Archive of Our Own

Lost. The state of being unable to find your way.

Taehyung wonders just how many lost souls there are aimlessly wandering this earth. Did they lose their purpose in life? Did they even find it to begin with? As of present time, there are approximately eight billion people on this planet, Taehyung wonders just how many of them are currently lost. Like he was.

Life has handed him one bad hand after another, and Taehyung had just reached a point wherein he had to ask himself just how much more ill-fated cards does he have to receive before he decides to give up? 2023 has been the worst year of his life. Hes been laid off his dream job after tirelessly working nonstop for it. Out of all of the numerous apartments in his building, his was the only one that had a wire shortcircuit causing it to burn down while he was away. All of his belongings were practically impossible to salvage. Spending most of the money he’s saved up on that apartment, he had no choice but to temporarily move in with his best friend. And the cherry on top of a brilliant year, Taehyung found out that his longtime partner of 4 years spent majority of it cheating on him with various partners. Great. Everything was just great. As if life could get any shittier than it already was.

He was redoing his resume for the sixth time in a row, running on three hours of sleep and a whole lot of anxiety.

“Who ever said third time’s the charm? What a load of bullshit.” He groaned out to the innocent computer screen, furiously pressing on backspace until all the words in his document were gone. He had another blank canvas staring back at him. Ridiculing him. He sneered, nearly pulling out his hair.

“What’s got you worked up so early in the morning?” Appearing from his bedroom, Jimin had his arms outstretched as he let out a loud yawn. Contrary to Taehyung who barely slept a wink last night, Jimin seemed to have no issues in that particular department.

“Work. Life. Everything.” With one hand typing out sentences that would be deleted within five minutes, he huffed out. Resumes used to be something he actually enjoyed doing, but knowing that these resumes would be handed out to companies he didn’t even want to work for didn’t exactly excite him in the same manner it used to.

Making a beeline for the coffee machine, Jimin pressed on a couple of buttons and waited for the distinct aroma of coffee to fill the air. “You sound burnt out, Tae. I told you to take it easy.” He watched as the machine squeezed out its last few drips before taking his mug and getting a good whiff out if it before steadily blowing on it. Even the scent of coffee was enough to jolt him awake.

After a couple of incandescent clicks on his wireless mouse that was a few minutes away from running out of battery and dying on him, Taehyung gave up. Letting out another frustrated groan. “That’s because I am burnt out. I still haven’t heard from the last four companies I’ve applied for and frankly, I don’t know if they’re even considering my application.” As grateful as he was to Jimin for letting him crash in his place for free, he felt awful imposing on his best friend. Especially since Taehyung knew the importance of having your own personal space, so even if Jimin insisted that it was fine, he wanted to get out of his hair as soon as possible. He couldn’t possibly take advantage of Jimin’s kindness.

“Why are you desperately searching for a job now? Does it have to be right this instant? I told you the importance of pacing yourself and giving yourself enough time to recover.” Even the way Jimin scolded him felt like a gentle reminder, he couldn’t be thankful enough for meeting such a kind soul. It sort of made up for the fact that Taehyung had terrible luck when it came to everything else. The rest of the world was inevitably shitty, but at least his best friend was not.

“You know me, I just go go go.” Taehyung replied, finally conceding when it came to revising his resume. He just wasn’t in the right mind to make any improvements and couldn’t focus. But what he said was true, Taehyung did not know when or how to take a break. The more obstacles life threw his way, the eager he was to knock them all down. Except that the load he was carrying at the moment was the heaviest he’s experienced thus far, he wasn’t too confident about knocking down anything.

“Maybe that’s the problem, Tae. You go go go but you never know when to stop. It’s alright to take a break sometimes.” Sipping on his coffee, Jimin felt the instant relief he needed. If he was going to have another conversation with him half nagging, half convincing Taehyung to relax then he needed as much caffeine as he could get. His best friend was facing hurdle after hurdle that Jimin had to applaud him for being as resilient as he was to still force himself to keep on going when most people would have given up by now, but seeing how lost he seemed as a result of pushing himself too hard, broke Jimin’s heart.

One of the perks that came with temporarily living with Jimin was the spectacular view he had overlooking the city. Taehyung had created a makeshift area over by the corner of the living room near a glass paneled window. If Taehyung was going to be miserable as he revised his resumes, might as well be miserable with a good view to make things a little bit more bearable. Slumping against the backrest of his seat as he raked his fingers across his hair, which he recently dyed back to black in hopes that maybe little superficial changes like dying his hair could possibly do something about his general luck when it came to everything else. Being blonde was fun while it lasted, but just like most things, good things don’t last forever. Glancing at his reflection on the huge window in front of him, Taehyung noticed how he was involuntarily growing a beard, which he detested but had been feeling too lazy to shave it off. Jimin was talking his ear off about the importance of mental health and stability, all of which Taehyung had practically memorized by heart by now, and he appreciated it, he really did, but this did little to his current well-being since for the most part he was just exhausted and uninspired to do anything about it. He was aware that he was lost, in every sense of the word, clueless as to what he wanted to do with his life or where he should even begin. He remembers briefly having a conversation with his mother about how lost he was, and in return, she sent him a quote saying, “not all who wander are lost”, he scoffed remembering the incident. Drowning out most of Jimin’s speech as he blankly stared at a red vehicle who was struggling to squeeze itself in between two cars, the owner probably forgot how to conduct a parallel parking, Taehyung thought to himself.

“And this is why I think you should follow my advice this time. Trust me, it’ll be the breakthrough you didn’t know you needed.” Jimin stated matter-of-factly, catching Taehyung red handed that he didn’t register a word prior to his last statement. “You weren’t listening to a word out of mouth, were you?”

Taehyung shot him a sheepish smile in return, guilty as charged. Jimin lowered his mug on the nearest surface as he traced the outline of his eyebrows as a way to calm himself down. He had to incessantly remind himself that Taehyung didn’t need another scolding since he was already going through so much. “I said, why don’t you travel to a place you’ve never been to before? Have you considered taking a break and completely ditching this country for a while?”

“Jimin, I’m already mentally lost as we speak, what good would literally getting lost do for me?”

In a calm voice, Jimin explained. “Because sometimes the reason why we lose ourselves is to find ourselves again. It’ll make sense eventually. You need change, Taetae, and frankly, we’ve exhausted all the options already. Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.”

What he was saying was partially true. Taehyung tried getting wasted for consecutive nights in hopes of forgetting, but even if he momentarily forgot about his problems, he would wake up remembering them with the addition of a nasty hangover to make him regret picking up the bottle. Taehyung even tried therapy thanks to Jimin’s insistence, but instead of opening up to somebody who was supposed to listen since it was what his job entailed him to do, he froze up and couldn’t get a word out. Needless to say he stormed out of the building before his therapist could convince him to stay.

“Admit it, Tae, doesn’t a vacation sound appealing?”

And whether or not Taehyung would admit it to himself, perhaps a vacation was what he needed. He hasn’t gone on one since forever, and now that he was mentally, physically and emotionally drained, a vacation didn’t sound like the worst idea in history. After pondering over the idea for a bit, he began to reconsider Jimin’s suggestion. Maybe time away from his familiar surroundings was what he needed in order to figure out his next course of action.

“An unknown city where people don’t know you, won’t judge you, where you’re free to be alone with your thoughts and live freely. Even if for a moment.” Jimin trailed out, further planting the seed in Taehyung’s brain. Hoping that even though Taehyung ignored 99.9% of his suggestions, he would give in to this one.

“Where would I even go?” Based on Taehyung’s reluctant tone alone, Jimin knew that he was nearly convinced otherwise, he wouldn’t bother asking for even more suggestions.

Luckily, Jimin was already one step ahead of him. He already had a viable list of options in his head. “Japan. It’s two hours away, the distance won’t be to daunting and you can fly back home anytime. Also, you’ve never been there. It’s a win-win.” At first, Jimin was tempted to name a far-off destination like a remote island along Europe but decided against it since suggesting a place which held a great distance would probably drown out the appeal of traveling. Japan was the first place in Jimin’s head so Japan was what he decided to go with.

“What am I even going to do in Japan? I don’t know the language. How will I get around?”

“I don’t know, Tae. Find yourself again, maybe? Stop worrying about the little things. If there’s anyone who could maneuver their way through anything life throws at them, it’s you. You’ll get by just fine.” For a brief second, Jimin was convinced that his persuasion skills have gone rusty, but the sound of a mouse clicking distracted his thoughts.

Taehyung let out a loud sigh in defeat. “Then I should probably take the next flight out.”

A wide grin emerged on Jimin’s face and it took everything in him to not break 9ut into a tiny happy dance of victory. That very afternoon, Taehyung packed his necessities along with an ample amount of clothing suitable for the current season, and most importantly, his hopes when it came to searching for the one thing Taehyung wasn’t aware he lost, into a large suitcase. Jimin drove him to the airport and gave him his final words of encouragement and Taehyung found himself on a flight headed to a country he’s never been to.

He stepped out of the busy airport, nerves and anxiety mixed with a hint of excitement overcame him. Taehyung wasn’t too sure where he was headed nor did he have a plan in mind, but it’s been a while since he’s ever allowed himself to do something so drastic. Taking out one of the brochures that typically catered to foreign tourists, he began reading popular tourist destinations. After a quick search on the internet, he randomly picked out a district within the vast city. It wasn’t in one of the top five recommendations, but Taehyung figured that if he wanted to do a little soul searching, he might as well do it somewhere which isn’t overpopulated with tourists. After a few subway rides, and getting lost just like he feared, Taehyung began walking around the area until an old fashioned inn caught his attention. He was drawn to the place and without knowing it, was checking himself in with no tentative check out date in mind. It was reasonably priced and had an “old Japan feel”, it was love at first sight for Taehyung being somebody that was deeply attracted to culture and history. An old woman assisted him, fortunately Taehyung was able to get by with a few broken Japanese phrases and a whole lot of hand gestures. By some odd miracle, he managed to book himself a modest traditional room and unloading some of his belongings. He spent majority of the evening exploring the vicinity and getting accustomed to his surroundings.

Taehyung had the most peaceful sleep he’s had in a while that night, for once, he didn’t jolt up awake in the middle of the night and slept soundly throughout the night.

Peace still kept him company as he woke up to a rumbling stomach, though he didn’t really feel like he had an appetite, his stomach begged to differ. Suddenly remembering that the last meal he had consumed was on the plane, the new sights distracted him enough to forget about his hunger. Since the inn he was staying at was more of the traditional type, it wasn’t a surprise when Taehyung rummaged around the room in search of an in-room dining option or at least a menu and came out empty-handed. Too lazy to change out of his pajamas, he dropped by the front desk to inquire if there were any restaurants nearby, and somehow he was able to communicate once again with the old lady that checked him in yesterday via hand gestures. Like he was directed, Taehyung made his way to a small establishment which was connected to the inn by means of a narrow corridor that one would at first glance assume led to nowhere. Moving aside navy blue drapery which acted as its entrance, Taehyung was surprised to find himself entering a bijou eatery that didn’t let its compact size decrease any of its unique charms. It had a wooden theme, making use of furniture mainly made out of bamboo and different kinds of wood which Taehyung couldn’t really identify. There was a small handwritten menu plastered on the wall, it was written in Japanese characters and Taehyung ended up making use of his phone’s Google lens to make out what was written.

The space was empty save for a few stray cats lounging around the area. He was about to leave and search for another restaurant when a curtain made from decorative beads strung together created a noise that called for his attention. He looked up and spotted a young man emerging from what he could only assume was the kitchen area, the man smiled at him but began speaking in Japanese and Taehyung could only comprehend selected words. Once he realized that Taehyung couldn’t understand him, he began to use simpler words in which Taehyung had managed to order himself breakfast by pointing to the menu and smiling apologetically for not familiarizing himself with the local dialect. He sat on one of the cushions on the floor, watching the man become preoccupied with his order. He brew some fresh tea and even added what looked to be freshly picked flowers into the brew. Taehyung watched him in awe, it seemed to be such a simple life yet he wondered if the man fixing his breakfast was content with his life. He began getting deep into his thoughts on whether people had as much problems as he had, and how they dealt with these problems, even going as far as to wonder if the man tending to him faced the same difficulties in life. Every time their eyes would meet, he would shoot Taehyung a small smile, which Taehyung couldn’t reciprocate since he was too flustered to do so. Instead, he kept on glancing around the area, avoiding the man’s gaze. Unexpectedly, one of the stray cats in the area hopped on his kegs and began curling up on his lap, this brought a smile to Taehyung’s face as he hesitantly started stroking it.

“Kibou.” The man appeared, politely setting up Taehyung’s orders on his table.

“Excuse me?” He asked.

The man looked slightly embarrassed and pointed at the cat that found a comfortable spot on top of Taehyung’s legs. “Kibou. Name.”

Immediately understanding what he meant, he bowed his head thanking the man for letting him know what the cat’s name was. After eating his breakfast in silence, he thanked the man before exploring the city. He had breakfast in the same place for the next three days, amazed at how well they were able to communicate despite the language barrier.

On the fourth day, Taehyung entered the establishment with his phone in between his ear and neck.

Jimin had called to check up on him and unfortunately, delivered bad news as well. One of the jobs Taehyung had applied for and was looking forward to ended up declining his application. His heart sunk once more as he mouthed his order to the young man and continued letting Jimin know about how disappointed he was. To appease his friend’s worries, he made sure to set Jimin’s worries at ease before ending the call by telling him about how the scenic views in Japan made him forget about his problems back at home. It was a half-truth to be fair, though the picturesque views proved to be a great distraction, Taehyung didn’t really feel as if the change of venue had gotten him one step closer to finding himself, or whatever it is that he needed to find. True enough his words were an adequate reassurance that eventually Jimin felt like it was safe to end the call, but not before handing out several reminders to Taehyung that in a gist, were mainly safety reminders. He smiled as he ended the call, shaking his head at how persistent Jimin could be if he wanted to. Taehyung doubts that he would ever travel to a foreign country just because, but somehow Jimin had convinced him that it was a good idea.

“Sorry I didn’t meant to interrupt, but would you like to try our new specialty?”

Taehyung looked at the man perplexed, he was speaking in Taehyung's native language fluently.

“You understand Korean?”

The man chuckled, looking flustered that it had taken him a number of days to figure out that Taehyung was from the same country. “I am Korean. Sorry, I didn’t realize that you were too.”

Taehyung had an internal monologue with himself, thankful that he didn’t casually mention to Jimin over the phone about how cute he thought the local man who ran the restaurant was. He shuddered, imagining that if he did and this man who spoke and understood the same language overheard him.

“I presume that you’re on vacation. We don’t get a lot of foreigners in this area, they usually opt to stay within the city center.” He mentioned, bringing Taehyung out of his thoughts.

