on the planet, but could the same be said of him? 

Somehow, he doubted this immensely. 

“Ah fuck.” Ryo cursed into his hands as he slumped deeper into the luxurious couch, the one Vincent had purchased on a whim when Yoru saw an advertisement on the TV and expressed slight interest. He wasn’t usually prone to bouts of self-doubt and low confidence, but his lover had a way of messing with his mind and dredging up painfully embarrassing feelings. Ryo had full confidence in what he did in his day to day life, but he always felt like he was making the wrong decisions when it came to his relationship with Vincent. It was always him taking and being a burden, and if he truly claimed to love Vincent the most in the world, then surely he should be able to make the right choice and give it all up.

Right? 

It was pathetic, Ryo was pathetic. An average salaryman with a sour face had no place beside a star like Vincent, so what was he doing here? How long could he keep behaving like a needy brat even though he was already a full fledged adult? Something needed to change, but Ryo didn’t have the courage to do that decisive ‘something’. His fingers ran along the ring Vincent had gifted him when they first started dating to try and soothe his fraying nerves, but it didn’t give him the comfort it usually provided. 

He sighed wearily as he got up. Ryo was pitiful, but not enough to waste an entire day moping. There was shit that could be done, so if his feelings were going to be a pain, he would at least sulk whilst doing something productive. He did all the unfinished housework, cleaning the bathroom and ironing and folding the laundry, but even the menial tasks weren’t enough to chase away his doubts from earlier. 

It was noon by the time he had finished all the household chores, and Ryo felt no better than earlier. Perhaps he could try sleeping, but their bed always felt painfully large when Vincent wasn’t there, so he was better off lounging on the couch. He flicked on the TV, surfing through the channels aimlessly as he tried to find something that could hold his attention. 

Nothing seemed to stick, until a quick ad for a travel company flashed onto the screen, showcasing a beautiful island getaway at a heavily reduced price. Ryo sat up in his chair, inspiration hitting him like a bolt of lightning. 

Getaway… Yes, perhaps this was what he could do. If his guess was correct, Vincent would likely be holed up in his office until late afternoon. So instead of moping all day like a petulant child, Ryo would make a bet to decide the fate of their relationship on a game of hide and seek. He would run away, and if Vincent found him within three days, then it was Vincent’s win. 

But if Vincent didn’t find him, then Ryo would finally work up the courage to end their relationship once and for all. It was a fitting way to potentially end their relationship, given how their first meeting had been the same, when Ryo’s classmates had ‘accidentally’ forgotten to tell him the game was over so he was left hiding for hours without anyone coming to check on him. Vincent had been the one to accidentally find him, and that had been the start of everything. 

Adrenaline pulsing, Ryo set his mind to the task, diligently searching through potential places he could travel to. On such short notice, he didn’t really want to catch a flight, so somewhere relatively close by would be good. In the end, he chose a city near the beach two hours away. Vincent had once mentioned in passing that he wanted to try the seafood there one day, given that it was the city’s speciality, and Ryo decided it was as good a place as any to go. 

With his destination in mind, Ryo pulled out a small business suitcase from their cupboard that was dusty from disuse, and quickly filled it with all the essentials he’d need. He only planned for a three day trip so he didn’t need to bring much, and he could always buy anything he’d missed when he arrived. 

But there was one small hitch in his plans. How was he meant to tell Vincent about the game? He didn’t want to call Vincent, because he didn’t trust he’d be able to hold onto his fragile resolve if his lover tried to talk him out of it. If he texted Vincent, his lover would call him instantly, ignoring all the work in front of him in distress. Ryo didn’t want to cause unnecessary trouble, so it would probably be best if he left a note. 

That was when he was faced with yet another problem: how could he word this game without causing Vincent to panic? Of course, he wasn’t going to expose the hidden stakes riding on this game so as not to apply pressure onto Vincent, but what was he supposed to do? Ryo wrote out a draft on a loose sheet of paper from Vincent’s office.

I’m going on a trip. Catch me if you can, idiot! 

