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“Hyung—"
The whine comes from Chan’s bed. Normally, he would turn around, cooing over his cute little dongsaeng, and attack him with cuddles. But today, he’s filled with stress. He knows he shouldn’t be, and he knows if he turns around now, that’s exactly what Jisung is going to try to tell him.
Thankfully, Seungmin is sitting on the opposite side of the room and throws a tactical pillow at Jisung’s head. “Let Channie-hyung obsess over his outfit. We all know he’s going to end up matching with Innie, anyway.”
Chan bites back a retort at that, instead turning his attention back to his closet where he has several Halloween costumes at his disposal. Every year, without fail, he and Jeongin manage to match. Some years they’ve purposefully planned costumes within their friend group, and others, they leave it up to fate.
Smiling to himself a bit, he settles on a Street Fighter costume. It’s one of his old gis from when he took Judo lessons in high school. The top is a little tight now, but he likes the way it shows off his arms and chest—two areas he’s been focusing on with Changbin at the gym lately. Paired with some loose pants, he figures this will be a comfortable, yet sexy outfit that was sure to get him some attention tonight.
Granted… the only attention he was interested in was Jeongin’s.
Regardless, he’s excited for tonight. If he’s lucky, Jeongin will dress up like Ryu and he’ll get to see his arms on display. If he’s somehow getting a miracle, Jeongin will be dressed like Eliza, and he’ll get to see not only Jeongin’s abs and arms but also his thighs. Chan starts to space out a bit as he thinks of how much he wants them wrapped around his head—
“Hyung. Please. Just get ready, already. Jisung is starting to piss me off.”
Shaking his head, Chan finally turns around. “I’m just going to run and change really quick. Then I’m good to go. Promise!”
With a dimpled smile, he rushes inside the bathroom. Thankfully, with how simple his costume is, it doesn’t take long before he has it adjusted properly. When he gets out, a tipsy Jisung is ready and waiting to drag him to his desk, intent on doing some light makeup. Chan tries to protest, only to be met with a sweet smile and a “Promise me, hyung. That this year is going to be the year you make a move on our little maknae, okay?”
“Y-yeah, sure. Okay.” Chan’s not sure he can promise that, but he’ll certainly try. Maybe a little liquid courage will help.
As he sits there, he thinks about why he hasn’t made a move. Their feelings seem obvious to all of their friends, or at least, that’s what Seungmin tells him constantly. But he can’t help the apprehension that he’s not good enough for Jeongin. That he’s too old and too boring for the underclassman. Jeongin is already so well known on campus and has his pick of partners, so Chan feels that he’s well within his rights to believe that he’s out of the younger’s league. He gets so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t realize when Jisung finishes his makeup.
“Ta-da!” Jisung tries to turn him around, inspired to do a dramatic reveal to Seungmin, but he forgets that Chan’s desk chair doesn’t have wheels and instead tips the elder over and onto the ground.
Chan lets out a squeak when he hits the floor, rubbing his hip as Jisung stammers apologies, and as Seungmin cackles from his corner of the room.
“Don’t worry about it Jisungie, let’s just head out before I get hurt anymore.”
Before they even walk inside Changbin’s house, Chan can smell the weed and alcohol from down the street. He’s already cringing at the thought of drinking whatever disgusting jungle juice Changbin has decided to cook up. They walk slowly to the door, Chan already having to help Jisung walk in a straight line.
“Too much pre-gaming?” He teases, watching the flush on Jisung’s cheeks grow more intense.
The younger turns his head to the side, avoiding eye contact. “I told you earlier. There’s someone here I’m nervous about seeing.”
Chan chuckles. As if that’s a proper excuse for drinking—but as long as Jisung is being safe and careful, he can’t really say anything. Seungmin bursts between them, stomping toward the door. He turns around briefly, raising an eyebrow as if asking if they were going to continue taking this long to get inside.
“Let’s hurry up, Jisungie. Before Seungmin tries to get us killed.” Jisung giggles in his ear, gripping Chan’s arm as if it were a lifeline.
