Work Text:
"Kim Dokja!" The man screamed out in annoyance, but the said male only grinned.
"What, are you admitting that it's true?" He teased him, and Yoo Joonghyuk's face got redder by the second. The taller one was ready to lash out at him, yet he didn't do it, when he felt a figure walking into him.
"Ah! I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings!" The feminine, very soothing voice exclaimed. Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk both looked at the woman. She had long white hair, which fell into her chest. Her face was beautiful, with a shining and fair complexion. Her eyes were shining even though they were black, she had the perfect nose many women would be fighting for, and natural slightly reddened lips.
She was wearing a white shirt and a tight pencil skirt, which only enhanced her feminine aspects. She quickly bowed down in 90°, waiting for the answer from the man she accidentally walked into.
"T-that, don't worry." Yoo Joonghyuk said while stutterin- wait, stuttering?!
Kim Dokja watched as the woman got up from the bow, and looked into his companion's eyes. He clearly could see how beautiful she is. And he could clearly see how Yoo Joonghyuk looked at her. Yoo Joonghyuk's mouth was slightly parted, and his eyes were slightly widened. A small blush was on his cheeks, but not so big that anyone other than Dokja who knew him for years could see it.
The white haired woman smiled sweetly and said in an apologetic tone, "Then, it was nice to meet you, um..."
"Yoo Joonghyuk," he quickly answered, which shocked Dokja even more, because Yoo Joonghyuk never told his name to strangers like that. Whenever someone fell into him and tried to start a conversation, he didn't even answer for so long, that the person just gave up and walked away after uttering an apology. However, this time, he said those two words with a voice even Dokja never heard.
The woman nodded her head. "Then it was nice to meet you, Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi. My name is Lee Seolhwa," she said while smiling and nodded her head to Kim Dokja too, at which he replied with the same action, still shocked and curiously watching the situation unfold.
Joonghyuk stared at her with Kim Dokja glancing at both of them, and at some point she finally left with a small "Goodbye," to which both Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja replied back the same. This action alone made Kim Dokja's heart clench, but he didn't gave it too much thought.
Yoo Joonghyuk's gaze didn't fall back into him, instead, he hazely stared at the grass in front of him after she left.
Kim Dokja gaze fell back into the younger's, as they just stood on the sidewalk with no one else in sight, but the fading away figure of Lee Seolhwa.
When he couldn't see her anymore, he finally exclaimed, "Sunfish, what was that?" He asked, and just then Yoo joonghyuk looked back at him.
"What are you talking about?" He replied in his once again typical cold voice, not the one he was talking to that woman. Only Dokja who knew Yoo Joonghyuk for years could see the difference between him talking to her and to others, to him. With her, even if it was for a small moment, his tone changed slightly. It was more of a calmed down voice of his, which was typically just cold and deep with everyone else.
Kim Dokja didn't understand why he had such a problem with what just happened, but he could only play with his t-shirt as he spoke to his friend.
"The way you talked and looked at her," he finally answered back, looking into Yoo Joonghyuk's deep black eyes.
The other man frowned and just raised his brow, still not understanding.
Kim Dokja could only sigh. "Nevermind, let's just go to Han Sooyoung. We're already late." He said, which made Yoo Joonghyuk nod, the frown on his face fading away, with them making their way to their friend's house
"Hey, was that sunfish ignoring you more than usual, too?" The witch called Han Sooyoung asked him one day in the school library before their next lesson.
He raised a brow at her, "What are you talking about?"
She sighed in annoyance and answered, "Like, he was normally a little bitch to me, but now I almost don't see him or don't have the chance to even speak to him. And many times when I go to his house, he isn't inside. Even if he has the right to go out, it's not normal for him. He normally is either with us, you or in his part-time job."
He thought about what she said for a moment, and he realised, that she's right. "Now that I think about it, yeah."
Han Sooyoung sighed in annoyance once again, "This stupid bastard. I texted him two days ago if he wants to go out with us to eat something," before she could finish the sentence, Kim Dokja interrupted her in the middle of it, "You just wanted him to pay for your meal." He said, but she side-eyed him, "Don't act like you don't want it too," she responded, at which he coughed embarrassed, so she continued.
"Anyway, as I was saying. I texted him and asked him about it, only for him to not respond to this very day. He didn't even seen the message."
"That is..indeed very unusual for him.." He said, and she nodded while opening a pack of chips she took from her schoolbag. "Yeah. I wanted to ask if you knew anything about it, but it seems that you don't."
He threw his head back, closing the book he was reading with a tab inside.
Now, he was really curious. Even if Yoo Joonghyuk was annoyed at them, he never ignored them for that long. And if he did, the longest he did was for a day, and even then he would see the messages they sent him, he just didn't respond. Now, that he thinks about it, he didn't see him for the past five days.
"Do you want to visit him at his work?" She asked after a moment of silence, but he shook his head.
"If we were to visit him while he was working, he wouldn't even talk to us. But I guess we can go and wait till his shift ends."
"You finally have a good idea, you squid," she bluntly said when she thought about his idea, which made him exclaim, "I always have good ideas!"
At which he got silenced by the librarian.
He lowered down his voice after it, and asked the black haired woman, "Then, today?"
"Nah, I can't. Have a project to do. Tomorrow?"