But after he’d written the words out, he was forced to recognise another possibility. What if Vincent didn’t want to play this bothersome game of hide and seek? What if, after a long, tiresome day of work, his lover read his note and decided that he was sick of Ryo’s stupid antics? What if, instead of panicking about where Ryo had gone, he instead decided to order takeaway and sleep early? 

Ryo’s heart shrivelled up in his chest at the undeniable possibility, and he bunched the paper up into a ball and tossed it away. That’s right, he shouldn’t just assume Vincent would come running after him after pulling such a ridiculous stunt. He was better off leaving it more as an invitation, that way, he wouldn’t be as crushed if Vincent decided not to pursue. Ryo wrote out another note, but was still dissatisfied with the message.

I’m going on a trip. If you have the energy, let’s play one last game of hide and seek, for old time’s sake. 

Even if it was the truth, ‘one last game’ probably sounded too final and would no doubt ring major alarm bells in Vincent’s clever mind. In the end, he made a slight modification, and decided to leave it at that, before pulling his luggage out the door and making his way to the train station to begin what could be his final game of hide and seek.

-

Ryo had checked-in to the hotel when his phone blew up with calls, just as he’d predicted. He laughed ruefully as the name Vincent Fabron flashed across his screen, but despite the numerous calls, Ryo ignored each one. He had decided that until they met face to face, he wasn’t going to answer Vincent’s calls. But Ryo wasn’t cruel enough to cut off all communication completely, especially when his lover was the victim here. So when Vincent finally gave up and began texting him, Ryo fiddled with the ring to steel his resolve, before he answered dutifully. 

Vincent: Ryo, where are you? What do you mean ‘on a trip’? 

Vincent: Are you okay? 

Vincent: Please, at least tell me that you’re safe. 

Ryo: I’m fine, idiot. You don’t need to worry about me

Vincent: Then why won’t you answer my calls? What’s wrong Ryo? Let me make you feel better.

If only Vincent knew just how badly Ryo wanted to take up that offer, let the older man soothe his worries and fears like he solved complicated business problems. But Ryo wasn’t that weak. He had made up his mind, and nothing could shake his resolve now. 

Ryo: I’m hiding right now, so I obviously can’t answer your call :p If you want to speak to me, you’ve got to find me

Ryo: Or just wait a few days. I’ll be back soon

Yes, he’d be back to collect his things and break off their four year relationship and their fourteen year friendship. It would hurt, but Ryo couldn’t possibly stay in this state of comfortable inertia forever if he wanted what was best for Vincent. He kept that to himself though. 

Vincent’s response came instantly. 

Vincent: Give me a hint. I’ll be there shortly.

“Hah, that’s some confidence you have there.” Ryo muttered at his phone screen, smiling faintly. He hated the joy that had burst forth the moment Vincent confirmed that he was going to play the game, and he was going to give their relationship a chance of continuing. He shouldn’t have wanted this outcome, but his own vanity was satisfied that his lover cared enough to come and seek him out. Even if he didn’t get found, Ryo was happy enough just knowing this. 

Ryo: Lobster

He wasn’t going to give away more than that, but before he could shut off his phone, Vincent sent through two messages that made shivers crawl down his spine in anticipation. 

Vincent: I don’t know what’s happening and I wish you would answer my call so I can make sure you’re okay, but I’ll play your game if that’s what you want, Ryo. 

Vincent: But please prepare yourself, because when I catch you, I won’t let you get away again.

Ah, and there it was, Vincent’s relentless possessiveness striking once more. For a man who had literally everything he could ever want, it was a funny quirk that his love was so fiercely protective of what he considered his. This, apparently, included Ryo, and in the early days of their relationship, Vincent had been an absolute menace whenever Ryo returned from a work function with the smell of a colleague’s aftershave lingering on his skin. He was still just as bad, but at least he now listened to Ryo’s complaints and kept his marks underneath the collar. 

Ryo hadn’t explicitly stated that he was running away, but Vincent was far sharper than anyone could give him credit for. Perhaps he had read Ryo’s intentions like a book and understood the weight of this silly little game, but either way, he’d riled Vincent up, so it was only right he dealt with the fallout if Vincent were to find him. 