The second they pass through the entryway; Chan has to reach up and cover his ears from the slightly blown-out sound system. He swore he told Changbin to replace it after their summer pool party when someone managed to knock the speakers down into the water.
“Shit—I thought Changbin was gonna fix that?” Jisung whines from next to him. Me too, Chan thinks to himself, allowing himself to be led further into the house. As they weave in and out of the crowd, Chan finds himself looking for Jeongin, hoping that he’ll find him soon.
Seungmin abruptly stops in front of them, letting out a small curse as he seems fixated on the people in front of them. It’s times like these that Chan wishes he was just a bit taller, that way he could at least see what Seungmin seemed to be staring at.
“Oh! Hey Seungmin! Come meet Minho—he’s the new transfer student in the dance department.”
Chan perks up at Felix’s voice, ducking around Seungmin to greet his fellow Australian when he sees what Seungmin is staring at.
Jeongin is in front of him—dressed in an unbuttoned denim vest with matching jeans. He lets his jaw drop at the way the younger has bleached his hair, the pushed-back style looking extremely attractive on him. Chan is brought back to his senses, however, when he notices that Jeongin is latched onto whoever this new person is.
Minho. The name tastes unpleasant in his mouth as he stares him down. He’d be lying if he said the man wasn’t attractive. His hair was also bleached blond, but his outfit is considerably more pink than Jeongin's. Minho looks incredible in a pink and white gingham dress, short pink heels covering his feet.
It’s obvious looking at them that they’re supposed to be Barbie and Ken, and the thought leaves a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. This is the first time in seven years that he and Jeongin aren’t matching at Halloween. The realization hurts more than he expected.
Chan doesn’t realize everyone is staring curiously at him until he awkwardly clears his throat, breaking the silence that had drifted over the group. “Is everyone ready for a great night?”
It’s lame. A dumb way for him to try to regain control over the situation, but it works. Everyone around him lets out a small cheer and drinks are quickly distributed. Chan wants to go talk to Jeongin, but he looks so comfortable, tucked into Minho’s side lightly sipping on a spiked lemonade.
When he finally gets the courage to strike up a conversation, the two are quickly whisked off for photos by the pool. Something about recreating a scene from the Barbie movie? Chan doesn’t quite get the appeal, instead choosing to drown his sorrows in the disgusting neon green concoction that Changbin keeps putting in his hands.
Felix laughs from next to him. “Channie, slow down! You’re literally the only one drinking that, I promise there’s more where it came from.” He leans into Chan, directing his head to his shoulder and scratching lightly at his scalp.
The two are sitting on an abandoned couch, talking lightly as he waits for Jeongin to finish up his photos. Even if he’s matching with someone else, it shouldn’t stop him from hanging out with his usual drinking buddy. At least, that’s what he hopes.
The next hour is extremely frustrating. Chan isn’t a jealous person, he swears. It’s just that… every time he gets even a little bit close to Jeongin, he’s immediately directed to another random part of the house to take a picture with Minho.
If he hears that stupid name one more time, he swears he’s going to scream.
“Channie-hyung, relax. What’s wrong?” Apparently his frustration is enough to tip even Felix off, the other pausing his ministrations to get Chan upright. He huffs a bit as he straightens out, turning toward Felix.
He pauses for a moment, considering his thoughts. “I… It’s just. Innie and I always match, you know? And I haven’t even gotten a chance to speak with him tonight. I know it’s stupid, but… I just feel a little hurt.” It’s like the words just explode from his chest as he starts to rant to Felix about his feelings toward Jeongin. “And the stupid costume thing still! He could at least take a break to take photos with me. I don’t understand why everyone is so obsessed with getting photos of him and Minho together.”
“Ok… right,” Felix trails off. “But yours is kind of… not the same?” He’s gesturing wildly at Chan’s costume. Chan frowns at the words. He thought his outfit was pretty unique—he figured like always, he’d be matching with Jeongin in a way that everyone would recognize.
“Right. Not the same. We’re literally both Ken, how is that not the same?” Chan asks incredulously, his eyebrows raised into his hairline. Felix tries to answer though he can’t find it in himself to listen.