"Yeah sure. His shift ends at 8pm right?"
"Yeah," she responded while looking at her phone and putting her pack of opened half-eaten chips into her bag. "We should meet ten minutes before his shift ends and wait outside of the cafe."
He hummed, and the bell finally rang, so they parted their ways to go to their classes.
19.45
Witch
I'm here already
19.45
Im on the way
19.46
Get here quickly
my legs hurt
19.46
Not my fault you
stupid squid, suffer.
19.47
Kim Dokja mumbled some curses under his nose, but waited anyway for the woman to arrive. He was standing under the cafe in which Yoo Joonghyuk worked. It was the middle of autumn, so it was already quite cold with him not even bringing a jacket, because he thought that it will be hotter. Well, he was wrong, and he could already hear this witch's laugher once she'll find out of his misery.
He waited for a few minutes, with his head down, leaning against the wall and with closed eyes.
After some time he looked at his phone, and saw that it was already one minute past their agreed time.
He put his phone into his pocket when he heard the footsteps he knew were Han Sooyoung's. He looked ahead, and saw the said woman approaching him with her hands in her jacket's pockets.
"So, are we waiting here till his shift ends or are we going closer?" He asked her when she got near him. She shrugged and opened a lollipop, putting it into her mouth in a second.
"I guess we can wait here, we can approach him later when he comes out." She looked around, and pointed at the bench that was close to them. "We can sit here."
"Okay." He agreed, and they walked to the bench to sit on it.
They waited around twenty minutes, in that time, just in the first 5 minutes the rest of the customers that still were inside left the cafe, and the rest of the time was Yoo Joonghyuk probably cleaning and closing everything. The two finally saw the door of the cafe open, with Yoo joonghyuk going out, and Kim Dokja abruptly got up, with Han sooyoung, lazily a second later. When they were about to approach him, they noticed a white haired woman walking behind him.
Kim Dokja looked blankly at the scene, when his eyes widened slightly at the realisation.
"I didn't know that that sunfish had more friends." Han Sooyoung said after taking out the lollipop out of her mouth, clearly interested in the scene, and after a second looked at him.
"Do you know her?"
Dokja's widened eyes turned back to normal as he responded, "I remember that she walked into Yoo Joonghyuk when we were going to your house one day. She's the one I was telling you about."
"Hm.." she mumbled, putting the lollipop back to her mouth.
They watched as Yoo Joonghyuk locked the entry of the cafe and walked away while Lee Seolhwa talked to him.
Kim Dokja's heart clenched once again. He didn't understand that feeling, and why has he got it. It was like.. jealousy? Kim dokja quickly shook his head at the thought.
Sooyoung clicked her tongue. "How annoying. And I woke up from my nap especially to talk to this stupid sunfish just for it to not happen." She threw her head back in annoyance. "Well, do you want to go to my house? I won't fall asleep, and I have a story for you to edit."
Dokja sighed, but nodded, and so they headed to Han Sooyoung's house, with their failed mission in their minds.
Sunfish bastard
Hey Joonghyuk, I'm
waiting in front of ur door
7.28
Hey, u comin'?
7.32
Hyukkieeee
7.34
Nvm I'm
going alone
7.37
Kim Dokja looked at his phone screen in a little of annoyance, and after around 10 minutes of waiting and texting Yoo Joonghyuk, he just let out a sigh of annoyance, and left.
Before he could put his phone inside of his bag, he heard a quiet 'ding' of his phone, and opened it.
Sunfish bastard
I'm already at school
7.37
He raised his brow at the message, but texted the man back quickly.
Sunfish bastard
Why are you in school
that early??
7.38
He didn't get a reply.
Another days have passed, and he found himself again in front of Yoo Joonghyuk's apartment. Two months had passed since he had a proper conversation with the man. Yoo Joonghyuk barely responded to his messages, and never was home whenever he came. The same thing with Han Sooyoung, who told him the same thing when he asked her if she talked to Yoo Joonghyuk or anything.
However, Dokja didn't gave up, and instead came again. He rang the bell, and after a minute of waiting, he planned to go away, when suddenly the door opened.
His eyes widened at the sudden action, but smiled brightly. He finally saw Yoo Joonghyuk in front of his eyes after those two months and couldn't help but be happy. He didn't know why he was so happy to see his...friend, yet he was.
He opened his mouth, but Yoo Joonghyuk was faster.
"I have no time, Kim Dokja." He said and smashed the door right at his face.
He stared blankly with widened eyes and just stood there in utter shock. After like what felt like hours, he finally walked away and called Han Sooyoung to tell her what just happened.
"Me and Lee Seolhwa are together."
Yoo Joonghyuk said to both Kim Dokja and Han Sooyoung. Kim Dokja looked with widened eyes at the...at the couple in front of him, and he just felt his heart breaking. He didn't know why. He just didn't. However, it hurted him when he saw how Joonghyuk looked lovingly into Lee Seolhwa's eyes. He clenched his teeth, and tried to congratulate them, when Han Sooyoung lashed out.
"Are you serious? After ignoring us for almost three months, you came back just to tell us you have a girlfriend?!"