But Ryo still had time on his hands. It was only 4:00pm. Even if Vincent were to head straight here from their apartment, the earliest he could possibly arrive was around 6:00pm. No matter how clever Vincent was, it would surely take him at least an hour or two to work out exactly where Ryo was, so rather than waste time sitting in the hotel room, he decided to dress in his beachwear and go for a stroll by the ocean to help clear his thoughts. 

It didn’t help. No matter how pleasant the sun was above head or how gorgeous the ocean view was all around him, inevitably, Ryo found his thoughts drawn back to Vincent. He couldn’t help but remember their first beach date several years back. It had actually been Ryo’s first time swimming in the ocean, and he could still remember the sense of wonder he’d felt as he saw the waves crash against the shore, as the deep blues of the ocean rolled out endlessly into the horizon. None of the photos he’d seen could compare to the reality before him, and Ryo had eagerly stripped his jacket off to feel the cool water against his skin. 

Vincent, the jealous bastard he was, hadn’t been quite as happy at the time, and Ryo didn’t understand until later when his lover had pulled him into the cramped change rooms and began marking his body up like a blood-starved vampire. 

“Vince, what the h-hell-?” Ryo had whined as he was shoved against the wall, their bodies sealed together from how cramped it was inside the stall. It was sweltering hot even without Vincent sending jolts of pleasure through his veins each time he sucked a new mark into his skin, leaving red blossoms in his wake. 

“I can’t stop them from admiring you, because you’re the most beautiful man on this planet.” Vincent had growled between feverish kisses and bites. “But I must make sure that they know you’re mine, mine to touch and take and cherish. They can look, but they can’t have you like I can.” 

Any of Ryo’s assurances were swallowed up by the dizzying heat, both in the stall and also in his mind, and Ryo’s head was spinning with want by the time Vincent dragged him out again, this time with his entire chest and neck marked to the point where it looked like he’d been mauled by a wild animal. The wild animal in question had smiled brightly under Ryo’s withering glare, and had very ‘helpfully’ handed back his jacket so he could at least try and hide the mess made of his skin.

They hadn’t had sex in a while owing to clashing schedules and general fatigue, but even now, Ryo found himself reluctant to pull off his jacket. His body wasn’t anything to write home about, not like his colleague Varun, but he knew his lean muscles were at least pleasing to look at. But Ryo felt no need to show off, because the only person whose opinion he cared about was still hours away. 

Lost in his thoughts, Ryo was surprised when he saw two girls calling out to him, a curvy redhead with a skulled tattoo sleeve on her left arm and a petite brunette in a white summer dress. From the mischievous glint to the redhead’s eyes and the nervous fidgeting of the brunette’s hands, Ryo could guess what this was going to be about, but it was too late for him to just walk away and pretend he was busy. 

The girls introduced themselves, but Ryo was already holding up a hand before any further words could be exchanged. 

“Sorry, I’m already taken.” Ryo said, gesturing to the ring Vincent had gifted him at the start of their relationship, and the redhead clicked her tongue in disappointment.

“Shit, of course all the handsome guys are already taken. Well, thanks for saving us some time because I know a lot of jackasses who wouldn’t say dogshit. Whoever your gal is, she’s a lucky one.” 

It wasn’t abnormal to assume his partner was a girl, but it was just another punch to the gut as he was reminded of his own situation. How many times had Vincent faced this exact question? Did he feel the same awkwardness Ryo felt right now? Did he feel regret at choosing Ryo each time a pretty woman tried to proposition him? 

“No problem…” Ryo answered distractedly, weighed down by heavy thoughts. “But you’ve got one thing wrong. I’m the lucky one, not them.” 

The redhead, Andrea, teased him for his sappiness, but the mousy brunette seemed to catch the pronoun he’d chosen. Her eyes flashed in understanding, and Ryo found it hard to meet her curious gaze. 

“Are they with you right now?” Tayla asked.

“I’m waiting.” Ryo answered awkwardly, and somehow, he ended up sitting on the beach with Tayla watching the tide recede back. 

