Chapter Text
I’ve never felt this way
August 18, 2017
Dipper took in the scenery all around him; the sunny clear blue skies, cool wind undermining the heat from the sun, the movements and sounds of rustling trees, the smell of the freshly cut grass penetrating his nose and the many school buildings surrounding him. As he soaked what was all around him, it felt like a dream. He was at Stanford University and he couldn’t be more happy. Well actually he could be happier for once Mabel isn’t joining him. A prestige’s university was just not for her, what was for her was California College of the Arts, there are more students and lots of courses more Mabel’s speed, it seemed like the perfect fit for her. As far as Dipper knew the only other person going to Stanford was Candy, she always wanted to go to Stanford so it was a happy coincidence that they met. Dipper was glad that he’d see a familiar face. Though he was excited to go, he was more excited to leave Piedmont and all the awful memories from one particular person there, a person who he didn’t want to think about right now. Dipper picked up his last box from his old dodge pick up and lugged it up to his dorm, the room was pretty cramped from his and his roommates boxes, he still hasn’t met the dude he’d be bunking with but it was only a matter of time before he showed up. Dipper laid on his bed looking through his phone until a call from Mabel interrupted his mindless scrolling.
“Hey Mabel, What’s up” Dipper's voice sounded exhausted.
“Nothing much bro bro, I just finished turning my plain boring old wall into a beautiful and memory filled old wall, wanna see!” Mabel said with excitement.
Mabel switched her camera to front facing, showing Dipper all the printed photos of their time together in Gravity falls and her photos in general of everyone she cares about, all of them pinned to the wall. There was the fishing boat picture with their beloved Grunkle, one of them making silly faces at the camera and a picture of Mabel, Dipper, Stan, Soos and Wendy all posing for the camera. Surrounding all the photos was tapestry and lights hanging to add more flair to her side of the room.
“Wow you really went all out.” Dipper commented.
“Well of course I did Dipstick, I gotta keep staring at these pictures or else I'll go insane.” Mabel sighs “especially without my waddles.” Mabel's face saddens, she really missed her precious pig.
“Don’t worry about waddles, Mabel. Mom and dad will take care of him just like they promised.” Dipper reassures her.
“I just wish I could see him.” Mabel says.
“I know Mabel, but during break we’ll get to see him.” Dipper replies
“I wish I could see you bro bro.” Mabel says sadly
“I know Mabel but we’re only 35 minutes away. It's not that bad, we can see each other any time we want.” Dipper reassures Mabel.
Mabel, wanting to avoid any more sad thoughts, changes the subject. “Have you met your roommate yet?” Mabel asks.
“Not yet, he should be here any minu—“
Dipper is interrupted by Mabel “OHH MY GOD DID YOU HEAR!!” she screams.
“Well I can’t now.” Dipper jokes “What happened?” He questions.
“Candy said Pacifica is going to Stanford too!” Dipper’s ears stop ringing for a second before he registered the name he just heard.
Pacifica. The name used to bring up memories of hatred and annoyance in Dipper, the way she treated him and Mabel angered him to no end. But not anymore, Dipper had to admit he admired her for being able to evolve. After that night at the Northwest manor years ago, his opinion on her changed, he saw that her attitude was a result of her parents' impossible demands for her and the torment of that god forsaken bell. And after the event that shall not be mentioned, he saw her pull her own weight and contribute to defeat Bill. After that summer Pacifica kept in contact with the twins calling and chatting with them any chance she got even though she had to move to California since her family had lost their manor. Not that she really even cared but as a result her visits to Gravity falls were small and infrequent while a new manor was being built.
Anytime she needed it she knew he was there for him. Though her visits were not often, the few weeks she spent there she spent them with Dipper. They had hung out loads of times during their trips to Gravity Falls, the sleepy little log town that birthed Dipper’s intrigue into the world of weirdness and strangeness. He dearly missed the town and Pacifica since the last two summers she didn’t get a chance to go. College and work complicated both their lives so much.
—
2 Years earlier
Dipper is a freshly turned 16 year old pizza faced dorky teenager, it had only been a week since the twins returned from there yearly trip to Gravity Falls. This last trip had been a good one, hugs and tearful goodbyes were shared, as if they were never going to see each other again.
He was happy to see all of them but something that surprised him was how nervous he was to see Pacifica, and how happy he was to spend time with her, and how sad he was when that bus took the last turn out of Gravity Falls. She isn’t like she was before, sure there was still the occasional lip but it was more endearing now. He cherished every moment with her since she couldn’t get to Gravity Falls as often anymore.
He found himself missing her, her beautiful smile, her witty sense of humor, the interesting conversation they’d have, finding out she’s quite the nerd herself, however reluctant she was to admit it. Dipper felt weird about Pacifica, he couldn’t tell why he missed her and why he wanted to see her.