She exclaimed, and even when Kim Dokja wanted to say something to her, that she should be happy for them, he..felt that way too. He was mad at Yoo joonghyuk. He was ignoring both of them, not even responding to their texts, not even meeting with them in school, just to came into them in school randomly and say he has a lover.
If he didn't ignore both of them, they certainly...would be.. happy....for him, but it was a different case.
"Why are you so mad? I can love anyone I want." Yoo Joonghyuk said coldly while looking at Han Sooyoung, with Lee Seolhwa calming him down with patting his arm gently.
Han Sooyoung sighed in annoyance, "it's not about this. It's not about you not having the right to love someone. It's about the fact you didn't fucking show yourself in front of us for almost three months and didn't show any signs of you being alive to us at all! You were clearly ignoring us! And now you have the audacity to show yourself and say it like that? You didn't even want to meet with us to tell us that, it just happened occasionally, since we noticed you in the hallway first time since long ago!"
Han Sooyoung was enraged, but Kim Dokja didn't know how to calm her down, so he instead said awkwardly,
"Congratulations to you two.." and looked at Yoo Joonghyuk and lee Seolhwa. He could feel Sooyoung's glare at him, but she didn't say anything.
Joonghyuk nodded his head. "I will announce it to our friends in two days. I want us to meet in barbecue. I will send you the exact place later."
Kim Dokja clenched his teeth, but only nodded. "Then we'll meet later, you sunfish." And so, the couple left, and only Han Sooyoung and Dokja were left in the hallway.
"This fucking bastard..." Sooyoung murmured, "how can he not see.."
"Let's not talk about it.." He said, which sounded more like a whisper, even thought he didn't know what was she talking about.
All of a sudden, he coughed into his hand. He could feel his throat aching, but he let it be, thinking nothing of it, and coughed one last time before taking his mouth away from his hand. He didn't look at it, and just as he started to walk away, he looked behind st Han Sooyoung who just stood.
"Aren't you going? We have the same class." He said, but then Han Sooyoung harshly gripped his hand and looked at it. Just then he saw. Blood and a small amount of cherry flowers were on it.
Kimcom
Yoo Joonghyuk: Linus BBQ, be there on friday at 7
9.45
Yoo Sangah: Do you have something to say, Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi?
9.45
Yoo Joonghyuk: yes
9.46
Lee Jihye: AE U PANG MAER?
9.46
Lee Jihye: *ARE U PAUOM MASTER?
9.46
Lee Jihye: *ATE U PAUONG MASTER?
9.46
Lee Jihye: *ARE U PAYING MASTER?
9.47
Yoo Joonghyuk: no, bring your own cash
9.47
Lee Jihye: :((((
9.47
Lee Hyunsung: will be there!!
9.50
Jung Heewon: I should be able to come, I'll text y'all later because I'm not sure
9.51
Yoo Sangah: @Lee Jihye if you don't have any money, I can pay for you :)
9.51
Lee Jihye: @yoo Sangah I love you so much unnie :DD
9.52
Kim Dokja: I will not be
able to make it. My
boss wants me at work
9.57
Han Sooyoung: I'll be there but I may be late
9.59
Friday, 7o'clock, Linus BBQ
When Lee Hyunsung and Jung Heewon came inside the barbecue place, they didn't had to look around for long before noticing Yoo Joonghyuk. They approached the table he was in, when they noticed the woman who was sitting beside him. That honestly shocked them, because Yoo Joonghyuk didn't let anyone sit beside him apart from Dokja.
They could see she was quite nervous, but could mostly hide it. They greeted Joonghyuk, when Heewon decided to ask. "Who is she, Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi?"
The man looked at her with his as always cold eyes and answered. "I will say it later. That's the reason I wanted us to meet."
They both nodded at his answer and sat opposite of him and the white haired woman.
It didn't take long for Lee Jihye and Yoo Sangah to come. They greeted everyone, too being curious about Lee Seolhwa and sat down. They ordered their food with Yoo Sangah ordering something for Han Sooyoung who they know will be late and waited.
They were talking to each other, when Yoo joonghyuk suddenly exclaimed, "This is Lee Seolhwa, my girlfriend." The whole table became silent.
The four looked at each other with widened eyes, however Yoo Sangah realised the uncomfortable silence, and said, "T-that's great, Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi! Um, nice to meet you, lee Seolhwa-ssi!" She greeted her, at which the white haired woman nodded and smiled back at her.
Yoo Joonghyuk however, realised the earlier silence, and asked them, "What was that silence just now?" He asked, at which his friends avoided his eyes, not knowing what to respond, before Jung Heewon suddenly replied. "We were just shocked. To be honest, we thought you were dating Kim Dokja." Yoo Joonghyuk frowned upon her words.
"T-thats right, master. We all..thought you were dating ahjussi, so we were shocked that you brought here your..um, girlfriend."
"I wasn't, I'm not, and I won't ever date that squid." He said coldly, and every one of them could feel how the mood fell apart. It was silent in their table, and every one of them didn't dare to say anything, when finally the food came. Before any of them began to take their fill, Lee Hyunsung broke the silence. "But we still are happy for you, Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi. I'm sure Lee Seolhwa-ssi is a very amazing woman for you to date her." He said, and the uncomfortable silence stopped, at least for the couple. Yoo Joonghyuk grunted something under his nose, and they began to eat.