To her credit, the brunette was respectful of his relationship status and made no moves to try and ‘seduce’ him. She was evidently the type that was sensitive to the feelings of others, and after some idle small talk, she managed to coax Ryo into a conversation about Vincent. 

Ryo was a fiercely private person, but his emotional turmoil made him weak. He couldn’t deny that it was a bit of a relief to unload vague details about his situation to a stranger that he would never meet again. It wasn’t like he could discuss this with anyone else, for fear of exposing his relationship to the world and ruining Vincent’s career for good. 

“So yeah, I guess I’ll see if they come or not.” Ryo concluded with a harsh bark of laughter. “Pathetic, isn’t it? I’m not exactly ‘boyfriend material' so you definitely dodged a bullet there.”

But Tayla shook her head vigorously, her expression warm and glowing under the golden sun. “On the contrary, I think you’re a wonderful boyfriend. Of course, I don’t know all the details of your relationship, but to me, it sounds like you’re both extremely conscientious of each other. I don’t think it’s a bad thing, but maybe you’re both too worried about the other person, and it makes it hard to open up about your true feelings at times.”

Was it really that obvious, or was Tayla’s emotional IQ just exceptionally high? Either way, Ryo felt exposed and raw underneath the woman’s gentle gaze. His shoulders sagged as he hugged his knees into his chest tighter. 

“I can’t deny that… I know what the ‘right’ thing to do is, but I’m too much of a coward to go through with it. That’s why we’re playing this stupid game right now, because I don’t want to let go… It’s so stupid, I’m so stupid…”

“You’re not stupid Ryo, not at all.” Tayla protested, losing some of her earlier meekness. Upon realising how heated she’d become, the girl flushed and looked away. “S-Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so aggressive. But I disagree with you on this. There’s nothing ‘stupid’ about caring about your futures and wanting the best for your partner. I don’t want to give any unsolicited advice, but I do think that you need to talk to them honestly about your doubts and insecurities. If they care for you as much as you care for them, they won’t see it as a burden.”

But it was a burden. His effeminate concerns were only going to become shackles that would drag Vincent down, and that was the absolute last thing Ryo wanted to do. 

Tayla shook her head, sensing his thoughts. “Maybe think of it this way: if your lover had any worries or fears, how would you feel if they decided to share them with you?” 

That was a ridiculous question, of course Ryo would feel happy to be trusted. He wanted to be relied on, to care for Vincent as his lover cared for him, and more than anything he-... Oh. 

Was it really that simple? How had he missed something so blatantly obvious? 

“It’s easier to see things from the outside. When you’re in the thick of it, even just breathing can be hard, so I understand.” Tayla said kindly. “And if they think of you as a burden, then maybe your relationship wasn’t meant to be in the first place. I don’t think this will be the case though. Have courage Ryo, I think everything will work out okay, one way or another!” 

In another world, Ryo could imagine dating this sweet, compassionate girl, but his heart had already been set on one man since his teenage years. Whoever dated her would be very lucky, that was for sure. He was about to say as much as he uncurled his body, but something akin to fear flashed through the girl’s eyes as she stared at a spot just over Ryo’s shoulder. 

Ryo got to his feet and spun around at the same time he felt hands clutch at his waist, dragging him back against a solid wall of muscle. Any resistance he had been about to muster died when he glanced up and saw his lover glaring at Tayla with more venom than a cobra. 

“Pardon the intrusion, but I’ve had a trying day and I’m afraid my patience has run thin. What business do you have with my lover?”

Ryo’s face suffused with heat at the casual, yet firm declaration of their relationship status for all to witness. Even if it was a weekday, they certainly weren’t the only ones on the beach, and Ryo squirmed in mortification at the brazen way in which he was being held. They had agreed on no overt public displays of affection to protect Vincent’s reputation, but this was going against every rule they’d agreed on at the beginning of their fledgling relationship. 

“Vince, wait-.” The hands around his waist dug in tighter, causing Ryo to bite down on his words to stifle any embarrassing noises that threatened to spill out at the intimate touch, his body’s conditioned reaction to having Vincent so tantalisingly close. It wasn’t obvious, but Vincent was seething beneath the tense smile on his face, and he evidently wasn’t in the mood for games. 