“Do you live here?” Taehyung asked, soon after realizing that it was a dumb question to begin with. Of course he lived here, he doubts that this guy was on vacation and just decided to work at a local, nearly abandoned restaurant for fun.

“Yes. Moved to Japan a couple of years ago. The lady who runs the inn next door is my grandmother’s sister. I’m sorry for being rude, but I don’t think I caught your name? My name is Seokjin by the way, pleasure to meet you.” An outstretched hand was offered from behind the counter, and Taehyung was flustered but abruptly shook his hand in the most awkward manner he could manage.

“Taehyung. Wow, I still can’t believe that you’re Korean. What are the chances of running into someone from home all the way out here.” Knowing that he had just met someone he could freely converse with brought him some sort of relief. Sure, he was still lost in a brand new city, but at least he had someone he could run to in case he had any questions regarding the area and whatnot. “How’s living in Japan? Must have been quite a big change, especially since you had to learn a new language and all.”

“You’d be surprised with the amount of similarities between our languages, but yeah, learning was hard at the beginning but once you get the hang of it, it’s manageable. Japan is nice, peaceful. The people are friendly too. All in all, can’t really complain much about it.” Shrugging as he aligned one of the glasses he just finished drying up with a clean towel. Seokjin seemed to be like the meticulous type considering how everything from his spices to his glassware were all neatly arranged and within reach. “So, why Japan?”

Taehyung glanced around the unpretentious area. There were several parts on the walls that were peeling off and probably needed either new wallpaper or a new paint job. The windowpane was beginning to collect dust as well. It seemed like the restaurant grew old just like the rest of the establishment, but it still had it charms nonetheless. There were several drawings that hung from the walls, pretty colors blended into a beautiful painting, along with several writings written in Japanese so Taehyung couldn’t tell what was written on them.

“Because home was starting to feel like too much.” Taehyung replied, it was short and vague, but somehow Seokjin sensed that it was better to not ask any further. There was one particular scripture on the wall that caught Taehyung’s attention. It was written on something resembling a scroll in deep, bold black ink and curiosity got the better of Taehyung as he suddenly pointed to it. “What does that mean?”

Seokjin’s eyes lit up as it landed on the object Taehyung was pointing out to. “Ichi go ichi e. Roughly it translates to one time, one meeting. It’s a once in a lifetime encounter. Bound to occur once and never again. My grandmother wrote that herself before she passed.” As if recalling a fond memory, a bittersweet smile was evoked.

“I’m sorry.” Taehyung had no other words, apologetic for asking when it held a much deeper attachment to it.

“Don’t be.” Seokjin was quick to brush off the idea that he was offended. “She lived life to the fullest, I think I can confidently say that I wouldn’t have moved to another country if she hadn’t inspired me to do so.” He giggled, carrying nothing but doting memories involving his grandmother.

Taehyung took a sip from his tea that had gone cold from being forgotten. “She sounds like she was an amazing woman. I’m sure she’s proud that she inspired you to make a big change for yourself.”

They engaged in small talk after, Seokjin briefly telling Taehyung about how he moved to Japan after graduating from college and how his parents were heartbroken over his decision but eventually accepted it and fully supported him. Initially, he moved to Japan to help take care of his grandmother who was already frail and weak, possibly on her last few weeks according to her doctors. But miraculously, she still managed to hold on for two more years. Two years which Seokjin made the most out of.

She was a stubborn old mule, Seokjin exclaimed with glistening eyes and an unfaltering smile, as he told Taehyung about how adamant his grandmother was, strong-willed woman who insisted that he take her out on mountain trails once she grew tired of parks, even if her doctors resolutely advised against it. One of her last words to Seokjin was to live without any regrets, a piece of advice he kept close to his heart even after her passing. It went without saying, Seokjin loved her with every ounce of himself, Taehyung could tell. With glassy eyes and a heart that throbbed as it wrenched with something akin to hurt, Taehyung patiently listened to Seokjin and how he revisited his memories, both good and painful, still bearing an optimistic view on life. He couldn’t help but admire the latter and how his painful experiences didn’t deter him from carrying on and moving on accordingly. Seokjin was brave, that much Taehyung could say with confidence. To start anew and wake up with the same bright outlook was something he could merely envy for now since at the moment, he was lost. He lost himself along the way. By the end of Seokjin’s stories, a number of customers had already stepped foot inside the restaurant, the lunch rush had hungry workers that worked nearby come flocking in.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to get so vulnerable early in the morning. Hope I didn’t dampen your mood this morning.” Seokjin shot Taehyung an apologetic simper as he tightened the apron around his waist and began politely greeting the newcomers.

Taehyung quickly dismissed his words by a brisk shake of his head. “That wasn’t even the case. I’m grateful that you chose to share something so personal. I really enjoyed hearing about your grandmother. I’m sure she’s proud to have raised such a good man.” Embarrassment began seeping in since he wasn’t too sure how Seokjin would take the compliment. The tips of Seokjin’s ears gradually began to turn into a pretty shade of pink, he tried to conceal them with his fingers. “Thanks, Taehyung.” Shooting him one last smile before diving into the busy lunch crowd. It was a one-man team for now since his cousin decided to head back home to Korea for a much needed vacation, though short-staffed at the moment, Seokjin still did his best and gleefully took everyone’s orders. This was Taehyung’s cue to excuse himself and figure out how he wanted to spend the rest of the day, ultimately deciding to visit more tourist spots.

His feet ached from all the walking he did, but with the sights he was able to take in, it was well worth it. His final stop for the day was a traditional Japanese temple, but fortunately he was able to avoid the typically large amount of tourists that visited the shrine. Taehyung practically had the entire place for himself. Reading the instructions that was thoughtfully printed out in different languages, Taehyung picked up one of the incense infused sticks that was provided, lit it as the scent filled the air, before placing it in a large pot where most of them were placed. Following the Japanese etiquette, he tossed a coin and watched how it landed head first into a box in front of him. He rang a bell twice and fervently clasped his hands together to make a wish.

I wish to find whatever it is that I’m searching for.

Satisfied with his wish, he bowed out of respect and exited the sacred grounds. There were numerous statues of either guardian dogs or lions surrounding the place, probably situated there to ward off negative energy from entering. There were also numerous lanterns illuminating the area, but what Taehyung stopped to admire the most was the tall torii gates that acted as the main entrance and exit of the shrine. Fascinated by the striking orange colors that were painted with shades of black. Showing respect, he bowed once more before heading on his way back to the inn.

As soon as he stepped inside the inn, the old lady who managed the place was trying to tell him something. Giving up after a few failed attempts, she rummaged behind the front desk and found what she was looking for. She called him over to show him a photo of a bathing facility and signaled with her hands that it was within walking distance from behind the inn. Onsens were popular in Japan, ND Taehyung had always been curious about it, seeing as how he didn’t have any other plans for the evening, he decided to take her up on her offer. A pebbled path led him a little ways down to a straightforward path leading up to a modest wooden establishment which emanated culture and tradition based on its structure and overall appearance. He was formally greeted by a middle aged man who directed him towards the designated changing area. Hearing about these traditional hot springs but not really having a firm grasp on its proper etiquette, Taehyung debated whether or not he was comfortable going commando but ultimately decided to do it since it would feel weird to take a bath with his clothes on. He had his final piece of clothing on, which was his underwear that didn’t even cover that much, he felt shy as he removed the garment, even if he was the only person in the area. Fortunately, they had small bath towels to cover what needed to be covered, he stepped outside and was instantly greeted by an overwhelming surge of heat coming from the crystal clear waters. Steam was rising from the waters, essentially calling him to take a plunge. Taehyung warily craned his neck to scan the area and check if he had company, once he deemed that the coast was clear, he set his towel on top of a large rock and slowly dipped his toes to check the water’s temperature. Inch by inch he entered the warm pool of water, body immediately feeling relief as the warmth shrouded him. The bath was surrounded by rocks, which probably acted as decoration more than anything. It was a heavenly experience, Taehyung thought to himself as he sunk his body lower. A clear sky containing countless stars and a bright moon right smack in the middle of it all. It was a full moon tonight, for some reason, full moons were Taehyung’s favorite. There was something haunting yet romantic about full moons, constantly reminding him that he was but a small speckle of dust in this vast universe. No matter how isolated he felt, he was never really alone. The steady water and the sound of crickets chirping in the background, Taehyung felt at ease. As if he was one with nature at the moment. Back home, he wouldn’t get an opportunity to sit back and relax like this, perhaps the appeal of taking a vacation in a foreign country started to become apparent at the moment.

But his moment of serenity and solace was short-ljved when he heard the padded sound of slippers hitting the pavement, gradually approaching the area. By instinct, he sat up straight away, suddenly cautious over his surroundings. Illuminated by a singular, miniscule lamp by the entryway, Taehyung could make out a silhouette of a man.

“Hello? Is anybody here?” A low voice called out, one that was painstakingly familiar. Taehyung would be insane if he couldn’t identify a voice he’s been listening to for the past few days. It was Seokjin. It was just his luck to end up at a place, clothes optional, and coincidentally run into a man he just met.

Taehyung was suddenly terrified of the possibility that the person who cooked his breakfast eggs could potentially see his own e--..

As if suddenly being hit with the realization that he had to get out of there fast, he hastily hoisted himself up, cursing under his breath as the impact created splashing noises, which he honestly didn’t have time to worry about. He made a mad dash in search for a place or object that he could hide in for the meantime. Being provided with a limited number of options, he ended up ducking behind a large bush and miserably wishing that Seokjin would just walk away as soon as possible. But of course,

Taehyung had to have the worst luck known to man, instead of turning back around and leaving, Taehyung heard the sound of calm waters being disrupted as Seokjin entered the bath. It was a long and painful night, the mosquitos pestering him weren’t of any help either. Kim Taehyung found himself butt naked, crouched down on muddy grass, hiding from a guy he barely even knew. It didn’t matter if bathing in all your naked glory was considered normal in bathhouses, he would rather get eaten alive by pesky mosquitos than stand in front of Seokjin without an inch of clothing on him. Seokjin even broke out in a hum, humming along to an unfamiliar tune. But no matter how pleasant to the ears his humming was, Taehyung wasn’t in the position to appreciate it. He limbs were beginning to ache, and frankly he was placed in such an uncomfortable, and not to mention, compromising position that he was simply silently wishing for Seokjin to call it a day.

After what seemed like an eternity and a half of quietly maintaining his position on the ground, he could finally hear splashing sounds. He felt like he would be able to breathe freely once Seokjin was gone.

“Hmm? Somebody left a towel.”

Taehyung died a little once he heard Seokjin say that. Against all odds, he was hoping that Seokjin would leave the towel alone, mind his own business and be on his merry way.

After listening to the sound of footsteps eventually growing fainter until it faded away, Taehyung crawled out from behind the bush, elbows and knees stained with dirt. Frantically scanning the area for his towel which was nowhere in sight, he eventually came to the conclusion that Seokjin must have returned the towel with him on his way back. Not only did he have to duck out in hiding for what seemed like forever, but now Taehyung had to conduct an impromptu walk of shame back to the changing area. Shielding what he could, he waited for a bit until he was fully convinced that Seokjin had left the vicinity and made a mad dash towards the changing rooms to get dressed. His skin was flushed, and sadly it had nothing to do with the hot springs.

By the time he plopped onto the bed, Taehyung was exhausted. So much for a night filled with supposed rest and relaxation. If anything, the minor incident added even more stress. Normally, he wouldn’t care who saw him sauntering around naked, but the thought of Seokjin seeing him unexpectedly seeing him naked made him a bit shy. And Kim Taehyung was not a shy person. Going around in circles and not even coming close to a resolute answer, he fell asleep.

Taehyung considered grabbing breakfast elsewhere the next morning, but decided to hide his embarrassment instead. It’s not like Seokjin knew that he was in the same onsen last night, nor did he have to find out about the fact that he hid completely stark naked behind a bush. Steeling his nerves, he went on and had breakfast as usual, engaging in idle chit chat with Seokjin, who seemed more relaxed compared to yesterday.

Good for him, Taehyung’s bitter thought escaped him, keeping in mind how he had experienced the opposite.

Seokjin began asking him which sites he had already visited, and suddenly asked Taehyung if he wanted Seokjin to take him somewhere he hasn’t been for today. Surprised by the sudden invitation, Taehyung couldn’t find a logical reason to decline, especially since Seokjin spoke the language and was well acquainted with the area. Reluctantly, he accepted. After closing down the shop for the rest of the afternoon, Taehyung had asked him numerous times if it was okay to leave the restaurant unattended just to accompany him, and Seokjin was quick to reassure him that it would be fine since he rarely took day offs anyway.

A swift bus ride and they found themselves by the entrance of an extremely busy shopping district. It was a traditional shopping street by the temple grounds that consisted of rows upon rows of miscellaneous items. There was a wide variety of traditional clothing, lanterns, souvenirs that you could take home to remind you of Japan and a huge selection of street food. There were so many different kinds of shops, specialty shops which carried handcrafted chopsticks, colorful fans that probably showcased every color imaginable and many more. Wide eye and distracted, Taehyung began to let his feet wander around in awe. Seokjin chuckled as he trailed after Taehyung, quietly taking after his lead. Taehyung was like a mystified boy, filled with wonder and curiosity as he walked past the busy streets vendors. This was a place Taehyung wouldn’t freely venture to, veering away from crowded areas, but now that Taehyung was experiencing it for himself first hand, he didn’t detest it. Not one bit. In fact, he was enjoying himself. Everywhere he turned proved to be a distraction, a series of oohhs and aahhs from his gleeful expression. Being distracted by lots of foreign sights, there were about a hundred things Taehyung wanted to ask, thankfully Seokjin was attentive enough to pick up on his tell-tale signs and explain things without being asked to do so.

One particular shop held Taehyung’s attention for a relatively long period. It was a quaint little shop selling different kinds of Omamori charms or amulets. It was written prayers written on paper that were sealed inside small pouches that boasted embroidered brocade. While majority of the designs were more on the traditional side, they also had zodiac signs as well as astrological signs which Taehyung was drawn to.

“These are generally believed to bring its owner good luck.” Seokjin explained as his fingers skimmed through the fabric.

“Is that so? Maybe I should hoard and get 100. I think my luck needs them.” Taehyung joked, he didn’t need much convincing if it meant that he could possibly turn his luck around with just one charm. The shop owner noticed them and assumed that they were a couple. Using her fingers she gestured towards the both of them before mouthing out “kawaii”, letting them know that they were a cute couple. Flustered but realizing his lack of knowledge when it came to their local dialect, Taehyung simply bowed his head and mumbled out a thanks. He wouldn’t dare to turn around just to see Seokjin’s reaction knowing full well he didn’t deny anything, and that it would be tiresome to even begin explaining why he’d rathwr not converse and simply resign to the assumption.