Even while eating, the four were looking at each other. As every one of them thought Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja were in a secret relationship, it was very uncomfortable for them.
Finally, the late Han sooyoung who came 30 minutes after the agreed time approached them and sat down beside Yoo Sangah.
She saw how lee Seolhwa looked at her, and she cannot blame her, since their first meeting was kinda uncomfortable. She greeted her friends, and began to dig in too.
She could however feel the uncomfortable silence that still filled the air and sighed at it.
I mean, she thought too that Yoo joonghyuk and Kim Dokja were dating, but it's not what matters now.
She honestly couldn't blame Lee Seolhwa for what happened, because it was not her fault, however she was mad at Yoo joonghyuk. The fact that they all thought he and Dokja were together said something, and it wasn't out of nothing.
Yoo Joonghyuk was a silent and secretive man. He and Dokja knew each other since kindergarten, with Han sooyoung who came into their life in elementary school. The rest of their friends, Yoo Sangah, lee Hyunsung, Jung heewon and lee jihye came later on. Yoo Joonghyuk, no matter what, was the closest with Kim Dokja. Well, they were too close. Yoo Joonghyuk was a man who hated too much close contact, yet not with Kim Dokja. The squid was often touching the sunfish in the way many people would say 'intimate'. Kim Dokja knew all of Yoo Joonghyuk's problems and thoughts. He mostly talked for Yoo Joonghyuk in a situation where he just didn't want to talk. He often too saved Yoo Joonghyuk from girls, who liked him and stalked him. He always responded to Dokja's messages or opened the door to his house to him, but it all began to fuck.
Han sooyoung herself didn't understand how did Yoo Joonghyuk fell in love. As she knew from the stupid squid, they first met around a three months ago, yet they're already together. Han Sooyoung could only sigh in annoyance at this. Their whole friend group (not counting Yoo Joonghyuk) knew that Kim Dokja fell for Yoo Joonghyuk, even if he himself didn't admit it.
When she looked while eating at them all, she too thought that she could make the whole meeting even more uncomfortable with talking about how the couple met a not so long ago.
Of course, some couples date after such a little time after meeting each other, but, it was not the situation with who they were talking about. Not even Lee Jihye who is like a little sister to Yoo Joonghyuk was close- close to him to know his every secret and thought. And then there is a woman who just appeared in his life and there is a possiblity that she knows more than Lee Jihye herself.
Han sooyoung became even more irritated at this, but didn't want to show it. To be honest, she didn't want to show herself here at all, but she knew that Yoo joonghyuk will be over thinking about the meaning of this, and will understand that it's because of her not wanting to see his girlfriend, especially after their last meeting.
She really didn't understand just why this all happened and how. But, even if she won't say it to him in the eyes, she felt bad for Dokja. Especially after him coughing out blood and cherry flowers out of his throat. To this very moment she looked around the internet to find about the cause of this, and she found out about the hanahaki disease. She really didn't want to believe it, because it's just not real, but...looking at the hopeless case of Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk, she was able believe it.
However, she was scared. Even if she doesn't show it, she does care for that squid bastard. And if what she thinks is real, she really doesn't want to lose him. Not over Yoo Joonghyuk. No. She just doesn't want that.
And finally, after all her tiring thoughts, she ate everything she had wanted, and said that she had to go, and left the barbeque place.
He was holding into the toilet hatch tightly. Tears were falling from his eyes, as he couldn't stop vomiting. Not the usual bile and digested food, but the red bloody liquid, with many types of flowers added to it.
Kim Dokja doesn't even know why and how this happened. It all started that day after Yoo Joonghyuk introduced him and sooyoung his..girlfriend, where he started to cough out the cherry blossom petals with a little amount of blood. He doesn't know how it came from this, to the point where he vomits out a massive amount of blood with a not so big but not so little flowers out of his guts.
He once again vomited.
His throat hurted like hell from the huge amount of blood and the long time of vomiting. He could feel that he'll pass out soon. But after this vomit, he stopped. He coughed one, two, three times out the small amount of blood and the little petals of flowers out and stopped. He didn't pass out, but he felt like shit. He looked in the mirror and at himself. His blood was around his mouth, his eyes were red from crying out from the pain, and some snot was leaking out of his nose.
He shakily tore off a piece of toilet paper and wiped off the snot and the blood out of his face. He wiped off his tears with his finger, and shakily, while holding onto the wall walked to his small bedroom. He fell into the bed when he finally got in.. He could still feel the blood in his mouth, but he was too tired to clean it out with water. Now, he just...he just wanted...wanted to sleep...
And so, months and later years had passed. Kim Dokja was vomiting almost every day, and the amount of blood and especially the flowers in it dramatically increased every time he saw lee Seolhwa with Yoo Joonghyuk. He really didn't know why. He was just...so tired of it. He never told anyone of this, and only Han Sooyoung knew, and only because of the first time this when she was looking. She sometimes talked about 'hanahaki disease', but he ignored her words and just joked about it, sayinf that it was only only time thing. He could however feel that she didn't believe him. Well, at least no one else knew, and he had no reason to tell them.