The moment they had any semblance of privacy, Ryo knew he was so fucked.

His agitated lover smiled without any warmth, not even pretending to be civil as he regarded the girl with pure ice. “I’m sure you mean well, but I have a prior appointment with my Ryo so we’ll be taking our leave now. Goodbye, and good riddance.” And before he could even blink, Ryo was being swept away to a more private location away from curious, prying eyes. 

They walked hand in hand in total silence, because Ryo didn’t know what to say to break the tension in the air. His mind was teeming with dozens of questions, but anxiety stilled his tongue. His little ‘game’ had clearly worn down Vincent’s impressive patience, and a burning sense of shame filled his heart.

What had he been thinking? He’d wanted to be less of a burden on the overworked Vincent, but hadn’t his actions done the exact opposite? Instead of letting his lover relax on a well-deserved day off, Ryo had forced him into a tiresome game of hide and seek without a proper explanation or any real ‘benefit’. This was just yet another example of why Ryo wasn’t the right person for Vincent, and he wanted to cry from the soul-crushing guilt that assaulted him. 

Ryo was barely holding it together by the time Vincent led him to the hotel. So lost in panic, he completely overlooked the fact that he hadn’t yet told his lover where he was staying at any point. All he knew was that he needed to say something, anything, but all Ryo could manage was a tiny little squeak, like a mouse beside an eagle. Nothing came to mind. 

All too soon, they arrived at the room, and Ryo knew that the end was imminent. It made his hands shake uncontrollably as he unlocked the door to the point where he couldn’t fit the key inside the lock on the first few tries. When he finally managed the task, Ryo was ushered inside without a moment to spare, and the sound of the automatic lock clicking into place felt like a death sentence. 

“Ryo… Would you mind explaining what this is about?” Vincent’s golden eyes were hooded as he brought out three pieces of paper, two of which should have been in the bin. Ryo’s heart seized. Of course Vincent had noticed his earlier drafts he’d carelessly thrown in the kitchen bin. In his hurry to leave, he hadn’t even thought to tear them up properly, leaving the contents of his first two drafts very legible. 

“That’s…” But what could Ryo say? How was he supposed to explain away the wording on the second note? “I didn’t mean it like that-...” 

“‘One last game’.” Vincent interrupted, and the poor excuse died on Ryo’s lips. “You amended your last note so that this phrase wasn’t included. But it is evidently something you were thinking about. Could you please explain why you thought this might be the last game we play together?”

But Ryo couldn’t explain, even if he wanted to. He could hardly breathe , but he was determined to keep it together. He didn’t want Vincent’s last memory of their relationship to be of him crying in an unsightly manner, behaving like all the pushy girls Vincent had turned down in the past. If this was the end, then Ryo would at least try to maintain his dignity and accept the outcome without resistance. It was the least he could do for the person he loved more than anything else, even if the feeling wasn’t mutual.  

Vincent’s eyes darkened a shade when Ryo kept his mouth sewed shut. He sighed wearily, shaking his head in disappointment. “No words for me? Well, that’s okay too. I think I already have the answer I need.” 

That was good. It would save Ryo from having to say it himself, to be the one to break apart the fairytale he’d been living in for the past four years. As much as he wanted to say he regretted it, Ryo knew that if he was faced with the same choice, he would have made the same decision every single time. Vincent was too good a man to pass up, and he hoped that, even if only for a little bit, that he’d been able to bring Vincent even a fraction of the joy he’d brought Ryo.  

“When I saw your note on the table, my vision went black. I function perfectly under pressure, but in that moment, I froze. For the first time in my life, my brain stopped working. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t understand why you did this, and it only got worse when I found your drafted notes.” Vincent began, his voice quiet and brittle like glass. “I managed to pull myself together, but you wouldn’t answer my calls and my paranoia grew. It was only when you messaged back that I remembered how to breathe, and I almost collapsed in relief just knowing you were safe, that you hadn’t gone somewhere I couldn’t follow.”