Dying to change the subject, Taehyung held up several charms in his desperate attempt to distract the shop owner, asking for her opinion with his facial expression. She shook her head and gestured for him to return his selections and handed him a charm instead, even going as far as to give him a thumbs up. They exited the small shop with Seokjin giggling behind him.

“What’s so funny? Did she hand me a bad luck charm instead?” He asked.

Swiftly shaking his head, Seokjin responded. “No, no. It’s not that. I think she misread the situation and gave you an En Musubi, which I honestly think you don’t need.”

Taehyung’s puzzled expression prompted Seokjin to explain further. “Its typically meant for forming or strengthening bonds. To put it short, it’s a love charm.”

Though flustered and frankly embarrassed, Taehyung couldn’t stop himself from feeding into his curiosity. “And what makes you think I don’t need it?”

Seokjin shot him a look as he eyed Taehyung from top to bottom, causing Taehyung to nearly blush under the intensity of his gaze. Seokjin was undeniably an extremely attractive man, heck, if Jimin saw him he would immediately know that he was just Taehyung’s type. “Sorry for the assumption. I just assumed that you weren’t single? I mean, judging by your good looks..”

Despite the chilly gust of winds, Taehyung could feel his face heating up. “That’s where you’re wrong. I am single.” He interrupted, quickening his pace as he headed to another stall to hide the blush abruptly forming.

He didn’t stick around to witness Seokjin’s moment of realization as it hit him, or how a shy smile appeared afterwards.

They continued to stroll along the hectic roadside shopping district, Taehyung ended up with several shopping bags in tow. Most of which were souvenirs to bring home to his family and friends. Somehow Seokjin convinced him to try renting a kimono and carry on with their stroll wearing one. He picked out one made out of the finest silk materials which had an intricate floral design. To make matters worse, Seokjin even insisted on helping him out with the belt, Taehyung had to think of random things to distract him from blushing hard. Especially when Seokjin had his hands around his waist as he ensured that the belt was secured and cinched around his waist properly. As they walked around in traditional attire, Taehyung tried his best to ignore the looks and whispers with indistinguishable words from people around them. Seokjin must have sensed his aloofness and leaned in to whisper.

“They’re looking because you make a kimono look good.”

Taehyung had to wonder if it was even possible for him to end this day unscathed. He was already a blushing mess.

By the end of their shopping trip, they enjoyed a brisk evening stroll by the local shrine which had several fish ponds containing koi fishes. Seokjin excused himself for a bit and came back with a small bag of fish food to feed to the fishes. They were standing on a cramped bridge made out of wood as they silently threw in pellets and watched how the fishes create a cluster in one congested spot as they scrambled for food.

“What do koi fishes symbolize?” Taehyung asked to fill in the silence between them.

“Success through perseverance. Its also said that they bring prosperity and good luck, but the word koi is also a homophone for another local word that stands for..” He paused. Looking over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of Taehyung’s side profile and how serious his expression was even if he was simply feeding the fishes. “Love.” Seokjin muttered softly under his breath, he wasn’t even sure if Taehyung caught it.

Taehyung was blankly staring ahead, absent-mindedly tossing pellets below him, and for a moment Seokjin was stunned at his beauty. By no means was Seokjin an expert when it came to picking up on hints and mixed signals, but within Taehyung’s beauty came an undeniable trace of sadness. Empty eyes that glistened against the moon’s rays. Seokjin could only assume that there was something more to those Taehyung was blankly staring ahead, absent-mindedly tossing pellets below him, and for a moment Seokjin was stunned at his beauty. By no means was Seokjin an expert when it came to picking up on hints and mixed signals, but within Taehyung’s beauty came an undeniable trace of sadness. Empty eyes that glistened against the moon’s rays. Seokjin could only assume that there was something more to those downcast orbs.

“How long do you plan to stay in Japan for?”

“Two weeks.” Initially, Taehyung had no concrete plan in mind thus booking a or way ticket, but due to scheduled job interviews he had to cut his vacation short.

Two weeks. Seokjin had about a week and a half left to unravel all there was to Kim Taehyung. Normally, he wouldn’t care, but there was something so damning about Taehyung that he felt inclined to want to spend more time with him. Call it a hunch, a gut instinct telling strongly urging him.

“I think your luck is about to turn around.”

Taehyung glanced at him, confused.

“You’ve been hoarding good luck charms left and right.” Seokjin joked. “If your luck isn’t about to change then maybe something else will.”

And Taehyung sincerely hoped it would, otherwise this trip would be a bust. Skepticism lingered as he wondered if he would really find himself again. Change was a natural occurrence, he wasn’t certain if he simply changed overtime or if he was still hanging on to that last bit of hope that his old self was still there.

A gust of wind shot past them sending chills to Seokjin, he then decided to call it a night. They passed by the long route on their way home, engaging in small talk along the way. Taehyung was currently lodging in a more traditional part of Japan where homes remained as they were, untouched. High rise buildings and modern structures that he was used to were nowhere to be found. Knowing that he was in an area that retained its authenticity relaxed him a bit more. Reluctant to the steadfast change he grew accustomed to, it was nice to know how some things remained the same. They stopped in front of the Ryokan Taehyung was staying at, traditionally small and composed of wooden, minimalist architecture that made it seem more connected to nature in comparison to other lavish inns. It had a small fabric signage by the entryway, as they both awkwardly stood by it, unsure of how to part ways.

“That was fun. Thank you for showing me around today.” Taehyung played with his feet, shifting his feet from his toes back to heels and vice versa.

Seokjin made a small hum of acknowledgement but just about as Taehyung was about to enter, he hesitantly called out to him. “By any chance, do you have plans for tomorrow?”

Shaking his head in response, Seokjin decided to shoot his shot.

“Can I show you around again?”

Taehyung was resistant in a way, not wanting to impose on Seokjin’s kindness. But as he weighed out his options, he couldn’t find any malice on taking up his offer. Not only did Seokjin know the area, he was undeniably pleasant to be around. It was like having his own personal tour guide. And since Seokjin was kind enough to offer, he figured it would be rude to decline. That and Seokjin was his type from the getgo, Taehyung would consider himself to be a liar if he said he wasn’t attracted to the latter. He was single, currently on a trip to find himself again, alone in a foreign country and was being offered to be shown around by an attractive guy, Taehyung would be crazy to turn him down.

“If it won’t be too much of a hassle for you, I’d like that.”

They agreed to discuss the specifics tomorrow morning since Taehyung would be having breakfast at the same place. With a light skip to his step and daresay, excitement bubbling in him, Taehyung headed back to his room and fell asleep feeling more lighthearted than he had in a while.

The next morning Taehyung woke up extra early to put a little bit more effort into his appearance, for reasons he would rather not specify. It never hurt anyone to look extra good, just because. Or maybe Taehyung was still in denial. Either way, he made his way past the old lady and received a cheerful greeting in response to the bright smile he flashed her. The reminiscent scent of pancakes filled the air, Taehyung quietly entered the small eatery but the wind chimes signaling his arrival gave him away. Seokjin stepped out of the kitchen to greet him.

“No breakfast for you today.”

“Huh? But I could smell pancakes.” He exclaimed with a pout forming.

“I know, but trust me, you’ll be stuffed before noon.”

Taehyung had to sadly forget about how amazing those pancakes smelled and waited outside for Seokjin, his stomach protesting against his decision to skip breakfast altogether. But Taehyung assumed that Seokjin wouldn’t starve him for no valid reason. After Seokjin went out and flipped his signage from open to closed, they were off to two subway rides and one bus ride which brought them to the outskirts of the city where a local market specializing in seafood was.

It was every seafood lover’s fantasy. Fresh tuna, salmon, eel.. you name it and they probably had it handmade in the form of a delectable sushi. It was a market catered to any foodie enthusiast. Rows upon rows of freshly caught seafood along with miscellaneous ingredients. The stench on the other hand was something Taehyung couldn’t ignore even if he tried, but it was well worth it especially since he saw the way Seokjin’s eyes lit up as vendors who were probably acquaintances of his greeted him. It was such a lively place that consisted of locals that seemed like everybody knew each other. Taehyung took his time observing the stalls and everything looked appetizing, he had trouble deciding which one to try out first from the number of options available. The vibrant selections were distracting enough, but the vendors were equally animated and called Taehyung's attention more times than he could recall.

“How do I even pick?” He turned to Seokjin for help, he giggled at the sight of Taehyung looking so distraught over something as mundane as picking out what to eat.

“Should I recommend some stuff and put you out of your misery or should I let you decide and we can stay here until after sunset?” He joked, enjoying the fact that he got to witness another side of Taehyung. He was now acting like a pouty child that was just told that he wasn’t going to get what he wanted and it was honestly adorable to witness.

“Please. Just pick whatever, I skipped breakfast remember?”

Seokjin chuckled as he told Taehyung to look for a vacant spot to wait while he bought food for the both of them. Needless to say, Taehyung wasn’t disappointed when Seokjin returned with an alarming amount of food. At this rate Taehyung thinks he would devour anything in front of him but as expected from Seokjin, the man had impeccable taste when it came to food. Each bite was even better than the previous, and before Taehyung knew it, the daunting amount of food was depleted within minutes. Seokjin watched him with a fond smile on his face, having small bites here and there, and if Taehyung wasn’t starving he would probably be embarrassed by the way he devoured the food. The sashimi were thinly sliced yet with the amount of fat it contained, it was the perfect serving. Stuffed and fully sated, Taehyung let out a rather loud burp which caused heads to turn and Seokjin to giggle.

“Told you it would be worth it. Do you still have room for dessert?”

“I always have room for dessert.” Contrary to how full he felt, Taehyung had a sweet tooth and desserts were the one thing he could never resist.

Seokjin ended up taking them to a stall which sold soft serve ice cream made out of freshly squeezed milk and pasteurized cheese. Taehyung let out moans of appreciation as he consumed his ice cream, unaware of how loud these moans were. He looked up surprised to find Seokjin blushing and desperately trying to hide his blushing state. They continued walking around the market and Taehyung snapped photos on his phone, pointing it towards everything which caught his eye. Once they reached the end of the market, Taehyung realized that they had spent most of their day there, the sun was about to set indicating how time seemed to pass by in a jiffy especially when he was having fun. It was so easy to joke around and hold a conversation with Seokjin, minimal to no effort required. Perhaps speaking the same language played a huge part in it, or maybe it was the company not the language that made all the difference. Either way, as the days went by Taehyung forgot about why he hesitated to go on the trip to begin with. It was hands down the most fun he’s had in a while, he made a mental note to thank Jimin again for being as persistent as he is, the next time he called.

They were still a few feet away from the exit when Seokjin stopped in his tracks, unsure of how to phrase his next question.

“Do you.. uh.. have any plans for tomorrow?”

Taehyung turned his head to look back at him, a gust of wind breezing past him.

“No, not really. Why?”

The sun was setting as the sky began to transform into vivid hues of orange and red. Fiery yet welcoming. There was a faint spark of hope which Taehyung wasn’t sure if he was willing to acknowledge just yet. It was a tiny fragment, unnoticeable if he chose to forcefully ignore it.

“Can I show you around again?”

And just like that, the tiny fragment grew tenfold. As quickly as the day came to an abrupt end, Taehyung’s faint spark of hope became even more evident. There was a sense of gratification that came with Seokjin’s words, words Taehyung was irrefutably hopeful for. There wasn’t a moment of hesitation, Taehyung immediately shook his head, already looking forward to what the next day had in store for him.

There were so many options on what they could do, or where Seokjin could take him to, but the most pivotal part that stood out for Seokjin was how eager he was to see more of Taehyung. To squeeze in as much time as he could just to get to know him better. The itinerary was insignificant in comparison to the reason behind the invitation. Living in another country for a couple of years now, Seokjin’s personal desires were never his top priority, but how could he ever forget the way did several blaring flutters the moment a man, who looked confused for the most part, stepped foot inside his quaint eatery?

Rhythmically dedicated to living a sequestered life after his grandmother’s passing, he assumed love or even something similar to the concept, was something he would never find. But life, filled with unexpected twists and turns, found a way to bring love right on his doorstep. It was too early to call it anything, but a fluttering heart was a sign he couldn’t ignore.

With a shrug and a half repressed smile, Taehyung answered. “I don’t see why not.”

After an hour long trip back to the inn, nightfall had already come. Taehyung’s foot played with a small pebble on the ground, kicking it with minimal force only to drag it back to his position with his heel.

“So, we’re here.”

“Mhmm.” Seokjin let out a small hum, equally awkward when it came to parting ways.

“By the way, where are you staying?”

Seokjin pointed towards a reasonably sized house located behind the eatery he works in, since the inn was family owned it made sense that Seokjin and his relatives would live somewhere close.

“Looks nice.” Taehyung stated, running out of things to say, he ended the night by informing Seokjin that he would be going in ahead and thanked him once more for today’s activity.

He hard trouble finding sleep that night, wondering if it was okay to allow himself to feel all sorts of things when the focal point of his trip was to try being alone for once to search for missing parts of himself.

Taehyung woke up bright and early the next day, cursing himself for not asking Seokjin what he had in mind so he could dress up accordingly. He decided to go with a comfortable ensemble just in case he had a tedious itinerary in mind, settling for a loose button down shirt and his favorite pair of slacks. As he descended the small staircase, he was surprised to find Seokjin already waiting for him by the front desk. He beamed at Taehyung, his smile that could put the sun’s bright rays to shame. Taehyung instantly reciprocated the warm welcome. They decided to have a quick snack on their way to their destination which was about an hour away from the inn. Side by side, they sat on the bus and Seokjin brought out two neatly wrapped onigiris to be shared along the way. They engaged in small talk, Seokjin pointing out to various places that held fond memories from the window accompanied by brisk stories about those certain places. As the days passed, Taehyung was getting to peel off several layers off of Seokjin, it felt like some sort of privilege to get to know someone who was willing to openly share so much about himself when Taehyung knew based on firsthand experience how difficult it was to meet genuine people nowadays. Taehyung pondered on whether or not he was ready to do the same. Jimin has often told him that he opens up and gives too much, too fast. Maybe that was the problem: Taehyung gives and gives and leaves nothing for himself.

The bus ride didn’t feel like it lasted for almost an hour, they soon found themselves back in the bustling city center where there were thousands of faces, and tall sky high buildings. It was the more fast paced area within Tokyo, starkly different to the quiet neighborhood Taehyung was staying at. While staying in the heart of Tokyo where practically everything was accessible sounded appealing, Taehyung opted for a place where he can clear his head.