Since the time of the meeting he wasn't participating since he had to be in his job, his friends were giving him pitiful glares. He asked them about it, but they played around the bush and didn't give him the real answer. Well, he didn't plan to force them to answer him. Even if he wanted to know what was it about. From that very day when their friend group found out about Yoo Joonghyuk dating lee Seolhwa, almost no one was meeting up with Joonghyuk. And no, it wasn't because they didn't want to see him or were mad at him. No. It was because Yoo Joonghyuk himself said that he doesn't have any time. (Read; he will be with Lee Seolhwa)
This especially saddened Dokja. Yes, he often fought with Yoo Joonghyuk, but they spent almost all of their time together, and now, he barely replied to his messages. In school, they barely talked, because they were in different classes, and Yoo Joonghyuk suspiciously couldn't be found anywhere on the breaks.
It wasn't like that only with him, but with everyone else as well. They still met up, but with all the exams because of the last year in high school they got, it was really hard to met up as they all had no time. Well, maybe Lee Jihye, who was in her first year, but any one else couldn't.
However, Dokja felt much lighter than before. When he looked in the mirror one time, he realised how thinner he got. He was already thin to begin with, but now, it got worser. In the past, Yoo Joonghyuk was there to feed him and remind him to eat, (something that wasn't coffee or instant noodles), but now, it was left to him.
To be honest, most of the time, it would be Han sooyoung reminding him, sometimes someone else, mostly Yoo Sangah, but many times, even they couldn't because of their tense graphics, with Lee Jihye barely having her phone to remind him, because she was grounded because of something she did by her parents.
And so, when he looked at himself, he just...thought about how ugly he is. How, his straight, black carbonaceous hair with no shine looked dead. How his deep black eyes had no special shine that could make anyone like him because of them, and the barely average face of his. Nothing like lee Seolhwa. She looked perfect by Yoo Joonghyuk's side. Unlike Kim Dokja, wait, why was he thinking about such a thing?
Before he could answer himself, he lashed out to hold onto the toilet, vomiting out once again.
And so, another month has passed. Two years since Yoo Joonghyuk met lee Seolhwa. Now, he didn't ignore all of them like earlier, but he still prioritised meeting with Seolhwa. Whenever they asked him, he only gave one answer, "I'm going out with Lee Seolhwa." It was summer now, so their friend group already did all of their exams, which meant they could go out more. But, Kim Dokja had no strength for that.
The blood with flowers he was vomiting out didn't stop, but it didn't worsened. Whenever he saw Yoo Joonghyuk going out with Lee Seolhwa, he felt like if he would vomit. He wanted to go to a doctor's, but he had no money for that. He barely met ends meet. Of course, he could've asked his friends, but..he just didn't want to borrow money from them, knowing that they have to pay for their own life.
One time, Kim Dokja met Yoo Joonghyuk while he was on a date with Lee Seolhwa. Yoo Joonghyuk was smiling brightly. Something he didn't do with them, with..him. When he looked at them, he felt...jealously? I guess he can say that. He felt..jealous of Seolhwa, and that Yoo joonghyuk smiles like that for her. He never showed this kind of expression with Kim Dokja. He always had that cold expression that mixed with annoyance. They knew each other for years, yet, Yoo Joonghyuk seemed more comfortable with Lee Seolhwa who he met barely two years ago than with him.
Truth to be told, it made Kim Dokja sob when he was alone in his room at night.
Yet, he couldn't do anything about that. No, he didn't want to do anything like that. He was..really jealous even though he didn't know why, but...he couldn't bring himself to say it out loud. He just, watched as they kissed with Yoo Joonghyuk's eyes bright like the stars themself, and couldn't bring himself to say anything. Yoo Joonghyuk was happy with Lee Seolhwa, and he didn't want to ruin it because of his jealousy.
Sunfish bastard
Come to my house
12.34
What happened?
12.34
Just come
12.35
And so, after not meeting with Yoo Joonghyuk for months, especially not with Yoo Joonghyuk's invitation, he made his way to Yoo Joonghyuk's house. To be honest, he was quite happy, as it was their first meeting for that time, and arranged by Yoo Joonghyuk himself.
He found himself in front of Yoo Joonghyuk's apartment, and knocked three times.
He waited for a while, when he finally heard the footsteps of the man.
And in just a moment, the door were opened by Yoo Joonghyuk. Kim Dokja wanted to greet him, but he realised how he looks. Disheveled hair, red eyes, a little bit of snot under his nose, and dry lips.
Kim Dokja's eyes widened, when Yoo joonghyuk pulled him into his apartment. He already knew that Yoo Mia, Yoo Joonghyuk's sister was in her friend's house, so they were alone.
He watched as Yoo joonghyuk locked the door, and without waiting for him, went to sit on the couch.
"..What happened to you?" He asked after a moment of silence. Yoo Joonghyuk didn't even spare him a glance. "Lee Seolhwa and I fought."
Ah, yes. Of course it'll be about her.
Kim Dokja sat next to Yoo Joonghyuk and started to caress Yoo Joonghyuk's head. Joonghyuk snuggled into his hand.
Dokja could only think about one thing. What happened that the Yoo Joonghyuk cried that much and showed himself so vulnerable to Kim Dokja? Yoo Joonghyuk never cried, and if he did, he didn't tell anybody about this and just suffered in silence. Yet, here he is now, snuggling into Kim Dokja's hand looking vulnerable as never.