Ryo dug his nails into the palm of his hand. His heart ached, where was Vincent going with this story? He was always a man who valued efficiency, so what was he doing? 

“I quickly deduced where you’d gone and got into the car immediately to find you. I thought about many things on the drive here.” Vincent said as he took a step forward, closing the distance between them slowly. It was a battle not to look away, but Ryo fought bravely against his despair and pain. “I thought about our relationship, and came to realise many things. This entire time, I’ve only caused you pain, haven’t I? I wanted to make you happy, I wanted nothing more than to make you smile and laugh, yet I’ve done nothing but let you down and hurt you.”

You’re wrong, Ryo cried out in his heart. Those are my words, not yours!

“We don’t get to spend much time together because of my work, yet you always put on a smile as you see me off at the front door, even if it’s the weekend, even if we had made plans to do something together. You always put on a gentle expression so that I don’t feel guilty, and all this time, I realised I was shamelessly indulging in your kindness, taking advantage of your compassion to act selfishly. I’m the older one, yet I let you spoil me without giving anything in return.”

That’s not true! Vincent was the one who spoiled him, Vincent was the kind one. Not Ryo, not with his ugly heart and painful emotions. Not Ryo, who selfishly ran away from home even knowing how much he’d made his lover worry in his absence. Their relationship had only persisted this long because of Vincent’s kindness. He was the one tolerating Ryo, not the other way around, and by letting Ryo into his heart, he had given him something irreplaceable that he would cherish for the rest of his life. Even if their relationship was just a blip in the magnificent story of Vincent’s life, this would forever remain the highlight of Ryo’s. 

But Vincent continued on, oblivious to Ryo’s inner turmoil. They were only inches apart when Vincent wrapped his arms around Ryo’s waist, blocking any possibility of escape. “I then realised that our relationship couldn’t continue like this. A relationship like this isn’t healthy, and we both deserve something better.” 

Ah, this really is the end, isn’t it? Ryo thought miserably. To hide his pitiful expression, Ryo pushed his face into Vincent’s chest. Tears were spilling out of his eyes like a fountain, but it was beyond his control at this point. He could only hope Vincent had enough tact not to mention the tear stains soaking into his white dress shirt, because there would be no stopping the waterworks if Vincent said a word. 

But all in all, this wasn’t the worst way to have his heart broken, encased in his lover’s arms and breathing in his favourite scent. And Ryo had made plenty of wonderful memories in their shared time together, hadn’t he? It would never be enough, Ryo was far too greedy to be truly satisfied, but what he had would have to do. He could never reach the same peaks of joy that he’d experienced in Vincent’s arms, and that was okay. Ryo would be fine, he had to be fine. 

He felt like a death row inmate awaiting the end. All that was left was for the executioner to drop the guillotine, and it would all be over. He hoped that, in time, he would feel relief at finally doing the right thing, but in the moment, all he could focus on was his gut wrenching despair. 

Unfortunately, he wasn’t allowed to go down with any semblance of dignity. Vincent tilted his head up with one hand, forcing their eyes to meet. Vincent was probably smiling down at him, but with the way his vision was blurred, Ryo couldn’t be sure. 

“You love to call me arrogant at times with that cute little smile on your face, and for once, I am inclined to agree with you, mon amour. Even if it is not the ‘correct’ thing to do, I have no intention of letting you go. Not now, not ever. Because I believe, no, I know I am the only person who can make you as happy as you make me, and that is why there is no one worthy of standing by your side except for me.

“I sincerely apologise for my far-sightedness all these years, for my inability to see your pain and sacrifices. I want to be better, to become someone deserving of your love. And so I will make a start now, and do what I should have done years ago when I knew that we were made for each other.” 

Vincent brushed the corner of Ryo’s eye with a thumb, smiling ruefully. “I promise I won’t make you cry anymore.” He murmured sweetly, kissing his tear streaked face like there was nothing else he’d rather do. “So please, will you marry me Ryo?” 