Of course, the transfer student is the one soaking up the attention. He’s the one who gets to have the most beautiful man at the party on his arm, posing for aesthetic Instagram photos and lively Snapchat stories.
“I need a drink,” Chan mumbles, pushing past Felix toward the kitchen, desperate to find anything that can take the edge off and make him feel okay again. He ignores Felix’s calls behind him. Anything else he has to say can wait until he’s sufficiently plastered and can handle the attacks on his heart.
The delightful dizziness kicks in after drink number two. Or was it three? He’s not sure how many he’s had, but he’s pleasantly buzzed already thanks to the scientific experiment inside his cup. He doesn’t even care that the neon green color cannot be healthy for him.
Chan is gleefully picking over the snacks in Changbin’s fridge when he feels a tap on his shoulder. Jumping, he turns around only to be met with Jeongin’s narrowed eyes, a toothy smile on his face.
“Channie-hyung! I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” The light voice makes him smile against his will.
He slams the fridge closed behind him and immediately hugs Jeongin, latching on to him as if he would disappear if he dared to let go. Beneath him, the maknae is giggling and playfully swatting at his arm. “Hyung, stop! I have someone to introduce you to.”
Chan ignores him and continues to cuddle him, nuzzling his nose into Jeongin’s neck and sighing. He feels the younger stiffen underneath him, which makes him loosen his grip long enough for Jeongin to slip free.
He laughs awkwardly as he looks at Chan. “I—uh, hyung this is my—I mean, this is Minho.”
My Minho. That’s what Jeongin meant to say. Chan thinks his heart has just broken in two.
He shakily holds a hand out to the other man, recognizing that the gorgeous dancer has somehow managed to swipe Jeongin’s affection from under his nose. He mentally berates himself for thinking like that, but he can’t help the hurt he feels seeing the way Minho’s hand is barely grasping two of Jeongin’s fingers, their joined hands swinging lightly between the two.
“Jeonginnie has told me so much about you, Chan!” Minho says gleefully, a glint of… something in his eyes. Chan isn’t sure he wants to know what that is about. He grunts in response
Jeongin is frowning at him from the corner of his eyes, but he can’t find it in himself to care. “I need to go to the restroom. I’ll… see you two around.”
He stalks off before either of them is able to stop him. Seemingly a recurring theme of the night. Chan can already feel tears of frustration building behind his eyes. He rushes quicker to the bathroom—it’d be embarrassing if anyone saw him cry.
Shuffling into the bathroom, he hastily closes the door behind him, choosing to sit on the closed toilet lid as he puts his head in his hands. What an awful evening. Chan wishes he knew where it all went wrong and how he could fix it. He swears this is the worst Halloween he’s experienced.
Before he can wallow in pity any longer, there’s a knock on the bathroom door. He calls out in a strangled voice, attempting to get the stranger to leave, but the knocking gets more and more insistent.
“Channie-hyung, open up. We need to talk.”
It’s Jeongin. Fuck.
“A-ah, I’ll be out in a bit, Jeongin. Too much jungle juice, you know?” It’s the best excuse he has, even if he feels incredibly sober all of a sudden. Although, it might not be the worst thing to say, because he feels the beginnings of nausea forming in his stomach because of all the emotion.
He hears Jeongin click his tongue from the other side of the door and then what sounds like footsteps leaving. Breathing out a sigh of relief, he leans backward and stares at the ceiling before letting out a scream when the door suddenly opens.
Jeongin is standing in the doorway, head cocked as he stares at Chan. “Next time, try locking the door.” He steps inside and does just that, moving to stand in front of Chan.
“Why did you run off like that?” Jeongin asks, peering at Chan through long eyelashes. He can’t help when he gets distracted by how beautiful Jeongin looks like this – assertive and with a tinge of red covering his face. There’s a snap in front of his face and he blinks. Trying to focus on Jeongin again, he thinks over the question.
Chan isn’t sure what to say, to be honest. There are so many words and yet not enough, to describe how irrevocably in love he is with the younger. Is it weird to say that Jeongin is the highlight of his life? That his reason to keep going is the maknae? Is it strange to say that all he ever thinks about is Jeongin when they’ve never been on so much as a date? He thinks it is. Especially knowing that Jeongin is involved with Minho now.