"What did you fight about?" Ha sked, but got no answer back.
He honestly doesn't know how he got himself into this kind of situation. He was just trying to comfort Yoo Joonghyuk, and yet here he was, getting fucked by the man.
"Y-yoo joo-joonghyuk- a-ah!" He moaned out. Yoo Joonghyuk was thrusting into him roughly, not caring about Kim Dokja's wellbeing. He was keeping him in place by holding his hands above Dokja's head. He could feel he'll get bruises of his hands later, but didn't care about it now. He was crying out of pleasure and could not stop moaning Yoo Joonghyuk's name.
Joonghyuk however was just thrusting while sometimes grunting out some quiet moans. His big dick was just going in and out of Kim Dokja's hole for who knows how much time already.
Finally, he let out a loud moan and threw his head back, when he finally climaxed. Yoo Joonghyuk could feel Kim Dokja clenching around him, and so not longer after that, he came into his hole, filling him up, too.
They both were breathing heavily, when Yoo joonghyuk hugged him. The impact was that his dick went even deeper inside of Kim Dokja, at which he shuddered and moaned.
"..Lee Seolhwa.." He heard Yoo Joonghyuk murmur into his ear, with his arms hugging him around his waist. He could feel his world breaking, and he tried not to cry, but he just realised.
He was just a replacement for the time being.
After Yoo Joonghyuk fell asleep, he gently took out of his dick out of his hole with a trail of his cum going out of it. He felt the what's left of his cum in his hole leaking out, but he didn't care about it right now. He tried not to cry, but he couldn't. It started with a small drop of tear from his eye, ending with him sobbing out trying to be silent to not wake up Yoo Joonghyuk. He watched as Yoo Joonghyuk's chest was rising gently, and he just couldn't.
He looked around Joonghyuk's room for his clothes, and when he found them, he quickly wore them, took his things and ran out of his apartment. It was dark at night, and even if the lanterns were shining, he could barely see anything because of the tears in his eyes.
However, it didn't last long till he found himself in some bushes, vomiting his heart out.
He doesn't know how much time has passed, but he could see how much blood and flowers there were. He only cried harder at this and at the pain it made him feel in his throat and stomach.
He really wanted it to stop, but didn't know how to. He didn't even know what to do anymore.
And so, he felt even more heartbroken when he found out the next morning that Yoo Joonghyuk and lee Seolhwa made up.
Han sooyoung looked at him and sighed. "You're really hopeless."
"What are you talking about?"
"We all can see something happened." She answered without looking at him. "So, what's up?" She asked, but he didn't answer. It's like if he couldn't utter a word, but she was suspiciously patient.
"Me and Yoo Joonghyuk fucked."
"What." She looked at him with widened eyes after she blurted this one word out. The uncomfortable silence emitted, but he didn't have to worry about anything since they were alone in Han Sooyoung's house.
He sighed hopelessly, "I went to his house because he suddenly invited me. I don't even know when we started to do it. And.." He stopped. He felt so dry in his mouth, and he felt like crying. He could feel the tears already falling from his eyes, but Han sooyoung didn't question it, nor did she interrupt him. "In the end, he uttered out her name. I was just a replacement." He couldn't hold it in anymore, and he sobbed out with the woman beside him.
Han sooyoung cliched her tongue.
"You're really hopelessly in love."
He looked at her while crying, "Wha- i-im not in love with that sunfish.."
She raised a brow, and patted him on his back. "You're really hopeless." She sighed, but he could feel she was too annoyed at the situation."We all can say that you love him. We see the fucking way you look at him. There's no way you don't love him."
"I don't-" He tried to argue with her, but then he actually thought about the situation. Only more tears fell from his eyes. He thought about every time he was jealous of Lee Seolhwa, how he compared himself to her, how he wanted to be in her place, how he wanted to be the one to see Yoo Joonghyuk's sincere laugh and smile. It clicked, and he felt hopeless.
"I..do, love him." He admitted, more to himself than to Han Sooyoung.
"Hana..haki disease?" He asked out.
"Mm," Han sooyoung hummed. "After the first time you coughed out blood with those flower petals, I looked up this on the internet. I thought that your idiotic self just ate some poisonous flowers or something, but now I realised that it's not the case." She admitted to him. "I really didn't know how to talk with you about this, but looking at you looking half dead, I had to say this." She said while staring at dokja. The summer already ended, their whole friend group went to different university's a year ago. Only Jung Heewon and lee Hyunsung went together, with Yoo Joonghyuk following Lee seolhwa somewhere and the rest going to their own's. Lee jihye being in her third year of high school.
Since the summer, their group didn't really meet more, with Yoo Joonghyuk being more absent than being with them, but still. Since the start or his relationship with Lee Seolhwa, he finally started to write to them more, but it wasn't the same. Kim dokja felt, like if they...just weren't the same as in the past. They all could feel it, but Kim Dokja the most.
He no matter what was still throwing up flowers with blood, it continued till Han Sooyoung found out about this and started this conversation. Since their third year in high school, he looked worser. He had big black circles under his eyes, even bigger than before, which said something, and his skin was even paler, that it looked abnormal. His lips were dry and cracked, and he was constantly biting his nails. Someone were to find out sooner or later, and with him going out with Han sooyoung more than with anyone else, of course she would be the one to do so.