They began walking, Seokjin taking the lead while Taehyung matched his pace. They stopped in front of a frighteningly colossal building, Taehyung being deathly afraid of heights reassured himself that maybe they weren’t going to head all the way to the top. He almost believed his assertive thoughts to console himself, and it was working up until they entered the elevator and Taehyung helplessly watched as the topmost floor lit up after Seokjin pressed the button. Shaky hands gripped on the metal railings, his hands were beginning to sweat profusely and it didn’t help that the elevator was made out of glass, giving Taehyung a not-so-nice view as he ascended the building. Witnessing the ground appear further and further caused his insides to jumble up, he felt the slight urge to throw up. Seokjin noticed how the color from Taehyung’s features began to quickly fade away, he was turning paler by the second, not to mention Taehyung looked like he was about to pass out at any minute. Filled with concern, he rushed over to the corner and now that he was looking more closely, Taehyung was shaking like a loose leaf, cowering in fear.

“Oh God, are you afraid of heights? I’m so sorry, Taehyung. I should have asked first before taking you here.” He placed a hand on his back, feeling Taehyung’s body tremble under his touch. The dominant feeling of guilt overwhelmed Seokjin. He felt awful.

Suddenly, the most precipitous turn of events happened, a pair of quivering arms securely wrapped around Seokjin’s frame, and he was momentarily stunned.

Taehyung was shaking, burying his face in Seokjin’s chest as he was clearly terrified beyond reason.

“i-it’s okay. I’ll be fine once we reach the top. It’s just that the trip going up is scary.” Unable to look anywhere else, Taehyung clung on to dear life hoping that the dreaded trip to the top would be over. It was one thing to be thousands of feet in the air, it was another thing to feel the slow and painful ascent. With his trembling hands gripping hard onto Seokjin’s shirt, Taehyung couldn’t even be bothered to be embarrassed from holding on too tightly, his fear outweighed his embarrassment. He was heaving and taking as much deep breaths as he could that he didn’t even notice how the person he was holding on to stopped breathing completely. Seokjin could care less about heights, but he wasn’t prepared for the little to no space between him and Taehyung. It seemed like forever but they eventually reached the hundred and fifth floor of the building, the door opened and Taehyung released his hold on Seokjin and sprinted out of the elevator

Fortunately for Seokjin, that left him ample time to collect himself and waltz out of the elevator seeming unaffected when he thinks that his soul probably left him at one point or another but still tried his best to appear unfazed by having Taehyung’s arms wrapped around him moments ago. Placing one hand over his erratic heart, he chased after Taehyung who looked glad to just be on steady ground.

“This place has the best view in the city, and it’s lesser known compared to other observatories within the area. But had I known that you were scared of heights..”

Taehyung’s eyebrows furrowed. “Stop apologizing. I’ll be fine.” He reassured Seokjin, taking the initiative as he slowly headed towards one of the window walls surrounding the enclosed space. His fears died the minute he caught a glimpse of the view overlooking Mt. Fuji. White clumps were beginning to accumulate at the very top, an indication that the cold winter season was steadily approaching.

It was indeed worth it. A crystal clear view overlooking the busy city of Tokyo, well worth Taehyung struggling to keep himself steady amidst his shaky legs. Well worth experiencing his heart plummet to the ground. His words got stuck in his throat as the observation deck’s view stole everything he wanted to say. It was a once in a lifetime experience to catch a view as spectacular as this, even the weather was in agreement as the skies cleared up to not hinder his view, giving Taehyung an unobstructed panoramic field of vision. Who knew that a city as immersive and fast-moving as Tokyo could look so serene when observed from thousands of miles above?

“Pretty, isn’t it?” Seokjin stood next to him, hands digging deep into his pockets. He did his best to look straight ahead, not entirely convincing himself that he was pertaining to the view ahead or the one that stood right beside him.

They stood in silence for a bit, Seokjin offered to take photos of Taehyung with the scenic view as his background. On their way back down they passed by an area with glass paneled floors, he could tell how Taehyung was eager to try it but his fear made him hesitate. Not wanting Taehyung to miss out on the experience since he was already a few meters away, Seokjin took the initiative and stepped on the glass flooring, making his way towards the center and had one hand outstretched , providing Taehyung with the option to take it.

Taehyung quickly glanced at the floor, and back towards Seokjin, and proceeded to repeat this notion multiple times as if it would aid him when it came to making a decision. No matter how sturdy the glass flooring looked, at the back of Taehyung’s mind, he knew that it was still glass. Prone to breaking at any given moment. Fragile. Pretty much like his current state. But the hand reaching our to him looked tempting, enticing even. Taking it would be a leap of faith for him. Being deathly afraid of heights, Taehyung wouldn’t willingly step foot on glass flooring that showed him just how high up the ground he was, if things went wrong, he could plummet thousands of feet back to the ground. Or perhaps that was his paranoia getting the best of him once again. But there was something so irrevocably reassuring in Seokjin’s smile as he eagerly waited for him, so damn compelling that Taehyung’s body began acting on its own accord. His feet began moving before his brain could catch up with what was happening. Shaky, uncertain steps cautiously trudging towards where Seokjin was, but the second he placed his hand on top of Seokjin’s, blind faith was placed as well. Before Taehyung knew it, he was standing in the middle of the glass floored observation deck, battling his biggest fear in the process. He could feel the tremble in his hands but this only prompted Seokjin to hold on to it even tighter.

“Its okay, deep breaths.” He began showing an example, patience unwavering as he provided Taehyung with ample time to adjust to his surroundings and relax himself. Taehyung soon followed suit, eyes squeezed shut with his entire body trembling at the thought of being so high up and potentially seeing just how high up he was.

Seokjin continued to pepper him with comforting words, reminding Taehyung that he wasn’t standing alone. Soon his words seemed to take effect once Taehyung mustered up the courage to quickly peer one eye open and take in his surroundings.

“You don’t have to look down, it’s fine.” Seokjin reminded him. What he didn’t know that Taehyung was as stubborn as a mule, constantly determined to push his limits. Most of the time his determination backfired on him. Somehow he had convinced himself that he was already here, the most difficult step, which was taking the first actual step, was over. The very least he could do was reap the fruits of his labor and witness the painstakingly breathtaking view which everyone keeps on making a huge fuss about. Refusing to let go of Seokjin’s hand despite how awkward it probably was for him, Taehyung had the mindset that once he let go, he would somehow fall to the ground or something along those lines. Letting his embarrassment take the backseat and prioritizing his agonizing fear, he gave Seokjin’s hand a little squeeze before fluttering both eyes open. Bewildered but doing his darn best to conceal it, Seokjin’s tone remained neutral and soft.

“Oh? Are you sure about this, Taehyung? You can keep your eyes closed and I’ll just lead you back.”

Shaking his head like the stubborn man that he is, Taehyung was already determined to face his fears. He kept his gaze steady, staring straight at a blank wall before making the decision to suddenly look down. The view below gave him an overhead picture of the city, it made him seem like he was standing on top of the city and although his knees were beginning to feel like half-cooked noodles, he held his ground and continued to look. It was definitely unlike anything he’s ever seen before, a view he could only witness from being elevated at such a degree. Taehyung was so blown away by the view that he didn’t notice how he began breaking into cold sweat, trickling down the sides of his head. Seokjin, on the other hand, thought that this was a cause for concern since he wasn’t sure if Taehyung was in the middle of a breakdown and was too stunned to say so himself. A pair of steady arms began to scoop Taehyung up, princess style, as Seokjin took hurried steps back to the area without the glass paneled floors. This time, without a doubt, Taehyung really was too stunned to speak. He has never been carried in such a manner, or wait, perhaps he hasn’t been carried since his years as a toddler, the realization made things even more alarming. There faces were close, a little too close, that Taehyung found himself mesmerized as he stared at Seokjin’s distinct side profile and how he was blessed with perfect proportions. There was no denying how attractive he was, but seeing him up close triggered something within Taehyung that his chest began to feel like it was a few seconds away from doing somersaults. Carefully lowering Taehyung back on the ground, Seokjin looked flustered. His ears giving away the amount of embarrassment he was feeling.

“I.. Um.. Thought you were having a nervous breakdown. Were you? Wait, don’t answer that. I’ll die from embarrassment if you weren’t and I ended up doing something so hasty.”

Taehyung erupted into a fit of giggles, deciding right then and there that he would spare Seokjin from further embarrassment and never admit to the fact that he was actually perfectly fine.

“I think I’m done with the scenic views for today. Shall we go?” Changing the subject entirely, Taehyung struggled to fight back his smile as he began walking ahead of Seokjin towards the exit.

The chilly air greeted him as the doors swung open. Regardless of how spectacular the view was, Taehyung was still glad to be back on the ground. They ended up having dinner at the nearest convenience store before taking the last bus back to the inn. Exhaustion caught up to them as they spent the trip back home in silence. Taehyung was still reeling from the fact that he was carried that it made him completely forget about the fact that he had conquered one of his biggest fears today.

“Thanks for today, Seokjin.” Taehyung placed one hand on top of Seokjin’s knee, it was practically a fraction of a second, nothing more than a slight brush of the hand. And it baffled Seokjin how such a meager touch left behind waves and waves of undetectable electric currents in its wake. He was caught staring at the spot Taehyung touched for a disconcerting amount of time before realizing rhat he had to at least say something in response.

“You were brave today.”

“And so were you.” Taehyung whispered out before bringing his attention back to the window as he watched how a number of houses zipped on by. Confused by his choice of words, Seokjin decided to drop the subject matter altogether. Perhaps it was better if he didn’t ask further.

The following day, Seokjin’s establishment was scheduled to host a corporate parry which meant his hands would be tied throughout the day and Taehyung had to venture out on his own. Taehyung’s heart sank a bit after finding out he wouldn’t be able to spend time with Seokjin, an intrusive thought that convinced him that maybe he was losing his mind. It shouldn’t be upsetting that he wasn’t going to see Seokjin tomorrow, it really shouldn’t.

But the reality was, that it was. They bid each other farewell and said their goodnight’s before heading back to their respective rooms. Taehyung spent a good amount of time staring at the white walls, wondering if he was feeling too much, too soon or if it was just an infatuation that would eventually pass. Finding somebody else to add into his life was out of the equation.

People always leave. It was a fact. A repetitive phenomenon that kept occurring in Taehyung’s life. But despite his best efforts to stop overthinking or to maybe get Seokjin out of his head for a minute, he ended up miserably failing. His feeling were going to remain, whether or not they got out of hand, and at the end of the day, Taehyung decided to just let them be. If something was going to stem from his brewing emotions, then so be it. If not..

Then he just might regret taking the damn vacation in the first place. Shutting his eyes and pulling the thinly woven blanket on top of himself, Taehyung called it a night and forced himself to sleep.

The sun greeted him before his alarm had the chance to do so, the weather was nice outside and Taehyung was still in a foreign country, but the thought of not seeing Seokjin today dampened his mood and the usual excitement he carried with him. He decided to take a morning stroll and casually wander off to wherever his feet drifted him off to, and Taehyung ended up at a local market. While the dishes on display looked appetizing, he didn’t have the appetite for them and ended up skipping breakfast altogether. Taehyung left the market with the same empty stomach he came in with and a bag filled with trinkets to bring home to Jimin. He continued on his stroll passing by numerous establishments selling all kinds of things, none of which really caught his interest. A couple of hours had passed and Taehyung found himself circling back towards the inn. There were a number of things he could accomplish on his free day, but somehow the thought of doing or seeing these things alone didn’t sound as appealing as it used to. Despite his mind’s insistence to leave Seokjin alone for the day and not bother him, Taehyung was reminded that his self restraint was nothing but a joke. Before he knew it he was already halfway inside Seokjin’s restaurant, curiously scoping out the area in search of him. Ignorantly emerging out of the kitchen with a pot in hand which he almost dropped in surprise, Seokjin clearly was not expecting to see Taehyung today.

“You almost scared me half to death, Taehyung!” There wasn’t a hint of anger in his tone as he carefully placed the pot on top of a trivet made out of the same material they use to produce corks.

Taehyung let out a sheepish apology, he had about twenty witty greetings at the top of his head that would serve as an excuse for him suddenly appearing out of nowhere when the rather obnoxious rumbling in his stomach letting Seokjin know that he was slightly starving ruined the moment for him.

All of his remaining profound and collected thoughts were tossed out the window as sheer embarrassment replaced them.

Thankfully, Seokjin didn’t tease him about him and flashed him another one of his comforting smiles.

“Hungry?”

Caught in the act, Taehyung fumbled with his right lobe. “Yeah but aren’t you busy today?”

“Want to help me out in the kitchen today? With the amount of taste testing and snacking I do while cooking, it might as well be a full meal or two.” Typically, Seokjin detested having people around his workplace since it interfered with his cooking, but maybe because it was Taehyung, he didn’t mind making a teeny exception.

The polite thing to do was to decline and head on his merry way in order to leave Seokjin to continue his business, but Taehyung knew he practically had about a week left until he was set to return back to Korea, maybe bending his code of ethics for a bit wouldn’t be such a bad idea. He ended up agreeing and tying an apron similar to Seokjin’s around his waist as he followed Seokjin back to the kitchen area. It was modest but had just about everything one would need to produce culinary masterpieces, or in Seokjin’s case, the best brunch meals in Tokyo. Instructing Taehyung to fetch a few ingredients and dice up a couple of pieces of vegetable, Seokjin worked silently at the far end corner of the room and casually slid a plate containing a freshly made Katsu sandwich in front of Taehyung.

“Eat up. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” He smiled before getting back to work, leaving Taehyung a tad bit more smitten than he already was. Seokjin was sweet without going through the extremes to convey this, and maybe Taehyung found himself swooning over the smallest traces of affection sent his way. He happily devoured the sandwich created for him before going back to crushing garlic gloves and dicing onions.

They spent the entire afternoon tirelessly working in the kitchen, Taehyung doubts he was of any use, but Seokjin was quick to assure him that he made things easier for him which made him do a little happy dance on the inside. By the time six o’clock rolled around, people began flocking into the small space and within a span of hours, the place was completely packed. The thing about the Japanese was that despite being heavily intoxicated, they still maintained a pinch of discipline. Taehyung watched in amazement at how one man was basically falling all over the place and how at least one colleague came to his rescue every single time. Seokjin’s restaurant was rented out and he provided a buffet style spread for his patrons so they could freely get drunk and not have to worry about food. Usually, alcoholic beverages weren’t supplied in his restaurant, but since one of his childhood friends asked him nicely, he made an exception for that night.

Watching the drunken chaos unfold from a stool behind his counter, Seokjin turned to look at Taehyung and noticed how he had a tendency to get lost as he went on one of his people watching binges. “It’s a bit chaotic, isn’t it?”

With his chin resting on top of his open palm, Taehyung watched how some people were stumbling on their own feet and struggled to maintain their balance, grabbing onto anything they could get ahold of. It reminded him of himself not too long ago when he was going through his break up on top of getting laid off of work. It wasn’t a proud moment in his life but Taehyung found himself emptying bottle after bottle, night after night to the point wherein Taehyung completely understood why Jimin scolded him every chance he got. He must have acted and looked like a mess. Fortunately he got rid of his binge drinking and finally had a firm grip on reality. He shuddered, never wanting to experience that again. “Let them be. Sometimes things get so bad that people have nothing left but liquor to remind them that they’re still alive.”