All he knew as he sat on his unmade bed next to his barely unpacked clothes. (Laziness got the better of him) All he knew is that he wanted to talk to her again, she gave him her number right before they left. But it was late and why would she want to talk with him.
“Don’t think this means anything, Pines. It’s just so you don’t have to go a whole year to hear my voice.” Dipper remembered Pacifica, trying to hide her blush from him.
Before Dipper could even pick up the phone to dial her number, his phone rang. And it’s her. His heart began to beat intensely, who woulda known a screen with a name on it could make his heart want to jump out of his chest?
He hesitated to answer but finally swallowed his nervousness and answered the phone.
“Hello?” He heard silence, he was beginning to think that maybe it was a miss dial.
“Hey.” She was quiet,
“How’ve you been?” he asked.
“Okay, I guess.” She breaks her silence.
“Do you need something?” He asked, not wanting to sound bothered.
“I just thought I'd give you the pleasure of hearing my voice.” she said in her hawty joking tone.
“Ooh thank you for gracing my ears with your silky voice.” Dipper jokes. They both laugh and just like that they are back to their regular banter.
“I’m serious though, is there any particular reason you called me?” Dipper asked once again.
“No it’s just ... .I-I. I got into a fight with my parents. And I just wanted to talk.” There was something more in her voice.
“I’m sorry I don’t really know how to help with that.” Dipper truly wished he could do more for her but he wasn’t the most experienced person when it came to comfort.
“Oh that’s okay.” She sounded disappointed.
Dipper felt like garbage, he wanted to help her but he didn’t know what to say. So he started making jokes. “Hey sorry I’m a lousy therapist but at least I don’t charge much.”
“Shut up” she giggles.
“As your de facto therapist I’ll do my best to listen to your problems. You can trust me with your deepest darkest secrets. I promise.” His mischievous grin could be heard through the phone.
“I said shut up.” Pacifica says through laughs.
“C’mon you can trust me with your secrets, I promise not to make fun of you too much. Besides, I’m bound by client confidentiality.”
“You’re fired.” she said. As she’s laughing, even if Dipper can’t help with her parents he can help her with just talking.
She’s glad she called him.
—
“Hellooooo! Dipper, you hear me?” Mabel drags Dipper back to reality and is met with her face.
“Oh sorry I was… thinking.” Dipper stops himself.
“Did you hear me, dip?” Mabel questions
“Uh yeah that’s cool, when is she getting here?” Dipper asks Mabel.
“I don’t know but probably soon.” Mabel's smile turns mischievous as she begins to form a thought in her head, Dipper does not like that look at all. “Y’know Dipper, I'm sure Pacifica is going to need a friend once she gets there.” Mabel grins as she speaks.
“Uh sure I guess so.” Dipper answers as if he were tiptoeing through a field of landmines.
“Yeah, someone to hang with, study with, and spend all her time with.”
“What are you getting at?” Dipper asks, already knowing the answer.
“Nothing bro bro, just saying this might be your chance at a little romance, y’know what i’m saying.” Mabel pumps her eyebrows.
“Mabel, Pacifica’s not the type for that kinda thing and neither am I, not anymore.” Dipper responds by moving away from the camera to not reveal his slight blush.
“Aw poor Dipper, are you afraid to get hurt again, bro?” Mabel asks Dipper in a sympathetic tone
“Listen Dip, a girl can tell. Pacifica likes you, I haven’t forgotten about those late night talks you had with her.”
“Mabel, those times she was just stressed about her parents, she just needed someone to talk to.”
“I was there for her too Dip, but she chose yoooou.” Mabel says coyly
It was true, Dipper thought it strange that she would call him of all people, but he didn’t ask her why, he just knew she needed help and he was there for her (No matter how bad he was at it). Dipper is silent for a moment contemplating his past romance and not wanting to get into anything that could be as toxic as that was.
Mabel notices his silence, hitting the nail right on the head she tells Dipper “Dip I know you’re trying but you gotta forget about Sara, she’s a toxic waste spewing buttwad and she was totally not right for you, you shouldn’t blame yourself for what happened to you.” Mabel says directly.
Dipper winced at the mention of Sara, she was someone he couldn’t stop thinking about no matter how much he tried, she’s the type to burrow into your head and make you feel like you needed them to survive. Sara was his first girlfriend, maybe that’s why he couldn’t quite get over her yet, or maybe she made it so he felt like he couldn’t.
“It’s not that easy Mabel.”
“She’s literally the worst Dipper, it's a good thing you’re done with her. At least now you know better than to date someone like her.” Mabel loves her brother dearly and seeing him be toyed with made her angry.
“I gotta go Mabel, my roommate will be here any minute.” Dipper told Mabel,
“Okay, Talk to you later bro bro.” Mabel and Dipper said their goodbyes and hung up the phone. Dipper stares at the ceiling and thinks about what is next for him.