"I looked up for some hospitals that could do anything about this, but they're unable to do so. The only thing that could save your life is..for you to stop loving Yoo Joonghyuk."
He looked down, and she sighed. "Ah, you're really a hopeless case." She said, but he could hear that her voice was sadder then usual.
Well, of course she would be if she were to find out her best friend would die just because he loved someone.
"To be honest, I really wonder what did that lee Seolhwa girl did for Yoo Joonghyuk to just fall in love with her in not even half a year month of knowing each other." Jung Heewon said while they were on a call, typically everyone but Yoo Joonghyuk.
"Yeah, master literally can't go away from her. He doesn't have any time to even talk with us anymore, and is always with her." Lee Jihye admitted.
"Ah, I honestly thought when we just met her that Han sooyoung made Yoo Joonghyuk prank us with him having a girlfriend." Lee Hyunsung shyly said at which the said woman screamed out some curses on him.
"Ah, now that I think about it, I heard something from Yoo Mia that their parents came back for them," lee jihye said, at which everyone let out a shocked "huh?!"
"What are you talking about?" Kim Dokja asked while being half asleep.
"I met with her while she got lost near my school, and she said that their parents went back for them. She didn't really said much but that if we want to know we have to ask Yoo Joonghyuk himself, but she said that their parents are some kind of businessmen."
Their phone call became silent, just for Jung Heewon to continue the subject. "Now that I think about it, I've seen some kind of announcement on the news that Yoo Seo-ah and Yoo Dong-hyun found their..lost children? Do you think it could be about Yoo Joonghyuk and Yoo Mia?"
Everyone let out a sigh.
Yoo Seo-ah and Yoo Dong-hyun's son, Yoo Joonghyuk is going to be wed to the leaders of Lee group's daughter! The two businessmen let out this announcement today morning, and said that the wedding will be just to their acquaintances.
It was the third year of university when Kim dokja saw it. Yoo Joonghyuk completely cut out of their lives, like if they, he didn't matter. Not that he said he didn't want to meet up with them anymore, but he responded to their messages like one times a month and never met up with them to the point where none of them but Kim Dokja and sometimes Han Sooyoung wrote to him, with him giving back short replies.
Of course, their group chat exploded with messages not long after the announcement was made. And you may ask, how did they all know so soon? Yoo Joonghyuk sent out a message to them, inviting them to his wedding and that he will sent them the formal invitations later. The hell broke out, and Kim Dokja's heart broke again.
First, Yoo Joonghyuk started started ignoring him, just for him later to date some random girl sooner than anyone would think, then they fought and he just went to him to fuck with him just to act like if nothing happened after all after making up with his girlfriend, and later cutting off almost all of their contacts and not meeting with them at all, just to a year later to have the audacity to send them the wedding invitations.
It definitely discomposed him even more than the other informations from years ago .
His chest clenched, and he already felt that he will see the bloody liquid with those petals he began to hate, very soon.
Just as Yoo joonghyuk wrote he will, he sent them all invitations to his wedding with Lee Seolhwa. Kim Dokja, Han sooyoung, lee Hyunsung, Jung Heewon, Yoo Sangah and Lee Jihye all were supposed to meet in one place, for Jung Heewon to drive them to the place.
They were all quiet, and the atmosphere was kind of uncomfortable. Han sooyoung let out a sigh, "Damn, don't be so quiet. It's uncomfortable," at which Lee Hyunsung chuckled lightly.
However, the silence didn't stop, as no one knew what to say, and, dokja felt even worser than before. He vomited those ugly, bloody flowers before meeting with them, and he still felt like doing so again, but didn't. He just looked down at his hands on his lap and was silent. Han sooyoung who was sitting next to him spared him a glance and herself looked back at her lap in silence.
After what felt like hours, they finally arrived at the church. They left Jung Heewon's car and made their way inside after showing the bodyguards their invitations. Dokja looked around, and saw that half of the church was already full, and so their whole group made their way into their assigned sits and just sat down in silence.
In no more than ten minutes, the whole church was full, and the only only that weren't inside were the soon married couple.
Finally, after what felt like eternity, the big bell rang, and the two made their way into the church, for all to see.
Kim Dokja couldn't let his eyes off of Yoo Joonghyuk. He was so mesmerising, to the point where he saw no Lee Seolhwa in the picture, even if she was the bride. His short black hair which he could see were shortened a little, the perfect, handsome face that would be perfect for a protagonist, those little reddened cheeks, and those black, immersive eyes of his. The suit was perfect for his large built of muscles, it fit just perfectly with the shoes he wore.
Kim Dokja didn't even realise when the couple finally kissed, and everyone clapped for them.
Yet, when he saw them, he just couldn't bring himself to do so. he wanted to, because he knew, Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't, isn't, and won't be his, so he should be at least happy for him, but..he just couldn't.
After it, they all had to leave the church to go to an aftermath party.
The space was richly decorated in gold, white and grey. The space was big, and there were more than 400 seats. Everyone went to their assigned one's, and so the friend group followed, before they were stopped by the groom.
"Sunfish," Han sooyoung started not coldly but not warmly to Yoo Joonghyuk who was standing before them with his bride.