The sad glint in Taehyung’s eyes was enough to let Seokjin know that what he just said had some deeper meaning to it.

“They look like they’re having fun anyway.” He added, trying to lighten up the mood.

A woman who left a red stiletto and was too preoccupied flirting with her co-worker to notice caught Seokjin’s attention. “Most importantly, are you having fun, Taehyung? Sorry I made you involuntarily work on your vacation.” Realizing that maybe inviting Taehyung to aid him with kitchen duties wasn’t exactly a good idea. Moreover, Seokjin reached that decision because of his selfish wants.

A popping sound followed by the distinct sound of fizzing could be heard as Taehyung opened up a can of beer, reaching for another one which he tossed to Seokjin. He traced the rim of the lid with his fingertips. “Matter of fact, I am. I get to relax and watch people get shitfaced.” He said with a giggle. “Besides, I’d be lying if I said I would rather wander off in the streets alone. Chopping ingredients was fun.” He knew for certain that his “skills” were far from professional. The onions came out in different lengths and sizes, and the garlic ended up in either huge chunks or itty bitty pieces.

“Then I’m glad I invited you today.” Lifting the can, his lips cushioned the metal rim, Seokjin could taste the toasted amber liquid. “I got to see you too.” He said in a haste before gulping down half of the can in one go. Abruptly standing up as pne of his customers called for his attention, Seokjin could only cite a little prayer that Taehyung didn’t catch his words.

Except he did. His words left him puzzled. Could it mean one thing or another? He sat back and drank the rest of his beer as he absent-mindedly observe the room. Most of the food they had prepared earlier were depleted, and the bottles were piling up. The room was filled with noise yet Taehyung had no problem drowning it out with his thoughts. His withheld attraction towards Seokjin was blaringly obvious by now. He was transfixed on the fact that he could instantly find Seokjin in a crowded room. A tall man with broad shoulders and a charming smile that made his impromptu trip to Japan worth more than he expected.

A few hours passed and the party was finally beginning to dwindle down, there were merely a handful of people left and Seokjin was left with the task of politely asking them to leave so he could close down the establishment. Taehyung took it upon himself to fetch a large trash bag from the storage room, as he began to pick up leftover bottles and cans from the tables. As soon as the last person left, Seokjin looked drained, plopping down on the nearest cushion.

“Wow. That was a lot for one night.”

Taehyung laughed but continued to clean up the rest of the tables.

“Let me do that. You’ve done more than enough for today. How would you like me to pay you? I can transfer money to your account, or would you prefer cash?”

Another giggle escaped Taehyung, Seokjin made it sound like he was working part-time for the latter.

They barely did anything today, but Taehyung was feeling more alive than he did these past few weeks. His body was buzzing with excitement. Taking advantage of his chirpy mood, he decided to be bold for a change. “I don’t want your money, Seokjin. How about you take me somewhere nice on your next day off?”

It took Seokjin by surprise, especially since Taehyung had never explicitly asked to be taken anywhere before. His mouth slightly parted open as quickly as it shut, he struggled to find his words. “Would tomorrow be fine?”

A grin emerged. Suddenly, wiping down tables was the most rewarding chore in the world. “Tomorrow sounds great!” Biting his tongue once he realized that maybe he sounded too eager, but eventually shrugged it off. He was eager if it meant spending another full day with Seokjin. At this point, it didn’t even matter where Seokjin took him or what they were going to do, he simply wanted to spend as much time as he could with Seokjin.

After Seokjin’s insistence to clean up the rest of the place by himself, Taehyung eventually relented and headed back to the inn, but not without saying goodnight at least three times. Well-aware of the fact that he was acting like some lovestruck teenager crushing on someone, Taehyung basked in the feeling. It's been a relatively long time since he felt this way, and it wouldn’t hurt anyone to indulge in this feeling a bit longer.

He found sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, thoughts mainly composed of the one person that’s been frequenting his mind lately, Taehyung drifted off to sleep.

The next day, they took the bus again as well as several train rides towards their destination. Taehyung made sure that he dressed extra nicely for the occasion, or lack thereof. In a crisp light blue shirt that complimented his features, neatly tucked into his khaki trousers, Taehyung knew he looked as good as he felt that morning. If his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him, he swears he caught Seokjin not-so-subtly glancing at him multiple times. All of which fueled his delusion even further. They ended up at a park containing a humongous open spaces surrounded by trees with its leaves gradually turning into pretty shades of yellows, reds and oranges, creating a very distinct autumn palette.

“It really is autumn.” Taehyung remarked as he giddily darted towards a large open field where onlookers were cozily positioned on their blankets. There were families with their kids having picnics, couples taking aesthetic photos for their social media accounts, tons of people walking their dogs. The rustling sound of leaves as they floated along the sidewalks as well as the sudden decrease in weather, creating a chill that reminded Taehyung that winter wasn’t too far behind. He underestimated the rapid weather change and realized that he was a tad bit underdressed for the weather.

He found a large tree nearby and simply plopped down right in front of it, without a care if the ground beneath would stain his clothes or not. Although Taehyung was born in the winter, he always associated autumn with the word magical. There was just something so appealing about days getting shorter in order to give way to longer nights. Seokjin, who had his hands dug deep inside his jacket’s pockets, took a seat next to Taehyung, instantly relaxed by the cool weather under the shade.

“You enjoy autumn?”

“I enjoy every season. But autumn has an extra special place in my heart.” Taehyung responded, emitting a giggle out of Seokjin who found it eerie that he could tell that Taehyung was a person who enjoyed every single season.

A warm, melodious tune began to play. Seokjin looked around in search of the source and spotted a young man strumming the chords to his guitar with expert ease while he serenaded his companion over a pretty rust colored blanket. They were both watching the man serenade the woman. This park contained tons of children running freely, their giggles filling the wide open space. There were also numerous couples out on a date, admiring the scarlet infused buoyant mood, just like Taehyung was. But for some reason they seemed different. Nevermind the fact that they were out on a date and Taehyung was obviously not, they also had something he didn’t have. They were more liberated, relaxed, without a care in the world. Whereas Taehyung was in the very same park, looking for an escape. Running away from his problems. Along with the liberation Seoul could never provide came honesty. Somehow Japan gave Taehyung a profound sense of freedom he couldn’t find in Seoul, which is why it came as a surprise just how honest he’s become. Honest enough to admit that he was seeking an escape, at least.

“They’re so carefree. Would it sound awful if I admitted that I sorta envy them?” He found himself muttering his thoughts out in the open, hoping that it would get blown away with the steady wind. A few children where now heavily engaged in a game of hide and seek, running circles around a huge tree. The serenading taking place in the background had now stopped.

Feeling spontaneous, Seokjin abruptly stood up and offered an outstretched hand to Taehyung, who looked at him confused.

“Then let’s be as carefree as them.” He nonchalantly stated, as if this didn’t leave Taehyung even more perplexed than he originally was.

“What do you mean?”

“Would you like to dance?” His ears began to burn as embarrassment settled in, but his determination to cheer Taehyung up mattered more than the embarrassment he was experiencing.

Looking around in search of something, Taehyung glanced at the outstretched hand before glancing back up at Seokjin.

“But there’s no music?”

Seokjin chuckled, a sound Taehyung has grown fond up during the duration of his short trip. “Music or no music, that’s never stopped anybody from dancing. So let me ask you again, would you like to dance, Taehyung?”

It was silly, and honestly it was the type of silliness Taehyung would normally never partake in, but he thought to himself, maybe this is the silliness I need in my life. Without thinking twice he grabbed on to Seokjin’s hand, and was pulled up as soon as their hands connected. They awkwardly stood facing each other for a while, Taehyung thought for a second that Seokjin would break out in some crazy dance, but instead his trembling fingers ghosted Taehyung’s hips, not fully touching the garment on his body.

“Do you mind?” He asked, unsure.

Taehyung shook his head, not really knowing what to expect but placing his full trust in Seokjin regardless. Gaining consent from Taehyung, Seokjin visibly relaxed as he placed both hands on either side of Taehyung’s hips, gentle touches that were hardly there. Seokjin wasn’t particularly fond of dancing, but his grandmother always told him that he was a great dancer which led him to believe that he was at least somewhat decent at it. With no melody to follow and nobody to mimic moves from, he played an imaginary tune in his head and began swaying his body to the imaginary beat. With much confidence, he glided across the grassy area and Taehyung, who was left giggling for the most part, followed his lead. He draped his arms around Seokjin’s neck as his feet followed his direction.

“1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.” Seokjin began to count out loud, following a basic three step dance which he picked up from one of his aunt’s a long time ago.

“Are you counting your steps?” Taehyung asked, and the way Seokjin turned beet red answered his question in an instant. Giggles filled the air as Taehyung found it adorable, he grinned at Seokjin. “Carefree, Seokjin. Wasn’t that the main point?”

Seokjin laughed at his own blunder, realizing that he was probably taking things too seriously when they were dancing to let go of their inhibitions for a bit. The young couple spotted Seokjin and Taehyung slow dancing in the middle of the park and the man began strumming on his guitar once more, providing music for them . It was a slow tempo, perfect for slow dancing, and Seokjin was thankful that now they at least had some music to accompany them. They continued to dance without a care in the world, just like those couples Taehyung had been admiring not too long ago. Ignoring the looks they received from onlookers who passed them by. It was probably quite the spectacle to be slow dancing in broad daylight in the middle of a public park, but in those minutes spent dancing with Seokjin, Taehyung had completely forgotten about his problems. They seemed so insignificant in comparison to how liberating it felt to not give a fuck about other people’s opinions on him. He threw his head back a couple of times whenever his giggles were becoming too much, the deep sound of his chuckle as Seokjin spun him around stuck with Seokjin.

It felt like a sublime taste of freedom. They continued to dance until the music stopped and the young couple had completely disappeared from the park, and they carried on until their feet grew so tired that they eventually had to stop. The rest of the day was spent strolling around the park, and despite Taehyung’s initial hesitations, he ended up snapping several photos of Seokjin and himself.

The trip ended with Taehyung feeling fulfilled yet he knew he would end up wanting more. With Seokjin, it was like an itch he couldn’t scratch.

The days progressed with Taehyung spending majority, if not all, of his time with Seokjin. They made a trip to numerous cafes and restaurants, and even hit a few izakayas along the way. Seokjin took him to a local museum during one of their impromptu outings, as well as a small district which was composed of anything and everything related to anime. There’s a saying that goes time flies when you’re having fun, and Taehyung could only assume that he was having the time of his life, because before he knew it, he merely had a couple of days left until his scheduled departure. Time was dwindling and Taehyung wasn’t sure if he was as eager to leave Japan or if his feelings towards the foreign country had drastically changed over the last few days.

He was smiling, heck, laughing, more than he has in the past year. The problems he brought along with him were gone at the first sight of Seokjin. Before long, he only had three days left.

Over a bowl of instant ramen and stuffed onigiris at a local convenience store , which were soon becoming Taehyung’s go-to snacks, Seokjin fell silent.

Stirring his noodles and watching how the broth sloshed from the chopsticks’ impact, Taehyung couldn’t help but ask why he was being reserved since it was highly unlike him.

“Something on your mind?” He tried to address it as cool and collected as possible, though his question was laced with concern.

“You’re leaving in a few days.” Seokjin said matter-of-factly, not really answering Taehyung’s question.

“I am.”

Long, somewhat crooked fingers drummed against aluminum surface of the countertop, Seokjin seemed to be completely consumed by his thoughts. Whatever was going on in his mind, he was really thinking about it. After a long period of silence where Seokjin was simply watching Taehyung as he slurped down his noodles with much gusto, he finally broke his silence.

“Would you like to go somewhere with me tomorrow?”

Taehyung was dumbfounded for a bit since they’ve basically been going out on a daily basis, it really wasn’t something to get so worked up over. Like always, he happily obliged.

“Pack a small bag, we might get back late since it’s it’ll be a long drive.”

He looked up from the large bowl in his hands, devouring the last of his noodles. “Where are we going?”

“I’m taking you to the place I spent most of my childhood summers in.” A fond smile appeared on Seokjin’s face, as if the statement was accompanied by warm memories. “Have you ever been to a strawberry farm?”

Shaking his head, Taehyung didn’t venture out to remote places back hone. He was a city dweller through and through, always has been.

“Then it’s settled.” Seokjin went back to his old self, enthusiastically engaging in conversation, like a huge load has been lifted off of his chest.

It wasn’t a big deal, Taehyung thought to himself and was left to wonder why Seokjin was so deep in thought in the first place.

They left the inn right before the sun rose and were on the road just in time to witness how it’s radiant rays rose above the vast landscape. Taehyung rested his elbow on top of the car’s window with the glass rolled all the way down, feeling the breeze fan against his skin. The car ride took almost four hours, which was longer than Taehyung had anticipated but didn’t seem to mind either way. He was way too immersed in his very own version of carpool karaoke, and was surprised to find out how Seokjin was up to date when it came to the latest Kpop songs he belted out to, even throwing in a few dance steps which made Taehyung giggle. After hours of driving past empty lots and countryside views that were beginning to look identical, a few small cottages that had quite a distance from each other came to view. The change in scenery was an indication that they were inching closer to a residential area, and true enough the car stopped in front of a modest traditional home. It had a quaint house directly connected to a large field, Taehyung could spot strawberries that were almost ready to be harvested.

“My uncle tends to the crops, in case you were wondering. He lives nearby, but this house is abandoned for the most part, but he drops by once every few weeks to do simple maintenance work and to mainly keep the place tidy.” Seokjin stated, as if he could already predict what Taehyung was about to ask. He helped Taehyung with his bag, to which he insisted he could manage since it was one measly bag, and in all honesty, while he didn’t mind being well taken care of by Seokjin, it only led him to believe things he wasn’t ready to openly entertain just yet.

Lifting up a potted plant to reveal a small key, Seokjin unlocked the front door which creaked as it was slowly pushed open. Taehyung was surprised to see how clean the place was despite being uninhabited for who knows how long. It had wide open spaces, sliding doors which separated the rooms and huge windows that allowed a lot of light to illuminate the entire place. There was a brightly colored curtain leading to the kitchen area where everything was mainly made out of wood. Seokjin advised Taehyung to leave his bag wherever he wanted and to follow him towards a small backdoor leading towards the field.

It was a vast open area and Taehyung found himself in the middle of a patchwork of lush greenery. It was a breathtaking sight, nestled far away from the busy city of Tokyo. Rows upon rows of delectable bright red strawberries that almost looked too good to pluck out and eat.