He hears Jeongin let out a shaky breath and realizes he just said all of that out loud. At least it’s all out in the open, even if he is dumping everything on Jeongin who obviously has a significant other already. Or at least, some sort of relationship with Minho.
“Hyung.” Jeongin leans closer and Chan can smell the strawberry vodka he’s been drinking. “You’re insane if you think that I have feelings for anyone other than you. Especially Minho-hyung, of all people.”
Chan sniffles a bit, trying to will the tears back. He’s never been this openly vulnerable before, much less in front of Jeongin. The fact that the younger has figured out his feelings so easily has him flustered and crawling out of his skin. He’s not sure what the appropriate response is but Jeongin raises his hand to stroke his cheek and suddenly he feels calm.
Maybe not calm, but certainly all thoughts in his head have slammed to a screeching halt, his brain only managing to focus on Jeongin and his close vicinity. Chan is embarrassed when a whimper escapes his mouth as Jeongin slowly rubs his thumb over Chan’s lips.
“Cute,” Jeongin whispers. He moves in impossibly close, one arm curling around the back of Chan’s neck as he settles on the elder’s lap. Instinctually, Chan wraps both of his arms around Jeongin’s waist, pulling him in closer. He enjoys how pliable the younger feels under his grip, can hardly believe that this is even happening.
When their lips touch, it’s like coming home. It reminds him of summers spent in Australia, with the sun kissing his face and the beach breezes messing with his curly hair. It reminds him of spending winters in Seoul with cold-tinged cheeks before experiencing the warm embrace of the fireplace at his grandparents’ home.
It feels like he’s blooming. Roots spreading into the couch, anchoring him so he won’t float away. The only thing that can keep Chan alive is the sound of Jeongin gently sighing into his mouth and the feeling of his tongue slipping inside his mouth.
When they break apart, the only sound inside of his rushing his head is his own panting, a desperate attempt at catching his breath amidst his entire world shifting because of the pretty boy in his lap. Seeing Jeongin, who is normally so composed and put together, look absolutely wrecked sets a fire curling in his stomach. He reaches up one more time to leave a peck on his lips, backing up and enjoying the sight of his flushed cheeks and glazed over eyes.
“We… We’re doing that again, right, hyung?” Jeongin asks, pulling his own lip between his teeth nervously. Chan can’t help the giggle that escapes.
“Of course, Jeonginnie. We have all the time in the world to do that again.” Jeongin smiles leaning down to connect their lips again, only to be scared by a loud knock on the door. Chan smiles sheepishly, tightening his grip on Jeongin’s lap to keep him upright. “Uh… Maybe we should get out of the bathroom first.”
Jeongin nods, gulping and trying to straighten his hair as he stands up on shaky legs. “I—Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”
They quickly hurry out, ignoring the prying eyes of whoever had probably been waiting an obscene amount of time for the toilet, and head over to the rest of their friend group. Chan knows they can all tell what they’ve been up to, his swollen lips a telling sign, but he can’t find it in himself to care. Instead, he tries to suppress a haughty smile when he meets Minho’s eyes.
Minho, who for some reason doesn’t seem upset. In fact, Chan would go so far as to say that he’s actually… happy?
“Oh~ I can’t believe my baby cousin is finally getting some. I’m so glad Mom and Dad can stop trying to harass me about your love life now,” Minho shouts, clapping his hands together.
Cousin?
His eyes dart over to Jeongin, who has a flush on his cheeks as he holds back laughter. “See? I told you I would never be interested in Minho-hyung. Besides, he’s trying to get with Changbin.”
“Yah! Don’t test me tonight, Jeongin!” There’s an identical flush on Minho’s face and Chan can’t help but to burst out into maniacal laughter. Of course he’d be jealous over Jeongin’s cousin, because why wouldn’t life throw him that curve ball?
At least it’s all worked out in the end, is what he tells himself later that night when Jeongin has him pushed up against a wall in a dark corner, leaving a trail of marks along his neck that have Chan whining and lightheaded.
If the night ended up like this, maybe this year actually was the perfect Halloween.