"Thank you all for coming." He said, and it seemed that it was all he had to say.
"Is that really all you have to say? After just leaving us like that?" Han sooyoung asked out of annoyance, which made Yoo Joonghyuk frown.
"Are you talking about it again? I didn't have time," he responded, and Han Sooyoung wanted to lash out at him, but was stopped by Yoo Sangah.
"Don't make a scene here, please." She whispered into her ear, which made Han Sooyoung calm down, but she still looked at him coldly.
Kim Dokja coughed, before talking. "Congratulations, Yoo Joonghyuk." He forced out a fake, bright smile and laughed out. "I really didn't know you would be able to have a girlfriend with that behavior of yours, yet you got yourself a wife."
His friends were looking at him pitifully, and only the bride smiled at him with Yoo Joonghyuk nodding.
"Now that I inherited my parent's company, I will have no time to meet up or even write to you," it's not like he had any before to begin with. "so don't write to me too often, because I won't be able to respond."
Dokja nodded his head, and the rest followed him a second later. They talked for a while with the bride, with Yoo Joonghyuk making some comments, and sat on their sits.
"I really feel uncomfortable here." Said jihye after a moment. Dokja looked at her in confusion, just to realise soon after. "Mast-" she stopped herself. "Yoo.. Joonghyuk really changed." She said, at which lee Hyunsung, Jung Heewon, Yoo Sangah and Han's Sooyoung hummed, with dokja being the only one silent.
They looked at him, before sighing.
"I really don't know how he didn't notice ahjussi's feelings. He was the first one to realise that lee Hyunsung-ssi and Jung heewon-unnie loved each other, and it wasn't so visible, yet he didn't spotted Ahjussi's feelings for him.." She said, and Jung Heewon nodded, untill Han Sooyoung barged in. "Or he just didn't want to be in the situation where he would have to reject him." She said bluntly, at which everyone froze.
However, no one said anything after, and instead looked at Dokja, who was within his thoughts. They saw him playing with his hands, at which he started making bruises. Han sooyoung who was next to him slapped his hands for him to realise that, and he immediately stopped. Instead, he started to bite his lips.
"Maybe...let's not talk about this. It's a..theory, after all." Said lee Hyunsung, at which the others agreed on.
And so, the party began. The music was on, and many were dancing, some were eating, and some were just chatting. Kim Dokja looked at the newlyweds, and just couldn't anymore. "I'm going to the bathroom." He rushed out of the place and went to look for the said room. He asked around some maids, and he finally arrived in one. He rapidly went to the toilet going onto his knees, and in no time, he left the red liquid rushing out of his system with the big flowers. He just throwed up, till he started to cry because of the pain. He couldn't stop it, even if he wanted to. After ten minutes has passed, he felt his vision blurring, and finally, he passed out.
When he woke up, he barely understood where he was, when he quickly stood up, but instantly regretted this action, because he felt dizzy. He looked at his wrist and at the clock that was wrapped around it and looked at the hour. 8pm. Which meant he was here for the past two hours. He cursed in his head, and took some toilet paper to clean out his face out of the blood and tears, and rushed out of the bathroom. He got into the reception where he was earlier and looked around. He looked where his friends were and made his way to them. Jung Heewon noticed him, "Dokja! Where were you?" She asked worriedly, at which the others turned their head to him. Only Han Sooyoung didn't, and just looked down, clenching her fists.
"Haha, sorry. I..fell asleep." He made up an excuse while sitting down.
"You really need to get more sleep, Kim Dokja-ssi." Lee Hyunsung said at which Kim Dokja chuckled, and the party went on.
He felt dizzy, but he was able to hold it in to the end, when they finally left two hours later, even if the party didn't end yet.
They went to Jung Heewon's car, and made their way to Yoo Sangah's house, because it was the closest, and most of them wanted to sleep, with only lee jihye being brought up to her house so that her parents will not worry.
After that day, Kim dokja felt..like nothing mattered anymore. He knew, he did, that he will just die one day because of his unfulfilled love, yet, was it worth waiting? He..didn't want to leave everyone behind, yet, he didn't want to suffer anymore. He could barely talk because of the tens of years worth of blood and flowers, and his throat burned like hell. He had no energy to wake up, nor to go anywhere, which resulted in him not being on most of his university's lessons. He wasn't living in the dorms, so it was even worser for him. He tried hard everyday to wake up and go, but it didn't work out most of the time.
He had no strength to go to any store either, which made his body look even thinner and paller because of the lack of nutrition. He looked like a ghost, mainly with the dark circles under his eyes, and his dark eyes without any light. At some point, he had no strength to go to his job either, which made his boss kick him out. He was now jobless.
He felt like he was half dead, and he wished he was all time dead.
And so, he remembered something.
The rope he had from the project he made in middle school.
Even with no strength, he stood up, and made his way to his small wardrobe. He opened the door, and looked around. He threw around all the other things, and finally found it.
He took it, and tied it up just as he remembered from the past.
He looked around, and took the stool he had in the corner of the room and put it under the not litten lamp. He took the tied up rope and wrapped it around the lamp. He took his phone to write one last message, just to walk into the chair and put on the rope on his neck after doing so.
He tightened it in to make sure it won't unravel, and kicked the chair.
Kimcom
I'm sorry
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