Having braced himself for the most devastating event of his life, Ryo didn’t immediately process the words that had just been spoken. He opened his mouth to try and laugh off the pain, to make it seem like his heart hadn’t just been ripped from his chest and thrown into the meat grinder, when his brain caught up and Ryo’s heart was going through an entirely different kind of ordeal.

What? Marry? Did Vincent just say ‘marry me’? 

“Huh?” Ryo said dumbly, feeling as though the floor had disappeared from beneath his feet. But as always, Vincent was there to ground him, to anchor him back to reality when the dark thoughts made living seem like an insurmountable burden he was sick of bearing. Amused by his blatant confusion, Vincent squeezed him tighter, a physical reminder that this wasn’t just a wonderful dream. “M-Marry? You want to marry me??” 

“But of course. Who wouldn’t want to marry someone as lovely and adorable as you?” Vincent teased, before his gaze became decidedly less sweet. “Not that I’d let anyone else claim you. Because you’re mine, just like I’m yours. I love you so much Ryo, more than anyone else could ever dare to.

“So, what is your answer, Ryo? I may look composed as usual, but I feel like I might be on the verge of a heart attack.” Vincent said a little painfully, and Ryo realised that he was meant to answer. But as much as he wanted to shout ‘yes’ from the rooftops for the world to hear, Ryo knew now was the time to clear the air once and for all, as Kayla suggested, or he would never be able to fully accept their relationship. 

Ryo had never been one for words. Actions had been more his thing, but for the most important moment of his life, Ryo would try his very best to convey the depths of his feelings. 

“For the longest time, I thought that it was only one-sided love on my end. I thought… I always wondered if you only stayed with me because it was convenient, and that one day, you’d eventually find someone better and leave me… Those feelings piled up over time, and this morning, I reached breaking point and decided to make a wager with you.”

Vincent nodded his head solemnly, patient as he listened to Ryo’s story. “You were going to break up with me if I didn’t find you.” He said this calmly, but the grip on his waist was far from nonchalant. Even through his clothes, Ryo could feel nails digging into his skin harshly, leaving crescent marks against his pale skin. No doubt, Vincent detested the thought with every fibre of his being, but his possessive lover was trying to put a stopper on his feelings so that Ryo could continue. 

Ryo couldn’t deny Vincent’s astute observation. He inclined his head. “Yeah, that was the plan. But I didn’t think it through very carefully. I’m sorry for making you worry about me.” 

He inhaled deeply. “To be honest, my head is still a mess and I can barely process the past twelve hours. We probably should talk about this later when my mind isn’t so messed up. But my heart is set, and has been since I first fell in love with you seven years ago.

“I love you too, Vincent. I love you so much that I can’t think straight when we’re apart. You’ve become something irreplaceable to me, so much so that I can’t imagine a world without you by my side. So if you’ll have me, I want to marry you too. Please let me love and care for you for the rest of our lives.” 

Vincent’s smile could have powered New York City from how bright it was, and Ryo knew he must have had a matching look on his own face. His lover and fiancé, peppered kisses against his cheeks in a flurry. He seemed to deliberately be avoiding Ryo’s mouth, causing him to pout.

“Why won’t you let me kiss you too?” Ryo whined sulkily, to which Vincent laughed.

“Because if I do, we won’t be making it on time for our dinner reservation.” Vincent said regretfully, and Ryo’s body flamed at the implications. The light in his lover’s eyes suddenly vanished, something hungry and dark replacing it swiftly. “But after dinner, I’ll have you to my heart’s content, Ryo. You accepted my proposal willingly, so there won’t be any more ‘hide and seek’ or running away from me. I’m not kind enough to let you leave me twice.”

Hit with a bolt of arousal at the sordid promise for later, Ryo could only swallow thickly and nod his head. He had no need to run anymore, not when he was exactly where he belonged. So Ryo got up on his tiptoes to press a kiss against Vincent’s jawline, grinning as he did so.

“I look forward to it then, mon époux.” Ryo teased slyly, proud that he’d remembered the endearment from years of French study since he had first met Vincent. He’d only meant it as a little joke, but the effect had been far greater than he could have ever imagined. One moment, he was upright and in Vincent’s arms, and when he blinked, he was suddenly pressed into the sheets with Vincent’s enormous body layering his own. 