“Ever tried to harvest fresh strawberries?” Seokjin inquired as he fetched a woven basket and handed it to Taehyung.

He shook his head, like the predictable city boy that he was. He followed Seokjin around the field and searched for produce that were fully grown and ready to be handpicked. Before he knew it, his basket was full and honestly, so was his heart. After spending a few hours out in the field, Seokjin told him that he was free to lounge around while he got dinner started which was music to Taehyung’s ears since he had always been the type of person that was fond of wandering off and discovering new places. Next to the strawberry farm was a meadow that was gradually shifting in colors, matching the autumn weather. Taehyung got an instant waft of the woody and citrus scent as he made a mad dash past grassy areas in search for the right spot. There were bouts of long grass seeded with wildflowers that surrounded him, and it wasn’t everyday that Taehyung was granted the opportunity to be one with nature, so despite wearing light colored clothes, he could care less about soiling them. Taking a deep breath, he lowered himself to the ground. With both hands acting as a cushion for his head, Taehyung shut his eyes and let the wonder of nature consume him entirely. It was soothing to the soul to stay still, even for just a few minutes, in a world where everyone is too busy chasing after time. Almost as if we’re always running out of it. It served as a nice reminder that it was okay to pause and slow things down for a bit. The wind blew as the grass brushed against his skin, Taehyung laid underneath the clear blue skies for as long as he could. The sun gradually setting behind the tall mountaintop in the distance let him know that he’s been laying there for quite a while, realizing that he took off without letting Seokjin know where he was going, it took every fiber in his being to get up from his cozy position. Taking a good look at his surroundings one more time, cementing the picturesque view into his memory, he slowly began walking back to where he previously came from. Chest feeling lighter than ever, Taehyung returned back with a much clearer mind, taking alongside him a noticeably cheerier demeanor. He arrived back just in time, Seokjin was in the middle of setting what he had cooked for them onto fancier plates which looked like beautiful, intricate Japanese dishware that were usually saved for special occasions.

Taehyung could be served food on paper plates and he would still happily eat them if it meant sharing another meal with Seokjin.

The mouthwatering aroma filled the air, and Taehyung animatedly talked about how he stumbled upon

‘a small piece of heaven’ as he explored the nearby areas. As usual, Seokjin was happy to listen to whatever Taehyung had to say, trying so desperately hard to hide how wide he was grinning beneath his open palm and muttering out some poor excuse related to the importance of chewing your food properly. He dove into great detail about how he was blown away by the scenery, and Seokjin sat there silently chewing on his food yet hanging on to his every word.

Taehyung got lost in his stories, describing his emotions with utmost clarity. Meanwhile, Seokjin was simply getting lost in Taehyung.

It was mind boggling how Taehyung managed to acquire such a strong hold on Seokjin, making him realize how there was no specific timetable that should be followed when it came to developing feelings towards someone. Some people spend a lifetime with another person and still don’t get to know them in depth, and though Seokjin’s sure that there was more to Taehyung that needed unraveling, he likes what he’s seen so far. Instant attraction that led to Seokjin wanting to know the latter on a more personal basis.

Taehyung continued to ramble on while Seokjin happily listened to him, and by the time he glanced out the window, it was already dark. Taehyung helped him collect the spent dishes and utensils and even offered to wash them, but Seokjin insisted that he should head outside and enjoy the night sky and told him he would be following him afterwards. Eventually, he agreed, gathering a large picnic mat Seokjin left out.

The moment Taehyung stepped foot outside was the moment he knew Seokji. Was right, it was even more breathtaking at night. The dark skies did nothing to deter the warmth that was brewing from the cold air. There was an unobstructed view of the sky, clouds baring tales of their own, holding secrets which only the darkness possesses. There was a quiet stillness, mysterious yet calming, Taehyung wanted to bask in it as he took slow steps finding the perfect spot to spread the mat on. After walking past rows of strawberries, he found an untouched piece of land and decided that it was the quintessential spot to watch the clouds go by. He laid the mat as flat as he possibly could given the rocky surface, sprawling his legs on top of it, Taehyung rested majority of his weight onto his arms as he took in the night view. There were crickets and other insects buzzing around, it didn’t seem to take away the beauty of being amongst something so serene. A few minutes later, he could hear footsteps approaching him, inclined him to turn his head even though he knew who it was.

“Hi. Should’ve let me help you clean up, you would’ve been done quicker.” He cited out, offering Seokjin a small smile.

Seokjin shook his head. “Nonsense. I didn’t bring you up here to wash dishes. If anything, it’ll help you relax.”

Taehyung wanted to intercept and comment on how he thought Seokjin needed it more since he seemed to be on edge ever since he invited Taehyung here, but decided not to ruin the mood for the both of them. In Seokjin’s hands was a porcelain bottle that looked to be stored for quite some time, he shook the bottle, showing it to Taehyung before taking a seat beside him.

“Its Shochu, looks like my uncle left a bottle behind. Its distilled spirits made from vegetables and grains, but don’t let that fool you since this can really pack a punch.”

With a sly smirk, Taehyung replied. “Well, aren’t you a walking Wikipedia of anything and everything related to Japan?” Giggling before admitting that it was just a joke. “I was kidding. You’ve been so uptight lately, thought you could use a few giggles.”

“Have I? Sorry, didn’t mean for it to come across that way.” Seokjin’s tone was somber as he looked into the distance, eyes casted in a faraway glance. His side view profile was gorgeous, Taehyung could feel himself hitch a breath as he gazed at it way longer than he intended. He craned his neck back up to return his attention back to the stars blanketing above him.

“What do you think happens to us after our time on earth is over?” Seokjin suddenly asked.

Rather than finding the odd remark grim, Taehyung could only assume that this place held a lot of nostalgia for Seokjin, especially after his grandmother’s passing.

“I’m not too sure. My beliefs are all over the place at the moment so I’m not too confident about giving a solid answer.”

The sound of Seokjin’s body hitting the ground as he laid his back flat on the mat could be heard, he let out an audible sigh as he struggled to find a position wherein his legs could be shielded by the blanket but eventually gave up since his legs were way too long for it.

“I personally believe that we become stars, as silly as it sounds.”

“I don’t think it sounds silly.” Taehyung laid down as well, shifting all his weight to his side so he could be directly facing Seokjin. It was too intimate, too close, yet Taehyung remained as he was.

The corners of Seokjin's lips lifted upwards, the luminous sparkles coming from the stars had always been a source of comfort for him, yet for tonight maybe it was Taehyung’s presence that provided him with the most comfort. “I miss her a lot.” He whispered out.

Taehyung has never lost someone close to him before, so treading unfamiliar territory was daunting to say the least. But at the same time, he felt like he needed to say something. “The brightest, most magnificent star up in the sky tonight, I’m sure that’s her. And it doesn’t matter if you don’t see that particular star every night, it’s just there. Watching over you. She’s always watching you, Seokjin, I’m sure of it.”

Seokjin had to forcefully swallow a large lump on his throat, he told himself that he wouldn’t cry tonight. He initially brought Taehyung out here to soothe his worries, and crazily enough, turns out Taehyung was the one who was capable of diminishing Seokjin’s. “Thanks Taehyung. I wish there was more I could say that a meager thanks, but I’m glad I met you.” He wanted to say so much more, but was gathering the courage to do so. He sat up for a bit, an attempt to hold back the tears as he took a big swig out of the bottle in hopes that it would do something to ease his emotions a bit.

“I’m glad I met you too.” The minute those words escaped him, the more convinced Taehyung was that he was feeling more than he should. It was a whirlwind of emotions that took him over by storm. Too much, too fast. Disregard the fact that he was aware of the bitter truth that he had the tendency to fall in love with people, and even things, too quickly. Something in him told him that with Seokjin, it was fine, but this did little to chase away the doubts and fears that came with these surge of overwhelming emotions.

A strong gust of wind sent chills down Seokjin’s spine, causing him to involuntarily quiver a bit before he took another sip out of the bottle. “Want some?”

Taehyung sat up, grabbed the bottle by the neck and noticed at how the mouth of the bottle was glistening, still coated with the moisture Seokjin’s lips left behind. He wanted to reprimand himself for these unwanted intrusive thoughts that revolved around Seokjin’s lips.

If only those lips weren’t as comparably luscious to the strawberries Taehyung had handpicked earlier..

He winced as he shut the rest of his thoughts out and gulped down more than he intended, the burn that followed served as a consequence for letting his mind wander off again. Silence enveloped them before Seokjin let out a loud gasp followed by a blaring remark.

“A shooting star! Taehyung! Look!” Pointing out to a very evident glowing object moving across the sky.

Taehyung released a loud gasp of his own, it was rare to witness shooting stars where he was from since the city had too many distractions that concealed the sky’s beauty. “Quick! Make a wish.” He shut his eyes and clasped his hands together, fervently wishing for something and Seokjin began to mimic his actions, also having one desperate wish in mind as he placed his hands together.

Taehyung peeked one eye open to witness Seokjin still ardently wishing, the image of Seokjin looking so childlike made him smile and so he let Seokjin finish his wish without disturbing him.

“That must have been some wish. Or did you have a long list of wishes?” He joked.

“Nope. Just one.”

The general rule of making wishes is to never ask for what somebody else had wished for in fear that it might interfere with its chances of coming true. But Taehyung couldn’t help but be curious enough to ask directly.

“Are you going to tell me what you wished for? You don’t have to of course, I was just curious.”

Seokjin, who still had his neck raised, hair getting blown by the wind, still looking every bit as celestial as the stars above.

“Will you tell me yours in exchange?”

Shrugging since it was a wish Taehyung wished for more often than not, he decided that there was no harm in saying it out loud. It wouldn’t increase or decrease its chances of happening anyway.

“I wish for what I always wish for, change. I feel like a positive change is something I need in my life. Especially now.”

Seokjin didn’t ask any further.

“What about you?”

Wetting his lower lip with the tip of his tongue, Seokjin contemplated whether he should lie, but quickly realized that it would be unfair to Taehyung who allowed himself to be vulnerable at the moment. His initial reaction would be to keep his guard up at all times, but at the same time the protruding thought of what if plagued his mind. What if for once in his life he let his guard down and like Taehyung, allowed himself to be vulnerable? Susceptible to feelings? The mere fact that he was considering it gave him the answer he was seeking for.

“Courage. I wished for courage.”

“It took you that long to wish for one thing?” Taehyung teased. “Courage for what?”

Despite the cool air, Seokjin felt immense heat. He was nervous, for more reasons than one. His fingers clawed at the blanket below him, crumpling it’s fabric as if to release his anxiety and doubts by doing so. Under countless stars, one possibly being his grandmother, Seokjin decided that only he had the power to manifest his wishes and turn them into reality.

And so he did.

“To do this.”

Shaky hands ever so gently grazed Taehyung’s jaw, his index finger faintly lifting Taehyung’s chin up as he closed his eyes and conceded to something he’s been meaning to do. Their lips met and it was an indescribable feeling.

Free. He felt free. Weeks of battling with his inner thoughts and in this precise moment, Seokjin wondered why a battle even occurred in the first place. He knew that this was something he wanted to do, a risk he wanted to take.

He doesn’t know how long he kissed Taehyung, only the feeling it brought. Slowly, he pulled back, catching a glimpse of how Taehyung was left in a daze. He also needed to take a breather and organize his thoughts that were left in a disarray after managing to pull off such a bold move.

“I.. I’ll be inside.” Realizing that it was a dumb move but it was something he needed to do, he abruptly stood up, attempting to conceal the heat on his cheeks before sprinting back to the house.

Taehyung was stunned, barely moving an inch after being so brazenly kissed in possibly the most romantic way he’s ever experienced. Having only dated assholes, it wasn’t any wonder that Seokjin would be the one to take things up several notches and set the bar so high that it would be next to impossible to follow. Unconsciously, his fingers ghosted over his lips. Lips that had Seokjin’s pressed against a few minutes ago. He knew he liked Seokjin, daresay it was more than like at this point, but that kiss really cemented things for Taehyung.

He was falling for Seokjin. And at the rate he was going at, it was out of the question to stop or even slow things down.

If anything, it felt right. The right person at the right time. The one connection that didn’t feel forced.

Seokjin made the first move, now the ball was at his court and it was up to Taehyung to decide on how things would progress moving forward. He knew he had a ticket with a return date that was steadily approaching, but his feet picked up the pace as he rushed back inside the house. Practically panting with one hand resting against the doorframe, Seokjin was sitting on one of the stools at the dining area, alarmed to see Taehyung all flushed.

“Hi.” He awkwardly mouthed, not really knowing what to say after kissing Taehyung and running away quite literally.

Still in the process of regulating his breathing, Taehyung responded as he took a few steps closer to where Seokjin was. “Hi.”

In the midst of his muddled thoughts and the rush that came with being kissed with every ounce of want for the first time in a long time, Taehyung brushed all of his uncertainty aside and was now towering in front of Seokjin who was looking back up at him. Time may not be on his side, but Taehyung wanted to make good use of whatever time he still had. He bent down, just enough to reach Seokjin’s level, and Taehyung just went for it. Unlike their first kiss, it was now laced with the eagerness and desperation their first one lacked. The tempo was set, and fortunately, Seokjin was feeling the same amount of recklessness Taehyung was. Large hands cupped Taehyung’s head, pulling him closer until Taehyung had his legs spread apart, trapping Seokjin's in the middle as he used it as his cushion. Taehyung wasted no time in tugging Seokjin’s neck, afraid that an ounce of distance between them would separate them. Subtle pecks trying to get a feel of things soon escalated into torrid kisses filled with despair that only the latter could vanquish. Taehyung found himself sitting on top of Seokjin’s legs that were now spread apart, stretching his own legs even further. They angled their heads, no amount of coordination was exerted, they just wanted to get their fill however possible. Fingers that were anxious to touch Taehyung were soon placed behind his head, fistful of locks entangled in them. Several moans were released in the middle of open mouthed kisses, tongues clamoring in a winless skirmish where there was inevitably no loser. The legs of the wooden chair screeched against the floorboard as the kisses began to intensify, and as much as Seokjin would be thankful to have Taehyung in any given location, anyfuckingtime, he decided that Taehyung deserved so much more than to be ravished on a kitchen floor. Using the strength in his arms, he lifted Taehyung up which inclined him to wrap his legs around Seokjin for further support as he was carried towards an empty bedroom.

Given the traditional style of the home, there were tatami mats on the floor rather than elevated beds. He gently lowered Taehyung on the mattress, eyes piercing into his. This was a silent declaration that there was no backing out of this now,. Sensing his hesitation, Taehyung snaked one arm around Seokjin’s neck, tugging him down to capture his mouth. It was his way of letting Seokjin know that it was mutual, that he wanted this too. They picked up where they left off, devouring each other, getting accustomed to how the other tasted and how addicting the taste could get.

An unfamiliar high, Taehyung never wanted to go back down again.

The way Taehyung’s shirt was slightly opened up was enticing enough for Seokjin to temporarily abandon his lips and chase after his neck instead. Delicately sucking on his supple skin, earning moans and gasps in return. With one hand, he unbuttoned all the way down until his fabric gave way to Taehyung’s exposed upper body, Seokjin got lost in the way his chest slowly rose up and fell with each breath he took. His hands played with the waistband of Taehyung’s jeans, middle finger seductively slipping under the band, exploring. Gripping the red sheets beneath him, Taehyung was panting, wanting more.

“Seokjin.” He moaned out, hoping that his moans of desperation would get him somewhere.

“Are you sure you want this?” He asked, just to be sure. Seokjin didn’t want to feel like he was pressuring Taehyung into doing something he didn’t want. It was a situation he’s never found himself in before, he was constantly doubting his actions despite Taehyung reassuring him.

Taehyung nodded, long black lashes fluttering in the darkness, leaving a mark in Seokjin’s memory which he knew he would look back on in the future. The way Taehyung’s unruly hair was fanned against the scarlet red sheets they found themselves on, it was as if Seokjin was creating mental Polaroids of this very moment. The moment Taehyung was yearning for him in the same manner he was. He took the image in, staring until he had convinced himself that he would keep this very moment in his memory.

He dove back in to kiss Taehyung again, wondering if tonight’s magic will carry over to the next day, something Seokjin wasn’t ready to deal with just yet. Their tongues danced around each other, Taehyung hurriedly discarding his pants as well as his underwear. He was naked, but his vulnerability had nothing to do with the fact that he was physically naked in front of Seokjin. Taehyung was letting Seokjin in, both figuratively and in a few moments, literally. Coming from a relationship that resulted in him getting his heart torn to shreds, this was quite terrifying.

Seokjin let out a low whistle at the sight of Taehyung, making him giggle as he tried to hide his embarrassment. “I’ve always thought that you were the most beautiful man ever since you walked into my restaurant, but seeing you here.” His eyes unabashedly guzzled down the sight before him. “Like this. You’re beyond beautiful, Taehyung.”

Taehyung giggled as he chewed on his bottom lip, flustered in every aspect of the word. None of the men he had previously dated ever showered him with compliments. Maybe Jimin was right. Maybe he only dated assholes. “Please stop, I’m getting shy.”

“Stop being so beautiful then.” Seokjin teased before trailing his kisses lower and lower until he reached his navel. He sucked on Taehyung’s prominent hip bones, mewls were bouncing off the enclosed space they were in, while Taehyung’s nails dug into Seokjin's shoulders. With a delicate grasp on his legs, Seokjin’s pushed Taehyung’s inner thighs to the back until he had both feet plastered on the ground, legs spread wide open. Being so exposed like this would make anyone embarrassed, but since it was Seokjin, Taehyung didn’t mind. With both hands gripping on either side of his inner thighs, Seokjin gave it a little squeeze before deftly licking on Taehyung’s entrance. The subtle links were ticklish, making Taehyung giggle, but his giggles soon died down when Seokjin got the hang of it and those subtle links turned more aggressive. He hungrily sucked, licked and darted his way in, causing Taehyung to lift up his bottom half more than he could count. He was melting into a pool of arousal, moaning out Seokjin’s name as if he wasn’t an awkward mess just a few moments ago. Once he deemed the entrance wet enough, Seokjin began inserting one finger in. Diving in and out a few times and watching Taehyung’s reaction to it. He inserted another finger, and witnessed how Taehyung’s reaction reached new heights in lieu with the pleasure he was experiencing. Wanting to see how far he could go, Seokjin inserted another one, fishing around for a particular spot. After a couple of tries, Taehyung's high pitched moans accompanied by his unsteady breathing told him that he found it. Taehyung was nearly sitting up from the paramount surge of pleasure, barely able to contain it. Seokjin continued to thrust his fingers in and out, even circulating the tip of his fingers to tease Taehyung. The lust was all too consuming, he felt his sweat trickle down the side of his head, breathing labored as he tried to deal with the overwhelming arousal. Seokjin hadn’t even laid a finger near his crotch area yet Taehyung felt like he was on the brink of explosion.

“I c-can’t.” He finally panted out, nails dug so deep into Seokjin’s skin he was afraid he was about to draw blood.

Fortunately Seokjin sensed that Taehyung was at his wits end, reluctantly holding on. He carefully withdrew his fingers, and Taehyung forcefully pulled on the collar of his shirt, hungrily lapping his tongue against Seokjin’s as he lowered him until Seokjin tumbled back on top of him. It was sloppy and frankly a mess, and honestly, it was perfect. Taehyung helped Seokjin get rid of his clothes and tossed them aside, now it was his turn to salivate over the milky white skin and the chiseled body Seokjin had been hiding all along.

“You’ve been hiding this from me the entire time?” He choked out in disbelief.

“Was I supposed to undress during our first meeting? You would have probably been on the first place back to Korea.” Seokjin sassily retorted with a chuckle. He’s always been health conscious and took care of his body, so it was nice that he had somebody as gorgeous as Taehyung appreciate his hard work.

“Don’t lay back down just yet.” Taehyung got on his knees, eyes blatantly ogling how gifted Seokjin was in that department. It was intimidating but at the same time, Taehyung couldn’t wait to feel him. Timidly laying his tongue flatly on the tip of his cock, he began warming it up which had Seokjin already shutting his eyes as he let out inaudible moans. His tongue encircled the tip, darting on to the slit before gliding down the base.

“Holy sh--..” Before Seokjin could even curse out loud, Taehyung took him in one swift swoop, Seokjin’s words were replaced with a grunt but judging by the way he was harshly clutching the back of Taehyung’s head, he was thoroughly enjoying it.

Taehyung continued to consume him, choking a bit but never relenting. With glassy eyes he looked up to see Seokjin immersed in the pleasure of it all, giving him the same amount of arousal in return. Being one who felt fulfilled whenever he knew he was doing good, Taehyung aimed to please. And with the lewd and boisterous moans Seokjin was letting out, he was for a fact, pleased. Beyond immeasurable doubt. His head bobbed up and down, throat almost swollen with how much Taehyung was taking in. He took breaks in between, gasping up for air as he ended each session with a resolute ‘pop’. Hallowed cheeks aching, yet Taehyung was bathing in Seokjin’s moans, felt pride knowing that he was the sole reason behind them.

Seokjin gently nudged him, imploring him to stop so he did, as he delicately pushed Taehyung back towards the mattress. He hovered above him, leaving compliments in between kisses. Seokjin made it a point to let Taehyung believe just how beautiful he was in his eyes. Not being new to this, Taehyung lifted up his lower half, giving Seokjin easier access. Inch by inch Seokjin breached his entrance, and in contrast to how he was handling Taehyung with every ounce of care and consideration, the fiery heat was apparent in his eyes. There wasn’t a second wherein Taehyung doubted just how badly Seokjin wanted him. He fully penetrated his way in with a loud grunt, Taehyung could feel his insides clamoring. The heat in his touches was a fiery fit Taehyung never wanted to extinguish. It started off slow, Seokjin really making Taehyung feel like he was making love to him. Regardless of the heated gazes and lewd words mouthed out, Taehyung felt so much. Their touches whispered out loud words they’ve never gotten across. He picked up the pace, eyes never leaving Taehyung’s, they were practically locked the entire time. It was so much more than sex and the both of them knew it. The passion in their bones could differentiate it. Taehyung craved for Seokjin more than he ever has with anybody else. With each breath Taehyung took, Seokjin effortlessly took it away. Each touch left embers in its wake, Taehyung was being scorched but it paled in comparison to how he was engulfed in flames from within. Time seemed to be nonexistent as their bodies merged into one, they were lost in each other that they lost track of how it ended. At one point, they released and sweaty bodies fell on top of each other.

There were multiple scratch marks on Seokjin’s body, and Taehyung had striking red splotches all over his neck and chest. A testament to the night they had.

Sex was the easy part. Now came the hard part, the part Taehyung was dreading the most, unpacking everything that happened. He didn’t regret it, not one bit. Seokjin flipped to his side and was facing Taehyung, basking in the afterglow.

“Well, that was something huh?” It was an attempt at small talk. Taehyung replied with a small hum.

“I.. don’t know how else to say this.” Taehyung felt his heart constrict for a nanosecond, terrified for what was coming next. “I guess I just need to say it. I think I’m falling for you, Taehyung.”

Taehyung should have felt elated, over the moon and beyond the stars upon hearing this, but instead all he felt was an impending fear for what would come next.

“I think I am too.” He could’ve said that he knew that he was, but was extra cautious with his words. At least it came out as honestly as it could.

“You don’t know how happy that makes me. I can’t help but think that what we really have is special.” Seokjin cited, happiness dripping from his tone. And Taehyung felt it again, an unshakable amount of fear pushing aside the rest of his thoughts.

“I’ll be good to you, Taehyung. I promise. I’ll take care of you the way you deserve to be taken care of. You won’t regret this “ Seokjin added, and Taehyung turned his back to Seokjin because he felt it. The tears slowly escaping him. With the back of his hand he quickly wiped them away, but they just kept on coming. Seokjin had no idea and even draped his arms around Taehyung's waist, pulling him closer, blanketing him with the security Taehyung has been desperately searching for. But Taehyung couldn’t brush off his fear, he was beginning to doubt things. Himself. Maybe he had fallen in love way too fast. Seokjin kissed the nape of his neck, snuggling into it, causing Taehyung to secretly sob harder. At the back of his mind, he knew what he was about to do.

Once again, Taehyung was going to escape. Except this time he wasn’t running away from his problems, but he was possibly running away from his one real shot at happiness for reasons he couldn’t even begin to justify. Doubts he ever will be able to.

“Stay with me, Tae..” He whispered out before ultimately succumbing to sleep. Taehyung could feel his steady, even breaths on his back. He was a coward, but he knew he wasn’t equipped to deal with all this. He was so used to rushing into things: a new relationship, a new job, anything and everything. But things with Seokjin were too real. Seokjin wielded the ability to make Taehyung feel things he’s never had before, to the point that Taehyung couldn’t sleep a wink at night without conjuring up intrusive thoughts about Seokjin.

Seokjin held him in his arms as he slept,and if Taehyung’s fears weren’t the big, formidable opponent that it was, he would have stayed. The tears streamed down his face knowing damn well how badly he wanted to stay.

The scariest part was that he found somebody worth staying for, somebody worth leaving life as he knew it behind. But at the end of the day, Taehyung remained as a coward. He spent hours wide awake, battling with his thoughts, Seokjin murmured a few things in his sleep which made Taehyung’s decision even harder. As soon as he was convinced that Seokjin was deep asleep, he slowly lifted up his arm and untangled himself from Seokjin. With shaky hands and an even shakier heart, he gathered his clothes and booked the next flight out. Suppressing his cries when all Taehyung wanted to do was wail and beg Seokjin to ask him to stay once more just to persuade himself that he deserved to be happy, he fought back his tears and quietly made his way towards the door. He had one hand on the handle, Taehyung reminded himself that he didn’t deserve this, happiness wasn’t meant for him. He took one last glance at Seokjin's sleeping silhouette and his blurred vision reminded him that it was time to go.

“I’m sorry, Seokjin. I think I already love you.” He whispered to the night and began to make his way out of the house, telling himself that he couldn’t turn back. If he did, he knew was vulnerable and weak enough to run back into Seokjin’s loving arms. Taehyung recalls passing by a bus station a few miles back, it was dark outside and the least of Taehyung’s concerns was being robbed or assaulted. His heart felt heavier with each step. After walking for what seemed like a lifetime, he patiently waited for the bus.

He left the rest of his luggage, as well as his heart in Tokyo.

He cried his heart out as he sat on the tight space provided by the economy class section of the plane. Apparently his crying was too loud that Taehyung ended up apologizing to the exhausted man beside him that was previously snoring but couldn’t help but be rudely woken up by Taehyung’s loud wails. He was a mess.

The way Jimin’s smile faltered and how his excitement immediately vanished as soon as he laid his eyes on Taehyung was enough proof that not only did he feel like shit, he probably looked the part as well. Not thinking twice about it, Jimin leaped beyond restricted airport lines and ran as fast as he could to get to his friend. Before Taehyung could greet him, a pair of warm arms welcomed him back instead.

“Why the fuck do you look worse than you did before leaving?”

And Taehyung had no other answers for him, he felt as if he had hit rock bottom. Leaving the man of his dreams in the middle of the night was the worst possible conclusion he could have come up with. But then again, Taehyung was never a person people associated to good decisions.

“Because I fucked up, Jimin. I really fucked up this time.” Taehyung surprised himself by crying even more, he was convinced that he had already run out of tears during his flight back home. Apparently he was capable of producing more. If only he was capable of producing beneficial decisions instead. One that didn’t involve breaking Kim Seokjin’s heart. Oh how his heart ached at the image of Seokjin waking up only to realize that Taehyung had left the country.

“C-can we go?”

Jimin quizzically looked around. “Where are the rest of your bags?”

“I left them.”

That was enough to send off the alarms in Jimin’s head. Taehyung was an overpacker and would rather die than leave without bringing at least twenty unnecessary objects with him, and to find out that he fled in such a hurry that he left behind the rest of his belongings was already a cause for alarm. They rushed past people, Jimin practically shoving them out of his way and hurried back to Jimin’s apartment.

Taehyung hadn’t stopped crying since he left Seokjin. He was regretting it, regretted it the minute he made his decision and was aware that he would probably regret it every waking day for the rest of his life. He never believed I soulmates, Taehyung has always doubted their existence but as soon as realization hit that he was falling in love with Seokjin, he began to doubt his beliefs. Seokjin really made him believe that perhaps he was wrong all along, maybe Seokjin was his soulmate. Huddled in the furthest section of Jimin’s couch, Taehyung was inconsolable which left Jimin at a loss of how he would even begin to provide some solace for his friend.

“I’ll wait. You can tell me when you’re ready.” Placing one hand above Taehyung’s shoulder, he gave him a small squeeze. As well as a warm and fuzzy blanket and a cup of hot chocolate. With extra marshmallows and sprinkles, just because.

Taehyung doesn’t know how long he’s spent crying, and gave in to his exhausting a few times, falling asleep for a few minutes only to wake up and remember what he did. He cried until his ducts felt broken. Cried until his throat was parched. Cried until it eased even just a fraction of the pain he felt. Taehyung cried until he was finally unable to, staring blankly at an empty spot in Jimin’s living room instead. Unsure if an entire day has passed or how many hours dwindled by, Taehyung finally calmed down after the fatigue became unavoidable. Jimin curled up into a ball next to him, resting his head on top of Taehyung’s stiff shoulders. “Feel like talking now?”

Meekly nodding his head, Taehyung knew he needed to at least get it out of his system sooner or later.