“Hey, what are you-mmph?!” Ryo’s words were cut off by a particularly passionate bite against his Adam's apple. He whined, lust shooting through his body like a bullet. 

“Ah… I tried so hard to restrain myself, but you were the one who incited me, Ryo.” Vincent growled against the skin, his hands greedy as they divested Ryo of his clothes in record time. The beast licked against the reddened mark tenderly, smiling with an innocence that didn’t suit the context at all.

“I’ll take responsibility tomorrow, but for now, I’ll have you face the consequences of your words, mon coeur. Please be prepared to accept all of me.” 

Ah, it looks like we’re skipping dinner tonight… Ryo slumped into the sheets and took everything Vincent gave him, up until the early hours of the morning when he passed out from exhaustion. 

Ryo knew he wouldn’t be walking properly for the next few days, but that was fine. He had all week to recover, but for now, Ryo would indulge and spoil his fiancé as much as he could, let Vincent consume him in his entirety. 

I love you, Vincent. Let’s go and buy a ring together when we get back home… That had been Ryo’s last coherent thought before exhaustion took him, and Ryo slept fitfully in his fiancé's arms, matching smiles on their faces as they dreamt about the life they would be living together forever. 

おまけ： 

“So how did you even find me so quickly in the first place? You got here in like an hour and a half.” Ryo asked between spoonfuls of the fried rice Vincent had ordered from room service. Naturally, his lover insisted that he feed Ryo under the guise of ‘letting him rest’, but really, it was just an excuse to pamper Ryo after rough, mind blowing sex. Ryo had never been one who enjoyed being spoiled, but it was a completely different story if it was Vincent tending to him. 

“I have my ways.” Vincent responded mischievously, before chuckling under Ryo’s withering glare. “But if you must know, I first ran your search history through the admin panel, so I had an idea of the places you were thinking of travelling. I had narrowed it down to three cities based on your preferences and the time you spent on each site, and then your hint about lobster reminded me of the seafood restaurant I once suggested we try when we had a few days off together. From there, it was a simple matter of confirming whether there had been a reservation made for two under the name ‘Ryo’, and that was all the information I needed.”

Ryo’s jaw dropped in shock. Scary. His lover was downright terrifying when he set his mind to it. Ryo could easily see why his rivals were terrified whenever they had to face Vincent down in a conference room. 

“I will admit that I wasn’t sure which hotel you had chosen, since you had browsed through quite a few options, but I made a guess based on price range and location. In any case, I suspected you wouldn’t be in the hotel room, so I had better luck wandering around the streets and trying to call you again. It must have been fate that I was right on my first try.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Ryo rolled his eyes playfully at the sappy words, but his attitude disappeared when he sensed the shift in Vincent’s mood. “Huh? What’s with that look?”

“If we’re both asking questions, then I have a couple about that woman that was with you on the beach.” Vincent said innocently, but his eyes were fierce and full of fire. 

Ah shit, Ryo thought as Vincent cleared the food, placing it on the bedside table before joining him in bed. This isn’t good. 

Ryo tried to minimise the damage, but he had a feeling it was already too late to reduce his ‘sentence’. “There’s not much to say about her. She’s just some random person I met on my walk. She gave me relationship advice about you so- aah!” 

“Oh that’s very interesting, please don’t stop there.” Vincent purred. His large hands had latched onto his nipples and were kneading with increasing pressure. “I want to hear all the details, so let’s take our time, yes?” 

And all Ryo could do was whine as he was thrust into round two. His ass was crying for reprieve, but there was little he could do against Vincent’s jealousy and bottomless desire for monopoly. At this rate, he was going to need to take an extra week off work, and Ryo sobbed into the sheets as he was taken apart again and again. 

In the end, Ryo did end up taking an extra few days off to recover from all the ‘strenuous activities’ Vincent had forced upon him, but even though he’d been red-faced and utterly mortified as he made the call to his boss, it was hard to remain angry when Vincent was snuggled up behind him, holding his left hand and showing off their matching promise rings.