“Where do I begin..”

He retold the events that unfolded during his short stay in Japan. From their first meeting up until the night of their passionate lovemaking. Taehyung made sure to not leave any notable details out, he even mentioned the first night he had realized that he had to be falling in love, yet this time, he wasn't rushing into anything but instead he was slowly falling head first into everything Seokjin was made out of. Steadfast and nothing short of magical. It was the kind of love Taehyung insisted he needed. His friend wasn’t hard to convince, he could tell the depth of Taehyung’s feelings by the way his eyes sparkled despite the puffiness whenever he mentioned Seokjin.

Then he asked the loaded question. The most pivotal question Taehyung presumably had no concrete answers to. “So, why’d you leave?”

“Because I felt like I needed to. I don’t deserve..”

“Nonsense. You’re just making excuses now. You left because you were scared, Tae. Because apparently this guy is unlike anyone you’ve ever dated before. Because maybe this guy could be the one and that scares you.”

Taehyung didn’t have a response to that since everything Jimin mentioned up to this point was spot on. Sometimes Jimin gave him the harsh reality check he needed, and Taehyung was thankful that at least he had one person in his life who could be brutally honest with him.

“I’m petrified, Jimin.” The cat was out of the bag. Deep down Taehyung had always known that his fears would get the better of him someday and he would end up sabotaging his first real chance at happiness. To have happiness within arms reach only to toss it back to where it came from, Taehyung only had himself to blame.

“You can always go back.” He reassured his friend.

Taehyung glared at him as if he was proposing the most ludicrous idea he’s ever heard. “I left him. In the middle of the night. After he confessed. After we had sex. How am I supposed to magically show up at his doorstep and say oops I made a mistake?” Then it really hit him, he screwed up. This wasn’t some minor error on his part either, it was an irreversible decision that came with consequences. His head hit the back of the sofa creating a loud thud as Taehyung sank further into the cushion wishing that the world would just swallow him whole and never spit him back out. The situation seemed bleak, and Taehyung had to deal with the aftermath of his decision.

Meanwhile in Japan..

The cold breeze caressed his bare shoulder, Seokjin had forgotten that he left one of the windows open. Sunlight managed to creep through one of the windows and make its way into the room. Forcing one eye open in search for the man he spent the night with jolted him wide awake instead.

He sat up, panicked. “Taehyung?” His voice was still hoarse from the night they spent. Frantically looking around the room, he noticed how Taehyung’s clothes were gone and so were his shoes. Chasing the remnants of his sleep away, he forced himself up and assumed that Taehyung was in the bathroom, or maybe in the kitchen.

But once he stepped outside of the room, his heart sank. There were no traces of Taehyung. He still called out for him, even searching in the strawberry fields as well as the meadow Taehyung had mentioned earlier but to his dismay, Taehyung was gone. It was like there was an unbreakable lump in his throat that he was forced to swallow.

Where did he go wrong? Seokjin thought that it was mutual, that this wasn’t some one-sided connection. He swears he felt how real it was. Taking a seat in the middle of the kitchen floor, he was left alone to dissect his thoughts. There were too many complex ones that kept interfering with one another but at the end of it all, the most pronounced one stood out like a sore thumb: Taehyung left.

It took him the entire day to persuade himself that either way he still needed to get back to the city, and by the time he hit the road, it was nightfall. Somehow the stars guiding him back had lost its glimmer, the world lacked it usual color. Fortunately he made it back in one piece despite absentmindedly driving

back in the middle of the night. His aunt was still behind the desk, like how she usually was and Seokjin got his hopes up for a second.

“Is he here?” God, even if his aunt didn’t know what was going on, Seokjin knew he sounded as pathetic as he looked. Hopeful with not much to hope for.

“Who?” Suddenly remembering the handsome Korean companion Seokjin was fond of. She seemed bewildered that he was asking her where he was when she knew for a fact that they took a trip together. “He hasn’t stopped by. But his belongings are still in his room.”

Taehyung could be checked in somewhere in the city, or worst, he could have flown back home. Seokjin had the daunting feeling in his gut that it was the latter. Was what he said or did so awful that Taehyung felt the need to rush back home? He was still beating himself over it. He forced out a sad smile that was neither convincing his aunt or himself, it was a good thing she didn’t probe any further.

He struggled to find sleep that night, understandably so, and tortured himself by replaying the events of that night. But in the end, Seokjin took solace in the fact that if Taehyung wanted to, he would. It was the only thought he had left to go on.

A week had passed by and Taehyung was still as miserable as ever. Before his impromptu trip to Japan, he could at least fake being a productive member of society. It was an entirely different story this time when he couldn’t even bring himself to try and fake it. Wholeheartedly engulfed in his sadness, he spent most days under the blanket, crying over what could have been. While Jimin had been understanding throughout his whole ordeal, giving him the time and space he needed to sort out his feelings, he had enough of it. If what they shared was as exceptionally life altering like how Taehyung described it as, then there was no doubt in his mind that this Seokjin fellow would give up just like that. He turned on the bright lights, ignoring the groan that came from Taehyung from under the sheets and tossed an envelope that he made sure would hit Taehyung.

“Oww. Min? What time is this? What did you throw?” He glanced at a pink envelope that had gold foiled cherry blossoms embossed on it, nearly tearing up since it reminded him of Japan once again.

Rolling his eyes since he reached a point where Taehyung’s antics didn’t amuse him any more. “Well tick tock, my friend. It’s time for you to get your shit together and salvage what you can.” If Taehyung was in no state to realize things on his own, then that was what Jimin was here for.

“Open it.” He instructed, his stern tone left no room for arguments or whining on Taehyung’s part.

Lifting up the flap, he pulled a thin paper from inside and found a one way ticket back to Tokyo. He looked up at Jimin, perplexed.

“You need to realize that it’s never too late, you can spend your entire life wallowing in your fears and crying over what could have been or you can go back and live with no regrets. I don’t want to see you regret things, Taehyung.” Giving Taehyung the structure and direction he’s been missing in his life, Jimin knew his friend well enough to know that sometimes all Taehyung needed was a little push in the right direction. Or in this instance, a one way ticket back to where he left his heart at.

Taehyung stared at the ticket until it no longer mocked him but instead became the final persuasion he needed to do the right thing. It baffled him how sometimes chasing after something you want didn’t need to be so complicated, sometimes it came in the form of a plane ticket and the mindset to do whatever it takes to chase after that goal.

“I don’t know how I can ever thank you..”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ve heard it all before.” Jimin waved his hand in the air, a smirk appearing on his features. “You can thank me by bringing that guy back home and introducing him to me. Might as well ask if he has a brother or a distant cousin that’s single.” He teased, finally witnessing the corners of his lips curl up. “Go get your man, Tae-ah.”

The trip back to Japan was filled with anxiety, Taehyung couldn’t stop tapping his fingers against the window, paying no mind to the annoyed passenger on his right who was probably a few minutes away from requesting a change of seat. Taehyung had to remain hopeful even if he wasn’t sure if Seokjin would even take him back, let alone, hear him out. He wasn’t even sure if anything he could say would justify his actions, but still, he wanted to try.

Seasons were bound to change, and inevitably, so were people. Taehyung fled at the first sign of happiness, yet he was waltzing into the same foreign country he escaped to with half-hearted hopes that the person he was returning home to would still be there. That he still had a home waiting for him.

After a bus ride, he found himself back within familiar surroundings. A less busier street that had children in their adorable yellow hard hats and massive backpacks walking to school. The small makeshift kiosk across the street was still selling freshly made dumplings. It seemed like the rest of the city was still going about things as usual. This was probably the most thick skinned Taehyung has ever been, but he entered the inn with a resolute determination to find Seokjin.

His aunt from behind the counter was surprised to see him again after a week of absence, he felt embarrassed that he even left his luggage behind.

“Oh? You’re back? Your overdue bill has been settled by my nephew.”

He winced upon realizing that he was in such a hurry to flee that he hadn’t even thought about settling his bill. As if it wasn’t already shameful enough to be showing up unannounced after breaking her nephew’s heart. Taehyung muttered out an apology and gave a deep bow. The drumming against his chest was more apparent than ever as he asked.

“Is Seokjin here?”

Again, she gave out a look of astonishment at the question. Noticeably reluctant on how she should proceed.

“Seokjin? He left Japan.”

The world as Taehyung knew it began to crumble down. Of course Seokjin wasn’t sitting on his ass waiting for Taehyung to eventually return. He blew his shot. Taehyung had already dug his grave and was now ready to lay in it. The tears flowed down before he could even prevent it from happening, he could see Seokjin’s aunt begin to panic at the sight of Taehyung turning into a mess yet again. She was about to run over towards the other side of the counter but Taehyung held up his palm to stop her. He didn’t deserve her kindness and concern, especially after learning about Seokjin’s departure.

“I..it’s okay. I need to go. Thank you so much for your hospitality.” He did two quick bows and ran out of the inn, ignoring how she yelled out for him reminding him that he was taking off without his luggage again.

He hailed the first taxi he saw and with quivering hands, took out his phone sent a quick text to Jimin saying how it’s over and booked the next flight back home. Slumping back into his seat, Taehyung wasn’t sure which spontaneous trip hurt more, the previous one or this one. Realizing that they both held different kinds of pain, both of which hurt just the same. The pain of letting go when he didn’t want to, and the pain of realizing that this time he had no other choice but to let go.

He looked like a lost child despite his tall stature in the airport, staring at a big lit up board containing multiple flight schedules. He had one hour left before his departure and spent his time sitting on one of the metal seats near his gate. He watched as people passed him by, and felt a sharp pain in his chest whenever couples passed him by.

That could’ve been me.

He had to stop himself from having another breakdown before his flight took off, he’s had plenty of those already. Not having the coherence to even select a seat for the flight, a friendly stewardess directed him towards a window seat in the furthest row at the back. It was probably the best thing that has happened to him in the past week, being the back row meant he could cry his heart out and not disturb as much people. Fetching a pair of shades he had stashed away in his satchel, he knew he was about to end up crying for the duration of the flight and decided to put them on, as well as the hood of his jacket up. Decked out in thick black rimmed sunglasses and a black hoodie, the sadistic thought that his attire matched how he was feeling came to mind. Taehyung would have chuckled at the coincidence if he didn’t feel like his entire world crashed and burned. He kept his head low with his arms crossed in front of his chest, hoping that it would serve as a signal to others that he wasn’t in the mood to interact with anyone. Taehyung felt comfortable enough to let his emotions out even before the plane had the chance to take off, concealing most of his features, he was certain that people wouldn’t mind hearing a few wails and sniffles erupting from him.

“Sir, this is your seat. I.. Umm.. Enjoy the rest of your flight.” Taehyung could hear the sound of heels moving further away.

He could feel the presence of another passenger entering the aisle he was in, but was too engrossed in his despair to feel a hint of humiliation or even the need to apologize in advance for causing a ruckus. He was unabashedly wiping snot from his nose using the back of his sweater, highly unattractive and deeply unstable to be doing such a gross act in public. A white sheet of tissue waved in front of him, and Taehyung was preoccupied enough to take it without thinking twice.

“T-thanks.” He whispered out without looking up, wiping the rest of his snot away.

“Let me apologize in advance because I’ll only get worse as the flight goes on. It’s just.. really difficult. I came back and he was gone and.. it’s all my fault.” He babbled on, unapologetic to unloading his dilemma onto a stranger he’ll probably never come across again. Taehyung could only pray that he was sitting beside an old man that will forget whatever incoherent phrases he may let out during the duration of the flight.

“Do you regret it?” The person beside him asked, there was a familiarity to his tone but Taehyung was in his right state of mind to figure out why it sounded as distinct as it did.

Instantly nodding his head, he let out another embarrassingly loud wail. “Every single day. I shouldn’t have left. I was too scared of finding love when I couldn’t even find myself. Wasn’t thinking straight. And now he’s gone.”

The person beside him went silent, and Taehyung didn’t think too much of it since he was an innocent passenger who didn’t sign up to be on the receiving end of mindless rants about his failed attempt at love and happiness.

“You better stop crying or I’ll be forced to kiss you here and get escorted out for public indecency.”

It caught Taehyung so off guard that he was instantly snapped back to reality and he was suddenly being forced to be made aware of his surroundings. With a snarky remark at the tip of his tongue, he lifted his head and was about to give the stranger beside him a piece of his mind about how he could exploit him in front of everyone on the flight and sue him for making sexual advances.

“Who the fuck do you..” His eyes turned wide as saucers, jaw dropping as the rest of his surroundings was at a standstill. Nothing else existed at the moment except for his swollen eyes and the man sitting beside him which he was one second away from cussing out for making sexual advances towards him. Turns out it was a person he didn’t mind receiving sexual advances from. The same dark brown gues he found himself getting lost in were staring back at him, and just like that, the world fell into place again.

A small smile provided tantamount comfort and reassurance. “Back in Japan so soon?”

“I came back to find you.” He honestly replied.

“Funny you say that, because I was on my way to find you.” A heavy weight was lifted the moment Seokjin uttered those words, and no, it had nothing to do with the rising air pressure from the plane taking off. Taehyung could honestly give two fucks about the angry stewardess shooting daggers with her signs for ignoring the safety sign and purposely forgetting to fasten his seatbelt. None of that mattered because Seokjin just told him that he was on his way to Korea to find him.

“I’m sorry, Seokjin. It was stupid of me and please know that it’s not what I wanted bit I did it anyway and I wish I could take back..”

A finger pressed up against his lips silenced him. “Sshh. It’s okay. After a while I realized that a connection like that couldn’t be faked. Sure, I questioned myself more times than I can count but I wasn’t ready to give you up just yet. I didn’t wish on shooting stars to not get you in the end, Kim Taehyung.”

Tears were brimming in his eyes, and Taehyung was partially convinced that he had about 25% of bodily fluids remaining after all the tears he’s shed. But this was the one justifiable moment amongst them all, they were happy tears this time.

“Do I have to cry again or are you going to kiss me?”

Seokjin chuckled, his laugh resonating across the back rows and the stewardess shot another nasty look towards their direction for causing another disruption and still not fastening their seat belts despite the angry blinking icon above them.

“No more tears, you’re home now.” Warm lips enveloped his, a thousand unspoken words laced in them. Except this time Taheyung didn’t have to fear about what he would do next when time was running out, he had time on his side this time.

Taehyung often wondered if the lost could really find their way back home again, and meeting Seokjin dispelled all those doubts. Maybe the reason why we get lost sometimes is to give way for others to find us again.

As Taehyung made out with Seokjin at the back of the plane heading back to the city he grew up in, he realized that perhaps he succeeded in more ways than one during his trip. Not only did he find himself, but he also brought home the missing part of himself that he was so desperately searching for. He concluded that he wouldn’t be making any more escapes anytime soon.